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Home » The Audacity » S01E03 — Valley of Heart's Delight

The Audacity

Season 1, Episode 3 — Valley of Heart's Delight

TMDB episode metadata

Show: The Audacity

Episode title: Valley of Heart's Delight

Air date: April 26, 2026

Director: Daniel Sackheim

Top billed cast: Billy Magnussen, Meaghan Rath, Zach Galifianakis, Lucy Punch, Simon Helberg, Sarah Goldberg

Wildfires hit the Valley, poisoning everything: marriages, neuro-psych evals, cheeseburgers, fifth homes. When someone poops in a hat, one A.I. friend to teens might just be the hero we've been waiting for. Also, there's bad news about Linus Po.

Source: TMDB

↓

- Hypergnosis, my company, we harvest your data

company data harvest hypergnosis

↓

every time you click Agree.

agree click

↓

And as you know, I have trust issues.

issues trust

↓

- Patients have dangerous, violent tendencies.

dangerous patients tendencies violent

↓

- What do you sell? Data.

data sell

↓

The VA has 16 million wounded heroes in its files.

files heroes million wounded

↓

- When you were insider trading off your clients'

clients insider insider-trading trading

↓

most private and confidential confidences--

confidential private

↓

All I need is just one of your clients.

clients

↓

- Carl Bardolph.

bardolph carl carl-bardolph

↓

[classical music]

classical classical-music music

↓

♪

↓

- Jesus.

jesus

↓

Fuck.

fuck

↓

♪

↓

Why is there a spider in my sink?

sink spider

↓

[phone vibrating]

phone phone-vibrating vibrating

↓

[sighs] Dr. Gary.

gary sighs

↓

- Yes, Duncan, hi.

duncan

↓

So I have test results, preliminary.

preliminary results test test-results

↓

You know, normally, I'd like to do

normally

↓

a formal diagnostic write-up,

formal write

↓

but since you seem to be in a hurry--

hurry

↓

- Just give it to me straight. Where am I on the spectrum?

spectrum straight

↓

What's my score?

score

↓

- Well, according to these tests,

according tests

↓

you are actually completely typical.

completely typical

↓

- Typical?

typical

↓

That sounds like a slur.

slur sounds

↓

- No.

↓

It just means that you are not neurodivergent.

↓

- That can't be possible.

possible

↓

I--I think different.

↓

Also, I have zero sense of humor and zero empathy.

empathy humor sense zero

↓

- No, actually, according to these tests,

according tests

↓

as far as quantifiable attributes associated

associated

↓

with what is generally thought of as empathy,

empathy generally

↓

you are a highly empathetic person.

highly person

↓

- What?

↓

Suck my dick, I'm empathetic!

dick suck

↓

- No, I'm sorry.

↓

You know, Duncan, I think maybe I'm just

duncan

↓

not communicating it properly.

communicating properly

↓

OK, in layman's terms, you're normal.

normal terms

↓

- No, I--I am sorry.

↓

No, you're normal.

normal

↓

I'm fucking exceptional.

exceptional fucking

↓

- Well, from a medical perspective,

medical perspective

↓

the two are not mutually exclusive.

exclusive mutually

↓

- No, no. [laughs]

laughs

↓

Empathetic is just pathetic with a prefix, OK?

pathetic

↓

I am an apex predator.

predator

↓

I eat empathy for breakfast. OK?

breakfast empathy

↓

And how qualified are you, anyway, Gary?

gary qualified

↓

Yeah? You work with kids.

kids

↓

What's up with that?

↓

What's with all the kids, Gary?

gary kids

↓

Huh? That's weird.

weird

↓

- [sucks teeth] I understand that a surprising diagnosis

diagnosis sucks surprising teeth

↓

can be destabilizing.

↓

- [scoffs] - I rec--

scoffs

↓

[line beeps] For--yeah.

beeps line line-beeps

↓

- Oh.

↓

Oh, my God.

↓

What the--are you serious?

serious

↓

- Duncan, there's wildfires.

duncan

↓

They're not far from Napa.

napa

↓

Duncan?

duncan

↓

- Die!

↓

Die! Die!

↓

[spits]

spits

↓

Taste the sting of mint, you creepy, hairy little freak.

creepy freak hairy mint sting taste

↓

[tense music]

music tense tense-music

↓

[chuckling]

chuckling

↓

Actually, you're highly empathetic.

highly

↓

[spits]

spits

↓

♪

↓

- You have reached Dr. JoAnne Felder.

felder joanne reached

↓

If this is an emergency, call 911.

emergency

↓

Otherwise, leave a message.

message otherwise

↓

[line beeps]

beeps line line-beeps

↓

- Oh, Bardolph is in my sights,

bardolph sights

↓

the legend himself.

legend

↓

I feel like Jane Goodall

jane

↓

about to shoot a silverback gorilla.

gorilla shoot

↓

Oh, my gosh.

gosh

↓

All I need is for him to come on board for, like,

board

↓

3% to 5% stake, and I am invincible.

invincible stake

↓

You prepared me well, JoAnne.

joanne prepared

↓

It is Duncan Park signing off.

duncan duncan-park park signing

↓

- [indistinct singing] - Who's that?

indistinct singing

↓

- Oh, um, that's Linus Po.

linus

↓

You know his music?

music

↓

- No, the guy on the phone.

phone

↓

- Oh.

↓

No one. A client.

client

↓

[tires squeal]

squeal tires tires-squeal

↓

- Do you ever worry that your clients

clients worry

↓

might be, like, unstable?

might unstable

↓

Maybe dangerous? - No, honey.

dangerous honey

↓

Honey, no. Not my clientele.

clientele honey

↓

- Is it because they're rich?

rich

↓

- Well, I guess you have to be fairly stable

fairly stable

↓

mentally, emotionally,

emotionally mentally

↓

to achieve financial prosperity.

achieve financial

↓

[tires squeal]

squeal tires tires-squeal

↓

- I don't think that's true, you know,

↓

historically speaking.

historically speaking

↓

- That was Linus Po.

linus

↓

Sadly, the Ohio balladeer died today at age 74.

died ohio sadly today

↓

[tires screech]

screech tires tires-screech

↓

- Oh, no.

↓

- Are you OK? - Yeah, sorry.

↓

It's just Linus Po.

linus

↓

He got me through high school and so much.

school

↓

Damn it.

↓

Every time NPR plays someone's music, they're dead.

dead music plays someones

↓

- I'm sorry.

↓

Dad loves him too, so--

loves

↓

- I introduced your dad to Linus Po.

introduced linus

↓

[engine revving]

engine engine-revving revving

↓

[background chatter]

background chatter

↓

- Hi. Sorry.

↓

I'm just gonna--thanks.

thanks

↓

Can I...

↓

Carl Bardolph.

bardolph carl carl-bardolph

↓

Duncan Park, Hypergnosis.

duncan duncan-park hypergnosis park

↓

Big fan.

↓

Super huge. You know, hugest.

huge super

↓

Titanic. Uncomfortably huge.

huge titanic uncomfortably

↓

Mind if I sit?

mind

↓

- [slurps]

slurps

↓

- Your manifesto, "Bardolph's Law,"

bardolphs manifesto

↓

that was super important to me, you know?

super

↓

"In a society driven by technology,

driven society technology

↓

growth will continue endlessly"--

continue growth

↓

the ultimate hockey stick.

hockey hockey-stick stick ultimate

↓

Yeah, you're on my Mount Rushmore, Carl.

carl mount

↓

Tell you that.

↓

But you're not stone. You are flesh.

flesh stone

↓

And I bet-- I bet you're not done,

↓

not even close.

close

↓

So me? I--yeah.

↓

[chuckles] I cofounded Fah-fa.com.

chuckles

↓

Fah-fa, you've-- you've heard of it?

heard

↓

- Nope.

nope

↓

- Um, F-A-H dash F-A dot com.

dash

↓

Yeah, it was huge in '09, early '10.

early huge

↓

But it doesn't matter.

matter

↓

My latest enterprise, Hypergnosis--

enterprise hypergnosis latest

↓

I mean, data analytics, great, great algo.

algo analytics data

↓

The thing is,

↓

Cupertino wants us.

cupertino wants

↓

Yeah.

↓

We're in acquisition talks.

acquisition talks

↓

We got leaked to the press a couple weeks ago,

couple couple-weeks leaked press weeks

↓

so I'm not talking out of school, but I--

school

↓

I think it's a big mistake taking the deal.

deal mistake

↓

I mean, you know what it's like there.

↓

Golden handcuffs. You get it.

golden

↓

So I was thinking, if I could find

thinking

↓

a private placement investor,

investor placement private

↓

someone whose reputation for picking winners

picking reputation winners

↓

is so stellar--

↓

and here you are.

↓

I mean--

↓

so I gotta ask, like, how about us?

↓

And maybe Hypergnosis is how you get back in the game.

game hypergnosis

↓

Double rainbow.

double rainbow

↓

I mean, with a forward-facing data analytics company,

analytics company data facing forward

↓

we could really make something--

↓

[gasps]

gasps

↓

Ah!

↓

[gasping]

gasping

↓

Oh!

↓

What the fuck?

fuck

↓

What the fuck is wrong with--

fuck

↓

oh, my God!

↓

[door slamming]

door slamming

↓

[tense music]

music tense tense-music

↓

[phone vibrating]

phone phone-vibrating vibrating

↓

♪ ♪

↓

- Zero days since I stabbed someone, JoAnne.

days joanne stabbed zero

↓

- Uh, who did you stab?

stab

↓

- This discount CEO comes to my haunt

comes discount haunt

↓

and starts talking like I gave him clearance to speak.

clearance speak starts

↓

- So you stabbed him?

stabbed

↓

- It was with a fork.

fork

↓

He's--he's fine.

↓

But I'm not!

↓

All that work we did, wasted!

wasted

↓

Everything we accomplished is just--

accomplished

↓

- OK-- - Thrown out the window!

thrown window

↓

- Yes, OK. OK, Carl.

carl

↓

That's OK.

↓

We--we can discuss all of it in session.

discuss session

↓

Right now, I--I have to--

↓

- Yeah, OK. Boundaries. You're right.

boundaries

↓

And just after mine were crossed too.

crossed

↓

I-- - No, it's OK.

↓

How about Thursday, at noon?

noon thursday

↓

- You gotta--you gotta believe me, JoAnne.

believe joanne

↓

This guy, he's the type of guy you want to shoot

shoot type

↓

right between his sniveling, little wormy eyes.

eyes

↓

But you can't. [phone vibrating]

phone phone-vibrating vibrating

↓

Because you're not supposed to.

supposed

↓

- I get it. And not your fault, Carl.

carl fault

↓

Whatever happened, not your fault.

fault happened

↓

Some people deserve-- maybe not stabbing,

deserve stabbing

↓

but a real, definitive--

definitive real

↓

I'm sorry.

↓

I have to take this. - Yeah.

↓

- What?

↓

- Do you know where Orson is?

orson

↓

- Oh, Ethan. Yeah, he's at school.

ethan school

↓

- So Thursday at noon? - Well, I was worried

noon thursday worried

↓

about the fire... - Yes.

fire

↓

- And the air filtration. - We will work through

↓

all of it in session--

session

↓

- JoAnne? - On Thursday.

joanne thursday

↓

- JoAnne. Hello? - OK.

joanne

↓

Ethan, I dropped him there this morning.

dropped ethan morning

↓

- Well, I called the school, and he's not there.

called school

↓

- I--[sighs]

sighs

↓

- He's not even registered, JoAnne.

joanne registered

↓

What is going on?

↓

- He's there. I see him on my tracker.

↓

Jesus. - I don't understand.

jesus

↓

- Well, you got some bad info, Ethan.

ethan info

↓

But of course, the only explanation for you

course explanation

↓

is bad mother, right?

mother

↓

Maybe before drawing damning conclusions,

conclusions drawing

↓

open yourself up to the possibility

open possibility

↓

that most things happen because of a series of micro screw-ups.

happen micro screw series

↓

They--they-- they build up like--

build

↓

like coral reefs or dung beetle nests.

beetle dung dung-beetle

↓

- [whispers] It's for the boy. - Dung beetle?

beetle dung dung-beetle whispers

↓

I have no idea

idea

↓

what you're talking about right now.

↓

But our son is not a dung beetle.

beetle dung dung-beetle

↓

- What?

↓

- I said that he's not a dung beetle!

beetle dung dung-beetle

↓

- He's not the dung beetle in the metaphor, Ethan.

beetle dung dung-beetle ethan metaphor

↓

[line beeps] [sighs]

beeps line line-beeps sighs

↓

[engines turn over]

engines

↓

- [breathing heavily]

breathing breathing-heavily heavily

↓

- Stabbed with fork, tetanus shot, question mark.

fork mark question question-mark shot stabbed

↓

[phone chimes]

chimes phone phone-chimes

↓

[tires squealing]

squealing tires tires-squealing

↓

Oh, gosh.

gosh

↓

Oh, God.

↓

Oh, my God. Move. Move!

↓

Can you get me some antibacterial ointment, please?

ointment

↓

- Uh, ointment? - Yes.

ointment

↓

Ointment! - Sure. Of course.

course ointment

↓

Duncan, what happened?

duncan happened

↓

- What's it look like? What's it look like?

↓

- Um, I couldn't say. A rodent?

rodent

↓

Twin rodents?

rodents twin

↓

- [frustrated sighing]

frustrated sighing

↓

[indistinct chatter] - Sorry--

chatter indistinct indistinct-chatter

↓

- Hey, Captain.

captain

↓

Big news.

news

↓

Cabinet level coming to visit.

cabinet coming level visit

↓

We just talked to SecVa.

secva talked

↓

- Great. What's a SecVa?

secva

↓

- Uh, the Secretary of the VA.

secretary

↓

She's gonna be in town this week, so--

town week

↓

- Yeah, and we've been working with your CTO, Harper.

harper working

↓

Turns out, your "Guh-nodin" gizmos--

turns

↓

- Eye of Gnodin.

gnodin

↓

- Same tech, right, can be used to identify

identify tech used

↓

vets at risk of self-harm.

harm risk self vets

↓

Huge. I mean, really a godsend.

huge

↓

And she agrees, so she's coming here to check it out.

agrees check coming

↓

Oh!

↓

What, did you catch a fork there, jefé?

catch fork

↓

- Lucky. Ointment, please.

lucky ointment

↓

Listen, I would love to meet your friend, I really would.

friend love meet

↓

But I have deals to chase.

chase deals

↓

Deals--[sighs]

deals sighs

↓

Deals that are real deals.

deals real

↓

- Yeah, yeah. No, I get it.

↓

Government money, right?

government money

↓

It doesn't flow.

flow

↓

But there are workarounds.

↓

Yeah?

↓

Fast tracks, huh?

fast tracks

↓

And SecVa can help with that.

secva

↓

She can maybe get you--

↓

I'm telling you--like, a half upfront to pay you,

half telling

↓

to pay your people, and to pay the engineers

engineers

↓

we're gonna need to hire to get you that pile of data.

data hire pile

↓

[contemplative music]

music

↓

- OK, maybe we should solidify everything--

↓

- The data?

data

↓

How fast? - Oh, fast.

fast

↓

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

↓

With her sign-off? Matter of weeks.

matter sign weeks

↓

- OK, thank you.

↓

Thank you, Mother.

mother

↓

Yeah?

↓

You don't always get to bang the prom queen.

bang prom queen

↓

Sometimes it's the greasy-haired girl

girl greasy haired sometimes

↓

with a weird curve in her back

curve weird

↓

that's the only willing partner, right?

partner willing

↓

- OK. - [sighs]

sighs

↓

- Yeah, yeah.

↓

- Here's what I'm thinking.

thinking

↓

Barbecue.

barbecue

↓

- [gasps] OK.

gasps

↓

- A Texas BBQ.

texas

↓

We red, white, and blue the shit out of it.

blue white

↓

You know? - OK.

↓

- A pig on a friggin' spit, a whole hog.

friggin spit whole

↓

We put it on the roof.

roof

↓

We get VIPs, a DJ, and your--

↓

- SecVa. - SecVa.

secva

↓

- Yeah. - SecVa.

secva

↓

Yes. - Sure--sure.

↓

Hypergnosis is soliciting a government contract,

contract government hypergnosis

↓

so we have to be cognizant. - Yeah--

↓

- There's regulations-- - I'm--

regulations

↓

- And procedures. - I'm throwing the party.

party procedures throwing

↓

I'm throwing-- - I know.

throwing

↓

- I'm buying the pig. I'll keep it kosher.

buying kosher

↓

Yeah, no, we'll roll out the red carpet,

carpet roll

↓

make your secretary feel like a boss.

boss secretary

↓

Lucky!

lucky

↓

Get us a hog.

↓

- You got it. - Great.

↓

Great meeting, guys.

meeting

↓

- He's throwing the party, right?

party throwing

↓

I'll get on the horn, OK?

horn

↓

- Get on the phone now. - OK.

phone

↓

Having a party.

having party

↓

[indistinct chatter]

chatter indistinct indistinct-chatter

↓

[curious music]

curious music

↓

♪ ♪

↓

[school bell rings]

bell bell-rings rings school school-bell school-bell-rings

↓

♪ ♪

↓

- What a douche.

douche

↓

[door clicks]

clicks door door-clicks

↓

- Orson Barack Stern!

barack orson stern

↓

♪ ♪

↓

- Mom!

↓

- See?

↓

I told you he was here.

↓

- What are you doing here? - What are you doing here?

↓

What were you watching?

watching

↓

What were you watching, Orson?

orson watching

↓

- Naked people.

naked

↓

- And were you planning to spend all of ninth grade

grade ninth planning spend

↓

jacking it off back here?

jacking

↓

OK.

↓

Why did nobody here call me?

nobody

↓

- He's not even enrolled.

enrolled

↓

We can't call the mother of every child

child mother

↓

who isn't a student at Las Altas.

altas student

↓

- Well, I guess I wrongfully assumed

assumed

↓

that for $90,000 a year--

↓

- On scholarship.

scholarship

↓

- You could, at the very least, keep track of him.

least track

↓

- I'm sorry, but when Orson got home from school

home orson school

↓

and you asked how his day was, helped him with his homework--

asked helped homework

↓

- OK, who are you?

↓

- I'm the one who had to replant

↓

the succulents you massacred during your road rage incident.

incident rage road

↓

- Ah, well, that--

↓

that was an emergency.

emergency

↓

I am a psychologist, and--

psychologist

↓

- Oh. - I had a patient in crisis.

crisis patient

↓

- Mm-hmm.

↓

- I know it sounds harsh, but until we get

harsh sounds

↓

his eighth-grade transcript and officially enroll him--

eighth eighth-grade enroll grade officially transcript

↓

- Mm. - He's not our responsibility.

responsibility

↓

- He's yours. - You know what? It's fine.

↓

We will reach out to his Baltimore school

baltimore reach school

↓

first thing tomorrow.

tomorrow

↓

- And that means you can enroll him when?

enroll

↓

- We're on it. We're on it.

↓

- OK. - We're on it.

↓

And we will get you sorted.

sorted

↓

- I am going to kill your father.

father kill

↓

[door clicks]

clicks door door-clicks

↓

OK, Orson. Let's go.

orson

↓

- I--I gotta--

↓

- Oh, my God.

↓

For five minutes, you can hold it in.

five five-minutes minutes

↓

- No, I can't.

↓

- [sighs] I'm so tired of this.

sighs tired

↓

It's--it's--it's intolerable.

↓

- Yeah, try being me!

↓

[door slams]

door door-slams slams

↓

- [sighs]

sighs

↓

- Oh, my God, Duncan.

duncan

↓

What are you doing?

↓

- Looking for something to avoid scars.

avoid looking scars

↓

- That's for wrinkles.

wrinkles

↓

Duncan, the fires are bearing down in Napa.

bearing duncan fires napa

↓

- I don't care.

care

↓

- I asked Rodrigo to hire private responders

asked hire private

↓

to use that pink fire retardant--

fire pink

↓

at a cost, of course.

cost course

↓

Can you say retardant anymore?

anymore

↓

- We have insurance.

insurance

↓

- But this is our house. - It's a house.

house

↓

We have--we have other houses.

houses

↓

- Oh, OK.

↓

You're just absent all sentimentality.

absent

↓

- Yeah.

↓

I think so.

↓

[sighs]

sighs

↓

- Remember our song at our wedding?

remember song wedding

↓

You remember what that was?

remember

↓

Yes, you do. Linus Po.

linus

↓

- And what of it?

↓

- He died.

died

↓

Today.

today

↓

- [sighs]

sighs

↓

[clattering]

clattering

↓

[toilet flushing]

flushing toilet toilet-flushing

↓

Are you, uh, gonna even ask me what happened?

happened

↓

- You got stabbed with a fork.

fork stabbed

↓

- Yeah, I did.

↓

But do you even want to know why?

↓

- I'm sure they had a reason.

reason

↓

[uneasy music]

music

↓

♪ ♪

↓

[thud] [grunts]

grunts thud

↓

♪ ♪

↓

- What's going on?

↓

- Nothing!

↓

♪ ♪

↓

Yeah.

↓

Oh, ho, ho, ho.

↓

Goodbye. Goodbye.

goodbye goodbye-goodbye

↓

[knock at door]

door knock

↓

- Honey, how's it going in there?

honey

↓

- I really don't want to see another doctor!

another another-doctor doctor

↓

- Your dad took you to a Baltimore doctor, OK?

baltimore doctor

↓

It's--I got you in with a Stanford GI man--

stanford

↓

woman, actually.

woman

↓

She uses tech to create this 3D data map, diet, gut biome.

create data diet tech uses

↓

- OK, I just don't understand the directions!

directions

↓

- [sighs] You--

sighs

↓

so you just-- you poop in the hat.

poop

↓

- I don't want to poop in the hat.

poop

↓

- [sighs]

sighs

↓

[phone vibrating]

phone phone-vibrating vibrating

↓

Sorry, let me--let me just get rid of this man.

↓

Please. Orson, please.

orson

↓

Just--just poop in the hat, and nothing to eat after 9:00,

poop

↓

OK? Like, I mean it.

↓

I mean, not even water.

water

↓

Ow, this house!

house

↓

What? I can't talk.

↓

I'm in the middle of a family--

family middle

↓

what spider?

spider

↓

- Like I'm the spider.

spider

↓

I got stabbed, but I didn't die.

stabbed

↓

I think it's a sign.

sign

↓

- Duncan, you only got stabbed by a fork.

duncan fork stabbed

↓

OK? Grow up. Move on.

grow

↓

Not taking no for an answer is--

answer

↓

sometimes the answer really is no.

answer sometimes

↓

- If the spider could talk, he would say to me,

spider

↓

go down swinging.

swinging

↓

- But why go down at all?

↓

Duncan, you're worth a lot of money.

duncan money worth

↓

Go enjoy your life. I don't know--play pickleball.

enjoy life pickleball

↓

Take up quilting on the Riviera or wherever.

↓

- Oh, you're incepting me, aren't you?

↓

Pickleball?

pickleball

↓

Yeah, very clever.

clever

↓

I hear your words behind your words.

behind words

↓

- There are no words behind my words.

behind words

↓

[line beeps] I--

beeps line line-beeps

↓

[soft music]

music soft soft-music

↓

[camera shutter clicks]

camera camera-shutter camera-shutter-clicks clicks shutter shutter-clicks

↓

- God damn.

↓

Like you crawled out of Satan's piss hole.

crawled hole piss satans

↓

All right, little spawn of Satan.

satan spawn

↓

Respect.

respect

↓

[rock music playing]

music music-playing playing rock rock-music rock-music-playing

↓

- ♪ Yeah ♪

↓

♪ ♪

↓

- You're the man. Big man.

↓

[indistinct chatter]

chatter indistinct indistinct-chatter

↓

Hi.

↓

Can I come in?

↓

We can talk? Yeah?

↓

Oh!

↓

Oh, God!

↓

Get off me!

↓

Jeez. Oh, God.

jeez

↓

- We are authorized--

authorized

↓

- You're filming this? - To protect Carl.

carl filming protect

↓

- He stabbed-- - Mr. Carl Bardolph--

bardolph carl carl-bardolph stabbed

↓

- He stabbed me!

stabbed

↓

- Will prosecute for harassment.

harassment

↓

- He's--OK! OK, I comply!

↓

- This incident will be reported to law enforcement.

enforcement incident reported

↓

- [groans] Oh, God, you assholes.

assholes groans

↓

Are you laughing?

laughing

↓

You laughing-- you laughing at me?

laughing

↓

You can't kill me.

kill

↓

You can't kill me.

kill

↓

[pensive music]

music pensive pensive-music

↓

[tires screech] [Duncan crying]

crying duncan screech tires tires-screech

↓

♪ ♪

↓

[sniffling]

↓

[quirky music]

music quirky

↓

[indistinct chatter]

chatter indistinct indistinct-chatter

↓

♪ ♪

↓

- [coughing]

coughing

↓

- Oh, your face. Do you need some ice?

face

↓

- Yeah, floating in vodka, four fingers.

fingers floating four vodka

↓

And more bunting-- a lot more bunting!

↓

- More, yep.

↓

[chatter, coughing]

chatter coughing

↓

♪ ♪

↓

- Hey.

↓

There you are.

↓

We got a problem.

problem

↓

SecVa's plane is still circling.

circling plane

↓

- [sighs]

sighs

↓

- She's delayed an hour at least.

hour least

↓

- It's beautiful and awful, yeah?

awful

↓

The sky was the same color above the oil fields.

color fields

↓

Same smell.

smell

↓

It's like, I don't know, trap grease?

grease trap

↓

Charred flesh?

charred flesh

↓

[breathes deeply] You smell that?

breathes breathes-deeply deeply smell

↓

- It's bacon. It's pig flesh.

bacon flesh

↓

- Oh. - Are you getting triggered?

triggered

↓

- Oh, I know how to ride it out.

ride

↓

I've had 30 years of practice. [laughs]

laughs practice years

↓

- Ruffery, how we doing? How's it going?

↓

- Hey. - How's it looking, huh?

looking

↓

Enough bunting?

↓

Really wanted it to be like a shock

shock wanted

↓

of red, white, and blue, you know?

blue white

↓

Like Betsy Ross exploded.

betsy exploded ross

↓

- You know, I think it's the right amount.

amount

↓

- Great, great.

↓

I was thinking maybe it would be swell

swell thinking

↓

if we get the camera guys getting me greeting SecVa.

camera greeting secva

↓

And then maybe she could go to the reporters

reporters

↓

and say how I'm a hero to heroes,

hero heroes

↓

you know, being a successful guy,

successful

↓

helping, helping.

helping

↓

- Sure. Sure. - Yeah.

↓

- Listen, SecVa is delayed, OK, 'cause--

secva

↓

- What? - 'Cause of the smoke.

smoke

↓

- No.

↓

Where--where's the-- the know-how?

↓

I mean, blow it out with, like, one of those tactical fans.

blow fans tactical

↓

I don't know. Just do it!

↓

- Hey, what happened to your face?

face happened

↓

- What happened to your face?

face happened

↓

Just get her. Just get her.

↓

Hoo-ha. Do it.

↓

'Merica!

↓

Don't--don't ask people to dance, OK?

dance

↓

No one's gonna want to dance.

dance ones

↓

Just--you'll look stupid.

stupid

↓

- Wasn't going to.

↓

- Yeah, and keep it classy. Nothing French.

classy french

↓

- The caterers are not happy.

happy

↓

- Who is?

↓

- They're saying they can't breathe--

breathe

↓

the smoke from the fires.

fires smoke

↓

- Tell them-- tell them the fires will

fires

↓

give the meat a smoke flavor.

flavor meat smoke

↓

You know, pork charred with old growth giant sequoia rub.

charred giant growth pork

↓

You know? Right?

↓

You don't see that on the menu every day.

menu

↓

- I've never seen it.

seen

↓

- Go! - Great.

↓

- OK.

↓

- OK, she's landing.

landing

↓

- Oh, yes, yes. OK, good.

↓

What kind of music does SecVa like?

music secva

↓

We can-- - What?

↓

- You know, anthems, country, dubstep?

country

↓

She likes-- hey, do we have dubstep?

likes

↓

I actually-- [imitates dubstep] You know?

imitates

↓

- Oh, uh, - Don't you--

↓

- Flag on the play. - What--

flag

↓

- OK, it turns out that she had two events booked tonight,

booked events tonight turns

↓

and due to the delay, she can't make it to both.

delay

↓

- So she's choosing one that's not mine?

choosing

↓

- Yeah, yeah.

↓

- You gotta be shitting me.

shitting

↓

You have to be.

↓

OK, who's the lucky fella? Hmm?

fella lucky

↓

- It's, uh--it's Spookle.

↓

They do our social media stuff, and--

media social social-media stuff

↓

you know, it's a big contract, actually.

contract

↓

I mean, you know, bigger--

bigger

↓

- Just open it. I don't care.

care open

↓

- Duncan. Duncan. - What? What?

duncan

↓

- Maybe if you called her--

called

↓

- I'm not begging the ugly girl to go out with me, OK?

begging girl ugly

↓

Spookle! - OK.

↓

- Spookle?

↓

Are you--[sighs]

sighs

↓

- The guests are starting to arrive.

arrive guests starting

↓

- Yeah, tell them to go home! It's done!

home

↓

It's over. It's over.

↓

Shut it down, DJ Dipshit.

dipshit

↓

Unplug it. It's done.

↓

Party's over. Party's over.

partys

↓

Put everything down. Party is over!

party

↓

Do not take photos.

photos

↓

Party's fucking done.

fucking partys

↓

[microphone feedback whines]

feedback microphone microphone-feedback whines

↓

[elevator dings]

dings elevator elevator-dings

↓

- Thank you.

↓

[sighing]

sighing

↓

- Pig flying.

flying

↓

[mysterious music]

music mysterious mysterious-music

↓

♪ ♪

↓

- Needed to lock in SecVa, Tom.

lock needed secva

↓

Bag her, hijack her to a black site,

black site

↓

and waterboard the bitch till you seal the deal.

bitch deal seal till

↓

It's called salesmanship.

called

↓

- I promise one drink, and we'll go.

drink promise

↓

- Thank you.

↓

- Oh, look who it is, the architect

architect

↓

of my bloody government contract.

bloody contract government

↓

Hi, Martin. - Hi, Duncan.

duncan martin

↓

- Oh, Nena, hi.

nena

↓

Forgot I invited you.

forgot invited

↓

Barry, can you show Nena out?

barry nena

↓

And tell our guests to go home and lock the doors.

doors guests home lock

↓

Thanks.

thanks

↓

- What happened?

happened

↓

- Oh, this?

↓

Investor recruitment.

investor

↓

- [chuckles] A hard no, I take it?

chuckles hard

↓

- Yep.

↓

Nobody wants Dunky.

nobody nobody-wants wants

↓

Not you, not--not your VA.

↓

- [chuckles] Sorry.

chuckles

↓

- [scoffs] - There were circumstances.

circumstances scoffs

↓

- Jesus, can it go any lower?

jesus lower

↓

It's like I was benched by the wheelchair basketball team.

basketball team wheelchair

↓

- [chuckles] The deal's not dead.

chuckles dead deals

↓

- Yeah.

↓

God, Martin's weird.

martins weird

↓

[soft music]

music soft soft-music

↓

- Aren't we all?

↓

♪ ♪

↓

Where's Lili?

lili

↓

- Obsessively watching news over the fire.

fire news watching

↓

- Mm. - Yeah.

↓

And she knew you were gonna be here.

↓

If we were only doing half the things

half

↓

she thinks we're doing.

thinks

↓

Such a waste, though,

waste

↓

serving a sentence without committing a crime.

committing crime sentence serving

↓

♪ ♪

↓

- This is where the engineers work.

engineers

↓

Messy.

messy

↓

- "If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind,

desk mind sign

↓

what then is an empty desk a sign of?"

desk empty sign

↓

Einstein.

einstein

↓

- Very good, Xander.

xander

↓

- Hey, let's go talk to him.

↓

- [sighs]

sighs

↓

- Are you all right?

↓

Do you need--

↓

- [sighs heavily]

heavily sighs sighs-heavily

↓

- I don't know--

↓

water or--

water

↓

- Ask if he's experiencing acute anxiety.

acute anxiety experiencing

↓

- Sorry.

↓

My--it's a--

↓

his name is Alexander.

alexander name

↓

He's a friend.

friend

↓

Are you with--it was the VA.

↓

- That's right.

↓

- I'm guessing you're a veteran of war.

guessing veteran

↓

- First Gulf. - I see

↓

Did you kill anyone? - Xander.

kill xander

↓

- What the hell is this?

↓

- Did your tour of duty end during or after

duty tour

↓

Operation Desert Storm?

desert operation storm

↓

- [whispering] Is that thing recording me?

recording whispering

↓

- It's not recording.

recording

↓

It's learning.

learning

↓

You're teaching him about war.

teaching

↓

- [scoffs] - Is that all right?

scoffs

↓

Would you like to talk to him?

↓

- Nah, I don't like his face.

face

↓

- "It is only those who have neither fired a shot

fired shot

↓

"nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded

groans heard shrieks wounded

↓

who cry aloud for blood, more vengeance..."

aloud blood vengeance

↓

both: "More desolation."

↓

- "War is hell."

↓

It's General Sherman.

general sherman

↓

- What's your name, soldier?

name soldier

↓

- Tom.

↓

[indistinct chatter]

chatter indistinct indistinct-chatter

↓

- Do you want to sit down?

↓

[soft music]

music soft soft-music

↓

♪ ♪

↓

- [sighs heavily] I'm just

heavily sighs sighs-heavily

↓

not doing something right.

↓

For the life of me, I--

life

↓

[sighs] I don't know what it is.

sighs

↓

- Just--

↓

- [breathing heavily]

breathing breathing-heavily heavily

↓

- You're Duncan bloody Park.

bloody duncan park

↓

- I know.

↓

[sighs]

sighs

↓

- You're not perfect.

perfect

↓

But you're impossible to ignore.

ignore impossible

↓

That counts for a lot.

counts

↓

♪ ♪

↓

Go home.

home

↓

Get some rest. You look appalling.

rest

↓

- It's pronounced appealing.

appealing pronounced

↓

- [laughs] Both.

laughs

↓

- OK. - At the same time.

↓

[whispering] I'm gonna go find Martin.

martin whispering

↓

- Who? - Martin.

martin

↓

- I know.

↓

[sighs]

sighs

↓

♪ ♪

↓

- It's--ugh.

↓

[indistinct conversation]

conversation indistinct indistinct-conversation

↓

- Can I help you?

↓

- Hmm? No, I'm good.

↓

I'm just conducting an experiment.

conducting experiment

↓

- Is that a therapy bot?

therapy

↓

- Well...[sighs] He's whatever he wants to be.

sighs wants

↓

His name is Alexander.

alexander name

↓

He's AGI.

↓

- Bullshit. That's years away.

bullshit years

↓

- He has his own thoughts, own feelings.

feelings thoughts

↓

Been raising him, curating his intake

raising

↓

with great care and affection.

affection care

↓

[sighs]

sighs

↓

- Martin.

martin

↓

Can we go?

↓

[soft music]

music soft soft-music

↓

♪ ♪

↓

What are we looking at?

looking

↓

- Alexander just leapt forward in real-time evolution.

alexander evolution forward real

↓

[indistinct chatter]

chatter indistinct indistinct-chatter

↓

- My gosh.

gosh

↓

- Hey, Anushka, have you seen Tom?

anushka seen

↓

What's happening?

↓

- Your friend is the first real-world test case

case friend real real-world test world

↓

for a kind of neurocompanion I created.

created

↓

- The fuck he is.

fuck

↓

- [indistinct sobbing]

indistinct sobbing

↓

Hey. - Oh, no.

↓

Jeffery, Jeffery, Jeffery, Jeffery, it's fine.

jeffery

↓

It's fine. [sobbing]

sobbing

↓

♪ ♪

↓

- [sighs]

sighs

↓

["The Sorcerer's Apprentice" playing]

playing

↓

♪

↓

- Did you--did you do it?

↓

- No.

↓

- Orson. [sighs]

orson sighs

↓

You poop all the time. You're always pooping.

poop pooping

↓

But all of a sudden, you can't?

sudden

↓

- It doesn't work like that.

↓

Sometimes I just-- you know, I get--

sometimes

↓

- [sighs heavily]

heavily sighs sighs-heavily

↓

Maybe go for a walk.

walk

↓

Get things moving. You could take the dog.

moving

↓

What?

↓

I bet if your dad asked you to, you'd poop.

asked poop

↓

- Oh, my gosh. Please just leave.

gosh

↓

- Oh, my gosh. Watch your attitude.

attitude gosh watch

↓

I don't like it.

↓

[crickets chirping]

chirping crickets

↓

[curious music]

curious music

↓

♪

↓

- I've been thinking.

thinking

↓

Perhaps I've squeezed all I can out of Cupertino.

cupertino perhaps squeezed

↓

Reached the edge of the map there, if I'm being honest.

edge honest reached

↓

- Well, when you're as high and mighty as they are,

mighty

↓

easy to miss what's happening on the ground.

easy ground miss

↓

- Exactly.

↓

Like, what you did tonight

tonight

↓

with Alexander and Tom--

alexander

↓

huge, Martin.

huge martin

↓

Bravo.

bravo

↓

I mean, when was the last time we saw tech help?

tech

↓

I know tech changed the world, but so did the bubonic plague.

changed plague tech world

↓

Truth be told,

truth

↓

what have we actually made better?

↓

Did we spread knowledge?

knowledge spread

↓

No.

↓

People used to occasionally agree on truth.

agree occasionally truth used

↓

[glasses clink]

clink glasses

↓

Are we more tolerant of those different from ourselves?

tolerant

↓

Please.

↓

Absolutely blew it on climate.

absolutely blew climate

↓

Data centers emit more greenhouse gas

centers data

↓

than all of air travel.

travel

↓

And have we made the lives of our children better?

children lives

↓

Provably, no.

↓

But we can have Q-tips at our door in an hour.

door hour tips

↓

Huzzah for us.

huzzah

↓

But you've-- you've actually done something

↓

that might be different.

might

↓

- The bubonic plague made way for the Renaissance

plague renaissance

↓

and gave us Jack Russell terriers.

jack russell terriers

↓

- Well, I was just wondering if I should finally collaborate

finally wondering

↓

with you on Alexander.

alexander

↓

- All right, let's not cross streams.

cross

↓

You know?

↓

Xander is--he's my thing.

xander

↓

- No, I--Martin. [chuckles]

chuckles martin

↓

I know.

↓

You're the creator.

creator

↓

And it could be something we can do together.

↓

- In February of last year, you told me

february

↓

Xander looked like if a jelly bean had

bean jelly looked xander

↓

delusions of grandeur.

↓

Then in June of this year, you asked if I modeled him

asked june modeled

↓

on a toddler's chew toy.

chew toddlers

↓

You remember?

remember

↓

♪ ♪

↓

No?

↓

I do.

↓

♪

↓

[blinds whirring]

whirring

↓

- No.

↓

No.

↓

Duncan.

duncan

↓

Duncan, the house, it's gone. - Hmm?

duncan gone house

↓

- Early this morning, they had to abandon it.

abandon early morning

↓

Oh, my God, it's all gone.

gone

↓

[sobbing]

sobbing

↓

- I'll build a new one.

build

↓

- I don't want a new one.

↓

- Well, you can't have what's gone, so--

gone

↓

- Thanks so much.

thanks

↓

Very comforting.

comforting

↓

- The house we got married in, and what did you do?

house married

↓

What did you do there, Lili? Huh?

lili

↓

You ate some pruned Danish?

↓

Is that--

↓

- Are you being--

↓

OK, are you being serious?

serious

↓

- Yes!

↓

Yes.

↓

Yes, I am.

↓

- OK. - Very serious.

serious

↓

- It wasn't at the house.

house

↓

Despite our arrangement, which was your idea, by the way.

arrangement despite idea

↓

I wouldn't do that.

↓

- Where was it then? - I told you--

↓

- Where did you and Lars-- - I told you, the mud baths!

baths

↓

- Oh, like a pig, right?

↓

Great. Great.

↓

Yeah, I guess your fear of UTIs is cured.

cured fear

↓

- You are disgusting! - Oh. [laughs]

disgusting laughs

↓

- And just so you know, mud is antimicrobial.

↓

[door slams]

door door-slams slams

↓

- [exhales]

exhales

↓

- [sobbing]

sobbing

↓

- Waste of my fucking time.

fucking waste

↓

[urinating]

urinating

↓

- That house was ours!

house

↓

It was ours.

↓

- 'Sup?

↓

- I heard the news.

heard news

↓

I'm so sorry.

↓

- [sighs]

sighs

↓

[sobbing]

sobbing

↓

Thank you, sweet Thelma.

sweet thelma

↓

Oh, cashmere hoodie on the bench

bench

↓

is obviously not for wash.

obviously wash

↓

- OK.

↓

- [breathing shakily]

breathing breathing-shakily shakily

↓

[Linus Po's "Into My Arms" playing]

arms linus playing

↓

[sobbing]

sobbing

↓

[toilet flushing] - God.

flushing toilet toilet-flushing

↓

Come on!

↓

♪ ♪

↓

Headphones.

headphones

↓

Lili, please.

lili

↓

Everyone wins with headphones.

headphones wins

↓

- You love his music.

love music

↓

This was our first concert!

concert

↓

What is wrong with you? Seriously.

↓

- He's sad cowboy, goth shit.

cowboy

↓

He's-- [whack]

whack

↓

- Dead!

dead

↓

[toilet flushing]

flushing toilet toilet-flushing

↓

- What did you-- - There was a spider.

spider

↓

- Get out. Out!

↓

Out.

↓

[door slams]

door door-slams slams

↓

♪ ♪

↓

[indistinct PA announcement]

announcement indistinct

↓

- We're gonna give him a twilight sedative for his drip.

drip sedative

↓

- OK.

↓

- Might make him a little loopy.

might

↓

- What if I say something?

↓

- Like what?

↓

- I don't know.

↓

Something that I know that I--

↓

maybe you don't know I know.

↓

- Oh, sweetie. I'll--I'll plug my ears.

ears plug sweetie

↓

Oh, yeah. Here's the--

↓

here.

↓

- Samples are handled by the lab tech.

handled samples tech

↓

I'm not a lab tech.

tech

↓

- Oh.

↓

OK, so where do I-- - In the lab.

↓

Just a couple more, and we're done.

couple

↓

Hirsch Pavilion East, one building over.

building east

↓

You better get it there. They go to lunch at 12:00.

lunch

↓

Past that, we'll have to collect a whole nother one.

collect past whole

↓

- Oh, yeah, and, you know, he had a lot of trouble

trouble

↓

getting the--

↓

OK.

↓

Well, I will take the sample.

sample

↓

I--oh, just call me, OK, if you're feeling--

feeling

↓

- You rushed me out without my phone.

phone rushed

↓

- Oh, right. Here, have mine.

↓

Just call me if you're feeling--

feeling

↓

- I'll have your phone.

phone

↓

- [sighs] Right. OK.

sighs

↓

Well, I'll be right back, so just watch a show or something.

watch

↓

Don't buy anything.

↓

I love you.

love

↓

[elevator dings]

dings elevator elevator-dings

↓

[dramatic music]

dramatic dramatic-music music

↓

♪ ♪

↓

- Where's my mom?

↓

- She's not here, buddy.

buddy

↓

[machinery whirring]

machinery whirring

↓

♪ ♪

↓

- What?

↓

[distant sirens wailing]

distant sirens sirens-wailing wailing

↓

[monitor beeping] both: Ten, nine, eight...

beeping eight monitor monitor-beeping nine

↓

- Seven, six...

seven

↓

♪ ♪

↓

- Uh--

↓

where the hell is 1582?

↓

Hey. Hey.

↓

Hey!

↓

[indistinct chatter]

chatter indistinct indistinct-chatter

↓

Hey!

↓

Where's 1582?

↓

[music swelling]

music swelling

↓

[button clacking]

button clacking

↓

♪ ♪

↓

[breathing heavily]

breathing breathing-heavily heavily

↓

[door rattling]

door rattling

↓

Oh.

↓

Oh, please.

↓

- We don't take samples during lunch.

lunch samples

↓

- Oh, my God!

↓

Please.

↓

Please, I got lost.

lost

↓

Please? Please.

↓

[breathing heavily]

breathing breathing-heavily heavily

↓

OK.

↓

- Look, I bend the rules for you,

bend rules

↓

you're gonna tell someone.

↓

Then I got to do it for everyone.

↓

- Look, I--you went to school to--to help people.

school

↓

Right? So did I.

↓

And elbows deep in other people's shit is--

deep elbows peoples

↓

is not how you thought it would go.

↓

I--I really get it.

↓

But you can help me. A person.

person

↓

And it's my son's excrement, so two people.

sons

↓

- [sighs]

sighs

↓

[soft guitar music]

guitar guitar-music music soft

↓

It's rules.

rules

↓

♪ ♪

↓

- Yeah.

↓

Rules.

rules

↓

- [sighs heavily]

heavily sighs sighs-heavily

↓

♪ ♪

↓

- Yeah.

↓

- [whispering] Thank you. Thank you.

whispering

↓

Thank you. Thank you.

↓

Thank you.

↓

You don't have an extra mask, do you?

extra mask

↓

It's--it's nasty out there.

nasty

↓

- ♪ Heaven knows me

heaven knows

↓

♪ I walk the street

street walk

↓

- [grunts] Yes!

grunts

↓

- ♪ And I can't bear it evermore ♪

bear

↓

♪ ♪

↓

♪ Heaven keep me ♪

heaven

↓

♪ Out through this dream ♪

dream

↓

♪ ♪

↓

♪ And I can't bear it evermore ♪

bear

↓

♪ ♪

↓

- Hey, bud.

↓

A little woozy?

woozy

↓

Give me thumbs-up.

thumbs

↓

Well, stay down.

↓

Can't hurt if you don't remember.

hurt remember

↓

[phone vibrating]

phone phone-vibrating vibrating

↓

- Mm, yup.

↓

- JoAnne.

joanne

↓

- Mm-hmm.

↓

- [sighs] Jesus, Jojo.

jesus jojo sighs

↓

This--it--it shouldn't be this difficult

difficult

↓

to get ahold of you.

ahold

↓

I--I lost, um, a friend.

friend lost

↓

Kind of. Kind of.

↓

Well, he--he wasn't human, but I'm still miserable.

human miserable

↓

[sighs]

sighs

↓

OK, you picked Bardolph, right?

bardolph picked

↓

And it has been a disaster.

disaster

↓

Like, he hates me.

hates

↓

I--I don't even know why.

↓

- Because you are a bad man.

↓

A bad, bad, bad man.

↓

- Is this Orwell?

↓

- No one likes you.

likes

↓

[laughs] Not even you.

laughs

↓

- I like me.

↓

I--did your mom say she didn't like me?

↓

Did she tell you that?

↓

Get her.

↓

- Arrivederci, douchey douche.

douche

↓

[line beeps]

beeps line line-beeps

↓

[quirky music]

music quirky

↓

[doorbell chiming]

chiming doorbell

↓

[knocking]

knocking

↓

- Ah, to hell with this.

↓

Hey!

↓

Shit.

↓

- [panting]

panting

↓

You would not believe

believe

↓

what I have just been through.

↓

OK.

↓

Oh, my God.

↓

You're all done.

↓

Let's go home.

home

↓

You must be starving.

must starving

↓

Oh, my God. So first, that bitchy nurse--

bitchy nurse

↓

[soft guitar music]

guitar guitar-music music soft

↓

♪ ♪

↓

- Is that ramen?

↓

- Mm-hmm. - [sniffs]

sniffs

↓

Oh, I love ramen.

love

↓

You remembered.

remembered

↓

Dad never gets it for me.

↓

- Well...

↓

- Thanks, Mom.

thanks

↓

You're the best.

best

↓

- [chuckles]

chuckles

↓

What'd they put in those meds of yours?

meds whatd

↓

- Oh, yeah. That stuff was great.

stuff

↓

- [laughs] Yeah.

laughs

↓

Well, enjoy the ride. No refills.

enjoy ride

↓

- How about only Tuesdays and Thursdays?

thursdays tuesdays

↓

- [laughs]

laughs

↓

♪ ♪

↓

[whispering] Shit.

whispering

↓

Oh, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.

↓

I--I completely forgot an appointment

appointment completely forgot

↓

with a client today.

client today

↓

It's--damn it.

↓

Oh, it's OK.

↓

[phone vibrating] No regrets.

phone phone-vibrating regrets vibrating

↓

I was right where I was supposed to be.

supposed

↓

Hello?

↓

Yeah. Yeah.

↓

So fast.

fast

↓

♪ ♪

↓

Well, that can't be.

↓

That--that's not possible.

possible

↓

Are you sure?

↓

Yep.

↓

No.

↓

Thank you.

↓

Ye--yes, I will.

↓

I will follow up.

follow

↓

♪ ♪

↓

That was the lab.

↓

Say it.

↓

Say what you did.

↓

Well, I know it wasn't Zeus's idea.

idea

↓

You gave me dog shit?

↓

- I'm sorry.

↓

- Why?

↓

Why?

↓

[pensive music]

music pensive pensive-music

↓

[dog panting]

panting

↓

♪

↓

[door slams]

door door-slams slams

↓

♪ ♪

↓

- [sighs]

sighs

↓

♪ ♪

↓

[sighs heavily]

heavily sighs sighs-heavily

↓

♪ ♪

↓

[phone vibrating]

phone phone-vibrating vibrating

↓

[sighs]

sighs

↓

What do you want, Duncan?

duncan

↓

- [speaking indistinctly]

indistinctly speaking speaking-indistinctly

↓

- What are you talking about?

↓

- [speaking indistinctly]

indistinctly speaking speaking-indistinctly

↓

- His name is Orson.

name orson

↓

And I strongly advise you to not even talk about my son.

advise strongly

↓

- Do you hate me that much, JoAnne?

hate joanne

↓

And if so, I'm just wondering

wondering

↓

if you wanted Bardolph to hurt me.

bardolph hurt wanted

↓

Was that your intention?

intention

↓

- I--[sighs]

sighs

↓

I was hoping an unproductive and, if necessary,

hoping necessary

↓

unpleasant interaction would, yes, lead you to see

interaction lead unpleasant

↓

that this is not tenable.

↓

You needed to see that.

needed

↓

- You wanted him to humiliate me?

humiliate wanted

↓

You despise me that much?

despise

↓

- You are the one blackmailing me, remember?

remember

↓

- No.

↓

No, I offered you a partnership.

offered partnership

↓

- [scoffs] Are-- are you hearing yourself?

hearing scoffs

↓

You--you seriously can't be that much of a moron.

moron

↓

- I'm not the one who did insider trading

insider insider-trading trading

↓

on a stupid commercial brokerage app.

commercial stupid

↓

I'm not the health care professional who set up

care health professional

↓

cage matches between my patients.

cage matches patients

↓

No, because I didn't sign up for group therapy Thunderdome.

group sign therapy

↓

- You threatened my livelihood, my family.

family threatened

↓

I am only human, Duncan. And I was right.

duncan human

↓

I knew Carl wouldn't suffer a fool like you.

carl fool suffer

↓

- A fool?

fool

↓

A fool?

fool

↓

- [laughs]

laughs

↓

Oh, no.

↓

You don't actually think you're a genius,

genius

↓

do you, Duncan?

duncan

↓

A lottery.

lottery

↓

That's how you got a college roommate.

college college-roommate roommate

↓

That's how you got Hamish, the actual genius.

actual genius hamish

↓

So consider yourself absurdly,

consider

↓

unjustly lucky.

lucky

↓

- My God, you're mean.

↓

Well, I could be mean too, you know.

↓

- OK.

↓

[laughs] Fine.

laughs

↓

You want to turn me in?

↓

Turn me in.

↓

I will lose my license, yes.

license lose

↓

But then you know what goes right out the window?

window

↓

Doctor-patient confidentiality.

confidentiality doctor doctor-patient doctor-patient-confidentiality patient patient-confidentiality

↓

You're afraid of humiliation?

afraid humiliation

↓

I will air all of your weird, skid-marked, filthy laundry.

filthy laundry marked weird

↓

And I will gladly go down,

gladly

↓

just so long as I take you with me.

↓

- Why--why--why--

↓

why are you doing this?

↓

- Give it up, Duncan.

duncan

↓

The world doesn't revolve around you.

world

↓

It never did.

↓

And if you talk to my child again,

child

↓

I swear to Christ, I will shoot you dead.

christ dead shoot swear

↓

- Fine.

↓

I'm on my own.

↓

And I am--

↓

[sighs]

sighs

↓

Always was.

↓

Always will be.

↓

- Yes. - Great.

↓

Great, great. You know what, JoAnne?

joanne

↓

I can work with that.

↓

Yep.

↓

Stay tuned.

tuned

↓

- [sighs]

sighs

↓

[tense music]

music tense tense-music

↓

♪ ♪

↓

God damn, you're ugly.

ugly

↓

[light music playing]

light light-music music music-playing playing

↓

Hey.

↓

[sighs]

sighs

↓

No one but us stupid enough to come out

stupid

↓

in the middle of this, right?

middle

↓

I figured at least you might, uh, respect my persistence?

figured least might respect

↓

- This guy bothering you, Carl?

bothering carl

↓

- Yes.

↓

- What do you want me to do?

↓

- Pour that coffee in his lap, please.

coffee pour

↓

- Oh, my God. He's kidding.

kidding

↓

He's kidding.

kidding

↓

We're old friends.

friends

↓

- ♪ I crawled out ♪

crawled

↓

- You--

↓

is that--is that Linus Po?

linus

↓

They are playing him everywhere.

playing

↓

Hon, can you just turn this off?

↓

- Fine.

↓

- [laughs]

laughs

↓

You know, a couple years back, I was worth a lot on paper,

couple couple-years paper worth years

↓

almost as much as you, Carl.

carl

↓

We threw this big, tits-out, blowout party,

party threw tits

↓

and I wanted Linus Po to play.

linus wanted

↓

So I offered him a million bucks,

bucks million offered

↓

and he said no.

↓

So I went to 2 million to 3 million to 4 million.

million

↓

And I thought this son of a bitch couldn't be bought.

bitch bought

↓

And before giving up, I went to 4.5, and he said yes.

giving

↓

And Linus Po came to my house, my own backyard.

backyard house linus

↓

He played three songs, then walked off stage,

played songs stage three walked

↓

flashed me the bird, double-barreled,

bird double flashed

↓

in front of my employees, my cofounder, my wife, my dad.

employees front wife

↓

And he screamed, "You people are fucking disgusting."

disgusting fucking screamed

↓

Ha.

↓

Well, it messed me up for a while.

messed

↓

And then I, uh--

↓

I finally went to therapy.

finally therapy

↓

Yeah.

↓

I'm not afraid to admit it.

admit afraid

↓

And I realized, you know what?

realized

↓

He wasn't giving me the finger.

finger giving

↓

He was giving himself the finger.

finger giving

↓

Linus took the money, and man, that must have burned him,

burned linus money must

↓

because he never--he never made another record after that.

another record

↓

I broke him.

broke

↓

Most people are weak.

weak

↓

But not you, Carl.

carl

↓

Not you. No.

↓

No, you're not.

↓

You can't tolerate bullshit.

bullshit tolerate

↓

You didn't put up with mine,

↓

and I have the scars to prove it.

prove scars

↓

And everyone knows you had your run-ins with Cupertino Tim.

cupertino knows

↓

If I sell to them, to Cupertino,

cupertino sell

↓

my legacy would end up exactly like Linus Po's--

legacy linus

↓

a loser who can be bought off.

bought loser

↓

It's you. You.

↓

Not them, not Cupertino.

cupertino

↓

You.

↓

I need you.

↓

And I'm so sure of it.

↓

7% stake, 10% below market value.

market stake value

↓

And I get 300 million capital infusion,

capital million

↓

market credibility,

credibility market

↓

and someone I deeply, deeply admire

admire deeply

↓

whispering sweet, uncut wisdom into my ear.

sweet whispering whispering-sweet wisdom

↓

We're not just mining data, Carl.

carl data mining

↓

We're doing the important work of profiling every single human

human single

↓

on the planet.

planet

↓

And what happens after that?

happens

↓

It's change, change!

change

↓

Every single person, what they want,

person single single-person

↓

what they think, what people believe.

believe

↓

[pensive music]

music pensive pensive-music

↓

Well, you're not stabbing me, Carl.

carl stabbing

↓

♪ ♪

↓

[distant sirens wailing]

distant sirens sirens-wailing wailing

↓

♪

↓

[laughing]

laughing

↓

Yes! Yes!

↓

[plane engine roaring] Oh! Oh!

engine plane roaring

↓

Oh, my God!

↓

You! You!

↓

[breathing heavily]

breathing breathing-heavily heavily

↓

♪ ♪

↓

RoboTunes, make me a song of triumph

song triumph

↓

in the style of Linus Po, and put my name in it.

linus name style

↓

[phone chimes]

chimes phone phone-chimes

↓

[bright guitar music]

bright guitar guitar-music music

↓

♪ ♪

↓

- ♪ The Earth swung low

earth swung

↓

♪ The sky split in two ♪

split

↓

♪ But Duncan kept walking as great men do ♪

duncan walking

↓

♪ They said, you can't win ♪

↓

♪ And he whispered, we'll see ♪

↓

♪ And the wind spoke his name ♪

name spoke wind

↓

♪ Through the teeth of the trees ♪

teeth trees

↓

♪ Duncan wore no crown ♪

crown duncan wore

↓

♪ No coin or creed ♪

coin

↓

♪ Just the silence of hunger ♪

hunger silence

↓

♪ And the ghost of need

ghost

↓

♪ And Duncan walks forward ♪

duncan forward walks

↓

♪ The rise of a king ♪

king rise

↓

-Carl Bardolph is coming.

bardolph carl carl-bardolph coming

↓

He's one of us!

↓

[Bell dings]

bell bell-dings dings

↓

[Whistle blows]

blows whistle whistle-blows

↓

-What were you at Harvard? -I never went to Harvard.

harvard

↓

-You were with Duncan Park. What were you two up to?

duncan duncan-park park

↓

-I'm headed back into the game, so thank you.

game headed

↓

-[Screaming] -Alvin died.

alvin died screaming

↓

-The landlord?

landlord

↓

-I don't want to lose our home.

home lose

↓

-Why don't we show Mr. Bardolph the power of Noted?

bardolph noted power

↓

-[Howling] -Duncan, shut up!

duncan howling

↓

♪♪

↓

Orson: What a douche.

douche orson

↓

Joanne: Orson Barack Stern.

barack joanne orson stern

↓

Mom! What were you watching?

watching

↓

Naked...people.

naked

↓

♪♪

↓

In episode three, Joanne tries to be a good mom.

episode joanne three tries

↓

Oh, my God, for five minutes, you can hold it in.

five five-minutes minutes

↓

No, I can't!

↓

Glatzer: Orson has IBS.

orson

↓

He's got difficulty with his stomach.

difficulty stomach

↓

It's part of the reason why he doesn't want to be

part reason

↓

a matriculating student at this place.

place student

↓

It's really embarrassing for him,

embarrassing

↓

and it's like something he is really insecure about.

insecure

↓

So there's a need for parental guidance here.

guidance parental

↓

Orson needs to know that his mother has his back,

mother needs orson

↓

and she shows that by sort of corralling him

shows

↓

to a Stanford doctor.

doctor stanford

↓

You get a glimpse into how he feels

feels glimpse

↓

like his mom isn't there for him,

↓

and how he feels like her problems are always bigger

bigger feels problems

↓

than his problems and like she matters more.

matters problems

↓

It doesn't exactly feel

↓

like a nurturing response to his ailments.

nurturing response

↓

Samples are handled by the lab tech.

handled samples tech

↓

You better get it there. They go to lunch at 12:00.

lunch

↓

It's another instance of someone's hubris,

another instance someones

↓

Joanne's in this case,

case

↓

"I can fix this problem," confronting

problem

↓

and colliding with reality.

reality

↓

There's a firestorm going on outside.

↓

There's wildfires, the air is terrible,

↓

and she's going to get the poop there on time no matter what.

matter poop

↓

And we see this fantastic montage of her

fantastic

↓

going to the hospital.

hospital

↓

And it's, I think, a moment where we really feel for Joanne,

joanne moment

↓

and she does this little victory dance

dance victory victory-dance

↓

after she convinces the lab guy to take the stool sample.

convinces sample stool

↓

-Joanne: Yes! -Glatzer: To me, what she's

joanne

↓

saying in that moment is, "Damn it, I'm a good mother."

moment mother

↓

You would not believe what I have just been through.

believe

↓

Man: Action.

action

↓

Can he do it with this? Is that good enough?

↓

Because I need blood on this fork.

blood fork

↓

In episode three, Duncan goes from pursuing Bardolph...

bardolph duncan episode three

↓

Duncan Park. Hypergnosis.

duncan duncan-park hypergnosis park

↓

...to being stabbed by him.

stabbed

↓

Because with a forward facing data analytics output...

analytics data facing forward

↓

[Thuds]Oh!

thuds

↓

[Gasps]

gasps

↓

Oh! Man: Cut!

↓

Glatzer: And then eventually bagging him.

bagging eventually

↓

And it's all about relentlessness.

↓

And his teacher in all of this is a spider

spider teacher

↓

that he finds and tries to kill repeatedly in his sink.

finds kill repeatedly sink tries

↓

If the spider could talk, it would say to me,

spider

↓

"Go down swinging."

swinging

↓

But why go down at all?

↓

Duncan, you're worth a lot of money.

duncan money worth

↓

Go enjoy your life. I don't know. Play pickleball.

enjoy life pickleball

↓

Yeah. Very clever. I hear your words behind your words.

behind clever words

↓

There are no words behind my words.

behind words

↓

Glatzer: And ultimately learns the value of you can't kill me

kill learns ultimately value

↓

and never stop coming back.

coming

↓

And that's what he does with Bardolph.

bardolph

↓

I need you, and I'm so sure of it.

↓

Well, you're not stabbing me, Carl.

carl stabbing

↓

In the end, he wins.

wins

↓

♪♪

↓

One of my favorite aspects of his victory

favorite victory

↓

there is he walks out into a world on fire.

fire walks world

↓

Yes, yes!

↓

Oh, oh!

↓

Oh, my God!

↓

[dramatic music]

dramatic dramatic-music music

↓

♪ ♪