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Home » South Park » S28E02 — The Woman in the Hat

South Park

Season 28, Episode 2 — The Woman in the Hat

TMDB episode metadata

Show: South Park

Episode title: The Woman in the Hat

Air date: October 31, 2025

Director: Trey Parker

Top billed cast: Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Mona Marshall, Jennifer Howell

The White House deals with a disruptive spirit from the east wing. Meanwhile, Stan worries that South Park has become too political.

Source: TMDB

↓

[theme music]

music theme theme-music

↓

♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪

↓

- ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪

faces friendly friendly-faces

↓

♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪

folks humble humble-folks temptation

↓

♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪

behind woes woes-behind

↓

- ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪

ample ample-parking night parking

↓

♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor" ♪

howdy howdy-neighbor neighbor spouting spouting-howdy spouting-howdy-neighbor

↓

- ♪ [mumbling] ♪

mumbling

↓

[bright music]

bright music

↓

♪ ♪

↓

[indistinct chatter]

chatter indistinct indistinct-chatter

↓

♪ ♪

↓

- How was school today, bud?

school school-today today

↓

- It was fine.

↓

- Look, Stan, I know it's been really hard for you

hard stan

↓

the past month, with us not having a home.

having home month past past-month

↓

- Yeah, it sucks.

sucks

↓

- I've tried to find work,

tried

↓

but there's just not a lot out there.

↓

And with the government shutdown,

government

↓

I can't get my job back with the USGS.

↓

Times are hard, and I know we all miss Tegridy.

hard miss tegridy times

↓

- I don't miss Tegridy, Dad.

miss tegridy

↓

I just hate that our family is living in a motel.

family hate living motel

↓

It's really embarrassing.

embarrassing

↓

- Well, that's what I need to tell you, Stan.

stan

↓

There's some good news-- we're moving out of the motel.

motel moving news

↓

- Wait, really? We can live in a house again?

house live

↓

- Well, no, we can't afford a house, so...

afford house

↓

we're moving in with your grandpa.

grandpa moving

↓

- Moving in with Grandpa?

grandpa moving

↓

- This is a bunch of bull crap!

bull bunch

↓

First you stick me in this place,

place stick

↓

and then you all come along?

along

↓

- Pretty nice, huh, guys?

↓

There's a TV, a microwave,

microwave

↓

and we have Bingo on Thursdays.

bingo thursdays

↓

- There has to be somewhere else we can live.

live

↓

- Come on, Stan.

stan

↓

You have that space over there by Grandpa's shit pan.

grandpas space

↓

- You can't make me stay here.

↓

This is completely inhumane.

completely inhumane

↓

- That's what I said!

↓

Didn't work.

↓

[lively music]

lively music

↓

♪ ♪

↓

[hammers pounding, metal clangs]

clangs hammers metal pounding

↓

- OK, so then over here is where you're gonna have

↓

the big golden pillars that you guys wanted.

golden wanted

↓

- Ah, yeah! That's great!

↓

- OK, and then right over here

↓

is where we're gonna put your dance floor.

dance dance-floor floor

↓

- All right!

↓

- Wait, dance floor?

dance dance-floor floor

↓

I thought we were knocking the East Wing down

east east-wing knocking wing

↓

to make room for the nursery.

nursery room

↓

- The what? - The nursery!

nursery

↓

You said all this remodeling was for the baby,

baby

↓

not to make room for more of your stupid parties.

parties room stupid

↓

- Hey, relax, guy!

relax

↓

We can just stick the baby in the bathroom or something.

baby bathroom stick

↓

- Wow! OK, so obviously I have no say in this remodel.

obviously

↓

- Mr. President, sir.

president

↓

I'm very sorry, but we need to speak with you urgently.

speak

↓

It's a matter of national security.

matter national national-security security

↓

[dramatic music]

dramatic dramatic-music music

↓

We don't want to frighten you, Mr. President,

frighten president

↓

but we've received intelligence

intelligence received

↓

that someone might be trying to stop your baby from being born.

baby born might

↓

- What?

↓

Who?

↓

- Hey! Relax, guy!

relax

↓

- We don't know who yet, sir,

↓

but Pam Bondi has been looking into it.

bondi looking

↓

- That's right, sir, we won't let any harm

harm

↓

come to the baby of the greatest president that ever lived.

baby greatest lived president

↓

You are without equal, sir-- - Uh, hey, Pam.

equal

↓

- And we are honored to be-- Pam. Pam, sorry.

honored

↓

You got a little shit on your nose there.

nose

↓

- Oh, do I?

↓

Did I get it?

↓

- No, it's still there.

↓

- If someone is trying to harm the baby,

baby harm

↓

then we must know who.

must

↓

- Well, there is... one theory.

theory

↓

[sinister music]

music sinister sinister-music

↓

Some people believe that by demolishing the East Wing,

believe east east-wing wing

↓

we may have unleashed some sort of...wrath.

unleashed wrath

↓

♪ ♪

↓

- What kind of wrath?

wrath

↓

- Vengeful...

↓

wrath.

wrath

↓

[thunder booming]

booming thunder thunder-booming

↓

♪ ♪

↓

[phone ringing]

phone phone-ringing ringing

↓

- What the hell is going on?

↓

I was supposed to be in Washington.

supposed washington

↓

- There has been a change in plan, Mr. Thiel.

change plan thiel

↓

They are on to us at the White House.

house white white-house

↓

- But how?

↓

How did they find out?

↓

- Someone must have heard us talking.

heard must

↓

Do you still have the child?

child

↓

- Yes, he's here.

↓

I have him heavily sedated.

heavily

↓

It should last another six, seven hours.

another hours seven seven-hours

↓

- [chortling laughter]

laughter

↓

[mumbling] Six, seven!

mumbling seven

↓

- But I can't keep him here forever.

forever

↓

- You'll just have to wait until it is safe.

safe

↓

I think some brownnoser here is after my job.

↓

- Hey.

↓

Come on in.

↓

You guys can't tell anybody that I'm living here.

anybody living

↓

- Stan, you shouldn't be embarrassed, all right?

embarrassed stan

↓

Everyone's having a hard time right now.

everyones hard having

↓

- Yeah, everyone's having a hard time.

everyones hard having

↓

And you know what the problem is?

problem

↓

Nobody's doing anything about it.

nobodys

↓

How many weeks has it been now,

weeks

↓

dealing with one stupid thing after another?

another dealing stupid

↓

The truth is, I think a lot of people are just afraid to admit

admit afraid truth

↓

that South Park sucks now.

park park-sucks south south-park south-park-sucks sucks

↓

- South Park sucks now?

park park-sucks south south-park south-park-sucks sucks

↓

- Yeah, everyone knows it. South Park sucks now.

knows park park-sucks south south-park south-park-sucks sucks

↓

And it's because of all this political shit.

political

↓

We're just getting totally bogged down in it.

↓

Remember when we used to do stuff?

remember stuff used

↓

Just us guys?

↓

Ever since all this political crap took over,

political

↓

it's like--what?

↓

Like--like what happened to us?

happened

↓

Like, Kenny, I haven't even heard you say anything

heard kenny

↓

in, like, four months.

four four-months months

↓

- [muffled speech]

muffled muffled-speech speech

↓

- You see? That's what I mean!

↓

We don't even know what to say.

↓

South Park's getting ruined, and all of us Gen Alpha kids

alpha kids parks ruined south south-parks

↓

are just sitting here, watching it happen.

happen sitting watching

↓

- You're right, dude. - [muffled] Yeah!

muffled

↓

- But what do we do?

↓

- I know exactly what to do.

↓

Hey, guys, are you sick and tired

sick tired

↓

of what's happening to our town?

town

↓

Do you feel like it's broken and going nowhere?

broken

↓

Then click below and join our online community

click community join online

↓

at South Park Sucks Now.

park park-sucks south south-park south-park-sucks sucks

↓

Things are clearly not right here,

↓

and if you're like us, you are fed up!

↓

- South Park Sucks Now!

park park-sucks south south-park south-park-sucks sucks

↓

- So please, like and subscribe, smash the button, upvote--

button smash subscribe

↓

whatever the hell you need to do,

↓

because together, we can make a difference.

difference

↓

[eerie music]

eerie eerie-music music

↓

DAN SCAVINO: Mr. President, we don't want you to be afraid.

afraid president

↓

Tell us exactly what it is you think you saw.

↓

♪ ♪

↓

- Ever since I tore down the East Wing, there's...

east east-wing tore wing

↓

this thing

↓

that keeps appearing.

appearing keeps

↓

- What kind of thing?

↓

- Sometimes I see it in a mirror.

mirror sometimes

↓

Or in the hallway.

hallway

↓

PAM BONDI: President Trump, you are an incredible man.

bondi incredible president president-trump trump

↓

Whatever this is, we have your back.

↓

- Uh, Pam. Pam, you got some shit on your nose again.

nose

↓

- Oh, really?

↓

- Mr. President, this entity you speak of,

entity president speak

↓

how many times has it appeared?

appeared times

↓

- It appears more and more lately.

appears lately

↓

I-I can't get away from it.

↓

It's everywhere I go.

↓

[music stops]

music music-stops stops

↓

[whispering] It's here right now.

whispering

↓

In the corner.

corner

↓

[ominous tone]

ominous tone

↓

- I'm pretty sure that's your wife, sir.

wife

↓

- My wife?

wife

↓

[whispering] What does it want?

whispering

↓

[ominous tone]

ominous tone

↓

- Maybe it's somehow trying to communicate.

communicate

↓

Don't worry, we won't let anything happen to you.

happen worry

↓

- Ah! Where did Pam Bondi go?

bondi

↓

- What? - Pam Bondi! She's gone!

bondi gone

↓

- But she was sitting right here!

sitting

↓

- Pam? - Pam?

↓

- Where's Pam Bondi?

bondi

↓

- I'm right here, sir!

↓

- [gasps] Look, it's back. - What's back?

gasps

↓

- You've got some shit on your nose again.

nose

↓

- Oh, my God! What is going on?

↓

- That thing! It's not there anymore.

anymore

↓

[ominous tone]

ominous tone

↓

Ah!

↓

[tones chime]

chime tones

↓

PA: Good morning, seniors.

morning seniors

↓

It's 6:30 a.m.

↓

- Ugh, God, 6:30?

↓

- Yeah, it fucking sucks, doesn't it?

fucking fucking-sucks sucks

↓

- Holy shit.

holy

↓

- What?

↓

- Holy shit.

holy

↓

756,000 likes, you guys.

likes

↓

We just built a massive online community.

built community massive online

↓

- Wow. I can't believe how many people agree with us.

agree believe

↓

- I thought we could get 50 or 60 kids from school to sign up,

kids school sign

↓

but this is incredible.

incredible

↓

- All right, we've got everyone's attention.

attention everyones

↓

So what do we do now?

↓

- What do you mean, dude? It's obvious.

obvious

↓

It's time for phase two.

phase

↓

[gentle music]

gentle gentle-music music

↓

Hey, guys, if you've come here,

↓

then you're likely joining the chorus of voices

chorus joining likely voices

↓

that's fed up with the direction our town is going.

direction town

↓

We all want change in our community.

change community

↓

And now there's an opportunity

opportunity

↓

to truly make your voices heard.

heard truly voices

↓

Introducing the South Park Sucks Now cryptocurrency coin.

coin introducing park park-sucks south south-park south-park-sucks sucks

↓

This used to be a great town before all the politics came

politics town used

↓

and ruined it all.

ruined

↓

Get in on our crypto meme coin

coin crypto meme

↓

with this incredible presale offer.

incredible offer

↓

Each coin is just $9.95,

coin

↓

but could be worth ten times that overnight!

overnight times worth

↓

- Wait, a meme coin?

coin meme

↓

- Do you want South Park to change?

change park south south-park

↓

Then order your coin today at SouthParkSucksNow.com.

coin order today

↓

Stan Marsh is not a financial advisor

advisor financial marsh stan stan-marsh

↓

affiliated with any financial institution.

financial institution

↓

Digital assets are highly volatile

assets digital highly

↓

and may involve significant risk,

involve risk significant

↓

including loss of all funds.

funds including loss

↓

Ownership of South Park Sucks Now Coin

coin ownership park park-sucks south south-park south-park-sucks sucks

↓

does not represent equity, profit sharing, or ownership

ownership profit represent sharing

↓

of any company platform or project.

company platform project

↓

Participation is voluntary and should only be undertaken

↓

by individuals who fully understand the risks

fully individuals risks

↓

associated with block chain assets.

assets associated block chain

↓

South Park Sucks Now Coin is not registered with

coin park park-sucks registered south south-park south-park-sucks sucks

↓

or regulated by the SEC or any financial authority.

authority financial

↓

Please review all disclosures and consult a licensed financial

consult financial licensed review

↓

advisor before engaging in digital asset transactions.

advisor asset digital

↓

[thunder booming]

booming thunder thunder-booming

↓

[ominous music]

music ominous ominous-music

↓

♪ ♪

↓

[scraping]

scraping

↓

♪ ♪

↓

[shower curtain scrapes]

curtain shower

↓

♪ ♪

↓

[Towelie screaming]

screaming towelie

↓

♪ ♪

↓

[cabinet squeaks]

cabinet squeaks

↓

Ah, fuck!

fuck

↓

Fuck! - What?

fuck

↓

- It's the Woman in the Hat!

woman

↓

- What are you talking about?

↓

- The Woman in the Hat!

woman

↓

She's in the fucking bathroom!

bathroom fucking

↓

- We've double checked everything, sir.

checked double

↓

All the exterior doors are locked.

doors exterior locked

↓

No windows have been breached.

windows

↓

- And yet the president swears

president

↓

something was in the room with him.

room

↓

- Is he going to be all right?

↓

- Pretty shaken.

↓

Pam Bondi is in there now

bondi

↓

trying to calm him down and make him feel better.

calm

↓

PAM BONDI: [screaming]

bondi screaming

↓

DAN SCAVINO: Pam?

↓

Oh, my God!

↓

- [groaning]

groaning

↓

- Stan, what are we doing?

stan

↓

- What do you mean, dude? We're trying to change things.

change

↓

- By selling cryptocurrency?

selling

↓

- What's wrong with trying to make a little money

money

↓

while also pointing out the things wrong with our town?

pointing town

↓

- [muffled] Yeah, what's wrong with that?

muffled

↓

- I have to do something, Kyle.

kyle

↓

I'm nine years old and I live in a retirement home.

home live nine retirement retirement-home years

↓

- And you really think crypto is your way out?

crypto

↓

Do you even know anything about how that stuff works?

stuff works

↓

- Well, actually, we have a really strong crypto advisor--

advisor crypto strong

↓

your cousin on the east coast.

coast cousin east east-coast

↓

- My cousin?

cousin

↓

- I'm back!

↓

on your coin, boys.

boys coin

↓

The presale really popped.

popped

↓

We cleared 100 grand in volume before liquidity even locked.

cleared grand locked volume

↓

The token's really got traction.

↓

- And we don't ever have to pay anything, right?

↓

- Nope, you never pay anything. You guys created the coin,

coin created nope

↓

so all you do is profit from it.

profit

↓

- See? I told you.

↓

- [muffled speech]

muffled muffled-speech speech

↓

- Now we just need to keep creating hype

creating hype

↓

around the South Park Sucks Now digital coin,

coin digital park park-sucks south south-park south-park-sucks sucks

↓

so we need to come up with things to give people FOMO

↓

and make them ape even harder.

harder

↓

- You guys, this isn't about a coin.

coin

↓

It's about a movement.

movement

↓

- Oh, that's really good.

↓

- Yeah, yeah, that's perfect.

perfect

↓

"This isn't about a coin. It's about a movement."

coin movement

↓

Yeah, that's some savvy Jew Jitsu right there.

savvy

↓

to get our money?

money

↓

I need it as fast as possible.

fast possible

↓

- Well, I think we're looking at a classic rug pull

classic looking pull

↓

in just a few days.

days

↓

Once we pump the coin high as it'll go,

coin itll pump

↓

then I can register for an MSB with the federal government.

federal government register

↓

- The federal government? That sounds hard.

federal government hard sounds

↓

- Oh, no, it's gonna be easy.

easy

↓

The crypto corruption at the White House is off the chain.

chain corruption crypto house white white-house

↓

We're gonna screw a lot of people out of their money, boys.

boys money screw

↓

It's gonna be fantastic.

fantastic

↓

[thunder booming]

booming thunder thunder-booming

↓

[heavy knocking]

heavy knocking

↓

[thunder booms]

booms thunder thunder-booms

↓

- Yes?

↓

- Uh, yes, we're paranormal investigators.

investigators

↓

We've been asked to come and investigate

asked investigate

↓

the mysterious Woman in the Hat.

mysterious woman

↓

- I am Stephen Miller,

miller stephen

↓

Senior Advisor to the President for Immigration

advisor president senior

↓

and Domestic Policy.

domestic policy

↓

[thunder booms]

booms thunder thunder-booms

↓

Won't you...

↓

come in?

↓

PARANORMAL INVESTIGATOR HUSBAND: Oh, my God, it's incredible.

husband incredible

↓

Subject is showing some kind of viscous residue on her nose.

nose showing subject

↓

- Well, what the fuck is it?

fuck

↓

- Sometimes there's a physical manifestation

physical sometimes

↓

of spiritual energy--

energy spiritual

↓

a bridge between the spiritual world and ours.

bridge spiritual world

↓

In this case, it appears to be some kind of rectoplasm.

appears case

↓

- Rectoplasm?

↓

- What is it made of?

↓

- It's unbelievable!

unbelievable

↓

The rectoplasm seems to be 54% Filet-O-Fish sandwich!

filet fish sandwich seems

↓

- Oh, my God!

↓

I ate a Filet-O-Fish sandwich last night!

filet fish night sandwich

↓

- Jesus! - And it's also...

jesus

↓

28% Taco Bell.

bell taco taco-bell

↓

- Oh, my God!

↓

I ate Taco Bell this morning!

bell morning taco taco-bell

↓

- What does it mean?

↓

- And it's 14% its own cum.

↓

- Oh, my God! I ate--

↓

[chuckling awkwardly]

awkwardly chuckling

↓

Hey! Pam! Deal with them!

deal

↓

- Two paranormal investigators were indicted today

investigators today

↓

on federal charges of falsifying data.

charges data federal

↓

The president said that the bad people manipulated readings

manipulated president

↓

and reports to make fake news.

fake fake-news news reports

↓

The charges were filed by Attorney General Pam Bondi,

attorney bondi charges filed general

↓

who said that "the President is a great man,

president

↓

even if he does eat his own semen."

semen

↓

In other news,

news

↓

many people are saying that South Park sucks now.

park park-sucks south south-park south-park-sucks sucks

↓

The small mountain town in Colorado

colorado mountain mountain-town town

↓

has been a hotbed of political activity in recent weeks,

activity political recent weeks

↓

and three local Gen Alpha boys

alpha boys local three

↓

are vowing to put a stop to it.

↓

- OK, we're mooning.

mooning

↓

We're mooning...

mooning

↓

All right, that's gotta be it.

↓

OK, we're done mooning. I think we're ready to dump.

dump mooning ready

↓

[train horn blares]

blares horn horn-blares train train-horn

↓

COUSIN KYLE: OK, sounds good.

cousin kyle sounds

↓

I'm on the Acela train right now.

train

↓

I should be in DC by 6:30 to meet with Don Jr.

meet

↓

- I'm out, dude. - Kyle?

kyle

↓

Kyle, wait!

kyle

↓

Dude, you can't quit now.

quit

↓

Do you know how much money we're about to make?

money

↓

- I thought you were sick of the way South Park was going, Stan.

park sick south south-park stan

↓

- I am! - So then why are you trying

↓

to engineer a rug pull

engineer pull

↓

in conjunction with the federal government?

federal government

↓

- Bro, it's the world we live in, OK?

live world

↓

I mean, at least we're being men

least

↓

and taking some control.

control

↓

Look at Kenny, he--he's doing stuff now!

kenny stuff

↓

- [muffled] Yeah, dude, I'm doing stuff!

muffled stuff

↓

- I know it sucks to be living in an old folks home, Stan,

folks home living stan sucks

↓

but you can't fix things

↓

if you're only thinking about yourself.

thinking

↓

[thunder booming]

booming thunder thunder-booming

↓

[heavy knocking]

heavy knocking

↓

[thunder booms]

booms thunder thunder-booms

↓

- Yes?

↓

- Uh, yes, I'm with the South Park Sucks Now cryptocurrency.

park park-sucks south south-park south-park-sucks sucks

↓

We're trying to fuck a bunch of people out of their money.

bunch fuck money

↓

Is Don Jr. around?

↓

- Ah, yes, he's been expecting you.

expecting

↓

Do come in.

↓

[door squeaks]

door squeaks

↓

- Oh, Jesus, it's a little drafty in here.

jesus

↓

- You'll have to excuse the conditions.

conditions excuse

↓

The master has taken down the East Wing and unleashed a wrath.

east east-wing master taken unleashed wing wrath

↓

[eerie moaning]

eerie moaning

↓

[unintelligible groaning]

groaning

↓

- Oh, Jesus! It's a mummy!

jesus mummy

↓

- No, no, that's just the head of the FCC.

head

↓

He's lost his freedom of speech.

freedom lost speech

↓

- [mumbles]

mumbles

↓

- Come. Don Jr. is... this way.

↓

[thunder booms]

booms thunder thunder-booms

↓

[eerie music]

eerie eerie-music music

↓

- Thanks so much for taking my meeting, Don Jr.

meeting thanks

↓

We've got an incredible crypto opportunity here

crypto incredible opportunity

↓

and we just need your help taking a big dump.

dump

↓

- That sounds really great.

sounds

↓

There's nothing I like better than a big crypto dump.

crypto dump

↓

- So sorry I had to bug you this late in the evening,

evening late

↓

but time really is of the essence here.

essence

↓

[door opens]

door door-opens opens

↓

- We need everyone to gather in the dining room.

dining gather room

↓

Immediately.

immediately

↓

- In the dining room? Why?

dining room

↓

- We are going to have a séance.

↓

It's time to confront the spirit here.

confront spirit

↓

- The--the spirit? What spirit?

spirit

↓

[line ringing]

line line-ringing ringing

↓

- [muffled speech]

muffled muffled-speech speech

↓

- Yeah, I can see the price is going down.

price

↓

What the hell is he doing?

↓

- [muffled] He's not answering?

answering muffled

↓

- Dude, what is going on?

↓

Our token's value totally peaked and it's starting to go down.

peaked starting value

↓

Whatever approval you have to get at the White House,

approval house white white-house

↓

God damn it!

↓

- [muffled speech]

muffled muffled-speech speech

↓

- I don't know, Kenny, OK? Shut up already!

kenny

↓

[eerie music]

eerie eerie-music music

↓

♪ ♪

↓

- Oh, Jesus, this is a little creepy.

creepy jesus

↓

Are we having dinner? I'm allergic to dairy.

allergic dairy dinner having having-dinner

↓

- Everyone, please put your hands on the table.

hands table

↓

♪ ♪

↓

I am speaking to the entity in this house.

entity house speaking

↓

- Is this a good time to talk turkey?

turkey

↓

I just need to go over some quick business.

business quick

↓

- We know you are sad.

↓

We know you are...lonely.

lonely

↓

But we must ask you to leave our president alone.

alone must president

↓

♪ ♪

↓

- Oh, my God, this is really scary.

scary

↓

PAM BONDI: The President is a great man,

bondi president

↓

and he does not deserve to be tormented like this.

deserve

↓

- Pam! Pam!

↓

- Oh! Oh.

↓

Restless spirit,

restless spirit

↓

we only wish to communicate!

communicate wish

↓

[thunder booming]

booming thunder thunder-booming

↓

- Holy shit! She's right fucking there!

fucking holy

↓

- What is that?

↓

- [moaning] Deception!

moaning

↓

Deception!

↓

- Boss, maybe we should stop this.

boss

↓

- No! I wanna hear what it has to say.

↓

- [moaning]

moaning

↓

Epstein!

epstein

↓

- Uh, no, no. You're right. Let's stop this.

↓

- You!

↓

[eerie music]

eerie eerie-music music

↓

- What? You?

↓

What did he do?

↓

- He lies!

lies

↓

- Oh, you fucking bitch!

bitch fucking fucking-bitch

↓

- Corruption!

corruption

↓

- She's not possessed!

possessed

↓

Pam Bondi's trying to get my fucking job!

fucking

↓

[thunder booms]

booms thunder thunder-booms

↓

- Oh, I can't do this!

↓

- Lies!

lies

↓

- [muttering]

muttering

↓

- I gotta get out of here!

↓

♪ ♪

↓

[face screaming] - Oh, God!

face screaming

↓

Oh!

↓

♪ ♪

↓

OK! OK! It's all true!

↓

We've been dealing in deception and lies!

dealing lies

↓

We've all been getting filthy rich off of crypto!

crypto filthy rich

↓

Oh, Jesus.

jesus

↓

We've lied and we've cheated.

cheated lied

↓

Crypto's just a giant money laundering scheme

giant money scheme

↓

for the rich to get richer.

rich

↓

Please don't haunt us anymore!

anymore haunt

↓

We're sorry.

↓

We're all very sorry!

↓

Agh! America!

america

↓

- A massive crypto fraud has been exposed at the White House,

crypto exposed fraud house massive white white-house

↓

and the perpetrator has been indicted.

↓

A ghostly wrath that was unleashed in the East Wing

east east-wing unleashed wing wrath

↓

exposed the traitor at a séance last night.

exposed night traitor

↓

The traitor is now behind bars and serving 10 years for fraud.

bars behind fraud serving traitor years

↓

Charges, of course, were once again filed by Pam Bondi,

bondi charges course filed

↓

who said, "We will continue to indict anyone

continue

↓

who says bad stuff about our amazing president."

amazing president stuff

↓

[gentle music]

gentle gentle-music music

↓

♪ ♪

↓

I guess there just no really going back

↓

to the way things used to be.

used

↓

- Things will get back, Stan.

stan

↓

I know it's hard to see right now,

hard

↓

but things will go back to normal.

normal

↓

And in the meantime, we just have to make the most

meantime

↓

of where we are.

↓

- All right, seniors, just move with the rhythm now.

rhythm seniors

↓

♪ ♪

↓

- ♪ If I didn't care ♪

care

↓

NURSE: Good! Good, seniors. Nice!

nurse seniors

↓

- ♪ More than words can say ♪

words

↓

♪ If I didn't care ♪

care

↓

♪ Would I feel this way? ♪

↓

[theme music]

music theme theme-music

↓

♪ ♪