Home » Scrubs » S04E25 — My Changing Ways

Scrubs

Season 4, Episode 25 — My Changing Ways

(THINKING) SO HERE I AM...

#1

⇓

SITTING ON A BOX

#2

⇓

SITTING ON A BOX

#3

⇓

IN AN EMPTY APARTMENT

#4

⇓

WITH A DEAD DOG

#5

⇓

WITH A DEAD DOG

#6

⇓

AND A SINGLE TEAR ON MY CHEEK.

#7

⇓

I CAN'T HELP BUT WONDER HOW I GOT TO THIS PLACE.

#8

⇓

I CAN'T HELP BUT WONDER HOW I GOT TO THIS PLACE.

#9

⇓

WHO ARE THESE GUYS?

#10

⇓

WHO ARE THESE GUYS?

#11

⇓

THESE ARE THE LAST 8 GUYS IN THE HOSPITAL

#12

⇓

WHO DON'T REALIZE I SUCK AT BASKETBALL.

#13

⇓

WHO DON'T REALIZE I SUCK AT BASKETBALL.

#14

⇓

OK, SO HERE'S WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN.

#15

⇓

I FINALLY MASTERED MY RUNNING HOOK SHOT, OK?

#16

⇓

I FINALLY MASTERED MY RUNNING HOOK SHOT, OK?

#17

⇓

SO WHEN WE GO TO PICK TEAMS,

#18

⇓

I'M GONNA HIT THAT SHOT.

#19

⇓

THEN YOU SAY, "I'LL TAKE THAT GUY."

#20

⇓

THEN YOU SAY, "I'LL TAKE THAT GUY."

#21

⇓

AT WHICH POINT, CARLA IS GONNA PAGE ME,

#22

⇓

AT WHICH POINT, CARLA IS GONNA PAGE ME,

#23

⇓

AND I'LL SAY, "CRAP, I GOTTA GO. "

#24

⇓

AND YOU GO, "DAMN, WE JUST LOST THE BEST PLAYER OUT HERE."

#25

⇓

AND YOU GO, "DAMN, WE JUST LOST THE BEST PLAYER OUT HERE."

#26

⇓

THEN THERE'LL BE 8 GUYS IN THE HOSPITAL

#27

⇓

THEN THERE'LL BE 8 GUYS IN THE HOSPITAL

#28

⇓

WHO THINK I'M GOOD AT SPORTS

#29

⇓

AND THE WORD WILL SPREAD.

#30

⇓

WHEN DO YOU FIND TIME TO SEE YOUR PATIENTS?

#31

⇓

WHEN DO YOU FIND TIME TO SEE YOUR PATIENTS?

#32

⇓

BETWEEN THESE THOUGHTS.

#33

⇓

OH. OK.

#34

⇓

OH. OK.

#35

⇓

LET'S PLAY SOME BALL.

#36

⇓

I GOT THAT GUY.

#37

⇓

I GOT THAT GUY.

#38

⇓

(BEEPING)

#39

⇓

J.D.: ELLIOT'S BOYFRIEND JAKE HAD GIVEN HER CONFIDENCE

#40

⇓

J.D.: ELLIOT'S BOYFRIEND JAKE HAD GIVEN HER CONFIDENCE

#41

⇓

TO DO THINGS SHE'D NEVER BEEN ABLE TO DO BEFORE.

#42

⇓

OK, YOU READY TO DO THIS?

#43

⇓

OK, YOU READY TO DO THIS?

#44

⇓

YOU KNOW IT.

#45

⇓

LIKE TALKING TO PEOPLE WHILE SHE'S ON THE TOILET.

#46

⇓

LIKE TALKING TO PEOPLE WHILE SHE'S ON THE TOILET.

#47

⇓

OK. I KNOW HOW COMFORTABLE YOU ARE WITH CARLA,

#48

⇓

SO I'M GONNA HAVE HER DO THE TALKING, ALL RIGHT?

#49

⇓

SO I'M GONNA HAVE HER DO THE TALKING, ALL RIGHT?

#50

⇓

YOU JUST SAY WHEN.

#51

⇓

ELLIOT: THERE'S CHEEKS ON THE SEAT

#52

⇓

ELLIOT: THERE'S CHEEKS ON THE SEAT

#53

⇓

AND I'M FEELING GOOD.

#54

⇓

LET'S HEAR IT.

#55

⇓

HELLO, ELLIOT.

#56

⇓

HELLO, ELLIOT.

#57

⇓

HOW ARE YOU DOING?

#58

⇓

(GLASS BREAKING)

#59

⇓

SHE WENT OUT THE WINDOW.

#60

⇓

SHE WENT OUT THE WINDOW.

#61

⇓

OH, BOB KELSO HERE BEFORE NOON?

#62

⇓

OH, BOB KELSO HERE BEFORE NOON?

#63

⇓

THEY'RE EITHER GIVING AWAY FREE DOUGHNUTS AT THE CAFE

#64

⇓

THEY'RE EITHER GIVING AWAY FREE DOUGHNUTS AT THE CAFE

#65

⇓

OR THERE'S AN ASIAN PROSTITUTE CONVENTION IN THE I.C.U.

#66

⇓

IS NOW THE TIME I'M SUPPOSED TO BE EMBARRASSED

#67

⇓

IS NOW THE TIME I'M SUPPOSED TO BE EMBARRASSED

#68

⇓

BECAUSE I LIKE FINE FOOD AND KOREAN CALL GIRLS?

#69

⇓

BECAUSE I LIKE FINE FOOD AND KOREAN CALL GIRLS?

#70

⇓

WRITE THIS DOWN, PERRY: I'M OLD AND I HONESTLY DON'T CARE

#71

⇓

WHAT PEOPLE THINK ABOUT ANYTHING I DO.

#72

⇓

WHAT PEOPLE THINK ABOUT ANYTHING I DO.

#73

⇓

(FARTS)

#74

⇓

THAT WAS ME, FOLKS.

#75

⇓

NO, I'M HERE BECAUSE THE BUDGET'S A MESS.

#76

⇓

NO, I'M HERE BECAUSE THE BUDGET'S A MESS.

#77

⇓

TED'S NOT MAKING MUCH HEADWAY.

#78

⇓

TED'S NOT MAKING MUCH HEADWAY.

#79

⇓

312 X 481 EQUALS...

#80

⇓

312 X 481 EQUALS...

#81

⇓

SIR, IT'S NOT GIVING ME THE ANSWER.

#82

⇓

SIR, IT'S NOT GIVING ME THE ANSWER.

#83

⇓

IT'S A TYPEWRITER, YOU JACKASS!

#84

⇓

OH, GOD, IT'S GOT MY TIE!

#85

⇓

OH, GOD, IT'S GOT MY TIE!

#86

⇓

(THUD)

#87

⇓

(THUD)

#88

⇓

BOB, THIS WHOLE THING IS ONLY GONNA TAKE A COUPLE OF DAYS,

#89

⇓

SO WHY NOT LET JORDAN DO IT?

#90

⇓

SO WHY NOT LET JORDAN DO IT?

#91

⇓

YES, SHE IS A MEMBER OF THE BOARD,

#92

⇓

BUT, HELL, THAT ONLY GETS HER OUT OF THE HOUSE

#93

⇓

BUT, HELL, THAT ONLY GETS HER OUT OF THE HOUSE

#94

⇓

ONCE EVERY COUPLE OF MONTHS OR SO.

#95

⇓

AND I KNOW SHE LOVES OUR SON JACK WITH ALL HER HEART,

#96

⇓

AND I KNOW SHE LOVES OUR SON JACK WITH ALL HER HEART,

#97

⇓

BUT I THINK SPENDING EVERY WAKING MOMENT WITH THE CHILD,

#98

⇓

BUT I THINK SPENDING EVERY WAKING MOMENT WITH THE CHILD,

#99

⇓

I THINK--I THINK IT'S STARTING TO GET TO HER.

#100

⇓

I THINK--I THINK IT'S STARTING TO GET TO HER.

#101

⇓

I HATE YOU.

#102

⇓

SO, WHAT DO YOU SAY THERE, BOB-O?

#103

⇓

SO, WHAT DO YOU SAY THERE, BOB-O?

#104

⇓

WELCOME ABOARD.

#105

⇓

THIS WILL BE YOUR OFFICE FOR THE NEXT FEW DAYS.

#106

⇓

THIS WILL BE YOUR OFFICE FOR THE NEXT FEW DAYS.

#107

⇓

TED, FIND SOMEPLACE ELSE TO WORK.

#108

⇓

OH, MAN! NOT AGAIN!

#109

⇓

OH, MAN! NOT AGAIN!

#110

⇓

IF YOU NEED SOME HAPPY PILLS,

#111

⇓

THEY'RE IN THE TOP DRAWER.

#112

⇓

THEY'RE IN THE TOP DRAWER.

#113

⇓

IN THIS HELLHOLE, I'LL NEED A GUN.

#114

⇓

BOTTOM LEFT.

#115

⇓

BOTTOM LEFT.

#116

⇓

YO, CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION?

#117

⇓

YO, CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION?

#118

⇓

YEAH.

#119

⇓

WHY ARE WE LYING IN THE PARKING LOT?

#120

⇓

(SIREN)

#121

⇓

(SIREN)

#122

⇓

YOUR HOOK SHOT KNOCKED YOU UNCONSCIOUS,

#123

⇓

YOUR HOOK SHOT KNOCKED YOU UNCONSCIOUS,

#124

⇓

SO I LIED DOWN NEXT TO YOU

#125

⇓

SO EVERYONE WOULD THINK WE WERE CHILLIN'.

#126

⇓

OH, THANKS, S.C.B.

#127

⇓

BY THE WAY, I SHOULD TELL YOU SOMETHING.

#128

⇓

BY THE WAY, I SHOULD TELL YOU SOMETHING.

#129

⇓

I FOUND AN APARTMENT.

#130

⇓

I'M MOVING OUT THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW.

#131

⇓

I'M MOVING OUT THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW.

#132

⇓

WOW.

#133

⇓

YEAH.

#134

⇓

WHAT DOES S.C.B. MEAN?

#135

⇓

WHAT DOES S.C.B. MEAN?

#136

⇓

SUPER CHOCOLATE BEAR.

#137

⇓

SUPER CHOCOLATE BEAR.

#138

⇓

I LOVE IT.

#139

⇓

I KNEW YOU WOULD.

#140

⇓

I KNEW YOU WOULD.

#141

⇓

# I CAN'T DO THIS ALL ON MY OWN #

#142

⇓

# NO, I KNOW #

#143

⇓

# NO, I KNOW #

#144

⇓

# I'M NO SUPERMAN #

#145

⇓

SOMEONE STOLE A WHOLE CASE OF LAXATIVES

#146

⇓

FROM THE SUPPLY CLOSET.

#147

⇓

DON'T LOOK AT ME.

#148

⇓

DON'T LOOK AT ME.

#149

⇓

I'M AS REGULAR AS RAIN.

#150

⇓

WHO WANTS A PIECE OF PIE?

#151

⇓

WHO MADE IT?

#152

⇓

WHO MADE IT?

#153

⇓

LET'S SAY MY MOM.

#154

⇓

(THINKING) AS A DOCTOR, YOU GET GOOD AT PIECING THINGS TOGETHER.

#155

⇓

(THINKING) AS A DOCTOR, YOU GET GOOD AT PIECING THINGS TOGETHER.

#156

⇓

SOMEONE STOLE A CASEOF LAXATIVES. WHO WANTS A PIECE OF PIE?

#157

⇓

SOMEONE STOLE A CASEOF LAXATIVES. WHO WANTS A PIECE OF PIE?

#158

⇓

THIS ONE WAS OBVIOUS.

#159

⇓

NO, THANK YOU.

#160

⇓

FREE PIE? HELL, YEAH.

#161

⇓

OHH.

#162

⇓

OHH.

#163

⇓

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU TWO HAVE LIVED TOGETHER FOR 12 YEARS.

#164

⇓

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU TWO HAVE LIVED TOGETHER FOR 12 YEARS.

#165

⇓

DO YOU REMEMBER OUR FIRST DAY TOGETHER?

#166

⇓

YO, THEY CALL ME CHRIS ONE.

#167

⇓

WHAT'S THE DEALIO?

#168

⇓

WHAT'S THE DEALIO?

#169

⇓

WELCOME TO OUR LAIR.

#170

⇓

I'M AN EIGHTH-LEVEL OGRE MAGI

#171

⇓

WITH INVISIBILITY,

#172

⇓

AND THIS IS RANDAL.

#173

⇓

YOU WERE SUCH A DORK. HA HA HA HA!

#174

⇓

YOU WERE SUCH A DORK. HA HA HA HA!

#175

⇓

I'M GLAD NOTHING ELSE AROUND HERE'S CHANGING.

#176

⇓

I'M GLAD NOTHING ELSE AROUND HERE'S CHANGING.

#177

⇓

THIS IS THE TIME OF YEAR WHERE EVERYBODY LEAVES FOR NEW JOBS,

#178

⇓

BUT TURK'S GOT ANOTHER YEAR OF RESIDENCY.

#179

⇓

BUT TURK'S GOT ANOTHER YEAR OF RESIDENCY.

#180

⇓

YEAH, AND J.D. AND I JUST TOOK POSITIONS HERE AS STAFF INTERNISTS.

#181

⇓

YEAH, AND J.D. AND I JUST TOOK POSITIONS HERE AS STAFF INTERNISTS.

#182

⇓

WAS THAT WHAT YOU WANTED TO DO?

#183

⇓

THERE WAS AN ENDOCRINOLOGY FELLOWSHIP

#184

⇓

WITH THIS AMAZING DOCTOR OVER AT COUNTY,

#185

⇓

WITH THIS AMAZING DOCTOR OVER AT COUNTY,

#186

⇓

BUT IT'S A LITTLE OVER MY HEAD.

#187

⇓

SO YOU TOOK A FALLBACK JOB

#188

⇓

'CAUSE YOU WERE AFRAID TO GO FOR IT?

#189

⇓

'CAUSE YOU WERE AFRAID TO GO FOR IT?

#190

⇓

UH, JAKE, IS IT?

#191

⇓

UH, JAKE, IS IT?

#192

⇓

YEAH, IT'S--

#193

⇓

I KNOW YOUR NAME, JAKE. I'M BEING CONDESCENDING.

#194

⇓

IT'S JAKE, RIGHT?

#195

⇓

IT'S JAKE, RIGHT?

#196

⇓

LOOK, NO ONE HERE IS SETTLING.

#197

⇓

HERE AT SACRED HEART, YOU GET TO WORK

#198

⇓

HERE AT SACRED HEART, YOU GET TO WORK

#199

⇓

WITH SOME OF THE FINEST DOCTORS IN THE COUNTRY.

#200

⇓

OUT OF MY WAY!

#201

⇓

I GOT A DOOZY OF A TWO-SIE!

#202

⇓

I GOT A DOOZY OF A TWO-SIE!

#203

⇓

ALL RIGHT, THEN.

#204

⇓

ALL RIGHT, THEN.

#205

⇓

BEFORE WE JUMP INTO ROUNDS,

#206

⇓

I SEE IT'S TIME FOR MY ANNUAL COLOGNE INTERVENTION.

#207

⇓

I SEE IT'S TIME FOR MY ANNUAL COLOGNE INTERVENTION.

#208

⇓

LONNIE, YOU'RE KILLING US.

#209

⇓

AND HONESTLY, WHAT'S THE POINT?

#210

⇓

AND HONESTLY, WHAT'S THE POINT?

#211

⇓

DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT NO MATTER HOW BADLY

#212

⇓

YOU WANT TO GET FREAKY WITH KAREN HERE,

#213

⇓

THAT'S JUST NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.

#214

⇓

AND HERE'S WHY:

#215

⇓

SHE THINKS YOU HAVE THE BODY OF A FETUS.

#216

⇓

SHE THINKS YOU HAVE THE BODY OF A FETUS.

#217

⇓

OH, KAREN, DID YOU TELL ME THAT IN CONFIDENCE?

#218

⇓

OH, KAREN, DID YOU TELL ME THAT IN CONFIDENCE?

#219

⇓

NO, HE KNOWS.

#220

⇓

SHE DREW ME A PICTURE.

#221

⇓

DON'T SWEAT IT TOO MUCH, KID.

#222

⇓

DON'T SWEAT IT TOO MUCH, KID.

#223

⇓

HE WORE SO MUCH COLOGNE ON OUR FIRST DATE,

#224

⇓

I HAD TO SELL MY MIATA.

#225

⇓

I HAD TO SELL MY MIATA.

#226

⇓

WHY?

#227

⇓

FOR FUNSIES.

#228

⇓

(WHISTLES) HEEL.

#229

⇓

(WHISTLES) HEEL.

#230

⇓

THANK YOU FOR THAT.

#231

⇓

KEEP MOVING, FETUS-FACE.

#232

⇓

COME HERE, BOY! COME ON, ROWDY!

#233

⇓

COME HERE, BOY! COME ON, ROWDY!

#234

⇓

NO, YOU COME HERE, EAT YOUR STEAK!

#235

⇓

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

#236

⇓

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

#237

⇓

WELL, WHOEVER ROWDY GOES TO FIRST,

#238

⇓

HE GETS TO KEEP HIM.

#239

⇓

ROWDY, IF YOU COME TO ME,

#240

⇓

ROWDY, IF YOU COME TO ME,

#241

⇓

I'LL SCRATCH YOUR SPECIAL REGION.

#242

⇓

SO YOU MOVED BACK ALL THE FURNITURE

#243

⇓

SO YOU MOVED BACK ALL THE FURNITURE

#244

⇓

AND DEFROSTED OUR DINNER WITH YOUR SWEATY HANDS

#245

⇓

FOR A JOKE?

#246

⇓

YEAH, WE DID.

#247

⇓

YEAH, WE DID.

#248

⇓

IF HE STAYS, I'LL DRIVE HIM

#249

⇓

OUT TO THE COUNTRY AND LEAVE HIM THERE.

#250

⇓

OUT TO THE COUNTRY AND LEAVE HIM THERE.

#251

⇓

HUZZAH! HE'S MINE!

#252

⇓

HUZZAH! HE'S MINE!

#253

⇓

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU TALKED ME INTO THIS.

#254

⇓

I WILL NEVER GET THIS FELLOWSHIP.

#255

⇓

I WILL NEVER GET THIS FELLOWSHIP.

#256

⇓

I DON'T INTERVIEW WELL.

#257

⇓

IT'S THE REASON I DIDN'T GET INTO HARVARD.

#258

⇓

THE SECOND THE PROFESSOR ASKED ME

#259

⇓

THE SECOND THE PROFESSOR ASKED ME

#260

⇓

WHAT I HOPED TO ACCOMPLISH IN COLLEGE,

#261

⇓

MY NOSE STARTED BLEEDING, AND I SNEEZED

#262

⇓

AND SPLATTERED HIS SHIRT WITH BLOOD.

#263

⇓

AND SPLATTERED HIS SHIRT WITH BLOOD.

#264

⇓

DAMN IT, ELLIOT, HOW MANY PEOPLE

#265

⇓

DO YOU HAVE TO TALK TO WHILE YOU'RE PEEING

#266

⇓

DO YOU HAVE TO TALK TO WHILE YOU'RE PEEING

#267

⇓

BEFORE YOU START BELIEVING IN YOURSELF?

#268

⇓

YOU'RE RIGHT.

#269

⇓

YOU'RE RIGHT.

#270

⇓

SO, WHY ARE YOU INTERESTED IN THIS FELLOWSHIP?

#271

⇓

SO, WHY ARE YOU INTERESTED IN THIS FELLOWSHIP?

#272

⇓

(SNEEZES)

#273

⇓

WELL, FIRST OFF, I HAVE INCREDIBLE PASSION

#274

⇓

WELL, FIRST OFF, I HAVE INCREDIBLE PASSION

#275

⇓

FOR THE WORK YOU'RE DOING.

#276

⇓

I'VE HEARD THAT YOU'RE AN AMAZING DOCTOR,

#277

⇓

AND I WOULD BE HONORED TO HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY

#278

⇓

AND I WOULD BE HONORED TO HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY

#279

⇓

TO WORK WITH YOU, MR. GOLD.

#280

⇓

HAVE A GREAT DAY, HONEY.

#281

⇓

YOU HAVE EVEN A BETTER ONE, YOU.

#282

⇓

YOU HAVE EVEN A BETTER ONE, YOU.

#283

⇓

YOU DO IT! YEAH, YEAH.

#284

⇓

YOU HAVE EVEN A BETTER ONE.

#285

⇓

YOU HAVE EVEN A BETTER ONE.

#286

⇓

(SIGHS WEARILY)

#287

⇓

PERRY, I GET THE FEELING SOMETHING IS BOTHERING YOU.

#288

⇓

PERRY, I GET THE FEELING SOMETHING IS BOTHERING YOU.

#289

⇓

BOB, PEOPLE HAVE A PRIVATE LIFE,

#290

⇓

AND PEOPLE HAVE A PROFESSIONAL LIFE,

#291

⇓

AND PEOPLE HAVE A PROFESSIONAL LIFE,

#292

⇓

AND, USUALLY, THOSE 2 HELLS ARE KEPT PRETTY SEPARATE.

#293

⇓

FOR INSTANCE, I DON'T KNOW THAT MUCH ABOUT YOUR HOME LIFE,

#294

⇓

FOR INSTANCE, I DON'T KNOW THAT MUCH ABOUT YOUR HOME LIFE,

#295

⇓

OTHER THAN THE FACT THAT YOU TREAT YOUR WIFE LIKE A DOG,

#296

⇓

OTHER THAN THE FACT THAT YOU TREAT YOUR WIFE LIKE A DOG,

#297

⇓

YOUR DOG LIKE A WIFE, AND YOUR SON

#298

⇓

LIKE AN ANDROGYNOUS NE'ER-DO-WELL

#299

⇓

LIKE AN ANDROGYNOUS NE'ER-DO-WELL

#300

⇓

WHO DRAINS YOUR RETIREMENT NEST EGG

#301

⇓

TO OPEN UP A YARN SHOP IN MINNEAPOLIS.

#302

⇓

TO OPEN UP A YARN SHOP IN MINNEAPOLIS.

#303

⇓

HARRISON POSTED HIS FIRST PROFIT THIS QUARTER.

#304

⇓

ACES.

#305

⇓

ACES.

#306

⇓

AND I'M GUESSING THAT'S BECAUSE

#307

⇓

HIS SIGNIFICANT OTHER... TERRENCE.

#308

⇓

HIS SIGNIFICANT OTHER... TERRENCE.

#309

⇓

TERRENCE DOESN'T FOLLOW HIM AROUND THE SHOP ALL DAY,

#310

⇓

TELLING HIM JUST EXACTLY WHAT COLOR IS IN THIS SEASON,

#311

⇓

TELLING HIM JUST EXACTLY WHAT COLOR IS IN THIS SEASON,

#312

⇓

OR SHOWING ALL OF THE OTHER EMPLOYEES

#313

⇓

OR SHOWING ALL OF THE OTHER EMPLOYEES

#314

⇓

THAT HE IS NOT, IN FACT, THE BOSS OF HIS OWN LIFE.

#315

⇓

YOU SEE, THE WOMAN IS EVERYWHERE.

#316

⇓

YOU SEE, THE WOMAN IS EVERYWHERE.

#317

⇓

SHE'S THERE WHEN I WORK OUT IN THE MORNING,

#318

⇓

SHE'S THERE WHEN I WORK OUT IN THE MORNING,

#319

⇓

WHEN I WORK OUT IN THE CAR ON THE WAY TO WORK,

#320

⇓

AND WHEN I WORK OUT WHEN I GET TO WORK.

#321

⇓

I CAN'T SEEM TO GET AWAY FROM HER,

#322

⇓

I CAN'T SEEM TO GET AWAY FROM HER,

#323

⇓

AND THAT USED TO BE FINE WHEN SHE JUST CAME AROUND

#324

⇓

AND THAT USED TO BE FINE WHEN SHE JUST CAME AROUND

#325

⇓

FOR 5 MINUTES EVERY MONTH OR SO TO FEED ON MY DIGNITY,

#326

⇓

FOR 5 MINUTES EVERY MONTH OR SO TO FEED ON MY DIGNITY,

#327

⇓

BUT NOW, I'D HONESTLY KILL MYSELF, BOB,

#328

⇓

IF I WASN'T CONVINCED THAT JORDAN WOULDN'T ALREADY BE THERE

#329

⇓

IF I WASN'T CONVINCED THAT JORDAN WOULDN'T ALREADY BE THERE

#330

⇓

WAITING FOR ME IN THE AFTERLIFE.

#331

⇓

YOU SEE, TYPICAL OF HER,

#332

⇓

YOU SEE, TYPICAL OF HER,

#333

⇓

SHE WENT AHEAD AND SIGNED US UP

#334

⇓

FOR AN ETERNAL TANDEM BIKE RIDE

#335

⇓

FOR AN ETERNAL TANDEM BIKE RIDE

#336

⇓

ALL ALONG THE BANKS OF THE RIVER STYX.

#337

⇓

I'M SO GLAD YOU SHARED.

#338

⇓

HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO MAKE THIS A FULL TIME JOB?

#339

⇓

HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO MAKE THIS A FULL TIME JOB?

#340

⇓

I'LL HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT.

#341

⇓

HOW COULD YOU NOT SEE THIS COMING?

#342

⇓

HOW COULD YOU NOT SEE THIS COMING?

#343

⇓

HOOCH JUST GOT IN THE SHOWER.

#344

⇓

LET THE GAMES BEGIN.

#345

⇓

LET THE GAMES BEGIN.

#346

⇓

WHO THE HELL PUT BOUILLION CUBES IN THE SHOWERHEAD?!

#347

⇓

WHO THE HELL PUT BOUILLION CUBES IN THE SHOWERHEAD?!

#348

⇓

HUH? DID YOU DO IT? HMM? DID YOU?!

#349

⇓

HUH? DID YOU DO IT? HMM? DID YOU?!

#350

⇓

IF IT HAPPENS AGAIN,

#351

⇓

IF IT HAPPENS AGAIN,

#352

⇓

I WILL WAIT IN MY S.U.V.,

#353

⇓

BLAST ME SOME SPEED METAL, 5.1 SURROUND SOUND,

#354

⇓

BLAST ME SOME SPEED METAL, 5.1 SURROUND SOUND,

#355

⇓

HEAVY ON THE BASS,

#356

⇓

HEAVY ON THE BASS,

#357

⇓

AND SOMEONE WILL BE GETTING MOWED DOWN.

#358

⇓

AND SOMEONE WILL BE GETTING MOWED DOWN.

#359

⇓

HEH HEH.

#360

⇓

# DOO-DOO-DOO #

#361

⇓

# DOO-DOO-DOO #

#362

⇓

HOOCH IS CRAZY.

#363

⇓

HOOCH IS CRAZY.

#364

⇓

I'M REALLY GONNA MISS THIS KIND OF STUFF.

#365

⇓

WHY? WE'LL STILL BE ABLE

#366

⇓

WHY? WE'LL STILL BE ABLE

#367

⇓

TO PULL PRANKS ON HIM AFTER YOU MOVE OUT.

#368

⇓

YEAH, BUT WE WON'T BE STAYING UP TILL 6:00 IN THE MORNING

#369

⇓

PLANNING ANYTHING AS GENIUS AS THE SOUP SHOWER.

#370

⇓

PLANNING ANYTHING AS GENIUS AS THE SOUP SHOWER.

#371

⇓

THIS IS THE END OF AN ERA, SUPER CHOC.

#372

⇓

YOU KNOW HOW YOU'RE PRONE TO OVERLY SENSITIVE

#373

⇓

YOU KNOW HOW YOU'RE PRONE TO OVERLY SENSITIVE

#374

⇓

GIRLY DISPLAYS OF SENTIMENTALITY?

#375

⇓

GUILTY.

#376

⇓

GUILTY.

#377

⇓

OK, NOW, IF YOU REEL IT BACK A LITTLE BIT,

#378

⇓

I'LL GET SOMEBODY TO COVER FOR ME TONIGHT,

#379

⇓

AND I'LL HELP YOU PACK YOUR STUFF.

#380

⇓

AND I'LL HELP YOU PACK YOUR STUFF.

#381

⇓

OH, CAN WE CUT WORDS OUT OF MAGAZINES

#382

⇓

THAT REPRESENT HOW WE FEEL ABOUT EACH OTHER,

#383

⇓

THAT REPRESENT HOW WE FEEL ABOUT EACH OTHER,

#384

⇓

AND GLUE THEM INTO A "FRIENDS FOREVER" COLLAGE?

#385

⇓

HELL, NO.

#386

⇓

HELL, NO.

#387

⇓

OH. CAN WE DRINK BEERS AND REMINISCE?

#388

⇓

HELL, YES.

#389

⇓

THAT'S ALL I WANTED TO DO ANYWAY.

#390

⇓

THAT'S ALL I WANTED TO DO ANYWAY.

#391

⇓

(THINKING) PLUS, I ALREADY MADE THE COLLAGE.

#392

⇓

NOW LISTEN TO ME.

#393

⇓

YOU GOTTA MAKE TONIGHT COUNT

#394

⇓

YOU GOTTA MAKE TONIGHT COUNT

#395

⇓

'CAUSE YOU'LL NEVER BE AS COOL AS YOU WERE

#396

⇓

WHEN YOU WERE ROLLIN' WITH THE BIG DOG AS YOUR ROOMMATE, YOU KNOW?

#397

⇓

WHEN YOU WERE ROLLIN' WITH THE BIG DOG AS YOUR ROOMMATE, YOU KNOW?

#398

⇓

(THINKING) NO, I DIDN'T KNOW.

#399

⇓

(THINKING) NO, I DIDN'T KNOW.

#400

⇓

WELL, MAYBE JAKE SHOULDN'T HAVE PUSHED YOU

#401

⇓

WELL, MAYBE JAKE SHOULDN'T HAVE PUSHED YOU

#402

⇓

INTO THAT INTERVIEW.

#403

⇓

MAYBE I SHOULD'VE COVERED MY MOUTH

#404

⇓

MAYBE I SHOULD'VE COVERED MY MOUTH

#405

⇓

WHEN I SNEEZED BLOOD THE SECOND TIME.

#406

⇓

OH, COME ON, ELLIOT.

#407

⇓

HE'S ALWAYS TELLING YOU WHAT TO DO.

#408

⇓

HE'S ALWAYS TELLING YOU WHAT TO DO.

#409

⇓

THAT'S NOT TRUE.

#410

⇓

(DOOR BUZZER)

#411

⇓

HEY, IT'S JAKE. BUZZ ME UP.

#412

⇓

HEY, IT'S JAKE. BUZZ ME UP.

#413

⇓

OH, MY GOD, YOU'RE RIGHT.

#414

⇓

OH, MY GOD, YOU'RE RIGHT.

#415

⇓

DON'T LET HIM BE YOUR PUPPET MASTER.

#416

⇓

HEY.

#417

⇓

WHAT'S UP?

#418

⇓

WHAT'S UP?

#419

⇓

I HAVE A HEADACHE.

#420

⇓

TAKE SOME ASPIRIN.

#421

⇓

TAKE SOME ASPIRIN.

#422

⇓

DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO.

#423

⇓

YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME.

#424

⇓

OK, WHAT JUST HAPPENED?

#425

⇓

OK, WHAT JUST HAPPENED?

#426

⇓

SO, DO YOU THINK I SHOULD TAKE THE JOB?

#427

⇓

SO, DO YOU THINK I SHOULD TAKE THE JOB?

#428

⇓

PERRY?

#429

⇓

OH, I'M SORRY, HONEY.

#430

⇓

I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT THIS LITTLE BOY IN HERE.

#431

⇓

I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT THIS LITTLE BOY IN HERE.

#432

⇓

HE'S ONLY 8 YEARS OLD, AND HE'S TERMINAL.

#433

⇓

HE'S ONLY 8 YEARS OLD, AND HE'S TERMINAL.

#434

⇓

I JUST HOPE HIS PARENTS

#435

⇓

I JUST HOPE HIS PARENTS

#436

⇓

SPENT AS MUCH TIME WITH HIM AS THEY COULD.

#437

⇓

YOU'RE HERE ONE MINUTE, AND THEN THE NEXT, YOU'RE...

#438

⇓

YOU'RE HERE ONE MINUTE, AND THEN THE NEXT, YOU'RE...

#439

⇓

WHAT, UH, WHAT WERE YOU SAYING?

#440

⇓

WHAT, UH, WHAT WERE YOU SAYING?

#441

⇓

NOTHING.

#442

⇓

STICK YOUR HAND OUT.

#443

⇓

GOOD MAN.

#444

⇓

GOOD MAN.

#445

⇓

GET YOURSELF SOME ICE CREAM. GO ON, GET OUT OF HERE.

#446

⇓

HEY! OH. OH, HA HA HA HA.

#447

⇓

J.D., I GOT A MONDO 82-INCH PIZZA WITH OUR NAMES ON IT!

#448

⇓

J.D., I GOT A MONDO 82-INCH PIZZA WITH OUR NAMES ON IT!

#449

⇓

J.D., I GOT A MONDO 82-INCH PIZZA WITH OUR NAMES ON IT!

#450

⇓

DUDE! IT'S HU...

#451

⇓

DUDE! IT'S HU...

#452

⇓

(KNOCKING)

#453

⇓

DUDE, WHAT THE HELL? WE'RE SUPPOSED TO HANG,

#454

⇓

DUDE, WHAT THE HELL? WE'RE SUPPOSED TO HANG,

#455

⇓

AND ALL OF A SUDDEN YOU MOVED OUT?

#456

⇓

J.D.: IT'S HARD TO HIDE YOUR EMOTIONS

#457

⇓

J.D.: IT'S HARD TO HIDE YOUR EMOTIONS

#458

⇓

IN FRONT OF PEOPLE WHO KNOW YOU WELL...

#459

⇓

(RINGS)

#460

⇓

ANSWER IT.

#461

⇓

ANSWER IT.

#462

⇓

(RING)

#463

⇓

OR DON'T.

#464

⇓

HELLO.

#465

⇓

J.D.: LIKE EXCITEMENT ABOUT A NEW JOB...

#466

⇓

J.D.: LIKE EXCITEMENT ABOUT A NEW JOB...

#467

⇓

I GOT THE FELLOWSHIP.

#468

⇓

HEY!

#469

⇓

(BOTH LAUGH)

#470

⇓

(BOTH LAUGH)

#471

⇓

OR DISAPPOINTMENT ABOUT A LOST OPPORTUNITY.

#472

⇓

OR DISAPPOINTMENT ABOUT A LOST OPPORTUNITY.

#473

⇓

I'M SORRY, BOB. I CAN'T TAKE THE JOB.

#474

⇓

MAYBE NEXT YEAR.

#475

⇓

AS FOR ME, I JUST DIDN'T WANT TURK TO KNOW

#476

⇓

THAT HE'D HURT MY FEELINGS.

#477

⇓

I DON'T KNOW. I FIGURED IT WASN'T THAT BIG A DEAL.

#478

⇓

I DON'T KNOW. I FIGURED IT WASN'T THAT BIG A DEAL.

#479

⇓

HEY, I'M PRETTY TIRED FROM THE MOVE,

#480

⇓

HEY, I'M PRETTY TIRED FROM THE MOVE,

#481

⇓

SO I'M PROBABLY JUST GONNA CRASH.

#482

⇓

I'M FAMISHED.

#483

⇓

I'M FAMISHED.

#484

⇓

MORNING.

#485

⇓

YEAH.

#486

⇓

(THINKING) TURK DIDN'T EVEN REALIZE

#487

⇓

HE PISSED ME OFF, SO EXPLAINING MY FEELINGS TO HIM

#488

⇓

HE PISSED ME OFF, SO EXPLAINING MY FEELINGS TO HIM

#489

⇓

WAS THE SMART MOVE.

#490

⇓

I TOOK A SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT TACK.

#491

⇓

I TOOK A SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT TACK.

#492

⇓

THAT SEAT'S TAKEN, ASS-FACE.

#493

⇓

BY WHO?

#494

⇓

BY WHO?

#495

⇓

HELLO THERE, CHOCOLATE BEAR 2.

#496

⇓

HOOCH?! J.D., WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON HERE?

#497

⇓

HOOCH?! J.D., WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON HERE?

#498

⇓

I REPLACED YOUR ASS.

#499

⇓

BY THE BY, JOHNNY TOLD ME THAT YOU WERE RESPONSIBLE

#500

⇓

BY THE BY, JOHNNY TOLD ME THAT YOU WERE RESPONSIBLE

#501

⇓

FOR MY BROTHY SHOWER THE OTHER DAY.

#502

⇓

FOR MY BROTHY SHOWER THE OTHER DAY.

#503

⇓

IF IT HAPPENS AGAIN...

#504

⇓

IF IT HAPPENS AGAIN...

#505

⇓

I'M GONNA TAKE ONE OF YOUR FINGERS.

#506

⇓

THAT'LL BE MY FUNNY PRANK.

#507

⇓

HOOCH IS CRAZY.

#508

⇓

OH, SORRY. OLD HABIT.

#509

⇓

OH, SORRY. OLD HABIT.

#510

⇓

J.D.: I WASN'T THE ONLY UNHAPPY PERSON IN OUR HOSPITAL FAMILY.

#511

⇓

J.D.: I WASN'T THE ONLY UNHAPPY PERSON IN OUR HOSPITAL FAMILY.

#512

⇓

SURE, JAKE, I'LL TELL YOU WHY IT FEELS LIKE I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH YOU.

#513

⇓

THE FACT THAT ELLIOT JUMPS SO HIGH WHENEVER YOU TELL HER TO

#514

⇓

MAY SEEM HARMLESS, BUT AS A RESULT,

#515

⇓

MAY SEEM HARMLESS, BUT AS A RESULT,

#516

⇓

SHE'S BEEN STEALING ALL MY SPORTS BRAS.

#517

⇓

SERIOUSLY! THE ONLY ONE I HAVE LEFT IS THE ONE I'M WEARING,

#518

⇓

SERIOUSLY! THE ONLY ONE I HAVE LEFT IS THE ONE I'M WEARING,

#519

⇓

AND IT WORKS GREAT. SEE? HUH?

#520

⇓

AND IT WORKS GREAT. SEE? HUH?

#521

⇓

IT WORKS PRETTY NICELY.

#522

⇓

IT DOES, RIGHT?

#523

⇓

BUT...IF I WANNA JUMP UP AND DOWN AGAIN THIS WEEK,

#524

⇓

BUT...IF I WANNA JUMP UP AND DOWN AGAIN THIS WEEK,

#525

⇓

I'M STUCK UNTIL LAUNDRY DAY.

#526

⇓

I'M STUCK UNTIL LAUNDRY DAY.

#527

⇓

OK, I'M OBVIOUSLY GONNA HAVE TO GUESS WHAT YOUR POINT IS HERE,

#528

⇓

BUT I THINK IT'S THAT I CONTROL ELLIOT, WHICH I DON'T.

#529

⇓

BUT I THINK IT'S THAT I CONTROL ELLIOT, WHICH I DON'T.

#530

⇓

HERE. WATCH THIS.

#531

⇓

ELLIOT, WILL YOU SHOVE THAT GUY?

#532

⇓

ELLIOT, WILL YOU SHOVE THAT GUY?

#533

⇓

WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?

#534

⇓

I WAS TRYING TO PROVE YOU DON'T DO EVERYTHING I SAY.

#535

⇓

I WAS TRYING TO PROVE YOU DON'T DO EVERYTHING I SAY.

#536

⇓

WELL, CLUE ME IN, STUD.

#537

⇓

THAT WAS CREEPY CARL. HE RUNS AN UPSKIRT WEBSITE.

#538

⇓

THAT WAS CREEPY CARL. HE RUNS AN UPSKIRT WEBSITE.

#539

⇓

I'M ON IT.

#540

⇓

I'M ON IT.

#541

⇓

OH!

#542

⇓

OOH.

#543

⇓

OH, YEAH, TED. I MOVED THE FILE CABINET.

#544

⇓

OH, YEAH, TED. I MOVED THE FILE CABINET.

#545

⇓

I'M GONNA MISS THIS OFFICE.

#546

⇓

WHY? IT SMELLS LIKE THAT ODD COMBO

#547

⇓

WHY? IT SMELLS LIKE THAT ODD COMBO

#548

⇓

OF FLOP SWEAT, HOPELESSNESS, AND FEET.

#549

⇓

OF FLOP SWEAT, HOPELESSNESS, AND FEET.

#550

⇓

YEAH, I KNOW. IT'S JUST...

#551

⇓

I GUESS THIS STUPID JOB MADE ME FEEL VALID AGAIN.

#552

⇓

I GUESS THIS STUPID JOB MADE ME FEEL VALID AGAIN.

#553

⇓

YOU KNOW?

#554

⇓

YOU KNOW?

#555

⇓

YOU DON'T KNOW.

#556

⇓

IT'S OK. SEE YOU AT HOME.

#557

⇓

WHO'S READY FOR A PIE BREAK?

#558

⇓

NO. COME ON. WHY NOT?

#559

⇓

NO. COME ON. WHY NOT?

#560

⇓

WHY DON'T YOU ASK TODD?

#561

⇓

DUE TO WHAT CAN ONLY BE DESCRIBED AS EPIC DIARRHEA,

#562

⇓

DUE TO WHAT CAN ONLY BE DESCRIBED AS EPIC DIARRHEA,

#563

⇓

HE'S BEEN ON AN I.V. DRIP FOR 36 HOURS.

#564

⇓

MAKE IT STOP 5.

#565

⇓

MAKE IT STOP 5.

#566

⇓

(THINKING) MAYBE I WAS BEING UNFAIR TO TURK.

#567

⇓

MAYBE IT'S TOO MUCH TO EXPECT A FRIEND TO JUST SENSE THAT YOU'RE UPSET

#568

⇓

MAYBE IT'S TOO MUCH TO EXPECT A FRIEND TO JUST SENSE THAT YOU'RE UPSET

#569

⇓

AND WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT.

#570

⇓

CARLA, I CAN SENSE YOU'RE UPSET.

#571

⇓

CARLA, I CAN SENSE YOU'RE UPSET.

#572

⇓

TALK TO ME.

#573

⇓

OK, BUT TURK'S A PRIDEFUL GUY,

#574

⇓

OK, BUT TURK'S A PRIDEFUL GUY,

#575

⇓

AND IT'S HARD FOR PRIDEFUL GUYS

#576

⇓

TO ADMIT WHEN THEY'VE BEEN INSENSITIVE.

#577

⇓

TO ADMIT WHEN THEY'VE BEEN INSENSITIVE.

#578

⇓

LISTEN, JORDAN, I'VE BEEN INCREDIBLY INSENSITIVE.

#579

⇓

LISTEN, JORDAN, I'VE BEEN INCREDIBLY INSENSITIVE.

#580

⇓

TOUCHE, MAGIC HALLWAY.

#581

⇓

BOTTOM LINE, I SHOULD'VE HAD MORE FAITH IN MY FRIEND TO COME THROUGH FOR ME.

#582

⇓

BOTTOM LINE, I SHOULD'VE HAD MORE FAITH IN MY FRIEND TO COME THROUGH FOR ME.

#583

⇓

TURK!

#584

⇓

NO, IT'S ME, HOOCH, VANILLA BEAR.

#585

⇓

NO, IT'S ME, HOOCH, VANILLA BEAR.

#586

⇓

HA HA!

#587

⇓

HOOCH IS CRAZY.

#588

⇓

HOOCH IS CRAZY.

#589

⇓

SO, HOOCH, THIS IS IT.

#590

⇓

SO, HOOCH, THIS IS IT.

#591

⇓

THEN THINGS TOOK A TURN.

#592

⇓

SAY, WHERE'S ROWDY?

#593

⇓

SAY, WHERE'S ROWDY?

#594

⇓

"I'M AT THE HOSPITAL"?

#595

⇓

"I'M AT THE HOSPITAL"?

#596

⇓

THERE HE IS!

#597

⇓

THERE HE IS!

#598

⇓

OK, HE'S GOING UP. I'LL TAKE THE STAIRS.

#599

⇓

YOU DON'T LET ANYONE OUT OF THAT ELEVATOR, OK?

#600

⇓

YOU DON'T LET ANYONE OUT OF THAT ELEVATOR, OK?

#601

⇓

BE STRONG, HOOCH.

#602

⇓

I'LL TRY.

#603

⇓

SO WHERE'S CHOCOLATE BEAR NUMBER 2?

#604

⇓

SO WHERE'S CHOCOLATE BEAR NUMBER 2?

#605

⇓

WHO ELSE THINKS THEY'RE FASTER THAN ME, HUH?

#606

⇓

WHO ELSE THINKS THEY'RE FASTER THAN ME, HUH?

#607

⇓

HUH?

#608

⇓

YO, HOOCH IS SERIOUSLY CRAZY.

#609

⇓

YO, HOOCH IS SERIOUSLY CRAZY.

#610

⇓

HOO HOO HOO HOO.

#611

⇓

PLUS THERE'S A DECENT CHANCE

#612

⇓

HE'LL BE MY SECOND SERIOUS BOYFRIEND

#613

⇓

HE'LL BE MY SECOND SERIOUS BOYFRIEND

#614

⇓

NOT TO END UP IN BED WITH MY MOM OR MY BROTHER BARRY.

#615

⇓

AND HE DOESN'T ALWAYS TELL ME WHAT TO DO.

#616

⇓

I MEAN, SURE, HE DID TELL ME TO COME UP HERE AND TALK TO YOU,

#617

⇓

I MEAN, SURE, HE DID TELL ME TO COME UP HERE AND TALK TO YOU,

#618

⇓

BUT I WAS GONNA DO THAT ANYWAY 'CAUSE I WANTED TO ASK YOU

#619

⇓

IF I SHOULD WEAR HOOKER HEELS OR FLATS WITH MY PINK SKIRT

#620

⇓

IF I SHOULD WEAR HOOKER HEELS OR FLATS WITH MY PINK SKIRT

#621

⇓

WHEN WE GO CELEBRATE MY NEW JOB TONIGHT.

#622

⇓

BUT INSTEAD I'M TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT YOUR PROBLEM IS.

#623

⇓

BUT INSTEAD I'M TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT YOUR PROBLEM IS.

#624

⇓

LOOK! I THOUGHT YOU WERE STAYING, OK?

#625

⇓

I'VE BEEN HERE FOR 11 YEARS,

#626

⇓

AND IT'S ALWAYS THE SAME STORY.

#627

⇓

AND IT'S ALWAYS THE SAME STORY.

#628

⇓

I GET REALLY CLOSE TO SOMEONE, AND THEY MOVE ON.

#629

⇓

I DON'T WANT TO BE 50 MAKING FRIENDS WITH THE NEW 25-YEAR-OLD INTERNS, ELLIOT.

#630

⇓

I DON'T WANT TO BE 50 MAKING FRIENDS WITH THE NEW 25-YEAR-OLD INTERNS, ELLIOT.

#631

⇓

THEY'LL MAKE FUN OF ME WHEN WE GO DANCING.

#632

⇓

NOT IF I GO WITH YOU.

#633

⇓

NOT IF I GO WITH YOU.

#634

⇓

AND THEN THEY KISS?

#635

⇓

SORRY.

#636

⇓

SORRY.

#637

⇓

LOOK AT HIM. WHAT AN ANGEL.

#638

⇓

LOOK AT HIM. WHAT AN ANGEL.

#639

⇓

(BABY STARTS TO CRY) DOWN, HE'S WAKING UP.

#640

⇓

HEY, JORDAN, UM...

#641

⇓

HEY, JORDAN, UM...

#642

⇓

LOOKIT, I TRIED TO GUILT YOU INTO NOT TAKING THAT JOB.

#643

⇓

REALLY?

#644

⇓

REALLY?

#645

⇓

LOOK, I DON'T WANT TO BE ONE OF THOSE MOMS

#646

⇓

THAT NEVER SEES HER KIDS,

#647

⇓

THAT NEVER SEES HER KIDS,

#648

⇓

BUT I ALSO DON'T WANT TO BE ONE OF THOSE MOMS

#649

⇓

THAT STAYS AT HOME BUT THEN RESENTS HER KIDS

#650

⇓

THAT STAYS AT HOME BUT THEN RESENTS HER KIDS

#651

⇓

'CAUSE SHE WISHES SHE WAS WORKING

#652

⇓

SO SHE COULD GO TO AN OFFICE

#653

⇓

AND FEEL BAD ABOUT NOT BEING AT HOME WITH HER KIDS.

#654

⇓

AND FEEL BAD ABOUT NOT BEING AT HOME WITH HER KIDS.

#655

⇓

I WAS JUST WORRIED

#656

⇓

THAT YOU WOULD THINK I WAS A BAD MOM.

#657

⇓

THAT YOU WOULD THINK I WAS A BAD MOM.

#658

⇓

SWEETIE,

#659

⇓

YOU ARE AN EVIL, SOULLESS,

#660

⇓

YOU ARE AN EVIL, SOULLESS,

#661

⇓

CHEMICALLY ENHANCED BATTLE-AX

#662

⇓

THAT I TRULY DOUBT IS 100% HUMAN, BUT...

#663

⇓

THAT I TRULY DOUBT IS 100% HUMAN, BUT...

#664

⇓

YOU ARE AN AMAZING MOM.

#665

⇓

YOU ARE AN AMAZING MOM.

#666

⇓

JUST SAY YOU'RE SORRY, GIVE ME A HUG, AND THIS'LL ALL BE OVER.

#667

⇓

WHY DO I HAVE TO SAY I'M SORRY?

#668

⇓

WHY DO I HAVE TO SAY I'M SORRY?

#669

⇓

DUDE, I DON'T MEAN TO SOUND GIRLY,

#670

⇓

BUT FOR THE LAST 12 YEARS,

#671

⇓

BUT FOR THE LAST 12 YEARS,

#672

⇓

YOU'VE PRACTICALLY BEEN LIKE MY WIFE.

#673

⇓

HOW IS THAT GIRLY?

#674

⇓

HOW IS THAT GIRLY?

#675

⇓

LOOK, BEFORE, WHEN YOU SAID I'D NEVER BE AS COOL

#676

⇓

AS WHEN I WAS LIVING WITH YOU,

#677

⇓

AS WHEN I WAS LIVING WITH YOU,

#678

⇓

YOU KNOW THERE'S SOME TRUTH TO THAT.

#679

⇓

I'M SORTA LIKE ODD AND GEEKY AND...

#680

⇓

I'M SORTA LIKE ODD AND GEEKY AND...

#681

⇓

YOU'VE ALWAYS SORT OF VALIDATED ME.

#682

⇓

YOU'VE ALWAYS SORT OF VALIDATED ME.

#683

⇓

J.D., YOU'RE JUST MOVING OUT.

#684

⇓

J.D., YOU'RE JUST MOVING OUT.

#685

⇓

WELL, SAY THINGS WILL BE THE SAME.

#686

⇓

(PAGER BEEPS)

#687

⇓

(PAGER BEEPS)

#688

⇓

THAT'S CARLA. I GOTTA GO.

#689

⇓

THAT'S CARLA. I GOTTA GO.

#690

⇓

YOU'RE RIGHT. THINGS ARE GONNA BE DIFFERENT.

#691

⇓

BUT DIFFERENT DOESN'T ALWAYS MEAN BAD.

#692

⇓

BUT DIFFERENT DOESN'T ALWAYS MEAN BAD.

#693

⇓

JUST MEANS DIFFERENT.

#694

⇓

JUST MEANS DIFFERENT.

#695

⇓

OK.

#696

⇓

ALL RIGHT.

#697

⇓

NO BETTER PICK-ME-UP THAN A NICE SLICE OF MOM'S PIE.

#698

⇓

NO BETTER PICK-ME-UP THAN A NICE SLICE OF MOM'S PIE.

#699

⇓

WHY ARE YOU SO OBSESSED WITH THIS?!

#700

⇓

I DON'T KNOW. I THINK IT'S 'CAUSE THIS TIME,

#701

⇓

I DON'T KNOW. I THINK IT'S 'CAUSE THIS TIME,

#702

⇓

I WASN'T TRYING TO MESS WITH YOU.

#703

⇓

REALLY?

#704

⇓

REALLY?

#705

⇓

REALLY.

#706

⇓

REALLY.

#707

⇓

HUH?

#708

⇓

J.D.: WHO WOULD DO THIS TO HIMSELF?

#709

⇓

JANITOR: TOTALLY WORTH IT.

#710

⇓

JANITOR: TOTALLY WORTH IT.

#711

⇓

AS EVERY PIECE OF FOOD

#712

⇓

I'D PUT INTO MY BODY IN THE LAST YEAR

#713

⇓

WAS RUSHING OUT OF ME, IT GOT ME THINKING.

#714

⇓

WAS RUSHING OUT OF ME, IT GOT ME THINKING.

#715

⇓

THE WAY SOME THINGS NEVER CHANGE SHINES A LIGHT ON THE THINGS THAT DO.

#716

⇓

THE WAY SOME THINGS NEVER CHANGE SHINES A LIGHT ON THE THINGS THAT DO.

#717

⇓

LIKE WHEN A NEW PERSON COMES INTO THE HOSPITAL TO STAY...

#718

⇓

LIKE WHEN A NEW PERSON COMES INTO THE HOSPITAL TO STAY...

#719

⇓

(DR. COX WHISTLES SHARPLY)

#720

⇓

MY OFFICE KEYS, TED.

#721

⇓

CAN'T BELIEVE I'M ACTUALLY DOING THIS.

#722

⇓

CAN'T BELIEVE I'M ACTUALLY DOING THIS.

#723

⇓

YOU'LL MEET ME OUT LATER, RIGHT?

#724

⇓

YOU'LL MEET ME OUT LATER, RIGHT?

#725

⇓

OR AN OLD FRIEND LEAVES FOR GOOD.

#726

⇓

SOMETIMES THE BIGGEST CHANGES ARE A RESULT OF AN IMPULSIVE DECISION.

#727

⇓

SOMETIMES THE BIGGEST CHANGES ARE A RESULT OF AN IMPULSIVE DECISION.

#728

⇓

I THINK WE SHOULD HAVE A BABY.

#729

⇓

WHOA! HMM?

#730

⇓

WHOA! HMM?

#731

⇓

WHAT?

#732

⇓

I KNOW YOU'RE FEELING ABANDONED RIGHT NOW,

#733

⇓

BUT WE JUST WENT THROUGH A REALLY ROUGH SPOT,

#734

⇓

BUT WE JUST WENT THROUGH A REALLY ROUGH SPOT,

#735

⇓

AND I'M NOT THE TYPE OF GUY TO MAKE LIFE-CHANGING DECISIONS

#736

⇓

AND I'M NOT THE TYPE OF GUY TO MAKE LIFE-CHANGING DECISIONS

#737

⇓

WITHOUT THINKING ABOUT IT FOR AT LEAST, LIKE,

#738

⇓

A FEW MONTHS.

#739

⇓

A FEW MONTHS.

#740

⇓

LET'S MAKE A BABY.

#741

⇓

AND SO HERE I AM,

#742

⇓

AND SO HERE I AM,

#743

⇓

A GUY IN AN EMPTY APARTMENT WITH A DEAD DOG.

#744

⇓

A GUY IN AN EMPTY APARTMENT WITH A DEAD DOG.

#745

⇓

OH, AND THAT'S NOT A TEAR ON MY CHEEK.

#746

⇓

THAT'S JUST FROM THE LEAK IN MY CEILING.

#747

⇓

THAT'S JUST FROM THE LEAK IN MY CEILING.

#748

⇓

AND, YES, CHANGE IS SCARY,

#749

⇓

BUT IT'S ALSO INEVITABLE.

#750

⇓

IT'S UP TO YOU TO MAKE THE BEST OF IT.

#751

⇓

IT'S UP TO YOU TO MAKE THE BEST OF IT.

#752

⇓

I MEAN, IT'S NOT LIKE OPPORTUNITY'S JUST GONNA FALL INTO YOUR LAP.

#753

⇓

I MEAN, IT'S NOT LIKE OPPORTUNITY'S JUST GONNA FALL INTO YOUR LAP.

#754

⇓

AAH!

#755

⇓

THEN AGAIN...

#756

⇓

HOWDY, NEIGHBOR, I'M JONATHAN.

#757

⇓

HI.

#758

⇓

HI.

#759

⇓

YOU EYEBALLIN' MY WOMAN?

#760

⇓

YOU EYEBALLIN' MY WOMAN?

#761

⇓

I HATE CHANGE.

#762

⇓