Home » Scrubs » S04E21 — My Lips Are Sealed

Scrubs

Season 4, Episode 21 — My Lips Are Sealed

(COLDPLAY'S CLOCKS PLAYING)

#1

⇓

J.D.: IN MY 4 YEARS, THERE HAVE BEEN

#2

⇓

MANY EMERGENCIES AT SACRED HEART,

#3

⇓

MANY EMERGENCIES AT SACRED HEART,

#4

⇓

BUT NONE LIKE THIS ONE BECAUSE TODAY...

#5

⇓

WHERE IS HE?

#6

⇓

WHERE IS HE?

#7

⇓

DR. COX'S SON NEEDED TWO STITCHES.

#8

⇓

DR. COX, I GOT HERE AS SOON AS I--

#9

⇓

DR. COX, I GOT HERE AS SOON AS I--

#10

⇓

SHUT IT, NEWBIE.

#11

⇓

YOUR BLACKER HALF IS TRYING TO CONCENTRATE.

#12

⇓

YOUR BLACKER HALF IS TRYING TO CONCENTRATE.

#13

⇓

HOW ARE YOU HOLDING UP?

#14

⇓

I'M A LITTLE NERVOUS.

#15

⇓

I'M A LITTLE NERVOUS.

#16

⇓

WELL, NOW YOU MAKE ME ALL NERVOUS.

#17

⇓

FOCUS...

#18

⇓

BECAUSE THAT TINY PATCH OF SKIN ON MY SON'S FOREHEAD

#19

⇓

BECAUSE THAT TINY PATCH OF SKIN ON MY SON'S FOREHEAD

#20

⇓

IS MORE IMPORTANT TO ME THAN THEN ENTIRETY

#21

⇓

IS MORE IMPORTANT TO ME THAN THEN ENTIRETY

#22

⇓

OF YOUR WHOLE HIGH-FIVING, HEAD-SHAVING, AIR-BALLING,

#23

⇓

MOLE-LIPPING, INSULIN-NEEDING EXISTENCE,

#24

⇓

MOLE-LIPPING, INSULIN-NEEDING EXISTENCE,

#25

⇓

WHICH I GUARANTEE WILL COME TO AN ABRUPT,

#26

⇓

VERY UNNATURAL END.

#27

⇓

OK, I'M DONE.

#28

⇓

J.D.: WE ALL HELD OUR BREATH TOGETHER.

#29

⇓

THE SURGEON LIVES! AAH!

#30

⇓

THE TODD FORGOT TO BREATHE AGAIN.

#31

⇓

THE TODD FORGOT TO BREATHE AGAIN.

#32

⇓

STARTING C.P.R...

#33

⇓

STARTING C.P.R...

#34

⇓

MR. GERST, WHAT SEEMS TO BE THE PROBLEM?

#35

⇓

MR. GERST, WHAT SEEMS TO BE THE PROBLEM?

#36

⇓

I TOOK SOME PILLS.

#37

⇓

COME ON, HELP ME OUT HERE.

#38

⇓

WERE THEY HAPPY PILLS, SAD PILLS, SLEEPING PILLS,

#39

⇓

WERE THEY HAPPY PILLS, SAD PILLS, SLEEPING PILLS,

#40

⇓

WAKE-UP PILLS, SANE PILLS, PAIN PILLS, BRAIN PILLS, SPAIN PILLS...

#41

⇓

MAN PILLS. THE COMMERCIAL SAYS

#42

⇓

MAN PILLS. THE COMMERCIAL SAYS

#43

⇓

I SHOULD CONSULT A PHYSICIAN

#44

⇓

IF THE CONDITION PERSISTS FOR MORE THAN 4 HOURS.

#45

⇓

IF THE CONDITION PERSISTS FOR MORE THAN 4 HOURS.

#46

⇓

IF WHAT PERSISTS?

#47

⇓

OH, UM...

#48

⇓

OH, UM...

#49

⇓

LET'S JUST SAY YOU TOOK UPPERS.

#50

⇓

TURK: HEY, DUDE, CHECK OUT WHAT I FOUND

#51

⇓

WHEN I WAS TAKING OUT THE TRASH!

#52

⇓

WHEN I WAS TAKING OUT THE TRASH!

#53

⇓

THAT IS THE MOST RIDICULOUS HAT I HAVE EVER SEEN.

#54

⇓

THAT IS THE MOST RIDICULOUS HAT I HAVE EVER SEEN.

#55

⇓

(THINKING) AND I MUST HAVE IT.

#56

⇓

AREN'T YOU GONNA BE LATE TO MEET CARLA?

#57

⇓

AREN'T YOU GONNA BE LATE TO MEET CARLA?

#58

⇓

I'VE GOT TIME.

#59

⇓

J.D.: TURK AND CARLA WERE HAVING RELATIONSHIP TROUBLE,

#60

⇓

J.D.: TURK AND CARLA WERE HAVING RELATIONSHIP TROUBLE,

#61

⇓

SO SHE'D BEEN STAYING AT ELLIOT'S FOR A FEW DAYS.

#62

⇓

YOU WERE LATE THE LAST TIME.

#63

⇓

YOU WERE LATE THE LAST TIME.

#64

⇓

YEAH, BUT I SET THE CLOCK AHEAD AN HOUR LAST NIGHT

#65

⇓

SO I WOULDN'T BE LATE.

#66

⇓

YEAH, BUT LAST WEEK I SET IT BACK 3 HOURS

#67

⇓

YEAH, BUT LAST WEEK I SET IT BACK 3 HOURS

#68

⇓

SO WE COULD SEE WHAT IT FELT LIKE TO LIVE IN HONOLULU.

#69

⇓

YEAH, BUT THEN I SET THE CLOCK AHEAD 5 HOURS

#70

⇓

YEAH, BUT THEN I SET THE CLOCK AHEAD 5 HOURS

#71

⇓

SO I WOULDN'T FEEL LIKE A SKEEVE

#72

⇓

FOR WATCHING PORN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY.

#73

⇓

BUT THEN I SET IT BACK 43 MINUTES TO 8:08,

#74

⇓

BUT THEN I SET IT BACK 43 MINUTES TO 8:08,

#75

⇓

TURNED THE CLOCK UPSIDE DOWN TO SEE IF IT LOOKED LIKE THE WORD "BOB,"

#76

⇓

WHICH, INCIDENTALLY, IT TOTALLY DOES...

#77

⇓

WHICH, INCIDENTALLY, IT TOTALLY DOES...

#78

⇓

THAT'S TRUE.

#79

⇓

WHICH MEANS THAT IT'S ACTUALLY...

#80

⇓

9:52! 9:52!

#81

⇓

OH, MY GOD, DUDE!

#82

⇓

I GOTTA BE DOWNTOWN IN LIKE 8 MINUTES!

#83

⇓

I GOTTA BE DOWNTOWN IN LIKE 8 MINUTES!

#84

⇓

DUDE, WE'RE NEVER GONNA MAKE IT IN TIME!

#85

⇓

TAKE A SHORTCUT THROUGH THAT HEDGE!

#86

⇓

YOU GOT IT, PLAYER!

#87

⇓

YOU GOT IT, PLAYER!

#88

⇓

WAAAH!

#89

⇓

WAAAH!

#90

⇓

THAT WAS A THICK BUSH.

#91

⇓

THAT WAS A THICK BUSH.

#92

⇓

OH, REALLY, TURK, WAS IT A THICK BUSH?

#93

⇓

BECAUSE THERE'S BERRIES IN MY ASS. JUST GO!

#94

⇓

BECAUSE THERE'S BERRIES IN MY ASS. JUST GO!

#95

⇓

OH, SORRY. MY BAD, DUDE. MY BAD. OH!

#96

⇓

(CLINK)

#97

⇓

(CLINK)

#98

⇓

OH HO HO HO...

#99

⇓

AAH!

#100

⇓

DON'T WORRY, TURK, I GOT 'EM!

#101

⇓

STRIKE.

#102

⇓

TURK, WHY ARE YOU WEARING PAJAMAS?

#103

⇓

TURK, WHY ARE YOU WEARING PAJAMAS?

#104

⇓

UH, I REALLY WANT YOU TO COME HOME,

#105

⇓

AND ON THE OFF CHANCE YOU SAID YES,

#106

⇓

AND ON THE OFF CHANCE YOU SAID YES,

#107

⇓

I'D BE READY TO SNUGGLE,

#108

⇓

AND THAT WOULD HOPEFULLY LEAD TO--

#109

⇓

AND THAT WOULD HOPEFULLY LEAD TO--

#110

⇓

BUT NECESSARILY REQUIRE--

#111

⇓

RELATIONS OF THE INTIMATE NATURE.

#112

⇓

RELATIONS OF THE INTIMATE NATURE.

#113

⇓

TURK, WITH EVERYTHING THAT'S HAPPENED,

#114

⇓

I'M JUST HAVING TROUBLE TRUSTING YOU.

#115

⇓

I'M JUST HAVING TROUBLE TRUSTING YOU.

#116

⇓

BABY, IF THERE'S ANYONE IN THIS WORLD

#117

⇓

THAT YOU CAN TRUST, IT'S ME.

#118

⇓

THAT YOU CAN TRUST, IT'S ME.

#119

⇓

TURK, YOU'RE THE ONE I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN TRUST,

#120

⇓

SO I HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO TRUST

#121

⇓

SO I HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO TRUST

#122

⇓

THAT I CAN TRUST YOU TELLING ME

#123

⇓

THAT I CAN TRUST YOU?

#124

⇓

THAT I CAN TRUST YOU?

#125

⇓

MY HEAD HURTS.

#126

⇓

I WISH I KNEW HOW IT WAS GOING.

#127

⇓

I WISH I KNEW HOW IT WAS GOING.

#128

⇓

SORRY ABOUT YOUR HOGS, FELLAS.

#129

⇓

SORRY ABOUT YOUR HOGS, FELLAS.

#130

⇓

ENJOY THE FREE ESPRESSOS.

#131

⇓

(GULPING)

#132

⇓

WARLORD, I TOLD YOU TO SIP IT.

#133

⇓

UH, IT...

#134

⇓

USE YOUR WORDS.

#135

⇓

WARLORD BURN MOUTH.

#136

⇓

WARLORD BURN MOUTH.

#137

⇓

YEAH, HE DID BECAUSE HE WASN'T LISTENING.

#138

⇓

NAPKIN ON YOUR LAP, SATAN'S VALET. THANK YOU.

#139

⇓

NAPKIN ON YOUR LAP, SATAN'S VALET. THANK YOU.

#140

⇓

# I CAN'T DO THIS ALL ON MY OWN #

#141

⇓

# I CAN'T DO THIS ALL ON MY OWN #

#142

⇓

# NO, I KNOW #

#143

⇓

# I'M NO SUPERMAN #

#144

⇓

# I'M NO SUPERMAN #

#145

⇓

# I'M NO SUPERMAN #

#146

⇓

(FLASH BULB POPS)

#147

⇓

HEY, WHAT--WHAT ARE YOU DOING, FRANKENSTEIN?

#148

⇓

HEY, WHAT--WHAT ARE YOU DOING, FRANKENSTEIN?

#149

⇓

PHOTO JOURNAL FOR MY PHOTOGRAPHY CLASS.

#150

⇓

PHOTO JOURNAL FOR MY PHOTOGRAPHY CLASS.

#151

⇓

TERRIFIC. COULD I SEE YOUR CAMERA?

#152

⇓

HMM. VERY INTERESTING.

#153

⇓

HMM. VERY INTERESTING.

#154

⇓

OH, THERE'S FILM IN IT.

#155

⇓

HEY!

#156

⇓

ALL MY PICTURES WERE IN THERE!

#157

⇓

"DEAD PATIENT WITH FANCY SHIRT,"

#158

⇓

"DEAD PATIENT WITH FANCY SHIRT,"

#159

⇓

WITHOUT FANCY SHIRT,"

#160

⇓

"ME IN FANCY SHIRT BEING YELLED AT BY ANGRY FAMILY."

#161

⇓

"ME IN FANCY SHIRT BEING YELLED AT BY ANGRY FAMILY."

#162

⇓

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA OF WHAT EVENTS WOULD UNFOLD

#163

⇓

IF JORDAN WERE TO ACTUALLY SEE THAT PICTURE?

#164

⇓

IF JORDAN WERE TO ACTUALLY SEE THAT PICTURE?

#165

⇓

IT IS A HEART-WRENCHING TALE OF WOE

#166

⇓

INVOLVING JORDAN'S SECOND COUSIN

#167

⇓

INVOLVING JORDAN'S SECOND COUSIN

#168

⇓

WHO PLAYS FOR THE NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS

#169

⇓

AND ME HAVING A SUPER BOWL RING REMOVED

#170

⇓

AND ME HAVING A SUPER BOWL RING REMOVED

#171

⇓

FROM MY ESOPHAGUS.

#172

⇓

NO, JORDAN'S NEVER GOING TO SEE THESE STITCHES.

#173

⇓

NO, JORDAN'S NEVER GOING TO SEE THESE STITCHES.

#174

⇓

WELL, I HOPE YOU REALIZE THIS MEANS WAR.

#175

⇓

AH, BUZZ OFF, YOU BIG MONKEY.

#176

⇓

AH, BUZZ OFF, YOU BIG MONKEY.

#177

⇓

POOR MR. GERST.

#178

⇓

I WONDER WHAT THAT'S LIKE

#179

⇓

TO HAVE AN ERECTION FOR 9 HOURS.

#180

⇓

TO HAVE AN ERECTION FOR 9 HOURS.

#181

⇓

ASK ME IN 20 MINUTES.

#182

⇓

OH, GET THIS. HE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION.

#183

⇓

OH, GET THIS. HE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION.

#184

⇓

I MEAN, WHY WOULD YOU TAKE THOSE DRUGS IF YOU DIDN'T NEED THEM?

#185

⇓

WHAT'S THIS?

#186

⇓

WHAT'S THIS?

#187

⇓

WHY, IT'S A DUMMYGRAM,

#188

⇓

AND IT'S ADDRESSED TO YOU, BARBIE.

#189

⇓

AND IT'S ADDRESSED TO YOU, BARBIE.

#190

⇓

LET'S READ IT AND FIND OUT WHAT'S IN THERE.

#191

⇓

YOU ARE DISTURBINGLY NAIVE.

#192

⇓

STOP!

#193

⇓

STOP!

#194

⇓

ALMOST 50% OF E.D. DRUGS

#195

⇓

ARE TAKEN BY RECREATIONAL USERS.

#196

⇓

ARE TAKEN BY RECREATIONAL USERS.

#197

⇓

STOP!

#198

⇓

THAT CAN'T BE TRUE.

#199

⇓

(WHISTLING)

#200

⇓

(WHISTLING)

#201

⇓

EVERYONE, WOULD YOU GO AHEAD

#202

⇓

AND CLOSE YOUR EYES FOR A SECOND?

#203

⇓

GREAT. NOW, WOULD ALL THE MEN IN THE ROOM

#204

⇓

GREAT. NOW, WOULD ALL THE MEN IN THE ROOM

#205

⇓

WHO HAVE TRIED MR. HAPPY PILLS,

#206

⇓

WHO HAVE TRIED MR. HAPPY PILLS,

#207

⇓

GO AHEAD AND GRAB YOUR FORK AND BANG YOUR GLASS.

#208

⇓

(LOUD CLINKING)

#209

⇓

(LOUD CLINKING)

#210

⇓

# THANK YOU #

#211

⇓

# THANK YOU #

#212

⇓

(CLINKING)

#213

⇓

TED, EVERYONE STOPPED!

#214

⇓

TED, EVERYONE STOPPED!

#215

⇓

OH, DAMN IT!

#216

⇓

OH, DAMN IT!

#217

⇓

DUDE, SHE'S GOT THIS WHOLE TRUST ISSUE WITH ME.

#218

⇓

DUDE, SHE'S GOT THIS WHOLE TRUST ISSUE WITH ME.

#219

⇓

JUST TELL HER SHE CAN TRUST YOU.

#220

⇓

I DID, BUT APPARENTLY, IF I'M THE ONE

#221

⇓

SHE DIDN'T KNOW SHE COULD TRUST,

#222

⇓

SHE DIDN'T KNOW SHE COULD TRUST,

#223

⇓

HOW IS SHE SUPPOSED TO TRUST SHE CAN TRUST ME

#224

⇓

TELLING HER SHE CAN TRUST ME?

#225

⇓

MY HEAD HURTS.

#226

⇓

MY HEAD HURTS.

#227

⇓

YEAH, MINE DID, TOO.

#228

⇓

THAT'S WHY I NEED YOU TO GO IN.

#229

⇓

NO WAY, DUDE. IT'S NEVER SMART

#230

⇓

NO WAY, DUDE. IT'S NEVER SMART

#231

⇓

TO GET IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMEONE ELSE'S RELATIONSHIP.

#232

⇓

I'LL LET YOU WEAR MY TOP HAT.

#233

⇓

I'LL LET YOU WEAR MY TOP HAT.

#234

⇓

HEY! WANT TO GRAB A BEER?

#235

⇓

IF YOU LOSE THE HAT.

#236

⇓

IF YOU LOSE THE HAT.

#237

⇓

HI. HELLO THERE.

#238

⇓

HI. HELLO THERE.

#239

⇓

WHAT'S WITH ALL THE BAND-AIDS?

#240

⇓

OH, JACK WAS JUST GETTING NUTTY, HAVING SOME FUN.

#241

⇓

OH, JACK WAS JUST GETTING NUTTY, HAVING SOME FUN.

#242

⇓

SEE, I EVEN LET HIM PUT ONE ON ME.

#243

⇓

SEE, I EVEN LET HIM PUT ONE ON ME.

#244

⇓

REALLY? YEAH.

#245

⇓

ARE THOSE STITCHES?

#246

⇓

WHAT ARE THE ODDS YOU'D PICK THAT ONE?

#247

⇓

WHAT ARE THE ODDS YOU'D PICK THAT ONE?

#248

⇓

JACK JUST--HE JUST FELL OFF OF THE JUNGLE GYM.

#249

⇓

YOU'RE NOT CAREFUL ENOUGH WITH HIM!

#250

⇓

YOU'RE NOT CAREFUL ENOUGH WITH HIM!

#251

⇓

WHAT ABOUT THE TIME YOU HAD HIM

#252

⇓

AND HE BRAINED HIMSELF ON THE COFFEE TABLE?

#253

⇓

THAT WAS AN ACCIDENT.

#254

⇓

THAT WAS AN ACCIDENT.

#255

⇓

JUST A QUICK QUESTION.

#256

⇓

WHY IS IT AN ACCIDENT WHEN HE'S WITH YOU,

#257

⇓

BUT WHEN JACK GETS HURT ON MY TIME,

#258

⇓

BUT WHEN JACK GETS HURT ON MY TIME,

#259

⇓

IT'S BECAUSE I'M NOT CAREFUL ENOUGH?

#260

⇓

BECAUSE I--

#261

⇓

BECAUSE I--

#262

⇓

OH, DEAR GOD...

#263

⇓

OH, DEAR GOD...

#264

⇓

YOU'RE SPEECHLESS.

#265

⇓

(LAUGHING) I WON!

#266

⇓

(LAUGHING) I WON!

#267

⇓

I WON AN ARGUMENT.

#268

⇓

JACK, IT'S UNPRECEDENTED.

#269

⇓

WE'LL BE AT THE PLAYGROUND DRINKING BEER.

#270

⇓

WE'LL BE AT THE PLAYGROUND DRINKING BEER.

#271

⇓

OH, GOD, WE LOVE BEER!

#272

⇓

BUT--

#273

⇓

BUT--

#274

⇓

THAT GUY NEEDS TO DO SOME SERIOUS THINKING ABOUT BASEBALL.

#275

⇓

HE WOULDN'T EVEN LET ME SEE IT.

#276

⇓

HE WOULDN'T EVEN LET ME SEE IT.

#277

⇓

HEY, MEATHEAD.

#278

⇓

OH, GOOD, YOU BOTH LOOKED.

#279

⇓

OH, GOOD, YOU BOTH LOOKED.

#280

⇓

NOW, MR. GERST CAME HERE FOR HELP,

#281

⇓

AND WE'RE DOCTORS, SO HOW ABOUT WE TRY

#282

⇓

AND WE'RE DOCTORS, SO HOW ABOUT WE TRY

#283

⇓

AND TREAT HIM WITH AT LEAST A LITTLE BIT

#284

⇓

OF DIGNITY AND RESPECT, OK?

#285

⇓

(LAUGHING)

#286

⇓

(LAUGHING)

#287

⇓

THAT MAN IS A HUMAN SUNDIAL.

#288

⇓

(JUKEBOX PLAYING HOOK BY BLUES TRAVELER)

#289

⇓

(JUKEBOX PLAYING HOOK BY BLUES TRAVELER)

#290

⇓

OH, IT'S SO NICE TO GET OUT.

#291

⇓

OH, IT'S SO NICE TO GET OUT.

#292

⇓

OH, HEY, DO YOU KNOW WHO SINGS THE SONG?

#293

⇓

NO, BUT I CAN TELL YOU WHO DOESN'T SING IT--

#294

⇓

BILLY JOEL, WHO BROUGHT US SUCH HITS

#295

⇓

BILLY JOEL, WHO BROUGHT US SUCH HITS

#296

⇓

AS UPTOWN GIRL AND MATTER OF TRUST.

#297

⇓

AS UPTOWN GIRL AND MATTER OF TRUST.

#298

⇓

AND SPEAKING OF TRUST, DO YOU KNOW

#299

⇓

WHO'S REALLY TRUSTWORTHY? TURK.

#300

⇓

I CALL HIM TURKEY-TURKEY-TURKEY- TURKEY-TRUST-TRUST.

#301

⇓

I CALL HIM TURKEY-TURKEY-TURKEY- TURKEY-TRUST-TRUST.

#302

⇓

A LITTLE NICKNAME.

#303

⇓

J.D., I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO DO AND IT'S VERY SWEET,

#304

⇓

J.D., I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO DO AND IT'S VERY SWEET,

#305

⇓

BUT THE LAST COUPLE OF DAYS HAVE BEEN

#306

⇓

BUT THE LAST COUPLE OF DAYS HAVE BEEN

#307

⇓

SO MESSED UP AND CONFUSING.

#308

⇓

I'D LOVE TO JUST TRY AND FORGET ABOUT IT

#309

⇓

AND HAVE A FEW DRINKS, OK?

#310

⇓

AND HAVE A FEW DRINKS, OK?

#311

⇓

BUT I TOLD TURK I'D TALK ABOUT HIM CONSTANTLY UNTIL YOU MADE ME LEAVE.

#312

⇓

BUT I TOLD TURK I'D TALK ABOUT HIM CONSTANTLY UNTIL YOU MADE ME LEAVE.

#313

⇓

I'LL LET YOU PUT THE HAT BACK ON.

#314

⇓

TWO APPLETINIS, GOVERNOR.

#315

⇓

TWO APPLETINIS, GOVERNOR.

#316

⇓

LOOK AT MY GIRL.

#317

⇓

LOOK AT MY GIRL.

#318

⇓

RIGHT BACK UP ON THE MONKEY BARS

#319

⇓

EVEN AFTER SHE CHIPPED HER TOOTH THERE LAST WEEK.

#320

⇓

THAT'S NOTHING.

#321

⇓

THAT'S NOTHING.

#322

⇓

MY KID'S GOT A FOREHEAD FULL OF STITCHES

#323

⇓

FROM LEAPING OFF THE JUNGLE GYM.

#324

⇓

FROM LEAPING OFF THE JUNGLE GYM.

#325

⇓

WHEN MY WIFE'S NOT AROUND... YEAH?

#326

⇓

I LET MY DAUGHTER STAND ON MY SHOULDERS.

#327

⇓

I LET MY DAUGHTER STAND ON MY SHOULDERS.

#328

⇓

REALLY? WAIT TILL YOU GET A LOAD OF THIS.

#329

⇓

OK, HERE WE GO. WHAT ARE WE DOING?

#330

⇓

OK, HERE WE GO. WHAT ARE WE DOING?

#331

⇓

COME HERE, YOU. YOU COME HERE, YOU.

#332

⇓

(JANITOR MAKING CLICKING NOISE)

#333

⇓

(JANITOR MAKING CLICKING NOISE)

#334

⇓

GIANT MAN, WHY ARE YOU MAKING THAT NOISE?

#335

⇓

GIANT MAN, WHY ARE YOU MAKING THAT NOISE?

#336

⇓

OH. WELL, BECAUSE MY CAMERA DOESN'T MAKE

#337

⇓

A REAL SOUND, AND IT'S MORE FUN THAT WAY.

#338

⇓

A REAL SOUND, AND IT'S MORE FUN THAT WAY.

#339

⇓

SEE? YOU GO...

#340

⇓

(MAKES CLICKING SOUND)

#341

⇓

LOOK HAPPY.

#342

⇓

LOOK HAPPY.

#343

⇓

(CLICKS) LOOK SAD.

#344

⇓

(CLICKS) LOOK CRAZY.

#345

⇓

(CLICKS) LOOK CRAZY.

#346

⇓

(MAKING SILLY NOISE)

#347

⇓

LOOK LIKE YOU'RE GOING AWAY.

#348

⇓

(CLICKS)

#349

⇓

YOU'RE COMING IN BECAUSE YOU NEED

#350

⇓

TO SET AN EXAMPLE OF PROFESSIONALISM,

#351

⇓

AND YOU'RE CERTAINLY NOT GOING TO DO THAT

#352

⇓

BY MAKING FUN OF THAT MAN'S SLINKY-DOO.

#353

⇓

DON'T PULL ME!

#354

⇓

I'M YOUR BOSS, FOR GOD'S--

#355

⇓

I'M YOUR BOSS, FOR GOD'S--

#356

⇓

HELLO!

#357

⇓

WELL, MR. GERST,

#358

⇓

WELL, MR. GERST,

#359

⇓

YOUR SITUATION DOESN'T SEEM TO BE REVERSING ITSELF,

#360

⇓

SO I THINK WE'RE GONNA NEED

#361

⇓

TO SCHEDULE A PROCEDURE

#362

⇓

TO SCHEDULE A PROCEDURE

#363

⇓

TO RELIEVE THE, UH,

#364

⇓

UM...AHEM...UH...

#365

⇓

UM...AHEM...UH...

#366

⇓

WOODINESS.

#367

⇓

MY FIANCEE IS ONLY 24,

#368

⇓

MY FIANCEE IS ONLY 24,

#369

⇓

AND SHE SAID SHE WANTED TO DO SOMETHING SPECIAL THIS MORNING.

#370

⇓

TURNS OUT SHE JUST MEANT HAVING BREAKFAST WITH HER FAMILY.

#371

⇓

TURNS OUT SHE JUST MEANT HAVING BREAKFAST WITH HER FAMILY.

#372

⇓

(SQUEAKS)

#373

⇓

THOSE PILLS DIDN'T REALLY KICK IN UNTIL JUST ABOUT THE MOMENT

#374

⇓

THOSE PILLS DIDN'T REALLY KICK IN UNTIL JUST ABOUT THE MOMENT

#375

⇓

I'M INTRODUCED TO HER 90-YEAR-OLD GRANDMOTHER.

#376

⇓

(SQUEAKS)

#377

⇓

(SQUEAKS)

#378

⇓

AND SURE ENOUGH, THAT LITTLE LADY

#379

⇓

GIVES ME THE WAIST HUG FROM HER WHEELCHAIR.

#380

⇓

GIVES ME THE WAIST HUG FROM HER WHEELCHAIR.

#381

⇓

EXCUSE ME, I NEED THAT CHART.

#382

⇓

SWEETHEART, IT'S NOT HEALTHY TO HOLD IT IN.

#383

⇓

SWEETHEART, IT'S NOT HEALTHY TO HOLD IT IN.

#384

⇓

JUST LET IT OUT. YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO.

#385

⇓

I'M FINE.

#386

⇓

MR. GERST: I PULLED AWAY FROM THAT ENCOUNTER

#387

⇓

WITH ALL OF GRANDMA HELEN'S BREATHING APPARATUS.

#388

⇓

WITH ALL OF GRANDMA HELEN'S BREATHING APPARATUS.

#389

⇓

(CRACKS UP)

#390

⇓

MY WORK HERE IS DONE.

#391

⇓

OH, MY GOD, I CAN'T STOP! I'M SORRY. I HAVE TO PEE.

#392

⇓

OH, MY GOD, I CAN'T STOP! I'M SORRY. I HAVE TO PEE.

#393

⇓

OK, J.D., WHY ARE WE SITTING UP HERE?

#394

⇓

OK, J.D., WHY ARE WE SITTING UP HERE?

#395

⇓

BECAUSE YOU CAN SEE ELIOT'S WHOLE APARTMENT

#396

⇓

BECAUSE YOU CAN SEE ELIOT'S WHOLE APARTMENT

#397

⇓

FROM UP HERE.

#398

⇓

J.D., YOU'RE DRUNK.

#399

⇓

CARLA, I'M NOT AS THINK AS YOU DRUNK I AM.

#400

⇓

CARLA, I'M NOT AS THINK AS YOU DRUNK I AM.

#401

⇓

WAIT A MINUTE--

#402

⇓

THEN WHY CAN'T YOU LET GO OF THE COUCH?

#403

⇓

THEN WHY CAN'T YOU LET GO OF THE COUCH?

#404

⇓

I CAN'T LET GO OF THE COUCH IF I SO CHOOSE.

#405

⇓

OK, LET GO OF THE COUCH. LET IT GO.

#406

⇓

OK, LET GO OF THE COUCH. LET IT GO.

#407

⇓

WHOA! WHOOPS!

#408

⇓

SEE?!

#409

⇓

SEE?!

#410

⇓

WHOA!

#411

⇓

(BOTH LAUGHING)

#412

⇓

(BOTH LAUGHING)

#413

⇓

J.D.: THERE ARE MANY THINGS WE CAN'T CONTROL

#414

⇓

J.D.: THERE ARE MANY THINGS WE CAN'T CONTROL

#415

⇓

NO MATTER HOW STRONG WE MIGHT BE...

#416

⇓

LIKE A KNEE-JERK REACTION...

#417

⇓

I'M--I'M SO SORRY.

#418

⇓

I'M--I'M SO SORRY.

#419

⇓

AHEM. I'M DONE.

#420

⇓

AHEM. I'M DONE.

#421

⇓

I'M DONE. YES.

#422

⇓

IT'S OK.

#423

⇓

IT'S OK.

#424

⇓

(CRACKING UP)

#425

⇓

J.D.: OR A JANITOR WHO HAS IT IN FOR YOU.

#426

⇓

J.D.: OR A JANITOR WHO HAS IT IN FOR YOU.

#427

⇓

HI.

#428

⇓

LOOK WHAT SOMEONE WAS NICE ENOUGH TO GIVE ME.

#429

⇓

JANITOR.

#430

⇓

JANITOR.

#431

⇓

(BOTH CRACKING UP)

#432

⇓

(BOTH CRACKING UP)

#433

⇓

OH, THANK YOU

#434

⇓

FOR HELPING ME HAVE SOME FUN TONIGHT.

#435

⇓

FOR HELPING ME HAVE SOME FUN TONIGHT.

#436

⇓

YOU'RE WELCOME.

#437

⇓

J.D.: AND SOMETIMES YOU LET GO OF THE CONTROL YOU DO HAVE

#438

⇓

J.D.: AND SOMETIMES YOU LET GO OF THE CONTROL YOU DO HAVE

#439

⇓

IN A BRIEF MOMENT OF WEAKNESS.

#440

⇓

SORRY. DRUNKEN ACCIDENT.

#441

⇓

NOTHING HAPPENED. RIGHT.

#442

⇓

NOTHING HAPPENED. RIGHT.

#443

⇓

GOOD NIGHT. GOOD NIGHT.

#444

⇓

GOOD NIGHT. GOOD NIGHT.

#445

⇓

GOOD NIGHT. GOOD NIGHT.

#446

⇓

BUENAS NOCHES.

#447

⇓

BUENAS... NOSE THINGS.

#448

⇓

GOOD NIGHT.

#449

⇓

GOOD NIGHT.

#450

⇓

J.D.: LIKE SHE SAID, EVERYTHING'S FINE.

#451

⇓

J.D.: LIKE SHE SAID, EVERYTHING'S FINE.

#452

⇓

(DOOR CLOSES)

#453

⇓

J.D.: THERE'S NOTHING LIKE THE RAYS OF THE MORNING SUN

#454

⇓

J.D.: THERE'S NOTHING LIKE THE RAYS OF THE MORNING SUN

#455

⇓

KISSING YOU AWAKE AND GENTLY REMINDING YOU

#456

⇓

THAT YOU GOT DRUNK

#457

⇓

AND KISSED YOUR BEST FRIEND'S WIFE.

#458

⇓

AND KISSED YOUR BEST FRIEND'S WIFE.

#459

⇓

OH, MY GOD!

#460

⇓

OH, MY GOD!

#461

⇓

SO IT REALLY HAPPENED?

#462

⇓

YEAH, BUT IT WAS NOTHING! NOTHING!

#463

⇓

NO, THERE WASN'T EVEN ANY TONGUE!

#464

⇓

NO, THERE WASN'T EVEN ANY TONGUE!

#465

⇓

NO TONGUE! IT WAS JUST A FRIEND KISS.

#466

⇓

WERE YOUR LIPS PARTED AT ALL?

#467

⇓

NO, I PURSED THEM LIKE THIS.

#468

⇓

NO, I PURSED THEM LIKE THIS.

#469

⇓

I DON'T KNOW, J.D.,

#470

⇓

I REMEMBER MY ONE LIP BEING ON TOP OF YOUR UPPER LIP

#471

⇓

AND MY OTHER LIP BEING SOMEWHERE IN THE MIDDLE OF YOURS,

#472

⇓

AND MY OTHER LIP BEING SOMEWHERE IN THE MIDDLE OF YOURS,

#473

⇓

WHICH MEANS YOUR LIPS WERE APART

#474

⇓

AND I DON'T THINK THAT'S A FRIEND KISS!

#475

⇓

AND I DON'T THINK THAT'S A FRIEND KISS!

#476

⇓

YES, IT IS, IT'S A FRIEND KISS,

#477

⇓

AND WE WILL NEVER TALK ABOUT THIS TO ANYONE EVER!

#478

⇓

AND WE WILL NEVER TALK ABOUT THIS TO ANYONE EVER!

#479

⇓

ALL RIGHT.

#480

⇓

WHAT'S GOING ON?

#481

⇓

NOTHING.

#482

⇓

J.D. AND I KISSED. CARLA!

#483

⇓

J.D. AND I KISSED. CARLA!

#484

⇓

YOU KISSED? LIKE A FRIEND KISS?

#485

⇓

YES. NO!

#486

⇓

CARLA! YOU'RE KILLING ME!

#487

⇓

THIS NEVER LEAVES THE ROOM!

#488

⇓

THIS NEVER LEAVES THE ROOM!

#489

⇓

WHY DID YOU CLOSE MY WINDOW?

#490

⇓

OH, NO! SHE WROTE "J.D. AND CARLA KISSED" ON THE PAPER

#491

⇓

OH, NO! SHE WROTE "J.D. AND CARLA KISSED" ON THE PAPER

#492

⇓

AND SHE'S GONNA TELL TURK!

#493

⇓

NO, NO, STOP HER!

#494

⇓

NO, NO, STOP HER!

#495

⇓

DON'T WORRY, LADIES, I'VE CLOSED THE WINDOW.

#496

⇓

DON'T WORRY, LADIES, I'VE CLOSED THE WINDOW.

#497

⇓

(SQUEAKING)

#498

⇓

J.D., I DON'T HAVE A MESSENGER MONKEY.

#499

⇓

J.D., I DON'T HAVE A MESSENGER MONKEY.

#500

⇓

ALL RIGHT, FINE,

#501

⇓

ALL RIGHT, FINE,

#502

⇓

I'M A LITTLE ROUGHER THAN YOU ARE,

#503

⇓

BUT GUESS WHAT? THE TWO OF US

#504

⇓

HAVE TWO DISTINCTLY DIFFERENT PARENTING STYLES.

#505

⇓

YOU'RE AN OVERBEARING, HYPER-CAUTIOUS PSYCHOTIC,

#506

⇓

YOU'RE AN OVERBEARING, HYPER-CAUTIOUS PSYCHOTIC,

#507

⇓

AND I'M, WELL, YOU KNOW...FUN.

#508

⇓

AND I'M, WELL, YOU KNOW...FUN.

#509

⇓

AND I THINK IF WE CAN MEET SOMEWHERE IN THE MIDDLE,

#510

⇓

I THINK JACK'S GONNA BE TERRIFIC.

#511

⇓

I THINK JACK'S GONNA BE TERRIFIC.

#512

⇓

BESIDES, IT'S NOT LIKE I EVER PUT HIM IN ANY REAL DANGER.

#513

⇓

BESIDES, IT'S NOT LIKE I EVER PUT HIM IN ANY REAL DANGER.

#514

⇓

JACK: FLIP!

#515

⇓

FLIP? WHAT DOES "FLIP" MEAN, PERRY?

#516

⇓

FLIP? WHAT DOES "FLIP" MEAN, PERRY?

#517

⇓

JACK PROBABLY THINKS THAT MOMMY AND DADDY ARE BEING

#518

⇓

A LITTLE TOO SARCASTIC WITH EACH OTHER.

#519

⇓

A LITTLE TOO SARCASTIC WITH EACH OTHER.

#520

⇓

MAYBE.

#521

⇓

OR IT'S BECAUSE EVERY TIME HE SAYS "FLIP,"

#522

⇓

OR IT'S BECAUSE EVERY TIME HE SAYS "FLIP,"

#523

⇓

DADDY DOES A LITTLE TRICK WHERE HE GRABS JACK BY THE ANKLES,

#524

⇓

DADDY DOES A LITTLE TRICK WHERE HE GRABS JACK BY THE ANKLES,

#525

⇓

HE FLIPS HIM UPSIDE DOWN,

#526

⇓

HE DROPS HIM DOWN ONTO HIS SHOULDERS,

#527

⇓

AND THEN... (GASPS)

#528

⇓

PUTS HIM IN A LITTLE BABY TRAPEZE,

#529

⇓

SHOOTS HIM ACROSS THE SAND BOX WITHOUT A NET.

#530

⇓

SHOOTS HIM ACROSS THE SAND BOX WITHOUT A NET.

#531

⇓

YOU ARE NEVER TAKING JACK

#532

⇓

TO THE PARK WITHOUT ME. EVER!

#533

⇓

JORDAN...

#534

⇓

JORDAN...

#535

⇓

A TRAPEZE?!

#536

⇓

A TRAPEZE?!

#537

⇓

YEAH. PHOTOSHOP. YOU CAN DO ANYTHING.

#538

⇓

HERE I HAVE YOU WEARING A DUCK'S BILL. GET IT?

#539

⇓

HERE I HAVE YOU WEARING A DUCK'S BILL. GET IT?

#540

⇓

BECAUSE YOU'RE A QUACK.

#541

⇓

BECAUSE YOU'RE A QUACK.

#542

⇓

AH...

#543

⇓

NO! (LAUGHING)

#544

⇓

COME ON. CLASSIC COMEDY, MY FRIEND.

#545

⇓

COME ON. CLASSIC COMEDY, MY FRIEND.

#546

⇓

HE'LL LEARN.

#547

⇓

I'M SUCH A HORRIBLE PERSON. I MEAN, THERE I WAS,

#548

⇓

UP ON MY HIGH HORSE ABOUT MR. GERST,

#549

⇓

AND THEN I JUST TURNED OUT TO BE

#550

⇓

AND THEN I JUST TURNED OUT TO BE

#551

⇓

JUST AS BAD AS EVERYONE ELSE.

#552

⇓

SWEETHEART, GIVE YOURSELF SOME CREDIT.

#553

⇓

YOU WERE MUCH WORSE THAN EVERYONE ELSE.

#554

⇓

YOU WERE MUCH WORSE THAN EVERYONE ELSE.

#555

⇓

MAYBE I WAS, BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?

#556

⇓

I'M GONNA TRY AND BETTER MYSELF AND, UNLIKE YOU,

#557

⇓

I'M GONNA TRY AND BETTER MYSELF AND, UNLIKE YOU,

#558

⇓

I'M GONNA FOLLOW THROUGH,

#559

⇓

MR. SIGN-UP-ON-THE- HOSPITAL-BULLETIN-BOARD-

#560

⇓

MR. SIGN-UP-ON-THE- HOSPITAL-BULLETIN-BOARD-

#561

⇓

FOR-PRIVATE-GERMAN-LESSONS- AND-THEN-NEVER-SHOW-UP.

#562

⇓

YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT. IT WAS MY FLIER...

#563

⇓

YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT. IT WAS MY FLIER...

#564

⇓

I BROKE UP WITH MY GERMAN MISTRESS.

#565

⇓

I BROKE UP WITH MY GERMAN MISTRESS.

#566

⇓

SHE SMELLS LIKE SAUERKRAUT.

#567

⇓

I'M SO SORRY.

#568

⇓

I'M SO SORRY.

#569

⇓

NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,

#570

⇓

I'M GONNA GO INTO THAT ROOM RIGHT NOW

#571

⇓

AND OWN UP TO WHAT I DID. HA!

#572

⇓

AND OWN UP TO WHAT I DID. HA!

#573

⇓

(DOOR CLOSES)

#574

⇓

(DOOR CLOSES)

#575

⇓

HELLO? DID SOMEONE COME IN?

#576

⇓

HELLO? DID SOMEONE COME IN?

#577

⇓

(PANTING)

#578

⇓

J.D.: I HAD TO HIDE FROM TURK,

#579

⇓

SO I WENT TO THE ONE PLACE IN THE HOSPITAL

#580

⇓

WHERE I KNEW NO ONE WOULD EVER VENTURE.

#581

⇓

WHERE I KNEW NO ONE WOULD EVER VENTURE.

#582

⇓

TED? TED?

#583

⇓

A LITTLE HELP!

#584

⇓

A LITTLE HELP!

#585

⇓

TED, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

#586

⇓

I LIKE TO DO STOMACH CRUNCHES AFTER LUNCH.

#587

⇓

I LIKE TO DO STOMACH CRUNCHES AFTER LUNCH.

#588

⇓

TED, LUNCH WAS 4 HOURS AGO.

#589

⇓

YEP, I WASTED MOST OF MY TUESDAY.

#590

⇓

YEP, I WASTED MOST OF MY TUESDAY.

#591

⇓

IT'S WEDNESDAY.

#592

⇓

OH, MAN, I MISSED THE GILMORE GIRLS!

#593

⇓

OH, MAN, I MISSED THE GILMORE GIRLS!

#594

⇓

THERE YOU ARE. HEY, TED.

#595

⇓

TED: HEY.

#596

⇓

SO HOW DID IT GO LAST NIGHT?

#597

⇓

SO HOW DID IT GO LAST NIGHT?

#598

⇓

WHOA! WHAT'S WITH THE FIFTH DEGREE?

#599

⇓

DUDE, DON'T YOU MEAN THIRD DEGREE?

#600

⇓

DUDE, DON'T YOU MEAN THIRD DEGREE?

#601

⇓

NO, BECAUSE THIS IS TWO DEGREES WORSE.

#602

⇓

I CAN'T BREATHE. IT'S LIKE YOU'RE ALL OVER ME.

#603

⇓

I'M TRAPPED IN A DEATH COFFIN.

#604

⇓

I'M TRAPPED IN A DEATH COFFIN.

#605

⇓

CALM DOWN. I JUST WANTED TO SEE IF YOU GOT ANYWHERE WITH CARLA.

#606

⇓

(THINKING) ALL RIGHT, HE KNOWS YOUR LYING FACE,

#607

⇓

(THINKING) ALL RIGHT, HE KNOWS YOUR LYING FACE,

#608

⇓

BUT SILENCE IS INCRIMINATING, TOO.

#609

⇓

SO THINK!

#610

⇓

WHAT'S BETWEEN SILENCE AND TALKING?

#611

⇓

WHAT'S BETWEEN SILENCE AND TALKING?

#612

⇓

(MAKES NONSENSE SOUND)

#613

⇓

TURK? I THOUGHT YOU COULD TAKE ME OVER TO ELIOT'S PLACE

#614

⇓

TURK? I THOUGHT YOU COULD TAKE ME OVER TO ELIOT'S PLACE

#615

⇓

TO GET MY STUFF SO I COULD MOVE BACK IN.

#616

⇓

TO GET MY STUFF SO I COULD MOVE BACK IN.

#617

⇓

YEAH, SURE--REALLY?

#618

⇓

ALL RIGHT-- MEET ME DOWNSTAIRS, OK?

#619

⇓

OK.

#620

⇓

OK.

#621

⇓

(WHISPERING) I OWE YOU ONE.

#622

⇓

(GRUNTS)

#623

⇓

TED, YOU SHOULD PROBABLY SIT DOWN.

#624

⇓

TED, YOU SHOULD PROBABLY SIT DOWN.

#625

⇓

YOU'RE LOOKING A LITTLE PURPLE.

#626

⇓

I KNOW MY OWN BODY.

#627

⇓

I KNOW MY OWN BODY.

#628

⇓

(THUD)

#629

⇓

THANKS FOR SAVING MY ASS.

#630

⇓

WELL, I WASN'T SAVING YOUR ASS.

#631

⇓

WELL, I WASN'T SAVING YOUR ASS.

#632

⇓

I DIDN'T REALIZE HOW EASY IT IS

#633

⇓

TO MAKE LITTLE MISTAKES.

#634

⇓

THEY'RE STUPID LITTLE MISTAKES THAT SEEM LIKE NOTHING,

#635

⇓

THEY'RE STUPID LITTLE MISTAKES THAT SEEM LIKE NOTHING,

#636

⇓

BUT CAN SNOWBALL ON YOU

#637

⇓

BUT CAN SNOWBALL ON YOU

#638

⇓

AND TAKE YOUR WHOLE MARRIAGE WITH IT, YOU KNOW?

#639

⇓

MM-HMM.

#640

⇓

I FEEL LIKE I REALLY UNDERSTAND NOW

#641

⇓

I FEEL LIKE I REALLY UNDERSTAND NOW

#642

⇓

HOW TURK COULD HAVE LET STUFF LIKE THAT HAPPEN, YOU KNOW?

#643

⇓

HOW TURK COULD HAVE LET STUFF LIKE THAT HAPPEN, YOU KNOW?

#644

⇓

SO I FORGAVE HIM.

#645

⇓

OH, WELL, I GUESS I'M GLAD WE KISSED THEN.

#646

⇓

OH, WELL, I GUESS I'M GLAD WE KISSED THEN.

#647

⇓

ME, TOO.

#648

⇓

(GIGGLES)

#649

⇓

(GIGGLES)

#650

⇓

YOU GUYS READY?

#651

⇓

YEAH, WE ARE. LET'S DO IT.

#652

⇓

YEAH, WE ARE. LET'S DO IT.

#653

⇓

OK, WE JUST SAW THE PLASTIC SURGEON.

#654

⇓

JACK IS FINE, BUT IF THE CUT

#655

⇓

JACK IS FINE, BUT IF THE CUT

#656

⇓

WAS 4 INCHES TO THE LEFT AND 7 INCHES DEEPER,

#657

⇓

WAS 4 INCHES TO THE LEFT AND 7 INCHES DEEPER,

#658

⇓

IT COULD HAVE POTENTIALLY SCRATCHED HIS EYE.

#659

⇓

THAT WAS A CLOSE ONE.

#660

⇓

THAT WAS A CLOSE ONE.

#661

⇓

WHAT A SWEET LITTLE ANGEL.

#662

⇓

CAN I JUST GIVE HIM A LITTLE SQUEEZE?

#663

⇓

CAN I JUST GIVE HIM A LITTLE SQUEEZE?

#664

⇓

OF COURSE.

#665

⇓

PERRY: BACK OFF THEIR, LADY.

#666

⇓

PERRY: BACK OFF THEIR, LADY.

#667

⇓

HOW'S ABOUT YOU SAVE UP ALL THAT ENERGY

#668

⇓

FOR THE CRUISE? GO ON, GET OUT OF HERE.

#669

⇓

(WHISTLES)

#670

⇓

(WHISTLES)

#671

⇓

HIPPITY-HOP TO THE BARBER SHOP.

#672

⇓

COME ON, MOM.

#673

⇓

JORDAN, THIS HOSPITAL IS LITERALLY CRAWLING

#674

⇓

JORDAN, THIS HOSPITAL IS LITERALLY CRAWLING

#675

⇓

WITH GERMS AND DISEASE, AND IN ALL FAIRNESS,

#676

⇓

YOU DON'T KNOW IF THAT LADY IS A SICKIE

#677

⇓

YOU DON'T KNOW IF THAT LADY IS A SICKIE

#678

⇓

OR IF SHE WAS HERE VISITING A SICKIE

#679

⇓

AND SHE RAN HER SICKIE HANDS ALL OVER HIS SICKIE FACE.

#680

⇓

AND SHE RAN HER SICKIE HANDS ALL OVER HIS SICKIE FACE.

#681

⇓

I NORMALLY NEVER LET PEOPLE TOUCH HIM.

#682

⇓

OH, REALLY?

#683

⇓

OH, REALLY?

#684

⇓

BECAUSE THESE PHOTOGRAPHS WOULD BEG TO DIFFER.

#685

⇓

OLD LADY KISSING JACK,

#686

⇓

OLD LADY KISSING JACK,

#687

⇓

TEENAGE GIRL HUGGING JACK,

#688

⇓

TEENAGE GIRL HUGGING JACK,

#689

⇓

HOMELESS MAN... HOLDING JACK.

#690

⇓

HOMELESS MAN... HOLDING JACK.

#691

⇓

JORDAN!

#692

⇓

IT'S JUST CARL.

#693

⇓

HE HOLDS JACK WHEN I GET A BIKINI WAX.

#694

⇓

HE HOLDS JACK WHEN I GET A BIKINI WAX.

#695

⇓

WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH ME? I MEAN, I DON'T THINK TWICE

#696

⇓

ABOUT PEOPLE HOLDING HIM,

#697

⇓

ABOUT PEOPLE HOLDING HIM,

#698

⇓

AND YET I OBSESS ABOUT THINGS

#699

⇓

LIKE BROKEN ARMS, BROKEN LEGS, CHOKING,

#700

⇓

LIKE BROKEN ARMS, BROKEN LEGS, CHOKING,

#701

⇓

KIDNAPPING, DROWNING, SILLY PUTTY,

#702

⇓

BAD BABYSITTERS, PRETTY BABYSITTERS.

#703

⇓

BAD BABYSITTERS, PRETTY BABYSITTERS.

#704

⇓

YEAH, I PRETTY MUCH FREAK OUT OVER STAFF INFECTIONS,

#705

⇓

BLOOD DISEASE, MUMPS, MEASLES, SEX, DRUGS, ROCK AND ROLL,

#706

⇓

BLOOD DISEASE, MUMPS, MEASLES, SEX, DRUGS, ROCK AND ROLL,

#707

⇓

AND DEFINITELY ALL REGISTERED INDEPENDENTS,

#708

⇓

SO I THINK BETWEEN US WE'VE GOT IT COVERED.

#709

⇓

SO I THINK BETWEEN US WE'VE GOT IT COVERED.

#710

⇓

WAS THIS TAKEN AT MY MOTHER'S HOUSE?

#711

⇓

I GOTTA GO.

#712

⇓

I GOTTA GO.

#713

⇓

DUDE, THAT DID NOT HAPPEN.

#714

⇓

DUDE, THAT DID NOT HAPPEN.

#715

⇓

NO, I'M IN THE HOSPITAL BECAUSE I--

#716

⇓

THEY THINK I HAVE AVIAN FLU.

#717

⇓

THEY THINK I HAVE AVIAN FLU.

#718

⇓

I GOTTA CALL YOU BACK.

#719

⇓

I GOTTA CALL YOU BACK.

#720

⇓

HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN THERE?

#721

⇓

OH, 47, 48 MINUTES.

#722

⇓

OH, 47, 48 MINUTES.

#723

⇓

I'M NOT SURE. I NODDED OFF FOR A WHILE.

#724

⇓

(SIGHS)

#725

⇓

MR. GERST, I'M SO SORRY FOR LAUGHING AT YOU,

#726

⇓

MR. GERST, I'M SO SORRY FOR LAUGHING AT YOU,

#727

⇓

BUT I HAVE TO TELL YOU A STORY.

#728

⇓

BUT I HAVE TO TELL YOU A STORY.

#729

⇓

WHEN I WAS IN THE SEVENTH GRADE,

#730

⇓

I WAS AT A ROLLER RINK

#731

⇓

AND I NEEDED TO GO TO THE BATHROOM.

#732

⇓

AND I NEEDED TO GO TO THE BATHROOM.

#733

⇓

SO I JUST SKATED RIGHT ON INTO A STALL

#734

⇓

AND I DID MY, UH, PRIVATE BUSINESS,

#735

⇓

AND I DID MY, UH, PRIVATE BUSINESS,

#736

⇓

AND THEN WHEN I WENT TO PULL UP MY PANTS,

#737

⇓

I STARTED ROLLING TOWARDS THE DOOR,

#738

⇓

I STARTED ROLLING TOWARDS THE DOOR,

#739

⇓

WHICH AS IT TURNED OUT, WASN'T LATCHED.

#740

⇓

NOW, I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'VE HAD ANY EXPERIENCE

#741

⇓

ROLLER SKATING WITH YOUR UNDERPANTS AROUND YOUR ANKLES.

#742

⇓

ROLLER SKATING WITH YOUR UNDERPANTS AROUND YOUR ANKLES.

#743

⇓

IT'S VERY DIFFICULT TO STOP.

#744

⇓

UNLESS, OF COURSE, YOU KNOW, YOU SCREAM SO LOUD

#745

⇓

THAT THEY TURN OFF THE MUSIC AND EVERYONE IS LOOKING AT YOU.

#746

⇓

ANYWAY, THAT'S HOW I WOUND UP

#747

⇓

ANYWAY, THAT'S HOW I WOUND UP

#748

⇓

WITH THE NICKNAME "ROLLER MOLER."

#749

⇓

I'M SORRY?

#750

⇓

I HAVE A MOLE ON MY ASS. OH.

#751

⇓

I HAVE A MOLE ON MY ASS. OH.

#752

⇓

THE CUTE KIND, NOT THE HAIRY KIND.

#753

⇓

ANYWAY, THE NEXT DAY I SHOWED UP AT SCHOOL WITH ROLLER SKATES ON,

#754

⇓

ANYWAY, THE NEXT DAY I SHOWED UP AT SCHOOL WITH ROLLER SKATES ON,

#755

⇓

AND EVERYBODY CRACKED UP.

#756

⇓

AND EVERYBODY CRACKED UP.

#757

⇓

WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME THIS?

#758

⇓

BECAUSE I OWNED UP TO IT.

#759

⇓

BECAUSE I OWNED UP TO IT.

#760

⇓

THIS IS FUNNY, MR. GERST,

#761

⇓

AND IF YOU DON'T JUST EMBRACE IT AND BECOME PART OF THE JOKE,

#762

⇓

AND IF YOU DON'T JUST EMBRACE IT AND BECOME PART OF THE JOKE,

#763

⇓

THEN IT WILL FOLLOW YOU AROUND AND DEVOUR YOU.

#764

⇓

CAN I GET A LOOK AT THAT MOLE?

#765

⇓

CAN I GET A LOOK AT THAT MOLE?

#766

⇓

NO. AHEM. NO.

#767

⇓

THIS IS NICE, THE THREE OF US SITTING TOGETHER AGAIN

#768

⇓

LIKE THE THREE MUSKETEERS.

#769

⇓

LIKE THE THREE MUSKETEERS.

#770

⇓

YEAH. AND I NEED YOU GUYS TO SCRAPE YOUR PLATES

#771

⇓

YEAH. AND I NEED YOU GUYS TO SCRAPE YOUR PLATES

#772

⇓

BEFORE YOU PUT THEM IN THE DISHWASHER.

#773

⇓

SHE'S BACK.

#774

⇓

SHE'S BACK.

#775

⇓

MY BABY'S BACK!

#776

⇓

(GIGGLES)

#777

⇓

(GIGGLES)

#778

⇓

J.D.: CARLA WAS RIGHT.

#779

⇓

IF A RELATIONSHIP'S GONNA WORK,

#780

⇓

IT HAS TO BE BASED ON TRUST,

#781

⇓

IT HAS TO BE BASED ON TRUST,

#782

⇓

LIKE A WIFE TRUSTING HER HUSBAND AGAIN.

#783

⇓

HEY. HEY.

#784

⇓

HEY. HEY.

#785

⇓

YOUR KID'S BACK ON THE JUNGLE GYM.

#786

⇓

OH, SURE.

#787

⇓

GUESS YOUR WIFE BACKED DOWN.

#788

⇓

GUESS YOUR WIFE BACKED DOWN.

#789

⇓

YOU BET YOUR SWEET ASS SHE DID.

#790

⇓

J.D.: EVEN IF IT INVOLVES A COMPROMISE.

#791

⇓

HEY, JACK! JUST BLINK WHEN YOU WANT ME TO GET YOU DOWN.

#792

⇓

HEY, JACK! JUST BLINK WHEN YOU WANT ME TO GET YOU DOWN.

#793

⇓

JUST GIVE ME THE OLD BLINK-A-ROONIE.

#794

⇓

TERRIFIC ATHLETE.

#795

⇓

TERRIFIC ATHLETE.

#796

⇓

I'M THINKING 2016 OLYMPICS.

#797

⇓

OH, GOD, WAS THAT A BLINK?

#798

⇓

OH, GOD, WAS THAT A BLINK?

#799

⇓

EXCUSE ME.

#800

⇓

J.D.: OR A PATIENT TRUSTING HIS DOCTOR

#801

⇓

J.D.: OR A PATIENT TRUSTING HIS DOCTOR

#802

⇓

TO HELP HIM HOLD ON TO HIS DIGNITY.

#803

⇓

YES, AND THEN I PULLED OFF GRANDMA'S BREATHING APPARATUS.

#804

⇓

YES, AND THEN I PULLED OFF GRANDMA'S BREATHING APPARATUS.

#805

⇓

NO, I'M SERIOUS.

#806

⇓

NO, I'M SERIOUS.

#807

⇓

(LAUGHS)

#808

⇓

J.D.: IT MAY TAKE A LOT OF WORK, BUT IT'S WORTH IT.

#809

⇓

J.D.: IT MAY TAKE A LOT OF WORK, BUT IT'S WORTH IT.

#810

⇓

WOW, THAT WAS A MOIST KISS.

#811

⇓

WOW, THAT WAS A MOIST KISS.

#812

⇓

WISH I WAS WEARING AN APRON.

#813

⇓

BABY, FROM HERE ON OUT, I HIDE NOTHING FROM YOU.

#814

⇓

BABY, FROM HERE ON OUT, I HIDE NOTHING FROM YOU.

#815

⇓

IT'S A CLEAN START FOR US.

#816

⇓

IT'S A CLEAN START FOR US.

#817

⇓

SPORTS TIME!

#818

⇓

J.D.: BECAUSE IN THE END,

#819

⇓

J.D.: BECAUSE IN THE END,

#820

⇓

THINGS WORK OUT FOR THE BEST.

#821

⇓

J.D. AND I KISSED.

#822

⇓

J.D. AND I KISSED.

#823

⇓

J.D.: OR NOT.

#824

⇓

J.D.: OR NOT.

#825

⇓