♥ Saved GIFs

Loading…

View all favorites →

Home » Scrubs » S04E14 — My Lucky Charm

Scrubs

Season 4, Episode 14 — My Lucky Charm

TMDB episode metadata

Show: Scrubs

Episode title: My Lucky Charm

Air date: January 25, 2005

Director: Chris Koch

Top billed cast: Zach Braff, Donald Faison, John C. McGinley, Sarah Chalke, Judy Reyes, Ken Jenkins

A man injured in a bar fight teaches Turk and J.D. a lesson about living life to the fullest.

Source: TMDB

↓

J.D.: BEING A GREAT DOCTOR ISN'T JUST ABOUT MEDICAL KNOWLEDGE.

doctor knowledge medical

↓

IT'S ALSO ABOUT PEOPLE SKILLS.

skills

↓

IT'S ALSO ABOUT PEOPLE SKILLS.

skills

↓

WOW. THAT IS THE WORST BROKEN NOSE I HAVE EVER SEEN.

broken nose seen worst

↓

WOW. THAT IS THE WORST BROKEN NOSE I HAVE EVER SEEN.

broken nose seen worst

↓

I'M HERE BECAUSE I STEPPED ON A NAIL.

nail stepped

↓

OF COURSE.

course

↓

(THINKING) WERE YOU WALKING ON YOUR NOSE?

nose thinking walking

↓

(THINKING) WERE YOU WALKING ON YOUR NOSE?

nose thinking walking

↓

UNFORTUNATELY, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO WAIT

unfortunately

↓

A LITTLE BIT LONGER, OK? 'CAUSE WE ADMIT PEOPLE

admit longer

↓

A LITTLE BIT LONGER, OK? 'CAUSE WE ADMIT PEOPLE

admit longer

↓

BY SEVERITY OF CONDITION.

condition severity

↓

THAT WAS MORTIFYING.

↓

THAT WAS MORTIFYING.

↓

AAH! MY FACE!

face

↓

AAH! MY FACE!

face

↓

YOU KNOW, WITH THE FACE BURNS,

burns face

↓

WE COULD PROBABLY ADMIT YOU NOW.

admit

↓

LAVERNE?

laverne

↓

LAVERNE?

laverne

↓

(CRYING)

crying

↓

AAH!

↓

AND, TOO, YOU KNOW, FRIDAY NIGHT,

friday friday-night night

↓

THERE'S A CHAMBER ORCHESTRA PLAYING IN THE COURTYARD OF THE MUSEUM.

chamber courtyard museum orchestra playing

↓

THERE'S A CHAMBER ORCHESTRA PLAYING IN THE COURTYARD OF THE MUSEUM.

chamber courtyard museum orchestra playing

↓

I WOULD LOVE THAT. YOU WANNA GO?

love

↓

MY GOD, I LOVE PACHELBEL.

love

↓

J.D.: CARLA AND ELLIOT

carla elliot

↓

J.D.: CARLA AND ELLIOT

carla elliot

↓

WERE GOING THROUGH THEIR WEEKLY RITUAL

ritual weekly

↓

OF MAKING PLANS THEY WERE NEVER GOING TO KEEP.

plans

↓

WE SHOULD HAVE DINNER BEFOREHAND. PERFECT.

beforehand dinner perfect

↓

WE SHOULD HAVE DINNER BEFOREHAND. PERFECT.

beforehand dinner perfect

↓

J.D.: AND SINCE TURK KNEW THESE WERE FAKE PLANS,

fake plans turk

↓

HE USED THE OPPORTUNITY TO SCORE BONUS POINTS WITH HIS WIFE.

bonus opportunity points score used wife

↓

HE USED THE OPPORTUNITY TO SCORE BONUS POINTS WITH HIS WIFE.

bonus opportunity points score used wife

↓

CLASSIC HUSBANDING.

classic

↓

CLASSIC HUSBANDING.

classic

↓

HEY, BABY. YOU KNOW WHAT? FORGET DINNER.

baby dinner forget

↓

I'LL MAKE YOU A HOMEMADE PICNIC BASKET.

basket homemade picnic

↓

I'LL MAKE YOU A HOMEMADE PICNIC BASKET.

basket homemade picnic

↓

OHH.

↓

I MARRIED AN AMAZING MAN.

amazing married

↓

YOU SURE DID. YOU KNOW WHAT? I'VE GOT AN EVEN BETTER IDEA.

idea

↓

YOU SURE DID. YOU KNOW WHAT? I'VE GOT AN EVEN BETTER IDEA.

idea

↓

MAYBE J.D. AND I COULD BOTH COME, RIGHT?

↓

MAYBE J.D. AND I COULD BOTH COME, RIGHT?

↓

WE'LL WEAR SPORT COATS AND YOU GUYS, BEAUTIFUL DRESSES.

coats dresses sport wear

↓

WE'LL WEAR SPORT COATS AND YOU GUYS, BEAUTIFUL DRESSES.

coats dresses sport wear

↓

OH, MY GOD, I LOVE THAT IDEA.

idea love

↓

I LOVE IT. I LOVE IT. IT'S AWESOME. IT'S AWESOME.

awesome love

↓

I LOVE IT. I LOVE IT. IT'S AWESOME. IT'S AWESOME.

awesome love

↓

(WHOOPING)

whooping

↓

J.D.: TO BE PERFECTLY HONEST, SO DID I.

honest perfectly perfectly-honest

↓

I NEVER GET AN OPPORTUNITY

opportunity

↓

TO WEAR MY HOUNDS-TOOTH SPORTS COAT.

coat hounds sports sports-coat tooth wear

↓

UNLIKE ELLIOT AND CARLA,

carla elliot unlike

↓

WHEN TURK AND I MADE PLANS, WE KEPT THEM.

plans turk

↓

IT'S 10:00. YOU READY?

ready

↓

IT'S 10:00. YOU READY?

ready

↓

LET'S DO IT.

↓

J.D.: BUT LATELY FOR US,

lately

↓

OUR PLANS RARELY INVOLVED LEAVING THE APARTMENT.

apartment involved leaving plans rarely

↓

OUR PLANS RARELY INVOLVED LEAVING THE APARTMENT.

apartment involved leaving plans rarely

↓

I WASN'T TOO EXCITED ABOUT TAKING OVER THIS SPOT

excited spot

↓

I WASN'T TOO EXCITED ABOUT TAKING OVER THIS SPOT

excited spot

↓

AFTER YOU SAT IN IT FOR 20 MINUTES.

minutes

↓

BUT I GOTTA TELL YA, IT'S WARM IN ALL THE RIGHT PLACES.

places warm

↓

BUT I GOTTA TELL YA, IT'S WARM IN ALL THE RIGHT PLACES.

places warm

↓

(THINKING) MM-HMM.

thinking

↓

HOW DO YOU LIKE WHAT I LEFT YOU OVER THERE?

left

↓

HOW DO YOU LIKE WHAT I LEFT YOU OVER THERE?

left

↓

AW, MAN, YOUR ASS INDENTATION IS SO DEEP.

deep

↓

IT'S LIKE I'M SITTING IN A GIANT INNER TUBE.

giant inner sitting tube

↓

IT'S LIKE I'M SITTING IN A GIANT INNER TUBE.

giant inner sitting tube

↓

J.D.: AS TURK AND I RECUPERATED FROM OUR BIG CHAIR SWAP,

chair swap turk

↓

I WONDERED WHAT OTHER COUPLES WERE DOING TONIGHT.

couples tonight wondered

↓

I WONDERED WHAT OTHER COUPLES WERE DOING TONIGHT.

couples tonight wondered

↓

DID I JUST REFER TO TURK AND I AS A COUPLE?

couple refer turk

↓

DID I JUST REFER TO TURK AND I AS A COUPLE?

couple refer turk

↓

MY POINT IS, I'M SURE OTHER COUPLES WERE OUT HAVING FUN.

couples fun having point

↓

YOU LOOK SO HOT.

↓

WHEN'S THE LAST TIME WE KISSED?

kissed whens

↓

WHEN'S THE LAST TIME WE KISSED?

kissed whens

↓

ABOUT A MONTH AGO.

month

↓

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME WE HAD SEX?

↓

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME WE HAD SEX?

↓

YESTERDAY. WHAT DO YOU SAY

yesterday

↓

WE HEAD INTO THE BATHROOM OF THIS PLACE

bathroom head place

↓

AND LOWER THE HEALTH CODE RATING FROM AN "A" TO A "B"?

code health lower rating

↓

WHAT DO YOU SAY?

↓

WHAT DO YOU SAY?

↓

J.D.: I GUESS SOME PEOPLE FIGURE,

figure

↓

WHAT'S THE WORST THAT CAN HAPPEN?

happen worst

↓

WELL?

↓

IT'S BLUE.

blue

↓

I'M NOT PREGNANT.

pregnant

↓

I'M NOT PREGNANT.

pregnant

↓

OH...

↓

YOU KNOW WHAT'S WEIRD? I'M RELIEVED.

relieved weird

↓

YOU KNOW WHAT'S WEIRD? I'M RELIEVED.

relieved weird

↓

I JUST FEEL KIND OF SAD BECAUSE I THINK ABOUT HOW BEAUTIFUL OUR SON IS,

↓

I JUST FEEL KIND OF SAD BECAUSE I THINK ABOUT HOW BEAUTIFUL OUR SON IS,

↓

AND I KIND OF WISH IT HAD GONE THE OTHER WAY.

gone wish

↓

YOU KNOW?

↓

YOU KNOW?

↓

SWEETIE?

sweetie

↓

SHE'S NOT PREGNANT!

pregnant

↓

IT CAME OUT BLUE! IT'S BLUE!

blue

↓

IT CAME OUT BLUE! IT'S BLUE!

blue

↓

SHE'S NOT PREGNANT!

pregnant

↓

SHE'S NOT PREGNANT!

pregnant

↓

IT'S BLUE!

blue

↓

IT CAME OUT BLUE!

blue

↓

IT CAME OUT BLUE!

blue

↓

# I CAN'T DO THIS ALL ON MY OWN, NO, I KNOW #

↓

# I CAN'T DO THIS ALL ON MY OWN, NO, I KNOW #

↓

# I'M NO SUPERMAN #

superman

↓

# I'M NO SUPERMAN #

superman

↓

THE EPI ISN'T WORKING.

working

↓

I STILL DON'T HAVE A RHYTHM.

rhythm

↓

I STILL DON'T HAVE A RHYTHM.

rhythm

↓

TRANSCUTANEOUS PACER ISN'T CAPTURING.

↓

PUPILS ARE FIXED AND DILATED. I'M CALLING IT.

calling dilated fixed pupils

↓

PUPILS ARE FIXED AND DILATED. I'M CALLING IT.

calling dilated fixed pupils

↓

TIME OF DEATH, 9:17.

death

↓

TIME OF DEATH, 9:17.

death

↓

I ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT WHEN I DIED,

died

↓

I'D SEE A BRIGHT LIGHT OR FLOAT ABOVE THE GROUND.

bright float ground light

↓

I'D SEE A BRIGHT LIGHT OR FLOAT ABOVE THE GROUND.

bright float ground light

↓

IT TURNS OUT DEATH IS PRETTY MUNDANE.

death turns

↓

IT TURNS OUT DEATH IS PRETTY MUNDANE.

death turns

↓

I GUESS SOMETIMES THE END IS JUST THE END.

sometimes

↓

FOR THE LAST TIME, JERRY, YOU'RE NOT DEAD, OK?

dead jerry

↓

FOR THE LAST TIME, JERRY, YOU'RE NOT DEAD, OK?

dead jerry

↓

NOW, GO BACK TO YOUR ROOM.

room

↓

JERRY HAS COTARD'S, OR WALKING CORPSE SYNDROME.

corpse jerry syndrome walking

↓

JERRY HAS COTARD'S, OR WALKING CORPSE SYNDROME.

corpse jerry syndrome walking

↓

THE GUY THINKS HE'S DEAD EVEN THOUGH HE'S WALKING AROUND.

dead thinks walking

↓

THE GUY THINKS HE'S DEAD EVEN THOUGH HE'S WALKING AROUND.

dead thinks walking

↓

(THINKING) I THINK I'LL TRY TO ASK TURK SOMETHING TELEPATHICALLY.

thinking turk

↓

HEY, MAN, YOU WANNA DO SOMETHING TONIGHT?

tonight

↓

HEY, MAN, YOU WANNA DO SOMETHING TONIGHT?

tonight

↓

DUDE, YEAH. LET'S HANG OUT AND WATCH SOME TV.

hang watch

↓

WE GOT ANY BEER?

beer

↓

WE GOT ANY BEER?

beer

↓

I THINK I USED THE LAST OF IT TO MAKE OUR SPECIAL PARTY ICE.

party special used

↓

HEY, IF I ACCIDENTALLY PUT BEER CUBES IN MY ORANGE JUICE AGAIN,

accidentally beer cubes juice orange orange-juice

↓

HEY, IF I ACCIDENTALLY PUT BEER CUBES IN MY ORANGE JUICE AGAIN,

accidentally beer cubes juice orange orange-juice

↓

THERE'S GONNA BE TROUBLE.

trouble

↓

I ALMOST GOT A D.U.I. BECAUSE OF YOU GUYS.

↓

I ALMOST GOT A D.U.I. BECAUSE OF YOU GUYS.

↓

DR. MICKHEAD WAS WONDERING

mickhead wondering

↓

IF YOU WOULD COVER HIS PATIENT IN 310.

cover patient

↓

IF YOU WOULD COVER HIS PATIENT IN 310.

cover patient

↓

THE GUY WAS IN SOME BAR FIGHT

fight

↓

AND HAS BEEN UNCONSCIOUS SINCE HE GOT THERE.

unconscious

↓

HE WAS BROUGHT IN BY SOME BROTHER FROM IRELAND.

brother brought ireland

↓

YOU MEAN AN IRISH BROTHER OR AN IRISH BROTHER?

brother irish irish-brother

↓

YOU MEAN AN IRISH BROTHER OR AN IRISH BROTHER?

brother irish irish-brother

↓

TOP OF THE MIZZLE TO YOU, ME LIZZLES.

↓

TOP OF THE MIZZLE TO YOU, ME LIZZLES.

↓

I MEAN HIS SIBLING.

↓

AW, MAN.

↓

AW, MAN.

↓

AND YOU MUST BE THE IRISH BROTHER.

brother irish irish-brother must

↓

NO, SIR. RON PETERSON, OHIO BORN AND BRED.

born bred ohio peterson

↓

NO, SIR. RON PETERSON, OHIO BORN AND BRED.

born bred ohio peterson

↓

YEP. RED-STATER AND PROUD OF IT.

proud

↓

YEP. RED-STATER AND PROUD OF IT.

proud

↓

OH, SORRY. WE--

↓

OH, ONLY TAKING THE PISS OUT OF YA, LADS.

lads piss

↓

OH, ONLY TAKING THE PISS OUT OF YA, LADS.

lads piss

↓

NAME'S BILLY CALLAHAN.

billy callahan names

↓

HAD YOU GOING WITH THE AMERICAN ACCENT, THOUGH, DIDN'T I?

accent american

↓

HAD YOU GOING WITH THE AMERICAN ACCENT, THOUGH, DIDN'T I?

accent american

↓

I'LL JUST PUT IT OUT THERE. DO US A FAVOR.

favor

↓

IS THERE ANY CHANCE I COULD GET ONE OF THESE FILLED WITH GUINNESS?

chance filled

↓

IS THERE ANY CHANCE I COULD GET ONE OF THESE FILLED WITH GUINNESS?

chance filled

↓

I HAVE AN AWFUL HANGOVER. ME HEAD IS SPLITTIN'.

awful hangover head

↓

WE HAD A LATE NIGHT LAST NIGHT AS YOU CAN SEE.

late late-night night

↓

WE HAD A LATE NIGHT LAST NIGHT AS YOU CAN SEE.

late late-night night

↓

AND I'M A BIT SHAKY. IS THERE ANY CHANCE?

chance shaky

↓

PROBABLY NOT. WE DON'T USUALLY DO THAT.

usually

↓

PROBABLY NOT. WE DON'T USUALLY DO THAT.

usually

↓

NO? OK.

↓

CARLA, I'M SO BUMMED.

bummed carla

↓

I CAN'T GO SEE THE CHAMBER ORCHESTRA TONIGHT.

chamber orchestra tonight

↓

I CAN'T GO SEE THE CHAMBER ORCHESTRA TONIGHT.

chamber orchestra tonight

↓

I TOTALLY FORGOT I HAVE MY CANTONESE CLASS.

class forgot

↓

AND I WOULD TOTALLY CALL AND CANCEL,

cancel

↓

AND I WOULD TOTALLY CALL AND CANCEL,

cancel

↓

BUT THE ONLY THING I KNOW HOW TO SAY IS, "I'M ALLERGIC TO PEANUTS."

allergic peanuts

↓

OH, ELLIOT, I WAS REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS.

elliot forward looking looking-forward

↓

OH, ELLIOT, I WAS REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS.

elliot forward looking looking-forward

↓

REALLY? ABOUT 5 SECONDS AGO,

seconds

↓

YOU WERE ALL GIDDY ABOUT GOING HOME

giddy home

↓

YOU WERE ALL GIDDY ABOUT GOING HOME

giddy home

↓

AND TAKING A BATH TONIGHT.

bath tonight

↓

WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO ME?

↓

WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO ME?

↓

NEW THING. I'M BUSTING CHOPS.

busting chops

↓

SO, YOU JUST FORGOT WE EVEN HAD PLANS?

forgot plans

↓

WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL? YOU WERE FLAKING ON THEM ANYWAY.

deal

↓

WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL? YOU WERE FLAKING ON THEM ANYWAY.

deal

↓

I WASN'T. I HAVE MY CANTONESE CLASS.

class

↓

I WASN'T. I HAVE MY CANTONESE CLASS.

class

↓

BUT DO YOU?

↓

DO YOU REALLY?

↓

BUSTING CHOPS.

busting chops

↓

FINE! AT LEAST I REMEMBERED THE PLANS WELL ENOUGH TO FLAKE ON THEM!

flake least plans remembered

↓

OH, YEAH? WELL, IF I KNEW YOU WERE GOING TO FLAKE ON THEM,

flake

↓

OH, YEAH? WELL, IF I KNEW YOU WERE GOING TO FLAKE ON THEM,

flake

↓

I WOULD'VE NEVER MADE PLANS

plans wouldve

↓

TO FORGET IN THE FIRST PLACE, 'CAUSE YOU--

forget place

↓

SHE'S GONE, CARLA. IT'S OVER.

carla gone

↓

SHE'S GONE, CARLA. IT'S OVER.

carla gone

↓

WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN FOR THE LAST FEW DAYS?

days

↓

DEEP SEA FISHING. YOU HATE FISHING.

deep fishing hate

↓

DEEP SEA FISHING. YOU HATE FISHING.

deep fishing hate

↓

WENT WITH MY BUDDIES. YOU DON'T HAVE ANY BUDDIES.

buddies

↓

OH, YEAH? WELL, WE LANDED A 200-POUND WHITE MARLIN OFF THE COAST OF SAN DIEGO.

coast diego landed marlin pound white

↓

OH, YEAH? WELL, WE LANDED A 200-POUND WHITE MARLIN OFF THE COAST OF SAN DIEGO.

coast diego landed marlin pound white

↓

INTERESTING. BECAUSE THAT'S 3,000 MILES

interesting miles

↓

INTERESTING. BECAUSE THAT'S 3,000 MILES

interesting miles

↓

FROM THE NATURAL HABITAT OF THE WHITE MARLIN.

marlin natural white

↓

HMM. WELL, PERHAPS IT HOPPED A TRAIN FROM CAPE COD.

cape hopped perhaps train

↓

HMM. WELL, PERHAPS IT HOPPED A TRAIN FROM CAPE COD.

cape hopped perhaps train

↓

WHY?

↓

I'M BUSTING CHOPS TODAY. YOU CAN ASK ANYBODY.

anybody busting chops today

↓

I'M BUSTING CHOPS TODAY. YOU CAN ASK ANYBODY.

anybody busting chops today

↓

IT'S TRUE.

↓

SEE?

↓

SO WHAT DID YOU REALLY DO,

↓

SO WHAT DID YOU REALLY DO,

↓

AND WHY ARE YOU LIMPING?

limping

↓

HEY, PERRY.

perry

↓

I GOT A VASECTOMY. DO NOT TELL JORDAN.

jordan vasectomy

↓

I GOT A VASECTOMY. DO NOT TELL JORDAN.

jordan vasectomy

↓

WELCOME BACK, FISHERMAN!

fisherman welcome

↓

OH, HONEY, HOW I MISSED YOU.

honey missed

↓

OH, HONEY, HOW I MISSED YOU.

honey missed

↓

MWAH! HI!

mwah

↓

HA HA, HI!

↓

HA HA, HI!

↓

COME ON, BILLY, JUST SAY IT.

billy

↓

FOR THE LAST TIME, LADS, NO.

lads

↓

OH, THEN PERHAPS YOU'RE NOT REALLY IRISH.

irish perhaps

↓

OH, THEN PERHAPS YOU'RE NOT REALLY IRISH.

irish perhaps

↓

FINE!

↓

PINK HEARTS,

hearts pink

↓

YELLOW MOONS,

moons yellow

↓

YELLOW MOONS,

moons yellow

↓

ORANGE STARS,

orange stars

↓

GREEN CLOVERS.

green

↓

BOTH: SEE, I TOLD YOU.

↓

BOTH: SEE, I TOLD YOU.

↓

YEAH, HE'S IRISH.

irish

↓

YEAH, HE IS. YEAH, HE IS.

↓

YEAH, HE IS. YEAH, HE IS.

↓

HOW LONG YOU TWO SEEING EACH OTHER? YOU'RE A GREAT COUPLE.

couple seeing

↓

OH, NO, MAN, WE'RE JUST LIVING TOGETHER.

living

↓

OH, NO, MAN, WE'RE JUST LIVING TOGETHER.

living

↓

NOT LIKE--LIKE

↓

I MEAN LIKE

↓

I MEAN LIKE

↓

HEY, THAT IS A COOL TATTOO, MY BROTHER.

brother cool tattoo

↓

OH, YEAH, GOT THIS WHEN I SNUCK ONTO A PLANE.

plane snuck

↓

OH, YEAH, GOT THIS WHEN I SNUCK ONTO A PLANE.

plane snuck

↓

THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO BELGIUM, ENDED UP IN KENYA.

ended

↓

LONG STORY SHORT, I HUNG OUT WITH THIS TRIBE.

hung short story story-short tribe

↓

LONG STORY SHORT, I HUNG OUT WITH THIS TRIBE.

hung short story story-short tribe

↓

WHEN THE MALES GO THROUGH ADOLESCENCE

males

↓

THEY GET THIS TATTOO.

tattoo

↓

IT MEANS "ALIAS."

↓

IT MEANS "ALIAS."

↓

OH. WHY "ALIAS"?

↓

OH. WHY "ALIAS"?

↓

IT'S THEIR FAVORITE SHOW.

favorite

↓

OHH. OHH.

↓

I'M ONLY KIDDING. I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT MEANS.

kidding

↓

I'M ONLY KIDDING. I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT MEANS.

kidding

↓

...JENNIFER GARNER. OH, YEAH.

garner jennifer

↓

OBVIOUSLY.

obviously

↓

ENOUGH ABOUT ME. WHAT ABOUT YOU LADS?

lads

↓

ENOUGH ABOUT ME. WHAT ABOUT YOU LADS?

lads

↓

YOU KNOW, SAVING LIVES HERE ALL DAY EVERY DAY.

lives saving

↓

OUT AT NIGHT, GIVING IT A LASH, TEARING IT UP.

giving lash night tearing

↓

OUT AT NIGHT, GIVING IT A LASH, TEARING IT UP.

giving lash night tearing

↓

YOU DO GO OUT AT NIGHT, DON'T YOU?

night

↓

DO YOU HAVE ANY 7S?

↓

DO YOU HAVE ANY 7S?

↓

TURK.

turk

↓

WE TEAR IT.

tear

↓

AND SOMETIMES LASH.

lash sometimes

↓

AND SOMETIMES LASH.

lash sometimes

↓

BUT THE HOURS WE WORK, IT'S...

hours

↓

IT'S LESS TEARING AND MORE FOLDING.

folding less tearing

↓

IT'S LESS TEARING AND MORE FOLDING.

folding less tearing

↓

RIGHT. GENTLY FOLDING.

folding gently

↓

LADS, YOU'LL SLEEP ENOUGH WHEN YOU'RE DEAD AND BURIED.

buried dead lads sleep

↓

LADS, YOU'LL SLEEP ENOUGH WHEN YOU'RE DEAD AND BURIED.

buried dead lads sleep

↓

YOU HAVE TO GET OUT IN THE STREETS.

streets

↓

YOU HAVE TO TALK TO A STRANGER.

stranger

↓

DRINK A BEER WITH BREAKFAST.

beer breakfast drink

↓

DRINK A BEER WITH BREAKFAST.

beer breakfast drink

↓

TAKE THE UGLIEST GIRL HOME AT THE PARTY.

girl girl-home home party ugliest

↓

DONE IT! DONE THAT.

↓

DONE IT! DONE THAT.

↓

THAT ONE I'VE DONE.

↓

GO TRAVELING TO TEXAS, YOU KNOW.

texas traveling

↓

GO LINE DANCING WITH SOME MARRIED WOMEN

dancing line married women

↓

GO LINE DANCING WITH SOME MARRIED WOMEN

dancing line married women

↓

THAT WISH THEY WEREN'T MARRIED.

married wish

↓

YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT LIFE WILL PUT IN YOUR LAP

life

↓

WHEN YOU OPEN YOUR ARMS AND EMBRACE IT.

arms embrace open

↓

WHEN YOU OPEN YOUR ARMS AND EMBRACE IT.

arms embrace open

↓

BE SURPRISED WHAT WILL FALL IN YOUR LAP

fall surprised

↓

WHEN YOU OPEN UP AND EMBRACE LIFE.

embrace life open

↓

WHEN YOU OPEN UP AND EMBRACE LIFE.

embrace life open

↓

DUDE. ELLIOT!

elliot

↓

HE SAID MY EYES LOOKED LIKE THE IRISH COUNTRYSIDE AFTER A SOFT RAIN.

eyes irish looked rain soft

↓

HE SAID MY EYES LOOKED LIKE THE IRISH COUNTRYSIDE AFTER A SOFT RAIN.

eyes irish looked rain soft

↓

AHEM.

ahem

↓

I SHOULD GO.

↓

I SHOULD GO.

↓

THAT HAPPENED VERY QUICKLY.

happened quickly

↓

DON'T EVEN SWEAT IT. IT'S ELLIOT.

elliot sweat

↓

DON'T EVEN SWEAT IT. IT'S ELLIOT.

elliot sweat

↓

SHE'S DESPERATE.

desperate

↓

DUDE.

↓

DUDE.

↓

BABY! WHAT?!

baby

↓

WHAT? I WASN'T GONNA DO ANYTHING.

↓

WHAT? I WASN'T GONNA DO ANYTHING.

↓

HE SAID MY HAIR WAS CURLY.

curly hair

↓

YOUR HAIR IS CURLY.

curly hair

↓

YOUR HAIR IS CURLY.

curly hair

↓

BOTH: BABY!

baby

↓

OK.

↓

WHAT DID YOU DO AROUND THE APARTMENT WHILE I WAS GONE?

apartment gone

↓

WHAT DID YOU DO AROUND THE APARTMENT WHILE I WAS GONE?

apartment gone

↓

OH, I TURNED YOUR LITTLE OFFICE INTO MY PAJAMA CLOSET.

closet office pajama turned

↓

OH, I TURNED YOUR LITTLE OFFICE INTO MY PAJAMA CLOSET.

closet office pajama turned

↓

I THREW OUT EVERYTHING IN THE REFRIGERATOR

refrigerator threw

↓

I THREW OUT EVERYTHING IN THE REFRIGERATOR

refrigerator threw

↓

THAT HAD THE WORD "JERKY" OR "WHIZ" ON IT.

jerky whiz word

↓

I GOT RID OF ALL YOUR CLOTHES THAT MAKE YOU LOOK LIKE YOU'RE 20 YEARS OLD.

clothes years

↓

I GOT RID OF ALL YOUR CLOTHES THAT MAKE YOU LOOK LIKE YOU'RE 20 YEARS OLD.

clothes years

↓

DON'T WORRY, I SAVED YOUR HOCKEY JERSEYS,

hockey saved worry

↓

ALTHOUGH I DID MOVE THEM INTO MY NEW PAJAMA CLOSET.

closet pajama

↓

ALTHOUGH I DID MOVE THEM INTO MY NEW PAJAMA CLOSET.

closet pajama

↓

AND FOR SOME REASON NONE OF THE REMOTES WORK ANYMORE.

anymore reason remotes

↓

AND FOR SOME REASON NONE OF THE REMOTES WORK ANYMORE.

anymore reason remotes

↓

AND WHY ARE YOU LIMPING?

limping

↓

FISHING.

fishing

↓

FISHING.

fishing

↓

I'M LIMPING FROM FISHING.

fishing limping

↓

I'M LIMPING FROM FISHING.

fishing limping

↓

I KNOW THAT LIMP.

limp

↓

NO, BOB. BOB, NO.

↓

YOU JUST GOT A VASECTOMY.

vasectomy

↓

YOU JUST GOT A VASECTOMY.

vasectomy

↓

I HAD MINE DONE BACK IN '68.

↓

IRONICALLY, THAT WAS THE SAME YEAR THAT ENID DISCOVERED PASTA

discovered enid pasta

↓

IRONICALLY, THAT WAS THE SAME YEAR THAT ENID DISCOVERED PASTA

discovered enid pasta

↓

AND I DISCOVERED I'M NOT ATTRACTED TO ENORMOUS WOMEN.

attracted discovered enormous women

↓

AND I DISCOVERED I'M NOT ATTRACTED TO ENORMOUS WOMEN.

attracted discovered enormous women

↓

I DIDN'T JUST GET A VASECTOMY.

vasectomy

↓

COME ON, SOLDIER.

soldier

↓

COME ON, SOLDIER.

soldier

↓

IF I HAVE TO FORCE YOU TO DROP YOUR PANTS, I WILL.

drop force pants

↓

IF I HAVE TO FORCE YOU TO DROP YOUR PANTS, I WILL.

drop force pants

↓

SO TELL BOBBO,

bobbo

↓

WAS IT A HARD DECISION FOR THE TWO OF YOU TO MAKE?

decision hard hard-decision

↓

WAS IT A HARD DECISION FOR THE TWO OF YOU TO MAKE?

decision hard hard-decision

↓

SNIP IT, DOC.

snip

↓

SNIP IT, DOC.

snip

↓

SNIP IT HARD.

hard snip

↓

YEAH, WE--WE REALLY STRUGGLED WITH IT.

↓

YEAH, WE--WE REALLY STRUGGLED WITH IT.

↓

YEAH, WE--WE REALLY STRUGGLED WITH IT.

↓

I DON'T REALLY CARE.

care

↓

ALL RIGHT, LOVE.

love

↓

(SIGHS)

sighs

↓

(SIGHS)

sighs

↓

WHY ARE YOU WAVING? YOU'RE MARRIED.

married waving

↓

SO WHAT, MARRIED PEOPLE CAN'T WAVE NOW?

married wave

↓

SO WHAT, MARRIED PEOPLE CAN'T WAVE NOW?

married wave

↓

THEY CAN WAVE LIKE THIS...

wave

↓

BUT YOU CAN'T WAVE

wave

↓

BUT YOU CAN'T WAVE

wave

↓

I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE A WAVING EXPERT.

expert waving

↓

WHAT PLANS OF OURS DID YOU FLAKE ON TO GO TO THAT WAVING SEMINAR?

flake plans seminar waving

↓

WHAT PLANS OF OURS DID YOU FLAKE ON TO GO TO THAT WAVING SEMINAR?

flake plans seminar waving

↓

OH, WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME?

asking

↓

DID YOU FORGET?

forget

↓

DID YOU FORGET?

forget

↓

YOU BIG PLAN-FORGETTER.

plan

↓

BESIDES, I DON'T NEED TO GO TO A WAVING SEMINAR

besides seminar waving

↓

TO KNOW THAT THIS WAVE IS INTERNATIONALLY KNOWN

known wave

↓

TO KNOW THAT THIS WAVE IS INTERNATIONALLY KNOWN

known wave

↓

AS "I AM A MARRIED WOMAN WHOSE SELF-ESTEEM HAS PLUMMETED

esteem married self self-esteem woman

↓

AS "I AM A MARRIED WOMAN WHOSE SELF-ESTEEM HAS PLUMMETED

esteem married self self-esteem woman

↓

"BECAUSE NOBODY LOOKS AT ME ANYMORE,

anymore nobody

↓

SO I'M ACTING LIKE A DESPERATE HUSSY."

acting desperate hussy

↓

SO I'M ACTING LIKE A DESPERATE HUSSY."

acting desperate hussy

↓

OH, SNAP.

snap

↓

DID YOU JUST CALL ME A HUSSY?

hussy

↓

DID YOU JUST CALL ME A HUSSY?

hussy

↓

DESPERATE HUSSY.

desperate hussy

↓

AAH! AAH!

↓

OW! OHH! OHH!

↓

AAH!

↓

AAH!

↓

AAH! (SPEAKING SPANISH)

spanish speaking speaking-spanish

↓

WHOA, WHOA, LADIES! LADIES, STOP!

ladies whoa whoa-whoa

↓

WHOA, WHOA, LADIES! LADIES, STOP!

ladies whoa whoa-whoa

↓

CONTINUE.

continue

↓

AAH! AAH!

↓

AAH! AAH!

↓

SO, BILLY, WE'RE GONNA NEED TO GET

billy

↓

YOUR BROTHER'S INSURANCE INFORMATION.

brothers information insurance

↓

YOUR BROTHER'S INSURANCE INFORMATION.

brothers information insurance

↓

OH, HE'S NOT ME BROTHER.

brother

↓

I ONLY MET THE FELLA LAST NIGHT, GOD BLESS HIM.

bless fella night

↓

I ONLY MET THE FELLA LAST NIGHT, GOD BLESS HIM.

bless fella night

↓

J.D.: IN LIFE, WE OFTEN MAKE ASSUMPTIONS THAT AREN'T TRUE.

assumptions life often

↓

J.D.: IN LIFE, WE OFTEN MAKE ASSUMPTIONS THAT AREN'T TRUE.

assumptions life often

↓

WHETHER IT'S ASSUMING YOU KNOW HOW SOMEONE'S GOING TO REACT...

assuming react someones whether

↓

OK...LET ME HAVE IT.

↓

OK...LET ME HAVE IT.

↓

WHATEVER MAKES YOU HAPPY, SWEETIE.

happy makes sweetie

↓

WHATEVER MAKES YOU HAPPY, SWEETIE.

happy makes sweetie

↓

I'LL SEE YOU AT HOME.

home

↓

I'LL SEE YOU AT HOME.

home

↓

OW! OHH! OHH! AAH!

↓

OW! OHH! OHH! AAH!

↓

J.D.: OR ASSUMING THAT A LITTLE GIRL FROM CONNECTICUT

assuming connecticut girl

↓

WOULD NEVER FIGHT DIRTY.

dirty fight

↓

WOULD NEVER FIGHT DIRTY.

dirty fight

↓

(BOTH SCREAMING)

screaming

↓

I'M GOING IN! UNH!

↓

AAH! OHH!

↓

J.D.: THE CRAZY THING IS,

crazy

↓

MOST ASSUMPTIONS COULD BE AVOIDED

assumptions avoided

↓

IF YOU JUST ASKED A SIMPLE QUESTION IN THE FIRST PLACE.

asked place question simple simple-question

↓

IF YOU JUST ASKED A SIMPLE QUESTION IN THE FIRST PLACE.

asked place question simple simple-question

↓

WELL, IF YOU'RE NOT HIS BROTHER, THEN WHO ARE YOU?

brother

↓

ME? I'M THE BLOKE THAT HIT HIM.

bloke

↓

ME? I'M THE BLOKE THAT HIT HIM.

bloke

↓

BILLY, I'M GONNA HAVE TO ASK YOU TO LEAVE.

billy

↓

BILLY, I'M GONNA HAVE TO ASK YOU TO LEAVE.

billy

↓

LADS, IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.

accident lads

↓

HE THREW THE FIRST PUNCH.

punch threw

↓

HE THREW THE FIRST PUNCH.

punch threw

↓

THEN I HIT HIM, HE SLIPPED, HIT HIS HEAD ON THE BAR.

head slipped

↓

NOW, LISTEN, WHERE I COME FROM,

↓

NOW, LISTEN, WHERE I COME FROM,

↓

YOU KNOCK SOMEONE UNCONSCIOUS,

knock unconscious

↓

YOU STAY AROUND, YOU MAKE SURE THEY'RE OK.

↓

YOU STAY AROUND, YOU MAKE SURE THEY'RE OK.

↓

RIGHT? SO GUESS WHAT?

↓

I WON'T BE LEAVING.

leaving

↓

WELL, THEN YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO DEAL WITH ME AND MY PARTNER.

deal partner

↓

WELL, THEN YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO DEAL WITH ME AND MY PARTNER.

deal partner

↓

I MEAN, LIKE MY PARTNER,

partner

↓

NOT LIKE MY PARTNER.

partner

↓

NOT LIKE MY PARTNER.

partner

↓

CAN I TALK TO YOU OUTSIDE FOR A SECOND?

second

↓

CAN I TALK TO YOU OUTSIDE FOR A SECOND?

second

↓

HOW YOU DOING?

↓

HOW YOU DOING?

↓

NOT GREAT, ACTUALLY.

↓

I'M DEAD.

dead

↓

BUMMER.

bummer

↓

BUMMER.

bummer

↓

HOW LONG?

↓

4 YEARS NEXT MONTH.

month years

↓

JEEZ, THAT'S A NIGHTMARE.

jeez nightmare

↓

JEEZ, THAT'S A NIGHTMARE.

jeez nightmare

↓

I WAS DEAD ONCE... FOR ABOUT 10 MINUTES.

dead minutes

↓

THEN ME MATE DANNY PEED ON ME HEAD.

danny head mate peed

↓

THEN ME MATE DANNY PEED ON ME HEAD.

danny head mate peed

↓

REALLY?

↓

IT'S QUITE A SIGHT TO WAKE UP TO, THOUGH.

sight wake

↓

IT'S QUITE A SIGHT TO WAKE UP TO, THOUGH.

sight wake

↓

HEARD YOU GUYS WERE FIGHTING.

fighting heard

↓

WE MADE UP.

↓

WE MADE UP.

↓

NO, THEY DIDN'T.

↓

CHOP-BUSTING...

busting chop

↓

CHOP-BUSTING...

busting chop

↓

AND DOC-DUSTING.

↓

WELL, ELLIOT, YOU DON'T LOOK TOO BANGED UP ABOUT IT.

banged elliot

↓

WELL, ELLIOT, YOU DON'T LOOK TOO BANGED UP ABOUT IT.

banged elliot

↓

YOU GOT YOUR ARM AROUND CARLA.

carla

↓

MY HAND IS STUCK IN THIS RAT'S NEST THAT SHE CALLS HAIR.

calls hair hand nest rats stuck

↓

MY HAND IS STUCK IN THIS RAT'S NEST THAT SHE CALLS HAIR.

calls hair hand nest rats stuck

↓

DYE-JOB. GOT IT.

↓

BUT, CHOPSTICK, YOU GONNA HAVE TO BUY A NEW WATCH.

watch

↓

BUT, CHOPSTICK, YOU GONNA HAVE TO BUY A NEW WATCH.

watch

↓

AND, CARLA, YOU MAY WANT TO BORROW SOME OF MY SPRAY-ON HAIR.

borrow carla hair spray

↓

BABY!

baby

↓

NO, DUDE, FORGET THEM.

forget

↓

WE HAVE TO DEAL WITH BILLY.

billy deal

↓

WE HAVE TO DEAL WITH BILLY.

billy deal

↓

NOW, SHOULD WE CALL THE COPS ON THIS GUY OR WHAT?

cops

↓

I DON'T KNOW, MAN. HE SEEMS COOL.

cool seems

↓

I DON'T KNOW, MAN. HE SEEMS COOL.

cool seems

↓

HE PUT A GUY IN THE HOSPITAL. THAT'S A FELONY.

felony hospital

↓

AND AS DOCTORS, WE'RE SUPPOSED TO REPORT HIM.

doctors report supposed

↓

AND AS DOCTORS, WE'RE SUPPOSED TO REPORT HIM.

doctors report supposed

↓

ARE YOU TRYING TO CONVINCE ME

convince

↓

TO DO SOMETHING THAT YOU ALREADY DID?

↓

'CAUSE YOU KNOW THAT DRIVES ME CRAZY.

crazy drives

↓

'CAUSE YOU KNOW THAT DRIVES ME CRAZY.

crazy drives

↓

THIS IS A DECISION WE BOTH NEED TO MAKE,

decision

↓

TOGETHER, AS A TEAM, AS A UNIT.

team unit

↓

TOGETHER, AS A TEAM, AS A UNIT.

team unit

↓

ALL RIGHT, FINE, LET'S CALL THE COPS.

cops

↓

ALL RIGHT, FINE, LET'S CALL THE COPS.

cops

↓

THANK GOD.

↓

HELLO, GENTLEMEN.

gentlemen

↓

WE GOT A CALL ABOUT A FELONY FROM A DR. TURK.

felony turk

↓

WE GOT A CALL ABOUT A FELONY FROM A DR. TURK.

felony turk

↓

"TURK" IS EASIER TO HEAR OVER THE PHONE.

easier phone turk

↓

"TURK" IS EASIER TO HEAR OVER THE PHONE.

easier phone turk

↓

J.D.: "DORIAN" ISN'T HARD TO HEAR OVER THE PHONE,

dorian hard phone

↓

BUT I DIDN'T REALLY WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT WITH TURK.

turk

↓

BUT I DIDN'T REALLY WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT WITH TURK.

turk

↓

WHEN YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH SOMEONE,

problem

↓

YOU TEND TO TALK TO EVERYONE EXCEPT THEM.

except tend

↓

YOU TEND TO TALK TO EVERYONE EXCEPT THEM.

except tend

↓

I WENT BEHIND JORDAN'S BACK

behind jordans

↓

AND GOT MY JUNK REWIRED.

junk

↓

AND GOT MY JUNK REWIRED.

junk

↓

SHE WAS SWEET TO ME.

sweet

↓

SWEET, BOBBO.

bobbo sweet

↓

SWEET, BOBBO.

bobbo sweet

↓

WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MAKE OF THAT?

↓

WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MAKE OF THAT?

↓

CARLA THINKS SHE'S SO TOUGH.

carla thinks tough

↓

YOU KNOW, SHE'S BEEN AROUND THE BLOCK.

block

↓

YOU KNOW, SHE'S BEEN AROUND THE BLOCK.

block

↓

SHE'S FROM THE BLOCK. ENOUGH ABOUT THE BLOCK!

block

↓

IT'S NOT MY FAULT MY FAMILY HAD AN ORCHARD.

family fault orchard

↓

IT'S NOT MY FAULT MY FAMILY HAD AN ORCHARD.

family fault orchard

↓

FOR 4 YEARS I'VE HAD TO LISTEN TO ELLIOT COMPLAIN ABOUT HER PROBLEMS.

complain elliot problems years

↓

FOR 4 YEARS I'VE HAD TO LISTEN TO ELLIOT COMPLAIN ABOUT HER PROBLEMS.

complain elliot problems years

↓

"MY PARENTS ARE TOO RICH."

parents rich

↓

"I SLEPT WITH J.D. AGAIN."

slept

↓

"I SLEPT WITH J.D. AGAIN."

slept

↓

"WHY CAN'T I GAIN ANY WEIGHT?"

gain weight

↓

WELL, I GOT PROBLEMS OF MY OWN. I'M FROM THE BLOCK.

block problems

↓

WELL, I GOT PROBLEMS OF MY OWN. I'M FROM THE BLOCK.

block problems

↓

I WANTED TO HELP HER.

wanted

↓

I JUST WISH SHE COULD'VE HEARD ME.

couldve heard wish

↓

OK, JERRY, YOU'RE OUT.

jerry

↓

OK, JERRY, YOU'RE OUT.

jerry

↓

LAVERNE? MM-HMM?

laverne

↓

CAN I TALK TO YOU?

↓

PERRY, BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY I'M PROUD TO WELCOME YOU

believe perry proud welcome

↓

PERRY, BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY I'M PROUD TO WELCOME YOU

believe perry proud welcome

↓

TO WHAT I LIKE TO CALL THE SEEDLESS GRAPES CLUB.

club grapes

↓

BUT STILL...

↓

BUT STILL...

↓

I HAVE JUST ONE OBVIOUS,

obvious

↓

AND HOPEFULLY CHOP-BUSTING QUESTION...

busting chop hopefully question

↓

AND HOPEFULLY CHOP-BUSTING QUESTION...

busting chop hopefully question

↓

WHY THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING TO ME ABOUT THIS?

↓

ALL: I GUESS I SHOULD BE TALKING TO HER.

↓

JORDAN, JORDAN, WHY AREN'T YOU MORE UPSET ABOUT THIS?

jordan upset

↓

JORDAN, JORDAN, WHY AREN'T YOU MORE UPSET ABOUT THIS?

jordan upset

↓

HONEST TO GOD, I DON'T GET IT.

honest

↓

HONEST TO GOD, I DON'T GET IT.

honest

↓

I MEAN, NORMALLY YOU'D GO TO YOUR MOTHER'S FOR A BITCH REFRESHER COURSE

bitch course mothers normally refresher

↓

AND THEN YOU'D COME RIGHT BACK HERE,

↓

AND THEN YOU'D COME RIGHT BACK HERE,

↓

JUST SWINGING FOR THE FENCES.

fences swinging

↓

YOU KNOW WHAT? I'D LOVE TO STAY AND CHAT,

chat love

↓

BUT IF WE'RE LATE FOR BALLET,

ballet late

↓

BUT IF WE'RE LATE FOR BALLET,

ballet late

↓

JACK WON'T GET A SPOT BY THE BATHROOM

bathroom jack spot

↓

AND THEN HE'LL PEE IN HIS TIGHTS.

tights

↓

I'M SORRY, MY SON IS TAKING-- IS TAKING BALLET?

ballet

↓

I'M SORRY, MY SON IS TAKING-- IS TAKING BALLET?

ballet

↓

I'M SORRY, MY SON IS TAKING-- IS TAKING BALLET?

ballet

↓

COME ON, JORDAN, HE'S ALREADY GOT AN OVERBEARING MOTHER

jordan mother overbearing

↓

AND A FAIRLY PROMINENT LISP.

fairly prominent

↓

AND A FAIRLY PROMINENT LISP.

fairly prominent

↓

IF WE STICK HIM IN THE TIGHTS,

stick tights

↓

WE MIGHT AS WELL JUST GO AHEAD AND GET HIM

ahead go-ahead might

↓

A TIME SHARE ON FIRE ISLAND.

fire fire-island island share

↓

A TIME SHARE ON FIRE ISLAND.

fire fire-island island share

↓

OH, I HAVEN'T EVEN DECIDED IF I'M GONNA MAKE HIM GAY YET.

decided

↓

OHH, I SEE WHAT THIS IS.

↓

OHH, I SEE WHAT THIS IS.

↓

THIS IS THE PAYBACK, HUH?

payback

↓

THIS IS THE PAYBACK, HUH?

payback

↓

PERRY, I DIDN'T FREAK OUT BECAUSE YOU AND I

freak perry

↓

ARE 2 VERY INDEPENDENT PEOPLE IN A RELATIONSHIP

independent relationship

↓

ARE 2 VERY INDEPENDENT PEOPLE IN A RELATIONSHIP

independent relationship

↓

AND WE DON'T ALWAYS SHARE OUR FEELINGS.

feelings share

↓

I DIDN'T GET ANGRY BECAUSE I'M NOT SURPRISED.

angry surprised

↓

I DIDN'T GET ANGRY BECAUSE I'M NOT SURPRISED.

angry surprised

↓

LET'S GO BALLET.

ballet

↓

DO I WISH IT WERE DIFFERENT?

wish

↓

SOMETIMES.

sometimes

↓

SOMETIMES.

sometimes

↓

BUT WHATEVER YOU AND I HAVE IS WORKING,

working

↓

SO I GUESS I JUST HAVE TO LIVE WITH IT.

live

↓

SO I GUESS I JUST HAVE TO LIVE WITH IT.

live

↓

BYE, DADDY.

daddy

↓

SO HOW YOU FEELING DOWN THERE?

feeling

↓

SO HOW YOU FEELING DOWN THERE?

feeling

↓

OH, GREAT. GREAT.

↓

REVERSE IT.

reverse

↓

REVERSE IT.

reverse

↓

SEE YA, LADS.

lads

↓

OH, MAN.

↓

OH, MAN.

↓

I KNOW WE FEEL GUILTY, OK, BUT IT'S OVER.

guilty

↓

IT'S NOT LIKE THERE'S GONNA BE ANY RAMIFICATIONS.

ramifications

↓

IT'S NOT LIKE THERE'S GONNA BE ANY RAMIFICATIONS.

ramifications

↓

YOU HAVE ONE DAY

↓

YOU HAVE ONE DAY

↓

TO COME UP WITH ANOTHER GORGEOUS IRISHMAN.

another gorgeous

↓

ONE DAY.

↓

ONE DAY.

↓

WHAT?

↓

THE TODD APPRECIATES HOT,

todd

↓

REGARDLESS OF GENDER.

gender regardless

↓

REGARDLESS OF GENDER.

gender regardless

↓

I'M GLAD BILLY'S GONE.

billys glad gone

↓

HE WAS SUCH A JERK.

jerk

↓

HE WAS SUCH A JERK.

jerk

↓

HE KEPT CALLING ME BONNIE.

bonnie calling

↓

BONNIE MEANS PRETTY.

bonnie

↓

OH, MY GOD,

↓

OH, MY GOD,

↓

I WILL NEVER LOVE LIKE THAT AGAIN.

love

↓

YOU KNOW I WASN'T REALLY MAD ABOUT BILLY

billy

↓

YOU KNOW I WASN'T REALLY MAD ABOUT BILLY

billy

↓

OR THE WHOLE FLAKING THING.

whole

↓

I REMEMBER HUGGING YOU THE DAY OF MY WEDDING

hugging remember wedding

↓

I REMEMBER HUGGING YOU THE DAY OF MY WEDDING

hugging remember wedding

↓

AND THINKING TO MYSELF, EVEN THOUGH THE OTHER 2 BRIDESMAIDS WERE MY SISTERS,

sisters thinking

↓

AND THINKING TO MYSELF, EVEN THOUGH THE OTHER 2 BRIDESMAIDS WERE MY SISTERS,

sisters thinking

↓

I FELT CLOSER TO YOU.

closer

↓

WHEN DID WE STOP BEING BEST FRIENDS?

best best-friends friends

↓

WHEN DID WE STOP BEING BEST FRIENDS?

best best-friends friends

↓

IT FEELS LIKE IT TOOK US SO LONG TO GET TO THAT POINT

feels point

↓

IT FEELS LIKE IT TOOK US SO LONG TO GET TO THAT POINT

feels point

↓

AND THEN IT'S GONE AWAY SO QUICKLY, YOU KNOW?

gone quickly

↓

WELL, IT'S MY FAULT.

fault

↓

WELL, IT'S MY FAULT.

fault

↓

I'VE BEEN BURYING MYSELF IN BEING MARRIED.

burying married

↓

OH, PLEASE, IT IS YOUR FIRST YEAR.

↓

OH, PLEASE, IT IS YOUR FIRST YEAR.

↓

I SHOULD'VE BEEN THE ONE TO MAKE THE EXTRA EFFORT.

effort extra extra-effort shouldve

↓

SO WHAT NOW?

↓

SO WHAT NOW?

↓

WE TRY HARDER.

harder

↓

ALL RIGHT.

↓

ALL RIGHT.

↓

YO, WHO TAUGHT YOU HOW TO FIGHT LIKE THAT?

fight taught

↓

WHEN YOU GROW UP ON AN ORCHARD,

grow orchard

↓

WHEN YOU GROW UP ON AN ORCHARD,

grow orchard

↓

YOU DON'T HAVE MUCH CHOICE.

choice

↓

APPLE THIEVES.

apple thieves

↓

APPLE THIEVES.

apple thieves

↓

AH.

↓

WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO YOU?

happened

↓

I GOT THEM TO REVERSE THE VASECTOMY.

reverse vasectomy

↓

I GOT THEM TO REVERSE THE VASECTOMY.

reverse vasectomy

↓

WHAT AN INCREDIBLY NORMAL THING TO DO.

incredibly normal

↓

WHAT AN INCREDIBLY NORMAL THING TO DO.

incredibly normal

↓

JORDAN, LET ME TALK FOR A SECOND.

jordan second

↓

I'VE BEEN TRAINED FOR MANY YEARS TO TAKE ANY EMOTION I FEEL,

emotion trained years

↓

I'VE BEEN TRAINED FOR MANY YEARS TO TAKE ANY EMOTION I FEEL,

emotion trained years

↓

PUSH IT DOWN, AND THEN LET IT OUT BY DRINKING WAY TOO MUCH

drinking push

↓

PUSH IT DOWN, AND THEN LET IT OUT BY DRINKING WAY TOO MUCH

drinking push

↓

AND BY YELLING AT THE FOOTBALL PLAYERS ON MY TV SCREEN.

football players screen yelling

↓

AND BY YELLING AT THE FOOTBALL PLAYERS ON MY TV SCREEN.

football players screen yelling

↓

AND I--I REALLY THOUGHT I HIT THE JACKPOT

jackpot

↓

AND I--I REALLY THOUGHT I HIT THE JACKPOT

jackpot

↓

WHEN I FINALLY MET A WOMAN

finally woman

↓

WHO WAS AS DISTURBED AND CLOSED OFF AS I AM.

closed disturbed

↓

WHO WAS AS DISTURBED AND CLOSED OFF AS I AM.

closed disturbed

↓

THANK YOU.

↓

YOU'RE WELCOME.

welcome

↓

STILL, NOW I WANT MORE. I--I REALLY DO.

↓

STILL, NOW I WANT MORE. I--I REALLY DO.

↓

I WANT TO TALK ABOUT THINGS.

↓

NOT EVERYTHING. NOT EVERYTHING.

↓

NOT EVERYTHING. NOT EVERYTHING.

↓

I DEFINITELY DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT EVERYTHING.

↓

FOR INSTANCE, I DON'T NEED TO KNOW

instance

↓

FOR INSTANCE, I DON'T NEED TO KNOW

instance

↓

WHEN YOU BEAT UP A WOMAN IN THE PARK

beat park woman

↓

BECAUSE HER PURSE IS THE SAME COLOR AS YOURS,

color purse

↓

BECAUSE HER PURSE IS THE SAME COLOR AS YOURS,

color purse

↓

BUT THINGS THAT MATTER.

matter

↓

THINGS THAT ARE IMPORTANT TO US AS A FAMILY.

family

↓

THINGS THAT ARE IMPORTANT TO US AS A FAMILY.

family

↓

AND I KNOW--I KNOW THAT THERE ARE GUYS WHO BRING FLOWERS

bring flowers

↓

AND I KNOW--I KNOW THAT THERE ARE GUYS WHO BRING FLOWERS

bring flowers

↓

AND THERE ARE GUYS WHO WRITE LOVE SONGS.

love songs write

↓

AND THERE ARE GUYS WHO WRITE LOVE SONGS.

love songs write

↓

BUT, JORDAN, I'M A GUY SITTING IN FRONT OF YOU HERE

front jordan sitting

↓

WITH A TWICE-OPERATED-ON PENIS

penis twice

↓

WITH A TWICE-OPERATED-ON PENIS

penis twice

↓

THAT SAYS I WANT TO BE A COUPLE

couple

↓

THAT COMMUNICATES MORE OPENLY.

↓

THAT COMMUNICATES MORE OPENLY.

↓

WHAT KIND OF GUY WRITES LOVE SONGS?

love songs writes

↓

GUYS WHOSE MOTHERS MAKE THEM GO TO BALLET CLASS.

ballet ballet-class class mothers

↓

GUYS WHOSE MOTHERS MAKE THEM GO TO BALLET CLASS.

ballet ballet-class class mothers

↓

FAIR ENOUGH.

fair

↓

YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU.

love

↓

I LOVE YOU, TOO.

love

↓

I LOVE YOU, TOO.

love

↓

OK, NOW THAT WE'RE BEING ALL OPEN AND HONEST...

honest open

↓

YEAH.

↓

I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANY MORE KIDS.

kids

↓

I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANY MORE KIDS.

kids

↓

I THINK YOU SHOULD GET THE VASECTOMY.

vasectomy

↓

FANTASTIC.

fantastic

↓

FANTASTIC.

fantastic

↓

I WARNED YOU!

warned

↓

WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?

happened

↓

WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?

happened

↓

HE WOKE UP AND SAID SOMETHING SNARKY,

woke

↓

SO I POPPED HIM AGAIN.

popped

↓

ARE YOU SERIOUS?!

serious

↓

ARE YOU SERIOUS?!

serious

↓

BOO! AAAH!

aaah

↓

NAH.

↓

NAH.

↓

OH, YOU THINK SCARING PEOPLE'S FUNNY?

funny peoples scaring

↓

WELL, GOOD, 'CAUSE YOU'RE DYING.

dying

↓

WELL, GOOD, 'CAUSE YOU'RE DYING.

dying

↓

JOHN DORIAN, YOU ARE A DOCTOR.

doctor dorian john john-dorian

↓

WELL, HE STARTED IT.

started

↓

SORRY ABOUT YOUR FACE, MAN.

face

↓

SORRY ABOUT YOUR FACE, MAN.

face

↓

OH, PLEASE, I THREW THE FIRST PUNCH. IT WAS MY FAULT.

fault punch threw

↓

RIGHT, THEN, I'M OFF.

↓

RIGHT, THEN, I'M OFF.

↓

SUPPOSED TO BE IN FLORENCE BY MIDNIGHT.

florence midnight supposed

↓

HOW THE HELL ARE YOU GONNA DO THAT?

↓

HOW THE HELL ARE YOU GONNA DO THAT?

↓

HER APARTMENT'S 2 BLOCKS AWAY.

apartments blocks

↓

SHOULD BE NO PROBLEM AT ALL.

problem

↓

SHOULD BE NO PROBLEM AT ALL.

problem

↓

HEY, WE'RE SORRY ABOUT THE WHOLE INCARCERATION THING.

whole

↓

NO WORRIES. LIFE'S TOO SHORT TO HOLD A GRUDGE.

lifes short worries

↓

BUT STILL, YOU 2 BOYS MIGHT WANT TO ASK YOURSELVES

boys boys-might might yourselves

↓

BUT STILL, YOU 2 BOYS MIGHT WANT TO ASK YOURSELVES

boys boys-might might yourselves

↓

WHY YOU CONTACTED THE AUTHORITIES

authorities contacted

↓

AND DIDN'T HAVE THE DECENCY TO COME AND TALK TO ME FIRST.

decency

↓

AND DIDN'T HAVE THE DECENCY TO COME AND TALK TO ME FIRST.

decency

↓

BUT I SHALL LET YOU TWO PARTNERS FIGURE THAT OUT.

figure partners

↓

BY THE WAY, YOU'RE A GORGEOUS COUPLE.

couple gorgeous

↓

BY THE WAY, YOU'RE A GORGEOUS COUPLE.

couple gorgeous

↓

GOOD LUCK TO YOU.

luck

↓

SEE YOU, LADS!

lads

↓

SEE YOU, LADS!

lads

↓

WHEN I WAS ALIVE, I WISH I HAD LIVED ONE DAY

alive lived wish

↓

WHEN I WAS ALIVE, I WISH I HAD LIVED ONE DAY

alive lived wish

↓

LIKE HE LIVES EVERY DAY OF HIS LIFE.

life lives

↓

LIKE HE LIVES EVERY DAY OF HIS LIFE.

life lives

↓

DEAD PEOPLE DON'T TALK, JERRY.

dead jerry

↓

J.D.: WE WEREN'T REALLY MAD AT JERRY.

jerry

↓

J.D.: WE WEREN'T REALLY MAD AT JERRY.

jerry

↓

WHAT WE REALIZED WAS THAT WE WERE JEALOUS OF BILLY

billy jealous realized

↓

BECAUSE HE WAS OUT LIVING LIFE

life living

↓

AND TURK AND I WEREN'T.

turk

↓

AND TURK AND I WEREN'T.

turk

↓

I GUESS IT'S IMPORTANT NOT TO TAKE LIFE FOR GRANTED.

granted life

↓

I GUESS IT'S IMPORTANT NOT TO TAKE LIFE FOR GRANTED.

granted life

↓

WHETHER IT'S APPRECIATING YOUR RELATIONSHIPS...

relationships whether

↓

ALL RIGHTY, LET'S GO FOR THE HAT TRICK THERE, DOC.

righty trick

↓

ALL RIGHTY, LET'S GO FOR THE HAT TRICK THERE, DOC.

righty trick

↓

ARE YOU SURE?

↓

HEY, DOC, ZIP IT, GRIP IT, AND SNIP IT!

grip snip

↓

HEY, DOC, ZIP IT, GRIP IT, AND SNIP IT!

grip snip

↓

(BOTH LAUGHING)

laughing

↓

J.D.: OR RENEWING YOUR FRIENDSHIPS.

friendships

↓

J.D.: OR RENEWING YOUR FRIENDSHIPS.

friendships

↓

(SNORTS) I ALMOST PEED.

peed snorts

↓

(SNORTS) I ALMOST PEED.

peed snorts

↓

(COUGHING AND LAUGHING)

coughing laughing

↓

FOR TURK AND I, IT WAS IMPORTANT TO JUST GET OUT

turk

↓

AND START LIVING LIFE, PERIOD.

life living period start

↓

BUDDY, IT IS ALMOST 1:00 IN THE MORNING,

buddy morning

↓

AND WE HAVE TO BE AT WORK AT 5:00.

↓

AND WE HAVE TO BE AT WORK AT 5:00.

↓

I KNOW, BUT HOW OFTEN DO WE DO THIS?

often

↓

I KNOW, BUT HOW OFTEN DO WE DO THIS?

often

↓

YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT. COME ON.

absolutely

↓

DO YOU HAVE ANY 2S?

↓

DO YOU HAVE ANY 2S?

↓

AH, NO. GO FISH, PLEASE.

fish

↓

DO YOU HAVE ANY KS?

↓

DO YOU HAVE ANY KS?

↓

UM...PLEASE GO FISH.

fish

↓

UM...PLEASE GO FISH.

fish