Home » Scrubs » S04E24 — My Drive-By

Scrubs

Season 4, Episode 24 — My Drive-By

J.D.: (NARRATING) NO ONE WANTS TO LIVE OUT THEIR LAST YEARS IN A HOSPITAL, BUT PEOPLE DO.

#1

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J.D.: (NARRATING) NO ONE WANTS TO LIVE OUT THEIR LAST YEARS IN A HOSPITAL, BUT PEOPLE DO.

#2

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THERE'S REALLY NOT MUCH WE CAN DO OR THEM EXCEPT TRY TO PROTECT THEIR DIGNITY,

#3

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AND, OF COURSE, BET ON THEM.

#4

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AND, OF COURSE, BET ON THEM.

#5

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COME ON, MR. GILMORE.

#6

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COLONEL MUSTARD!

#7

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COLONEL MUSTARD!

#8

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HA! PAY UP.

#9

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CAN I GET SOME JELL-O, PLEASE?

#10

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CAN I GET SOME JELL-O, PLEASE?

#11

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JELL-O IS FOR WINNERS.

#12

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WHAT? I'M JUST KIDDING.

#13

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WHAT? I'M JUST KIDDING.

#14

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WE'LL HAVE SOME SENT RIGHT TO YOUR ROOM, BIG GUY.

#15

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THANK YOU.

#16

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THANK YOU.

#17

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DUDE, YOU'RE NOT GONNA BELIEVE HOW MUCH TROUBLE I'M HAVING

#18

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FINDING A PLACE TO LIVE.

#19

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WHAT HAPPENED WITH THAT LITTLE GUEST HOUSE YOU WENT TO SEE?

#20

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WHAT HAPPENED WITH THAT LITTLE GUEST HOUSE YOU WENT TO SEE?

#21

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IT'S FULLY FURNISHED,

#22

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IT'S FULLY FURNISHED,

#23

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AND THE OWNER OF THE MAIN HOUSE IS JUST GREAT.

#24

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IN FACT, IF YOU LOOK OUT THE WINDOW,

#25

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IN FACT, IF YOU LOOK OUT THE WINDOW,

#26

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YOU CAN SEE HIM RIGHT NOW.

#27

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OH, HE'S PERFECT.

#28

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OH, HE'S PERFECT.

#29

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PERFECT FOR WHAT?

#30

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YEAH, I THINK I'M GONNA KEEP LOOKING.

#31

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YEAH, I THINK I'M GONNA KEEP LOOKING.

#32

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J.D.: (NARRATING) THINGS WERE GOING BETTER FOR ELLIOT.

#33

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J.D.: (NARRATING) THINGS WERE GOING BETTER FOR ELLIOT.

#34

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THANKS FOR THE MOVIE.

#35

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YOU'RE WELCOME FOR THE MOVIE.

#36

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YOU'RE WELCOME FOR THE MOVIE.

#37

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J.D.: (NARRATING) FOR SOME REASON, JAKE WAS ABLE TO HANDLE

#38

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THE PIPING-HOT GIANT BOWL OF CRAZY THAT IS ELLIOT REID.

#39

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THE PIPING-HOT GIANT BOWL OF CRAZY THAT IS ELLIOT REID.

#40

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(LOCKS DOOR)

#41

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(LOCKS DOOR)

#42

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HAH!

#43

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OH, GOD!

#44

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OH, GOD!

#45

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WHAT IS IT?

#46

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I JUST LOCKED THE DOOR WHEN A BLACK GUY WALKED BY.

#47

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NOW HE'S GONNA THINK THAT I THINK HE'S DANGEROUS BECAUSE HE'S BLACK,

#48

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NOW HE'S GONNA THINK THAT I THINK HE'S DANGEROUS BECAUSE HE'S BLACK,

#49

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AND NOT JUST BLACK, BUT WITH AN ACTUAL 'FRO AND EVERYTHING,

#50

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WHICH, TRUST ME, I DON'T FIND SCARY AT ALL.

#51

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WHICH, TRUST ME, I DON'T FIND SCARY AT ALL.

#52

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NOT LIKE THE ZIGZAGS AND THE CORN ROWS AND STUFF.

#53

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NOT LIKE THE ZIGZAGS AND THE CORN ROWS AND STUFF.

#54

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MY NIGHT'S RUINED. NO IT ISN'T.

#55

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HEY, DID YOU THINK SHE WAS LOCKING THE DOOR BECAUSE YOU'RE BLACK?

#56

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HEY, DID YOU THINK SHE WAS LOCKING THE DOOR BECAUSE YOU'RE BLACK?

#57

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NO. I JUST THOUGHT SHE WAS LOCKING THE DOOR.

#58

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NO. I JUST THOUGHT SHE WAS LOCKING THE DOOR.

#59

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THANKS, MAN. BETTER?

#60

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COOLIO.

#61

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COOLIO.

#62

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LET'S GO GET SOME ICE CREAM.

#63

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J.D.: (NARRATING) UNFORTUNATELY FOR JAKE,

#64

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HE STILL HAD TO PASS MUSTER WITH TURK AND ME,

#65

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HE STILL HAD TO PASS MUSTER WITH TURK AND ME,

#66

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AND NOTHING IS QUITE AS DAUNTING AS OUR GOOD GUY TEST.

#67

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AND NOTHING IS QUITE AS DAUNTING AS OUR GOOD GUY TEST.

#68

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WELL, I COULD USE A BEER.

#69

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I GOT THIS ROUND.

#70

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BE RIGHT BACK.

#71

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BE RIGHT BACK.

#72

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GOOD GUY. GREAT GUY.

#73

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OH, MY GOD. EXCELLENT CHOICE.

#74

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OH, MY GOD. EXCELLENT CHOICE.

#75

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AND FINISHED.

#76

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I REMEMBER THE BORDELLO BEING A LITTLE BIT BIGGER,

#77

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AND THERE WERE PROBABLY A FEW MORE PROSTITUTES,

#78

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AND THERE WERE PROBABLY A FEW MORE PROSTITUTES,

#79

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BUT MAYBE I JUST REMEMBER IT THAT WAY

#80

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'CAUSE I WAS A KID.

#81

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IT WAS MY 12TH BIRTHDAY.

#82

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IT WAS MY 12TH BIRTHDAY.

#83

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I ASKED FOR A BIKE.

#84

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I GOT A 48-YEAR-OLD WHORE.

#85

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I GOT A 48-YEAR-OLD WHORE.

#86

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IT'S BEAUTIFUL.

#87

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IT'S ALMOST A SHAME I GET THESE CASTS OFF IN A WEEK.

#88

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IT'S ALMOST A SHAME I GET THESE CASTS OFF IN A WEEK.

#89

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A MONTH.

#90

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A WHAT?

#91

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A WHAT?

#92

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YEAH, I WORKED TOO HARD ON THIS.

#93

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YOU CAN TAKE 'EM OFF IN A MONTH.

#94

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I'LL CALL MY ORTHOPAEDIST .

#95

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I'LL CALL MY ORTHOPAEDIST .

#96

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DR. MURPHY, I'D HAVE MORE SYMPATHY

#97

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IF THIS WERE THE FIRST TIME YOU'D BROKE BOTH YOUR FEET WORKING IN THE MORGUE.

#98

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IF THIS WERE THE FIRST TIME YOU'D BROKE BOTH YOUR FEET WORKING IN THE MORGUE.

#99

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SIR, IT'S LIKE THOSE CORPSES ARE OUT TO GET ME.

#100

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SIR, IT'S LIKE THOSE CORPSES ARE OUT TO GET ME.

#101

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HEH! IF ONLY.

#102

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ANYWAY, I NEED YOU TO GIVE UP THIS THING.

#103

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ANYWAY, I NEED YOU TO GIVE UP THIS THING.

#104

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NO OFFENSE, SON, BUT I CAN'T HAVE A DELUSIONAL BOZO LIKE YOU

#105

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DRIVING A MOTORIZED VEHICLE AROUND THIS HOSPITAL.

#106

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DRIVING A MOTORIZED VEHICLE AROUND THIS HOSPITAL.

#107

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WELL, IF IT ISN'T THE SULLIVAN STREET CATHOUSE!

#108

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WELL, IF IT ISN'T THE SULLIVAN STREET CATHOUSE!

#109

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WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

#110

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DR. KELSO TOLD ME TO STAND HERE

#111

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AT EXACTLY 12:05 WITH MY LUNCH,

#112

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AT EXACTLY 12:05 WITH MY LUNCH,

#113

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BUT I DON'T KNOW WHY.

#114

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THANKS, KID.

#115

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THANKS, KID.

#116

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# I CAN'T DO THIS ALL ON MY OWN #

#117

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# I CAN'T DO THIS ALL ON MY OWN #

#118

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# NO, I'M NO #

#119

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# I'M NO SUPERMAN #

#120

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# I'M NO SUPERMAN #

#121

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# I'M NO SUPERMAN #

#122

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# I'M NO SUPERMAN #

#123

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(WHISTLES) ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY, GATHER AROUND HERE.

#124

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CIRCLE IT UP, WILL YOU? BRING IT IN NICE AND TIGHT.

#125

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CIRCLE IT UP, WILL YOU? BRING IT IN NICE AND TIGHT.

#126

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LOOK, I KNOW I'M PRETTY QUICK TO POINT OUT

#127

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OTHER PEOPLE'S MISTAKES, BUT...

#128

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OTHER PEOPLE'S MISTAKES, BUT...

#129

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I HAVE A SON NOW, AND I ALSO REALIZE THAT IT'S IMPORTANT

#130

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I HAVE A SON NOW, AND I ALSO REALIZE THAT IT'S IMPORTANT

#131

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TO RECOGNIZE WHEN SOMEONE DOES SOMETHING RIGHT.

#132

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MR. BLAKE, DOWN IN BED 3, CAME IN HERE WITH WHAT SEEMED LIKE

#133

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MR. BLAKE, DOWN IN BED 3, CAME IN HERE WITH WHAT SEEMED LIKE

#134

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A BASIC HEART BLOCK,

#135

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A BASIC HEART BLOCK,

#136

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BUT SOMEONE TOOK THE TIME TO FIND OUT THAT RECENTLY HE'D BEEN CAMPING,

#137

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BUT SOMEONE TOOK THE TIME TO FIND OUT THAT RECENTLY HE'D BEEN CAMPING,

#138

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AND CORRECTLY DIAGNOSED HIM WITH LYME CARDITIS.

#139

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AND CORRECTLY DIAGNOSED HIM WITH LYME CARDITIS.

#140

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NOW, I'M SURE SOME OF YOU ARE GONNA THINK THIS IS A SILLY EXERCISE,

#141

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NOW, I'M SURE SOME OF YOU ARE GONNA THINK THIS IS A SILLY EXERCISE,

#142

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BUT I'D LIKE THAT SOMEONE TO STEP FORWARD

#143

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AND STICK YOUR HAND UP IN THE AIR

#144

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AND STICK YOUR HAND UP IN THE AIR

#145

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SO THAT THE GROUP CAN RECOGNIZE YOUR GREAT GOOD WORK.

#146

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SO THAT THE GROUP CAN RECOGNIZE YOUR GREAT GOOD WORK.

#147

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THIS--THIS IS NO TIME TO BE MODEST.

#148

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COME NOW...

#149

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COME NOW...

#150

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OH, MY GOD, IT WAS ME!

#151

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OH, MY GOD, IT WAS ME!

#152

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I DID IT. I'M A GENIUS.

#153

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I'M A HUGE BRAIN IN A RIPPED-UP BODY.

#154

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I'M A HUGE BRAIN IN A RIPPED-UP BODY.

#155

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I AM JESUS H. COX., M.D.

#156

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I AM JESUS H. COX., M.D.

#157

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STILL I PROBABLY COULDN'T HAVE DONE IT BY MYSELF,

#158

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STILL I PROBABLY COULDN'T HAVE DONE IT BY MYSELF,

#159

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SO I'D LIKE TO GO AHEAD AND RECOGNIZE SOME OF THE OTHER PLAYERS

#160

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WHO WERE INVOLVED.

#161

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WHO WERE INVOLVED.

#162

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THERE WAS THE INTERN WHO ORIGINALLY MISDIAGNOSED THE PATIENT.

#163

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THAT'S ME, DADDY. PUT YOUR HAND DOWN, LONNIE.

#164

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THAT'S ME, DADDY. PUT YOUR HAND DOWN, LONNIE.

#165

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AND THEN THERE WAS THE RESIDENT

#166

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WHO CONFIRMED THAT MISDIAGNOSIS.

#167

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WHO CONFIRMED THAT MISDIAGNOSIS.

#168

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IN MY DEFENSE, I WAS UP LATE WATCHING A DESIGNING WOMEN MARATHON.

#169

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IN MY DEFENSE, I WAS UP LATE WATCHING A DESIGNING WOMEN MARATHON.

#170

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AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST, THERE WAS THE SURGEON

#171

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WHO WANTED TO CRACK OPEN MR. BLAKE'S CHEST

#172

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WHO WANTED TO CRACK OPEN MR. BLAKE'S CHEST

#173

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LIKE A WALNUT

#174

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LIKE A WALNUT

#175

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AND PUT IN A PACEMAKER THAT HE DIDN'T EVEN NEED.

#176

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NOW, HE'S TOO MODEST TO INTRODUCE HIMSELF TO THE GROUP,

#177

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NOW, HE'S TOO MODEST TO INTRODUCE HIMSELF TO THE GROUP,

#178

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SO I'LL DO THE HONORS.

#179

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HE IS SO BLACK, SO BALD,

#180

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HE IS SO BLACK, SO BALD,

#181

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AND HE CAN'T EAT CUPCAKES BECAUSE HE'S GOT DIABETES.

#182

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AND HE CAN'T EAT CUPCAKES BECAUSE HE'S GOT DIABETES.

#183

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LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, CHRIS TURK.

#184

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CAN YOU JUST GET OUT OF HERE

#185

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CAN YOU JUST GET OUT OF HERE

#186

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SO WE CAN GET BACK TO WORK?

#187

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NOT UNTIL PEOPLE START CHANTING MY NAME,

#188

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NOT UNTIL PEOPLE START CHANTING MY NAME,

#189

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SO THAT I CAN EXIT THE ROOM WITH MY HANDS HELD HIGH ABOVE MY HEAD

#190

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SO THAT I CAN EXIT THE ROOM WITH MY HANDS HELD HIGH ABOVE MY HEAD

#191

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IN A VICTORIOUS GESTURE. CAPISCE?

#192

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SEE, THIS DIAGNOSING MACHINE--

#193

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SEE, THIS DIAGNOSING MACHINE--

#194

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THIS FABULOUS THING--

#195

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WELL, IT RUNS ON PROPS,

#196

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SO I'M GOING TO NEED TO HEAR IT. COME NOW.

#197

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SO I'M GOING TO NEED TO HEAR IT. COME NOW.

#198

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(ALL CHANTING WEAKLY) COX...COX...COX...

#199

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(ALL CHANTING WEAKLY) COX...COX...COX...

#200

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ME. ME. ME.

#201

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ME. ME. ME.

#202

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OH, SO ME!

#203

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I'VE NEVER CONNECTED WITH A GUY LIKE THIS BEFORE.

#204

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I'VE NEVER CONNECTED WITH A GUY LIKE THIS BEFORE.

#205

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I MEAN, EVEN THOUGH IT'S ONLY BEEN 2 WEEKS,

#206

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I ALREADY FEEL LIKE I KNOW JAKE BETTER THAN I KNOW MYSELF.

#207

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I ALREADY FEEL LIKE I KNOW JAKE BETTER THAN I KNOW MYSELF.

#208

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WHAT DOES HE DO FOR A LIVING?

#209

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I SHOULD KNOW THAT.

#210

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WHAT'S THE SEX LIKE?

#211

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WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT I HAVE SLEPT WITH HIM?

#212

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WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT I HAVE SLEPT WITH HIM?

#213

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FOR STARTERS, YOU'VE KNOWN HIM MORE THAN 10 MINUTES.

#214

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YOU ARE A WEIRD AND ANGRY MAN!

#215

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YOU ARE A WEIRD AND ANGRY MAN!

#216

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(HORN BEEPS SHAVE AND A HAIRCUT INTRO)

#217

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(HORN BEEPS SHAVE AND A HAIRCUT INTRO)

#218

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TWO BITS.

#219

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LOOK, I HAVE JUST BEEN THINKING ABOUT

#220

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ALL OF MY RELATIONSHIPS,

#221

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AND EVERY TIME ONE HAS POTENTIAL,

#222

⇓

AND EVERY TIME ONE HAS POTENTIAL,

#223

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I GO TOO FAST AND RUIN EVERYTHING.

#224

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LONG STORY SHORT, JAKE'S NOT GETTIN' ANY.

#225

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LONG STORY SHORT, JAKE'S NOT GETTIN' ANY.

#226

⇓

OH, PLEASE. YOU'RE 1/2 A GLASS OF WINE AWAY FROM NUDING UP

#227

⇓

AND DOING YOUR GO-TO MOVE.

#228

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AND DOING YOUR GO-TO MOVE.

#229

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WHICH IS? HER ON TOP, EYES CLOSED

#230

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YELLING, "DON'T LOOK AT ME! DON'T LOOK AT ME!"

#231

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YELLING, "DON'T LOOK AT ME! DON'T LOOK AT ME!"

#232

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SEX IS DISGUSTING.

#233

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I KNOW, SWEETIE.

#234

⇓

I KNOW, SWEETIE.

#235

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LOOK...

#236

⇓

I AM ATTRACTED TO JAKE,

#237

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I AM ATTRACTED TO JAKE,

#238

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BUT I'M AN ADULT.

#239

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I CAN CONTROL MY URGES.

#240

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NO MEANS NO.

#241

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NO MEANS NO.

#242

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(THUD)

#243

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AHEM. GOTTA GO.

#244

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AHEM. GOTTA GO.

#245

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(DOOR CLOSES)

#246

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'NIGHT, ELLIOT.

#247

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'NIGHT, ELLIOT.

#248

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GOOD NIGHT, JAKE.

#249

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I'LL CHECK BACK WITH YOU AFTER I LOOK IN ON A FEW OTHER PATIENTS.

#250

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I'LL CHECK BACK WITH YOU AFTER I LOOK IN ON A FEW OTHER PATIENTS.

#251

⇓

MR. EVANS!

#252

⇓

WHAT THE HELL?

#253

⇓

WHAT THE HELL?

#254

⇓

4, PLEASE.

#255

⇓

TRY NOT TO BREATHE ON THE CHROME, LURCH.

#256

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TRY NOT TO BREATHE ON THE CHROME, LURCH.

#257

⇓

(HONKS HORN)

#258

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OUT OF MY WAY, MINIONS.

#259

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HEY, KID, YOU MIGHT WANT TO PICK UP A PAMPHLET

#260

⇓

HEY, KID, YOU MIGHT WANT TO PICK UP A PAMPHLET

#261

⇓

ON THAT NEW THING CALLED CHEWING.

#262

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HEY, CAN I GET-- (CAR ALARM CHIRPS)

#263

⇓

ONE SECOND.

#264

⇓

ALL: COX! COX! COX! COX! COX! COX! COX!

#265

⇓

ALL: COX! COX! COX! COX! COX! COX! COX!

#266

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I EAT HERE ALL THE TIME.

#267

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I EAT HERE ALL THE TIME.

#268

⇓

OH, YEAH.

#269

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(MAN CHOKING)

#270

⇓

(MAN CHOKING)

#271

⇓

GUY'S CHOKING!

#272

⇓

I CAN'T CLEAR HIS AIRWAY. CALL 911!

#273

⇓

I CAN'T CLEAR HIS AIRWAY. CALL 911!

#274

⇓

LET'S GO! HE'LL BE BRAIN DEAD BY--

#275

⇓

I'M GONNA DO AN EMERGENCY TRACH.

#276

⇓

LET ME GET A KNIFE!

#277

⇓

LET ME GET A KNIFE!

#278

⇓

A CLEAN KNIFE!

#279

⇓

AND CAN I GET A NUMBER 2, NO SOUR CREAM?

#280

⇓

AND CAN I GET A NUMBER 2, NO SOUR CREAM?

#281

⇓

HEY, NOW, GREAT WORK BACK THERE, GANDHI.

#282

⇓

HEY, NOW, GREAT WORK BACK THERE, GANDHI.

#283

⇓

WHAT A STORY, HUH?

#284

⇓

BLOOD, BRAVERY, ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS--

#285

⇓

BLOOD, BRAVERY, ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS--

#286

⇓

IT HAD IT ALL.

#287

⇓

HELL, WHEN YOU TELL CARLA ABOUT THIS,

#288

⇓

THE NEXT TIME YOU TWO HAVE SEX,

#289

⇓

THE NEXT TIME YOU TWO HAVE SEX,

#290

⇓

THERE'S A SLIGHT CHANCE THAT SHE ACTUALLY JUST MIGHT THINK ABOUT YOU.

#291

⇓

THERE'S A SLIGHT CHANCE THAT SHE ACTUALLY JUST MIGHT THINK ABOUT YOU.

#292

⇓

PERRY, PERRY, PERRY,

#293

⇓

YOU KNOW WHAT THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN US IS?

#294

⇓

YOU KNOW WHAT THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN US IS?

#295

⇓

WELL, BESIDES THE FACT THE I CAN CARRY A CONVERSATION

#296

⇓

WITHOUT CHECKING MY OWN REFLECTION EVERY 5 SECONDS?

#297

⇓

WITHOUT CHECKING MY OWN REFLECTION EVERY 5 SECONDS?

#298

⇓

I'M SORRY.

#299

⇓

I GET LOST IN MY EYES.

#300

⇓

I GET LOST IN MY EYES.

#301

⇓

ANYWAY, I'M NOT GONNA TELL ANYONE ABOUT THIS

#302

⇓

BECAUSE UNLIKE YOU...

#303

⇓

BECAUSE UNLIKE YOU...

#304

⇓

(POP)

#305

⇓

UNLIKE YOU, I GOT INTO MEDICINE TO HELP PEOPLE,

#306

⇓

UNLIKE YOU, I GOT INTO MEDICINE TO HELP PEOPLE,

#307

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NOT FOR MY OWN PERSONAL GLORY.

#308

⇓

YEAH. NOW THAT'S JUST A LOAD OF CRAP.

#309

⇓

YEAH. NOW THAT'S JUST A LOAD OF CRAP.

#310

⇓

TURNS OUT THE ONLY REASON ANYBODY EVER DOES ANYTHING

#311

⇓

IS TO FEED THE EGO,

#312

⇓

IS TO FEED THE EGO,

#313

⇓

BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT WE ARE-- EGO MONSTERS.

#314

⇓

MARK MY WORDS--

#315

⇓

MARK MY WORDS--

#316

⇓

EVENTUALLY YOU WILL TELL PEOPLE WHAT YOU DID.

#317

⇓

OH, WE'LL SEE.

#318

⇓

OH, WE'LL SEE.

#319

⇓

YEAH, WE'LL SEE.

#320

⇓

YEAH. WE WILL SEE.

#321

⇓

WE WILL SO SEE!

#322

⇓

WANT TO CALL IT?

#323

⇓

WANT TO CALL IT?

#324

⇓

THAT'S A PRETTY GOOD IDEA.

#325

⇓

SEE YOU LATER.

#326

⇓

I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH LONGER I CAN AVOID SLEEPING WITH JAKE, MAN.

#327

⇓

IT'S EASY. IF YOU EVER FIND YOURSELF

#328

⇓

IT'S EASY. IF YOU EVER FIND YOURSELF

#329

⇓

IN A ROMANTIC SITUATION,

#330

⇓

JUST DO SOMETHING THAT'S A COMPLETE TURN-OFF.

#331

⇓

JUST DO SOMETHING THAT'S A COMPLETE TURN-OFF.

#332

⇓

YOU KNOW, LIKE HOW YOU CAN SWALLOW YOUR WHOLE FIST.

#333

⇓

HUH.

#334

⇓

(MURMURING) NO WAY! SHE CAN'T DO THAT!

#335

⇓

(MURMURING) NO WAY! SHE CAN'T DO THAT!

#336

⇓

CALM DOWN, BOYS. LET ME JUST ASK.

#337

⇓

CALM DOWN, BOYS. LET ME JUST ASK.

#338

⇓

CAN YOU REALLY SWALLOW YOUR WHOLE FIST?

#339

⇓

CAN YOU REALLY SWALLOW YOUR WHOLE FIST?

#340

⇓

YEAH. ALL: OOH...

#341

⇓

SHH...DON'T RUIN IT.

#342

⇓

MEN ARE TWISTED.

#343

⇓

(SIGHS) DO YOU GUYS HAVE ANY OTHER IDEAS?

#344

⇓

(SIGHS) DO YOU GUYS HAVE ANY OTHER IDEAS?

#345

⇓

YOU KNOW WHAT? I REALLY DON'T HAVE TIME

#346

⇓

TO BE DEALING WITH YOUR LITTLE SEX PICKLE.

#347

⇓

REALLY? SHE SPENT 2 YEARS DEALING WITH YOURS.

#348

⇓

HA!

#349

⇓

I HATE THAT THING.

#350

⇓

I HATE THAT THING.

#351

⇓

SIR, YOU PROBABLY HAVEN'T NOTICED THIS,

#352

⇓

BUT THE FLOORS AROUND HERE ARE SO CLEAN

#353

⇓

BUT THE FLOORS AROUND HERE ARE SO CLEAN

#354

⇓

YOU CAN SEE YOURSELF IN THEM.

#355

⇓

HMM...WHY YOU HANDSOME SONG OF A GUN!

#356

⇓

HMM...WHY YOU HANDSOME SONG OF A GUN!

#357

⇓

HAVE YOU LOOKED AT ME LATELY, FELLAS?

#358

⇓

HAVE YOU LOOKED AT ME LATELY, FELLAS?

#359

⇓

OH, BELLISIMO!

#360

⇓

OH, BELLISIMO!

#361

⇓

I KNOW WE HAVEN'T TAKEN CARE OF THAT WHOLE ASBESTOS THING

#362

⇓

FROM THE NINETIES,

#363

⇓

AND I KNOW SOME TOILETS FLUSH UPWARD...

#364

⇓

AND I KNOW SOME TOILETS FLUSH UPWARD...

#365

⇓

GET TO THE POINT. MY BATTERY POWER IS RUNNING LOW.

#366

⇓

GET TO THE POINT. MY BATTERY POWER IS RUNNING LOW.

#367

⇓

THE ONE THING THAT I'M PROUD OF

#368

⇓

IS THAT THESE FLOORS ARE SO CLEAN

#369

⇓

YOU COULD EAT OFF OF 'EM.

#370

⇓

WHY IS THAT?

#371

⇓

IF YOU'RE GOING TO THROW FOOD ON THE FLOOR,

#372

⇓

YOU CAN JUST EAT THERE FROM NOW ON.

#373

⇓

YOU CAN JUST EAT THERE FROM NOW ON.

#374

⇓

SOUP NIGHT WAS THE WORST.

#375

⇓

SOUP NIGHT WAS THE WORST.

#376

⇓

ALL-RIGHTY. POINT PROVING TIME.

#377

⇓

ALL-RIGHTY. POINT PROVING TIME.

#378

⇓

CARLA, I ASSUME TUBBY HUBBY HERE TOLD YOU ALL ABOUT

#379

⇓

WHAT HAPPENED AT THE TACO STAND.

#380

⇓

WHAT HAPPENED AT THE TACO STAND.

#381

⇓

PLEASE TELL ME YOU DIDN'T TRY TO GET FREE GUACAMOLE AGAIN

#382

⇓

PLEASE TELL ME YOU DIDN'T TRY TO GET FREE GUACAMOLE AGAIN

#383

⇓

BY TELLING THEM YOU WERE MARRIED TO ONE OF THEIR PEOPLE.

#384

⇓

NO, I DID NOT!

#385

⇓

NO, I DID NOT!

#386

⇓

BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE THE NEED TO MAKE EVERYTHING ABOUT ME.

#387

⇓

SEE, I'M NOT THAT PATHETIC.

#388

⇓

SEE, I'M NOT THAT PATHETIC.

#389

⇓

SO WHAT DID HAPPEN AT THE TACO STAND?

#390

⇓

OH...

#391

⇓

OH...

#392

⇓

J.D.: (NARRATING) THERE ARE CERTAIN PEOPLE IN LIFE

#393

⇓

WHO KNOW HOW TO PUSH YOUR BUTTONS...

#394

⇓

A GUY STARTED CHOKING SO NATURALLY I SPRUNG INTO ACTION

#395

⇓

A GUY STARTED CHOKING SO NATURALLY I SPRUNG INTO ACTION

#396

⇓

AND GAVE HIM AN EMERGENCY TRACH.

#397

⇓

AND GAVE HIM AN EMERGENCY TRACH.

#398

⇓

(GASPS)

#399

⇓

YEAH.

#400

⇓

J.D.: (NARRATING) SO IT'S IMPORTANT TO HAVE A PLAN

#401

⇓

J.D.: (NARRATING) SO IT'S IMPORTANT TO HAVE A PLAN

#402

⇓

TO DEAL WITH IT,

#403

⇓

EVEN IF IT MEANS NEVER BEING ALONE WITH SOMEONE.

#404

⇓

WOW, THIS BODY HEAT'S A SEXY MOVIE, HUH?

#405

⇓

WOW, THIS BODY HEAT'S A SEXY MOVIE, HUH?

#406

⇓

MMM, DOESN'T KATHLEEN TURNER

#407

⇓

HAVE DYNAMITE NERPS?

#408

⇓

HAVE DYNAMITE NERPS?

#409

⇓

YEAH.

#410

⇓

J.D.: (NARRATING) OF COURSE, IF THAT PERSON IS STUBBORN,

#411

⇓

J.D.: (NARRATING) OF COURSE, IF THAT PERSON IS STUBBORN,

#412

⇓

THERE'S NOT MUCH YOU CAN DO.

#413

⇓

I'M SORRY, SON. I'D LOVE TO HELP YOU OUT,

#414

⇓

I'M SORRY, SON. I'D LOVE TO HELP YOU OUT,

#415

⇓

BUT I COULD GIVE A HORSE'S PATOOTIE ABOUT YOUR FLOORS.

#416

⇓

MY FLOORS ARE MY CHILDREN!

#417

⇓

MY FLOORS ARE MY CHILDREN!

#418

⇓

I'VE GIVEN THEM NAMES!

#419

⇓

I'VE GIVEN THEM NAMES!

#420

⇓

J.D.: (NARRATING) THE KEY IS TO FIGURE OUT A WAY

#421

⇓

TO NOT LET THEM GET THE BEST OF YOU.

#422

⇓

TO NOT LET THEM GET THE BEST OF YOU.

#423

⇓

HONESTLY, IT WAS LIKE DEATH AND I

#424

⇓

HAD A STARING MATCH

#425

⇓

AND, WELL, DEATH BLINKED.

#426

⇓

AND, WELL, DEATH BLINKED.

#427

⇓

ALL OF YOU KNOW I'M NOT ONE TO TOOT MY OWN HORN,

#428

⇓

ALL OF YOU KNOW I'M NOT ONE TO TOOT MY OWN HORN,

#429

⇓

BUT...

#430

⇓

BEEP BEEP.

#431

⇓

BEEP BEEP.

#432

⇓

OK, THAT'S IT! THAT'S IT! I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE! THAT'S IT!

#433

⇓

OK, THAT'S IT! THAT'S IT! I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE! THAT'S IT!

#434

⇓

I SAVED THE GUY, PEOPLE. DEATH BLINKED AT ME!

#435

⇓

I SAVED THE GUY, PEOPLE. DEATH BLINKED AT ME!

#436

⇓

YOU GOT THAT? HE BLINKED AT ME!

#437

⇓

OK?! YEAH-HA-HA-HA!

#438

⇓

OK?! YEAH-HA-HA-HA!

#439

⇓

OH, DOESN'T THAT FEEL SO MUCH BETTER?

#440

⇓

OH, DOESN'T THAT FEEL SO MUCH BETTER?

#441

⇓

I AM SO PROUD OF YOU.

#442

⇓

I AM SO PROUD OF YOU.

#443

⇓

WELL STRUCK.

#444

⇓

SO, SO VERY PROUD.

#445

⇓

OH, YES.

#446

⇓

OH, YES.

#447

⇓

(INTRO TO THE WILLIAM TELL OVERTURE PLAYING)

#448

⇓

AND IT'S JUST THE WAY I CALLED IT.

#449

⇓

AND IT'S JUST THE WAY I CALLED IT.

#450

⇓

GRANDPA GOATEE TO WIN, PEE PANTS TO PLACE,

#451

⇓

AND WRONG-WAY WALLY NOT TO FINISH.

#452

⇓

AND WRONG-WAY WALLY NOT TO FINISH.

#453

⇓

HE DOES HAVE GLAUCOMA.

#454

⇓

WELL, I SHOULD HAVE BEEN TOLD THAT!

#455

⇓

WELL, I SHOULD HAVE BEEN TOLD THAT!

#456

⇓

IT WOULDN'T HAVE MATTERED, JORDAN.

#457

⇓

YOU KNOW WHY? BECAUSE I AM ALWAYS RIGHT.

#458

⇓

YOU KNOW WHY? BECAUSE I AM ALWAYS RIGHT.

#459

⇓

IT'S SOMETHING MY--

#460

⇓

MY OLD PAL GANDHI HERE KNOWS A LITTLE SOMETHING ABOUT

#461

⇓

MY OLD PAL GANDHI HERE KNOWS A LITTLE SOMETHING ABOUT

#462

⇓

BECAUSE YOU SEE, WE ARE BOTH EGOTISTICAL PEAS

#463

⇓

IN A GIANT NARCISSISTIC POD.

#464

⇓

IN A GIANT NARCISSISTIC POD.

#465

⇓

AND TO PROVE MY POINT,

#466

⇓

I AM GOING TO GO AHEAD AND MAKE AN UNNECESSARILY SHOWY

#467

⇓

I AM GOING TO GO AHEAD AND MAKE AN UNNECESSARILY SHOWY

#468

⇓

BUT UNDENIABLY IMPRESSIVE EXIT.

#469

⇓

BUT UNDENIABLY IMPRESSIVE EXIT.

#470

⇓

ROPE TIME, GANDHI.

#471

⇓

ROPE TIME, GANDHI.

#472

⇓

FEEL IT. I'LL SEE YOU LATER.

#473

⇓

I WOULD SO MOCK HIM RIGHT NOW

#474

⇓

I WOULD SO MOCK HIM RIGHT NOW

#475

⇓

IF I WASN'T SO TURNED ON.

#476

⇓

IF I WASN'T SO TURNED ON.

#477

⇓

I'M NOT LIKE THAT, AM I?

#478

⇓

ACTUALLY, TURK, YOU ARE SLIGHTLY COXISH.

#479

⇓

ACTUALLY, TURK, YOU ARE SLIGHTLY COXISH.

#480

⇓

YEAH. I MEAN, THE WAY YOU DO THAT STUPID VICTORY DANCE

#481

⇓

YEAH. I MEAN, THE WAY YOU DO THAT STUPID VICTORY DANCE

#482

⇓

EVERY TIME YOU WIN THE SLIGHTEST ARGUMENT.

#483

⇓

NO, I DON'T.

#484

⇓

MAYBE NOT.

#485

⇓

MAYBE NOT.

#486

⇓

YOU KNOW, TURK, YOU WERE RIGHT.

#487

⇓

NEXT YEAR IS NOT A LEAP YEAR.

#488

⇓

NEXT YEAR IS NOT A LEAP YEAR.

#489

⇓

# OOH #

#490

⇓

# OHH, OOH, OOH #

#491

⇓

# OHH, OOH, OOH #

#492

⇓

DAMN IT!

#493

⇓

DAMN IT!

#494

⇓

THANKS FOR GIVING ME A RIDE TO WORK.

#495

⇓

THANKS FOR GIVING ME A RIDE TO WORK.

#496

⇓

I HOPE YOU DIDN'T MIND J.D. TAGGING ALONG.

#497

⇓

UH-UH. MAYBE NEXT TIME WE'LL LET YOU SIT UP FRONT.

#498

⇓

UH-UH. MAYBE NEXT TIME WE'LL LET YOU SIT UP FRONT.

#499

⇓

WELL, MAYBE NEXT TIME SHE'LL YELL "SHOTGUN" A LITTLE FASTER.

#500

⇓

BYE. BYE.

#501

⇓

BYE. BYE.

#502

⇓

ELLIOT, YOU CAN'T KEEP TAKING J.D. EVERYWHERE YOU GO.

#503

⇓

ELLIOT, YOU CAN'T KEEP TAKING J.D. EVERYWHERE YOU GO.

#504

⇓

SOONER OR LATER YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO TRUST YOURSELF.

#505

⇓

NO, I WON'T, CARLA.

#506

⇓

NO, I WON'T, CARLA.

#507

⇓

THE SYSTEM IS WORKING. TRUST ME.

#508

⇓

I WILL NOT BE HAVING SEX WITH JAKE ANYTIME SOON.

#509

⇓

I WILL NOT BE HAVING SEX WITH JAKE ANYTIME SOON.

#510

⇓

THAT SEEMS LIKE A STRANGE THING

#511

⇓

TO ANNOUNCE TO YOUR FRIENDS.

#512

⇓

TO ANNOUNCE TO YOUR FRIENDS.

#513

⇓

OH...

#514

⇓

I JUST CAME BACK TO GET MY KEYS.

#515

⇓

(THINKING) THIS IS SO AWKWARD.

#516

⇓

(THINKING) THIS IS SO AWKWARD.

#517

⇓

LOOK AWAY. LOOK AWAY!

#518

⇓

LOOK AWAY. LOOK AWAY!

#519

⇓

ALL YOUR REFERENCES CHECKED OUT.

#520

⇓

I NEVER GAVE YOU ANY REFERENCES.

#521

⇓

I NEVER GAVE YOU ANY REFERENCES.

#522

⇓

WHERE THE HELL'S MY RASCAL?

#523

⇓

(BEEP BEEP)

#524

⇓

HOW DO YOU LIKE MY NEW FLOOR WAXER?

#525

⇓

THAT'S NOT YOURS!

#526

⇓

THAT'S MY CAR THING.

#527

⇓

YOU JUST PAINTED IT!

#528

⇓

I DID NOT.

#529

⇓

YOU'VE GOT GREEN PAINT ON YOUR FACE.

#530

⇓

YOU'VE GOT GREEN PAINT ON YOUR FACE.

#531

⇓

I DO N--WELL.... THAT'S NOT PAINT.

#532

⇓

THAT'S PUDDING.

#533

⇓

THAT'S PUDDING.

#534

⇓

YOU KNOW WHAT? EVEN IF THIS WAS THE RASCAL

#535

⇓

YOU WERE RIDING AROUND,

#536

⇓

YOU WERE RIDING AROUND,

#537

⇓

YOU CAN'T PROVE ANYTHING.

#538

⇓

AND IT'S NO GOOD TO HIDE IT FROM ME

#539

⇓

'CAUSE I GOT KEYS TO EVERYTHING.

#540

⇓

'CAUSE I GOT KEYS TO EVERYTHING.

#541

⇓

EXCEPT THE THIRD FLOOR MENTAL WARD.

#542

⇓

SOMEONE STOLE THAT ONE.

#543

⇓

WAS HE SMOKING A GAVEL?

#544

⇓

WAS HE SMOKING A GAVEL?

#545

⇓

SEEMED TO BE.

#546

⇓

WELL, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, I HAVE WORK TO DO--

#547

⇓

WELL, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, I HAVE WORK TO DO--

#548

⇓

FLOORS TO WAX!

#549

⇓

FLOORS TO WAX.

#550

⇓

(ALARM SOUNDING)

#551

⇓

(ALARM SOUNDING)

#552

⇓

WHY DO I HAVE TO HAVE MY GALLBLADDER TAKEN OUT?

#553

⇓

WHY DO I HAVE TO HAVE MY GALLBLADDER TAKEN OUT?

#554

⇓

BECAUSE, MR. HOFFNER, YOU HAVE GALLSTONES.

#555

⇓

BECAUSE, MR. HOFFNER, YOU HAVE GALLSTONES.

#556

⇓

WHY DO I HAVE GALLSTONES?

#557

⇓

DID YOU POSSIBLY EAT A LARGE GALL-BOULDER

#558

⇓

DID YOU POSSIBLY EAT A LARGE GALL-BOULDER

#559

⇓

AND THEN FALL ON YOUR STOMACH?

#560

⇓

DO I NEED MY GALLBLADDER?

#561

⇓

DO I NEED MY GALLBLADDER?

#562

⇓

OH, MY GOD. IT IS A COMPLETELY USELESS ORGAN.

#563

⇓

OH, WAIT A MINUTE, THAT'S NOT COMPLETELY TRUE.

#564

⇓

OH, WAIT A MINUTE, THAT'S NOT COMPLETELY TRUE.

#565

⇓

HERE, IT TURNS OUT WE COULD REMOVE IT

#566

⇓

AND THEN JAM IT IN YOUR MOUTH

#567

⇓

AND THEN JAM IT IN YOUR MOUTH

#568

⇓

TO KEEP YOU FROM ASKING THE SAME QUESTION

#569

⇓

WE'VE BEEN GOING OVER FOR 3 STRAIGHT DAYS.

#570

⇓

WE'VE BEEN GOING OVER FOR 3 STRAIGHT DAYS.

#571

⇓

NOW, COME ON. WE'RE BOTH IN A POSITION TO GET SOME GOOD NEWS HERE.

#572

⇓

YOU'RE GONNA FEEL BETTER, AND I'M GONNA GET THE WORLD'S MOST ANNOYING PATIENT

#573

⇓

YOU'RE GONNA FEEL BETTER, AND I'M GONNA GET THE WORLD'S MOST ANNOYING PATIENT

#574

⇓

THE HELL OUT OF MY HAIR.

#575

⇓

PLUS, YOU'RE IN A BONUS SITUATION.

#576

⇓

PLUS, YOU'RE IN A BONUS SITUATION.

#577

⇓

I HAND-PICKED THE SURGEON THAT YOU'RE GOING TO BE TORTURING.

#578

⇓

I HAND-PICKED THE SURGEON THAT YOU'RE GOING TO BE TORTURING.

#579

⇓

HERE HE IS NOW.

#580

⇓

IS THIS THE GALLBLADDER GUY?

#581

⇓

DO I NEED MY GALLBLADDER?

#582

⇓

DO I NEED MY GALLBLADDER?

#583

⇓

ENJOY.

#584

⇓

ENJOY.

#585

⇓

(SIGHS)

#586

⇓

I'M GIVING UP ON MEN.

#587

⇓

JUST CALL HIM. YOU CAN'T MAKE ME.

#588

⇓

JUST CALL HIM. YOU CAN'T MAKE ME.

#589

⇓

WELL, UNFORTUNATELY FOR YOU, I HAPPEN TO KNOW

#590

⇓

THAT THE GUY YOU'RE DATING IS ALWAYS

#591

⇓

THAT THE GUY YOU'RE DATING IS ALWAYS

#592

⇓

UNDER SPEED DIAL NUMBER ONE.

#593

⇓

(RING) MAN ON PHONE: CONSTIPATION HOTLINE.

#594

⇓

(RING) MAN ON PHONE: CONSTIPATION HOTLINE.

#595

⇓

2 IS YOUR CURRENT BOYFRIEND.

#596

⇓

(RING) JAKE: HELLO?

#597

⇓

FRICK!

#598

⇓

FRICK!

#599

⇓

LISTEN, JAKE...

#600

⇓

LOOK, IT'S NOT THAT I'M NEVER GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU.

#601

⇓

I'M GOING TO, AND BELIEVE ME,

#602

⇓

I'M GOING TO, AND BELIEVE ME,

#603

⇓

WHEN I AM ON TOP WITH MY EYES CLOSED AND SCREAMING,

#604

⇓

YOU'RE GONNA BE HAPPY YOU WAITED.

#605

⇓

YOU'RE GONNA BE HAPPY YOU WAITED.

#606

⇓

OK, I'M GONNA GO AHEAD AND TAKE YOU OFF SPEAKER PHONE.

#607

⇓

OK, I'M GONNA GO AHEAD AND TAKE YOU OFF SPEAKER PHONE.

#608

⇓

(CLICK) HI.

#609

⇓

SO, ARE YOU A GOOD SURGEON?

#610

⇓

SO, ARE YOU A GOOD SURGEON?

#611

⇓

I'M CAPABLE.

#612

⇓

I'M CAPABLE.

#613

⇓

CAPABLE. I'M NOT SURE I WANT THE SURGERY.

#614

⇓

GANDHI...A WORD.

#615

⇓

GANDHI...A WORD.

#616

⇓

LOOK, I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING IN THERE.

#617

⇓

LOOK, I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING IN THERE.

#618

⇓

YOU THINK THAT IF YOU ACT LIKE DR. SAD SACK

#619

⇓

THAT THE PATIENT'S GONNA OPT OUT OF SURGERY,

#620

⇓

THAT THE PATIENT'S GONNA OPT OUT OF SURGERY,

#621

⇓

AND I'LL HAVE TO SPEND YET ANOTHER WEEK

#622

⇓

WITH A MAN WHO HAS SUCH AN UNNATURAL ATTACHMENT TO HIS GALLBLADDER

#623

⇓

WITH A MAN WHO HAS SUCH AN UNNATURAL ATTACHMENT TO HIS GALLBLADDER

#624

⇓

THAT, LEFT TO HIS OWN DEVICES,

#625

⇓

HE WOULD RENT A MOTEL ROOM AND HAVE SEX WITH IT.

#626

⇓

HE WOULD RENT A MOTEL ROOM AND HAVE SEX WITH IT.

#627

⇓

NOW, COME ON. I NEED YOU TO SLING THAT

#628

⇓

"I'M GONNA GET FREAKY-DEEKY WITH MY...CHISEL...

#629

⇓

"I'M GONNA GET FREAKY-DEEKY WITH MY...CHISEL...

#630

⇓

"AND--AND SWIZZLE UP THE DIZZLE

#631

⇓

"AND--AND SWIZZLE UP THE DIZZLE

#632

⇓

FOR MY...BEE-AI-ITCH..."

#633

⇓

STUFF THAT YOU KNOW YOU DO SO WELL.

#634

⇓

STUFF THAT YOU KNOW YOU DO SO WELL.

#635

⇓

SORRY, I'M NOT THAT GUY ANYMORE.

#636

⇓

SORRY, I'M NOT THAT GUY ANYMORE.

#637

⇓

ARE YOU SURE I DON'T NEED MY GALLBLADDER?

#638

⇓

ARE YOU SURE I DON'T NEED MY GALLBLADDER?

#639

⇓

OH...DEAR...LORD.

#640

⇓

OH...DEAR...LORD.

#641

⇓

LOOK, THE REASON I'VE BEEN ACTING SO WEIRD

#642

⇓

LOOK, THE REASON I'VE BEEN ACTING SO WEIRD

#643

⇓

AND HAVING MY FRIENDS HANG AROUND US ALL THE TIME

#644

⇓

IS BECAUSE I REALLY THINK

#645

⇓

IS BECAUSE I REALLY THINK

#646

⇓

THAT WE HAVE A SHOT FOR SOMETHING GREAT,

#647

⇓

AND I DIDN'T WANT TO GO AND RUIN IT

#648

⇓

BY SLEEPING WITH YOU TOO FAST.

#649

⇓

I MEAN, WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO?

#650

⇓

I MEAN, WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO?

#651

⇓

WELL, YOU--YOU COULD HAVE JUST TOLD ME THAT.

#652

⇓

WELL, YOU--YOU COULD HAVE JUST TOLD ME THAT.

#653

⇓

YES, BUT YOU'RE FORGETTING I'M A CRAZY PERSON.

#654

⇓

ELLIOT, PLEASE. LOOK, EVERYBODY HAS THEIR STUFF.

#655

⇓

ELLIOT, PLEASE. LOOK, EVERYBODY HAS THEIR STUFF.

#656

⇓

LIKE ME. I'M AN EMOTIONAL PERSON.

#657

⇓

I'VE ALWAYS HAD TROUBLE EXPRESSING IT.

#658

⇓

I'VE ALWAYS HAD TROUBLE EXPRESSING IT.

#659

⇓

HERE, TELL ME--TELL ME YOU LIKE MY SHIRT.

#660

⇓

HERE, TELL ME--TELL ME YOU LIKE MY SHIRT.

#661

⇓

I LIKE YOUR SHIRT.

#662

⇓

COOL.

#663

⇓

OK, NOW TELL ME MY CHILDHOOD DOG BUSTER

#664

⇓

OK, NOW TELL ME MY CHILDHOOD DOG BUSTER

#665

⇓

WAS NEVER PUT DOWN,

#666

⇓

WAS NEVER PUT DOWN,

#667

⇓

AND WE'RE GONNA BE REUNITED THIS WEEKEND. YOU CAN PARAPHRASE.

#668

⇓

AND WE'RE GONNA BE REUNITED THIS WEEKEND. YOU CAN PARAPHRASE.

#669

⇓

UH, BUSTER'S COMING HOME.

#670

⇓

COOL.

#671

⇓

COOL.

#672

⇓

(LAUGHS) SEE?

#673

⇓

YOU SEE, THERE'S NO DIFFERENCE,

#674

⇓

AND BUSTER MEANT THE WORLD TO ME.

#675

⇓

AND BUSTER MEANT THE WORLD TO ME.

#676

⇓

I REALLY LIKE YOU, ELLIOT, BUT I'M AN ADULT.

#677

⇓

I WANT THIS TO BE AN ADULT RELATIONSHIP.

#678

⇓

I WANT THIS TO BE AN ADULT RELATIONSHIP.

#679

⇓

IF YOU WANT TO BE PATIENT AND NOT HAVE SEX RIGHT AWAY,

#680

⇓

IF YOU WANT TO BE PATIENT AND NOT HAVE SEX RIGHT AWAY,

#681

⇓

THEN THAT'S FINE...

#682

⇓

BECAUSE I THINK WE HAVE A CHANCE OR SOMETHING GREAT, TOO.

#683

⇓

BECAUSE I THINK WE HAVE A CHANCE OR SOMETHING GREAT, TOO.

#684

⇓

I WANT YOU SO BAD RIGHT NOW.

#685

⇓

I WANT YOU SO BAD RIGHT NOW.

#686

⇓

COOL.

#687

⇓

GUESS I SHOULD GET GOIN'.

#688

⇓

YOU PAGED ME IN THE MIDDLE OF A BUSY DAY.

#689

⇓

THIS BETTER BE IMPORTANT.

#690

⇓

THIS BETTER BE IMPORTANT.

#691

⇓

WHAT WERE YOU DOING?

#692

⇓

SLEEPING IN A MOP CLOSET.

#693

⇓

YOU FORCED ME TO DO THIS.

#694

⇓

YOU FORCED ME TO DO THIS.

#695

⇓

EITHER WE FIGURE OUT A WAY TO SHARE THE RASCAL

#696

⇓

EITHER WE FIGURE OUT A WAY TO SHARE THE RASCAL

#697

⇓

OR NEITHER ONE OF US GETS IT.

#698

⇓

IT'S YOUR MOVE.

#699

⇓

YOU'VE GOT ABOUT 8 SECONDS

#700

⇓

YOU'VE GOT ABOUT 8 SECONDS

#701

⇓

BEFORE THIS THING BECOMES A PILE OF RUBBLE.

#702

⇓

5 SECONDS.

#703

⇓

5 SECONDS.

#704

⇓

COME ON. THIS IS GONNA HURT YOU

#705

⇓

MORE THAN IT HURTS ME.

#706

⇓

I DOUBT IT.

#707

⇓

I DOUBT IT.

#708

⇓

YOU MOVED MY CAR THERE, DIDN'T YOU?

#709

⇓

YOU MOVED MY CAR THERE, DIDN'T YOU?

#710

⇓

LIKE I SAID... A KEY TO EVERYTHING.

#711

⇓

LIKE I SAID... A KEY TO EVERYTHING.

#712

⇓

WHOOPS.

#713

⇓

I KNOW IT SOUNDS CORNY,

#714

⇓

BUT WE REALLY MADE A BIG DIFFERENCE

#715

⇓

BUT WE REALLY MADE A BIG DIFFERENCE

#716

⇓

IN THAT PERSON'S LIFE IN THERE.

#717

⇓

I HOPE SHE DIGS HER NEW CANS.

#718

⇓

I HOPE SHE DIGS HER NEW CANS.

#719

⇓

YOU DID GREAT WORK.

#720

⇓

YOU KNOW, IT'S NOT ABOUT ME.

#721

⇓

YOU KNOW, IT'S NOT ABOUT ME.

#722

⇓

ASSISTED 5. I'LL TAKE IT.

#723

⇓

WALK WITH ME.

#724

⇓

WALK WITH ME.

#725

⇓

I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT YOU, OF ALL PEOPLE,

#726

⇓

ARE THE ONE I HAVE TO TELL THIS TO.

#727

⇓

EGO IS GOOD, YA DUMBASS.

#728

⇓

EGO IS GOOD, YA DUMBASS.

#729

⇓

IT'S THE REASON THAT GUY WANTS YOU TO BE HIS SURGEON,

#730

⇓

IT'S THE REASON THAT GUY WANTS YOU TO BE HIS SURGEON,

#731

⇓

IT'S THE REASON THAT SHE IS BORDERLINE ATTRACTED TO YOU,

#732

⇓

AND IT'S THE REASON THAT SHE SO DESPERATELY WANTS TO MARRY YOU.

#733

⇓

AND IT'S THE REASON THAT SHE SO DESPERATELY WANTS TO MARRY YOU.

#734

⇓

PAGE ME WHEN YOU'RE HEADED HOME. (SNAPS FINGERS)

#735

⇓

BOTTOM LINE, IN MEDICINE,

#736

⇓

1/2 OF PULLING IT OFF IS BELIEVING YOU'RE THE BIGGEST, SMARTEST

#737

⇓

1/2 OF PULLING IT OFF IS BELIEVING YOU'RE THE BIGGEST, SMARTEST

#738

⇓

BADASS OF A DOCTOR TO EVER WALK THESE HALLS.

#739

⇓

YOU WANT TO SEE HOW YOU END UP

#740

⇓

IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE THAT?

#741

⇓

(STRAINING, GRUNTING)

#742

⇓

(STRAINING, GRUNTING)

#743

⇓

I DON'T KNOW HOW IT HAPPENED AGAIN, BUT IT DID.

#744

⇓

I DON'T KNOW HOW IT HAPPENED AGAIN, BUT IT DID.

#745

⇓

J.D.: (NARRATING) AS I GANGSTA-LEANED DOWN THE HALLWAY

#746

⇓

J.D.: (NARRATING) AS I GANGSTA-LEANED DOWN THE HALLWAY

#747

⇓

IN THE RAD NEW WHEELS I FOUND BY THE DUMPSTER,

#748

⇓

I COULDN'T HELP BUT THINK HOW EGO AFFECTS EVERYTHING.

#749

⇓

I COULDN'T HELP BUT THINK HOW EGO AFFECTS EVERYTHING.

#750

⇓

(ELECTRICITY BUZZES)

#751

⇓

(ELECTRICITY BUZZES)

#752

⇓

J.D.: (NARRATING) WITHOUT A HEALTHY DOSE OF IT,

#753

⇓

YOU CAN'T TRUST YOURSELF TO DO WHAT YOU REALLY WANT.

#754

⇓

YOU CAN'T TRUST YOURSELF TO DO WHAT YOU REALLY WANT.

#755

⇓

I DON'T THINK THAT WE'RE GOING TOO QUICK AT ALL.

#756

⇓

BY THE WAY, WHAT DO YOU DO?

#757

⇓

BY THE WAY, WHAT DO YOU DO?

#758

⇓

I MAKE AND DISTRIBUTE HUNGARIAN PORNOGRAPHY.

#759

⇓

OH...

#760

⇓

OH...

#761

⇓

I'M A REAL ESTATE DEVELOPER.

#762

⇓

OH, THANK GOD.

#763

⇓

OH, THANK GOD.

#764

⇓

J.D.: (NARRATING) OF COURSE, WITH TOO MUCH EGO

#765

⇓

YOU CAN END UP LOSING SOMETHING YOU WISH YOU STILL HAD.

#766

⇓

YOU CAN END UP LOSING SOMETHING YOU WISH YOU STILL HAD.

#767

⇓

(TIRES SQUEAK)

#768

⇓

YOU OK?

#769

⇓

I'M NOT USED TO WALKING FROM MY OFFICE

#770

⇓

I'M NOT USED TO WALKING FROM MY OFFICE

#771

⇓

TO THE NURSES STATION.

#772

⇓

J.D.: (NARRATING) BUT WITH THE RIGHT AMOUNT,

#773

⇓

J.D.: (NARRATING) BUT WITH THE RIGHT AMOUNT,

#774

⇓

NOTHING CAN GET IN YOUR WAY.

#775

⇓

I AM GOING TO YANK THAT GALLBLADDER OUT OF YOU SO FAST

#776

⇓

I AM GOING TO YANK THAT GALLBLADDER OUT OF YOU SO FAST

#777

⇓

THAT YOUR SPLEEN IS GONNA SAY TO YOUR KIDNEY,

#778

⇓

"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO FRANK?!"

#779

⇓

"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO FRANK?!"

#780

⇓

THAT'S RIGHT, YOUR KIDNEY NAMED YOUR GALLBLADDER FRANK.

#781

⇓

THAT'S RIGHT, YOUR KIDNEY NAMED YOUR GALLBLADDER FRANK.

#782

⇓

I DON'T WANT YOU TO WORRY ABOUT THIS ANOTHER SECOND,

#783

⇓

MR. HOFFNER, OK? 'CAUSE I'M THE MAN!

#784

⇓

MR. HOFFNER, OK? 'CAUSE I'M THE MAN!

#785

⇓

I AM THE MAN.

#786

⇓

(HONKS HORN)

#787

⇓

(HONKS HORN)

#788

⇓

OH...LOOK AT YOU! HA HA!

#789

⇓

(HONKS HORN)

#790

⇓

HIGH 5. YEOWW!

#791

⇓

HIGH 5. YEOWW!

#792

⇓

HA HA HA HA HA HA!

#793

⇓