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» S02E03 — My Case Study
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Season 2, Episode 3 — My Case Study
-Who wants another beer? -Should I? I gotta work early.
#1
⇓
-Who wants another beer? -Should I? I gotta work early.
#2
⇓
I'm having fun except I had a pizza. -Elliot! -Yes, please.
#3
⇓
I'm having fun except I had a pizza. -Elliot! -Yes, please.
#4
⇓
-Me, too. -I'll help.
#5
⇓
-Me, too. -I'll help.
#6
⇓
'When you spend most of your time together as a part of a group,
#7
⇓
'When you spend most of your time together as a part of a group,
#8
⇓
if you're left alone, there can be... uncomfortable silences.'
#9
⇓
if you're left alone, there can be... uncomfortable silences.'
#10
⇓
(STOMACH RUMBLES)
#11
⇓
Th-Th-That was my tummy. -Oh.
#12
⇓
Th-Th-That was my tummy. -Oh.
#13
⇓
-Doctor, describe the presentation of Ludwig's Angina.
#14
⇓
-Doctor, describe the presentation of Ludwig's Angina.
#15
⇓
'Still, it's nothing compared -to the silence you can hear at work.'
#16
⇓
'Still, it's nothing compared -to the silence you can hear at work.'
#17
⇓
-Proud to have you on board, son.
#18
⇓
I'm sending one of you to a conference where you'll eat
#19
⇓
I'm sending one of you to a conference where you'll eat
#20
⇓
free food, stay at a nice hotel, and try not to embarrass this hospital.
#21
⇓
free food, stay at a nice hotel, and try not to embarrass this hospital.
#22
⇓
In the interest of fairness, I drew a name out of a hat - Elliot Reed.
#23
⇓
In the interest of fairness, I drew a name out of a hat - Elliot Reed.
#24
⇓
-Yes! I never win at anything! -And then I thought...
#25
⇓
-Yes! I never win at anything! -And then I thought...
#26
⇓
Oh, who cares what I thought? The point is you're not going.
#27
⇓
Oh, who cares what I thought? The point is you're not going.
#28
⇓
You see, it seems as though all you lazybones
#29
⇓
You see, it seems as though all you lazybones
#30
⇓
have forgotten my edict about residents publishing case reports.
#31
⇓
have forgotten my edict about residents publishing case reports.
#32
⇓
So whoever brings me the most interesting case goes to Reno.
#33
⇓
So whoever brings me the most interesting case goes to Reno.
#34
⇓
-You know, my parents live in Reno.
#35
⇓
-You know, my parents live in Reno.
#36
⇓
-That's great! I'm sure you'll see them over Christmas.
#37
⇓
-That's great! I'm sure you'll see them over Christmas.
#38
⇓
(PAGER BEEPS) Criminy.
#39
⇓
(PAGER BEEPS) Criminy.
#40
⇓
'Not many things make the Chief -of Medicine move that fast.'
#41
⇓
'Not many things make the Chief -of Medicine move that fast.'
#42
⇓
'But whenever a patient has the same name as a wing of the hospital,
#43
⇓
'But whenever a patient has the same name as a wing of the hospital,
#44
⇓
you can predict Kelso's behaviour.' -Would you like it high on the cheek,
#45
⇓
you can predict Kelso's behaviour.' -Would you like it high on the cheek,
#46
⇓
or do you prefer this fleshy part in the middle?
#47
⇓
or do you prefer this fleshy part in the middle?
#48
⇓
-I'm trying to decide who's the most detestable suck-up here.
#49
⇓
-I'm trying to decide who's the most detestable suck-up here.
#50
⇓
You, this feminine guy with the perm... -Mom, please!
#51
⇓
You, this feminine guy with the perm... -Mom, please!
#52
⇓
-Or the one who can't seem to stop daydreaming.
#53
⇓
-Or the one who can't seem to stop daydreaming.
#54
⇓
(FUNKY MUSIC)
#55
⇓
(FUNKY MUSIC)
#56
⇓
I'm sorry, what? -Oh, great.
#57
⇓
Another sycophant. -Listen up, Molly Menopause, I need you to quiet down.
#58
⇓
Another sycophant. -Listen up, Molly Menopause, I need you to quiet down.
#59
⇓
You're scaring everyone. They're delivering a baby upstairs
#60
⇓
You're scaring everyone. They're delivering a baby upstairs
#61
⇓
and the kid's using the umbilical cord to crawl back in.
#62
⇓
and the kid's using the umbilical cord to crawl back in.
#63
⇓
and the kid's using the umbilical cord to crawl back in.
#64
⇓
-Now, you listen to me - (WHISTLES) I mean it, sister.
#65
⇓
-From now on, he's my doctor. The rest of you can get out of here.
#66
⇓
-From now on, he's my doctor. The rest of you can get out of here.
#67
⇓
-Scram.
#68
⇓
-Scram.
#69
⇓
-Wait. Is that easy to manage?
#70
⇓
-Wait. Is that easy to manage?
#71
⇓
# I can't do this all on my own
#72
⇓
# I can't do this all on my own
#73
⇓
# No, I know I'm no superman
#74
⇓
# I'm no superman #
#75
⇓
# I'm no superman #
#76
⇓
-OK, I'm Dr Cox. This is my gal Friday.
#77
⇓
-OK, I'm Dr Cox. This is my gal Friday.
#78
⇓
She'll be helping me to take care of you.
#79
⇓
She'll be helping me to take care of you.
#80
⇓
Before we get under way, we need you to ease up on the yackety-yak.
#81
⇓
Before we get under way, we need you to ease up on the yackety-yak.
#82
⇓
-You can drop the macho act now. -Act schmact. The lip stays zipped.
#83
⇓
-You can drop the macho act now. -Act schmact. The lip stays zipped.
#84
⇓
-Zipped schmipped. I thought we were riffing. -We're not.
#85
⇓
-Zipped schmipped. I thought we were riffing. -We're not.
#86
⇓
-OK. -Aren't you delicious? If I were 20 years younger,
#87
⇓
this might be your lucky day.
#88
⇓
this might be your lucky day.
#89
⇓
-Careful there, sweet cheeks.
#90
⇓
-Careful there, sweet cheeks.
#91
⇓
I haven't decided which way I'm going take your temperature yet.
#92
⇓
I haven't decided which way I'm going take your temperature yet.
#93
⇓
-Wow, she had some old-fashioned sass.
#94
⇓
You just don't see sass like that. -Stop saying sass.
#95
⇓
-Sass. -Um,... Dr Cox?
#96
⇓
-Sass. -Um,... Dr Cox?
#97
⇓
I have a patient with blennorrhoea and I wondered if you thought
#98
⇓
I have a patient with blennorrhoea and I wondered if you thought
#99
⇓
that was interesting to present to Dr Kelso.
#100
⇓
that was interesting to present to Dr Kelso.
#101
⇓
-I'm sorry, nervous guy, but I can't do your work for you.
#102
⇓
-I'm sorry, nervous guy, but I can't do your work for you.
#103
⇓
Go look it up in the New England Journal Of Who Gives A Rat's Ass.
#104
⇓
Go look it up in the New England Journal Of Who Gives A Rat's Ass.
#105
⇓
You've got to leave this instant. This second. This moment. Just go.
#106
⇓
You've got to leave this instant. This second. This moment. Just go.
#107
⇓
Boy! Tell me, muffin, you're not like all these mindless drones,
#108
⇓
Boy! Tell me, muffin, you're not like all these mindless drones,
#109
⇓
trying to turn the sniffles into something much more fascinating
#110
⇓
trying to turn the sniffles into something much more fascinating
#111
⇓
just so you're selected to go to this stupid conference, are you?
#112
⇓
just so you're selected to go to this stupid conference, are you?
#113
⇓
'I felt I knew the right answer.'
#114
⇓
'I felt I knew the right answer.'
#115
⇓
No? -Oh, good girl!
#116
⇓
No? -Oh, good girl!
#117
⇓
-Nurse Roberts, I just saw your patient in 106.
#118
⇓
-Nurse Roberts, I just saw your patient in 106.
#119
⇓
The next time you place an IV and hit the vein on the first try,
#120
⇓
The next time you place an IV and hit the vein on the first try,
#121
⇓
I'll crack open a bottle of bubbly.
#122
⇓
I'll crack open a bottle of bubbly.
#123
⇓
I mean, my God, woman. The man looks like Al Jarreau was his nurse.
#124
⇓
I mean, my God, woman. The man looks like Al Jarreau was his nurse.
#125
⇓
-What? -Isn't he the blind fellow?
#126
⇓
-What? -Isn't he the blind fellow?
#127
⇓
-You mean Ray Charles? -Dammit.
#128
⇓
-You mean Ray Charles? -Dammit.
#129
⇓
Anyway, you're incompetent.
#130
⇓
-Easy, Laverne, you're a saved woman.
#131
⇓
-Easy, Laverne, you're a saved woman.
#132
⇓
-Don't worry. Tomorrow's his wedding anniversary.
#133
⇓
-Don't worry. Tomorrow's his wedding anniversary.
#134
⇓
-Why does that matter? -Kelso will be sweeter than flowers in honey.
#135
⇓
-Why does that matter? -Kelso will be sweeter than flowers in honey.
#136
⇓
-Which is why every year we use this time as an opportunity
#137
⇓
-Which is why every year we use this time as an opportunity
#138
⇓
to ask him for anything our department needs, like equipment.
#139
⇓
to ask him for anything our department needs, like equipment.
#140
⇓
-Or an extra nurse on weekends. -Or a Slip and Slide. Who's with me?
#141
⇓
-Or an extra nurse on weekends. -Or a Slip and Slide. Who's with me?
#142
⇓
-Shut up. -I don't get it, Dr Wen.
#143
⇓
-Shut up. -I don't get it, Dr Wen.
#144
⇓
Why would Kelso's anniversary make him less of a jerk than usual?
#145
⇓
Why would Kelso's anniversary make him less of a jerk than usual?
#146
⇓
-Tonight after work, Dr Kelso'll take his wife to a candlelit dinner.
#147
⇓
-Tonight after work, Dr Kelso'll take his wife to a candlelit dinner.
#148
⇓
Then, after they've toasted to 40 wonderful years together,
#149
⇓
Then, after they've toasted to 40 wonderful years together,
#150
⇓
they'll go home and - -Oh, bam! Oh, bam!
#151
⇓
they'll go home and - -Oh, bam! Oh, bam!
#152
⇓
-It's sweet that at their age they still...
#153
⇓
-It's sweet that at their age they still...
#154
⇓
-Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! -And then bam!
#155
⇓
-Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! -And then bam!
#156
⇓
Dr Wen points to me. Guess who has to ask Dr Kelso for an argon laser?
#157
⇓
Dr Wen points to me. Guess who has to ask Dr Kelso for an argon laser?
#158
⇓
-I'm sorry, baby. -I'm outta here.
#159
⇓
-I'm sorry, baby. -I'm outta here.
#160
⇓
Damn argon laser! -Do you think we'd hang out as much
#161
⇓
Damn argon laser! -Do you think we'd hang out as much
#162
⇓
if it weren't for JD and Turk? -Uh,... probably not.
#163
⇓
if it weren't for JD and Turk? -Uh,... probably not.
#164
⇓
They're the thing we have most in common.
#165
⇓
-We both have a hard time digesting dairy.
#166
⇓
-We both have a hard time digesting dairy.
#167
⇓
-You're right. Do you wanna be my maid of honour? Elliot,
#168
⇓
-You're right. Do you wanna be my maid of honour? Elliot,
#169
⇓
I don't know why you're trying to force this. We're fine.
#170
⇓
I don't know why you're trying to force this. We're fine.
#171
⇓
I gotta get back to work.
#172
⇓
I gotta get back to work.
#173
⇓
-We both work.
#174
⇓
-So, have you found any cool cases yet?
#175
⇓
-So, have you found any cool cases yet?
#176
⇓
-Look, muffin, I'm not gonna run around like a mindless drone
#177
⇓
-Look, muffin, I'm not gonna run around like a mindless drone
#178
⇓
turning the sniffles into something so you can go to some conference.
#179
⇓
turning the sniffles into something so you can go to some conference.
#180
⇓
Schmonference. 'It's fun to rhyme.'
#181
⇓
Schmonference. 'It's fun to rhyme.'
#182
⇓
-What? It's an amazing networking opportunity.
#183
⇓
I've got it wrapped up anyway.
#184
⇓
I've got it wrapped up anyway.
#185
⇓
-Do you have something good? -If I told you, you wouldn't believe it.
#186
⇓
-Do you have something good? -If I told you, you wouldn't believe it.
#187
⇓
..and as you can see, the ass is on the front. (APPLAUSE)
#188
⇓
..and as you can see, the ass is on the front. (APPLAUSE)
#189
⇓
Front butt. It's like the Grail.
#190
⇓
Front butt. It's like the Grail.
#191
⇓
-Did you say something, Mr Too-Scared-To-Get-In-The-Game?
#192
⇓
'Don't get sucked in.' You know, -I have an interesting patient, too.
#193
⇓
'Don't get sucked in.' You know, -I have an interesting patient, too.
#194
⇓
Basically, Mr Davis, you received a blunt trauma
#195
⇓
to the fibrous tissue of the corpus cavernosum.
#196
⇓
to the fibrous tissue of the corpus cavernosum.
#197
⇓
-Great, and that means? -You broke your penis.
#198
⇓
-Great, and that means? -You broke your penis.
#199
⇓
-Wow. I can't wait to get my cast signed(!)
#200
⇓
-Wow. I can't wait to get my cast signed(!)
#201
⇓
-I gotta tell you, it's such an unusual case.
#202
⇓
-I gotta tell you, it's such an unusual case.
#203
⇓
Mind if I try and get it published in a journal?
#204
⇓
Mind if I try and get it published in a journal?
#205
⇓
-That would be fantastic(!) -I'll let you mull it over.
#206
⇓
-That would be fantastic(!) -I'll let you mull it over.
#207
⇓
And smile, Mr Davis.
#208
⇓
And smile, Mr Davis.
#209
⇓
Tomorrow's gonna be a better day... for everyone.
#210
⇓
Tomorrow's gonna be a better day... for everyone.
#211
⇓
# "In The Mood" - The Glenn Miller Orchestra
#212
⇓
# "In The Mood" - The Glenn Miller Orchestra
#213
⇓
-Dr Kelso. Happy anniversary. Oh!
#214
⇓
-Dr Kelso. Happy anniversary. Oh!
#215
⇓
-Excuse me, sir.
#216
⇓
-Excuse me, sir.
#217
⇓
-Sir. Whoa!
#218
⇓
-Sir. Whoa!
#219
⇓
-Carla, I figured out why we don't hang out more.
#220
⇓
-That's great, Elliot, but I'm prepping a patient for surgery.
#221
⇓
-That's great, Elliot, but I'm prepping a patient for surgery.
#222
⇓
-She's my patient, too. I traded so we could talk.
#223
⇓
-She's my patient, too. I traded so we could talk.
#224
⇓
-Are you friends? -We're about to be.
#225
⇓
-Are you friends? -We're about to be.
#226
⇓
-Oh, my God. -You're stuck on your first impression of me -
#227
⇓
-Oh, my God. -You're stuck on your first impression of me -
#228
⇓
I'm some narrow-minded spoiled brat. -Elliot, not now, OK?
#229
⇓
I'm some narrow-minded spoiled brat. -Elliot, not now, OK?
#230
⇓
-When I was a kid, I was close with my maid. -That's it.
#231
⇓
-When I was a kid, I was close with my maid. -That's it.
#232
⇓
You think you get my experience because you spent time
#233
⇓
You think you get my experience because you spent time
#234
⇓
with the Latina woman who cleaned your house?
#235
⇓
with the Latina woman who cleaned your house?
#236
⇓
-What? Our maid was white. -What was her name?
#237
⇓
-What? Our maid was white. -What was her name?
#238
⇓
-Consuela. I don't always say the right thing but you know I'm trying.
#239
⇓
-Consuela. I don't always say the right thing but you know I'm trying.
#240
⇓
We have nothing in common. I have things in common with nice people.
#241
⇓
We have nothing in common. I have things in common with nice people.
#242
⇓
-Oh, so - -You two realise I can still hear you, right?
#243
⇓
-Oh, so - -You two realise I can still hear you, right?
#244
⇓
(BOTH) Hi.
#245
⇓
(BOTH) Hi.
#246
⇓
-Dr Carlson, if paediatrics needs a new bronchoscope, you'll get one.
#247
⇓
-Dr Carlson, if paediatrics needs a new bronchoscope, you'll get one.
#248
⇓
Love to the wife and kidlets. Who's next?
#249
⇓
Love to the wife and kidlets. Who's next?
#250
⇓
-Hey, do me a favour. Hold my place.
#251
⇓
-Hey, do me a favour. Hold my place.
#252
⇓
-For how long? -Uh, I don't know.
#253
⇓
-Well, why? What do you have to do? -Nothing. Might just veg.
#254
⇓
-Well, why? What do you have to do? -Nothing. Might just veg.
#255
⇓
-Well, why? What do you have to do? -Nothing. Might just veg.
#256
⇓
-Seriously. Try me. I can do it with anything. -Go away.
#257
⇓
-Seriously. Try me. I can do it with anything. -Go away.
#258
⇓
-Go ashmay. -Alright, try this one...
#259
⇓
-Go ashmay. -Alright, try this one...
#260
⇓
-Put on your flats. We're going for a walk.
#261
⇓
-Eat shmit and die. 'Life can be full of surprises.'
#262
⇓
-Eat shmit and die. 'Life can be full of surprises.'
#263
⇓
'Some are forgetting something you were supposed to ask for.'
#264
⇓
'Some are forgetting something you were supposed to ask for.'
#265
⇓
-Dr Kelso! Is he gone?
#266
⇓
-Dr Kelso! Is he gone?
#267
⇓
'Some are so unexpected that -everything else takes a back seat...'
#268
⇓
'Some are so unexpected that -everything else takes a back seat...'
#269
⇓
-I don't know what surgery you're having.
#270
⇓
-I don't know what surgery you're having.
#271
⇓
-I'm getting big fake breasts.
#272
⇓
-I'm getting big fake breasts.
#273
⇓
'..and some -you never thought you'd hear.'
#274
⇓
-I don't tell you I respect you a lot because, well, I don't. -I know.
#275
⇓
-I don't tell you I respect you a lot because, well, I don't. -I know.
#276
⇓
-But the fact that you're not jumping through hoops like these peons...
#277
⇓
-But the fact that you're not jumping through hoops like these peons...
#278
⇓
Yes, you. Forever you. A thousand times you. Move. Move it!
#279
⇓
Yes, you. Forever you. A thousand times you. Move. Move it!
#280
⇓
Yes, you. Forever you. A thousand times you. Move. Move it!
#281
⇓
Anyway, let's make pretend it's your birthday or something, because...
#282
⇓
Anyway, let's make pretend it's your birthday or something, because...
#283
⇓
Oh, hell. I'm impressed. Let's get some coffee.
#284
⇓
Oh, hell. I'm impressed. Let's get some coffee.
#285
⇓
'This is great. There's only -one problem. Ten minutes ago...'
#286
⇓
'This is great. There's only -one problem. Ten minutes ago...'
#287
⇓
-Go ahead and use me in your report.
#288
⇓
-Go ahead and use me in your report.
#289
⇓
-I'm going to Reno! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
#290
⇓
-I'm going to Reno! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
#291
⇓
-Beg your pardon, newbie. What are you thinking?
#292
⇓
-Beg your pardon, newbie. What are you thinking?
#293
⇓
-Not about Reno. 'Attagirl.' -Let's go.
#294
⇓
-Not about Reno. 'Attagirl.' -Let's go.
#295
⇓
'(SIGHS)'
#296
⇓
'(SIGHS)'
#297
⇓
'With every sip of coffee that Dr Cox bought me,
#298
⇓
'With every sip of coffee that Dr Cox bought me,
#299
⇓
I could taste my hypocrisy. Whoa!'
#300
⇓
I could taste my hypocrisy. Whoa!'
#301
⇓
'Thank God my hypocrisy missed me.'
#302
⇓
-The reason I wanted you to stand in line for me is I needed a new mop.
#303
⇓
-The reason I wanted you to stand in line for me is I needed a new mop.
#304
⇓
The floors are slippery cos this one doesn't work. You know why?
#305
⇓
The floors are slippery cos this one doesn't work. You know why?
#306
⇓
-It's out of mop gas? -No.
#307
⇓
-It's out of mop gas? -No.
#308
⇓
Cos it's so old, it won't soak up water. See?
#309
⇓
Cos it's so old, it won't soak up water. See?
#310
⇓
'Something in that -filthy mop water woke me up.'
#311
⇓
'Something in that -filthy mop water woke me up.'
#312
⇓
'I decided I could have my cake and eat it too.'
#313
⇓
'I decided I could have my cake and eat it too.'
#314
⇓
'Dr Cox would never know.'
#315
⇓
'Dr Cox would never know.'
#316
⇓
-What do you say there, bridge club? -I feel like crap. What's wrong?
#317
⇓
-What do you say there, bridge club? -I feel like crap. What's wrong?
#318
⇓
-Your abdominal pain suggests biliary disease,
#319
⇓
-Your abdominal pain suggests biliary disease,
#320
⇓
but your tests came back negative. We don't know.
#321
⇓
-But don't worry. Dr Cox and I never say die.
#322
⇓
-But don't worry. Dr Cox and I never say die.
#323
⇓
Unless, of course, someone actually dies. Then we're forced to by law.
#324
⇓
Unless, of course, someone actually dies. Then we're forced to by law.
#325
⇓
-He's talking again. -Oh, come on. The kid's OK.
#326
⇓
-He's talking again. -Oh, come on. The kid's OK.
#327
⇓
'The kid? This is great.' -So, why haven't I heard your name?
#328
⇓
'The kid? This is great.' -So, why haven't I heard your name?
#329
⇓
-He's just started calling me the kid, which I love. -She's talking to me.
#330
⇓
-He's just started calling me the kid, which I love. -She's talking to me.
#331
⇓
-He's just started calling me the kid, which I love. -She's talking to me.
#332
⇓
-OK. -You should be more than just an attending. Let me make a call.
#333
⇓
-OK. -You should be more than just an attending. Let me make a call.
#334
⇓
-I'm not so good with hand-outs. -I'm only putting in a good word.
#335
⇓
-I'm not so good with hand-outs. -I'm only putting in a good word.
#336
⇓
-I'll tell you what, bubby. If you want to help me,
#337
⇓
-I'll tell you what, bubby. If you want to help me,
#338
⇓
why don't you quiet down and get yourself some rest.
#339
⇓
why don't you quiet down and get yourself some rest.
#340
⇓
If you're a good girl, I'll wind up your car and take you to a talkie.
#341
⇓
If you're a good girl, I'll wind up your car and take you to a talkie.
#342
⇓
-Oh, I could do naughty things to that man. -Uncomfortable.
#343
⇓
-Oh, I could do naughty things to that man. -Uncomfortable.
#344
⇓
-You're getting fake breasts? -Stripper big.
#345
⇓
-Forgive me, Mrs Kellerman, but why wait until now to do this?
#346
⇓
-Forgive me, Mrs Kellerman, but why wait until now to do this?
#347
⇓
-Cos you're so old. -Yeah, Elliot. She gets that.
#348
⇓
-Cos you're so old. -Yeah, Elliot. She gets that.
#349
⇓
-I'm sure she gets it all the time.
#350
⇓
-I'm sure she gets it all the time.
#351
⇓
-I've been self-conscious my whole life and I finally got the courage.
#352
⇓
-I've been self-conscious my whole life and I finally got the courage.
#353
⇓
Can you honestly say there's not one thing you'd change about yourself?
#354
⇓
Can you honestly say there's not one thing you'd change about yourself?
#355
⇓
-I can honestly say that. -Me too.
#356
⇓
-I can honestly say that. -Me too.
#357
⇓
-Then you're both liars. -Hey, Mrs K.
#358
⇓
-Then you're both liars. -Hey, Mrs K.
#359
⇓
Let's get you into a fresh pair of blouse bunnies.
#360
⇓
-To hell with this "there's only one day to ask Kelso for stuff" thing.
#361
⇓
-To hell with this "there's only one day to ask Kelso for stuff" thing.
#362
⇓
I'm getting that argon laser today.
#363
⇓
# What a difference
#364
⇓
# What a difference
#365
⇓
# A day made
#366
⇓
# A day made
#367
⇓
-Heya! -Waugh!
#368
⇓
# Twenty four little hours #
#369
⇓
-Dr Kelso? -Yah!
#370
⇓
-Dr Kelso? -Yah!
#371
⇓
-Hey, Dr Kelso. -Ah! Ha. Ha. Ha.
#372
⇓
-Hey, Dr Kelso. -Ah! Ha. Ha. Ha.
#373
⇓
-Argh! So uncalled for.
#374
⇓
-Argh! So uncalled for.
#375
⇓
-What? -Nothing.
#376
⇓
-And you? -Nothing, sir. I don't want anything from you ever.
#377
⇓
-And you? -Nothing, sir. I don't want anything from you ever.
#378
⇓
-That's what my son says. But on Mother's Day,
#379
⇓
-That's what my son says. But on Mother's Day,
#380
⇓
guess who wants me to go halfsies?!
#381
⇓
-But, sir, I - -She's not my mother, dammit!
#382
⇓
-But, sir, I - -She's not my mother, dammit!
#383
⇓
Don't think that I've forgotten
#384
⇓
Don't think that I've forgotten
#385
⇓
that you have yet to turn in a report. You have until six!
#386
⇓
that you have yet to turn in a report. You have until six!
#387
⇓
-You can't just change your mind!
#388
⇓
-I'm sorry. Did I pass out from the pain in my penis
#389
⇓
-I'm sorry. Did I pass out from the pain in my penis
#390
⇓
and suddenly we're not in America any more?
#391
⇓
and suddenly we're not in America any more?
#392
⇓
'Crap!'
#393
⇓
'Crap!'
#394
⇓
-What's this? -It's a mop.
#395
⇓
-I got that. Why'd you get it for me?
#396
⇓
-I got that. Why'd you get it for me?
#397
⇓
-Cos I thought it would be nice. Why? Don't you like it?
#398
⇓
-Cos I thought it would be nice. Why? Don't you like it?
#399
⇓
Well?
#400
⇓
Well?
#401
⇓
-Hmmm.
#402
⇓
Ugh. Hang on.
#403
⇓
Ugh. Hang on.
#404
⇓
-Man, today could not get any worse.
#405
⇓
-Man, today could not get any worse.
#406
⇓
-If you changed one thing about my appearance, what would it be?
#407
⇓
-If you changed one thing about my appearance, what would it be?
#408
⇓
-You're testing me. I get it.
#409
⇓
-I don't like you talking to God when we're having a discussion. -Mmm-hmm.
#410
⇓
-I don't like you talking to God when we're having a discussion. -Mmm-hmm.
#411
⇓
-Now, if I were to be really honest with myself,
#412
⇓
I would change everything.
#413
⇓
I would change everything.
#414
⇓
What do you think?
#415
⇓
What do you think?
#416
⇓
-Why don't we just skip what I think
#417
⇓
and jump ahead to not having sex for a month?
#418
⇓
and jump ahead to not having sex for a month?
#419
⇓
Are all women this crazy?
#420
⇓
Are all women this crazy?
#421
⇓
'I hate my cheeks. Suck them in.' -I'll take some of that.
#422
⇓
'I hate my cheeks. Suck them in.' -I'll take some of that.
#423
⇓
'That's right. Work it, baby. Mmm. Now you're smoking'
#424
⇓
'That's right. Work it, baby. Mmm. Now you're smoking'
#425
⇓
(IMAGINARY MIRROR SMASHES) God, I'm hideous.
#426
⇓
(IMAGINARY MIRROR SMASHES) God, I'm hideous.
#427
⇓
-Good news. We've got a pretty good idea of what's going on in there.
#428
⇓
-Good news. We've got a pretty good idea of what's going on in there.
#429
⇓
'So I don't have a case. At least -this way we get to stay a team.'
#430
⇓
'So I don't have a case. At least -this way we get to stay a team.'
#431
⇓
-The EGD showed multiple erosive peptic ulcers.
#432
⇓
-The EGD showed multiple erosive peptic ulcers.
#433
⇓
The secretin injection test was positive, which suggests you have
#434
⇓
The secretin injection test was positive, which suggests you have
#435
⇓
gastronominous Zollinger Ellison Syndrome.
#436
⇓
gastronominous Zollinger Ellison Syndrome.
#437
⇓
-In English, please. -Your stomach acid is eroding your own intestines.
#438
⇓
-In English, please. -Your stomach acid is eroding your own intestines.
#439
⇓
It's remarkable. I've never seen anything like it. Newbie, you?
#440
⇓
It's remarkable. I've never seen anything like it. Newbie, you?
#441
⇓
-No. 'That's when I realised she was the most interesting case.'
#442
⇓
-No. 'That's when I realised she was the most interesting case.'
#443
⇓
-It's treatable. I'm going to step outside. Then we'll get under way.
#444
⇓
-It's treatable. I'm going to step outside. Then we'll get under way.
#445
⇓
Newbie, what do you say? 'I had to go for it.'
#446
⇓
Newbie, what do you say? 'I had to go for it.'
#447
⇓
If you can give me a second, I wanna ask Mrs Warner something. -What?
#448
⇓
If you can give me a second, I wanna ask Mrs Warner something. -What?
#449
⇓
-To marry me. -Come on. Heel, toe. What do you say, kid?
#450
⇓
-To marry me. -Come on. Heel, toe. What do you say, kid?
#451
⇓
-To marry me. -Come on. Heel, toe. What do you say, kid?
#452
⇓
Come on.
#453
⇓
Come on.
#454
⇓
-Would you give me permission to present your case to be published
#455
⇓
-Would you give me permission to present your case to be published
#456
⇓
in a journal so I may be chosen to go to a conference?
#457
⇓
in a journal so I may be chosen to go to a conference?
#458
⇓
-Sure. Why not.
#459
⇓
-Thanks. Excuse me.
#460
⇓
-Thanks. Excuse me.
#461
⇓
-Dr Kelso? Can I have a minute of your time?
#462
⇓
-Dr Kelso? Can I have a minute of your time?
#463
⇓
-I have two more days of peace before my wife returns from fat camp.
#464
⇓
-I have two more days of peace before my wife returns from fat camp.
#465
⇓
-Look. I need an argon laser.
#466
⇓
-Look. I need an argon laser.
#467
⇓
I was gonna ask yesterday... Hold up.
#468
⇓
I was gonna ask yesterday... Hold up.
#469
⇓
How can you make love to your wife if she's at camp?
#470
⇓
How can you make love to your wife if she's at camp?
#471
⇓
-The real question is how can I when she's not?
#472
⇓
-The real question is how can I when she's not?
#473
⇓
-Sir, you lied to us. -Hi. I'm Bob Kelso, nice to meet you.
#474
⇓
-Sir, you lied to us. -Hi. I'm Bob Kelso, nice to meet you.
#475
⇓
If people think I'm only giving once a year,
#476
⇓
they'll only ask me for things once a year, capisce?
#477
⇓
Now, get out of my eye line. Nurse Tisdale is wearing ankle socks.
#478
⇓
Now, get out of my eye line. Nurse Tisdale is wearing ankle socks.
#479
⇓
-How about I don't? How about you help me out
#480
⇓
-How about I don't? How about you help me out
#481
⇓
and I won't tell anybody about this?
#482
⇓
Unless you like it when people...
#483
⇓
Unless you like it when people...
#484
⇓
..come and ask you for stuff every day.
#485
⇓
..come and ask you for stuff every day.
#486
⇓
-Fat camp. Six years she's been going
#487
⇓
and the only thing getting thinner is my wallet.
#488
⇓
and the only thing getting thinner is my wallet.
#489
⇓
-Is JD here? -No, it's just me.
#490
⇓
-Is JD here? -No, it's just me.
#491
⇓
-Oh, um,... I guess I'll just wait too.
#492
⇓
-Oh, um,... I guess I'll just wait too.
#493
⇓
-Crap. -Fine. I'll wait outside.
#494
⇓
-Crap. -Fine. I'll wait outside.
#495
⇓
-No! I was talking to my hair.
#496
⇓
-No! I was talking to my hair.
#497
⇓
If it's even the least bit humid, all of a sudden I'm Dr Jay.
#498
⇓
If it's even the least bit humid, all of a sudden I'm Dr Jay.
#499
⇓
-Is he in radiology?
#500
⇓
-Yeah. Uh huh.
#501
⇓
-Carla, I would kill for your hair.
#502
⇓
-Really? -Yeah.
#503
⇓
-Really? -Yeah.
#504
⇓
-I would kill for your legs. -I would kill for your lips.
#505
⇓
-I would kill for your legs. -I would kill for your lips.
#506
⇓
-I'd kill for that wagon your dragging
#507
⇓
-I'd kill for that wagon your dragging
#508
⇓
That's your butt. -Oh, thank you!
#509
⇓
That's your butt. -Oh, thank you!
#510
⇓
Wagon? -Dragging!
#511
⇓
Wagon? -Dragging!
#512
⇓
-I won! Thank you, Mrs Warner.
#513
⇓
-I won! Thank you, Mrs Warner.
#514
⇓
In your face! In your face! In your...
#515
⇓
In your face! In your face! In your...
#516
⇓
..face. -Congratulations.
#517
⇓
..face. -Congratulations.
#518
⇓
You get to represent the Kelso Kennel Club at the big show in Reno.
#519
⇓
You get to represent the Kelso Kennel Club at the big show in Reno.
#520
⇓
Just remember when you are posing in front of the judges to keep that
#521
⇓
Just remember when you are posing in front of the judges to keep that
#522
⇓
behind of yours held up high, like the proud little puppy that you are.
#523
⇓
behind of yours held up high, like the proud little puppy that you are.
#524
⇓
behind of yours held up high, like the proud little puppy that you are.
#525
⇓
When it's time to hand out those ribbons it will exciting for you.
#526
⇓
When it's time to hand out those ribbons it will exciting for you.
#527
⇓
But for the love of God, Newbie, you've gotta try, try, try
#528
⇓
But for the love of God, Newbie, you've gotta try, try, try
#529
⇓
not to squeeze out a dookie on the Astro Turf.
#530
⇓
Cos, uh,... I mean, God forbid
#531
⇓
Cos, uh,... I mean, God forbid
#532
⇓
you were ever an embarrassment to Master Bob, right?
#533
⇓
you were ever an embarrassment to Master Bob, right?
#534
⇓
-You know, I don't care what you think. -Yeah, you do.
#535
⇓
-You know, I don't care what you think. -Yeah, you do.
#536
⇓
-I know. Ugh!
#537
⇓
-I know. Ugh!
#538
⇓
Look, I wanna be like you...
#539
⇓
..but a more successful you.
#540
⇓
..but a more successful you.
#541
⇓
There's nothing wrong with playing the game once in a while.
#542
⇓
There's nothing wrong with playing the game once in a while.
#543
⇓
Ten years from now, when I'm your boss,
#544
⇓
Ten years from now, when I'm your boss,
#545
⇓
I'll throw in a good word. You won't have to ask,...
#546
⇓
I'll throw in a good word. You won't have to ask,...
#547
⇓
..sir.
#548
⇓
..sir.
#549
⇓
# Son,
#550
⇓
# What have you done?
#551
⇓
# What have you done?
#552
⇓
'I think that life comes down to the choices you've made along the way.'
#553
⇓
'I think that life comes down to the choices you've made along the way.'
#554
⇓
'Like the choice to stand up to a superior.'
#555
⇓
'Like the choice to stand up to a superior.'
#556
⇓
# Life
#557
⇓
# Life
#558
⇓
# Can't be so easy
#559
⇓
# Can't be so easy
#560
⇓
'Or to focus on what you have in common instead of what you don't.'
#561
⇓
'Or to focus on what you have in common instead of what you don't.'
#562
⇓
# Cos you're not
#563
⇓
# Cos you're not
#564
⇓
# In control no more
#565
⇓
# And you give it all away
#566
⇓
# And you give it all away
#567
⇓
'Or the choice to let someone help you for once.'
#568
⇓
'Or the choice to let someone help you for once.'
#569
⇓
# Would you give it all away?
#570
⇓
# Don't let it come apart #
#571
⇓
# Don't let it come apart #
#572
⇓
'You just have to trust your decisions.'
#573
⇓
'You just have to trust your decisions.'
#574
⇓
-We gotta get you some bigger hands.
#575
⇓
'And hopefully, -you'll land on solid ground.'
#576
⇓
'And hopefully, -you'll land on solid ground.'
#577
⇓
What about your new mop? -I like my old one.
#578
⇓
-But you cried. -No, that was you.
#579
⇓
-But you cried. -No, that was you.
#580
⇓
-Augh! It's a good one.
#581
⇓
-Edited by Access Innovation Media www.ai-media.tv
#582
⇓
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