Scrubs

I can't stress enough how much you gotta avoid red meat.

#1

⇓

I can't stress enough how much you gotta avoid red meat.

#2

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Cirrhosis of your liver is preventing it from filtering out the toxins.

#3

⇓

Cirrhosis of your liver is preventing it from filtering out the toxins.

#4

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If those get to your brain you become encephalopathic,

#5

⇓

leading to mental change. -So, what, I'm gonna start acting all crazy?

#6

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leading to mental change. -So, what, I'm gonna start acting all crazy?

#7

⇓

-You'll need a tin hat to hold in your thoughts!

#8

⇓

-I can still have a tiny bite of my wife's carne asada, right? -Well...

#9

⇓

-I can still have a tiny bite of my wife's carne asada, right? -Well...

#10

⇓

'I always know I can count on Carla to be the bad cop.'

#11

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'I always know I can count on Carla to be the bad cop.'

#12

⇓

-What part of "no meat" don't you understand?

#13

⇓

-What part of "no meat" don't you understand?

#14

⇓

I just thought - -Carla!

#15

⇓

I just thought - -Carla!

#16

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-If you don't listen to Dr Dorian, you're gonna answer to me.

#17

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-If you don't listen to Dr Dorian, you're gonna answer to me.

#18

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-OK! Ix-nay on the eat-may. -Right.

#19

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'We're a team.' (TITTERS) What?

#20

⇓

-"Eat-may" sounds like "eat me"!

#21

⇓

-"Eat-may" sounds like "eat me"!

#22

⇓

'Of course, on some teams, there's gonna be friction.'

#23

⇓

'Of course, on some teams, there's gonna be friction.'

#24

⇓

-Alright, we're done here. Bonnie, you close.

#25

⇓

-Alright, we're done here. Bonnie, you close.

#26

⇓

-Damn! -Aw, don't be mad. Just be the good little biatch you are and wipe the sweat off my forehead.

#27

⇓

-Damn! -Aw, don't be mad. Just be the good little biatch you are and wipe the sweat off my forehead.

#28

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-Look, don't say "biatch". You can't pull it off, which is interesting,

#29

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-Look, don't say "biatch". You can't pull it off, which is interesting,

#30

⇓

being that you're the queen mother of all -

#31

⇓

-Dr Wen, my forehead's a little misty.

#32

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-Dr Wen, my forehead's a little misty.

#33

⇓

-Dr Turk, are your hands broken?

#34

⇓

-Dr Turk, are your hands broken?

#35

⇓

-No.

#36

⇓

Here you go. -Mmm, that's nice,...

#37

⇓

Here you go. -Mmm, that's nice,...

#38

⇓

..biatch! (SIGHS)

#39

⇓

'And some teams -never seem to get together.'

#40

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'And some teams -never seem to get together.'

#41

⇓

-Dr Cox! I'm so glad I caught you. I needed to - -And there it is again -

#42

⇓

-Dr Cox! I'm so glad I caught you. I needed to - -And there it is again -

#43

⇓

that ringing in my ears. It's kind of an "Ahh!" but it's more piercing. More of an "Eeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

#44

⇓

that ringing in my ears. It's kind of an "Ahh!" but it's more piercing. More of an "Eeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

#45

⇓

that ringing in my ears. It's kind of an "Ahh!" but it's more piercing. More of an "Eeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

#46

⇓

-She's trying to ask you a question. -You, you're more of a low-pitched "Ooga-ooga-ooga."

#47

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-She's trying to ask you a question. -You, you're more of a low-pitched "Ooga-ooga-ooga."

#48

⇓

It's more masculine, which, quite frankly,

#49

⇓

It's more masculine, which, quite frankly,

#50

⇓

is surprising considering the source, but make no mistake,

#51

⇓

is surprising considering the source, but make no mistake,

#52

⇓

oh, just equally annoying! Luckily, though,

#53

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oh, just equally annoying! Luckily, though,

#54

⇓

I know how to make the pain go away!

#55

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I know how to make the pain go away!

#56

⇓

Ah! Much better! -Can you believe that?

#57

⇓

I mean, every time we even try to talk to him, he starts going off...

#58

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I mean, every time we even try to talk to him, he starts going off...

#59

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I mean, every time we even try to talk to him, he starts going off...

#60

⇓

'Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.'

#61

⇓

-You know? -Clearly, we're on the same page.

#62

⇓

-You know? -Clearly, we're on the same page.

#63

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-We're residents now. We should be treated like colleagues. I can't get him to notice me.

#64

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-We're residents now. We should be treated like colleagues. I can't get him to notice me.

#65

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-We're residents now. We should be treated like colleagues. I can't get him to notice me.

#66

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Oh! Uh... Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!

#67

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Oh! Uh... Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!

#68

⇓

Agh!

#69

⇓

-OK. (WHISTLES)

#70

⇓

-Maybe if you wore your hair up?

#71

⇓

-Maybe if you wore your hair up?

#72

⇓

# I can't do this all on my own

#73

⇓

# I can't do this all on my own

#74

⇓

# No, I know I'm no Superman

#75

⇓

# I'm no Superman #

#76

⇓

# I'm no Superman #

#77

⇓

-What's up? 'Be careful, here.'

#78

⇓

-What's up? 'Be careful, here.'

#79

⇓

'Don't give him anything.'

#80

⇓

'Don't give him anything.'

#81

⇓

Nothing. What is up with you, man?

#82

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-I always get this way in the fall. Summer's gone, the days are shorter.

#83

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-I always get this way in the fall. Summer's gone, the days are shorter.

#84

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It just makes me feel so... What's the word?

#85

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It just makes me feel so... What's the word?

#86

⇓

-Sad?

#87

⇓

-Sad?

#88

⇓

-Yes, that's it. I'm a janitor, so I couldn't think of the word "sad".

#89

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-Yes, that's it. I'm a janitor, so I couldn't think of the word "sad".

#90

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I was gonna say it makes me feel so "mop".

#91

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I was gonna say it makes me feel so "mop".

#92

⇓

-Let me explain. I - -Go ahead. I'm mopping...

#93

⇓

-Let me explain. I - -Go ahead. I'm mopping...

#94

⇓

-Maybe I shouldn't bother. -Maybe you mopn't.

#95

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'I guess after a while, -you stop being surprised by people.'

#96

⇓

-Yeah, I'm gonna be needing a room.

#97

⇓

-Yeah, I'm gonna be needing a room.

#98

⇓

Who can say no to 49-cent cheeseburgers?

#99

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Who can say no to 49-cent cheeseburgers?

#100

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-But tack on the cost of medicine, your room, and pumping your stomach,

#101

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-But tack on the cost of medicine, your room, and pumping your stomach,

#102

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and that 49-cent cheeseburger is gonna run you $1,300.

#103

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and that 49-cent cheeseburger is gonna run you $1,300.

#104

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-See? That's how they get you. -Right.

#105

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-See? That's how they get you. -Right.

#106

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-Your brother called. -Cool. -I didn't know you had a brother.

#107

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-That's my pet name for Turk - he's mine, and a black man. My brother!

#108

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-That's my pet name for Turk - he's mine, and a black man. My brother!

#109

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-That's my pet name for Turk - he's mine, and a black man. My brother!

#110

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-Adorable! Do you think he'd mind if I called him that? -JD, I was kidding!

#111

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-Adorable! Do you think he'd mind if I called him that? -JD, I was kidding!

#112

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-I know. I'm still gonna ask.

#113

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-I know. I'm still gonna ask.

#114

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How come I don't know anything about your family?

#115

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-I don't know. I'm not big on sharing my personal life with people.

#116

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-I don't know. I'm not big on sharing my personal life with people.

#117

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-But you know everything about me!

#118

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-But you know everything about me!

#119

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You know I have them switch Lauren's shifts so we end up working together.

#120

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You know I have them switch Lauren's shifts so we end up working together.

#121

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-I didn't know that. -Well, you do now, because I'm "sharing" with you!

#122

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-I didn't know that. -Well, you do now, because I'm "sharing" with you!

#123

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-Ok, I'm "leaving" now. -Wow!

#124

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-Ok, I'm "leaving" now. -Wow!

#125

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-Another Friday night!? That's three in a row! -I know. It's so unfair.

#126

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-Another Friday night!? That's three in a row! -I know. It's so unfair.

#127

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(SNIFFS) I'm mad about it.

#128

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-Bonnie is killing me. I cannot beat this woman no matter what I try!

#129

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-Bonnie is killing me. I cannot beat this woman no matter what I try!

#130

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She's like a ninja but worse! -Nothing's worse than a ninja.

#131

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She's like a ninja but worse! -Nothing's worse than a ninja.

#132

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They're masters of every style of combat. -Can we talk about something other than Bonnie?

#133

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They're masters of every style of combat. -Can we talk about something other than Bonnie?

#134

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They're masters of every style of combat. -Can we talk about something other than Bonnie?

#135

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-You should give Bonnie a break. It's hard being a woman around here.

#136

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-You should give Bonnie a break. It's hard being a woman around here.

#137

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You can walk through walls and nobody notices you. -Not unlike a ninja!

#138

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You can walk through walls and nobody notices you. -Not unlike a ninja!

#139

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-Whatever. I'm out.

#140

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-Whatever. I'm out.

#141

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-Catch you later, my brother! -I'll holla!

#142

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-Catch you later, my brother! -I'll holla!

#143

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-He said "holla".

#144

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-He said "holla".

#145

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-Mr Tillman's results are back. It's bad. -Damn it, Laverne!

#146

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-Mr Tillman's results are back. It's bad. -Damn it, Laverne!

#147

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Why can't I ever be the one dying? -I don't know.

#148

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Why can't I ever be the one dying? -I don't know.

#149

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-It... was... rhetorical. If you tell Mrs Tillman that I'll be right out, that would be just terrific(!)

#150

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-It... was... rhetorical. If you tell Mrs Tillman that I'll be right out, that would be just terrific(!)

#151

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-It... was... rhetorical. If you tell Mrs Tillman that I'll be right out, that would be just terrific(!)

#152

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-Dr Cox! Mr Tillman is my patient, too. -He is?

#153

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-Yeah, I was in the room with you this morning, remember? -Er,... no.

#154

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-Yeah, I was in the room with you this morning, remember? -Er,... no.

#155

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-Yeah, I was in the room with you this morning, remember? -Er,... no.

#156

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-Well, I was. Anyway, um, I... If you want, I-I could talk to his wife,

#157

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-Well, I was. Anyway, um, I... If you want, I-I could talk to his wife,

#158

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because I... just really enjoy that kind of stuff. -Wait a minute...

#159

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because I... just really enjoy that kind of stuff. -Wait a minute...

#160

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Are you saying you enjoy telling people their spouses are going to die?

#161

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Are you saying you enjoy telling people their spouses are going to die?

#162

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-Yep. I know that sounds weird, but I just like being there for people.

#163

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-Yep. I know that sounds weird, but I just like being there for people.

#164

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It's kind of why I became a doctor in the first place.

#165

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It's kind of why I became a doctor in the first place.

#166

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-It's nice to know where the magic began!

#167

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-It's nice to know where the magic began!

#168

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There you go.

#169

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There you go.

#170

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-So! How are my girls today? Fantastic. Listen - -Dr Kelso,...

#171

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-So! How are my girls today? Fantastic. Listen - -Dr Kelso,...

#172

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..if you're here to do your "How are my girls? Let me tell you some things you don't want to hear"

#173

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..if you're here to do your "How are my girls? Let me tell you some things you don't want to hear"

#174

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..if you're here to do your "How are my girls? Let me tell you some things you don't want to hear"

#175

⇓

routines, I'm in a mood, so it's probably best to turn and leave.

#176

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routines, I'm in a mood, so it's probably best to turn and leave.

#177

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-Young lady, I will not be spoken to like that!

#178

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Luckily for you, I have to go see Mrs Pfitztuffulla down in Pfofferoptrics.

#179

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Luckily for you, I have to go see Mrs Pfitztuffulla down in Pfofferoptrics.

#180

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Luckily for you, I have to go see Mrs Pfitztuffulla down in Pfofferoptrics.

#181

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-Attaboy. -Rough day, huh?

#182

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-Attaboy. -Rough day, huh?

#183

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Well, maybe it would help to share... with someone!

#184

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Well, maybe it would help to share... with someone!

#185

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-OK. You want in? You want me to open up?

#186

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-OK. You want in? You want me to open up?

#187

⇓

-I think I can handle it. -Fine!

#188

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-I think I can handle it. -Fine!

#189

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I don't like the way I look. I don't like the way I think.

#190

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I don't like the way I look. I don't like the way I think.

#191

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I have too much hair, my boobs are too low,

#192

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I have too much hair, my boobs are too low,

#193

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my butt is too big, and I'm so short!

#194

⇓

my butt is too big, and I'm so short!

#195

⇓

When I woke up this morning, I cried because I thought I was getting wrinkles,

#196

⇓

When I woke up this morning, I cried because I thought I was getting wrinkles,

#197

⇓

but it turns out I just fell asleep on corduroy pants! -Wow!

#198

⇓

but it turns out I just fell asleep on corduroy pants! -Wow!

#199

⇓

-There. Now you think I'm the craziest woman here!

#200

⇓

-There. Now you think I'm the craziest woman here!

#201

⇓

-Dr Cox let me tell a woman that her husband's dying!

#202

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-Dr Cox let me tell a woman that her husband's dying!

#203

⇓

-No, I don't.

#204

⇓

-So I'm doing

#205

⇓

-So I'm doing

#206

⇓

and you're doing...

#207

⇓

and you're doing...

#208

⇓

..yet another appendectomy. How fun for you(!)

#209

⇓

..yet another appendectomy. How fun for you(!)

#210

⇓

-Call that smack-talk? You shoulda asked me how it feels to be so far below you,

#211

⇓

-Call that smack-talk? You shoulda asked me how it feels to be so far below you,

#212

⇓

I wouldn't be able to read "Suck it, Turk" if you wrote it on your shoe.

#213

⇓

I wouldn't be able to read "Suck it, Turk" if you wrote it on your shoe.

#214

⇓

-OK, how does that feel?

#215

⇓

-OK, how does that feel?

#216

⇓

-Damn! -Doctors! Something I've taken great pride in over the years

#217

⇓

-Damn! -Doctors! Something I've taken great pride in over the years

#218

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is Sacred Heart's involvement in the "Doctors Without Borders" programme.

#219

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is Sacred Heart's involvement in the "Doctors Without Borders" programme.

#220

⇓

Now, every year, I single out the most qualified surgical resident

#221

⇓

Now, every year, I single out the most qualified surgical resident

#222

⇓

to accompany me to Mexico for a weekend.

#223

⇓

to accompany me to Mexico for a weekend.

#224

⇓

Anyway, I've made my decision.

#225

⇓

Anyway, I've made my decision.

#226

⇓

-Thank you, sir. You haven't lived until you've tasted el Todd's guac!

#227

⇓

-Thank you, sir. You haven't lived until you've tasted el Todd's guac!

#228

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-Dr Turk, pack your bag.

#229

⇓

-Dr Turk, pack your bag.

#230

⇓

-Dang!

#231

⇓

-Blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!

#232

⇓

-Blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!

#233

⇓

-Shove it, Turk! -Oh! I'm gonna shove it!

#234

⇓

-Shove it, Turk! -Oh! I'm gonna shove it!

#235

⇓

# And love it! And dance around above it!

#236

⇓

# And love it! And dance around above it!

#237

⇓

# Hey! Shove it and love it! And dance around above it! Come on #

#238

⇓

# Hey! Shove it and love it! And dance around above it! Come on #

#239

⇓

-You see, that's what's really bothering me.

#240

⇓

-You see, that's what's really bothering me.

#241

⇓

-What? Turk and Bonnie? They hate each other!

#242

⇓

-What? Turk and Bonnie? They hate each other!

#243

⇓

-Then why is he doing his "You're so getting a piece of this" dance? -He's not. That's his "in your face" dance.

#244

⇓

-Then why is he doing his "You're so getting a piece of this" dance? -He's not. That's his "in your face" dance.

#245

⇓

-Then why is he doing his "You're so getting a piece of this" dance? -He's not. That's his "in your face" dance.

#246

⇓

Or his "There's a sale on lotion" dance. He's got so many dances.

#247

⇓

Or his "There's a sale on lotion" dance. He's got so many dances.

#248

⇓

-Please! They might as well be naked. Slut!

#249

⇓

-Please! They might as well be naked. Slut!

#250

⇓

-Carla! Trust me. There's no way that he's cheating on you.

#251

⇓

-Carla! Trust me. There's no way that he's cheating on you.

#252

⇓

-Yeah, you're probably right.

#253

⇓

-That's it? You were just freaking out! -Hey, you wanted in!

#254

⇓

-That's it? You were just freaking out! -Hey, you wanted in!

#255

⇓

'Cr-azy!'

#256

⇓

'Cr-azy!'

#257

⇓

-Barbie. -Yessie!

#258

⇓

-How'd it go with Mrs Tillman? -It... was... awesome!

#259

⇓

-How'd it go with Mrs Tillman? -It... was... awesome!

#260

⇓

-How'd it go with Mrs Tillman? -It... was... awesome!

#261

⇓

-It's not possessed! It's for sitting.

#262

⇓

-It's not possessed! It's for sitting.

#263

⇓

-Excuse me? -For God's sake, you must park it.

#264

⇓

-Excuse me? -For God's sake, you must park it.

#265

⇓

Course, what we generally do now is eat.

#266

⇓

Course, what we generally do now is eat.

#267

⇓

Eat.

#268

⇓

-I can't. I'm too nervous.

#269

⇓

-I can't. I'm too nervous.

#270

⇓

-Blaaaaaaaaaahh! -Christopher!

#271

⇓

-Blaaaaaaaaaahh! -Christopher!

#272

⇓

-Sorry, I just can't believe Kelso chose me. -Me neither. I told him to take Bonnie.

#273

⇓

-Sorry, I just can't believe Kelso chose me. -Me neither. I told him to take Bonnie.

#274

⇓

-So, then, why did he pick me? -Among all the surgery residents,

#275

⇓

-So, then, why did he pick me? -Among all the surgery residents,

#276

⇓

what's the difference between you, Bonnie, Todd, Steve, Eric, and VJ?

#277

⇓

what's the difference between you, Bonnie, Todd, Steve, Eric, and VJ?

#278

⇓

what's the difference between you, Bonnie, Todd, Steve, Eric, and VJ?

#279

⇓

-First of all, she's a - -There it is!

#280

⇓

-Wait, because she's - -Yep. -She?

#281

⇓

-Wait, because she's - -Yep. -She?

#282

⇓

-Exactly! -Huh?

#283

⇓

-Exactly! -Huh?

#284

⇓

It's because she's a woman... Damn!

#285

⇓

It's because she's a woman... Damn!

#286

⇓

Fork! Me can't eat soup!

#287

⇓

Fork! Me can't eat soup!

#288

⇓

(HOWLS)

#289

⇓

-Look, I don't think you're stupid. Your job requires a lot of know-how.

#290

⇓

-Look, I don't think you're stupid. Your job requires a lot of know-how.

#291

⇓

-Look, I don't think you're stupid. Your job requires a lot of know-how.

#292

⇓

I mean it's not like you're ladling out sloppy joes or something.

#293

⇓

I mean it's not like you're ladling out sloppy joes or something.

#294

⇓

You know, m-my uncle w-w-was a joer. Yeah...

#295

⇓

You know, m-my uncle w-w-was a joer. Yeah...

#296

⇓

-Let me fill you in on this guy. -JD!

#297

⇓

-Let me fill you in on this guy. -JD!

#298

⇓

-Oh, thank God!

#299

⇓

-Oh, thank God!

#300

⇓

A lot happens in the cafeteria. Whether you've just accidentally stolen your lunch,...

#301

⇓

A lot happens in the cafeteria. Whether you've just accidentally stolen your lunch,...

#302

⇓

..or you've finally gotten someone to notice you,...

#303

⇓

..or you've finally gotten someone to notice you,...

#304

⇓

..or you've connected with a friend on a level you didn't know you could. The cafeteria is just a happy place.

#305

⇓

..or you've connected with a friend on a level you didn't know you could. The cafeteria is just a happy place.

#306

⇓

..or you've connected with a friend on a level you didn't know you could. The cafeteria is just a happy place.

#307

⇓

What's wrong with him? -The only reason I'm going to Mexico

#308

⇓

What's wrong with him? -The only reason I'm going to Mexico

#309

⇓

is cos Bonnie is not a guy. -Sorry, baby.

#310

⇓

is cos Bonnie is not a guy. -Sorry, baby.

#311

⇓

-I can't believe you think I've got a thing for her! 'Oh, no!'

#312

⇓

-I can't believe you think I've got a thing for her! 'Oh, no!'

#313

⇓

-Who told you that?

#314

⇓

JD told you that?! -Mm-hmm.

#315

⇓

-Hey, when did you guys learn sign language?!

#316

⇓

-Hey, when did you guys learn sign language?!

#317

⇓

Night classes? Wait.When did -I -learn sign language?!

#318

⇓

Night classes? Wait.When did -I -learn sign language?!

#319

⇓

-JD said you're a big ol' can o' crazy.

#320

⇓

-JD said you're a big ol' can o' crazy.

#321

⇓

-A little can. A very tiny,...

#322

⇓

-A little can. A very tiny,...

#323

⇓

..small can. -Nah, you said big can.

#324

⇓

..small can. -Nah, you said big can.

#325

⇓

-Mr Hogan, I've come up with a little mantra for you. -Hit me.

#326

⇓

-Mr Hogan, I've come up with a little mantra for you. -Hit me.

#327

⇓

-If meat is your treat, your oesophageal varices will bleed,

#328

⇓

-If meat is your treat, your oesophageal varices will bleed,

#329

⇓

causing you to digest your blood, leading to a horrible death! -Catchy!

#330

⇓

causing you to digest your blood, leading to a horrible death! -Catchy!

#331

⇓

-Just say it over and over. -Horrible death...

#332

⇓

-Just say it over and over. -Horrible death...

#333

⇓

Horrible death... Horrible death. 'OK, you can fix this.'

#334

⇓

Horrible death... Horrible death. 'OK, you can fix this.'

#335

⇓

Carla, I messed up and I'm so sorry.

#336

⇓

Carla, I messed up and I'm so sorry.

#337

⇓

-Bambi! We're good, OK? We're pals! -Thank you.

#338

⇓

-Bambi! We're good, OK? We're pals! -Thank you.

#339

⇓

-So, you think it's funny to switch people's shifts, huh? -Bye, pal.

#340

⇓

-So, you think it's funny to switch people's shifts, huh? -Bye, pal.

#341

⇓

-I missed my baby's first steps.

#342

⇓

-I missed my baby's first steps.

#343

⇓

-I'm so sorry. Does this mean you're married?

#344

⇓

(SIGHS)

#345

⇓

(SIGHS)

#346

⇓

-Dr Kelso, can I bother you? -Based on history, yes.

#347

⇓

-Dr Kelso, can I bother you? -Based on history, yes.

#348

⇓

-I know Dr Wen recommended Bonnie. -I chose you because we're going to be moving around,

#349

⇓

-I know Dr Wen recommended Bonnie. -I chose you because we're going to be moving around,

#350

⇓

-I know Dr Wen recommended Bonnie. -I chose you because we're going to be moving around,

#351

⇓

and I can't be pulling over every two minutes for pee stops and those nylons that come in plastic eggs!

#352

⇓

and I can't be pulling over every two minutes for pee stops and those nylons that come in plastic eggs!

#353

⇓

-Don't you think that's a little sexist? -I don't know, sport.

#354

⇓

-Don't you think that's a little sexist? -I don't know, sport.

#355

⇓

Is it sexist to hold the door for a woman?

#356

⇓

Is it sexist to hold the door for a woman?

#357

⇓

Is it sexist to keep the pretty nurses and unload a few uggos?

#358

⇓

Is it sexist to keep the pretty nurses and unload a few uggos?

#359

⇓

The rules have changed so much, I just can't keep up. Tell you what -

#360

⇓

The rules have changed so much, I just can't keep up. Tell you what -

#361

⇓

let's stop jiggling each other's marbles. You decide who should go.

#362

⇓

let's stop jiggling each other's marbles. You decide who should go.

#363

⇓

That way, when you choose yourself,

#364

⇓

I won't have to deal with all this horrible guilt.

#365

⇓

I won't have to deal with all this horrible guilt.

#366

⇓

-Dr Cox! -Aw, jeez, Edith!

#367

⇓

-Dr Cox! -Aw, jeez, Edith!

#368

⇓

-Hi!

#369

⇓

This chair won't pull out. -Oh!

#370

⇓

This chair won't pull out. -Oh!

#371

⇓

Maybe that's because my ankles are wrapped around it.

#372

⇓

Maybe that's because my ankles are wrapped around it.

#373

⇓

Look, I actually need some me-time.

#374

⇓

-Oh. -Yeah. -OK.

#375

⇓

-Oh. -Yeah. -OK.

#376

⇓

I wanted to say - if you have any other bad-news situations, I would gladly handle them for you. -Really?

#377

⇓

I wanted to say - if you have any other bad-news situations, I would gladly handle them for you. -Really?

#378

⇓

I wanted to say - if you have any other bad-news situations, I would gladly handle them for you. -Really?

#379

⇓

-Gladly.

#380

⇓

-Gladly.

#381

⇓

-Well, welcome aboard.

#382

⇓

-Why'd you get turkey when there's egg salad? -There's no egg salad today.

#383

⇓

-Why'd you get turkey when there's egg salad? -There's no egg salad today.

#384

⇓

-Missed a spot. Mm-hmm.

#385

⇓

-Missed a spot. Mm-hmm.

#386

⇓

-So, we're even, right? -Even?

#387

⇓

-So, we're even, right? -Even?

#388

⇓

I told a nurse you switched her shifts - you babbled my crazy

#389

⇓

I told a nurse you switched her shifts - you babbled my crazy

#390

⇓

to the person I plan on spending the rest of my life with!

#391

⇓

to the person I plan on spending the rest of my life with!

#392

⇓

-I could've spent my life with Lauren! At least with her tushie.

#393

⇓

-I could've spent my life with Lauren! At least with her tushie.

#394

⇓

I just want to wash it. Is thatweird? -Think this is funny? -Come on!

#395

⇓

I just want to wash it. Is thatweird? -Think this is funny? -Come on!

#396

⇓

-I told you how hard it is for me to let my guard down. And that quick, you burn me.

#397

⇓

-I told you how hard it is for me to let my guard down. And that quick, you burn me.

#398

⇓

Never again! -Well, don't walk away!

#399

⇓

Never again! -Well, don't walk away!

#400

⇓

Carla, come on!

#401

⇓

Carla, come on!

#402

⇓

-Bonnie,...

#403

⇓

-Bonnie,...

#404

⇓

..I found out Dr Wen recommended you for that trip to Mexico.

#405

⇓

..I found out Dr Wen recommended you for that trip to Mexico.

#406

⇓

I'm sure you know how hard it is for me to stand here and admit that

#407

⇓

I'm sure you know how hard it is for me to stand here and admit that

#408

⇓

so I was hoping we can use this as an opportunity to repair our relationship.

#409

⇓

so I was hoping we can use this as an opportunity to repair our relationship.

#410

⇓

What do you say?

#411

⇓

What do you say?

#412

⇓

-Blaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh! -Oh, my God!

#413

⇓

-Blaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh! -Oh, my God!

#414

⇓

OK, fine! You go to Mexico, OK? And by the way, "dolor en el asno"

#415

⇓

OK, fine! You go to Mexico, OK? And by the way, "dolor en el asno"

#416

⇓

means pain in the ass. I thought it would help you when you introduce yourself.

#417

⇓

means pain in the ass. I thought it would help you when you introduce yourself.

#418

⇓

-I don't want your charity! You go.

#419

⇓

-I don't want your charity! You go.

#420

⇓

And every second you're down there,

#421

⇓

And every second you're down there,

#422

⇓

I want you to think about how I kick your ass up and down these halls

#423

⇓

I want you to think about how I kick your ass up and down these halls

#424

⇓

all day long. Now,... where was I?

#425

⇓

all day long. Now,... where was I?

#426

⇓

-Blah.

#427

⇓

-Oh, yeah!

#428

⇓

-Oh, yeah!

#429

⇓

-There you go, prom queen. There's some really tragic stuff in there,

#430

⇓

-There you go, prom queen. There's some really tragic stuff in there,

#431

⇓

so, you know, go nuts!

#432

⇓

-All of these are your patients? -No,...

#433

⇓

-All of these are your patients? -No,...

#434

⇓

..but when word got out about your offer, the other docs wanted in.

#435

⇓

..but when word got out about your offer, the other docs wanted in.

#436

⇓

-Oh, great! More for me!

#437

⇓

-Oh, great! More for me!

#438

⇓

I'm afraid you have hepatitis.

#439

⇓

I'm afraid you have hepatitis.

#440

⇓

Meningitis?

#441

⇓

Oesophageal gastro-duodenal colitis.

#442

⇓

Yes, it's like being blind in one eye,...

#443

⇓

Yes, it's like being blind in one eye,...

#444

⇓

..except you'll be blind in both.

#445

⇓

..except you'll be blind in both.

#446

⇓

I'm really sorry. Erm,...

#447

⇓

..there's nothing more that we can do.

#448

⇓

(PHONE RINGS) -Hello?

#449

⇓

We can hear you! Hello?

#450

⇓

We can hear you! Hello?

#451

⇓

-Why won't it stop ringing?! -Hello!

#452

⇓

-Why won't it stop ringing?! -Hello!

#453

⇓

For the love of God, hello!

#454

⇓

-Alright, look, I never meant to insinuate you guys were stupid.

#455

⇓

-Alright, look, I never meant to insinuate you guys were stupid.

#456

⇓

Everyone knows you're a hundred times smarter than the jackasses that run this place.

#457

⇓

Everyone knows you're a hundred times smarter than the jackasses that run this place.

#458

⇓

Everyone knows you're a hundred times smarter than the jackasses that run this place.

#459

⇓

-Is that so, sport? -No, sir. It's not so.

#460

⇓

-Is that so, sport? -No, sir. It's not so.

#461

⇓

Oof! Would you just go ahead and answer it, already? Hello?

#462

⇓

Oof! Would you just go ahead and answer it, already? Hello?

#463

⇓

-Hello!

#464

⇓

-Hey, take that, smart guy!

#465

⇓

-Hey, take that, smart guy!

#466

⇓

-Troy, that's not how we do it.

#467

⇓

-Troy, that's not how we do it.

#468

⇓

What the hell? -What would you do if your five year old begged you to have a bite of his dinner?

#469

⇓

What the hell? -What would you do if your five year old begged you to have a bite of his dinner?

#470

⇓

What the hell? -What would you do if your five year old begged you to have a bite of his dinner?

#471

⇓

-You had two dozen ribs! -I know. I don't even have a kid.

#472

⇓

-I've had enough. This is ridiculous. -Will you lay off? He made a mistake.

#473

⇓

-I've had enough. This is ridiculous. -Will you lay off? He made a mistake.

#474

⇓

People make mistakes. When they do, it wouldn't hurt to cut them some slack. -Thanks, man!

#475

⇓

People make mistakes. When they do, it wouldn't hurt to cut them some slack. -Thanks, man!

#476

⇓

-Quiet. This isn't about you. Don't eat meat! Carla!

#477

⇓

-Quiet. This isn't about you. Don't eat meat! Carla!

#478

⇓

Every time you've screwed up with me, I've let you off the hook. -When have I ever screwed up with you?

#479

⇓

Every time you've screwed up with me, I've let you off the hook. -When have I ever screwed up with you?

#480

⇓

-OK, never. But we both know that if you ever did, I'd give you a break.

#481

⇓

-OK, never. But we both know that if you ever did, I'd give you a break.

#482

⇓

Now, see how you like it when I walk away from you.

#483

⇓

Now, see how you like it when I walk away from you.

#484

⇓

Actually, I need to go -this -way.

#485

⇓

Right the first time.

#486

⇓

-Awesome! -Awww! You're gonna love this one(!)

#487

⇓

-Awesome! -Awww! You're gonna love this one(!)

#488

⇓

25-year-old woman. Dancer, actually. Well, not any more. I'm afraid we have to take both of her legs -

#489

⇓

25-year-old woman. Dancer, actually. Well, not any more. I'm afraid we have to take both of her legs -

#490

⇓

bilateral gangrene - and seeing as her husband recently passed away,

#491

⇓

bilateral gangrene - and seeing as her husband recently passed away,

#492

⇓

and her insurance at the union probably is not gonna cover it,

#493

⇓

and her insurance at the union probably is not gonna cover it,

#494

⇓

you should tell her she won't be able to stay here for her rehab.

#495

⇓

you should tell her she won't be able to stay here for her rehab.

#496

⇓

-What... room is she in? -There is no room.

#497

⇓

-What... room is she in? -There is no room.

#498

⇓

In fact, in the history of medicine, there's never been a patient that depressing. I made her up!

#499

⇓

In fact, in the history of medicine, there's never been a patient that depressing. I made her up!

#500

⇓

In fact, in the history of medicine, there's never been a patient that depressing. I made her up!

#501

⇓

Come on, now! Keep going down this road, you're gonna go up to the roof of this hospital and jump off.

#502

⇓

Come on, now! Keep going down this road, you're gonna go up to the roof of this hospital and jump off.

#503

⇓

Come on, now! Keep going down this road, you're gonna go up to the roof of this hospital and jump off.

#504

⇓

Mind you, it's only five storeys, so you'll wind up back here,

#505

⇓

where I will be the one who has to treat you, and then I'll be forced to jump off the roof,

#506

⇓

where I will be the one who has to treat you, and then I'll be forced to jump off the roof,

#507

⇓

which is only five storeys high, and are you starting to see a pattern?

#508

⇓

which is only five storeys high, and are you starting to see a pattern?

#509

⇓

-I just wanted to be colleagues. -Barbie,...

#510

⇓

-I just wanted to be colleagues. -Barbie,...

#511

⇓

..as long as you stay at this hospital, I'm always gonna be your superior. That's the way it goes.

#512

⇓

..as long as you stay at this hospital, I'm always gonna be your superior. That's the way it goes.

#513

⇓

Don't get me wrong, you can keep trying to connect with me. I mean,

#514

⇓

Don't get me wrong, you can keep trying to connect with me. I mean,

#515

⇓

hell, you're so damn entertaining you just might make some headway.

#516

⇓

hell, you're so damn entertaining you just might make some headway.

#517

⇓

But still, you might be better served, and this is a crazy notion,

#518

⇓

But still, you might be better served, and this is a crazy notion,

#519

⇓

if you could stop worrying so much about who does and doesn't notice you.

#520

⇓

if you could stop worrying so much about who does and doesn't notice you.

#521

⇓

Even for a second - that'd be good.

#522

⇓

Even for a second - that'd be good.

#523

⇓

That'd be real good.

#524

⇓

That'd be real good.

#525

⇓

'I think every day -is made up of tiny little tests.'

#526

⇓

'I think every day -is made up of tiny little tests.'

#527

⇓

'Some are tests of character.'

#528

⇓

'Some are tests of character.'

#529

⇓

(HORN BEEPS)

#530

⇓

(HORN BEEPS)

#531

⇓

'Some are tests of fortitude.'

#532

⇓

'Others are tests of friendship.'

#533

⇓

'Others are tests of friendship.'

#534

⇓

-I spoke to my brother today. -Really?

#535

⇓

-I spoke to my brother today. -Really?

#536

⇓

-Um-hmm. He's having some problems.

#537

⇓

-Um-hmm. He's having some problems.

#538

⇓

'And if you're lucky, -when it really matters,

#539

⇓

'And if you're lucky, -when it really matters,

#540

⇓

you'll pass with flying colours.'

#541

⇓

Hola, K-dog!

#542

⇓

Hola, K-dog!

#543

⇓

Yeah, full bar!

#544

⇓

Take us to Mexico!

#545

⇓

-Edited by Access Innovation Media www.ai-media.tv

#546

⇓

-Edited by Access Innovation Media www.ai-media.tv

#547

⇓

Season 2, Episode 4 — My Big Mouth

Combined Images