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It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
» S15E01 — 2020 - A Year In Review
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Season 15, Episode 1 — 2020 - A Year In Review
What if we let off fireworks?
#1
⇓
- In the bar? - It's never been done before.
#2
⇓
That could be kind of good, right?
#3
⇓
You'll burn the place to the ground.
#4
⇓
But he's right. We have to have some flair for this business meeting.
#5
⇓
This guy's a potential investor.
#6
⇓
He could give Paddy's tons of money.
#7
⇓
I know, we need pageantry. We need...
#8
⇓
I just thought of something. What if it's not a guy, it's a woman?
#9
⇓
If it's a woman, I got flowers prepped for her.
#10
⇓
- Okay. - Oh.
#11
⇓
And if it's a guy, I got a football ready for him.
#12
⇓
- Nice. That's good. - No, well, no.
#13
⇓
Hold on. What if it's a guy who hates football
#14
⇓
- but loves flowers? - Right, right, right.
#15
⇓
Or a woman who loves football but hates flowers?
#16
⇓
Hates flowers.
#17
⇓
Or a woman who was assigned male gender at birth
#18
⇓
but has retained her traditional love of the game?
#19
⇓
- Yes. - Which she has the right to do.
#20
⇓
- That is her right... - Of course, it's 2021...
#21
⇓
That's fine. Yeah.
#22
⇓
Here's the bottom line, it's 2021, all bets are off, okay?
#23
⇓
The chances of this person walking in
#24
⇓
and being your typical vanilla white guy
#25
⇓
are slim to none.
#26
⇓
Hi. Sorry to interrupt. My name's Gary.
#27
⇓
I'm here to speak to the owners of Paddy's Pub.
#28
⇓
Oh, thank sweet...
#29
⇓
- All right! - Gary.
#30
⇓
- This is a relief. - Gary.
#31
⇓
- It is so good to see you. - Phew!
#32
⇓
This I can wrap my head around.
#33
⇓
We're gonna set up over here.
#34
⇓
- All right. Yeah. - We'll take care of you.
#35
⇓
We got you a little gift here,
#36
⇓
a token of our appreciation, and from the pub.
#37
⇓
- Yeah, that's from us to you, so... - Yeah, from us to you.
#38
⇓
Oh, uh... Thank you.
#39
⇓
Phew! All right. That's a relief.
#40
⇓
All right, now that we all know that we see eye to eye,
#41
⇓
let's talk about you giving us that PPP loan, huh?
#42
⇓
Oh, I'm so sorry. There must be some confusion.
#43
⇓
I'm not here to hand out PPP loans.
#44
⇓
I'm here to collect on ones you already have.
#45
⇓
In fact, as I believe, it's three separate loans,
#46
⇓
so I'll just need to know what you did with the money
#47
⇓
and what the business has been up to for the past year.
#48
⇓
- Uh-huh. - Yep.
#49
⇓
Gary, we saw 2020 as a year to, well, I don't know,
#50
⇓
capitalize on our many various interests.
#51
⇓
We got a lot of them.
#52
⇓
- When the world says slow, we say go. - That's right.
#53
⇓
- Or strike. Or attack. - See, normally,
#54
⇓
we're running a thriving bar here.
#55
⇓
- Yeah. - Yeah. But COVID forced us
#56
⇓
to close our doors to the community, so...
#57
⇓
What were we gonna do?
#58
⇓
We had to branch out. That's what we did.
#59
⇓
So why don't we just
#60
⇓
talk about the first loan, which is "Punch Incorporated"?
#61
⇓
- Yeah. - Oh, yeah. That was Mac and I.
#62
⇓
- So why don't we... Okay. - Yeah.
#63
⇓
That's a cool name, isn't it?
#64
⇓
- It's a very aggressive name. - It's very cool.
#65
⇓
As an out-of-work bouncer, I was looking to pursue
#66
⇓
my other interests that would be as intellectually stimulating
#67
⇓
as choking out a jabroni and leaving him out in the street.
#68
⇓
Like my longtime dream of becoming
#69
⇓
an international country teen pop sensation.
#70
⇓
Girl, you give me feels when I see them heels
#71
⇓
Let's ride on a horse, making love out in the fields
#72
⇓
Out in the fields
#73
⇓
Let me be your guy
#74
⇓
Never mind them flies
#75
⇓
Just get on the horse and...
#76
⇓
Wait, wait.
#77
⇓
Hold on a second. All right, man, look, the music is starting to come together.
#78
⇓
I like the music, but I'm struggling with the lyrics.
#79
⇓
- What's wrong with the lyrics? - It's the fly thing.
#80
⇓
Horses have flies. That makes sense.
#81
⇓
Yeah, but the lyric is, "Let me be your guy, never mind them flies."
#82
⇓
It feels like I'm asking her to forget the flies
#83
⇓
that are surrounding me, not the horse.
#84
⇓
Never mind them thighs
#85
⇓
- Thighs? Where... What? Why thighs? - Yeah.
#86
⇓
Whose thighs?
#87
⇓
Maybe he's got thick, grotesque thighs and he's embarrassed about 'em.
#88
⇓
Look, there's a bigger problem. Can I be honest with you?
#89
⇓
I'm having trouble concentrating on any of this stuff,
#90
⇓
because I can't stop thinking about the election.
#91
⇓
- The election. - The election. Yes. My God.
#92
⇓
Yes. Yes. I was, like, right there with you.
#93
⇓
- I can't focus on any of our... - The integrity of the election.
#94
⇓
- Because I... - Yes. Yes.
#95
⇓
- Our democracy is at stake. - Yeah.
#96
⇓
I feel like things aren't going well with the election
#97
⇓
and we need to get involved.
#98
⇓
We were concerned that our guy
#99
⇓
wasn't gonna get a fair shot in the election.
#100
⇓
Of course not, because he's an outsider
#101
⇓
that brings a fresh perspective to Washington.
#102
⇓
- Right. - I mean, we...
#103
⇓
not everybody likes him, but that's why we do.
#104
⇓
And we were really worried that the mainstream media
#105
⇓
wasn't taking him seriously.
#106
⇓
Do I want a bunch of eggheads who spend all day learning about shit
#107
⇓
influencing how I think about things? No.
#108
⇓
No. Plus, you want a guy who's lived a little.
#109
⇓
- You want a guy who knows how to party. - And our guy knows how to party. Right?
#110
⇓
Yeah.
#111
⇓
Our guy parties.
#112
⇓
Anyway, it was obvious
#113
⇓
that the integrity of the election was at stake here.
#114
⇓
So that's why we wanted to make sure
#115
⇓
that things went smoothly at the polling place.
#116
⇓
- Right. - Hence, we created Punch Incorporated.
#117
⇓
We used the loan to buy tactical gear.
#118
⇓
Look at this one, with the New York hat.
#119
⇓
She got bussed in from that liberal hellscape?
#120
⇓
All right, let's go find out.
#121
⇓
Let's talk to her. Excuse me.
#122
⇓
- Ma'am, yes. Hi. - Ma'am.
#123
⇓
Are you registered to vote here?
#124
⇓
Are you from Philly?
#125
⇓
Yeah, and we don't want to see
#126
⇓
any of that bogus fake I.D. stuff.
#127
⇓
We're gonna ask you a series of questions
#128
⇓
in no particular order.
#129
⇓
Why do we hate Chris Chelios?
#130
⇓
Who is Uncle Eddie Savitz?
#131
⇓
Who is a better athlete, Donovan McNabb or Rocky Balboa?
#132
⇓
- Where is...? - Hey... Well, hold on a second.
#133
⇓
I mean, that's too easy. McNabb, obviously.
#134
⇓
- I... - Well, I don't think it's that obvious.
#135
⇓
I mean, do you think Donovan McNabb
#136
⇓
could go toe-to-toe with Ivan Drago for 15 rounds?
#137
⇓
No, what I'm saying is that Rocky Balboa
#138
⇓
is a fictional character, so this isn't a conversation.
#139
⇓
Are you saying you want Sly Stallone
#140
⇓
to be the starting QB for the Eagles next season?
#141
⇓
- How is that gonna go? - What year is it? Is it early 1980s?
#142
⇓
'Cause the NFC East was not strong,
#143
⇓
and I say that Sly takes us to the playoffs.
#144
⇓
Sly Stallone is a meatball actor.
#145
⇓
Then why make statues to him?
#146
⇓
We don't... Hold on a sec. Wait, just... You're crazy.
#147
⇓
Okay, the guy is five-foot-nine, to start with...
#148
⇓
And by the way, that's a celebrity listing.
#149
⇓
- He's probably closer to 5'4". - So was Doug Flutie.
#150
⇓
- You saying he's an actor? - No, I'm...
#151
⇓
He's one of the greatest football players that Canada ever produced.
#152
⇓
So, I'm sorry, now you're comparing McNabb
#153
⇓
to a teeny-tiny little man
#154
⇓
who's named after a woodwind instrument?
#155
⇓
- What are we talking about? - What's up?
#156
⇓
- Good to see you again. - What's going on? You want us to...
#157
⇓
You want us back at the 100 feet?
#158
⇓
He wants us back at the 100 feet.
#159
⇓
We'll be less effective back there...
#160
⇓
The problem is, back there, we can't...
#161
⇓
- We can't keep... Yeah. - Okay. All right.
#162
⇓
- We'll go back to the 100. - Let's... We're gonna...
#163
⇓
Hey, you want us to go grab you a coffee?
#164
⇓
- We'll grab him a coffee. - We'll grab you a coffee,
#165
⇓
- and then we'll be back, but... - Thanks for keeping things safe.
#166
⇓
- We'll stay a little bit further away. - We'll keep things safe.
#167
⇓
Suffice to say, our arguing did not help the situation.
#168
⇓
Yeah, it turns out they had their own security there
#169
⇓
to keep things safe, and they just kicked us right out.
#170
⇓
Anyway, the point is,
#171
⇓
the country was in turmoil, okay? Tensions were high,
#172
⇓
so Mac and I decided to pivot to a less controversial approach.
#173
⇓
Yeah, we went with gaining exposure for our budding musical interests
#174
⇓
as well as providing people with an opportunity
#175
⇓
to vote on another pressing matter.
#176
⇓
Freedom is the choice you have
#177
⇓
Is it Rocky or McNabb?
#178
⇓
Cast your vote and make it clear
#179
⇓
Place your voting choice in here
#180
⇓
Place your voting choice in here
#181
⇓
Place your voting choice in here
#182
⇓
Place your voting choice right up in here
#183
⇓
Right here
#184
⇓
Pop your votes right in that box there, folks.
#185
⇓
- If you want them votes to count. - That's right.
#186
⇓
Now let's take it one more time from the top
#187
⇓
before Brian Security gets here.
#188
⇓
- Yep. Let's do it. Here we go. - Yep.
#189
⇓
Now, the labeling in hindsight,
#190
⇓
was a bit obtuse and created a great deal of confusion.
#191
⇓
It kind of backed up the whole system.
#192
⇓
Right. Yeah, there was a whole kerfuffle,
#193
⇓
I don't know if you remember this,
#194
⇓
about, like, what votes were supposed to be counted
#195
⇓
and what votes aren't gonna be counted.
#196
⇓
And are these legitimate votes, are these not legitimate votes?
#197
⇓
What's this, what's that?
#198
⇓
I mean, we put our boxes all over the damn place.
#199
⇓
So, you know, we created a mess.
#200
⇓
I'm sorry, let me try to get this straight.
#201
⇓
So you're saying that you might be partially responsible
#202
⇓
for the voting count delays in the presidential election?
#203
⇓
No, no, I'm saying we might have been entirely responsible
#204
⇓
for the vote delays, but what I'm also saying is that
#205
⇓
we were two American businessmen who took out a legitimate loan
#206
⇓
for a legitimate business.
#207
⇓
Well, now that we've got that settled,
#208
⇓
I'll tell you what, why don't we play you
#209
⇓
a couple of our original songs,
#210
⇓
loosely based on the chord progressions
#211
⇓
of Emerson, Lake & Palmer?
#212
⇓
- No. - Yes.
#213
⇓
- No. I think we should just... - Yes.
#214
⇓
Actually, let's just keep moving on
#215
⇓
to the next loan, if that's okay.
#216
⇓
Uh... So, "Frank's Imports and Exports."
#217
⇓
Oh, that's this guy.
#218
⇓
- I'm gonna get a beer. - Boom.
#219
⇓
Go. What do you want to know?
#220
⇓
What were you importing?
#221
⇓
Inks, grease, paste.
#222
⇓
Sludges in general.
#223
⇓
Sludges, I see. All right.
#224
⇓
And what were you exporting?
#225
⇓
Hair dye.
#226
⇓
Frank, I'm worried about you, man.
#227
⇓
You're hitting it way too hard, pal.
#228
⇓
I was going hard.
#229
⇓
When society hits the brakes, I hit the gas, baby.
#230
⇓
Society break, I got gas.
#231
⇓
What? If you have gas, take it out in the hall, okay?
#232
⇓
Also, I need another bucket. I'm out of paint here.
#233
⇓
- Where... - I got no more buckets.
#234
⇓
Look, I shouldn't even be doing this, man. It looks terrible.
#235
⇓
You should get this done in, like, a salon or something.
#236
⇓
Salons are closed.
#237
⇓
I got to go, got to go, got to go, got to go.
#238
⇓
- Got to go? Where you going? - Yeah, I got to go.
#239
⇓
That's only half... You look crazy, dude.
#240
⇓
- Where you going? - I'm out.
#241
⇓
What... Well, take a mask, will you?
#242
⇓
- I mean, you got one? - I got... Yes, I got a mask.
#243
⇓
- You got to wear it, though, Frank. - It's on. I got it on.
#244
⇓
Yeah, but you got to cover your nose, dude.
#245
⇓
You got to...
#246
⇓
Why does nobody old know how to wear a mask?
#247
⇓
I was sick of staying inside.
#248
⇓
So I went to my favorite bookstore to clear my head.
#249
⇓
Fortunately, my favorite bookstore never closes,
#250
⇓
and they never judge their customers.
#251
⇓
Oh, hey, you got to wear a mask.
#252
⇓
I got a mask.
#253
⇓
- Oh. I didn't see it. - Right.
#254
⇓
- You're good. - Thank you.
#255
⇓
So I grabbed a few titles
#256
⇓
and I went in the back to do some light reading.
#257
⇓
There I was, staring at my idols,
#258
⇓
Peter North, T.T. Boy, the late, great D.J. Ram.
#259
⇓
And that's when I noticed it.
#260
⇓
The bad dye job. Who had I become?
#261
⇓
I was letting the pandemic get the best of me.
#262
⇓
It had taken my manhood.
#263
⇓
Well, I went home
#264
⇓
and immediately did something about it.
#265
⇓
After I popped off.
#266
⇓
I got right to work on creating the perfect hair dye.
#267
⇓
Shoe polish, India ink, permanent marker.
#268
⇓
I tried 'em all.
#269
⇓
Until I finally hit pay dirt.
#270
⇓
Whoa.
#271
⇓
Chinese motor oil.
#272
⇓
Bingo.
#273
⇓
For the first time in a long time,
#274
⇓
I felt like somebody again.
#275
⇓
I couldn't let this opportunity go to waste.
#276
⇓
I opened a chair.
#277
⇓
I became the most sought-after underground hair stylist
#278
⇓
for like-minded older men
#279
⇓
yearning for a sense of community during the pandemic.
#280
⇓
I had my PPP loan, and business was booming.
#281
⇓
Then one day, this guy comes in.
#282
⇓
Not even the usual clientele.
#283
⇓
Didn't even look at the magazines.
#284
⇓
Said he just needed a place to cool off.
#285
⇓
Next thing you know, he's in my chair.
#286
⇓
We talked about the election,
#287
⇓
and our mutual disdain for insider Beltway politics.
#288
⇓
He wasn't from the neighborhood.
#289
⇓
Said he was in from New York, doing some business
#290
⇓
at a fancy hotel down the street.
#291
⇓
He said his boss was a very connected man
#292
⇓
who needed a situation fixed.
#293
⇓
And this poor bastard was in the eye of the shitstorm.
#294
⇓
I did him up real nice.
#295
⇓
Little did I know, my work was about to be
#296
⇓
in the national spotlight,
#297
⇓
on the head of America's mayor,
#298
⇓
Rudolph William Giuliani.
#299
⇓
I was proud of how my work stood up in the spotlight.
#300
⇓
He became my biggest client.
#301
⇓
Funny thing about the spotlight, though,
#302
⇓
sometimes it burns too bright.
#303
⇓
And that was the moment I knew it was coming to an end.
#304
⇓
It was my own fault. I got sloppy.
#305
⇓
Started cutting corners, using American motor oil.
#306
⇓
And to top it off, my guy didn't win the election.
#307
⇓
The whole thing was a fiasco.
#308
⇓
I blame myself.
#309
⇓
Wait, so you're saying that the hair dye that's dripping down your face
#310
⇓
is the same dye used by Rudolph Giuliani
#311
⇓
during the presidential election?
#312
⇓
Yeah.
#313
⇓
Okay. Let's just move on to the next loan.
#314
⇓
Um... A clothing line. Something called "Garments and Varmints"?
#315
⇓
- Yo! That's us. Yeah. - Yep. Yeah.
#316
⇓
Yeah, the name's a little confusing,
#317
⇓
'cause it did end up being mostly costumes.
#318
⇓
Yeah, yeah, but it's not really confusing, you know,
#319
⇓
because varmints definitely played, like, a key role in it.
#320
⇓
- So it's not confusing. - It's confusing.
#321
⇓
- It's incredibly confusing. - I'm sorry.
#322
⇓
- But we can go on. - Yeah. Yeah.
#323
⇓
I am confused.
#324
⇓
Well, of course, you're confused, Gary.
#325
⇓
That's 'cause you're not a moron.
#326
⇓
All right, let me explain what happened here, all right?
#327
⇓
We've been on top of each other for a long time.
#328
⇓
Yeah.
#329
⇓
We bubbled together during the pandemic
#330
⇓
because, well, we're both essential workers at the bar.
#331
⇓
Yeah, yeah. Charlie and I, we're the last tit on the hog
#332
⇓
before the asshole.
#333
⇓
I am so sorry for my partner's blue language.
#334
⇓
It does not represent our business,
#335
⇓
- and it's extremely off-putting. - It was just a joke.
#336
⇓
Just stop. Okay.
#337
⇓
The point is, we were pretty deep in the pandemic
#338
⇓
when we, uh, got a pretty good idea.
#339
⇓
We were gonna sell masks.
#340
⇓
The world needed masks, and once our loan came in,
#341
⇓
we got all kinds of materials.
#342
⇓
Only, there was one problem.
#343
⇓
Bam. Check that one out.
#344
⇓
- What the hell is that? - That's a mask.
#345
⇓
Yeah, of Ronald Reagan, but...
#346
⇓
Ronald Reagan? That's Dennis.
#347
⇓
- That's not Dennis? - Whether it's Dennis or Ronald Reagan,
#348
⇓
it's not gonna stop the spread of COVID.
#349
⇓
Stop COVID?
#350
⇓
Well, we don't need any more of those kind of masks.
#351
⇓
Everybody's making those masks.
#352
⇓
Well, they're trying, right?
#353
⇓
But, see, my angle is, mine are funny. Look at this.
#354
⇓
"Fauch the Grouch."
#355
⇓
Right?
#356
⇓
Fau... That's a great name.
#357
⇓
- Who is that? - I know.
#358
⇓
"Fauch."
#359
⇓
Okay, how about this one?
#360
⇓
"Mama needs wine."
#361
⇓
Right? And this is funny
#362
⇓
'cause women are alcoholics who hate their kids.
#363
⇓
Yeah, yeah. But I... You're, like,
#364
⇓
you're missing the big picture here, Dee.
#365
⇓
- Right? 'Cause, dude... - What do you mean?
#366
⇓
...the real money is in the Halloween costume space.
#367
⇓
Think about it, man. Everyone's been stuck together at home,
#368
⇓
they're all worried and shit.
#369
⇓
They're gonna want to come together
#370
⇓
at the end of next year, so, like,
#371
⇓
Halloween store owners, they're gonna be, like,
#372
⇓
some of the richest people in America, Dee.
#373
⇓
We're not gonna do that. We're not gonna do...
#374
⇓
Let's just do the medical mask thing.
#375
⇓
Number one, it's easier, and number two,
#376
⇓
- it actually makes sense. Right? - Okay. All right.
#377
⇓
- Well, fine, we'll try your thing. - Logical.
#378
⇓
- Okay, fine. - Okay.
#379
⇓
Anyway, we made the stupid masks,
#380
⇓
but the next challenge was marketing them.
#381
⇓
Sweetie, if you're not gonna help me homeschool these kids,
#382
⇓
can you please at least do the dishes?
#383
⇓
I need to drink wine.
#384
⇓
I know you do, but, honey, I got you a gift.
#385
⇓
You did? What?
#386
⇓
A custom-made mask.
#387
⇓
Are you looking to party this Halloween?
#388
⇓
Are you sick of being jerked around by the fat cats
#389
⇓
in the Halloween industry?
#390
⇓
Then we've got the fix for you. Garments and Varmints.
#391
⇓
And now it's all starting to make sense, right?
#392
⇓
What? No.
#393
⇓
It makes less sense than it did in the beginning.
#394
⇓
- You're telling it wrong. - Gary gets it.
#395
⇓
- No, I don't get it. - Point is,
#396
⇓
for reasons we would find out
#397
⇓
much later, we did end up getting a rather sizable order
#398
⇓
for costumes from one group.
#399
⇓
Yeah, and these guys were out of state, right,
#400
⇓
- and they wanted them really fast. - We were in a rush.
#401
⇓
So we were stressed out.
#402
⇓
Now, luckily, I was pretty handy with the old girl,
#403
⇓
so we were able to fill out most of the order.
#404
⇓
Although we were running out of material.
#405
⇓
- Okay, what else do we need? - What?
#406
⇓
- What else do we need? - Uh... Pelts.
#407
⇓
- Get more pelts. - What pelts?
#408
⇓
The pelts! The pelts, you bitch!
#409
⇓
- Pelts for what? - You bitch.
#410
⇓
You insufferable bitch.
#411
⇓
I... Am I supposed to even know what that means?
#412
⇓
- Animal pelts! - What are we doing with animal pelts?
#413
⇓
I can't sew without the pelts!
#414
⇓
Get the pelts, you bitch!
#415
⇓
Yeah, now, normally,
#416
⇓
I don't call Dee a bitch.
#417
⇓
That's sort of Dennis's thing.
#418
⇓
- Dee's a goddamn bitch! - Yeah.
#419
⇓
But, you know, her vulgar language was rubbing off on me,
#420
⇓
you know, which wasn't a good look for the business.
#421
⇓
The pelts that Charlie's referring to,
#422
⇓
they're from raccoons that he was tanning
#423
⇓
in the basement of this bar.
#424
⇓
Yeah, well, you see, the pandemic had kind of disrupted
#425
⇓
the bar's natural ecosystem.
#426
⇓
There was a real uptick in raccoons,
#427
⇓
which consider rat brains a delicacy,
#428
⇓
which of course you know, Gary,
#429
⇓
and now it's all starting to make sense.
#430
⇓
It doesn't make sense.
#431
⇓
At least now he understands why we called the business
#432
⇓
- Garments and Varmints. - He doesn't care what we call
#433
⇓
- the business. - I believe that the man does!
#434
⇓
I'm taking over the whole story!
#435
⇓
- Okay? - Please go ahead.
#436
⇓
It took us three hours, but we finally arrived
#437
⇓
at the place where we were gonna meet the customer.
#438
⇓
- Gentlemen. - You got the stuff?
#439
⇓
- Absolutely. Give me one minute. - Hey.
#440
⇓
Digging that face paint. Very festive.
#441
⇓
What are you gentlemen celebrating?
#442
⇓
- We're protesting the election. - Yeah!
#443
⇓
Okay, well, I can get behind that, 'cause our guy did not get a fair shake.
#444
⇓
- Oh! - The whole thing is a sham.
#445
⇓
- Yeah, our guy got screwed, man. - Sham.
#446
⇓
Okay, so there's the costumes.
#447
⇓
I'm especially proud of the stitching on the animal skins.
#448
⇓
- That was all Charlie. - You know what I'd like to do?
#449
⇓
I'd love to throw in this cool hat for free.
#450
⇓
I think it really completes the look.
#451
⇓
- Let's see. - You know? Let's see it there.
#452
⇓
- Oh, shit. He's right. - Yeah.
#453
⇓
Thanks, brother.
#454
⇓
Now let's go save this country!
#455
⇓
- Whoo! - All right.
#456
⇓
They all seemed pretty amped up.
#457
⇓
But we were, too. I mean, people have been dragging
#458
⇓
our guy's name through the mud, saying he wasn't fit for office.
#459
⇓
Yeah, calling him a narcissist, saying he was mentally ill,
#460
⇓
and that all the people who showed up
#461
⇓
- for his events were idiots. - Yeah, but that's 'cause
#462
⇓
they've never seen the guy onstage.
#463
⇓
- I mean, he's electrifying onstage. - Yeah.
#464
⇓
All right, I'm sorry, let me try to make sense of this.
#465
⇓
You're telling me that you provided the iconic costumes
#466
⇓
at the Capitol riots?
#467
⇓
- Yeah. - Yep.
#468
⇓
Can't say they weren't good costumes, Gary.
#469
⇓
- They were great costumes. - Isn't that something?
#470
⇓
Well, listen, now that we've cleared up
#471
⇓
all those previous loans, we would like to talk to you
#472
⇓
about giving us a new loan for Paddy's Pub.
#473
⇓
Okay...
#474
⇓
- Oh my G... What was that? - Oh, sorr...
#475
⇓
Firework. Almost got you, pal.
#476
⇓
Sorry about that.
#477
⇓
- Fire. - Oh!
#478
⇓
Huh? What?
#479
⇓
Shit, I see it. All right.
#480
⇓
I got it. I got it.
#481
⇓
I got it. Sorry, everyone. All right.
#482
⇓
Sorry about that, everybody.
#483
⇓
Probably shouldn't have done that in the bar.
#484
⇓
- Is that right? - Yeah, I'm sorry, guys.
#485
⇓
- Yeah. All right, well... - I was trying to get
#486
⇓
a little fanfare for the loan.
#487
⇓
It was prett... It was kind of cool.
#488
⇓
So, hey, listen, um,
#489
⇓
listen, we really do believe that with a major cash infusion,
#490
⇓
we could turn this bar into something...
#491
⇓
No, no, no.
#492
⇓
...even more successful than it already...
#493
⇓
No, no, no. Stop. I have heard enough.
#494
⇓
You people have shamelessly gamed the system
#495
⇓
out of massive amounts of taxpayer dollars
#496
⇓
for fictitious businesses that have gone bankrupt,
#497
⇓
and still you have the nerve to ask for more money?
#498
⇓
Well, that's what makes America the greatest country in the world.
#499
⇓
When you're in need, the government comes in
#500
⇓
- and bails you out. - Nothing made me more money
#501
⇓
than businesses I sent into bankruptcy.
#502
⇓
- Yes... Yeah, yeah. - That's the American way.
#503
⇓
That's as American as it gets right there.
#504
⇓
That's right, and maybe if our guy had won,
#505
⇓
our businesses could succeed just like his.
#506
⇓
- They would've been huge hits. - Absolutely.
#507
⇓
- Yeah. - I think so.
#508
⇓
No, no, no, I... No...
#509
⇓
None of these idiotic businesses would have been successful
#510
⇓
whether Trump had won or lost.
#511
⇓
- Okay. - Trump?
#512
⇓
- Yeah. I'm sorry... - Yeah, why are you talking about Trump?
#513
⇓
- Where'd you get that? - Yeah, how are you getting to that?
#514
⇓
"Washington outsider, not taken seriously
#515
⇓
"by the liberal media, successful businessman,
#516
⇓
"unsuccessful in love, electrifying onstage."
#517
⇓
- Oh, yeah. - Yeah, yeah, that's our guy.
#518
⇓
- Yeah, yeah, that's him. - Absolutely. Yeah.
#519
⇓
- That's Kanye. Kanye West. - Kanye West.
#520
⇓
- He's our guy. Yeah. - Have you seen him onstage?
#521
⇓
Wait, Kanye West?
#522
⇓
You all voted for Kanye West?
#523
⇓
- Absolutely. - Damn right.
#524
⇓
100%, pal.
#525
⇓
- You've seen him onstage? - All the way.
#526
⇓
Yeah, man. He's the best. He's the best.
#527
⇓
No. I do not believe you.
#528
⇓
I do not believe any of you. None of this happened.
#529
⇓
There is no way that you were all involved
#530
⇓
in every major event of the past year.
#531
⇓
- Why? - Why?
#532
⇓
Because you're not Forrest Gump!
#533
⇓
You'll be hearing from the IRS.
#534
⇓
- Okay. - I don't... I don't like him.
#535
⇓
I don't think he's gonna give us the loan.
#536
⇓
I don't think we're gonna get the loan, either.
#537
⇓
- No. - You know what we should do?
#538
⇓
Let's listen to some Kanye West.
#539
⇓
That's what we should do.
#540
⇓
That's gonna bring the mood back up.
#541
⇓
We all should be listening to Kanye West.
#542
⇓
Stop the count! Stop the count!
#543
⇓
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