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Season 4, Episode 23 — My Faith in Humanity
J.D.: (NARRATING) ONE OF THE REASONS TURK AND I ARE SO POPULAR AROUND HERE
#1
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J.D.: (NARRATING) ONE OF THE REASONS TURK AND I ARE SO POPULAR AROUND HERE
#2
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IS THAT WE LOVE HELPING OUR FELLOW DOCTORS.
#3
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HEY, HOOCH.
#4
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HEY, HOOCH.
#5
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THAT'S MY NAME. DON'T WEAR IT OUT.
#6
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CLASSIC HOOCH.
#7
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CLASSIC HOOCH.
#8
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LISTEN, EVEN THOUGH I'M NOT GONNA BE PAID,
#9
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I'M GONNA COVER YOUR SHIFT AT THE CLINIC TONIGHT
#10
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SO YOU CAN DO MR. SCHINDLER'S ENDOSCOPY.
#11
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SO YOU CAN DO MR. SCHINDLER'S ENDOSCOPY.
#12
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AND I'M GONNA CROSS-COVER ALL OF DR. TURNER'S PATIENTS
#13
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SO TURNER CAN ASSIST YOU ON THE PROCEDURE.
#14
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SO TURNER CAN ASSIST YOU ON THE PROCEDURE.
#15
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WHY ARE YOU GUYS GOING THROUGH SO MUCH TROUBLE?
#16
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WHY ARE YOU GUYS GOING THROUGH SO MUCH TROUBLE?
#17
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WHO'S DOING THE ENDOSCOPY ON MR. SCHINDLER?
#18
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TURNER AND HOOCH! TURNER AND HOOCH!
#19
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TURNER AND HOOCH! TURNER AND HOOCH!
#20
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HA HA HA HA HA! WHOO! WHOO! WHOO!
#21
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WHOO! WHOO! ALL RIGHT!
#22
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WHOO! WHOO! ALL RIGHT!
#23
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WERE YOU JUST HOOCH? I WAS--YEAH.
#24
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EVERYONE HATES YOU GUYS.
#25
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EVERYONE HATES YOU GUYS.
#26
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OH, HOOCH.
#27
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HOOCH IS CRAZY!
#28
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J.D.: (NARRATING) AS MUCH AS HOOCH LOVED US,
#29
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J.D.: (NARRATING) AS MUCH AS HOOCH LOVED US,
#30
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IT WAS EVEN BETTER TO SEE TURK HAPPY.
#31
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SEE, HE AND CARLA HAD RECENTLY STARTED COUPLES THERAPY,
#32
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SEE, HE AND CARLA HAD RECENTLY STARTED COUPLES THERAPY,
#33
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AND I'M NOT SURE HE WAS ENJOYING IT.
#34
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CARLA SAYS YOU CRY AFTER YOU ORGASM.
#35
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WOULD YOU LIKE TO TALK ABOUT THAT?
#36
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WOULD YOU LIKE TO TALK ABOUT THAT?
#37
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NO, NOT REALLY.
#38
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J.D.: (NARRATING) I DECIDED TO HELP THEIR MARRIAGE BY MOVING OUT,
#39
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J.D.: (NARRATING) I DECIDED TO HELP THEIR MARRIAGE BY MOVING OUT,
#40
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PARTLY BECAUSE CARLA AND I HAD ACCIDENTALLY KISSED AND MESSED THINGS UP,
#41
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PARTLY BECAUSE CARLA AND I HAD ACCIDENTALLY KISSED AND MESSED THINGS UP,
#42
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BUT MOSTLY BECAUSE IT WAS TIME.
#43
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STILL, FINDING AN APARTMENT HAS NOT BEEN EASY.
#44
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STILL, FINDING AN APARTMENT HAS NOT BEEN EASY.
#45
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I'M SO SORRY ABOUT YOUR FATHER.
#46
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I'M SURE HE LIVED A WONDERFUL LIFE
#47
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I'M SURE HE LIVED A WONDERFUL LIFE
#48
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AT 14 MAPLE DRIVE, APARTMENT 4B.
#49
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AT 14 MAPLE DRIVE, APARTMENT 4B.
#50
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WAS HE LUCKY ENOUGH TO ENJOY A WASHER AND DRIER IN HIS UNIT
#51
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WAS HE LUCKY ENOUGH TO ENJOY A WASHER AND DRIER IN HIS UNIT
#52
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WHILE HE WAS ALIVE?
#53
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EVER MENTION ANY HOT NEIGHBORS?
#54
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EVER MENTION ANY HOT NEIGHBORS?
#55
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WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THE ON-CALL ROOM?
#56
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(CRYING) NOTHING.
#57
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I GOTTA GO. OK.
#58
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I GOTTA GO. OK.
#59
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J.D.: (NARRATING) THANKFULLY, TURK HAD GOTTEN OVER
#60
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THE WHOLE KISSING INCIDENT.
#61
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THE WHOLE KISSING INCIDENT.
#62
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STILL, THERE'S A WEIRD NEW THING HE DOES
#63
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WHENEVER HE SAYS GOOD-BYE.
#64
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OK, I'LL SEE YOU AROUND.
#65
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OK, I'LL SEE YOU AROUND.
#66
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AAH!
#67
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PEACE, HOMEY.
#68
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PEACE, HOMEY.
#69
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UH, DO YOU GUYS THINK THAT CLARISSA IS MORE ATTRACTIVE THAN ME?
#70
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YES.
#71
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WHO'S...CLARISSA?
#72
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SHE'S THE SHORT, BALDING WOMAN IN THE PHARMACY.
#73
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SHE'S THE SHORT, BALDING WOMAN IN THE PHARMACY.
#74
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OH, THEN DEFINITELY YES.
#75
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OH, THEN DEFINITELY YES.
#76
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SHE JUST GOT ENGAGED, BAD COMB-OVER AND ALL.
#77
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WHEN CLARISSA BEATS YOU TO THE ALTAR,
#78
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WHEN CLARISSA BEATS YOU TO THE ALTAR,
#79
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IT MIGHT BE TIME TO HANG UP THE OVARIES.
#80
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TOO MEAN.
#81
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HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO MET A GUY WORTH A DAMN
#82
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HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO MET A GUY WORTH A DAMN
#83
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WORKING IN THIS PLACE?!
#84
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ARE THE GUYS HERE REALLY THAT BAD?
#85
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(PANTING) 12 MINUTES DOOR TO DOOR!
#86
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THAT'S A PERSONAL BEST, SUCKOS!
#87
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THAT'S A PERSONAL BEST, SUCKOS!
#88
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NURSE, SUCTION.
#89
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NURSE, SUCTION.
#90
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THE PATIENT'S NOT EVEN HERE YET.
#91
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THE PATIENT'S NOT EVEN HERE YET.
#92
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I KNOW.
#93
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I JUST WISH ONCE A CUTE, THOUGHTFUL GUY WOULD WALK THROUGH THE DOOR.
#94
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I JUST WISH ONCE A CUTE, THOUGHTFUL GUY WOULD WALK THROUGH THE DOOR.
#95
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HI. HI.
#96
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CAN I GET SOME HELP? MI NEIGHBOR FAINTED,
#97
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CAN I GET SOME HELP? MI NEIGHBOR FAINTED,
#98
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AND SHE DOESN'T LIKE AMBULANCES,
#99
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SO I BROUGHT HER IN MYSELF.
#100
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LET ME TAKE THIS ONE, JENNY. YOU'VE GOT A PHONE CALL.
#101
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LET ME TAKE THIS ONE, JENNY. YOU'VE GOT A PHONE CALL.
#102
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OH. I'LL CALL THEM BACK.
#103
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YOUR MOM DIED.
#104
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YOUR MOM DIED.
#105
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WHAT?!
#106
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HER MOM'S FINE. IT'S JUST A LITTLE RUNNING JOKE WE HAVE.
#107
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HER MOM'S FINE. IT'S JUST A LITTLE RUNNING JOKE WE HAVE.
#108
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SHE'LL BE LAUGHING LATER.
#109
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GOTCHA, JENNY!
#110
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GOTCHA, JENNY!
#111
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(ELLIOT CHUCKLES)
#112
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DEAD MOM JOKE'S ALWAYS FUNNY.
#113
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DEAD MOM JOKE'S ALWAYS FUNNY.
#114
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# I CAN'T DO THIS ALL ON MY OWN #
#115
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# I CAN'T DO THIS ALL ON MY OWN #
#116
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# NO, I'M NO #
#117
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# I'M NO SUPERMAN #
#118
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# I'M NO SUPERMAN #
#119
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# I'M NO SUPERMAN #
#120
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# I'M NO SUPERMAN #
#121
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SO, BETTY, YOU'RE BACK WITH US,
#122
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AND I SEE YOU BROUGHT A YOUNG, HANDSOME BUCK WITH YOU.
#123
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AND I SEE YOU BROUGHT A YOUNG, HANDSOME BUCK WITH YOU.
#124
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WHAT, ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE ME JEALOUS?
#125
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YOU KNOW YOU'RE MY GAL.
#126
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YOU KNOW YOU'RE MY GAL.
#127
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WHO ARE YOU?
#128
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I'M DR. DORIAN.
#129
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I'M THE ONE THAT'S TAKEN CARE OF YOU
#130
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I'M THE ONE THAT'S TAKEN CARE OF YOU
#131
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THE LAST 19 TIMES YOU'VE BEEN IN HERE.
#132
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(QUIETLY) SHE'S GETTING A LITTLE FORGETFUL.
#133
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(QUIETLY) SHE'S GETTING A LITTLE FORGETFUL.
#134
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YOU KNOW HOW THAT HAPPENS. ARE YOU A RELATIVE?
#135
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UH, NO. NEIGHBOR.
#136
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WELL, I MET HER ONCE.
#137
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WELL, I MET HER ONCE.
#138
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IT WAS RAINING, AND YOU WERE WEARING A BLUE SWEATER.
#139
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IT WAS RAINING, AND YOU WERE WEARING A BLUE SWEATER.
#140
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THAT'S A LOVELY MEMORY, BETTY.
#141
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YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE IS A LOVELY MEMORY?
#142
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YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE IS A LOVELY MEMORY?
#143
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THAT SUNDAY I SPENT 8 HOURS HELPING YOU JOIN
#144
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THE WILFORD BRIMLEY FAN CLUB.
#145
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THE WILFORD BRIMLEY FAN CLUB.
#146
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YOU DON'T REMEMBER THAT, DO YOU?
#147
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IF EVERYTHING'S ALL RIGHT HERE,
#148
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I'M KINDA ON MY WAY TO THE AIRPORT.
#149
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I'M KINDA ON MY WAY TO THE AIRPORT.
#150
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I'M GOING KAYAKING WITH SOME FRIENDS IN NEW ZEALAND.
#151
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COOL. SO, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO THERE?
#152
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MOSTLY KAYAKING.
#153
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OH...
#154
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OH...
#155
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SO, BETTY, I'LL CHECK ON YOU
#156
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THE SECOND I GET BACK, OK? YOU GET BETTER NOW.
#157
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THE SECOND I GET BACK, OK? YOU GET BETTER NOW.
#158
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SO, ELLIOT, THE FIRST THING
#159
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WE'RE GONNA NEED TO DO IS--
#160
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WE'RE GONNA NEED TO DO IS--
#161
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IS DR. REID COMING BACK?
#162
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IS DR. REID COMING BACK?
#163
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OH, DON'T WORRY ABOUT HER, BETTY.
#164
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YOU'RE IN GOOD HANDS WITH DR. DORIAN.
#165
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WHO'S THAT?
#166
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WHO'S THAT?
#167
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THAT'S ME, BETTY. DR. DORIAN.
#168
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COCOON. WILFORD BRIMLEY,
#169
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COCOON. WILFORD BRIMLEY,
#170
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STEVE GUTTENBERG THE WHOLE DAY. NO?
#171
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HEY, JAKE...
#172
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SO, YOU'RE PROBABLY RUSHING HOME
#173
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TO WIPE THE OLD-PERSON SMELL OFF
#174
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TO WIPE THE OLD-PERSON SMELL OFF
#175
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BEFORE YOUR TRIP, HUH?
#176
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EXCUSE ME?
#177
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I'M JUST KIDDING. I LOVE OLD PEOPLE.
#178
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I'M JUST KIDDING. I LOVE OLD PEOPLE.
#179
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STILL, THERE'S NO DENYING THEY HAVE A DISTINCTIVE SMELL.
#180
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I MEAN, IT'S NOTHING BAD.
#181
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I MEAN, IT'S NOTHING BAD.
#182
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IT'S LIKE A... GENERAL MUSTINESS.
#183
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LIKE, YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU GET YOUR CAST TAKEN OFF,
#184
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LIKE, YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU GET YOUR CAST TAKEN OFF,
#185
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AND...SKIN MOLD
#186
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WELL, I GOT A FLIGHT TO CATCH.
#187
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YOU GUYS NEED ME TO SIGN ANYTHING?
#188
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YOU GUYS NEED ME TO SIGN ANYTHING?
#189
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NO. YOU'RE GOOD.
#190
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OK, THEN.
#191
⇓
OK, THEN.
#192
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HATS OFF THERE, BARBIE.
#193
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HATS OFF THERE, BARBIE.
#194
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THE WAS ONE POTENT COMBINATION
#195
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OF VERBAL DIARRHEA AND STUNNED SILENCE.
#196
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OF VERBAL DIARRHEA AND STUNNED SILENCE.
#197
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YOU SHOULD HAVE JUST ASKED HIM OUT. MEN LOVE THAT.
#198
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NO, CARLA, MEN DON'T LOVE THAT.
#199
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NO, CARLA, MEN DON'T LOVE THAT.
#200
⇓
IT TURNS OUT WE DON'T LOVE PICNICS, FOREPLAY, CANDLES,
#201
⇓
IT TURNS OUT WE DON'T LOVE PICNICS, FOREPLAY, CANDLES,
#202
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BATHS, PHOTO ALBUMS, OR WHEN YOU DRIVE SO THAT WE CAN RELAX.
#203
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AND, AS ALWAYS, WE'RE NOT THE BIG ON HUGH JACKMAN.
#204
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AND, AS ALWAYS, WE'RE NOT THE BIG ON HUGH JACKMAN.
#205
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THE ONLY THING MEN ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT AS FAR AS DATING IS CONCERNED
#206
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THE ONLY THING MEN ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT AS FAR AS DATING IS CONCERNED
#207
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IS THE CHASE.
#208
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IF YOU WANT THAT GUY TO LOOK YOUR WAY--
#209
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IF YOU WANT THAT GUY TO LOOK YOUR WAY--
#210
⇓
LISTEN TO ME CAREFULLY--
#211
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IGNORE THE LIVING HELL OUT OF HIM.
#212
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IGNORE THE LIVING HELL OUT OF HIM.
#213
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THAT'S THE WORST ADVICE I'VE EVER HEARD.
#214
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GOOD POINT, CARLA.
#215
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GOOD POINT, CARLA.
#216
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SAY, YOU HAPPEN TO HAVE ANY OTHER GEMS
#217
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YOU WANT TO LAY ON US BEFORE YOU RUN OFF TO COUPLES THERAPY
#218
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YOU WANT TO LAY ON US BEFORE YOU RUN OFF TO COUPLES THERAPY
#219
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TO SIFT THROUGH THE WRECKAGE THAT IS THE FIRST YEAR OF YOUR MARRIAGE...DO YA?
#220
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LOOK, DR. COX, I'M SURE THAT YOU ARE FANTASTIC
#221
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AT PICKING UP MEN. REALLY.
#222
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AT PICKING UP MEN. REALLY.
#223
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HA HA!
#224
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BUT I CAN HANDLE THIS ONE ON MY OWN, THANK YOU.
#225
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BUT I CAN HANDLE THIS ONE ON MY OWN, THANK YOU.
#226
⇓
OW! (SCOFFS)
#227
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SOME PEOPLE JUST CANNOT TAKE A GOOD "YOUR MOM IS DEAD" JOKE,
#228
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SOME PEOPLE JUST CANNOT TAKE A GOOD "YOUR MOM IS DEAD" JOKE,
#229
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YOU KNOW?
#230
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AH.
#231
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ANYWAY, I WORRY THAT SOMETIMES WHEN I'M TENSE,
#232
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ANYWAY, I WORRY THAT SOMETIMES WHEN I'M TENSE,
#233
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I CAN BE A LITTLE CONDESCENDING.
#234
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I CAN BE A LITTLE CONDESCENDING.
#235
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ACTUALLY, I'VE NOTICED THAT.
#236
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HAVE YOU REALLY NOTICED IT, MR. THERAPIST?!
#237
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HAVE YOU REALLY NOTICED IT, MR. THERAPIST?!
#238
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CHRIS, WHAT'S GOING ON WITH YOU?
#239
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CHRIS, WHAT'S GOING ON WITH YOU?
#240
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NOTHING WORTH TALKING ABOUT.
#241
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THIS IS YOUR THIRD VISIT,
#242
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THIS IS YOUR THIRD VISIT,
#243
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AND YOU'VE YET TO SAY ANYTHING REAL
#244
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ABOUT HOW YOU'RE FEELING.
#245
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THAT'S BECAUSE I DON'T THINK THERE'S ANYTHING WRONG
#246
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THAT'S BECAUSE I DON'T THINK THERE'S ANYTHING WRONG
#247
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WITH OUR RELATIONSHIP.
#248
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I THINK YOU PRETEND THAT EVERYTHING'S OK,
#249
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I THINK YOU PRETEND THAT EVERYTHING'S OK,
#250
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EVEN THOUGH DEEP DOWN INSIDE,
#251
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A LOT OF THINGS ARE BOTHERING YOU.
#252
⇓
SO COME ON,
#253
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SO COME ON,
#254
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TELL ME WHAT YOU'RE THINKING RIGHT NOW.
#255
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I'M STARING AT THAT PICTURE ABOVE YOUR HEAD.
#256
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I'M STARING AT THAT PICTURE ABOVE YOUR HEAD.
#257
⇓
IS THAT ONE OF THOSE PSYCHOLOGICAL INK BLOT TESTS
#258
⇓
WHERE I TRY AND FIGURE OUT WHAT IT IS?
#259
⇓
WHERE I TRY AND FIGURE OUT WHAT IT IS?
#260
⇓
BECAUSE IF SO...
#261
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I'M SEEING A DUCK.
#262
⇓
LET'S TAKE A BREAK.
#263
⇓
LET'S TAKE A BREAK.
#264
⇓
OK.
#265
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BUT, HOOCH, IF THE PATIENT JUST HAS
#266
⇓
BUT, HOOCH, IF THE PATIENT JUST HAS
#267
⇓
SIMPLE CELLULITIS,
#268
⇓
WHY AREN'T THE ANTIBIOTICS WORKING?
#269
⇓
WHY AREN'T THE ANTIBIOTICS WORKING?
#270
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DAMN IT, TURNER, IT JUST DOESN'T MAKE SENSE!
#271
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DAMN IT, TURNER, IT JUST DOESN'T MAKE SENSE!
#272
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J.D.: (NARRATING) EVEN THOUGH I HAD CREATED
#273
⇓
A SUPER MEDICAL CRIME-FIGHTING TEAM,
#274
⇓
I FELT LOUSY.
#275
⇓
I FELT LOUSY.
#276
⇓
SEE, I HAD JUST TOLD BETTY
#277
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THAT HER LUNGS HAD FINALLY GIVEN OUT,
#278
⇓
AND THAT SHE WASN'T GONNA LEAVE THE HOSPITAL THIS TIME.
#279
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AND THAT SHE WASN'T GONNA LEAVE THE HOSPITAL THIS TIME.
#280
⇓
SO...
#281
⇓
WHAT ARE MY CHOICES?
#282
⇓
WHAT ARE MY CHOICES?
#283
⇓
WELL, WE COULD PUT YOU ON A BREATHING MACHINE,
#284
⇓
WELL, WE COULD PUT YOU ON A BREATHING MACHINE,
#285
⇓
BUT IT'S UNLIKELY YOU'D EVER COME OFF OF IT.
#286
⇓
BUT IT'S UNLIKELY YOU'D EVER COME OFF OF IT.
#287
⇓
OR I COULD JUST MAKE SURE
#288
⇓
YOU'RE AS COMFORTABLE AS POSSIBLE.
#289
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J.D.: (NARRATING) "AS COMFORTABLE AS POSSIBLE."
#290
⇓
J.D.: (NARRATING) "AS COMFORTABLE AS POSSIBLE."
#291
⇓
I'VE SAID THAT A MILLION TIMES,
#292
⇓
BUT I STILL HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT MEANS.
#293
⇓
BUT I STILL HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT MEANS.
#294
⇓
HERE YOU GO, BETTY.
#295
⇓
THAT'S EVERY COTTON BALL IN THE HOSPITAL.
#296
⇓
OH...
#297
⇓
OH...
#298
⇓
(GIDDILY) I AM VERY, VERY COMFORTABLE!
#299
⇓
(GIDDILY) I AM VERY, VERY COMFORTABLE!
#300
⇓
HA HA HA HA HA HA.
#301
⇓
THEN YOU'RE READY TO DIE.
#302
⇓
THEN YOU'RE READY TO DIE.
#303
⇓
LOOK, BETTY, IS THERE ANYONE
#304
⇓
LOOK, BETTY, IS THERE ANYONE
#305
⇓
YOU'D LIKE TO TALK THIS OVER WITH?
#306
⇓
SHE JUST WANTS TO TALK TO YOU FOR A MINUTE.
#307
⇓
YEAH? ABOUT WHAT?
#308
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JUST ABOUT HOW AND WHEN SHE SHOULD DIE.
#309
⇓
OH, THAT'S NOT A PROBLEM.
#310
⇓
OH, THAT'S NOT A PROBLEM.
#311
⇓
I COUNSEL MOST OF MY RANDOM NEIGHBORS
#312
⇓
ON THEIR DEATHBEDS.
#313
⇓
LOOK, THIS WOMAN IS ALONE, SHE'S DEPRESSED,
#314
⇓
LOOK, THIS WOMAN IS ALONE, SHE'S DEPRESSED,
#315
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AND FOR SOME REASON SHE FEELS LIKE SHE'S CONNECTED WITH YOU.
#316
⇓
AND FOR SOME REASON SHE FEELS LIKE SHE'S CONNECTED WITH YOU.
#317
⇓
LOOK, I'M SORRY. I WOULDN'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.
#318
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THAT'S GREAT. KEEP IT LIGHT.
#319
⇓
OPEN WITH A JOKE, AND BEFORE YOU KNOW IT,
#320
⇓
OPEN WITH A JOKE, AND BEFORE YOU KNOW IT,
#321
⇓
YOU AND YOUR RAFT WILL BE ON A 4-HOUR TRIP TO NEW ZEALAND.
#322
⇓
NO, IT'S MORE LIKE 14 HOURS.
#323
⇓
NO, IT'S MORE LIKE 14 HOURS.
#324
⇓
(THINKING) OH, NO, YOU'RE DANGEROUSLY CLOSE TO REVEALING
#325
⇓
THAT GEOGRAPHY IS YOUR ACHILLES HEEL.
#326
⇓
THAT GEOGRAPHY IS YOUR ACHILLES HEEL.
#327
⇓
SAY SOMETHING SMART TO REGAIN CREDIBILITY.
#328
⇓
VESA-VEGAL SYNCOPY IS MEDIATED BY
#329
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THE AUTONOMIC NERVOUS SYSTEM.
#330
⇓
AND BETTY NEEDS YOU, PAL.
#331
⇓
AND BETTY NEEDS YOU, PAL.
#332
⇓
SHE DOES. COME ON. DO IT.
#333
⇓
YOU'LL FEEL GOOD. TRUST ME.
#334
⇓
YOU'LL FEEL GOOD. TRUST ME.
#335
⇓
TRUST YOU? YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE NEW ZEALAND IS.
#336
⇓
YOU CAN DANCE YOUR WAY THERE FROM OLD ZEALAND.
#337
⇓
YOU CAN DANCE YOUR WAY THERE FROM OLD ZEALAND.
#338
⇓
YOU AN IDIOT?
#339
⇓
ELLIOT...
#340
⇓
MY NEIGHBOR FAINTED, TOO.
#341
⇓
MY NEIGHBOR FAINTED, TOO.
#342
⇓
HEY, YOU WANT TO GO CLUBBING TONIGHT?
#343
⇓
AND I DON'T MEAN DANCING.
#344
⇓
I MEAN GOING UP TO THE ROOF AND KILLING RATS.
#345
⇓
I MEAN GOING UP TO THE ROOF AND KILLING RATS.
#346
⇓
JANITOR, I THOUGHT WE WERE DONE WITH THIS.
#347
⇓
I KNOW. THOUGHT I'D GIVE IT A SHOT.
#348
⇓
I KNOW. THOUGHT I'D GIVE IT A SHOT.
#349
⇓
UHH...
#350
⇓
JUST PUT HER BACK IN HER ROOM.
#351
⇓
JUST PUT HER BACK IN HER ROOM.
#352
⇓
SHE'S NOT A PATIENT.
#353
⇓
I GOT HER AT THE MALL.
#354
⇓
BETTER GET YOU BACK TO THE FOOD COURT, HUH?
#355
⇓
BETTER GET YOU BACK TO THE FOOD COURT, HUH?
#356
⇓
YOUR HUSBAND'S PROBABLY COME TO BY NOW.
#357
⇓
(THINKING) OH, MY GOD, HERE HE COMES.
#358
⇓
OK, THIS IS EASY. JUST COMPLIMENT HIM.
#359
⇓
OK, THIS IS EASY. JUST COMPLIMENT HIM.
#360
⇓
TELL HIM HE HAS A SQUARE HEAD.
#361
⇓
THAT'S NOT A COMPLIMENT. WHAT SHAPE IS A COMPLIMENT?
#362
⇓
THAT'S NOT A COMPLIMENT. WHAT SHAPE IS A COMPLIMENT?
#363
⇓
TRIANGLE? UH, PYRAMID?
#364
⇓
CIRCLE. CIRCLE HEAD. OH, MY GOD,
#365
⇓
CIRCLE. CIRCLE HEAD. OH, MY GOD,
#366
⇓
YOU'RE STUCK ON SHAPES, AND SQUARE HEAD'S ALMOST HERE!
#367
⇓
TO HELL WITH IT. JUST DO WHAT DR. COX SAID AND IGNORE HIM.
#368
⇓
TO HELL WITH IT. JUST DO WHAT DR. COX SAID AND IGNORE HIM.
#369
⇓
HEY, ELLIOT.
#370
⇓
HMM.
#371
⇓
HMM.
#372
⇓
THAT GIRL'S KIND CUTE.
#373
⇓
WHAT'S HER STORY?
#374
⇓
WHAT'S HER STORY?
#375
⇓
SHE'S A DUDE. YEAH?
#376
⇓
GOTTA LOOK AT THE ADAM'S APPLE, BUDDY.
#377
⇓
GOTTA LOOK AT THE ADAM'S APPLE, BUDDY.
#378
⇓
COUPLES THERAPY IS KILLING ME.
#379
⇓
I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU DO IT--
#380
⇓
MAKE LOVE WITH YOUR LADY IN FRONT OF SOME OLD DUDE WHO'S FILMING YOU?
#381
⇓
MAKE LOVE WITH YOUR LADY IN FRONT OF SOME OLD DUDE WHO'S FILMING YOU?
#382
⇓
THAT'S NOT COUPLES THERAPY, TODD.
#383
⇓
THEN WHAT DID I DO?
#384
⇓
THEN WHAT DID I DO?
#385
⇓
YOU DID AMATEUR PORN.
#386
⇓
SWEET.
#387
⇓
J.D. YOU GOT A SEC?
#388
⇓
SURE. I'LL BE WITH YOU IN A MINUTE, MAN.
#389
⇓
OK.
#390
⇓
OK.
#391
⇓
SO CHECK THIS OUT.
#392
⇓
OUR THERAPIST SAYS I'M THE TYPE OF GUY
#393
⇓
WHO PRETENDS EVERYTHING'S OK,
#394
⇓
WHO PRETENDS EVERYTHING'S OK,
#395
⇓
EVEN WHEN I'M UPSET DEEP DOWN INSIDE.
#396
⇓
NO, I THINK THAT'S TRUE. I MEAN, IF YOU LOOK AT THE WHOLE CARLA KISSING THING,
#397
⇓
NO, I THINK THAT'S TRUE. I MEAN, IF YOU LOOK AT THE WHOLE CARLA KISSING THING,
#398
⇓
I THINK INTELLECTUALLY YOU MOVED ON,
#399
⇓
BUT EMOTIONALLY YOU'RE STILL UPSET.
#400
⇓
BUT EMOTIONALLY YOU'RE STILL UPSET.
#401
⇓
YOU'LL GET THERE, THOUGH, PAL.
#402
⇓
I'M NOT UPSET.
#403
⇓
I'M NOT UPSET.
#404
⇓
REALLY? OH, OK...
#405
⇓
I'LL SEE YOU LATER. BYE.
#406
⇓
OW! YOU SEE?! SEE WHAT?
#407
⇓
OW! YOU SEE?! SEE WHAT?
#408
⇓
LET'S TRY IT AGAIN.
#409
⇓
I'LL SEE YOU LATER, BUDDY. BYE.
#410
⇓
I'LL SEE YOU LATER, BUDDY. BYE.
#411
⇓
BYE. OW! ALWAYS THE SAME SPOT!
#412
⇓
IT'S LIKE YOUR FINGERS ARE STONE.
#413
⇓
IT'S LIKE YOUR FINGERS ARE STONE.
#414
⇓
LAST TIME. I'LL SEE YOU LATER, B--
#415
⇓
HEY! LOOK AT YOURSELF.
#416
⇓
HEY! LOOK AT YOURSELF.
#417
⇓
I'VE BEEN HITTING YOU?
#418
⇓
I'VE BEEN HITTING YOU?
#419
⇓
YEAH. YOU'RE LIKE THE BROWN HULK.
#420
⇓
HEY, HOW'S IT GOING IN HERE, YOU TWO?
#421
⇓
WELL, PRETTY GOOD. PRETTY GOOD.
#422
⇓
WELL, PRETTY GOOD. PRETTY GOOD.
#423
⇓
WE--WE TALKED ABOUT HER PAST.
#424
⇓
BETTY EVEN LET ME IN ON A FEW
#425
⇓
OF HER ROMANTIC TRYSTS
#426
⇓
OF HER ROMANTIC TRYSTS
#427
⇓
FROM HER YOUNGER DAYS.
#428
⇓
ARE YOU FAMILIAR WITH MR. DAVID BRINKLEY?
#429
⇓
NO WAY. YEAH.
#430
⇓
NO WAY. YEAH.
#431
⇓
BETTY.
#432
⇓
THEN WHEN WE FINALLY GOT DOWN TO TALKING FOR REAL,
#433
⇓
THEN WHEN WE FINALLY GOT DOWN TO TALKING FOR REAL,
#434
⇓
WELL, IT BECAME PRETTY OBVIOUS
#435
⇓
THAT BETTY HAD ALREADY MADE A DECISION.
#436
⇓
THAT BETTY HAD ALREADY MADE A DECISION.
#437
⇓
OK.
#438
⇓
OK.
#439
⇓
J.D.: (NARRATING) THE THING THAT IMPRESSED ME MOST ABOUT JAKE,
#440
⇓
BESIDES HIS PERFECTLY SQUARE HEAD,
#441
⇓
BESIDES HIS PERFECTLY SQUARE HEAD,
#442
⇓
WAS THAT HE FACED THIS WHOLE BETTY THING STRAIGHT ON.
#443
⇓
WAS THAT HE FACED THIS WHOLE BETTY THING STRAIGHT ON.
#444
⇓
# HE THINKS I'M CUTE #
#445
⇓
# HE THINKS I'M CUTE... #
#446
⇓
J.D.: (NARRATING) HE DIDN'T HIDE BECAUSE
#447
⇓
J.D.: (NARRATING) HE DIDN'T HIDE BECAUSE
#448
⇓
HE WAS AFRAID TO ADMIT SOMEONE WAS RIGHT...
#449
⇓
# ...I'M CUTE... # BARBIE!
#450
⇓
# ...I'M CUTE... # BARBIE!
#451
⇓
WHY SO HAPPY?
#452
⇓
NO REASON.
#453
⇓
J.D.: (NARRATING) HE DIDN'T RUN BECAUSE HE WAS SCARED OF
#454
⇓
FACING HIS OWN FEELINGS.
#455
⇓
FACING HIS OWN FEELINGS.
#456
⇓
BABY, I'M NOT GONNA BE ABLE
#457
⇓
TO MAKE THERAPY TONIGHT.
#458
⇓
I GOT SURGERY.
#459
⇓
I GOT SURGERY.
#460
⇓
FINE.
#461
⇓
J.D.: (NARRATING) OF COURSE, HE WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN ABLE TO DO IT
#462
⇓
J.D.: (NARRATING) OF COURSE, HE WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN ABLE TO DO IT
#463
⇓
IF IT WEREN'T FOR HIS SECRET WEAPON--
#464
⇓
DR. JOHN DORIAN.
#465
⇓
WHAT? WHAT?
#466
⇓
WHAT? WHAT?
#467
⇓
YOU JUST SAID YOUR NAME IN A WEIRD KIND OF SUMMING UP WAY.
#468
⇓
NO, I DIDN'T, JAKE.
#469
⇓
NO, I DIDN'T, JAKE.
#470
⇓
OH, SO YOU'RE JAKE.
#471
⇓
UH, AS I UNDERSTAND IT,
#472
⇓
UH, AS I UNDERSTAND IT,
#473
⇓
YOU JUST TALKED MY SISTER INTO ENDING HER LIFE.
#474
⇓
LONG STORY SHORT.
#475
⇓
LONG STORY SHORT.
#476
⇓
I'M A LAWYER. I'M SUING YOU.
#477
⇓
ONCE AGAIN. SISTER DYING, BROTHER LAWYER,
#478
⇓
ONCE AGAIN. SISTER DYING, BROTHER LAWYER,
#479
⇓
SUING YOU!
#480
⇓
SEE, THAT'S SUMMING UP IN A WEIRD WAY.
#481
⇓
YEAH.
#482
⇓
YEAH.
#483
⇓
"BROTHER LAWYER..." THAT'S IT.
#484
⇓
I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING.
#485
⇓
I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING.
#486
⇓
EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE FINE. YOU JUST TRUST ME.
#487
⇓
IS THAT HIM?
#488
⇓
YES. HERE'S TED,
#489
⇓
YES. HERE'S TED,
#490
⇓
OUR BRILLIANT HOSPITAL ATTORNEY.
#491
⇓
SHARP AS A TACK.
#492
⇓
SHARP AS A TACK.
#493
⇓
MARK MY WORD, JAKE, WE'RE GONNA TAKE
#494
⇓
EVERY LAST CENT YOU HAVE!
#495
⇓
NO, NO, TED. WE'RE ON HIS SIDE.
#496
⇓
OH. HERE'S MY CARD.
#497
⇓
OH. HERE'S MY CARD.
#498
⇓
THIS IS A POST-IT.
#499
⇓
I DON'T GET REAL CARDS UNTIL I WIN A CASE.
#500
⇓
I DON'T GET REAL CARDS UNTIL I WIN A CASE.
#501
⇓
GO TAKE A NAP, TED.
#502
⇓
HE SPELLED "ATTORNEY" WRONG.
#503
⇓
"BUY GROCERIES, KILL SELF."
#504
⇓
"BUY GROCERIES, KILL SELF."
#505
⇓
JUST ADMIT IT. YOU'VE BEEN SENT FROM THE FUTURE
#506
⇓
TO DESTROY ME.
#507
⇓
TO DESTROY ME.
#508
⇓
I AM NOT FROM THE FUTURE, JAKE.
#509
⇓
GESUNDHEIT, CAROL.
#510
⇓
AH-CHOO! YES! IT FINALLY WORKED!
#511
⇓
AH-CHOO! YES! IT FINALLY WORKED!
#512
⇓
WHAT ARE THE ODDS?
#513
⇓
I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE ODDS ARE, J.D.
#514
⇓
WHAT I DO KNOW IS I'M ABOUT TO GO DOWN TO MY TRUCK,
#515
⇓
WHAT I DO KNOW IS I'M ABOUT TO GO DOWN TO MY TRUCK,
#516
⇓
GET MY KAYAK PADDLE, AND GO GREG BARTON ON YOUR ASS.
#517
⇓
GET MY KAYAK PADDLE, AND GO GREG BARTON ON YOUR ASS.
#518
⇓
WHO'S GREG BARTON? HE'S A FAMOUS KAYAKER.
#519
⇓
OH, GREG BARTON.
#520
⇓
OH, GREG BARTON.
#521
⇓
I HATE YOU. J.D.
#522
⇓
I KNOW.
#523
⇓
I KNOW.
#524
⇓
DR. COX, THIS IS THE MOST PAINFUL THING I'VE EVER DONE,
#525
⇓
DR. COX, THIS IS THE MOST PAINFUL THING I'VE EVER DONE,
#526
⇓
AND I WAS A CUTTER FOR A WEEK IN HIGH SCHOOL.
#527
⇓
MY SHOP TEACHER THOUGHT SCARS WERE SEXY,
#528
⇓
MY SHOP TEACHER THOUGHT SCARS WERE SEXY,
#529
⇓
BUT THAT'S A WHOLE OTHER STORY.
#530
⇓
THE POINT IS, YOUR ADVICE REALLY WORKED WITH JAKE,
#531
⇓
THE POINT IS, YOUR ADVICE REALLY WORKED WITH JAKE,
#532
⇓
AND I'D REALLY APPRECIATE IT IF YOU'D GIVE ME SOME MORE HELP.
#533
⇓
OH, NO PROBLEM, BARBIE.
#534
⇓
LET ME JUST FINISH WRITING THIS PRESCRIPTION,
#535
⇓
AND YOU'LL BE ALL SQUARED AWAY.
#536
⇓
AND YOU'LL BE ALL SQUARED AWAY.
#537
⇓
THIS IS A PRESCRIPTION FOR "NO."
#538
⇓
THIS IS A PRESCRIPTION FOR "NO."
#539
⇓
CORRECTOMUNDO. TO BE TAKEN WITH FOOD EVERY SATURDAY NIGHT
#540
⇓
WHILE YOU'RE EATING ALONE.
#541
⇓
WHILE YOU'RE EATING ALONE.
#542
⇓
I DON'T THINK YOU UNDERSTAND THE SEVERITY
#543
⇓
OF THE SITUATION HERE.
#544
⇓
I AM DANGEROUSLY CLOSE TO GIVING UP MEN ALL TOGETHER.
#545
⇓
I AM DANGEROUSLY CLOSE TO GIVING UP MEN ALL TOGETHER.
#546
⇓
THEN ON BEHALF OF MEN EVERYWHERE--
#547
⇓
AND I DO MEAN EVERYWHERE,
#548
⇓
AND I DO MEAN EVERYWHERE,
#549
⇓
INCLUDING THE ONES IN THE LITTLE MUD HUTS--
#550
⇓
LET ME BE THE FIRST TO SAY THANKS AND HALLELUJAH.
#551
⇓
LET ME BE THE FIRST TO SAY THANKS AND HALLELUJAH.
#552
⇓
ELLIOT, DO YOU SEE THE PROBLEM WITH
#553
⇓
TRYING TO APPEAL TO ITS HUMAN SIDE?
#554
⇓
TRYING TO APPEAL TO ITS HUMAN SIDE?
#555
⇓
HE DOESN'T HAVE ONE.
#556
⇓
EXACTLY. BUT WHAT DOES HE HAVE?
#557
⇓
EXACTLY. BUT WHAT DOES HE HAVE?
#558
⇓
A SHAVED CHEST, A CLOSETFUL OF TINY T-SHIRTS,
#559
⇓
AND THE EYES OF A MADMAN.
#560
⇓
OHHHH, I'M SORRY.
#561
⇓
OHHHH, I'M SORRY.
#562
⇓
THE CORRECT ANSWER SHE WAS LOOKING FOR
#563
⇓
IS A GIANT EGO.
#564
⇓
IS A GIANT EGO.
#565
⇓
I HAVE A GIANT EGO.
#566
⇓
DAMN IT! I KNEW THAT.
#567
⇓
WOULD YOU JUST APPEAL TO IT
#568
⇓
WOULD YOU JUST APPEAL TO IT
#569
⇓
SO I CAN GO GET SOMETHING TO EAT?
#570
⇓
YOU'RE AMAZING.
#571
⇓
YOU'RE AMAZING.
#572
⇓
AND I'M IN.
#573
⇓
DR. KELSO, YOU CAN'T DO THAT.
#574
⇓
I DIDN'T.
#575
⇓
I DIDN'T.
#576
⇓
YOUR FRIEND TURKLETON DID.
#577
⇓
BUT I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT.
#578
⇓
BUT I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT.
#579
⇓
HEH HEH HEH HEH. YOU LOOK RIDICULOUS.
#580
⇓
HEH HEH HEH HEH. YOU LOOK RIDICULOUS.
#581
⇓
I THOUGHT WE WERE DOING MOUSTACHES ON SUNDAY.
#582
⇓
I THOUGHT WE WERE DOING MOUSTACHES ON SUNDAY.
#583
⇓
I DIDN'T DO THIS. KELSO DID!
#584
⇓
YOU INVITED KELSO TO MOUSTACHE SUNDAY?
#585
⇓
YOU INVITED KELSO TO MOUSTACHE SUNDAY?
#586
⇓
ENOUGH WITH THE MOUSTACHES, DUDE.
#587
⇓
ARE YOU RESPONSIBLE FOR BREAKING UP TURNER AND HOOCH?
#588
⇓
ARE YOU RESPONSIBLE FOR BREAKING UP TURNER AND HOOCH?
#589
⇓
I NEEDED AN EXCUSE TO GET OUT OF COUPLES COUNSELING.
#590
⇓
DUDE, I CAN'T OPEN UP, MAN.
#591
⇓
DUDE, I CAN'T OPEN UP, MAN.
#592
⇓
I JUST CAN'T DO IT.
#593
⇓
BESIDES, THIS WAY NO ONE GETS HURT.
#594
⇓
BESIDES, THIS WAY NO ONE GETS HURT.
#595
⇓
WE HAD A HELL OF A RUN, MAN.
#596
⇓
WE HAD A HELL OF A RUN, MAN.
#597
⇓
JUST GET OUT OF HERE.
#598
⇓
MAYBE I SHOULD JUST GO TALK TO HIM.
#599
⇓
FORGET DENNIS. HE'S A HORRIBLE PERSON. OK?
#600
⇓
FORGET DENNIS. HE'S A HORRIBLE PERSON. OK?
#601
⇓
WE'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO CHANGE HIS MIND.
#602
⇓
WE NEED TO FOCUS ON BETTY, OK?
#603
⇓
WE NEED TO FOCUS ON BETTY, OK?
#604
⇓
WE'LL JUST HAVE HER EXPLAIN HOW SHE FEELS. PROBLEM SOLVED.
#605
⇓
"BETTY'S IN A COMA."
#606
⇓
"BETTY'S IN A COMA."
#607
⇓
YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M GONNA TALK TO DENNIS.
#608
⇓
HE SEEMS LIKE A REASONABLE GUY.
#609
⇓
HE SEEMS LIKE A REASONABLE GUY.
#610
⇓
HEY, JAKE. HOW'S IT GOIN'?
#611
⇓
HEY, JAKE. HOW'S IT GOIN'?
#612
⇓
OH, I'VE HAD BETTER DAYS. HOW ARE YOU?
#613
⇓
OH, I'VE HAD BETTER DAYS. HOW ARE YOU?
#614
⇓
LISTEN TO ME, BARBACIOUS,
#615
⇓
YOU GOTTA STAY THE COURSE HERE.
#616
⇓
YOU GOTTA STAY THE COURSE HERE.
#617
⇓
YOU GOTTA KEEP IGNORING HIM.
#618
⇓
BUT I'M ALREADY
#619
⇓
HOW DO I IGNORE HIM MORE?
#620
⇓
HOW DO I IGNORE HIM MORE?
#621
⇓
AH, PIECE OF CAKE. FIRST YOU ENGAGE HIM,
#622
⇓
THEN YOU IGNORE HIM.
#623
⇓
THEN YOU IGNORE HIM.
#624
⇓
ELLIOT? I SAID HOW ARE YOU?
#625
⇓
I ACTUALLY DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS, OK?
#626
⇓
I ACTUALLY DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS, OK?
#627
⇓
I'M A DOCTOR.
#628
⇓
BUT YOU ASKED ME HOW I WAS.
#629
⇓
BUT YOU ASKED ME HOW I WAS.
#630
⇓
YEAH, TRYING TO SAVE LIVES HERE.
#631
⇓
IT'S NOT ALWAYS ABOUT YOU.
#632
⇓
BUDDY, YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE THE DAY I'M HAVING.
#633
⇓
QUIET, JACKASS. WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ELLIOT
#634
⇓
QUIET, JACKASS. WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ELLIOT
#635
⇓
TO MAKE HER RUN OFF LIKE THAT? 'CAUSE IF YOU HURT HER--
#636
⇓
I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING.
#637
⇓
I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING.
#638
⇓
EVERYONE AROUND HERE IS CRAZY.
#639
⇓
THAT'S NOT TRUE.
#640
⇓
LET ME PUT DOWN MY BAG OF RATS
#641
⇓
LET ME PUT DOWN MY BAG OF RATS
#642
⇓
AND EXPLAIN SOMETHING TO YOU.
#643
⇓
A BAG OF RATS-- ARE THOSE ALIVE?
#644
⇓
A BAG OF RATS-- ARE THOSE ALIVE?
#645
⇓
MOST OF 'EM ARE.
#646
⇓
I PUT A DEAD ONE IN THE MIDDLE.
#647
⇓
THAT WAY ALL THE LIVE ONES GET A GOOD LOOK AT HIM...
#648
⇓
THAT WAY ALL THE LIVE ONES GET A GOOD LOOK AT HIM...
#649
⇓
THEY START TOEING THAT LINE. KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
#650
⇓
I VERY MUCH DON'T.
#651
⇓
I VERY MUCH DON'T.
#652
⇓
IT'S PRETTY SIMPLE.
#653
⇓
IT'S PRETTY SIMPLE.
#654
⇓
TAKE A CANVAS BAG...
#655
⇓
JAILBREAK!
#656
⇓
LOOK, YOU'RE GONNA DO WHATEVER YOU WANT WITH YOUR SISTER,
#657
⇓
BUT JAKE'S JUST TRYING TO HELP.
#658
⇓
HE'S A STAND-UP GUY, AND I THINK YOU SHOULD LEAVE HIM ALONE.
#659
⇓
HE'S A STAND-UP GUY, AND I THINK YOU SHOULD LEAVE HIM ALONE.
#660
⇓
IF YOU DO I THINK IT WILL BE DY-NO-MITE.
#661
⇓
IF YOU DO I THINK IT WILL BE DY-NO-MITE.
#662
⇓
SORRY, I WAS JUST WATCHING GOOD TIMES IN THE DOCTORS LOUNGE.
#663
⇓
SORRY, I WAS JUST WATCHING GOOD TIMES IN THE DOCTORS LOUNGE.
#664
⇓
YEAH. I'M GONNA SCREW HIM TO THE WALL.
#665
⇓
CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS GUY?
#666
⇓
SON, LOOK AROUND.
#667
⇓
SON, LOOK AROUND.
#668
⇓
THERE'S AN OLD MAN WITH ALZHEIMER'S WHO
#669
⇓
NO ONE BOTHERS TO COME VISIT.
#670
⇓
NO ONE BOTHERS TO COME VISIT.
#671
⇓
THIS MORNING I HAD A CHAT WITH A WOMAN
#672
⇓
WHO REFUSES TO STOP USING COCAINE,
#673
⇓
WHO REFUSES TO STOP USING COCAINE,
#674
⇓
EVEN THOUGH SHE'S 6 MONTHS PREGNANT.
#675
⇓
AND JUST LAST WEEK I SAW AN OLDER WOMAN FALL AND BREAK HER HIP
#676
⇓
AND JUST LAST WEEK I SAW AN OLDER WOMAN FALL AND BREAK HER HIP
#677
⇓
BECAUSE SOME GUY WAS TOO BUSY TO HOLD THE DOOR OPEN FOR HER.
#678
⇓
SO YOU LAUGHED AND POINTED WHEN SHE FELL.
#679
⇓
SO YOU LAUGHED AND POINTED WHEN SHE FELL.
#680
⇓
I DIDN'T SAY IT WASN'T FUNNY.
#681
⇓
I JUST SAID IT HAPPENED.
#682
⇓
I JUST SAID IT HAPPENED.
#683
⇓
COME ON. WHEN'S THE LAST TIME
#684
⇓
YOU SAW A GLIMPSE OF HUMANITY IN THIS PLACE?
#685
⇓
YOU SAW A GLIMPSE OF HUMANITY IN THIS PLACE?
#686
⇓
J.D.: (NARRATING) KELSO HAD A POINT.
#687
⇓
I MEAN, IN THE OUTSIDE WORLD,
#688
⇓
YOU'LL OCCASIONALLY SEE A STREAM OF CARS
#689
⇓
YOU'LL OCCASIONALLY SEE A STREAM OF CARS
#690
⇓
DRIVE BY AN OLD WOMAN WITH A FLAT TIRE,
#691
⇓
BUT AROUND HERE, EVERY TIME YOU ROUND A CORNER...
#692
⇓
BUT AROUND HERE, EVERY TIME YOU ROUND A CORNER...
#693
⇓
SHE FELL AGAIN.
#694
⇓
SHE FELL AGAIN.
#695
⇓
J.D.: (NARRATING) ANYWAY, I KNEW WHAT I HAD TO DO.
#696
⇓
JUST GO, JAKE.
#697
⇓
JUST GO, JAKE.
#698
⇓
NO ONE HERE KNOWS YOUR LAST NAME.
#699
⇓
IF ANYTHING HAPPENS, THEY'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO FIND YOU.
#700
⇓
GO ENJOY YOUR LITTLE RAFTING THING IN NEW ZEALAND.
#701
⇓
GO ENJOY YOUR LITTLE RAFTING THING IN NEW ZEALAND.
#702
⇓
WHICH, INCIDENTALLY, IS 10,000 MILES EAST OF AUSTRALIA
#703
⇓
WHICH, INCIDENTALLY, IS 10,000 MILES EAST OF AUSTRALIA
#704
⇓
AND FAMOUS FOR ALCOHOLISM AND CLAM CHOWDER.
#705
⇓
AND FAMOUS FOR ALCOHOLISM AND CLAM CHOWDER.
#706
⇓
I'VE BEEN BRUSHING UP ON MY NEW ZEALAND.
#707
⇓
YOU'VE BEEN BRUSHING UP ON NEW ENGLAND.
#708
⇓
YOU'VE BEEN BRUSHING UP ON NEW ENGLAND.
#709
⇓
WELL, GO...ANYWAY.
#710
⇓
WHEREVER IT IS YOU'RE RAFTING.
#711
⇓
WHEREVER IT IS YOU'RE RAFTING.
#712
⇓
(DR. COX WHISTLES) NEWBIE, WHERE'S HE GOING?!
#713
⇓
HE JUST LEFT.
#714
⇓
HE JUST LEFT.
#715
⇓
BARBIE!
#716
⇓
GO GET HIM!
#717
⇓
GO GET HIM!
#718
⇓
I...BELIEVE IN YOU.
#719
⇓
NO, YOU DON'T.
#720
⇓
NO, YOU DON'T.
#721
⇓
YOU JUST WANT ME TO GO AND EMBARRASS MYSELF SO YOU CAN LAUGH AT ME.
#722
⇓
IT'S JUST LIKE THE TIME YOU TOLD ME THE HOSPITAL FUND RAISER
#723
⇓
WAS A COSTUME PARTY.
#724
⇓
I WALKED INTO A BLACK-TIE DINNER
#725
⇓
DRESSED AS CLARENCE THOMAS.
#726
⇓
DRESSED AS CLARENCE THOMAS.
#727
⇓
I WAS IN A COSTUME, TOO.
#728
⇓
YOU WORE AN ARMANI TUX.
#729
⇓
YOU WORE AN ARMANI TUX.
#730
⇓
I WENT AS SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T MAKE A FOOL OUT OF HIMSELF.
#731
⇓
I WENT AS SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T MAKE A FOOL OUT OF HIMSELF.
#732
⇓
HOW'D YOU NOT GET THAT?
#733
⇓
OH!
#734
⇓
OH!
#735
⇓
THANK YOU.
#736
⇓
I JUST GOT MY SISTER INTO THE HOSPITAL ACROSS TOWN,
#737
⇓
I JUST GOT MY SISTER INTO THE HOSPITAL ACROSS TOWN,
#738
⇓
SO I CAN FINALLY GET HER OUT OF THIS HELL HOLE.
#739
⇓
SO I CAN FINALLY GET HER OUT OF THIS HELL HOLE.
#740
⇓
HEY, I PERSONALLY SEE TO IT
#741
⇓
THAT EVERY INCH OF THIS BUILDING
#742
⇓
IS UP TO THE HIGHEST STANDARDS AND CODES.
#743
⇓
IS UP TO THE HIGHEST STANDARDS AND CODES.
#744
⇓
(SQUEAKING)
#745
⇓
WELL, THAT'S JUST BAD TIMING.
#746
⇓
WELL, THAT'S JUST BAD TIMING.
#747
⇓
GET BACK HERE. SORRY.
#748
⇓
GET BACK HERE. SORRY.
#749
⇓
J.D.: (NARRATING) AND THEN SOMETHING SURPRISING HAPPENED.
#750
⇓
WELL, LOOK WHO'S BACK.
#751
⇓
LOOK, BUDDY, I--
#752
⇓
I BARELY KNOW YOUR SISTER,
#753
⇓
AND I CERTAINLY DON'T KNOW YOU,
#754
⇓
AND I CERTAINLY DON'T KNOW YOU,
#755
⇓
BUT LIKE IT OR NOT, SHE TOLD ME WHAT SHE WANTED,
#756
⇓
AND I'M GONNA HONOR THAT.
#757
⇓
ANYWAY, I'M GONNA GO AHEAD AND STAY HERE
#758
⇓
TILL I CAN FIGURE OUT A WAY
#759
⇓
TO MAKE YOU UNDERSTAND THAT,
#760
⇓
TO MAKE YOU UNDERSTAND THAT,
#761
⇓
EVEN IF I HAVE TO GET MYSELF A LAWYER.
#762
⇓
NOT YOU.
#763
⇓
NOT YOU.
#764
⇓
THEY'RE SMART, THEY ARE ORGANIZED,
#765
⇓
THEY'RE SMART, THEY ARE ORGANIZED,
#766
⇓
AND THEY'VE GOT MY KEYS.
#767
⇓
J.D.: (NARRATING) IT'S AMAZING HOW A SELFLESS GESTURE
#768
⇓
CAN AFFECT SO MANY PEOPLE.
#769
⇓
CAN AFFECT SO MANY PEOPLE.
#770
⇓
ONE MAN SAW SOMEONE WHO DIDN'T RUN AWAY FROM A PROBLEM,
#771
⇓
AND FOUND THE COURAGE TO DO THE SAME.
#772
⇓
I GOT SOMETHING I'D LIKE TO SHARE TODAY.
#773
⇓
I GOT SOMETHING I'D LIKE TO SHARE TODAY.
#774
⇓
REALLY? YEAH.
#775
⇓
I DON'T LIKE IT WHEN CARLA PINCHES MY NIPPLES
#776
⇓
I DON'T LIKE IT WHEN CARLA PINCHES MY NIPPLES
#777
⇓
WHEN WE'RE HAVING SEX.
#778
⇓
BABY, THAT'S--THAT'S ONE OF THE REASONS WHY I CRY,
#779
⇓
BABY, THAT'S--THAT'S ONE OF THE REASONS WHY I CRY,
#780
⇓
BECAUSE YOU PINCH THEM TOO HARD...AND IT HURTS.
#781
⇓
BECAUSE YOU PINCH THEM TOO HARD...AND IT HURTS.
#782
⇓
J.D.: (NARRATING) ONE MAN WAS PUSHED TO MAKE THE RIGHT DECISION.
#783
⇓
JUST MAKE HER AS COMFORTABLE AS POSSIBLE.
#784
⇓
JUST MAKE HER AS COMFORTABLE AS POSSIBLE.
#785
⇓
J.D.: (NARRATING) AND ANOTHER MAN REALIZED
#786
⇓
IT'S OK TO BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING FOR ONCE.
#787
⇓
IT'S OK TO BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING FOR ONCE.
#788
⇓
(SIGHS)
#789
⇓
WELL, HE'S DEFINITELY LEAVING FOR GOOD THIS TIME THERE, BARBIE.
#790
⇓
WELL, HE'S DEFINITELY LEAVING FOR GOOD THIS TIME THERE, BARBIE.
#791
⇓
I'D, UH--I SAY GO FOR IT.
#792
⇓
WHY WON'T YOU LEAVE ME ALONE?
#793
⇓
WHY WON'T YOU LEAVE ME ALONE?
#794
⇓
OH, I DON'T KNOW.
#795
⇓
MAYBE BECAUSE THE NHL IS ON STRIKE,
#796
⇓
MAYBE BECAUSE THE NHL IS ON STRIKE,
#797
⇓
AND I'M NOT GETTING MY FILL OF TOOTHLESS MEN
#798
⇓
KNOCKING THE HELL OUT OF EACH OTHER.
#799
⇓
OR MAYBE BECAUSE FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 4 YEARS,
#800
⇓
OR MAYBE BECAUSE FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 4 YEARS,
#801
⇓
I'D ACTUALLY LIKE TO SEE YOU HAPPY FOR A CHANGE.
#802
⇓
BELIEVE WHATEVER YOU WANT. I DON'T REALLY CARE.
#803
⇓
BELIEVE WHATEVER YOU WANT. I DON'T REALLY CARE.
#804
⇓
JAKE THE SNAKE IS BEARING DOWN ON YOU,
#805
⇓
JAKE THE SNAKE IS BEARING DOWN ON YOU,
#806
⇓
AND IF I WERE YOU, I'D STEP UP TO HIM,
#807
⇓
LOOK HIM STRAIGHT IN THE EYE WITH THOSE BEAUTIFUL BLUES
#808
⇓
LOOK HIM STRAIGHT IN THE EYE WITH THOSE BEAUTIFUL BLUES
#809
⇓
AND...INVITE HIM OUT FOR A CUP OF COFFEE BEFORE HE ESCAPES.
#810
⇓
AND...INVITE HIM OUT FOR A CUP OF COFFEE BEFORE HE ESCAPES.
#811
⇓
HEY, UH...
#812
⇓
CAN I BUY YOU A CUP OF COFFEE
#813
⇓
BEFORE YOU ESCAPE?
#814
⇓
BEFORE YOU ESCAPE?
#815
⇓
WHAT NOW?
#816
⇓
I MEAN--I MEAN GO.
#817
⇓
YEAH. THAT'D BE NICE.
#818
⇓
YEAH. THAT'D BE NICE.
#819
⇓
GREAT.
#820
⇓
AH, THAT'S A CUTE COUPLE.
#821
⇓
I GIVE 'EM A WEEK.
#822
⇓
I GIVE 'EM A WEEK.
#823
⇓
I CAN MAKE SURE OF THAT.
#824
⇓
I CAN MAKE SURE OF THAT.
#825
⇓
RAT?
#826
⇓
NO, THANKS.
#827
⇓
OH, CONGRATULATIONS, CLARISSA.
#828
⇓
OH, CONGRATULATIONS, CLARISSA.
#829
⇓
J.D.: (NARRATING) AS FOR ME, SEEING JAKE COME BACK AND DO THE RIGHT THING
#830
⇓
J.D.: (NARRATING) AS FOR ME, SEEING JAKE COME BACK AND DO THE RIGHT THING
#831
⇓
RESTORED MY FAITH IN HUMANITY.
#832
⇓
I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT 6 YOUNG MEN STOPPED
#833
⇓
TO HELP AN OLD LADY CHANGE A TIRE.
#834
⇓
TO HELP AN OLD LADY CHANGE A TIRE.
#835
⇓
AND DON'T YOU FORGET WHO PUT THAT TIRE ON
#836
⇓
AND DON'T YOU FORGET WHO PUT THAT TIRE ON
#837
⇓
AND TIGHTENED THOSE LUG NUTS, MARTHA.
#838
⇓
OK, SWEETIE, HAVE FUN AT THE SWAP MEET.
#839
⇓
OK, SWEETIE, HAVE FUN AT THE SWAP MEET.
#840
⇓
DRIVE SAFE.
#841
⇓
YEP, IT SURE FEELS GOOD TO DO THE RIGHT THING.
#842
⇓
YEP, IT SURE FEELS GOOD TO DO THE RIGHT THING.
#843
⇓
RIGHTY LOOSEY, LEFTY TIGHTY.
#844
⇓
RIGHTY LOOSEY, LEFTY TIGHTY.
#845
⇓
OH. RIGHTY TIGHTY. LEFTY LOOSEY.
#846
⇓
OH. RIGHTY TIGHTY. LEFTY LOOSEY.
#847
⇓
J.D.: (NARRATING) OH MAN, IT STILL FEELS GOOD.
#848
⇓
J.D.: (NARRATING) OH MAN, IT STILL FEELS GOOD.
#849
⇓
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