Home » Scrubs » S04E15 — My Hypocritical Oath

Scrubs

Season 4, Episode 15 — My Hypocritical Oath

J.D., NARRATING: EVEN THOUGH IT CAN BE TOUGH AROUND HERE,

#1

⇓

SOMETIMES GOD GIVES YOU LITTLE GIFTS TO GET YOU THROUGH THE DAY.

#2

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SOMETIMES GOD GIVES YOU LITTLE GIFTS TO GET YOU THROUGH THE DAY.

#3

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AAH!

#4

⇓

AAH!

#5

⇓

YOU'RE GONNA WANT TO GRAB A MOP--

#6

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SHUSH. WATCHING THE SIXTH SENSE.

#7

⇓

SHUSH. WATCHING THE SIXTH SENSE.

#8

⇓

THERE'S A MESS IN THE HALLWAY.

#9

⇓

THIS KID SEES DEAD PEOPLE.

#10

⇓

THIS KID SEES DEAD PEOPLE.

#11

⇓

THAT FILM IS AT LEAST 5 YEARS OLD.

#12

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SO WHAT? I HAVEN'T SEEN IT.

#13

⇓

SO WHAT? I HAVEN'T SEEN IT.

#14

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BRUCE WILLIS IS A GHOST.

#15

⇓

HE'S BEEN DEAD THE ENTIRE TIME.

#16

⇓

HE'S BEEN DEAD THE ENTIRE TIME.

#17

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OH! ALL THE BEST.

#18

⇓

NO! NOOO!

#19

⇓

NO! NOOO!

#20

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YOU GUYS, I'M SO EXCITED ABOUT TONIGHT.

#21

⇓

YOU GUYS, I'M SO EXCITED ABOUT TONIGHT.

#22

⇓

SETTLE DOWN. WE'RE JUST GOING TO A NIGHTCLUB.

#23

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NO, CARLA. AN AFRICAN-AMERICAN CLUB.

#24

⇓

NO, CARLA. AN AFRICAN-AMERICAN CLUB.

#25

⇓

PROMISE ME YOU'LL BE COOL.

#26

⇓

J.D.: IN TURK'S DEFENSE, WE HAD TRIED THIS ONCE BEFORE.

#27

⇓

J.D.: IN TURK'S DEFENSE, WE HAD TRIED THIS ONCE BEFORE.

#28

⇓

YOU CAN'T TOUCH ME.

#29

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J.D: AND ONCE BEFORE THAT.

#30

⇓

J.D: AND ONCE BEFORE THAT.

#31

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YEEEAH, BOYYYEE!

#32

⇓

AW, MAN. IT'S ONLY 10:00.

#33

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J.D.: BUT, HEY, THE THIRD TIME'S A CHARM.

#34

⇓

ALL RIGHT, YOU THREE CAN GO IN.

#35

⇓

ALL RIGHT, YOU THREE CAN GO IN.

#36

⇓

WORD. UH-UH. YOU'RE OUT.

#37

⇓

OH, LOOK, SIR, PLEASE--

#38

⇓

OH, LOOK, SIR, PLEASE--

#39

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BABY, I GOT THIS. DON'T WORRY ABOUT THIS.

#40

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LISTEN HERE, MAN.

#41

⇓

HOMEY HERE, YOU KNOW, HE'S A LITTLE OUT OF HIS MIZZLE,

#42

⇓

HOMEY HERE, YOU KNOW, HE'S A LITTLE OUT OF HIS MIZZLE,

#43

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SO I'M JUST SAYING FOR JUST A LITTLE BIZZLE,

#44

⇓

IF YOU LET HIM UP IN THIS PIZZLE, HE'LL BE ALL CHIZZLE.

#45

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IF YOU LET HIM UP IN THIS PIZZLE, HE'LL BE ALL CHIZZLE.

#46

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YOU OUT, TOO.

#47

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YOU OUT, TOO.

#48

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SIR, THIS IS FOR IDIOT NUMBER ONE,

#49

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AND THIS IS FOR IDIOT NUMBER 2.

#50

⇓

AND THIS IS FOR IDIOT NUMBER 2.

#51

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COME ON, YOU FOOL.

#52

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COME ON, YOU FOOL.

#53

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(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)

#54

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(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)

#55

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OH, I KNEW I'D GET IN!

#56

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JUST DON'T LOOSE YOUR HEAD, BAMBI.

#57

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JUST DON'T LOOSE YOUR HEAD, BAMBI.

#58

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OH!

#59

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TURK! J.D.'S DOING THE--

#60

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TURK! J.D.'S DOING THE--

#61

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HEH. OH, GOD.

#62

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J.D.: 4 HOURS OF ROBOTING LEFT ME PARCHED.

#63

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J.D.: 4 HOURS OF ROBOTING LEFT ME PARCHED.

#64

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(R&B MUSIC PLAYING)

#65

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(R&B MUSIC PLAYING)

#66

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AND THAT'S WHEN I SAW KYLIE.

#67

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HI. CAN YOU MAKE ME AN APPLETINI?

#68

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HI. CAN YOU MAKE ME AN APPLETINI?

#69

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I HOPE SO. IT'S MY FAVORITE DRINK.

#70

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I HOPE SO. IT'S MY FAVORITE DRINK.

#71

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(THINKING) OH, MY GOD. THAT'S A SIGN!

#72

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IF ONLY SHE HAD MY GOOFY SENSE OF HUMOR.

#73

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IF ONLY SHE HAD MY GOOFY SENSE OF HUMOR.

#74

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RAN OUT OF VODKA. LET ME GO DOWNSTAIRS AND GET SOME MORE.

#75

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HA HA HA! I'VE BEEN WORKING ON MY FAKE STAIR WALK.

#76

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HA HA HA! I'VE BEEN WORKING ON MY FAKE STAIR WALK.

#77

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(THINKING) OK, TIME TO MOVE IN FOR THE KILL.

#78

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WORK THE FACT THAT YOU'RE A DOCTOR INTO THE CONVERSATION.

#79

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WORK THE FACT THAT YOU'RE A DOCTOR INTO THE CONVERSATION.

#80

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JUST BE SUBTLE.

#81

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I'M A DOCTOR. JOHN DORIAN.

#82

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I'M A DOCTOR. JOHN DORIAN.

#83

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MOST OF MY PATIENTS LIVE.

#84

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THIS IS SO WEIRD. I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR A DOCTOR...

#85

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THIS IS SO WEIRD. I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR A DOCTOR...

#86

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(THINKING) MY GOD, LOOK AT THOSE BEAUTIFUL EYES.

#87

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THEY'RE SO BIG I CAN SEE MYSELF IN THEM.

#88

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THEY'RE SO BIG I CAN SEE MYSELF IN THEM.

#89

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WOW! HOW CUTE AM I?

#90

⇓

WOW! HOW CUTE AM I?

#91

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SO IT'S PROBABLY NOTHING BIG,

#92

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BUT I'M WONDERING IF YOU COULD CHECK IT OUT.

#93

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BUT I'M WONDERING IF YOU COULD CHECK IT OUT.

#94

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YOU GOT IT. COME BY SACRED HEART TOMORROW.

#95

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I HAVE CLINIC HOURS. AFTER ALL, I'M A DOCTOR.

#96

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I HAVE CLINIC HOURS. AFTER ALL, I'M A DOCTOR.

#97

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DUDE, I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS. YOU'RE GONNA DATE A PATIENT.

#98

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DUDE, I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS. YOU'RE GONNA DATE A PATIENT.

#99

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I HOPE SHE HAS SOMETHING THAT KEEPS HER HERE FOR A WHILE

#100

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SO YOU CAN GET TO KNOW HER.

#101

⇓

SO YOU CAN GET TO KNOW HER.

#102

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I GOTTA THANK YOU

#103

⇓

FOR TAKING A SPECIAL INTEREST IN THIS.

#104

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DON'T GIVE HIM TOO MUCH CREDIT. HE'S JUST EXCITED

#105

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DON'T GIVE HIM TOO MUCH CREDIT. HE'S JUST EXCITED

#106

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BECAUSE HE WISHES HE DATED MORE SEXY BLACK WOMEN WHEN HE WAS SINGLE.

#107

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BECAUSE HE WISHES HE DATED MORE SEXY BLACK WOMEN WHEN HE WAS SINGLE.

#108

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WELL, AT LEAST HE MARRIED ONE.

#109

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TODD, I'M NOT BLACK.

#110

⇓

RIGHT. AND I'M NOT STRAIGHT.

#111

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RIGHT. AND I'M NOT STRAIGHT.

#112

⇓

DO YOU EVER GET THAT SPECIAL FLUTTERY FEELING IN YOUR HEART

#113

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DO YOU EVER GET THAT SPECIAL FLUTTERY FEELING IN YOUR HEART

#114

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WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE A WOMAN'S ABOUT TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE?

#115

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WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE A WOMAN'S ABOUT TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE?

#116

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HEY, J.D.! THIS IS MY BOYFRIEND JAMES.

#117

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HEY, J.D.! THIS IS MY BOYFRIEND JAMES.

#118

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THANKS AGAIN FOR SEEING HIM.

#119

⇓

HOW'S YOUR HEART?

#120

⇓

HOW'S YOUR HEART?

#121

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THE FLUTTERING HAS STOPPED.

#122

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# I CAN'T DO THIS ALL ON MY OWN, NO, I KNOW #

#123

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# I CAN'T DO THIS ALL ON MY OWN, NO, I KNOW #

#124

⇓

# I'M NO SUPERMAN #

#125

⇓

# I'M NO SUPERMAN #

#126

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BE WITH YOU IN A SECOND.

#127

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THANKS, DOC.

#128

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THANKS, DOC.

#129

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IT'S FUNNY. I THOUGHT YOU SAID

#130

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YOU WERE THE ONE WHO NEEDED A DOCTOR.

#131

⇓

NO. I TOLD YOU IT WAS JAMES.

#132

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NO. I TOLD YOU IT WAS JAMES.

#133

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OH. HOW COULD I NOT HAVE HEARD THAT?

#134

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REMEMBER, I SAID...

#135

⇓

REMEMBER, I SAID...

#136

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(THINKING) MY GOD, LOOK AT THOSE BEAUTIFUL EYES.

#137

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THEY'RE SO B-- YOU'RE DOING IT AGAIN!

#138

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THEY'RE SO B-- YOU'RE DOING IT AGAIN!

#139

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SO I'LL SEE YOU IN THERE.

#140

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OK. IN THERE I'LL SEE YOU.

#141

⇓

OK. IN THERE I'LL SEE YOU.

#142

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HA HA HA!

#143

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I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S OVER.

#144

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DUDE, IT'S NOT THAT SERIOUS, ALL RIGHT?

#145

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THERE COULD BE A WINDOW,

#146

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THERE COULD BE A WINDOW,

#147

⇓

BUT YOU HAVE TO GET IN THERE AND FISH

#148

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FOR INFORMATION, ALL RIGHT?

#149

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YOU DON'T WANT TO LOSE THIS HOTTIE!

#150

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YOU DON'T WANT TO LOSE THIS HOTTIE!

#151

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SHE IS SLAMMING HOTTIE, AND YOU DON'T WANT TO--

#152

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TURK. MM-HMM.

#153

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TURK. MM-HMM.

#154

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I GOT THIS. BABY, YOU KNOW YOU'RE HIS WORLD.

#155

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I'M GOING FOR IT. BUT, YOU KNOW, I GOTTA GO IN THERE HOT.

#156

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I'M GOING FOR IT. BUT, YOU KNOW, I GOTTA GO IN THERE HOT.

#157

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TURK, WHAT'S THAT JOKE

#158

⇓

THAT MICKHEAD ALWAYS TELLS?

#159

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THAT MICKHEAD ALWAYS TELLS?

#160

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DUDE, A GUY WALKS INTO A DENTIST'S OFFICE

#161

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DUDE, A GUY WALKS INTO A DENTIST'S OFFICE

#162

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AND SAYS, "I THINK I'M A MOTH."

#163

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THE DENTIST THEN SAYS, "WELL, IF YOU THINK "YOU'RE A MOTH,

#164

⇓

THE DENTIST THEN SAYS, "WELL, IF YOU THINK "YOU'RE A MOTH,

#165

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WHY'D YOU COME TO THE DENTIST'S OFFICE?"

#166

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THE GUY THEN SAYS,

#167

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THE GUY THEN SAYS,

#168

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"WELL, THE LIGHT WAS ON."

#169

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THAT MOTH IS CRAZY.

#170

⇓

THAT MOTH IS CRAZY.

#171

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HEY, I HEARD A GREAT JOKE.

#172

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A GUYS WALKS INTO A DENTIST'S OFFICE

#173

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AND SAYS, "I THINK I'M A MOTH,"

#174

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AND THE DENTIST SAYS, "WELL, IF YOU THINK YOU'RE A MOTH,

#175

⇓

AND THE DENTIST SAYS, "WELL, IF YOU THINK YOU'RE A MOTH,

#176

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WHY ARE YOU IN A DENTIST'S OFFICE?"

#177

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(THINKING) OH, NO, I FORGOT THE PUNCH LINE.

#178

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(THINKING) OH, NO, I FORGOT THE PUNCH LINE.

#179

⇓

YOU CAN'T BAIL OUT NOW. STALL, STALL.

#180

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YOU CAN'T BAIL OUT NOW. STALL, STALL.

#181

⇓

SO THE MOTH SAYS,

#182

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"THAT'S A GOOD QUESTION.

#183

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"THAT'S A GOOD QUESTION.

#184

⇓

WHAT KIND OF DENTIST ARE YOU?"

#185

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AND THE DENTIST SAYS, "WELL, I'M A GENERAL DENTIST,

#186

⇓

AND THE DENTIST SAYS, "WELL, I'M A GENERAL DENTIST,

#187

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"BUT I DO DABBLE IN ORTHODONTRY,

#188

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BRACES AND SUCH," AND THE MOTH SAYS,

#189

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BRACES AND SUCH," AND THE MOTH SAYS,

#190

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"ORTHODONTRY? I HEAR THERE'S GREAT MONEY IN THAT."

#191

⇓

"ORTHODONTRY? I HEAR THERE'S GREAT MONEY IN THAT."

#192

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(THINKING) THE LIGHT WAS ON!

#193

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"BUT TO ANSWER YOUR ORIGINAL QUESTION,

#194

⇓

"BUT TO ANSWER YOUR ORIGINAL QUESTION,

#195

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"WHICH WAS IF I THINK I'M A MOTH,

#196

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"WHY AM I IN A DENTIST'S OFFICE,

#197

⇓

"WHY AM I IN A DENTIST'S OFFICE,

#198

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THE ANSWER IS BECAUSE THE LIGHT WAS ON."

#199

⇓

HA HA HA!

#200

⇓

HA HA HA!

#201

⇓

THE LIGHT. IT WAS THE LIGHT, JAMES.

#202

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MOTHS LOVE LIGHT. SO, JAMES,

#203

⇓

MOTHS LOVE LIGHT. SO, JAMES,

#204

⇓

OTHER THAN YOUR FUNNY BONE BEING BROKEN,

#205

⇓

WHAT SEEMS TO BE THE PROBLEM?

#206

⇓

WHAT SEEMS TO BE THE PROBLEM?

#207

⇓

I'VE HAD A FEVER AND STOMACHACHE FOR ALMOST A WEEK.

#208

⇓

OK, WELL, LET'S GET A LITTLE HISTORY ON YOU.

#209

⇓

OK, WELL, LET'S GET A LITTLE HISTORY ON YOU.

#210

⇓

(THINKING) TIME TO GO FISHING FOR SOME INFO.

#211

⇓

(THINKING) TIME TO GO FISHING FOR SOME INFO.

#212

⇓

DO YOU EVER HAVE ANY SHORTNESS OF BREATH,

#213

⇓

FOR INSTANCE WHEN YOU'RE WALKING KYLIE TO THE APARTMENT THAT YOU SHARE?

#214

⇓

FOR INSTANCE WHEN YOU'RE WALKING KYLIE TO THE APARTMENT THAT YOU SHARE?

#215

⇓

WE DON'T LIVE TOGETHER.

#216

⇓

(THINKING) WINDOW! WINDOW!

#217

⇓

(THINKING) WINDOW! WINDOW!

#218

⇓

OH, SO YOU'RE WAITING UNTIL YOU GET MARRIED.

#219

⇓

WE'RE NOT ENGAGED.

#220

⇓

WE'RE NOT ENGAGED.

#221

⇓

TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTION, I DON'T HAVE ANY SHORTNESS OF BREATH,

#222

⇓

BUT MY RIGHT KNEE IS A LITTLE PUFFY.

#223

⇓

BUT MY RIGHT KNEE IS A LITTLE PUFFY.

#224

⇓

WELL, MAYBE THAT'S FROM DRAGGING YOUR FEET. AM I RIGHT, KYLIE?

#225

⇓

WELL, MAYBE THAT'S FROM DRAGGING YOUR FEET. AM I RIGHT, KYLIE?

#226

⇓

SHE KNOWS! OK.

#227

⇓

(THINKING) USING PATIENT HISTORIES TO YOUR ADVANTAGE IS AN OLD DOCTOR TRICK.

#228

⇓

(THINKING) USING PATIENT HISTORIES TO YOUR ADVANTAGE IS AN OLD DOCTOR TRICK.

#229

⇓

LET'S FACE IT. WHAT A DOCTOR SAYS AND WHAT THEY MEAN

#230

⇓

LET'S FACE IT. WHAT A DOCTOR SAYS AND WHAT THEY MEAN

#231

⇓

ARE OFTEN 2 DIFFERENT THINGS.

#232

⇓

I KNOW DR. ROBBINS TREATED YOUR HUSBAND IN THE E.R.,

#233

⇓

I KNOW DR. ROBBINS TREATED YOUR HUSBAND IN THE E.R.,

#234

⇓

BUT WE'RE GONNA APPROACH THIS CASE A BIT DIFFERENTLY.

#235

⇓

AND IT'S VERY COMFORTING TO HAVE

#236

⇓

AND IT'S VERY COMFORTING TO HAVE

#237

⇓

THE CHIEF OF MEDICINE HERE.

#238

⇓

I TOOK A SPECIAL INTEREST IN THIS CASE.

#239

⇓

I TOOK A SPECIAL INTEREST IN THIS CASE.

#240

⇓

OH, THANK YOU.

#241

⇓

HEY, ELLIOT. YOUR BOOBIES LOOK HOT TODAY.

#242

⇓

HEY, ELLIOT. YOUR BOOBIES LOOK HOT TODAY.

#243

⇓

UGH! MR. CHENG'S TEST RESULTS SHOW THAT HE'S IN RENAL FAILURE.

#244

⇓

UGH! MR. CHENG'S TEST RESULTS SHOW THAT HE'S IN RENAL FAILURE.

#245

⇓

WE'RE JUST WAITING FOR THE RESULTS OF HIS BLOOD SMEAR.

#246

⇓

NO NEED. I SAW HIS CHART RIGHT BEFORE

#247

⇓

NO NEED. I SAW HIS CHART RIGHT BEFORE

#248

⇓

I WENT TO THE BAKERY. HE'S GOT MALARIA.

#249

⇓

AND YOU WERE GOING TO TELL HIM THIS

#250

⇓

AND YOU WERE GOING TO TELL HIM THIS

#251

⇓

AFTER YOU HAD A STICKY BUN?

#252

⇓

WELL, IN MY DEFENSE, HE'S GOING TO LIVE

#253

⇓

WELL, IN MY DEFENSE, HE'S GOING TO LIVE

#254

⇓

AT LEAST ANOTHER 12 HOURS AND THE BAKERY CLOSES AT 5:00.

#255

⇓

BUT WE'VE GOTTA GET MOVING ON THIS.

#256

⇓

BUT WE'VE GOTTA GET MOVING ON THIS.

#257

⇓

WHAT SHOULD WE DO?

#258

⇓

NOTHING. MR. CHENG IS NOT LONG FOR THIS WORLD.

#259

⇓

NOTHING. MR. CHENG IS NOT LONG FOR THIS WORLD.

#260

⇓

DO YOU BELIEVE THAT GUY?

#261

⇓

I NEVER CEASE TO BE AMAZED BY THE DEPTH

#262

⇓

I NEVER CEASE TO BE AMAZED BY THE DEPTH

#263

⇓

OF HIS CYNICISM AND CALLOUSNESS.

#264

⇓

SO WHAT DO YOU THINK WE SHOULD DO?

#265

⇓

SO WHAT DO YOU THINK WE SHOULD DO?

#266

⇓

OH, I DON'T CARE. I'M GOING HOME TO WATCH THE LAKERS PLAY THE HEAT.

#267

⇓

IT'S THE GAME OF THE YEAR, SHAQ VERSUS KOBE.

#268

⇓

IT'S THE GAME OF THE YEAR, SHAQ VERSUS KOBE.

#269

⇓

AND YOU ARE GOING TO STAY HERE AND DEAL WITH THIS YOURSELF.

#270

⇓

AND YOU ARE GOING TO STAY HERE AND DEAL WITH THIS YOURSELF.

#271

⇓

SHAQ VERSUS KOBE?

#272

⇓

ALL THE BEST. OOH! LET IT HAPPEN.

#273

⇓

ALL THE BEST. OOH! LET IT HAPPEN.

#274

⇓

3, 2, 1--AHH!

#275

⇓

WHAT'S THIS STRETCH GOOD FOR?

#276

⇓

WHAT'S THIS STRETCH GOOD FOR?

#277

⇓

IT LOOSENS UP MY CHEST, BUT YOU SHOULD PROBABLY STRETCH, TOO.

#278

⇓

IT LOOSENS UP MY CHEST, BUT YOU SHOULD PROBABLY STRETCH, TOO.

#279

⇓

DON'T NEED TO, BUDDY. I GOT A TUBE OF BEN-GAY

#280

⇓

ON EACH ONE OF MY HAMSTRINGS.

#281

⇓

ON EACH ONE OF MY HAMSTRINGS.

#282

⇓

HOW ARE THINGS GOING WITH KYLIE?

#283

⇓

THEY'RE OK. IS THERE SOME SPECIAL WAY

#284

⇓

TO GET A BLACK GIRL TO LIKE YOU?

#285

⇓

TO GET A BLACK GIRL TO LIKE YOU?

#286

⇓

DUDE, THE ONLY DIFFERENCE

#287

⇓

BETWEEN A BLACK GIRL AND A WHITE GIRL

#288

⇓

IS THAT WHEN A BLACK GIRL ASKS YOU

#289

⇓

IS THAT WHEN A BLACK GIRL ASKS YOU

#290

⇓

IF HER ASS LOOKS BIG, YOU SAY, "HELL, YEAH."

#291

⇓

ALL RIGHT. OK?

#292

⇓

ALL RIGHT. OK?

#293

⇓

YOU WANT TO PLAY SOME BALL? HELL, YES.

#294

⇓

DR. KELSO, I'VE THOUGHT ABOUT IT,

#295

⇓

AND I AM NOT GOING TO JUST STAND AROUND

#296

⇓

AND I AM NOT GOING TO JUST STAND AROUND

#297

⇓

AND WAIT FOR MR. CHENG TO DIE.

#298

⇓

EXCUSE ME? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

#299

⇓

BARBIE GOING TOE TO TOE WITH BIG BOB

#300

⇓

BARBIE GOING TOE TO TOE WITH BIG BOB

#301

⇓

IN A BATTLE OF THE ANNOYINGS?

#302

⇓

WELL, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

#303

⇓

WELL, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

#304

⇓

WE SHOULD DO AN EXCHANGE TRANSFUSION.

#305

⇓

AND THE SOUTHPAW WITH THE BLONDE BANGS

#306

⇓

AND THE SOUTHPAW WITH THE BLONDE BANGS

#307

⇓

AND BIG BRITCHES COMES OUT SWINGING!

#308

⇓

SWEETHEART, THE MAN IS 72

#309

⇓

SWEETHEART, THE MAN IS 72

#310

⇓

AND IN MULTI-SYSTEM ORGAN DYSFUNCTION.

#311

⇓

IT'S DONE. IT'S PARASITES ONE, PERSON ZERO,

#312

⇓

IT'S DONE. IT'S PARASITES ONE, PERSON ZERO,

#313

⇓

AND IF YOU TELL THAT FAMILY HE'S GOT A CHANCE,

#314

⇓

ALL YOU'RE DOING IS RAISING THEIR HOPES.

#315

⇓

ALL YOU'RE DOING IS RAISING THEIR HOPES.

#316

⇓

OH, TREMENDOUS BODY BLOW!

#317

⇓

OH, TREMENDOUS BODY BLOW!

#318

⇓

OH, AND FOR THE RECORD, WE'RE NOT COLLEAGUES.

#319

⇓

I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK.

#320

⇓

I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK.

#321

⇓

DING! DING! DING!

#322

⇓

AND THE FIGHT GOES TO THE STOCKY MIDDLEWEIGHT

#323

⇓

AND THE FIGHT GOES TO THE STOCKY MIDDLEWEIGHT

#324

⇓

FROM MONROEVILLE, PENNSYLVANIA.

#325

⇓

BY THE WAY, PERRY, MICKHEAD CALLED IN SICK.

#326

⇓

BY THE WAY, PERRY, MICKHEAD CALLED IN SICK.

#327

⇓

I NEED YOU TO WORK TONIGHT.

#328

⇓

WELL, THAT'S ALL AND GOOD, BUT I'M NOT AVAILABLE.

#329

⇓

WELL, THAT'S ALL AND GOOD, BUT I'M NOT AVAILABLE.

#330

⇓

THERE IS NO CHANCE I AM MISSING THIS GAME.

#331

⇓

NO CHANCE, NO HOW.

#332

⇓

NO CHANCE, NO HOW.

#333

⇓

WHAT THE--

#334

⇓

SAY, BOB, WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED IN YOUR OFFICE?

#335

⇓

SAY, BOB, WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED IN YOUR OFFICE?

#336

⇓

OH, EVERY YEAR, THE MED STUDENTS

#337

⇓

OH, EVERY YEAR, THE MED STUDENTS

#338

⇓

GET ME WITH A PRACTICAL JOKE.

#339

⇓

THEY MESSED WITH THE SPEED CONTROL ON MY TREADMILL.

#340

⇓

THEY MESSED WITH THE SPEED CONTROL ON MY TREADMILL.

#341

⇓

(BEEPS)

#342

⇓

(WILLIAM TELL OVERTURE PLAYING)

#343

⇓

(WILLIAM TELL OVERTURE PLAYING)

#344

⇓

WHAT I CAN'T FIGURE IS HOW THEY GOT INTO MY OFFICE.

#345

⇓

WHAT I CAN'T FIGURE IS HOW THEY GOT INTO MY OFFICE.

#346

⇓

HERE'S THE KEY TO KELSO'S OFFICE.

#347

⇓

AND HERE'S NURSE TISDALE'S PHONE NUMBER.

#348

⇓

AND HERE'S NURSE TISDALE'S PHONE NUMBER.

#349

⇓

I DON'T HAVE ANY IDEA HOW THEY MIGHT'VE GOTTEN IN HERE, BOB,

#350

⇓

BUT I CAN TELL YOU THIS. IF YOU THINK I'M MISSING

#351

⇓

BUT I CAN TELL YOU THIS. IF YOU THINK I'M MISSING

#352

⇓

THE BIGGEST GAME OF THE YEAR, YOU'VE GOT ANOTHER THING--

#353

⇓

THE BIGGEST GAME OF THE YEAR, YOU'VE GOT ANOTHER THING--

#354

⇓

I HATE TO INTERRUPT YOU, BUT I'M STILL FEELING A LITTLE WOOZY

#355

⇓

FROM BEING SHOT INTO MY WALL LIKE A LAWN DART,

#356

⇓

FROM BEING SHOT INTO MY WALL LIKE A LAWN DART,

#357

⇓

SO WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO WORK YOUR SHIFT

#358

⇓

AND USE MY VCR TO TAPE THE GAME?

#359

⇓

AND USE MY VCR TO TAPE THE GAME?

#360

⇓

WHEN DID YOU GET THIS?

#361

⇓

WHEN DID YOU GET THIS?

#362

⇓

RIGHT ABOUT THE TIME WE COULDN'T AFFORD THAT MRI MACHINE.

#363

⇓

AH, OF COURSE YOU DID. HEH!

#364

⇓

AH, OF COURSE YOU DID. HEH!

#365

⇓

HEY, KYLIE, I WROTE DOWN THAT MOTH JOKE FOR YOU.

#366

⇓

HEY, KYLIE, I WROTE DOWN THAT MOTH JOKE FOR YOU.

#367

⇓

WOW.

#368

⇓

(THINKING) GIVE HER A COMPLIMENT. TELL HER SHE HAS A HUGE ASS.

#369

⇓

(THINKING) GIVE HER A COMPLIMENT. TELL HER SHE HAS A HUGE ASS.

#370

⇓

YOU-- WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR EYE?

#371

⇓

YOU-- WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR EYE?

#372

⇓

OH, THIS. IT'S A LITTLE EMBARRASSING. I WAS PLAYING BASKET--

#373

⇓

EMBARRASSING FOR ME, ACTUALLY. SEE--

#374

⇓

EMBARRASSING FOR ME, ACTUALLY. SEE--

#375

⇓

(WHISPERING) WINGMAN TIME.

#376

⇓

WE WERE PLAYING BASKETBALL,

#377

⇓

AND HE SCORED 8 BUCKETS IN A ROW ON YOURS TRULY.

#378

⇓

AND HE SCORED 8 BUCKETS IN A ROW ON YOURS TRULY.

#379

⇓

I ALLEY-OOPED HIM. SHUT UP.

#380

⇓

I ALLEY-OOPED HIM. SHUT UP.

#381

⇓

HMM! YOU COULD'VE USED J.D. AT SETON HALL.

#382

⇓

OH, ALSO, THE SOUP KITCHEN WHERE YOU VOLUNTEER CALLED,

#383

⇓

OH, ALSO, THE SOUP KITCHEN WHERE YOU VOLUNTEER CALLED,

#384

⇓

AND THEY SAID-- YOU PLAYED BALL AT SETON HALL?

#385

⇓

ALL 4 YEARS.

#386

⇓

ALL 4 YEARS.

#387

⇓

GET OUT OF HERE!

#388

⇓

DID THE SOUP KITCHEN WHERE I VOLUNTEER HAVE A MESSAGE?

#389

⇓

DID THE SOUP KITCHEN WHERE I VOLUNTEER HAVE A MESSAGE?

#390

⇓

YEAH, THEY'RE OUT OF BROTH.

#391

⇓

SO WHAT WAS IT LIKE PLAYING COLLEGE BALL?

#392

⇓

SWEETIE, I'M GONNA GO TO THE CAFETERIA

#393

⇓

SWEETIE, I'M GONNA GO TO THE CAFETERIA

#394

⇓

AND GET YOU A COFFEE.

#395

⇓

HELL, NO! SWEETIE AIN'T DRINKING NO CAFETERIA COFFEE.

#396

⇓

HELL, NO! SWEETIE AIN'T DRINKING NO CAFETERIA COFFEE.

#397

⇓

SWEETIE, YOU ARE DRINKING THE COFFEE FROM THE DOCTORS' LOUNGE.

#398

⇓

SWEETIE, YOU ARE DRINKING THE COFFEE FROM THE DOCTORS' LOUNGE.

#399

⇓

LET'S--SETON HALL, HUH? YEAH!

#400

⇓

LET'S--SETON HALL, HUH? YEAH!

#401

⇓

THANK YOU.

#402

⇓

IT'S THE TEST RESULTS. LET'S SEE WHAT'S GOING ON.

#403

⇓

IT'S THE TEST RESULTS. LET'S SEE WHAT'S GOING ON.

#404

⇓

YOUR GRAMSTAIN SHOWS THAT YOU HAVE...

#405

⇓

YOUR GRAMSTAIN SHOWS THAT YOU HAVE...

#406

⇓

YOU HAVE GONORRHEA.

#407

⇓

YOU HAVE GONORRHEA.

#408

⇓

OHH.

#409

⇓

WE SHOULD PROBABLY TEST KYLIE TO SEE IF SHE'S INFECTED.

#410

⇓

WE SHOULD PROBABLY TEST KYLIE TO SEE IF SHE'S INFECTED.

#411

⇓

OH, NO, WE HAVEN'T SLEPT TOGETHER.

#412

⇓

OH, NO, WE HAVEN'T SLEPT TOGETHER.

#413

⇓

IT'S NOT LIKE I'M MISSING OUT.

#414

⇓

HEH! I PROBABLY GOT IT FROM MY SECRETARY.

#415

⇓

HEH! I PROBABLY GOT IT FROM MY SECRETARY.

#416

⇓

OR THAT TRAINER FROM THE GYM.

#417

⇓

OOH! OR THIS FINE CHICK TAMYRA THAT BARTENDS WITH KYLIE.

#418

⇓

OOH! OR THIS FINE CHICK TAMYRA THAT BARTENDS WITH KYLIE.

#419

⇓

YEAH!

#420

⇓

WE SHOULD PROBABLY GET YOU FIXED UP

#421

⇓

WE SHOULD PROBABLY GET YOU FIXED UP

#422

⇓

OR THINGS MIGHT START FALLING OFF OF YOU.

#423

⇓

OR THINGS MIGHT START FALLING OFF OF YOU.

#424

⇓

LISTEN UP. I HAVE BEEN CURSED

#425

⇓

LISTEN UP. I HAVE BEEN CURSED

#426

⇓

TO WORK THE NIGHT SHIFT WITH YOU CHUCKLEHEADS,

#427

⇓

WHICH MEANS I HAVE TO TAPE THE LAKER-HEAT GAME,

#428

⇓

WHICH MEANS I HAVE TO TAPE THE LAKER-HEAT GAME,

#429

⇓

AND SEEING AS NO ONE IN THE HISTORY OF THIS GERMBOX

#430

⇓

AND SEEING AS NO ONE IN THE HISTORY OF THIS GERMBOX

#431

⇓

HAS NEVER MADE MADE IT THROUGH A SHIFT WITHOUT SAYING,

#432

⇓

"OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD!

#433

⇓

"OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD!

#434

⇓

"DID YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT

#435

⇓

"ON AMERICA'S FATTEST FATTIES?

#436

⇓

"A 900-POUND WOMAN LOST A POUND AND A HALF

#437

⇓

"A 900-POUND WOMAN LOST A POUND AND A HALF

#438

⇓

AND CRIED FOR 20 MINUTES." BE WARNED.

#439

⇓

AND CRIED FOR 20 MINUTES." BE WARNED.

#440

⇓

IF YOU UTTER A WORD ABOUT THE SCORE OF THE GAME,

#441

⇓

IT WILL BE YOUR LAST. NOW GET OUT!

#442

⇓

IT WILL BE YOUR LAST. NOW GET OUT!

#443

⇓

GO, GO, GO, GO! (WHISTLES) CHOP, CHOP!

#444

⇓

GO, GO, GO, GO! (WHISTLES) CHOP, CHOP!

#445

⇓

J.D., NARRATING: WHAT DRIVES PEOPLE TO SEEK REVENGE?

#446

⇓

SO...YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE ENDING OF SOMETHING.

#447

⇓

SO...YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE ENDING OF SOMETHING.

#448

⇓

I CAN RELATE TO THAT.

#449

⇓

I CAN RELATE TO THAT.

#450

⇓

WHAT IS THAT IN YOUR LAP?

#451

⇓

LEONARD. HALF-KITTEN, HALF-MONKEY.

#452

⇓

LEONARD. HALF-KITTEN, HALF-MONKEY.

#453

⇓

KELSO: UNFORTUNATELY, WITH HIS SYSTEM FAILING,

#454

⇓

DR. REID AND I HAVE AGREED THERE'S NOTHING MORE WE CAN DO.

#455

⇓

DR. REID AND I HAVE AGREED THERE'S NOTHING MORE WE CAN DO.

#456

⇓

(SOBS)

#457

⇓

J.D.: WHAT DRIVES PEOPLE TO GO BACK ON THEIR WORD?

#458

⇓

J.D.: WHAT DRIVES PEOPLE TO GO BACK ON THEIR WORD?

#459

⇓

IF WE DO AN EXCHANGE TRANSFUSION,

#460

⇓

THERE'S A CHANCE WE CAN SAVE YOUR FATHER.

#461

⇓

THERE'S A CHANCE WE CAN SAVE YOUR FATHER.

#462

⇓

OH! THANK YOU, THANK YOU!

#463

⇓

THANK YOU,

#464

⇓

NOW, YOU HAVE TO KEEP THIS BETWEEN US.

#465

⇓

YOU KNOW, DOCTOR-PATIENT CONFIDENTIALITY, RIGHT?

#466

⇓

J.D.: AND WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN EVERY FIBER IN YOUR BEING

#467

⇓

J.D.: AND WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN EVERY FIBER IN YOUR BEING

#468

⇓

WANTS TO SAY SOMETHING, BUT YOU KNOW YOU CAN'T.

#469

⇓

HEY! WHAT ARE YOU GUYS TALKING ABOUT?

#470

⇓

HEY! WHAT ARE YOU GUYS TALKING ABOUT?

#471

⇓

NOTHING.

#472

⇓

NOTHING.

#473

⇓

WHY DO ALL THE GOOD ONES HAVE BOYFRIENDS WITH VENEREAL DISEASES,

#474

⇓

WHY DO ALL THE GOOD ONES HAVE BOYFRIENDS WITH VENEREAL DISEASES,

#475

⇓

BUT YOU CAN'T SAY ANYTHING BECAUSE YOU'RE THE GUY'S DOCTOR?

#476

⇓

I AM SO SICK OF MEN SCREWING WOMEN OVER,

#477

⇓

I AM SO SICK OF MEN SCREWING WOMEN OVER,

#478

⇓

LIKE CHEATING ON THEM OR USING YOUR LAVENDER BATH GEL

#479

⇓

LIKE CHEATING ON THEM OR USING YOUR LAVENDER BATH GEL

#480

⇓

TO WASH THEIR CAR.

#481

⇓

BABY, YOU DID NOT JUST COMPARE CHEATING

#482

⇓

AND GETTING GONORRHEA TO ME USING YOUR SOAP.

#483

⇓

AND GETTING GONORRHEA TO ME USING YOUR SOAP.

#484

⇓

I'M JUST SAYING MEN LET YOU DOWN.

#485

⇓

I'M JUST SAYING MEN LET YOU DOWN.

#486

⇓

J.D., YOU HAVE TO TELL HER.

#487

⇓

BABY, WHEN J.D. BECAME A DOCTOR, HE TOOK THE HIPPOCRATIC OATH,

#488

⇓

BABY, WHEN J.D. BECAME A DOCTOR, HE TOOK THE HIPPOCRATIC OATH,

#489

⇓

AND I'M SORRY, BUT THERE'S NO WAY AROUND IT.

#490

⇓

IS THERE AN "A"?

#491

⇓

IS THERE AN "A"?

#492

⇓

YES, THERE IS.

#493

⇓

YES!

#494

⇓

YES!

#495

⇓

THERE MAY BE A WAY AROUND IT.

#496

⇓

THERE MAY BE A WAY AROUND IT.

#497

⇓

THANKS.

#498

⇓

OOH! BARBIE, YOU ARE UP THERE

#499

⇓

OOH! BARBIE, YOU ARE UP THERE

#500

⇓

WITHOUT A NET THIS TIME.

#501

⇓

WELL, I SURE DO HOPE THAT MR. CHENG RALLIES FOR YOU

#502

⇓

WELL, I SURE DO HOPE THAT MR. CHENG RALLIES FOR YOU

#503

⇓

BECAUSE IF HE DOESN'T, SURE SHOOTIN'

#504

⇓

YOU'RE GONNA BE HEARING BOB KELSO'S VOICE SAYING,

#505

⇓

YOU'RE GONNA BE HEARING BOB KELSO'S VOICE SAYING,

#506

⇓

(IMITATING KELSO) "SWEETHEART, I TOLD YOU SO"

#507

⇓

FROM NOW UNTIL YOU'RE 2 INCHES SHORTER

#508

⇓

FROM NOW UNTIL YOU'RE 2 INCHES SHORTER

#509

⇓

AND DRIVING AROUND FLORIDA

#510

⇓

WITH YOUR LEFT-HAND BLINKER ON.

#511

⇓

OH, NOW IT'S TIME TO RUIN THE GAME.

#512

⇓

OH, NOW IT'S TIME TO RUIN THE GAME.

#513

⇓

COME WITH ME TO THE WINDOW.

#514

⇓

WHY? WHAT, DO YOU HAVE SOME ELABORATE PLAN?

#515

⇓

WHY? WHAT, DO YOU HAVE SOME ELABORATE PLAN?

#516

⇓

I DO, AS A MATTER OF FACT.

#517

⇓

I CONVINCED EVERYBODY IN THIS HOSPITAL

#518

⇓

I CONVINCED EVERYBODY IN THIS HOSPITAL

#519

⇓

THAT'S AFRAID OF ME TO GO OUTSIDE

#520

⇓

AND SPELL OUT THE SCORE OF THE GAME.

#521

⇓

REALLY? NO, YOU IDIOT.

#522

⇓

REALLY? NO, YOU IDIOT.

#523

⇓

I'M JUST GONNA TELL YOU THE SCORE OF THE GAME,

#524

⇓

MAYBE KNOCK YOUR HEAD AGAINST THE GLASS.

#525

⇓

MAYBE KNOCK YOUR HEAD AGAINST THE GLASS.

#526

⇓

LOOK, I WAS WAY OUT OF LINE TELLING YOU HOW THAT MOVIE ENDED,

#527

⇓

LOOK, I WAS WAY OUT OF LINE TELLING YOU HOW THAT MOVIE ENDED,

#528

⇓

BUT, GOD SAVE ME, WATCHING SPORTS

#529

⇓

IS ONE OF THE LAST PURE PLEASURES I HAVE LEFT IN MY LIFE,

#530

⇓

IS ONE OF THE LAST PURE PLEASURES I HAVE LEFT IN MY LIFE,

#531

⇓

SO YOU TELL ME WHAT'S IT GONNA TAKE

#532

⇓

SO YOU TELL ME WHAT'S IT GONNA TAKE

#533

⇓

FOR YOU TO LET ME GO HOME, SIT IN MY MASSAGE CHAIR,

#534

⇓

AND ENJOY THE GAME?

#535

⇓

AND ENJOY THE GAME?

#536

⇓

I WOULD LIKE TO PERFORM OPEN HEART SURGERY.

#537

⇓

I WOULD LIKE TO PERFORM OPEN HEART SURGERY.

#538

⇓

NO.

#539

⇓

HOW ABOUT YOU PERFORM SURGERY ON ME

#540

⇓

HOW ABOUT YOU PERFORM SURGERY ON ME

#541

⇓

SO THAT I CAN BREATHE UNDERWATER? NO.

#542

⇓

I WOULD LIKE A SHARK THAT CAN READ MINDS.

#543

⇓

I WOULD LIKE A SHARK THAT CAN READ MINDS.

#544

⇓

YOU AND I TRADE LIVES FOR A YEAR.

#545

⇓

YOU AND I TRADE LIVES FOR A YEAR.

#546

⇓

HOW ABOUT A HOME-COOKED MEAL

#547

⇓

AND AN HOUR IN THE MASSAGE CHAIR?

#548

⇓

DONE. DONE.

#549

⇓

DONE. DONE.

#550

⇓

HEY, GUYS, IT'S OFF.

#551

⇓

WOW! YOU GUYS ARE ORGANIZED.

#552

⇓

WOW! YOU GUYS ARE ORGANIZED.

#553

⇓

HEY, DID YOU CATCH THAT LAKERS-HEAT GAME?

#554

⇓

5 SECONDS LEFT--

#555

⇓

(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)

#556

⇓

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU MAKE $300 IN TIPS A NIGHT.

#557

⇓

MM-HMM. THIS IS WHY DOCTORS SHOULD HAVE TIP JARS.

#558

⇓

MM-HMM. THIS IS WHY DOCTORS SHOULD HAVE TIP JARS.

#559

⇓

I MEAN, I MAKE 3 BUCKS FOR SERVING A MARTINI.

#560

⇓

I MEAN, I MAKE 3 BUCKS FOR SERVING A MARTINI.

#561

⇓

YOU PUT YOUR LIPS ON THE MOUTH OF A SLOBBERING DEAD GUY

#562

⇓

AND BRING HIM BACK TO LIFE.

#563

⇓

THAT'S GOTTA BE WORTH AT LEAST A 5 SPOT.

#564

⇓

THAT'S GOTTA BE WORTH AT LEAST A 5 SPOT.

#565

⇓

(BOTH LAUGH)

#566

⇓

(BOTH LAUGH)

#567

⇓

I SHOULD BE GETTING BACK TO JAMES.

#568

⇓

I SHOULD BE GETTING BACK TO JAMES.

#569

⇓

THERE'S NO RUSH. A NURSE IS UP THERE

#570

⇓

RIGHT NOW GETTING SOME BLOOD FROM HIM.

#571

⇓

RIGHT NOW GETTING SOME BLOOD FROM HIM.

#572

⇓

AAH! I'M SORRY!

#573

⇓

IT'S NEVER TAKEN ME 12 POKES TO FIND A VEIN.

#574

⇓

IT'S NEVER TAKEN ME 12 POKES TO FIND A VEIN.

#575

⇓

HA HA! UNH!

#576

⇓

GOT IT! WHEE!

#577

⇓

GOT IT! WHEE!

#578

⇓

UGH! I SHOULD'VE BROUGHT MY LAPTOP.

#579

⇓

I COULD'VE GOTTEN SO MUCH WORK DONE.

#580

⇓

I COULD'VE GOTTEN SO MUCH WORK DONE.

#581

⇓

YOU CAN BARTEND ON-LINE?

#582

⇓

I JUST WORK AT THE CLUB TO PAY FOR GRAD SCHOOL.

#583

⇓

I JUST WORK AT THE CLUB TO PAY FOR GRAD SCHOOL.

#584

⇓

I'M GETTING MY MASTERS IN POLITICAL SCIENCE.

#585

⇓

I LOVE POLITICS! ASK ME ANYTHING.

#586

⇓

I LOVE POLITICS! ASK ME ANYTHING.

#587

⇓

(THINKING) WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

#588

⇓

YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT POLITICS!

#589

⇓

YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT POLITICS!

#590

⇓

YOU'RE SCREWED UNLESS SHE ASKS ABOUT BUSH

#591

⇓

OR THE BALD ASSISTANT PRESIDENT WHO HAS ALL THOSE HEART ATTACKS.

#592

⇓

OR THE BALD ASSISTANT PRESIDENT WHO HAS ALL THOSE HEART ATTACKS.

#593

⇓

DID YOU KNOW ONLY 17% OF PEOPLE

#594

⇓

UNDER THE AGE OF 25 VOTED LAST YEAR?

#595

⇓

UNDER THE AGE OF 25 VOTED LAST YEAR?

#596

⇓

YOU CAN VOTE IF YOU'RE UNDER 25?

#597

⇓

YOU CAN VOTE IF YOU'RE UNDER 25?

#598

⇓

HA HA HA!

#599

⇓

(THINKING) THE ONLY THING YOU CAN TAKE SOLACE IN

#600

⇓

IS THAT A GIRL LIKE HER WOULD PROBABLY

#601

⇓

IS THAT A GIRL LIKE HER WOULD PROBABLY

#602

⇓

NEVER BE INTERESTED IN YOU ANYWAY.

#603

⇓

I CAN'T BELIEVE A CUTE GUY LIKE YOU DOESN'T HAVE A GIRLFRIEND.

#604

⇓

I CAN'T BELIEVE A CUTE GUY LIKE YOU DOESN'T HAVE A GIRLFRIEND.

#605

⇓

IF I WAS SINGLE, I'D TOTALLY SNATCH YOU UP.

#606

⇓

WOULD YOU LIKE TO PLAY A GAME OF HANGMAN?

#607

⇓

WOULD YOU LIKE TO PLAY A GAME OF HANGMAN?

#608

⇓

J.D.: AS I SAT THERE LETTING MY INTERNS

#609

⇓

I WONDERED IF THERE

#610

⇓

I WONDERED IF THERE

#611

⇓

WHERE ANOTHER J.D. AND ANOTHER KYLIE COULD BE TOGETHER

#612

⇓

BECAUSE THERE'S NO HIPPOCRATIC OATH ON PLANET GLORNACK 7.

#613

⇓

BECAUSE THERE'S NO HIPPOCRATIC OATH ON PLANET GLORNACK 7.

#614

⇓

ARE YOU ON GLORNACK 7?

#615

⇓

ARE YOU ON GLORNACK 7?

#616

⇓

WHY ARE YOU SO HAPPY?

#617

⇓

I JUST DID AN EXCHANGE TRANSFUSION

#618

⇓

ON MY MALARIA PATIENT IN THERE,

#619

⇓

ON MY MALARIA PATIENT IN THERE,

#620

⇓

AND HE JUST WOKE UP FROM HIS COMA.

#621

⇓

WELL, HE WOKE UP TO A WORLD OF BAD BOYFRIENDS,

#622

⇓

WELL, HE WOKE UP TO A WORLD OF BAD BOYFRIENDS,

#623

⇓

OATHS, AND GONORRHEA.

#624

⇓

HE SURE DID, AND YOU KNOW WHY?

#625

⇓

HE SURE DID, AND YOU KNOW WHY?

#626

⇓

BECAUSE I BROKE THE RULES

#627

⇓

AND IGNORED WHAT DR. KELSO WANTED ME TO DO.

#628

⇓

AND IGNORED WHAT DR. KELSO WANTED ME TO DO.

#629

⇓

J.D.: SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BREAK THE RULES,

#630

⇓

AND ELLIOT'S PATIENT WAKING UP

#631

⇓

AND ELLIOT'S PATIENT WAKING UP

#632

⇓

WAS A CLEAR SIGN THAT YOU COULDN'T DENY.

#633

⇓

MR. CHENG IS CRASHING.

#634

⇓

MR. CHENG IS CRASHING.

#635

⇓

(THINKING) SIGNS BE DAMNED! I'M TELLING HER.

#636

⇓

(THINKING) SIGNS BE DAMNED! I'M TELLING HER.

#637

⇓

KYLIE! KYLIE!

#638

⇓

UNH!

#639

⇓

UNH!

#640

⇓

DUDE, YOU CAN'T TELL HER! THEY WON'T LET YOU BE A DOCTOR ANYMORE!

#641

⇓

DUDE, YOU CAN'T TELL HER! THEY WON'T LET YOU BE A DOCTOR ANYMORE!

#642

⇓

WHO CARES? I'D MAKE MORE MONEY BARTENDING!

#643

⇓

TURK, IF WE LEAVE RIGHT NOW, I MIGHT ACTUALLY

#644

⇓

TURK, IF WE LEAVE RIGHT NOW, I MIGHT ACTUALLY

#645

⇓

BE AWAKE FOR SEX TONIGHT. JUST GO GET MY COAT.

#646

⇓

YOU OWE ME.

#647

⇓

YOU OWE ME.

#648

⇓

BABY, SO I DIDN'T KNOW WHICH ONE WAS YOURS,

#649

⇓

BABY, SO I DIDN'T KNOW WHICH ONE WAS YOURS,

#650

⇓

SO I GRABBED ALL OF THEM.

#651

⇓

JUST GIVE ME A SECOND, OK? I NEED TO TALK TO ELLIOT,

#652

⇓

JUST GIVE ME A SECOND, OK? I NEED TO TALK TO ELLIOT,

#653

⇓

AND THEN I GOTTA CLOCK OUT.

#654

⇓

AND THEN WE HAVE SEX? THEN WE HAVE SEX, OK.

#655

⇓

AND THEN WE HAVE SEX? THEN WE HAVE SEX, OK.

#656

⇓

ELLIOT: I REALLY THOUGHT HE HAD A CHANCE.

#657

⇓

ELLIOT: I REALLY THOUGHT HE HAD A CHANCE.

#658

⇓

WELL, THE FAMILY'S DOWNSTAIRS

#659

⇓

WELL, THE FAMILY'S DOWNSTAIRS

#660

⇓

WHENEVER YOU'RE READY TO TALK TO THEM.

#661

⇓

GO AHEAD. CALL ME SWEETHEART AND TELL ME

#662

⇓

GO AHEAD. CALL ME SWEETHEART AND TELL ME

#663

⇓

I'M A PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A DOCTOR.

#664

⇓

YOU MADE A BOLD DECISION AND IT BIT YOU IN THE KEISTER.

#665

⇓

YOU MADE A BOLD DECISION AND IT BIT YOU IN THE KEISTER.

#666

⇓

YEAH.

#667

⇓

YEAH.

#668

⇓

I DON'T LIKE PEOPLE DISAGREEING WITH ME.

#669

⇓

I DON'T LIKE PEOPLE DISAGREEING WITH ME.

#670

⇓

THERE'S NOT ANOTHER RESIDENT HERE WHO HAS THE GUTS TO DO IT.

#671

⇓

THERE'S NOT ANOTHER RESIDENT HERE WHO HAS THE GUTS TO DO IT.

#672

⇓

I JUST FEEL SO GUILTY ABOUT MR. CHENG.

#673

⇓

COULD YOU AT LEAST JUST MAKE FUN OF MY BANGS OR SOMETHING?

#674

⇓

COULD YOU AT LEAST JUST MAKE FUN OF MY BANGS OR SOMETHING?

#675

⇓

DR. REID, TAKE IT FROM A COLLEAGUE--

#676

⇓

DR. REID, TAKE IT FROM A COLLEAGUE--

#677

⇓

TELLING THAT FAMILY WHAT HAPPENED AFTER GETTING THEIR HOPES UP

#678

⇓

IS GOING TO BE FAR WORSE THAN ANY SHOT I CAN TAKE

#679

⇓

IS GOING TO BE FAR WORSE THAN ANY SHOT I CAN TAKE

#680

⇓

AT THAT JOHN DENVER HAIRCUT YOU'RE SPORTING.

#681

⇓

AT THAT JOHN DENVER HAIRCUT YOU'RE SPORTING.

#682

⇓

DID--DID YOU JUST CALL ME A COLLEAGUE?

#683

⇓

DID--DID YOU JUST CALL ME A COLLEAGUE?

#684

⇓

I DID. BUT I HATE MY COLLEAGUES.

#685

⇓

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?

#686

⇓

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?

#687

⇓

I GET TO HAVE SEX.

#688

⇓

I HATE THIS PLACE.

#689

⇓

I GET TO HAVE SEX TONIGHT!

#690

⇓

I GET TO HAVE SEX TONIGHT!

#691

⇓

HEY, KYLIE, THERE YOU ARE.

#692

⇓

HEY, J.D.

#693

⇓

HEY, J.D.

#694

⇓

(THINKING) THIS IS YOUR MOMENT! GRAB IT!

#695

⇓

LISTEN, KYLIE--OUT LOUD, YOU IDIOT! OUT LOUD!

#696

⇓

LISTEN, KYLIE--OUT LOUD, YOU IDIOT! OUT LOUD!

#697

⇓

I WANTED TO THANK YOU FOR BEING SUCH A GREAT DOCTOR.

#698

⇓

I WANTED TO THANK YOU FOR BEING SUCH A GREAT DOCTOR.

#699

⇓

(THINKING) AND THERE IT WAS. GREAT DOCTORS DON'T BREAK OATHS.

#700

⇓

(THINKING) AND THERE IT WAS. GREAT DOCTORS DON'T BREAK OATHS.

#701

⇓

(CAR HORN HONKS)

#702

⇓

(CAR HORN HONKS)

#703

⇓

THANKS AGAIN FOR EVERYTHING.

#704

⇓

J.D.: SOMEONE ONCE SAID THE BAD GUYS ALWAYS WIN.

#705

⇓

J.D.: SOMEONE ONCE SAID THE BAD GUYS ALWAYS WIN.

#706

⇓

SOMETIMES THE BAD GUY IS A JERK BOYFRIEND.

#707

⇓

(MUSIC PLAYING ON TV)

#708

⇓

(MUSIC PLAYING ON TV)

#709

⇓

TV ANNOUNCER: IT'S FINALLY HERE--

#710

⇓

THE LONG-AWAITED SHOWDOWN BETWEEN SHAQ AND KOBE.

#711

⇓

THE LONG-AWAITED SHOWDOWN BETWEEN SHAQ AND KOBE.

#712

⇓

J.D.: SOMETIMES THE BAD GUY IS THE MAN YOU'VE BEEN BATTLING WITH

#713

⇓

J.D.: SOMETIMES THE BAD GUY IS THE MAN YOU'VE BEEN BATTLING WITH

#714

⇓

FOR AS LONG AS YOU CAN REMEMBER.

#715

⇓

HEY, PERRY! 98-97 LAKERS.

#716

⇓

HEY, PERRY! 98-97 LAKERS.

#717

⇓

KOBE DUNKED OVER SHAQ FOR THE GAME WINNER.

#718

⇓

DON'T EVER MESS WITH MY TREADMILL.

#719

⇓

DON'T EVER MESS WITH MY TREADMILL.

#720

⇓

IS THIS HOMEMADE GRAVY?

#721

⇓

MMM! HEH!

#722

⇓

MMM! HEH!

#723

⇓

J.D.: AND SOMETIMES THE BAD GUY IS A DISEASE

#724

⇓

J.D.: AND SOMETIMES THE BAD GUY IS A DISEASE

#725

⇓

THAT YOU DIDN'T STAND A CHANCE AGAINST.

#726

⇓

(SOBBING) BUT YOU SAID HE COULD GET BETTER.

#727

⇓

(SOBBING) BUT YOU SAID HE COULD GET BETTER.

#728

⇓

I'M SO SORRY.

#729

⇓

I'M SO SORRY.

#730

⇓

J.D.: I GUESS ALL YOU CAN DO IS COME BACK TO WORK THE NEXT MORNING

#731

⇓

J.D.: I GUESS ALL YOU CAN DO IS COME BACK TO WORK THE NEXT MORNING

#732

⇓

AND HOPE THAT BEING A GOOD GUY PAYS OFF.

#733

⇓

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

#734

⇓

HEH. MY GIRLFRIEND TAMYRA FROM THE CLUB,

#735

⇓

HEH. MY GIRLFRIEND TAMYRA FROM THE CLUB,

#736

⇓

SHE'S ALSO FEELING A LITTLE SICK,

#737

⇓

AND YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHAT SHE HAS.

#738

⇓

AND YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHAT SHE HAS.

#739

⇓

GONORRHEA!

#740

⇓

I MEAN...GONORRHEA.

#741

⇓

I MEAN...GONORRHEA.

#742

⇓

KYLIE, I WANTED TO TELL YOU SO BADLY,

#743

⇓

BUT, YOU KNOW, IT'S AGAINST THE RULES.

#744

⇓

YOU CAN TELL ME NOW.

#745

⇓

YOU CAN TELL ME NOW.

#746

⇓

YOUR BOYFRIEND'S A JERK.

#747

⇓

HE'S NOT MY BOYFRIEND.

#748

⇓

HE'S NOT MY BOYFRIEND.

#749

⇓