Scrubs

-Argh!

#1

⇓

-There. Just a tiny splinter!

#2

⇓

-There. Just a tiny splinter!

#3

⇓

I can't stop thinking about Aesop's Fables -

#4

⇓

I can't stop thinking about Aesop's Fables -

#5

⇓

the one where the lion always hassles the little mouse,

#6

⇓

the one where the lion always hassles the little mouse,

#7

⇓

then the mouse pulls a thorn from his paw? -Right. Then the lion kills him anyway. Yeah.

#8

⇓

then the mouse pulls a thorn from his paw? -Right. Then the lion kills him anyway. Yeah.

#9

⇓

-No, he doesn't. -Trust me. -Sandy, what do you say we start?

#10

⇓

-No, he doesn't. -Trust me. -Sandy, what do you say we start?

#11

⇓

-Sandy isn't always a girls' name. -It's short for Sandra. -Clear.

#12

⇓

-Sandy isn't always a girls' name. -It's short for Sandra. -Clear.

#13

⇓

-Hello, Perry. 'Oh, God. The ex-wife.'

#14

⇓

-Hello, Perry. 'Oh, God. The ex-wife.'

#15

⇓

-Jordan. What a coincidence! You were in my dream last night.

#16

⇓

-Jordan. What a coincidence! You were in my dream last night.

#17

⇓

I can't say for certain, but I was having the flesh torn from my bones

#18

⇓

I can't say for certain, but I was having the flesh torn from my bones

#19

⇓

by a cross-eyed water snake - you? -Yeah. -Right? -Mm-mm.

#20

⇓

by a cross-eyed water snake - you? -Yeah. -Right? -Mm-mm.

#21

⇓

Say, let's play a game -

#22

⇓

I'll describe how one of you is in bed

#23

⇓

I'll describe how one of you is in bed

#24

⇓

and you guys try to guess who it is. -I had no idea she was your ex. -Heh!

#25

⇓

and you guys try to guess who it is. -I had no idea she was your ex. -Heh!

#26

⇓

-Clumsy. -Don't answer that, Newbie. -No worries.

#27

⇓

-Clumsy. -Don't answer that, Newbie. -No worries.

#28

⇓

-Goodbye, Jordan. Sandy. -Ow!

#29

⇓

-Goodbye, Jordan. Sandy. -Ow!

#30

⇓

-Good job, DJ. -You know, it's JD, OK?

#31

⇓

-Good job, DJ. -You know, it's JD, OK?

#32

⇓

At least I remember the names of my partners. -I'm sure that girl from high school

#33

⇓

At least I remember the names of my partners. -I'm sure that girl from high school

#34

⇓

At least I remember the names of my partners. -I'm sure that girl from high school

#35

⇓

and your bunk-mate from Camp Morning Wood are both extremely grateful.

#36

⇓

and your bunk-mate from Camp Morning Wood are both extremely grateful.

#37

⇓

-It was Camp Meadow Wood. I made a lanyard.

#38

⇓

-It was Camp Meadow Wood. I made a lanyard.

#39

⇓

# I can't do this all on my...

#40

⇓

# I can't do this all on my...

#41

⇓

# ..Own

#42

⇓

# I know

#43

⇓

# I know

#44

⇓

# That I'm no

#45

⇓

# Superman

#46

⇓

# I'm no superman

#47

⇓

# I'm no superman #

#48

⇓

# I'm no superman #

#49

⇓

'It sounds insensitive, but hospitals can be boring.'

#50

⇓

'It sounds insensitive, but hospitals can be boring.'

#51

⇓

'So if a policeman has an accident chasing the bad guy, it pumps ya up!'

#52

⇓

'So if a policeman has an accident chasing the bad guy, it pumps ya up!'

#53

⇓

Move along, fellas, nothing to see here.

#54

⇓

Move along, fellas, nothing to see here.

#55

⇓

I'll be over here. -Officer Berson was admitted with short breath and chest pain.

#56

⇓

I'll be over here. -Officer Berson was admitted with short breath and chest pain.

#57

⇓

-Think anyone else gets this excited over a car accident?

#58

⇓

-Think anyone else gets this excited over a car accident?

#59

⇓

(HILLBILLY MUSIC)

#60

⇓

(HILLBILLY MUSIC)

#61

⇓

Maybe Hank.

#62

⇓

'We weren't the only ones psyched to be in the game.'

#63

⇓

'We weren't the only ones psyched to be in the game.'

#64

⇓

-The doctor is in.

#65

⇓

-The doctor is in.

#66

⇓

Bad guy, this is why you don't run from the po-lice! Baby, you ready to rock?

#67

⇓

Bad guy, this is why you don't run from the po-lice! Baby, you ready to rock?

#68

⇓

-Great, another cocky resident that wants to start before the attending shows up.

#69

⇓

-Great, another cocky resident that wants to start before the attending shows up.

#70

⇓

-I figured that if we finished here quick enough,

#71

⇓

-I figured that if we finished here quick enough,

#72

⇓

we may have time to pull the stick out of your ass. What do you say?

#73

⇓

we may have time to pull the stick out of your ass. What do you say?

#74

⇓

Perry. -Beelzebub.

#75

⇓

-Lackey! -Hey, Dr. Cox.

#76

⇓

-Lackey! -Hey, Dr. Cox.

#77

⇓

-I'm being honoured by the board of trustees, and they asked me to say a few words. -Oh, yawn!

#78

⇓

-I'm being honoured by the board of trustees, and they asked me to say a few words. -Oh, yawn!

#79

⇓

-I'm being honoured by the board of trustees, and they asked me to say a few words. -Oh, yawn!

#80

⇓

-Anyway, I would like you to be the one who introduces me.

#81

⇓

-Seriously? -Yeah! -Not interested.

#82

⇓

-Seriously? -Yeah! -Not interested.

#83

⇓

-I didn't ask if you were interested. -I deeply dislike you. It keeps me up at night.

#84

⇓

-I didn't ask if you were interested. -I deeply dislike you. It keeps me up at night.

#85

⇓

-Use that passion! Put that rage on the page!

#86

⇓

-Use that passion! Put that rage on the page!

#87

⇓

Why not use Big Chief Flop-Sweat, here?

#88

⇓

Why not use Big Chief Flop-Sweat, here?

#89

⇓

Ted's not an impressive man.

#90

⇓

Ted's not an impressive man.

#91

⇓

-Hey! That...

#92

⇓

-Hey! That...

#93

⇓

Ah, he's right. -OK.

#94

⇓

-Officer Berson, you have a slight arrhythmia, we're gonna monitor you closely.

#95

⇓

-Officer Berson, you have a slight arrhythmia, we're gonna monitor you closely.

#96

⇓

-Officer Berson, you have a slight arrhythmia, we're gonna monitor you closely.

#97

⇓

-Don't worry, we're on top of it, OK?

#98

⇓

'There's nothing like taking charge.'

#99

⇓

'There's nothing like taking charge.'

#100

⇓

-Mary. Rhoda. Chart, please.

#101

⇓

-Mary. Rhoda. Chart, please.

#102

⇓

What'd I stutter? Gimme the chart.

#103

⇓

Oh, man! I don't like his 02 set.

#104

⇓

Oh, man! I don't like his 02 set.

#105

⇓

Grab me a doughnut, will you?

#106

⇓

Grab me a doughnut, will you?

#107

⇓

-Oh, you mean like a blood-pressure thingy?

#108

⇓

-Oh, you mean like a blood-pressure thingy?

#109

⇓

-I mean like a glazed thingy. I like sprinkles on half of it,

#110

⇓

-I mean like a glazed thingy. I like sprinkles on half of it,

#111

⇓

so if you can't find one, get me all sprinkles and pick half of 'em off. (WHISTLES)

#112

⇓

so if you can't find one, get me all sprinkles and pick half of 'em off. (WHISTLES)

#113

⇓

-You know, that was demeaning. -You know, you're right.

#114

⇓

-You know, that was demeaning. -You know, you're right.

#115

⇓

Would you apologize to her while you get me some coffee.

#116

⇓

Would you apologize to her while you get me some coffee.

#117

⇓

Be quick, otherwise I'm gonna have the manager send another waitress.

#118

⇓

Be quick, otherwise I'm gonna have the manager send another waitress.

#119

⇓

You're done now. Yeah.

#120

⇓

You're done now. Yeah.

#121

⇓

'Frustrating thing, down in the OR -Turk was probably running the show.'

#122

⇓

'Frustrating thing, down in the OR -Turk was probably running the show.'

#123

⇓

-Steady, Dr Turk, only about two more hours.

#124

⇓

-Steady, Dr Turk, only about two more hours.

#125

⇓

-Could you scratch my nose, please?

#126

⇓

-Could you scratch my nose, please?

#127

⇓

-No. I can scratch my nose.

#128

⇓

-No. I can scratch my nose.

#129

⇓

Oh,...

#130

⇓

..that feels good.

#131

⇓

..that feels good.

#132

⇓

-Yeah.

#133

⇓

I want to thank you and the rest of the board for giving me this award.

#134

⇓

I want to thank you and the rest of the board for giving me this award.

#135

⇓

That your first choice passed away last week doesn't make it any less special.

#136

⇓

That your first choice passed away last week doesn't make it any less special.

#137

⇓

-Are you sure? Cos it seems like it does. -Hey, Bob,

#138

⇓

-Are you sure? Cos it seems like it does. -Hey, Bob,

#139

⇓

as far as the intro thing goes, I've given it a lot of thought,

#140

⇓

as far as the intro thing goes, I've given it a lot of thought,

#141

⇓

but I'm gonna very politely have to tell you to blow it out your ass.

#142

⇓

but I'm gonna very politely have to tell you to blow it out your ass.

#143

⇓

but I'm gonna very politely have to tell you to blow it out your ass.

#144

⇓

-I think we both understand how this works. It's like when my dog Baxter goes winkle on the carpet.

#145

⇓

-I think we both understand how this works. It's like when my dog Baxter goes winkle on the carpet.

#146

⇓

He always heads away from the tool shed, but we both know that's where he's gonna spend the night.

#147

⇓

He always heads away from the tool shed, but we both know that's where he's gonna spend the night.

#148

⇓

He always heads away from the tool shed, but we both know that's where he's gonna spend the night.

#149

⇓

-Charming story. -Yeah.

#150

⇓

The fact of the matter is, I kinda make it a rule

#151

⇓

The fact of the matter is, I kinda make it a rule

#152

⇓

never to get in bed with people I have nothing but contempt for.

#153

⇓

never to get in bed with people I have nothing but contempt for.

#154

⇓

-That feels good, JD. -What?

#155

⇓

-That feels good, JD. -What?

#156

⇓

You'll now pay for that. -God, I hope so.

#157

⇓

You'll now pay for that. -God, I hope so.

#158

⇓

-We're residents now. We're supposed to have more responsibility.

#159

⇓

-We're residents now. We're supposed to have more responsibility.

#160

⇓

-I scratched my nose with Bad Guy's toe.

#161

⇓

-I scratched my nose with Bad Guy's toe.

#162

⇓

-We have to accept we're the most under-appreciated people here. -I feel for you.

#163

⇓

-We have to accept we're the most under-appreciated people here. -I feel for you.

#164

⇓

-We have to accept we're the most under-appreciated people here. -I feel for you.

#165

⇓

-Thank you! -She doesn't. -JD, I spend most of my time here getting orders from people

#166

⇓

-Thank you! -She doesn't. -JD, I spend most of my time here getting orders from people

#167

⇓

who take credit for my work and blame me for their mistakes.

#168

⇓

who take credit for my work and blame me for their mistakes.

#169

⇓

All the while, I'm expected to hold the doctor's hand. You should try trading places with me for one day.

#170

⇓

All the while, I'm expected to hold the doctor's hand. You should try trading places with me for one day.

#171

⇓

-It's actually not that bad.

#172

⇓

And the lace feels soft against my package.

#173

⇓

And the lace feels soft against my package.

#174

⇓

'Nah.'

#175

⇓

'Nah.'

#176

⇓

-Well, I'm glad we finally had a chance to, uh, talk.

#177

⇓

-Well, I'm glad we finally had a chance to, uh, talk.

#178

⇓

-You and me, both. I haven't had anyone to talk to lately. -O-K.

#179

⇓

-You and me, both. I haven't had anyone to talk to lately. -O-K.

#180

⇓

-But, boy, you sure do talk fast. -Bye-bye!

#181

⇓

-But, boy, you sure do talk fast. -Bye-bye!

#182

⇓

-Next time we talk, maybe I could finish a sentence or two.

#183

⇓

-Next time we talk, maybe I could finish a sentence or two.

#184

⇓

# You still

#185

⇓

# You still

#186

⇓

like her #

#187

⇓

-Why, because we had a conversation in an empty room? -That room's not empty.

#188

⇓

-Why, because we had a conversation in an empty room? -That room's not empty.

#189

⇓

-Girlfriend, I don't wanna hear your misguided romantic notions.

#190

⇓

-Girlfriend, I don't wanna hear your misguided romantic notions.

#191

⇓

You see, for me, sex is a sport, like racquet-ball -

#192

⇓

You see, for me, sex is a sport, like racquet-ball -

#193

⇓

you play hard and hope you don't get hit in the eye.

#194

⇓

you play hard and hope you don't get hit in the eye.

#195

⇓

-Say what you want, I know you care about her. In fact,

#196

⇓

-Say what you want, I know you care about her. In fact,

#197

⇓

I bet after you two are done talking or whatever you kids are calling it,

#198

⇓

I bet after you two are done talking or whatever you kids are calling it,

#199

⇓

you like nothing better than to lie there and pass the time watching her sleep.

#200

⇓

you like nothing better than to lie there and pass the time watching her sleep.

#201

⇓

you like nothing better than to lie there and pass the time watching her sleep.

#202

⇓

-It's impossible to actually lie next to Jordan,

#203

⇓

seen as she sleeps hanging from the ceiling, wrapped in a cocoon of her own wings.

#204

⇓

seen as she sleeps hanging from the ceiling, wrapped in a cocoon of her own wings.

#205

⇓

seen as she sleeps hanging from the ceiling, wrapped in a cocoon of her own wings.

#206

⇓

-That's nice.

#207

⇓

Hey. I thought about what you said, and you're right, I owe you,

#208

⇓

Hey. I thought about what you said, and you're right, I owe you,

#209

⇓

so, I got you a date tonight. -Who?

#210

⇓

so, I got you a date tonight. -Who?

#211

⇓

-Tim.

#212

⇓

-Tim.

#213

⇓

-I'm not gay. -What?

#214

⇓

-I'm not gay. -What?

#215

⇓

Oh! Oh, OK, I get it. Neither is Tim.

#216

⇓

Oh! Oh, OK, I get it. Neither is Tim.

#217

⇓

'Unfortunately, I'm on-call tonight, -and as weird as this place is during the day, it's even worse at night.'

#218

⇓

'Unfortunately, I'm on-call tonight, -and as weird as this place is during the day, it's even worse at night.'

#219

⇓

'See, that's when all the weirdos come out.'

#220

⇓

'See, that's when all the weirdos come out.'

#221

⇓

'Like the ER doctor who likes to work nights cos he says he's up anyway.'

#222

⇓

'Like the ER doctor who likes to work nights cos he says he's up anyway.'

#223

⇓

-Hey, bro.

#224

⇓

'Or the nurse who everyone agrees -is just a little bit off.'

#225

⇓

'Or the nurse who everyone agrees -is just a little bit off.'

#226

⇓

'Or, if there's a full moon....'

#227

⇓

'Or, if there's a full moon....'

#228

⇓

-Hey. This is my band. We all work in different departments in the hospital.

#229

⇓

-Hey. This is my band. We all work in different departments in the hospital.

#230

⇓

-I know, you told me - # Legal

#231

⇓

-I know, you told me - # Legal

#232

⇓

# Accounting

#233

⇓

# Accounting # Shipping and Receiving

#234

⇓

# Accounting # Shipping and Receiving

#235

⇓

# On-site property management, -including pest control,

#236

⇓

# On-site property management, -including pest control,

#237

⇓

# Night-time security, non-arboreal gardening services, and tenant-related easements and liens.

#238

⇓

# Night-time security, non-arboreal gardening services, and tenant-related easements and liens.

#239

⇓

-You got promoted! (ALL) # It's about time.

#240

⇓

-You got promoted! (ALL) # It's about time.

#241

⇓

# He's been busting his hump around here for six years. Mm-mmm #

#242

⇓

# He's been busting his hump around here for six years. Mm-mmm #

#243

⇓

-Dr Kelso lets us practise at night.

#244

⇓

-I remember, cartoon theme songs?

#245

⇓

-I remember, cartoon theme songs?

#246

⇓

-No, no, no. That was lame.

#247

⇓

-No, no, no. That was lame.

#248

⇓

We do prime-time now. (PLAYS A NOTE)

#249

⇓

We do prime-time now. (PLAYS A NOTE)

#250

⇓

(ALL) # You take the good, -you take the bad

#251

⇓

(ALL) # You take the good, -you take the bad

#252

⇓

# You take them both and there you have

#253

⇓

# You take them both and there you have # The facts of life

#254

⇓

# You take them both and there you have # The facts of life

#255

⇓

# When it's your time -you've got to go

#256

⇓

# And show you've grown and now you know about

#257

⇓

# And show you've grown and now you know about

#258

⇓

# The facts of life, -the facts of life

#259

⇓

# The facts of life, -the facts of life

#260

⇓

# When the world never seems

#261

⇓

# To be living up to your dreams

#262

⇓

# To be living up to your dreams

#263

⇓

# And suddenly you're finding out -the facts of life

#264

⇓

# And suddenly you're finding out -the facts of life

#265

⇓

# Are all about you

#266

⇓

# Are all about you

#267

⇓

# Are all about you

#268

⇓

# Are all about you # Yes, we're talking to ya

#269

⇓

# Are all about you # Yes, we're talking to ya

#270

⇓

# All about you

#271

⇓

# All about you # It takes a lot

#272

⇓

# All about you # It takes a lot

#273

⇓

# To get 'em right

#274

⇓

# When you're learning the facts of life

#275

⇓

# When you're learning the facts of life

#276

⇓

# The facts of life

#277

⇓

# The facts of life # Keep on learning them

#278

⇓

# Learning the facts of li...

#279

⇓

# Learning the facts of li...

#280

⇓

# ..i-i-i-ife #

#281

⇓

# ..i-i-i-ife #

#282

⇓

-What attendings are on-call tonight? -Everyone's at that Kelso thing.

#283

⇓

-What attendings are on-call tonight? -Everyone's at that Kelso thing.

#284

⇓

-I think Dr Cox is on. -He went home. He said Carol could cover for him.

#285

⇓

-I think Dr Cox is on. -He went home. He said Carol could cover for him.

#286

⇓

-Is Carol the one with the really firm butt? -Well, I'm Carol, so yes.

#287

⇓

-Is Carol the one with the really firm butt? -Well, I'm Carol, so yes.

#288

⇓

-It's disturbing how obsessed you are with your butt.

#289

⇓

-It's disturbing how obsessed you are with your butt.

#290

⇓

-You guys are missing the point, no one's here but us, we're running this hospital.

#291

⇓

-You guys are missing the point, no one's here but us, we're running this hospital.

#292

⇓

-This is our house! -We're in charge! -I love my butt!

#293

⇓

-This is our house! -We're in charge! -I love my butt!

#294

⇓

'It's amazing how one moment you think you know what you want...'

#295

⇓

'It's amazing how one moment you think you know what you want...'

#296

⇓

-Oh, God. Come on.

#297

⇓

'And then the next moment, -everything changes.' -OK,

#298

⇓

'And then the next moment, -everything changes.' -OK,

#299

⇓

the ER doctor knows there's no attending up here, so instead of treating, he's admitting everyone.

#300

⇓

the ER doctor knows there's no attending up here, so instead of treating, he's admitting everyone.

#301

⇓

the ER doctor knows there's no attending up here, so instead of treating, he's admitting everyone.

#302

⇓

You've got twelve so far. Oncology, Cardiology, and Paediatrics all need surgical consults. (PHONE RINGS)

#303

⇓

You've got twelve so far. Oncology, Cardiology, and Paediatrics all need surgical consults. (PHONE RINGS)

#304

⇓

-That phone is for you. It's the clinic. They know you're on your own so they're patching calls through.

#305

⇓

-That phone is for you. It's the clinic. They know you're on your own so they're patching calls through.

#306

⇓

-That phone is for you. It's the clinic. They know you're on your own so they're patching calls through.

#307

⇓

And Bambi, room 201 needs an art-line,

#308

⇓

And Bambi, room 201 needs an art-line,

#309

⇓

room 202 needs reintubation, plus, Carol,

#310

⇓

you're needed in ICU to place a femoral swan under Mr Freed.

#311

⇓

you're needed in ICU to place a femoral swan under Mr Freed.

#312

⇓

-Never done one of these unsupervised before.

#313

⇓

-Never done one of these unsupervised before.

#314

⇓

(PAGERS BEEP)

#315

⇓

(PAGERS BEEP)

#316

⇓

'That's when I realized, tonight we really were all alone...

#317

⇓

'That's when I realized, tonight we really were all alone...

#318

⇓

..running the hospital.'

#319

⇓

..running the hospital.'

#320

⇓

(ALL) # Charles in charge of our days

#321

⇓

# And our nights

#322

⇓

# And our nights

#323

⇓

# Charles in charge of our wrongs

#324

⇓

# Charles in charge of our wrongs

#325

⇓

# And our rights

#326

⇓

# And I see, I want, I want

#327

⇓

# And I see, I want, I want

#328

⇓

# Charles in charge of me #

#329

⇓

# Charles in charge of me #

#330

⇓

'Luckily, someone had the guts -to stand up and take charge.'

#331

⇓

'Luckily, someone had the guts -to stand up and take charge.'

#332

⇓

-Look, you've been on-call before. So, you don't have a safety-net,

#333

⇓

-Look, you've been on-call before. So, you don't have a safety-net,

#334

⇓

most of the time you don't need one, right?

#335

⇓

most of the time you don't need one, right?

#336

⇓

I'll go tell your patients they're on their own cos you're too scared.

#337

⇓

I'll go tell your patients they're on their own cos you're too scared.

#338

⇓

-No, Carla, I'm the doctor, I should tell them.

#339

⇓

-No, Carla, I'm the doctor, I should tell them.

#340

⇓

-Come on, peeps! Let's go kick some sick patient ass!

#341

⇓

-Come on, peeps! Let's go kick some sick patient ass!

#342

⇓

-That, my friends, is one nerdy honky!

#343

⇓

-That, my friends, is one nerdy honky!

#344

⇓

-That's two.

#345

⇓

-My back hurts. -Oh, yeah? Well my front hurts, so touche.

#346

⇓

-My back hurts. -Oh, yeah? Well my front hurts, so touche.

#347

⇓

-Ah, always a charmer.

#348

⇓

-Ah, always a charmer.

#349

⇓

Hi. -Hi. I'm gonna go ahead and get you

#350

⇓

a big, ice-cold glass of water. What do you think of that?

#351

⇓

a big, ice-cold glass of water. What do you think of that?

#352

⇓

Oh, sweet mother of mercy, Carla, you were right, you were so right.

#353

⇓

Oh, sweet mother of mercy, Carla, you were right, you were so right.

#354

⇓

-Of course. -Just what am I supposed to do now? -Duck.

#355

⇓

-Of course. -Just what am I supposed to do now? -Duck.

#356

⇓

-Who paged me cos a patient thinks their tongue is too spongy?!

#357

⇓

-Who paged me cos a patient thinks their tongue is too spongy?!

#358

⇓

-You are not to tell any of them I'm here.

#359

⇓

-Why don't you go and tell Jordan how you feel.

#360

⇓

-Why don't you go and tell Jordan how you feel.

#361

⇓

-Tell a woman how I feel? -Well, I guess you could duck.

#362

⇓

-Tell a woman how I feel? -Well, I guess you could duck.

#363

⇓

-Ridiculous! He admitted out of Cardiology because he has heartburn!

#364

⇓

-Ridiculous! He admitted out of Cardiology because he has heartburn!

#365

⇓

-You just don't understand my relationship with Jordan.

#366

⇓

-You just don't understand my relationship with Jordan.

#367

⇓

-Duck.

#368

⇓

-Duck.

#369

⇓

-Now, that's just not funny.

#370

⇓

-Now, that's just not funny.

#371

⇓

'I don't know why I was scared -of placing a femoral swan,

#372

⇓

'I don't know why I was scared -of placing a femoral swan,

#373

⇓

guess I wished there was someone over my shoulder.'

#374

⇓

guess I wished there was someone over my shoulder.'

#375

⇓

'I was even starting to see things.'

#376

⇓

'I was even starting to see things.'

#377

⇓

OK, Mr Freed, I think I can do this.

#378

⇓

OK, Mr Freed, I think I can do this.

#379

⇓

-Hm?! -I'm gonna need a C-arm in here!

#380

⇓

-Want me to knock him out? -What are you doing? -I owe ya, I'm helping you out.

#381

⇓

-Want me to knock him out? -What are you doing? -I owe ya, I'm helping you out.

#382

⇓

-Want me to knock him out? -What are you doing? -I owe ya, I'm helping you out.

#383

⇓

-This isn't like being a janitor! It's not something everyone can do. -You can do my stuff, I can't do yours?

#384

⇓

-This isn't like being a janitor! It's not something everyone can do. -You can do my stuff, I can't do yours?

#385

⇓

-Yes! -OK, hotshot,

#386

⇓

-Yes! -OK, hotshot,

#387

⇓

what would you use to get a coffee stain up off a tile floor? -I don't know,

#388

⇓

what would you use to get a coffee stain up off a tile floor? -I don't know,

#389

⇓

the rough side of a sponge?

#390

⇓

the rough side of a sponge?

#391

⇓

-Dammit.

#392

⇓

-Dammit.

#393

⇓

Officer Berson's spiralling a bit.

#394

⇓

Officer Berson's spiralling a bit.

#395

⇓

-His pulmonary oedema seems secondary to acute mitral regurgitation.

#396

⇓

-His pulmonary oedema seems secondary to acute mitral regurgitation.

#397

⇓

If it's a flail leaflet, he'll need surgery.

#398

⇓

If it's a flail leaflet, he'll need surgery.

#399

⇓

-His vitals are weak, I wouldn't feel confident taking him to the OR.

#400

⇓

-His vitals are weak, I wouldn't feel confident taking him to the OR.

#401

⇓

'The classic Catch-22 -between Medical and Surgical. Somebody needs to be decisive.'

#402

⇓

'The classic Catch-22 -between Medical and Surgical. Somebody needs to be decisive.'

#403

⇓

OK, here's the plan -

#404

⇓

OK, here's the plan -

#405

⇓

we do nothing. -Sounds good. -I'm in. -That's inspiring.

#406

⇓

we do nothing. -Sounds good. -I'm in. -That's inspiring.

#407

⇓

-We'll meet back here in a few hours and see if his vitals have improved.

#408

⇓

-We'll meet back here in a few hours and see if his vitals have improved.

#409

⇓

(MOBILE PHONE RINGS)

#410

⇓

-Yeah, this ends now.

#411

⇓

-Yeah, this ends now.

#412

⇓

'Turk should've known -the worst mistake a doctor can make

#413

⇓

'Turk should've known -the worst mistake a doctor can make

#414

⇓

is setting foot in the hospital's free clinic... at night.'

#415

⇓

is setting foot in the hospital's free clinic... at night.'

#416

⇓

-I don't care if you do shave down there. That's not even a medical issue! But it sure is pretty!

#417

⇓

-I don't care if you do shave down there. That's not even a medical issue! But it sure is pretty!

#418

⇓

Ma'am, you don't have mono. But you do have halitosis. Mint?

#419

⇓

Ma'am, you don't have mono. But you do have halitosis. Mint?

#420

⇓

Three Baby Tylenol is actually an under-dose for a woman your size.

#421

⇓

Three Baby Tylenol is actually an under-dose for a woman your size.

#422

⇓

Oh!

#423

⇓

Oh!

#424

⇓

Yes, congratulations, you are double-jointed.

#425

⇓

Yes, congratulations, you are double-jointed.

#426

⇓

-I thought we'd talk up here so you could see we don't have any more beds and can't handle more patients.

#427

⇓

-I thought we'd talk up here so you could see we don't have any more beds and can't handle more patients.

#428

⇓

-OK. You talk way too fast.

#429

⇓

-OK. You talk way too fast.

#430

⇓

-If you'd just keep one person, we'd be willing to throw a parade for you!

#431

⇓

-If you'd just keep one person, we'd be willing to throw a parade for you!

#432

⇓

-If you'd just keep one person, we'd be willing to throw a parade for you!

#433

⇓

-She needs you to give her a break. -Oh.

#434

⇓

Well, tell her that we're really swamped.

#435

⇓

Well, tell her that we're really swamped.

#436

⇓

-She can understand you! -Uh-huh! Yeah! -Well then, uh,

#437

⇓

-She can understand you! -Uh-huh! Yeah! -Well then, uh,

#438

⇓

understand this - chill out, bitty.

#439

⇓

understand this - chill out, bitty.

#440

⇓

-Hey.

#441

⇓

-Hey. Didn't you go to get water, like, an hour ago?

#442

⇓

-Hey. Didn't you go to get water, like, an hour ago?

#443

⇓

-More or less. Hey, there's something I really want to say... to you.

#444

⇓

-More or less. Hey, there's something I really want to say... to you.

#445

⇓

-Can you say it while I'm drinking water? I'm dying of thirst.

#446

⇓

-Can you say it while I'm drinking water? I'm dying of thirst.

#447

⇓

-I like you... again.

#448

⇓

-I like you... again.

#449

⇓

You win. Do your victory dance, or slaughter a goat, or whatever it is you do when you're happy.

#450

⇓

You win. Do your victory dance, or slaughter a goat, or whatever it is you do when you're happy.

#451

⇓

-You don't like me. -I watch you when you sleep.

#452

⇓

-You don't like me. -I watch you when you sleep.

#453

⇓

-That just gives me the heebie-jeebies. -I can't stop thinking about you.

#454

⇓

-That just gives me the heebie-jeebies. -I can't stop thinking about you.

#455

⇓

-Look, this is pointless, angry, shallow sex!

#456

⇓

-Look, this is pointless, angry, shallow sex!

#457

⇓

Why would you ruin something like that? -I'm sorry,

#458

⇓

but that's just not enough any more.

#459

⇓

-Sweetie, I have feelings for you, too, I do.

#460

⇓

-Sweetie, I have feelings for you, too, I do.

#461

⇓

But, unlike you, I have balls, so you don't hear me whining about it.

#462

⇓

But, unlike you, I have balls, so you don't hear me whining about it.

#463

⇓

Look, Perry,

#464

⇓

Look, Perry,

#465

⇓

I can't let you back into my life,

#466

⇓

and watch you personally and professionally sabotage

#467

⇓

and watch you personally and professionally sabotage

#468

⇓

every single chance that you get. It's too hard. I can't do it.

#469

⇓

every single chance that you get. It's too hard. I can't do it.

#470

⇓

every single chance that you get. It's too hard. I can't do it.

#471

⇓

-I've changed. I have.

#472

⇓

I see a shrink now. I actually see two,

#473

⇓

I see a shrink now. I actually see two,

#474

⇓

tell you the truth. Good God,

#475

⇓

tell you the truth. Good God,

#476

⇓

what do you want me to do to prove to you I'm not that guy any more? -Hmm...

#477

⇓

what do you want me to do to prove to you I'm not that guy any more? -Hmm...

#478

⇓

-There you are! Had to make me sweat, didn't ya!

#479

⇓

-There you are! Had to make me sweat, didn't ya!

#480

⇓

Good for you, buckaroo. Here, I took the liberty of writing out my introduction.

#481

⇓

Good for you, buckaroo. Here, I took the liberty of writing out my introduction.

#482

⇓

-"Bob Kelso is... the love of my life."

#483

⇓

-"Bob Kelso is... the love of my life."

#484

⇓

-My wife was going to do it. -She doesn't even seem to be here, Bob.

#485

⇓

-My wife was going to do it. -She doesn't even seem to be here, Bob.

#486

⇓

-Ah, what are you gonna do? (LAUGHS) -Lovely.

#487

⇓

-Ah, what are you gonna do? (LAUGHS) -Lovely.

#488

⇓

(GONG SOUNDS) You rang.

#489

⇓

(GONG SOUNDS) You rang.

#490

⇓

Lurch. -Oh.

#491

⇓

My stethoscope is stuck up there, and I need you to get it down for me.

#492

⇓

My stethoscope is stuck up there, and I need you to get it down for me.

#493

⇓

-You put it up there. -It's really neither here nor there.

#494

⇓

-You put it up there. -It's really neither here nor there.

#495

⇓

-Fine. Alright, we're even.

#496

⇓

-Fine. Alright, we're even.

#497

⇓

-Thank God. -You could have asked me to stop hassling you for, like, a year?

#498

⇓

-Thank God. -You could have asked me to stop hassling you for, like, a year?

#499

⇓

-OK, I want that, then. -It's too late.

#500

⇓

-OK, I want that, then. -It's too late.

#501

⇓

-But I use those for listening.

#502

⇓

-But I use those for listening.

#503

⇓

-Oh, uh, they want you upstairs in room, er,...

#504

⇓

..208.

#505

⇓

..208.

#506

⇓

-His vitals are exactly the same.

#507

⇓

There's gotta be one attending in this stupid hospital. -You guys are unbelievable.

#508

⇓

There's gotta be one attending in this stupid hospital. -You guys are unbelievable.

#509

⇓

There's gotta be one attending in this stupid hospital. -You guys are unbelievable.

#510

⇓

-Oh, thank you, baby. -Not the good kind. -I know!

#511

⇓

-You all want more responsibility. But you're being outsmarted

#512

⇓

-You all want more responsibility. But you're being outsmarted

#513

⇓

by a doctor who wears scrubs made of hemp, you're afraid to stand up to a volunteer answering phones,

#514

⇓

by a doctor who wears scrubs made of hemp, you're afraid to stand up to a volunteer answering phones,

#515

⇓

by a doctor who wears scrubs made of hemp, you're afraid to stand up to a volunteer answering phones,

#516

⇓

and Bambi, did you ever place that femoral swan? -It's on my to-do list.

#517

⇓

and Bambi, did you ever place that femoral swan? -It's on my to-do list.

#518

⇓

-I know you're all hoping Officer Berson's vitals will go up or down

#519

⇓

-I know you're all hoping Officer Berson's vitals will go up or down

#520

⇓

and this decision will be made for you. Guess what? Nothing's changed, so it's on you.

#521

⇓

and this decision will be made for you. Guess what? Nothing's changed, so it's on you.

#522

⇓

'We all knew what we had to do.'

#523

⇓

'We all knew what we had to do.'

#524

⇓

Surgery.

#525

⇓

Surgery.

#526

⇓

'Sometimes, just making a decision is half the battle.'

#527

⇓

'Sometimes, just making a decision is half the battle.'

#528

⇓

(ALL HUM SIX MILLION DOLLAR -MAN THEME) -We can rebuild him.

#529

⇓

(ALL HUM SIX MILLION DOLLAR -MAN THEME) -We can rebuild him.

#530

⇓

We have the technology.

#531

⇓

We can make him better than he was before - better, stronger, faster.

#532

⇓

We can make him better than he was before - better, stronger, faster.

#533

⇓

We can make him better than he was before - better, stronger, faster.

#534

⇓

-Zhn-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne!

#535

⇓

-Zhn-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne!

#536

⇓

-Your "zhn-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne"s could be louder.

#537

⇓

-Your "zhn-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne"s could be louder.

#538

⇓

You guys were fine.

#539

⇓

You guys were fine.

#540

⇓

-Good evening, everybody.

#541

⇓

-Good evening, everybody.

#542

⇓

Bob Kelso is....

#543

⇓

Bob Kelso is....

#544

⇓

'In moments of truth, -we always reveal who we really are.'

#545

⇓

'In moments of truth, -we always reveal who we really are.'

#546

⇓

-Bob Kelso is an awful, awful man.

#547

⇓

-Bob Kelso is an awful, awful man.

#548

⇓

I'm not joking. He's the devil. (ALL APPLAUD)

#549

⇓

-What's wrong with you people?

#550

⇓

This is... -Great stuff, Perry! Great stuff! Is this guy a hoot, or what?

#551

⇓

This is... -Great stuff, Perry! Great stuff! Is this guy a hoot, or what?

#552

⇓

-I'll get your ass for this.

#553

⇓

-Jordan!

#554

⇓

-Jordan!

#555

⇓

-Thank you.

#556

⇓

-Thank you.

#557

⇓

'Sometimes, -we're our own worst enemy.'

#558

⇓

'And sometimes we rise to the occasion.'

#559

⇓

'And sometimes we rise to the occasion.'

#560

⇓

Everything went really well.

#561

⇓

'Even though we know that tomorrow morning

#562

⇓

'Even though we know that tomorrow morning

#563

⇓

the three of us will go back to being the most unappreciated people in the hospital.'

#564

⇓

the three of us will go back to being the most unappreciated people in the hospital.'

#565

⇓

-What are you doing? I thought you were off last night?

#566

⇓

-What are you doing? I thought you were off last night?

#567

⇓

-I switched shifts to help some friends. Have a good one. Guys, wait up!

#568

⇓

-I switched shifts to help some friends. Have a good one. Guys, wait up!

#569

⇓

# The new boy in the neighbourhood

#570

⇓

# The new boy in the neighbourhood

#571

⇓

# Lives downstairs and it's understood

#572

⇓

# Lives downstairs and it's understood

#573

⇓

# He's there just to take good care of me

#574

⇓

# He's there just to take good care of me

#575

⇓

(ALL) # Like he's one of the family

#576

⇓

# Charles in charge of our days

#577

⇓

# And our nights

#578

⇓

# And our nights

#579

⇓

# Charles in charge of our wrongs

#580

⇓

# Charles in charge of our wrongs

#581

⇓

# And our rights... #

#582

⇓

# And our rights... #

#583

⇓

-Shut the hell up, Ted, it's morning!

#584

⇓

Edited by Access Innovation Media www.ai-media.tv

#585

⇓

Edited by Access Innovation Media www.ai-media.tv

#586

⇓

Season 2, Episode 2 — My Nightingale

Combined Images