Home » Scrubs » S05E01 — My Intern's Eyes

Scrubs

Season 5, Episode 1 — My Intern's Eyes

Since my apartment's roof collapsed, I was living at a hotel.

#1

⇓

Since my apartment's roof collapsed, I was living at a hotel.

#2

⇓

But that's not the only thing that's changed around here.

#3

⇓

(ROCK MUSIC)

#4

⇓

(ROCK MUSIC)

#5

⇓

Now that I'm an attending, I'm a licensed badass.

#6

⇓

Now that I'm an attending, I'm a licensed badass.

#7

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Elliot actually works at a different hospital.

#8

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Elliot actually works at a different hospital.

#9

⇓

She's trying to lay low at first.

#10

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And Turk and Carla are trying to make a baby.

#11

⇓

Here you go, baby.

#12

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Here you go, baby.

#13

⇓

I know you love foreplay, but I only have five minutes,

#14

⇓

I know you love foreplay, but I only have five minutes,

#15

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so I made you a sandwich.

#16

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That's the sexiest thing I've ever seen.

#17

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That's the sexiest thing I've ever seen.

#18

⇓

- Over here, Turk. - My bad, baby.

#19

⇓

- Over here, Turk. - My bad, baby.

#20

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Yep! Life was different.

#21

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Hey! Did you take my Porsche from the valet?

#22

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Hey! Did you take my Porsche from the valet?

#23

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This didn't feel like my scooter.

#24

⇓

Ow!

#25

⇓

Look, no harm done. Here are your driving glasses,

#26

⇓

Look, no harm done. Here are your driving glasses,

#27

⇓

here's your driving scarf and here your driving gloves.

#28

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here's your driving scarf and here your driving gloves.

#29

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Fine, here's your driving sock.

#30

⇓

Fine, here's your driving sock.

#31

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I didn't care, because now that I'm an attending,

#32

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I'd picked out a whole new look.

#33

⇓

I'd picked out a whole new look.

#34

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- Good morning, colleague.

#35

⇓

- Good morning, colleague.

#36

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- Oh, absolutely not.

#37

⇓

What, Tall, Dark and Scary?

#38

⇓

What, Tall, Dark and Scary?

#39

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I can wear whatever the hell I...

#40

⇓

- What are you doing?

#41

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- This is my new imaginary warning light.

#42

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- This is my new imaginary warning light.

#43

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Whenever it starts blinking, a situation has ten seconds

#44

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to resolve itself

#45

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before I flash white with rage and kill someone.

#46

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One, two, three, four...

#47

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One, two, three, four...

#48

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...seven, eight, nine and ten.

#49

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I had a little trouble getting my Baby Gap T-shirt off.

#50

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I had a little trouble getting my Baby Gap T-shirt off.

#51

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It'll happen.

#52

⇓

Ow.

#53

⇓

Ow.

#54

⇓

Argh!

#55

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OK, you know, I'm gonna... I'm gonna go with "ow."

#56

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OK, you know, I'm gonna... I'm gonna go with "ow."

#57

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How depressing is it being you?

#58

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Seriously.

#59

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Seriously.

#60

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Would you equate it more to being a life long Cub fan,

#61

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or to say, being born without lips?

#62

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- Born without lips? - I know a guy.

#63

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- His house just burned down. - How sad.

#64

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- His house just burned down. - How sad.

#65

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He was smoking in bed. He shouldn't smoke, 'cause he looks ridiculous.

#66

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"I have a snake face."

#67

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Listen, today if you bother me, could you do it without being around me?

#68

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Listen, today if you bother me, could you do it without being around me?

#69

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I have new interns starting. Can you imagine what it's like

#70

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I have new interns starting. Can you imagine what it's like

#71

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to see this place through their eyes for the first time?

#72

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to see this place through their eyes for the first time?

#73

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(INSPIRATIONAL MUSIC)

#74

⇓

(INSPIRATIONAL MUSIC)

#75

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(INSPIRATIONAL MUSIC)

#76

⇓

Something on your shirt, kid. Huh. Oh.

#77

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(laughs) Classic!

#78

⇓

(laughs) Classic!

#79

⇓

Hey...

#80

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Sparky, it's five dollars a minute to stare in public.

#81

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Sparky, it's five dollars a minute to stare in public.

#82

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It's free in private... (PURRS)

#83

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It's free in private... (PURRS)

#84

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You're gonna love it here, sport.

#85

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You're gonna love it here, sport.

#86

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Get out while you still can.

#87

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Seriously, get out while you still can.

#88

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Seriously, get out while you still can.

#89

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Junior, have you seen Johnny?

#90

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Junior, have you seen Johnny?

#91

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You know, Alzheimer's patient, likes to tackle people?

#92

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Uh-uh.

#93

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Uh-uh.

#94

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Has anybody seen Johnny, the tackling Alzheimer's patient?

#95

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Hey! You must be Keith.

#96

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Hey! You must be Keith.

#97

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Don't look so nervous, buddy. I got your back.

#98

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Who am I?

#99

⇓

Who am I?

#100

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I found him.

#101

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I found him.

#102

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(THEME SONG)

#103

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(THEME SONG)

#104

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Someone's close enough for a hair-mussing.

#105

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Someone's close enough for a hair-mussing.

#106

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Dynamite bangs. Hey, guys. Follow me.

#107

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Dynamite bangs. Hey, guys. Follow me.

#108

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Listen, if you're having trouble finding a vein for an IV,

#109

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please don't page me.

#110

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please don't page me.

#111

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If you're desperate, we're lucky. This is a city hospital,

#112

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there are plenty of heroin addicts around

#113

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there are plenty of heroin addicts around

#114

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who are quite adept at this.

#115

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Did you find a vein, there, Reverend Mayhem?

#116

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Did you find a vein, there, Reverend Mayhem?

#117

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- No problem. - ok, Good work, buddy.

#118

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- No problem. - ok, Good work, buddy.

#119

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Stay in school.

#120

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- Mr Kellerman, how're you feeling? - Not great.

#121

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- Mr Kellerman, how're you feeling? - Not great.

#122

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Well, that's probably why you're here!

#123

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Humour is a great icebreaker for patients, OK? Follow me.

#124

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Humour is a great icebreaker for patients, OK? Follow me.

#125

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Mr Kellerman has congestive heart failure.

#126

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Mr Kellerman has congestive heart failure.

#127

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Ok, Lisa, I want you to start him on diuretics, OK?

#128

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Ok, Lisa, I want you to start him on diuretics, OK?

#129

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That way we'll loosen up some of fluid around his lungs.

#130

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The good news is

#131

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he'll go home tomorrow.

#132

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he'll go home tomorrow.

#133

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The bad news is if he's not here,

#134

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he won't move up the heart transplant list.

#135

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he won't move up the heart transplant list.

#136

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See, in medicine, there are lots of Catch-22s,

#137

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See, in medicine, there are lots of Catch-22s,

#138

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a phrase made famous, I believe, by an old fisherman

#139

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who would stay out fishing

#140

⇓

who would stay out fishing

#141

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until he caught... how many fish? Anybody? That's right, 22.

#142

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until he caught... how many fish? Anybody? That's right, 22.

#143

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- See, in 1492, Columbus... - Newbie!

#144

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If you loved the sound of your very own voice any more,

#145

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If you loved the sound of your very own voice any more,

#146

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you would probably just sit in a little room all day

#147

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you would probably just sit in a little room all day

#148

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and sing to yourself.

#149

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Oh, you guys can skedaddle.

#150

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Oh, you guys can skedaddle.

#151

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(Makes stupid noise and laughs)

#152

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I love interns. Gentlemen a reminder:

#153

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I love interns. Gentlemen a reminder:

#154

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As attendings, you are expected to turn in your insurance paperwork

#155

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As attendings, you are expected to turn in your insurance paperwork

#156

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and your required urine sample by tomorrow.

#157

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Bob, I'm not planning on doing any paperwork.

#158

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Bob, I'm not planning on doing any paperwork.

#159

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But I did go ahead and leave my urine

#160

⇓

sample on your driver's-side car door.

#161

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sample on your driver's-side car door.

#162

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Perry, Your lips, my ass, they should meet.

#163

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Dorian, after four years, I can only hope you no longer following

#164

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Dorian, after four years, I can only hope you no longer following

#165

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in his footsteps.

#166

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I turned in my paperwork already, but I'm gonna wait till tomorrow

#167

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I turned in my paperwork already, but I'm gonna wait till tomorrow

#168

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to turn in my urine sample out of respect to the fellas in the lab.

#169

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to turn in my urine sample out of respect to the fellas in the lab.

#170

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There's an asparagus issue.

#171

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There's an asparagus issue.

#172

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Now there's an answer that warrants a half-sincere pat on the shoulder.

#173

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Now there's an answer that warrants a half-sincere pat on the shoulder.

#174

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Thanks, Dr Kelso!

#175

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you know, he said "half-sincere," I think he was full-sincere.

#176

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you know, he said "half-sincere," I think he was full-sincere.

#177

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Feel my shoulder, it's still warm.

#178

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Lindsey, by you reaching the level of attending physician,

#179

⇓

you've somehow managed to become a member of a club that I belong to.

#180

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you've somehow managed to become a member of a club that I belong to.

#181

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Obviously there was no vote. Because if there had been,

#182

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Obviously there was no vote. Because if there had been,

#183

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you would still hear the sound of my voice screaming, "Nay, nay,

#184

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you would still hear the sound of my voice screaming, "Nay, nay,

#185

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oh, dear God, one thousand times nay!"

#186

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oh, dear God, one thousand times nay!"

#187

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That being said, it's my obligation to let you in on the organisation's

#188

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That being said, it's my obligation to let you in on the organisation's

#189

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one and only bylaw:

#190

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one and only bylaw:

#191

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We're men.

#192

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We're men.

#193

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Yes, we are.

#194

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The women are men. The children are men. The men, of course, men!

#195

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The women are men. The children are men. The men, of course, men!

#196

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So, I went ahead and took the liberty of making you five man cards.

#197

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So, I went ahead and took the liberty of making you five man cards.

#198

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Hold them very dear, because every time you drop the ball, man-wise,

#199

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Hold them very dear, because every time you drop the ball, man-wise,

#200

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I'm going to take one from you.

#201

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I'm going to take one from you.

#202

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I don't need your approval or your stupid man cards.

#203

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I don't need your approval or your stupid man cards.

#204

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Although the lettering is darling. Have you ever done calligraphy?

#205

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Although the lettering is darling. Have you ever done calligraphy?

#206

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- Thank you.

#207

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- Damn it!

#208

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That night, since we were low on cash, Turk snuck me into the movies.

#209

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That night, since we were low on cash, Turk snuck me into the movies.

#210

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One, please!

#211

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One, please!

#212

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Afterwards we talked about my living arrangements.

#213

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- Are you sure about this? - You shouldn't stay in a hotel.

#214

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- Are you sure about this? - You shouldn't stay in a hotel.

#215

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So, why don't you just stay here until you find a place.

#216

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Carla was pretty psyched to get rid of me. Are you gonna tell her?

#217

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Carla was pretty psyched to get rid of me. Are you gonna tell her?

#218

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I don't know. What do you think?

#219

⇓

Turk? Is that you?

#220

⇓

Turk? Is that you?

#221

⇓

- Yes. I'll be right in, baby.

#222

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- Yes. I'll be right in, baby.

#223

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- OK.

#224

⇓

Dude, you left your gym shorts in here!

#225

⇓

Look, I gotta sex her up. I'll be back as quick as I can,

#226

⇓

Look, I gotta sex her up. I'll be back as quick as I can,

#227

⇓

so, it'd be about a hour and a half.

#228

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Wait, wait, wait! Could you just quickly scratch my nose?

#229

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OK. OK. Don't zip me... up!

#230

⇓

OK. OK. Don't zip me... up!

#231

⇓

Turk! Turk!

#232

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- I'm a little sick of the Turks. - Excuse me?

#233

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- I'm a little sick of the Turks. - Excuse me?

#234

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Not you, Omar. I love your people.

#235

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I'm talking about their lovey-dovey crap.

#236

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I'm talking about their lovey-dovey crap.

#237

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Oh, Babe, I borrowed your backpack

#238

⇓

this morning and all my change fell out the bottom.

#239

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this morning and all my change fell out the bottom.

#240

⇓

Maybe someone or something had to gnaw a hole in it

#241

⇓

to keep from suffocating.

#242

⇓

Maybe someone already apologised for that about a hundred times.

#243

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Maybe someone already apologised for that about a hundred times.

#244

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Well, maybe 100 wasn't enough, I don't know.

#245

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- Absolutely no lovers' quarrels. - Damn it!

#246

⇓

- Absolutely no lovers' quarrels. - Damn it!

#247

⇓

Elliot, by the way, what are you doing here?

#248

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Elliot, by the way, what are you doing here?

#249

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Oh, she hasn't talked to anybody at her new hospital yet.

#250

⇓

- How did this become about me? - The Turks are sneaky.

#251

⇓

- How did this become about me? - The Turks are sneaky.

#252

⇓

Not you guys. I think Omar took my pudding.

#253

⇓

Hey, Keith! Can I get your pudding?

#254

⇓

Interns.

#255

⇓

Interns.

#256

⇓

Elliot, You should be excited about meeting people over there.

#257

⇓

You could totally reinvent yourself.

#258

⇓

You could totally reinvent yourself.

#259

⇓

You're right!

#260

⇓

I'm gonna tell them I am the most perfect doctor ever

#261

⇓

I'm gonna tell them I am the most perfect doctor ever

#262

⇓

who never needs anyone's help with anything!

#263

⇓

That'll end well. Dude!

#264

⇓

This guy's unbelievable!

#265

⇓

This guy's unbelievable!

#266

⇓

OK guys, for some reason, Mr Kellerman's fluid situation

#267

⇓

OK guys, for some reason, Mr Kellerman's fluid situation

#268

⇓

isn't getting any better. I think he should be more aggressive.

#269

⇓

isn't getting any better. I think he should be more aggressive.

#270

⇓

Keith?

#271

⇓

Why don't you go get a Lasix drip.

#272

⇓

Why don't you go get a Lasix drip.

#273

⇓

Other way, Keith!

#274

⇓

Ahh, Jason, when you're filling out a female patient's exam report,

#275

⇓

Ahh, Jason, when you're filling out a female patient's exam report,

#276

⇓

her breasts can be "healthy" or "unhealthy,"

#277

⇓

never "bangin' double-Ds."

#278

⇓

never "bangin' double-Ds."

#279

⇓

There's so much paperwork.

#280

⇓

There's so much paperwork.

#281

⇓

My dad was a veterinarian, and he never had to do any.

#282

⇓

Sometimes I wish this place were more like a horse hospital.

#283

⇓

Sometimes I wish this place were more like a horse hospital.

#284

⇓

I'm sorry, Mr Larson, but I do not like the look of that leg.

#285

⇓

I'm sorry, Mr Larson, but I do not like the look of that leg.

#286

⇓

We would have better hours.

#287

⇓

All right, gang, get out of here.

#288

⇓

All right, gang, get out of here.

#289

⇓

Hey, everybody? Great work today.

#290

⇓

Hey, everybody? Great work today.

#291

⇓

How do you bother someone without being around them?

#292

⇓

How do you bother someone without being around them?

#293

⇓

That is the question.

#294

⇓

(PHOTOCOPIER WHIRS)

#295

⇓

Dorian, I'm paying you to work, not stand around acting like the Fonz.

#296

⇓

Dorian, I'm paying you to work, not stand around acting like the Fonz.

#297

⇓

Perfect.

#298

⇓

Perfect.

#299

⇓

Being Turk's secret roommate was going great...

#300

⇓

Being Turk's secret roommate was going great...

#301

⇓

(KNOCK AT DOOR) ..until now.

#302

⇓

Turk? I'm leaving for work.

#303

⇓

Turk? I'm leaving for work.

#304

⇓

Ok, You've been working on your Turk impression since college.

#305

⇓

Time to shine!

#306

⇓

Time to shine!

#307

⇓

- Turk? - Baby, I'll be thinking about

#308

⇓

your lovelies and whatnot

#309

⇓

until the second I see you, but right now, I'm doing my business.

#310

⇓

until the second I see you, but right now, I'm doing my business.

#311

⇓

Don't forget to use the Glade!

#312

⇓

Don't forget to use the Glade!

#313

⇓

Dude! That's the best it's ever sounded!

#314

⇓

Dude! That's the best it's ever sounded!

#315

⇓

- I thought she was gone? - Nah, she came back for a quickie.

#316

⇓

All this baby stuff man, I feel like she rushed me into it.

#317

⇓

All this baby stuff man, I feel like she rushed me into it.

#318

⇓

Tell you the truth, I'm not even sure I'm ready.

#319

⇓

Tell you the truth, I'm not even sure I'm ready.

#320

⇓

Well, you better get ready, she's been off the pill for like a week.

#321

⇓

What have you done?

#322

⇓

Think she'll be mad?

#323

⇓

Dr Reid? Need some help?

#324

⇓

Dr Reid? Need some help?

#325

⇓

I don't need anyone's help. Thank you.

#326

⇓

Stop running!

#327

⇓

Stop running!

#328

⇓

Doctor, do you know where the Foley caths are?

#329

⇓

Doctor, do you know where the Foley caths are?

#330

⇓

Sir, I know where everything is.

#331

⇓

Be right back.

#332

⇓

Be right back.

#333

⇓

Stupid coffee robot!

#334

⇓

Stupid coffee robot!

#335

⇓

Frick!

#336

⇓

Don't sweat it kid. I used to hide here when I worked at this place.

#337

⇓

I'm on a fellowship now. Foley cath, please.

#338

⇓

I'm on a fellowship now. Foley cath, please.

#339

⇓

Thanks.

#340

⇓

Thanks. Could you also grab a number six needle?

#341

⇓

Thanks. Could you also grab a number six needle?

#342

⇓

Frick fricky frick frick!

#343

⇓

Nice ass, grandma!

#344

⇓

Nice ass, grandma!

#345

⇓

(screams)

#346

⇓

(screams)

#347

⇓

That screaming patient would have to wait. I had bigger problems.

#348

⇓

That screaming patient would have to wait. I had bigger problems.

#349

⇓

Hey, Keith! I just called upstairs to see how Mr Kellerman was doing.

#350

⇓

Hey, Keith! I just called upstairs to see how Mr Kellerman was doing.

#351

⇓

And get this: The nurse told me you never even started him

#352

⇓

And get this: The nurse told me you never even started him

#353

⇓

on a Lasix drip.

#354

⇓

And Lisa! Imagine my surprise when she told me you never even increased

#355

⇓

And Lisa! Imagine my surprise when she told me you never even increased

#356

⇓

his diuretic in the first place! I'm forced to ask,

#357

⇓

his diuretic in the first place! I'm forced to ask,

#358

⇓

are you people trained killers?

#359

⇓

Say something, Keith!

#360

⇓

Say something, Keith!

#361

⇓

I...

#362

⇓

Dr Dorian, if he gets bad enough do we have to put him on inotropes,

#363

⇓

Dr Dorian, if he gets bad enough do we have to put him on inotropes,

#364

⇓

he'll jump to the top of the transplant list and get a new heart.

#365

⇓

he'll jump to the top of the transplant list and get a new heart.

#366

⇓

They're messing up on purpose?

#367

⇓

They're messing up on purpose?

#368

⇓

Who told you guys to do this?

#369

⇓

There's a lot of ways to get caught.

#370

⇓

There's a lot of ways to get caught.

#371

⇓

Sometimes you get caught because

#372

⇓

you couldn't slip your wife her pill last night,

#373

⇓

you couldn't slip your wife her pill last night,

#374

⇓

so you had to feed her one of your special homemade brownies.

#375

⇓

so you had to feed her one of your special homemade brownies.

#376

⇓

- What's that? - Oh, that?

#377

⇓

That's a tiny marshmallow with writing on it.

#378

⇓

That's a tiny marshmallow with writing on it.

#379

⇓

Still, if you don't panic, you can get away with it.

#380

⇓

Just... doing some inventory... sir.

#381

⇓

Just... doing some inventory... sir.

#382

⇓

That's why I'm glad you work here, sweetheart.

#383

⇓

Come on, guys. Who put you up to this?

#384

⇓

As for me, I caught my culprit

#385

⇓

As for me, I caught my culprit

#386

⇓

because he made the classic mistake

#387

⇓

of returning to the scene of the crime.

#388

⇓

of returning to the scene of the crime.

#389

⇓

All because I, too,

#390

⇓

had been eating Turk's special homemade brownies.

#391

⇓

had been eating Turk's special homemade brownies.

#392

⇓

Angie, my buddy down in the lab just told me that your urinalysis

#393

⇓

Angie, my buddy down in the lab just told me that your urinalysis

#394

⇓

came back positive for the birth control pill.

#395

⇓

So, I will be taking one of... these.

#396

⇓

So, I will be taking one of... these.

#397

⇓

- Thank you! - Damn it!

#398

⇓

- Thank you! - Damn it!

#399

⇓

Keith, look at me.

#400

⇓

Keith, look at me.

#401

⇓

Did he specifically tell you to disregard my orders?

#402

⇓

Oh, what the hell.

#403

⇓

I was doing this and mouthing "I'll kill you,"

#404

⇓

I was doing this and mouthing "I'll kill you,"

#405

⇓

which I will if you don't get out of here. Go on, get.

#406

⇓

which I will if you don't get out of here. Go on, get.

#407

⇓

I saw it first.

#408

⇓

I saw it first.

#409

⇓

Long day.

#410

⇓

Long day.

#411

⇓

Newbie, I did tell them to ignore you and let Mr Kellerman get worse.

#412

⇓

And you wanna know something?

#413

⇓

And you wanna know something?

#414

⇓

I'd do it again.

#415

⇓

- Bye, Elliot. - Look...

#416

⇓

I know, I agreed to have a baby, but you were offering sex at the time.

#418

⇓

I would have agreed to anything!

#419

⇓

I would have agreed to anything!

#420

⇓

Carla, no.

#421

⇓

No! She knows I can't eat without my strawberry milk.

#422

⇓

No! She knows I can't eat without my strawberry milk.

#423

⇓

You should've let her fork me!

#424

⇓

You should've let her fork me!

#425

⇓

I think that's how you got into trouble

#426

⇓

in the first place! What's up!

#427

⇓

in the first place! What's up!

#428

⇓

Euphemism five!

#429

⇓

His vocabulary's gotten so much better!

#430

⇓

His vocabulary's gotten so much better!

#431

⇓

- Elliot Why are you here?

#432

⇓

- I have to make Kelso think I still work here

#433

⇓

- I have to make Kelso think I still work here

#434

⇓

so he doesn't have me arrested

#435

⇓

for stealing medical supplies.

#436

⇓

By the by, what would you have done if you couldn't give Carla the pill?

#437

⇓

By the by, what would you have done if you couldn't give Carla the pill?

#438

⇓

- I'd have faked it.

#439

⇓

- I'd have faked it.

#440

⇓

- Guys can't fake it.

#441

⇓

Really? Does this sound familiar?

#442

⇓

"Oh, oh baby, we're going all night. No, wait, don't move!

#443

⇓

"Oh, oh baby, we're going all night. No, wait, don't move!

#444

⇓

- "Sorry."

#445

⇓

- "Sorry."

#446

⇓

- Way too familiar.

#447

⇓

- Hey. - Thank you.

#448

⇓

Know what I've been doing?

#449

⇓

I mean, besides listening to my Alanis Morissette CD

#450

⇓

to get pumped up to talk to you? Here.

#451

⇓

to get pumped up to talk to you? Here.

#452

⇓

- Yep. - I've been thinking about

#453

⇓

how completely ridiculous it is that you would take Mr Kellerman's

#454

⇓

how completely ridiculous it is that you would take Mr Kellerman's

#455

⇓

life into your hands

#456

⇓

- without talking to him. - Well, I did talk to him.

#457

⇓

- without talking to him. - Well, I did talk to him.

#458

⇓

He did.

#459

⇓

Patients who stay low on the heart transplant list die waiting for one.

#460

⇓

Patients who stay low on the heart transplant list die waiting for one.

#461

⇓

This way, he moves up to the top of the list. Come on..

#462

⇓

- Then why didn't you tell me?

#463

⇓

- Because You're an attending now.

#464

⇓

And that doesn't just mean a fat bank account, expensive new toys

#465

⇓

And that doesn't just mean a fat bank account, expensive new toys

#466

⇓

and a fancy lawyer on retainer for when you kill a prostitute.

#467

⇓

and a fancy lawyer on retainer for when you kill a prostitute.

#468

⇓

From now on, the buck stops with you.

#469

⇓

And I know that you have occasionally bent the rules in this dump

#470

⇓

And I know that you have occasionally bent the rules in this dump

#471

⇓

over the last couple of years but, you only did it because you knew

#472

⇓

over the last couple of years but, you only did it because you knew

#473

⇓

when the crap started raining down,

#474

⇓

it was damn sure gonna fall on my head.

#475

⇓

it was damn sure gonna fall on my head.

#476

⇓

But now, the only way for you to stay out of the trouble storm

#477

⇓

is for you to go by the book. And I got news for you on that front:

#478

⇓

is for you to go by the book. And I got news for you on that front:

#479

⇓

By-the-book attendings kill us up here.

#480

⇓

By-the-book attendings kill us up here.

#481

⇓

Look here, I couldn't tell you about Kellerman 'cause I don't know

#482

⇓

Look here, I couldn't tell you about Kellerman 'cause I don't know

#483

⇓

what type of attending you're gonna be.

#484

⇓

Allow me to thank you for giving me the opportunity to prove myself.

#485

⇓

Allow me to thank you for giving me the opportunity to prove myself.

#486

⇓

You know what? This is my last one. Here, take it.

#487

⇓

You know what? This is my last one. Here, take it.

#488

⇓

Whatever happens to this poor guy is on you.

#489

⇓

Whatever happens to this poor guy is on you.

#490

⇓

The next morning was not good.

#491

⇓

Carla was not talking to Turk,

#492

⇓

Carla was not talking to Turk,

#493

⇓

Elliot had dropped by to help not talk to Turk

#494

⇓

and I was sneaking out in my undies

#495

⇓

and I was sneaking out in my undies

#496

⇓

because my clothes were downstairs in the dryer.

#497

⇓

because my clothes were downstairs in the dryer.

#498

⇓

- J. D? - Morning, friends!

#499

⇓

Who's ready for some java?

#500

⇓

- Are you wearing boxers? - Yes, I am, Carla,

#501

⇓

because I know when Turk's sad, he likes me to come over in my boxers,

#502

⇓

because I know when Turk's sad, he likes me to come over in my boxers,

#503

⇓

because he likes to call me his "honky Adonis."

#504

⇓

because he likes to call me his "honky Adonis."

#505

⇓

And that's what friends do.

#506

⇓

They bought it? Are we that gay?

#507

⇓

They bought it? Are we that gay?

#508

⇓

- What's that? - Oh, that's my new driving sock.

#509

⇓

- What's that? - Oh, that's my new driving sock.

#510

⇓

You can borrow.

#511

⇓

Actually, J.D.'s been living here secretly.

#512

⇓

- Turk, why? - Because I Gotta those damn

#513

⇓

- Turk, why? - Because I Gotta those damn

#514

⇓

judgmental eyes off me!

#515

⇓

J.D. Didn't want to live here, I begged him.

#516

⇓

J.D. Didn't want to live here, I begged him.

#517

⇓

- Is that true? - I didn't say that.

#518

⇓

- J.D. Can do my voice. - Hey, It's getting good!

#519

⇓

- J.D. Can do my voice. - Hey, It's getting good!

#520

⇓

Well, thank you! I lost it.

#521

⇓

Oh, you three are ridiculous.

#522

⇓

Oh, you three are ridiculous.

#523

⇓

Hey, I'm just here to grab a ride to work.

#524

⇓

At a hospital where you don't actually work! And you?

#525

⇓

At a hospital where you don't actually work! And you?

#526

⇓

How am I supposed to tell you I'm not be ready to have a baby

#527

⇓

How am I supposed to tell you I'm not be ready to have a baby

#528

⇓

when you're so excited?

#529

⇓

And you secretly moving back in here?

#530

⇓

And you secretly moving back in here?

#531

⇓

Now, I really don't love being den mother to you three...

#532

⇓

Now, I really don't love being den mother to you three...

#533

⇓

Fine, It's like crack to me.

#534

⇓

Still, let me ask you something. Why are you three so afraid of moving on?

#535

⇓

Still, let me ask you something. Why are you three so afraid of moving on?

#536

⇓

Dude, you're still eating those brownies!

#537

⇓

I don't wanna get pregnant! Shoot.

#538

⇓

I don't wanna get pregnant! Shoot.

#539

⇓

So, you're going to the university for a transplant!

#540

⇓

So, you're going to the university for a transplant!

#541

⇓

Well, come back and see us, OK?

#542

⇓

Well, come back and see us, OK?

#543

⇓

Who the hell is responsible for not treating that man?

#544

⇓

Well, Bobbo I was going to treat him, but I lost my stethoscope,

#545

⇓

Well, Bobbo I was going to treat him, but I lost my stethoscope,

#546

⇓

and that's...

#547

⇓

He's my patient, Bob!

#548

⇓

He's my patient, Bob!

#549

⇓

I'm responsible.

#550

⇓

Dr Dorian, I have kept my mouth shut

#551

⇓

about all the recent sexual harassment complaints

#552

⇓

about all the recent sexual harassment complaints

#553

⇓

because I don't think it's fair to punish a man for making small talk,

#554

⇓

because I don't think it's fair to punish a man for making small talk,

#555

⇓

or, say, asking his secretary just once to dress up as a geisha girl

#556

⇓

or, say, asking his secretary just once to dress up as a geisha girl

#557

⇓

- and call him Kelso-san... - What?

#558

⇓

Nothing. But now I need to know,

#559

⇓

Nothing. But now I need to know,

#560

⇓

is this the type of attending you're going to be?

#561

⇓

is this the type of attending you're going to be?

#562

⇓

- I guess so.

#563

⇓

- Anything else?

#564

⇓

- Anything else?

#565

⇓

I could tell him there's nothing in my cup and I'm pretending to drink

#566

⇓

to seem nonchalant... No.

#567

⇓

to seem nonchalant... No.

#568

⇓

... but I was thinking about what Carla said about moving on.

#569

⇓

... but I was thinking about what Carla said about moving on.

#570

⇓

And I wasn't the only one.

#571

⇓

Well, at least there's one attending around here I can count on.

#572

⇓

Well, at least there's one attending around here I can count on.

#573

⇓

Ahh, The hell with it, Bob. I don't work here! Have a good one.

#574

⇓

Ahh, The hell with it, Bob. I don't work here! Have a good one.

#575

⇓

- I hate this place.

#576

⇓

- It hates you, Bob.

#577

⇓

- It hates you, Bob.

#578

⇓

That's it. All my birth control pills are gone.

#579

⇓

That's it. All my birth control pills are gone.

#580

⇓

Not exactly.

#581

⇓

That Fig Newton you're about to eat

#582

⇓

is not only fat-free, but it's baby-free.

#583

⇓

is not only fat-free, but it's baby-free.

#584

⇓

I just don't get it, Turk.

#585

⇓

I just don't get it, Turk.

#586

⇓

Look, we had sex 20 times in eight days,

#587

⇓

and I bet it's because you sensed my hesitance.

#588

⇓

and I bet it's because you sensed my hesitance.

#589

⇓

- I just want a baby so badly.

#590

⇓

- Why?

#591

⇓

What's it gonna be like having a baby?

#592

⇓

Dr Cox says it's like having a dog that slowly learns how to talk.

#593

⇓

Dr Cox says it's like having a dog that slowly learns how to talk.

#594

⇓

Awesome!

#595

⇓

Right? And I come from a big family, and I love that.

#596

⇓

Right? And I come from a big family, and I love that.

#597

⇓

Me too!

#598

⇓

And every time we sit at the kitchen table, I feel like someone's missing.

#599

⇓

And every time we sit at the kitchen table, I feel like someone's missing.

#600

⇓

I can see him.

#601

⇓

- J.D! - Gotta make a quick twosie.

#602

⇓

- J.D! - Gotta make a quick twosie.

#603

⇓

This explains a lot.

#604

⇓

Hey! Meet your volleyball team.

#605

⇓

They're terrible.

#606

⇓

They're terrible.

#607

⇓

Newbie! I heard your voice.

#608

⇓

(MOUTHS WORDS)

#609

⇓

(MOUTHS WORDS)

#610

⇓

Thanks for nothin', ass-face.

#611

⇓

Thanks for nothin', ass-face.

#612

⇓

I'm gonna go ahead

#613

⇓

and give you back one of these man cards.

#614

⇓

and give you back one of these man cards.

#615

⇓

You deserve it.

#616

⇓

Wow. Wanna hug?

#617

⇓

You held on to it as long as you could.

#618

⇓

You held on to it as long as you could.

#619

⇓

I'm gonna have a good year, aren't I?

#620

⇓

Anything can happen.

#621

⇓

Anything can happen.

#622

⇓

And I knew he was right...

#623

⇓

Excuse me. (SCREAMS)

#624

⇓

Excuse me. (SCREAMS)

#625

⇓

... for all of us.

#626

⇓

... for all of us.

#627

⇓

Dr Reid, are you joining us for lunch today?

#628

⇓

Dr Reid, are you joining us for lunch today?

#629

⇓

Anyone want half a tofu-cheese sandwich?

#630

⇓

Anyone want half a tofu-cheese sandwich?

#631

⇓

Repeat after me:

#632

⇓

Repeat after me:

#633

⇓

Boy, boy, boy, very tall boy.

#634

⇓

Boy, boy, boy, very tall boy.

#635

⇓

- Boy, boy... - Boy, boy...

#636

⇓

...very tall boy. ...very tall boy.

#637

⇓

...very tall boy. ...very tall boy.

#638

⇓

Good night, Keith.

#639

⇓

Hey, keep your head up, you're doing a good job.

#640

⇓

Hey, keep your head up, you're doing a good job.

#641

⇓

Thanks for everything, Dr Dorian.

#642

⇓

Thanks for everything, Dr Dorian.

#643

⇓

Who am I?

#644

⇓

Captions edited by Ai-media ai-media.tv

#645

⇓

Captions edited by Ai-media ai-media.tv

#646

⇓