Home » Scrubs » S04E16 — My Quarantine

Scrubs

Season 4, Episode 16 — My Quarantine

J.D., NARRATING: BEFORE I SETTLED ON THE OUTFIT

#1

⇓

FOR MY FIRST DATE WITH KYLIE,

#2

⇓

FOR MY FIRST DATE WITH KYLIE,

#3

⇓

I HAD TO RUN IT BY THE EXPERTS.

#4

⇓

SO BE HONEST BUT NOT TOO HONEST,

#5

⇓

'CAUSE I'M FEELING A LITTLE CHUNKY.

#6

⇓

'CAUSE I'M FEELING A LITTLE CHUNKY.

#7

⇓

(WHISPERING)

#8

⇓

WE LIKE IT.

#9

⇓

OH, THANK GOD. I COULD HAVE SWORN I HEARD THE WORD JOWLY.

#10

⇓

OH, THANK GOD. I COULD HAVE SWORN I HEARD THE WORD JOWLY.

#11

⇓

SO, UH...HA. HOW MANY OUTFITS DID YOU TRY ON

#12

⇓

BEFORE YOU PICKED THAT ONE?

#13

⇓

BEFORE YOU PICKED THAT ONE?

#14

⇓

NOT TOO MANY.

#15

⇓

NOT TOO MANY.

#16

⇓

YOU KNOW, ON A FIRST DATE,

#17

⇓

I COULD SEE WHAT A GUY WAS WEARING

#18

⇓

I COULD SEE WHAT A GUY WAS WEARING

#19

⇓

AND KNOW EXACTLY HOW FAR HE WAS GONNA GET THAT NIGHT.

#20

⇓

OH, ME, TOO. AND THAT GUY'S GETTIN' BOOBIES. YEAH, HE IS.

#21

⇓

OH, ME, TOO. AND THAT GUY'S GETTIN' BOOBIES. YEAH, HE IS.

#22

⇓

WHOA! THAT GUY'S GETTIN' A HUG AT THE DOOR.

#23

⇓

WHOA! THAT GUY'S GETTIN' A HUG AT THE DOOR.

#24

⇓

AND THAT GUY IS GETTING

#25

⇓

A FAKE NAME AND A PHONE NUMBER WITH 6 DIGITS.

#26

⇓

A FAKE NAME AND A PHONE NUMBER WITH 6 DIGITS.

#27

⇓

I KNOW HOW RIDICULOUS THIS LOOKS.

#28

⇓

I DON'T THINK YOU DO.

#29

⇓

I DON'T THINK YOU DO.

#30

⇓

BUT THE ENTIRE ENSEMBLE WORKS TOGETHER,

#31

⇓

AND THE JACKET NEVER COMES OFF.

#32

⇓

AND THE JACKET NEVER COMES OFF.

#33

⇓

NOW, CARLA, I NEED THE KEYS TO THE MINI-CONVERTIBLE, OK?

#34

⇓

BECAUSE THAT GIRL IS NOT GETTING ON MY SCOOTER.

#35

⇓

BECAUSE THAT GIRL IS NOT GETTING ON MY SCOOTER.

#36

⇓

THE TOP WON'T GO UP.

#37

⇓

IT'LL BE AWESOME.

#38

⇓

IT'LL BE AWESOME.

#39

⇓

SORRY ABOUT YOUR HAIR.

#40

⇓

SORRY ABOUT YOUR HAIR.

#41

⇓

DON'T BEAT YOURSELF UP.

#42

⇓

I GOT A SCRUNCHIE.

#43

⇓

I GOT A SCRUNCHIE.

#44

⇓

(SCRUNCHING SOUNDS)

#45

⇓

(SCRUNCHING SOUNDS)

#46

⇓

THERE! HA HA!

#47

⇓

THERE! HA HA!

#48

⇓

(THUMP)

#49

⇓

WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?

#50

⇓

(GASPS)

#51

⇓

IT'S A POOR LITTLE POSSUM!

#52

⇓

IT'S A POOR LITTLE POSSUM!

#53

⇓

WE SHOULD TAKE HIM TO THE VET.

#54

⇓

J.D.: IT WAS SOPHIE'S CHOICE--

#55

⇓

J.D.: IT WAS SOPHIE'S CHOICE--

#56

⇓

EITHER HEARTLESSLY LEAVE THE POSSUM THERE TO DIE

#57

⇓

OR WRAP THAT LITTLE GUY UP IN MY SPORTS COAT

#58

⇓

OR WRAP THAT LITTLE GUY UP IN MY SPORTS COAT

#59

⇓

AND REVEAL THE SHORT-SLEEVED NERD JERSEY THAT LURKED BENEATH.

#60

⇓

AND REVEAL THE SHORT-SLEEVED NERD JERSEY THAT LURKED BENEATH.

#61

⇓

CAREFUL. HIS LITTLE HOOF IS BLEEDING ON THE GEAR SHIFT.

#62

⇓

OH. SORRY.

#63

⇓

OH. SORRY.

#64

⇓

THIS THING'S DEAD. THAT'LL BE $120.

#65

⇓

THIS THING'S DEAD. THAT'LL BE $120.

#66

⇓

(THINKING) $120 FOR A STUPID DEAD RAT?

#67

⇓

(THINKING) $120 FOR A STUPID DEAD RAT?

#68

⇓

I THINK IT'S SO SWEET

#69

⇓

THAT YOU'RE DEPRESSED ABOUT THAT POOR LITTLE POSSUM.

#70

⇓

THAT YOU'RE DEPRESSED ABOUT THAT POOR LITTLE POSSUM.

#71

⇓

I'LL ALWAYS REMEMBER HIM.

#72

⇓

I'LL ALWAYS REMEMBER HIM.

#73

⇓

LITTLE CARLTON.

#74

⇓

I NAMED HIM AFTER MY UNCLE.

#75

⇓

I NAMED HIM AFTER MY UNCLE.

#76

⇓

HE HAD RED EYES.

#77

⇓

ALLERGIC TO PRESERVES, BUT HE SPREAD 'EM ON EVERYTHING, YOU KNOW?

#78

⇓

ALLERGIC TO PRESERVES, BUT HE SPREAD 'EM ON EVERYTHING, YOU KNOW?

#79

⇓

ANYWAY, WE ONLY LOST ABOUT A HALF HOUR.

#80

⇓

ANYWAY, WE ONLY LOST ABOUT A HALF HOUR.

#81

⇓

WE CAN STILL MAKE THAT RESERVATION.

#82

⇓

OH, THERE'S POSSUMS EVERYWHERE!

#83

⇓

NO, NO, NO. IT'S JUST A BOX.

#84

⇓

NO, NO, NO. IT'S JUST A BOX.

#85

⇓

MAN: OW!

#86

⇓

A...TALKING BOX.

#87

⇓

A...TALKING BOX.

#88

⇓

I THINK YOUR SHIRT STOPPED THE BLEEDING.

#89

⇓

GREAT!

#90

⇓

GREAT!

#91

⇓

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LAVERNE.

#92

⇓

THANKS, CARLA.

#93

⇓

THANKS, CARLA.

#94

⇓

DID YOUR BROTHER MAKE YOU FACE CAKE?

#95

⇓

SURE DID!

#96

⇓

SURE DID!

#97

⇓

CARLA: WOW!

#98

⇓

CAN I HAVE A PIECE OF THAT FACE CAKE?

#99

⇓

CAN I HAVE A PIECE OF THAT FACE CAKE?

#100

⇓

I HEARD THERE WAS FACE CAKE.

#101

⇓

FACE CAKE! I HEARD--

#102

⇓

BACK OFF!

#103

⇓

BACK OFF!

#104

⇓

I'M SAVING THIS FOR MY PARTY TONIGHT.

#105

⇓

(DISAPPOINTED GROANS)

#106

⇓

OUTSTANDING.

#107

⇓

OUTSTANDING.

#108

⇓

NURSE, DO ME A FAVOR, PLEASE. BANDAGE THIS GENTLEMAN UP?

#109

⇓

NURSE, DO ME A FAVOR, PLEASE. BANDAGE THIS GENTLEMAN UP?

#110

⇓

J.D.: I THINK THEY SENSED THAT MY FIRST DATE WASN'T GOING PERFECTLY,

#111

⇓

AND EVEN THOUGH I COULD SMELL FACE CAKE IN THE AIR,

#112

⇓

IT WAS ABOUT TO GET WORSE.

#113

⇓

IT WAS ABOUT TO GET WORSE.

#114

⇓

DR. DORKIAN, I PRESUME?

#115

⇓

THE EX-GIRLFRIEND FROM HELL.

#116

⇓

GET OUT! GET OUT BEFORE SHE SPRAYS HER TOXIC STINK

#117

⇓

GET OUT! GET OUT BEFORE SHE SPRAYS HER TOXIC STINK

#118

⇓

ALL OVER YOUR NEW RELATIONSHIP.

#119

⇓

ALL OVER YOUR NEW RELATIONSHIP.

#120

⇓

DANNI, LOVE TO STAY AND TALK,

#121

⇓

BUT I'M GIVING KYLIE HERE A TOUR OF THE ICU.

#122

⇓

BUT I'M GIVING KYLIE HERE A TOUR OF THE ICU.

#123

⇓

HEY, HEY, YOU WERE GONNA TAKE ME BACK TO THE UNDERPASS!

#124

⇓

HEY, HEY, YOU WERE GONNA TAKE ME BACK TO THE UNDERPASS!

#125

⇓

AFTER THE TOUR! WHAT IS IT WITH YOU AND THE UNDERPASS?

#126

⇓

AFTER THE TOUR! WHAT IS IT WITH YOU AND THE UNDERPASS?

#127

⇓

SHE'S YOUR NIGHTMARE SISTER. YOU TAKE HER OUT TO DINNER.

#128

⇓

I SPENT THE WHOLE DAY WITH HER. SHE STOLE A SWEATER.

#129

⇓

I SPENT THE WHOLE DAY WITH HER. SHE STOLE A SWEATER.

#130

⇓

SO WHAT? YOU'RE THE ONE WEARING IT. NOW, LET'S GO EAT.

#131

⇓

SO WHAT? YOU'RE THE ONE WEARING IT. NOW, LET'S GO EAT.

#132

⇓

I'VE HAD NOTHING ALL DAY EXCEPT VODKA AND OLIVES.

#133

⇓

I'VE HAD NOTHING ALL DAY EXCEPT VODKA AND OLIVES.

#134

⇓

THANKS FOR THE SHIRT, LONNIE.

#135

⇓

THANKS FOR THE SHIRT, LONNIE.

#136

⇓

ARE YOU DOING THIS BECAUSE I FORGOT TO SHAVE THIS MORNING?

#137

⇓

(THINKING) GOOD LORD! THAT'S A ONE-DAY MOUSTACHE?

#138

⇓

(THINKING) GOOD LORD! THAT'S A ONE-DAY MOUSTACHE?

#139

⇓

NO, LONNIE.

#140

⇓

IT'S SO GREAT,

#141

⇓

IT'S SO GREAT,

#142

⇓

BECAUSE THE RESIDENTS ARE PRACTICALLY OUR SLAVES.

#143

⇓

(THINKING) AAH! I JUST SAID SLAVES TO MY NEW BLACK GIRLFRIEND!

#144

⇓

(THINKING) AAH! I JUST SAID SLAVES TO MY NEW BLACK GIRLFRIEND!

#145

⇓

(THINKING) AAH! I JUST SAID SLAVES TO MY NEW BLACK GIRLFRIEND!

#146

⇓

UNFREEZE J.D. IT'S OVER.

#147

⇓

(WHISPERING) SO, UH...

#148

⇓

WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS GUY?

#149

⇓

WELL, LET'S SEE.

#150

⇓

WELL, LET'S SEE.

#151

⇓

"FATIGUE, FEVER, MALAISE."

#152

⇓

HAVE YOU BEEN TO HONG KONG, SIR?

#153

⇓

YEAH.

#154

⇓

YEAH.

#155

⇓

J.D.: AND THEN I SAID SOMETHING STUPID.

#156

⇓

COULD BE SARS.

#157

⇓

I FORGOT THAT IF ANY DOCTOR SUSPECTS SARS,

#158

⇓

IT'S CAUSE FOR IMMEDIATE QUARANTINE LOCKDOWN.

#159

⇓

IT'S CAUSE FOR IMMEDIATE QUARANTINE LOCKDOWN.

#160

⇓

(ALARM BLARES)

#161

⇓

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE, NEWBIE?

#162

⇓

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE, NEWBIE?

#163

⇓

QUARANTINIS, ANYONE?

#164

⇓

QUARANTINIS, ANYONE?

#165

⇓

# I CAN'T DO THIS ALL ON MY OWN, NO, I KNOW #

#166

⇓

# I CAN'T DO THIS ALL ON MY OWN, NO, I KNOW #

#167

⇓

# I'M NO SUPERMAN #

#168

⇓

MR. DONALDSON HASN'T BEEN TO HONG KONG IN 20 YEARS,

#169

⇓

MR. DONALDSON HASN'T BEEN TO HONG KONG IN 20 YEARS,

#170

⇓

SO I BET MY ONE REMAINING TESTICLE NO ONE HAS SARS.

#171

⇓

SO I BET MY ONE REMAINING TESTICLE NO ONE HAS SARS.

#172

⇓

UNFORTUNATELY, BY HOSPITAL POLICY, WE HAVE TO STAY LOCKED DOWN

#173

⇓

UNFORTUNATELY, BY HOSPITAL POLICY, WE HAVE TO STAY LOCKED DOWN

#174

⇓

UNTIL THE LABS COME BACK, AND THAT'S GOING TO TAKE SEVERAL HOURS.

#175

⇓

UNTIL THE LABS COME BACK, AND THAT'S GOING TO TAKE SEVERAL HOURS.

#176

⇓

SO LET'S HANG IN THERE AND NOT FORGET THIS IS ALL DR. DORIAN'S FAULT.

#177

⇓

SO LET'S HANG IN THERE AND NOT FORGET THIS IS ALL DR. DORIAN'S FAULT.

#178

⇓

KYLIE, ANGRY MOB. ANGRY MOB, KYLIE.

#179

⇓

KYLIE, ANGRY MOB. ANGRY MOB, KYLIE.

#180

⇓

HEY. HEY.

#181

⇓

SARS SUCKS.

#182

⇓

SARS SUCKS.

#183

⇓

OK. YOU CAN DIRECT ANY TECHNICAL QUESTIONS

#184

⇓

TO MY FORMER SISTER-IN-LAW.

#185

⇓

TO MY FORMER SISTER-IN-LAW.

#186

⇓

HI. HI.

#187

⇓

OTHERWISE, LET'S BEAR IN MIND THAT WE ARE SHORT-HANDED.

#188

⇓

OTHERWISE, LET'S BEAR IN MIND THAT WE ARE SHORT-HANDED.

#189

⇓

THERE ARE ONLY 4 DOCTORS HERE.

#190

⇓

I COUNTED MORE THAN THAT.

#191

⇓

I COUNTED MORE THAN THAT.

#192

⇓

I'M TALKING LEGITIMATE DOCTORS, TURTLE HEAD.

#193

⇓

PEE PANTS IS A PATHOLOGIST, SO HE DOESN'T COUNT.

#194

⇓

JOHNSON IS A DERMATOLOGIST, WHICH IS GREEK FOR "FAKE DOCTOR,"

#195

⇓

JOHNSON IS A DERMATOLOGIST, WHICH IS GREEK FOR "FAKE DOCTOR,"

#196

⇓

AND PLEASE DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON YOU 4 SURGEONS.

#197

⇓

AND PLEASE DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON YOU 4 SURGEONS.

#198

⇓

THERE'S ONLY 2 OF US.

#199

⇓

YOU ARE SO VERY USELESS, I COUNTED YOU BOTH TWICE.

#200

⇓

YOU ARE SO VERY USELESS, I COUNTED YOU BOTH TWICE.

#201

⇓

YEAH, YOU DID. TCH, TCH.

#202

⇓

SO BE HONEST. IS THIS THE WORST FIRST DATE

#203

⇓

YOU'VE EVER BEEN ON OR WHAT?

#204

⇓

YOU'VE EVER BEEN ON OR WHAT?

#205

⇓

I DON'T KNOW. I THINK IT'S KIND OF EXCITING...

#206

⇓

I DON'T KNOW. I THINK IT'S KIND OF EXCITING...

#207

⇓

BEING IN A HOSPITAL, GETTING TO SEE YOU IN ACTION.

#208

⇓

I JUST WISH I COULD BE YOUR ASSISTANT.

#209

⇓

I JUST WISH I COULD BE YOUR ASSISTANT.

#210

⇓

SAY NO MORE. LONNIE--SHIRT.

#211

⇓

NO!

#212

⇓

NO!

#213

⇓

DON'T MAKE ME SAY PANTS. I'LL DO IT.

#214

⇓

STILL TANNING, I SEE.

#215

⇓

HE'S YOUR BITCH, ISN'T HE?

#216

⇓

YEAH.

#217

⇓

THAT IS SO CUTE!

#218

⇓

THAT IS SO CUTE!

#219

⇓

I'LL GO CHANGE.

#220

⇓

SO, KYLIE LOOKS LIKE SHE'S HAVING FUN.

#221

⇓

SO, KYLIE LOOKS LIKE SHE'S HAVING FUN.

#222

⇓

IT'S A FRONT. SHE'S MISERABLE.

#223

⇓

IT'S A FRONT. SHE'S MISERABLE.

#224

⇓

SO FAR, THE HIGHLIGHT OF THE NIGHT'S BEEN PUTTING A POSSUM TO SLEEP,

#225

⇓

AND THAT'S NOT A EUPHEMISM.

#226

⇓

J.D., SEEING A YOUNG DOCTOR DO HIS JOB

#227

⇓

J.D., SEEING A YOUNG DOCTOR DO HIS JOB

#228

⇓

IS AN AMAZING TURN-ON FOR A GIRL.

#229

⇓

MY DAD'S A DOCTOR, AND I REMEMBER HOW EXCITED I WAS

#230

⇓

MY DAD'S A DOCTOR, AND I REMEMBER HOW EXCITED I WAS

#231

⇓

THE FIRST TIME I SAW HIM WORK AT THE HOSPITAL.

#232

⇓

THE FIRST TIME I SAW HIM WORK AT THE HOSPITAL.

#233

⇓

I MEAN, I DIDN'T WANT TO SLEEP WITH HIM,

#234

⇓

BUT THERE WERE DEFINITELY SOME COMPLICATED FEELINGS.

#235

⇓

BUT THERE WERE DEFINITELY SOME COMPLICATED FEELINGS.

#236

⇓

BUT THAT'S TOTALLY NORMAL FOR AN 11-YEAR-OLD, RIGHT?

#237

⇓

BUT THAT'S TOTALLY NORMAL FOR AN 11-YEAR-OLD, RIGHT?

#238

⇓

ANYWAY, YEAH...

#239

⇓

I FORGOT--

#240

⇓

I FORGOT--

#241

⇓

SO WHAT FIRST, DOCTOR?

#242

⇓

WELL, YOU NEED A CHART.

#243

⇓

WELL, YOU NEED A CHART.

#244

⇓

LONNIE--CHART!

#245

⇓

YOU LOOK RIDICULOUS.

#246

⇓

(THINKING) EXCEPT FOR THAT GLORIOUS MOUSTACHE.

#247

⇓

(THINKING) EXCEPT FOR THAT GLORIOUS MOUSTACHE.

#248

⇓

HEY, GROUCHY PANTS. DO YOU WANNA HANG OUT?

#249

⇓

DOES "HANG OUT" MEAN CHOKE YOU?

#250

⇓

DOES "HANG OUT" MEAN CHOKE YOU?

#251

⇓

HEY, DANNI, WHAT'S SHAKIN'?

#252

⇓

HEY, DANNI, WHAT'S SHAKIN'?

#253

⇓

TURK AND CARLA'S WEDDING-- WE MADE OUT.

#254

⇓

TURK AND CARLA'S WEDDING-- WE MADE OUT.

#255

⇓

SO DID WE.

#256

⇓

WAS IT AT THE SAME TIME?

#257

⇓

WAS IT AT THE SAME TIME?

#258

⇓

'CAUSE I HAVE A HABIT OF DOING THAT AT PEOPLE'S WEDDINGS.

#259

⇓

'CAUSE I HAVE A HABIT OF DOING THAT AT PEOPLE'S WEDDINGS.

#260

⇓

LEAVING. GOOD SHOW, FELLOWS.

#261

⇓

WAIT FOR ME, PER-PER!

#262

⇓

WAIT FOR ME, PER-PER!

#263

⇓

SMOOTH MANEUVER, HOOVER.

#264

⇓

SMOOTH MANEUVER, HOOVER.

#265

⇓

YOU SCARED HER OFF.

#266

⇓

YOU WERE THE ONE WHO WAS EMBARRASSINGLY FORWARD!

#267

⇓

YOU WERE THE ONE WHO WAS EMBARRASSINGLY FORWARD!

#268

⇓

I'M BORED. I'M A SURGEON, AND THERE'S NO SURGERY.

#269

⇓

I'M BORED. I'M A SURGEON, AND THERE'S NO SURGERY.

#270

⇓

WHY DO YOU THINK I BROUGHT YOU IN HERE?

#271

⇓

WE'RE SHORT-HANDED. MR. DEMPSEY NEEDS HIS BEDSORES REDRESSED.

#272

⇓

WE'RE SHORT-HANDED. MR. DEMPSEY NEEDS HIS BEDSORES REDRESSED.

#273

⇓

BABY, THAT'S NURSE STUFF.

#274

⇓

I DON'T HAVE THE EXPERTISE.

#275

⇓

I DON'T HAVE THE EXPERTISE.

#276

⇓

TURK, ANY IDIOT CAN BE A NURSE.

#277

⇓

I KNOW. I JUST THINK--

#278

⇓

I KNOW. I JUST THINK--

#279

⇓

I KNEW YOU THOUGHT THAT. I KNEW IT!

#280

⇓

I KNEW YOU THOUGHT THAT. I KNEW IT!

#281

⇓

YOU TRICKED ME.

#282

⇓

SAY SHE'S MINE, MURPHY!

#283

⇓

SAY SHE'S MINE, MURPHY!

#284

⇓

NOT TILL YOU KILL ME!

#285

⇓

THE ONLY THING I DETEST MORE THAN TREATING PATIENTS

#286

⇓

THE ONLY THING I DETEST MORE THAN TREATING PATIENTS

#287

⇓

IS TREATING PATIENTS ON AN EMPTY STOMACH. I'M FAMISHED.

#288

⇓

WE'VE BEEN IN HERE FOR 8 MINUTES.

#289

⇓

I HAVEN'T EATEN SINCE YESTERDAY.

#290

⇓

I'VE BEEN STARVING MYSELF

#291

⇓

I'VE BEEN STARVING MYSELF

#292

⇓

BECAUSE I WAS GOING TO A STEAKHOUSE TONIGHT.

#293

⇓

IT WAS JUST GONNA BE ME, A 24-OUNCE PORTERHOUSE,

#294

⇓

IT WAS JUST GONNA BE ME, A 24-OUNCE PORTERHOUSE,

#295

⇓

AND A FISTFUL OF BLOOD THINNERS.

#296

⇓

THAT'S AN INCREDIBLY BORING STORY

#297

⇓

THAT'S AN INCREDIBLY BORING STORY

#298

⇓

WITH A FANTASTIC...

#299

⇓

FINISH!

#300

⇓

FINISH!

#301

⇓

HEE HEE HEY, HEY!

#302

⇓

5 BUCKS SAYS YOU CAN'T DO THAT TWICE.

#303

⇓

5 BUCKS SAYS YOU CAN'T DO THAT TWICE.

#304

⇓

YOU'RE ON.

#305

⇓

YOU'RE ON.

#306

⇓

DOUBLE OR NOTHIN'.

#307

⇓

DOUBLE OR NOTHIN'.

#308

⇓

SO HOW'S IT GOING WITH KYLIE?

#309

⇓

SO HOW'S IT GOING WITH KYLIE?

#310

⇓

J.D.: THERE WAS NOTHING EXCITING GOING ON.

#311

⇓

THIS SUCKS. I NEED TO LOOK LIKE A STUD,

#312

⇓

AND A DOCTOR CAN'T LOOK LIKE A STUD

#313

⇓

UNLESS HE'S SAVING SOMEBODY'S LIFE.

#314

⇓

UNLESS HE'S SAVING SOMEBODY'S LIFE.

#315

⇓

I NEED SOMEONE TO HAVE A HEART ATTACK.

#316

⇓

GOT 20 BUCKS?

#317

⇓

SO, NURSE GHANDIRILLA, I NEED YOU TO SUCTION THIS GUY,

#318

⇓

SO, NURSE GHANDIRILLA, I NEED YOU TO SUCTION THIS GUY,

#319

⇓

DO A WET-TO-DRY DRESSING CHANGE,

#320

⇓

AND, OH, WHAT THE HELL, GO AHEAD AND TOP HIM OFF

#321

⇓

AND, OH, WHAT THE HELL, GO AHEAD AND TOP HIM OFF

#322

⇓

WITH ONE OF YOUR SPECIAL, SPECIAL SPONGE BATHS,

#323

⇓

HAPPY ENDING OPTIONAL-- HIS CHOICE, NOT YOURS.

#324

⇓

HAPPY ENDING OPTIONAL-- HIS CHOICE, NOT YOURS.

#325

⇓

THE GUY'S IN A COMA.

#326

⇓

NOT ALL OF HIM.

#327

⇓

NOT ALL OF HIM.

#328

⇓

NOT HERE. NOT HERE. NOT HERE. NOT HERE.

#329

⇓

DANNI!

#330

⇓

DANNI!

#331

⇓

HI!

#332

⇓

OH, GOOD! YOU'RE HERE.

#333

⇓

OH, GOOD! YOU'RE HERE.

#334

⇓

SEEING AS WE'RE AMIGOS NOW,

#335

⇓

I WAS WONDERING IF YOU COULD DO ME A SOLID.

#336

⇓

I WAS WONDERING IF YOU COULD DO ME A SOLID.

#337

⇓

THIS BALD, SAD CLOWN ISN'T REALLY MUCH OF A NURSE,

#338

⇓

SO COULD YOU GO AHEAD AND KEEP AN EYE ON HIM FOR ME?

#339

⇓

SO COULD YOU GO AHEAD AND KEEP AN EYE ON HIM FOR ME?

#340

⇓

YEAH, SURE. I'D LOVE TO.

#341

⇓

HEY, DIDN'T I GO TO YOUR WEDDING?

#342

⇓

HEY, DIDN'T I GO TO YOUR WEDDING?

#343

⇓

YEAH. YOU THREW UP ON MY GRAN-GRAN.

#344

⇓

HEY!

#345

⇓

HEY!

#346

⇓

YOU CAN'T GET INSIDE MY HEAD.

#347

⇓

HEY--MENTALLY STRONG!

#348

⇓

HEY--MENTALLY STRONG!

#349

⇓

YOU CAN'T SMOKE IN HERE.

#350

⇓

I DON'T SEE ANY SIGNS.

#351

⇓

I DON'T SEE ANY SIGNS.

#352

⇓

SO HOW MUCH DOES HE OWE ME, BARBARINO?

#353

⇓

600 SO FAR.

#354

⇓

DAMN IT, MAN. YOU CANNOT AFFORD THIS.

#355

⇓

DAMN IT, MAN. YOU CANNOT AFFORD THIS.

#356

⇓

STOP.

#357

⇓

STOP.

#358

⇓

STOP.

#359

⇓

COME ON, STEVE.

#360

⇓

YOU'RE NOT GETTIN' THIS ONE YET, LORD!

#361

⇓

YOU'RE NOT GETTIN' THIS ONE YET, LORD!

#362

⇓

COULD YOU MAKE YOUR FACE A LITTLE BIT REDDER, BUDDY? COME ON.

#363

⇓

I WANT MORE MONEY. WHAT?!

#364

⇓

I WANT MORE MONEY. WHAT?!

#365

⇓

50 BUCKS, OR I TELL THE GIRL.

#366

⇓

I DON'T HAVE IT! GET IT!

#367

⇓

ELLIOT, I NEED ANOTHER DOCTOR OVER HERE, STAT!

#368

⇓

ELLIOT, I NEED ANOTHER DOCTOR OVER HERE, STAT!

#369

⇓

GIMME $30.

#370

⇓

GIMME $30.

#371

⇓

I GAVE YOU 20. I'M TAPPED!

#372

⇓

ASK JOHNSON. HE'S LOADED.

#373

⇓

ASK JOHNSON. HE'S LOADED.

#374

⇓

I NEED A DERMATOLOGIST OVER HERE--STAT!

#375

⇓

OH, YEAH!

#376

⇓

OH, YEAH!

#377

⇓

TIME TO SHINE.

#378

⇓

WHAT DO YOU NEED? IS IT A RASH?

#379

⇓

WHAT DO YOU NEED? IS IT A RASH?

#380

⇓

LOOK, I PAID THIS GUY TO FAKE A HEART ATTACK.

#381

⇓

HE WANTS 50 BUCKS. WE ONLY HAVE 20.

#382

⇓

HE WANTS 50 BUCKS. WE ONLY HAVE 20.

#383

⇓

YOU KNOW, I FEEL LIKE YOU GUYS JUST USE ME FOR MY MONEY.

#384

⇓

YOU KNOW, I FEEL LIKE YOU GUYS JUST USE ME FOR MY MONEY.

#385

⇓

YOU HAVE A TRUST FUND! NOW GIVE ME THE MONEY!

#386

⇓

EHH!

#387

⇓

CLEAR!

#388

⇓

I'M ALIVE!

#389

⇓

I'M ALIVE!

#390

⇓

J.D., ONE. LORD, ZERO.

#391

⇓

J.D., ONE. LORD, ZERO.

#392

⇓

J.D.: JUST LIKE THAT, LOVE WAS IN THE AIR.

#393

⇓

IT WAS AS IF OUR FIRST DATE GOT OTHER PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT SOME OF THEIRS.

#394

⇓

IT WAS AS IF OUR FIRST DATE GOT OTHER PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT SOME OF THEIRS.

#395

⇓

I HAD THIS ONE FIRST DATE

#396

⇓

WHERE THE GUY TOOK ME TO PLAY PAINTBALL.

#397

⇓

WHERE THE GUY TOOK ME TO PLAY PAINTBALL.

#398

⇓

ALL HE DOES THE WHOLE TIME IS SHOOT ME IN THE FACE.

#399

⇓

AFTER 2 YEARS WITH THAT GUY, I'M LIKE, "THAT'S ENOUGH!" YOU KNOW?

#400

⇓

AFTER 2 YEARS WITH THAT GUY, I'M LIKE, "THAT'S ENOUGH!" YOU KNOW?

#401

⇓

HA HA! FIRST DATES, HUH?

#402

⇓

HA HA! FIRST DATES, HUH?

#403

⇓

SOMEBODY GIVE ME 700 BUCKS.

#404

⇓

I WENT OUT WITH THIS GIRL. SHE WAS LIKE THE WORST FIRST DATE EVER.

#405

⇓

I WENT OUT WITH THIS GIRL. SHE WAS LIKE THE WORST FIRST DATE EVER.

#406

⇓

I TAKE HER FOR A ROMANTIC FERRY RIDE,

#407

⇓

I TAKE HER FOR A ROMANTIC FERRY RIDE,

#408

⇓

AND FOR SOME REASON, I DECIDE TO TAKE IT OUT--

#409

⇓

OK. YOUR TURN IS DONE.

#410

⇓

OK. YOUR TURN IS DONE.

#411

⇓

THE WORST FIRST DATE I EVER HAD WAS WITH THIS GUY

#412

⇓

WHO TOOK ME TO THIS DUMP OF A PIZZA PARLOR, RIGHT?

#413

⇓

WHO TOOK ME TO THIS DUMP OF A PIZZA PARLOR, RIGHT?

#414

⇓

YOU KNOW WHAT? REALLY DON'T WANNA HEAR ABOUT THIS ONE. OK!

#415

⇓

YOU KNOW WHAT? REALLY DON'T WANNA HEAR ABOUT THIS ONE. OK!

#416

⇓

AND SHE DIDN'T LIKE THE PIZZA I ORDERED

#417

⇓

AND SHE DIDN'T LIKE THE PIZZA I ORDERED

#418

⇓

BECAUSE IT HAD ANCHOVIES ON IT. YOU BELIEVE THAT?

#419

⇓

CARLA: IT HAD ANCHOVIES.

#420

⇓

CARLA: IT HAD ANCHOVIES.

#421

⇓

AND PINEAPPLES.

#422

⇓

AND PINEAPPLES?

#423

⇓

AND RED PEPPERS.

#424

⇓

AND GREEN PEPPERS. OH...

#425

⇓

AND GREEN PEPPERS. OH...

#426

⇓

WAIT--RED PEPPERS.

#427

⇓

NOOOOOO!

#428

⇓

NOOOOOO!

#429

⇓

J.D.: I COULD HEAR THE PAIN IN MY BEST FRIEND'S VOICE,

#430

⇓

AND I COULD FEEL HOW LITTLE I CARED...

#431

⇓

AND I COULD FEEL HOW LITTLE I CARED...

#432

⇓

BECAUSE BY THE WAY KYLIE WAS LOOKING AT ME,

#433

⇓

I KNEW SHE THOUGHT I WAS SEXY.

#434

⇓

I KNEW SHE THOUGHT I WAS SEXY.

#435

⇓

YOU KNOW SOMETHING?

#436

⇓

SEEING YOU IN YOUR ELEMENT TODAY,

#437

⇓

SEEING YOU IN YOUR ELEMENT TODAY,

#438

⇓

YOU SEEM SO...

#439

⇓

(THINKING) HERE IT COMES...

#440

⇓

(THINKING) HERE IT COMES...

#441

⇓

SEXY.

#442

⇓

GENUINE.

#443

⇓

SHE WOULD HAVE SAID SEXY IF I HAD A MOUSTACHE.

#444

⇓

SHE WOULD HAVE SAID SEXY IF I HAD A MOUSTACHE.

#445

⇓

YOU KNOW, JAMES LIED ALL THE TIME,

#446

⇓

YOU KNOW, JAMES LIED ALL THE TIME,

#447

⇓

AND I DON'T KNOW... IT'S JUST NICE TO BE WITH A GUY I CAN TRUST.

#448

⇓

AND I DON'T KNOW... IT'S JUST NICE TO BE WITH A GUY I CAN TRUST.

#449

⇓

COOL.

#450

⇓

(THINKING) OH, NO.

#451

⇓

(THINKING) OH, NO.

#452

⇓

I DON'T DESERVE THIS.

#453

⇓

I DON'T DESERVE THIS.

#454

⇓

BBBLLLBBBB!

#455

⇓

I'M NO BETTER THAN HER LYING EX-BOYFRIEND.

#456

⇓

I'M NO BETTER THAN HER LYING EX-BOYFRIEND.

#457

⇓

I PAID A HOBO TO FAKE A HEART ATTACK.

#458

⇓

SO YOU JUST TELL HER THE TRUTH,

#459

⇓

SO YOU JUST TELL HER THE TRUTH,

#460

⇓

SHE'S MAD AT YOU FOR A LITTLE WHILE, THEN SHE FORGIVES YA.

#461

⇓

I SEE WHAT YOU'RE SAYING. THERE'S NO DOWNSIDE.

#462

⇓

I SEE WHAT YOU'RE SAYING. THERE'S NO DOWNSIDE.

#463

⇓

KYLIE--

#464

⇓

YOU DATED THE DEVIL. TURK--

#465

⇓

AND YOU LIED TO ME.

#466

⇓

NO, UH-UH! NO. YOU NEVER ASKED ME IF I DATED DR. COX.

#467

⇓

NO, UH-UH! NO. YOU NEVER ASKED ME IF I DATED DR. COX.

#468

⇓

YOU CAN ASK ME ANYTHING. I WOULD NEVER LIE TO YOU.

#469

⇓

YOU CAN ASK ME ANYTHING. I WOULD NEVER LIE TO YOU.

#470

⇓

DO YOU SOMETIMES WISH I HAD HAIR?

#471

⇓

YES.

#472

⇓

YES.

#473

⇓

IT'S A NIGHTMARE. I'M STANDING HERE LIVING IN A NIGHTMARE.

#474

⇓

OK, MAYBE I'M GUILTY OF A LIE OF OMISSION.

#475

⇓

OK, MAYBE I'M GUILTY OF A LIE OF OMISSION.

#476

⇓

'CAUSE YOU'RE A LIE OMITTER!

#477

⇓

I KNOW THIS MAY BE ASKING TOO MUCH,

#478

⇓

I KNOW THIS MAY BE ASKING TOO MUCH,

#479

⇓

BUT COULD YOU PLEASE TRY AND KEEP IT TOGETHER

#480

⇓

UNTIL WE CAN GET HOME AND TALK ABOUT IT?

#481

⇓

UNTIL WE CAN GET HOME AND TALK ABOUT IT?

#482

⇓

FINE.

#483

⇓

CARLA, I LIKE YOUR HAIR THAT WAY.

#484

⇓

CARLA, I LIKE YOUR HAIR THAT WAY.

#485

⇓

LAVERNE...

#486

⇓

LAVERNE...

#487

⇓

I BET YOU'RE TEMPTED TO BREAK OPEN THAT FACE CAKE

#488

⇓

I BET YOU'RE TEMPTED TO BREAK OPEN THAT FACE CAKE

#489

⇓

AND JUST TEAR IT APART.

#490

⇓

NO ONE'S TOUCHING THIS.

#491

⇓

NO ONE'S TOUCHING THIS.

#492

⇓

OH, I DON'T CARE. I'M NOT EVEN HUNGRY.

#493

⇓

OH, I DON'T CARE. I'M NOT EVEN HUNGRY.

#494

⇓

DR. KELSO, I DON'T HAVE $700.

#495

⇓

(STOMACH GROWLS) CAKE...

#496

⇓

(STOMACH GROWLS) CAKE...

#497

⇓

THAT ACTUALLY SOUNDED LIKE THE WORD CAKE.

#498

⇓

YOU GET ME THAT DAMN FACE CAKE,

#499

⇓

AND YOU ARE FREE AND CLEAR.

#500

⇓

AND YOU ARE FREE AND CLEAR.

#501

⇓

HI, GLENN.

#502

⇓

HI, GLENN.

#503

⇓

HEY. HEY.

#504

⇓

I'M GLENN.

#505

⇓

I'M GLENN!

#506

⇓

LOOK, LET'S NOT GO DOWN THAT ROAD AGAIN.

#507

⇓

LOOK, LET'S NOT GO DOWN THAT ROAD AGAIN.

#508

⇓

COME ON.

#509

⇓

COME ON.

#510

⇓

SHAKE.

#511

⇓

(THINKING) OK, IT'S TIME TO COME CLEAN.

#512

⇓

(THINKING) OK, IT'S TIME TO COME CLEAN.

#513

⇓

KYLIE, I BROUGHT YOU HERE BECAUSE I WANTED TO TELL YOU--

#514

⇓

SAY I'M GLENN!

#515

⇓

SAY I'M GLENN!

#516

⇓

THAT'S PECULIAR.

#517

⇓

ANYWAY, WHAT I REALLY WANTED TO SAY WAS--

#518

⇓

ANYWAY, WHAT I REALLY WANTED TO SAY WAS--

#519

⇓

J.D., J.D.!

#520

⇓

LOOK AT ME!

#521

⇓

LOOK AT ME!

#522

⇓

UGH! THAT'S EXACTLY THE KIND OF GIRL

#523

⇓

UGH! THAT'S EXACTLY THE KIND OF GIRL

#524

⇓

MY EX-BOYFRIEND WOULD HAVE DATED.

#525

⇓

I BARELY KNOW HER.

#526

⇓

I BARELY KNOW HER.

#527

⇓

(THINKING) AND THE LIES BEGIN AGAIN.

#528

⇓

I CERTAINLY WOULD NEVER SLEEP WITH HER.

#529

⇓

(THINKING) THAT'S IT-- YOU'RE STRONGER THAN THIS. NOT ANOTHER LIE!

#530

⇓

(THINKING) THAT'S IT-- YOU'RE STRONGER THAN THIS. NOT ANOTHER LIE!

#531

⇓

I RACE MOTORCYCLES.

#532

⇓

EXCUSE ME.

#533

⇓

EXCUSE ME.

#534

⇓

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?

#535

⇓

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?

#536

⇓

I NEED MORE CASH. FOR WHAT?

#537

⇓

I'M PUTTIN' DSL IN MY BOX.

#538

⇓

FINE! BUT KNOW THIS--

#539

⇓

YOU'VE BEEN NOTHING BUT A DISAPPOINTMENT TO ME

#540

⇓

SINCE THE MOMENT I RAN OVER YOU.

#541

⇓

SINCE THE MOMENT I RAN OVER YOU.

#542

⇓

HEY, BABY.

#543

⇓

KEEP IT TOGETHER.

#544

⇓

KEEP IT TOGETHER.

#545

⇓

DO YOU REMEMBER THAT QUARANTINE

#546

⇓

WE HAD 7 YEARS AGO?

#547

⇓

IT WAS JUST YOU AND ME,

#548

⇓

IT WAS JUST YOU AND ME,

#549

⇓

ALL ALONE LATE AT NIGHT HERE IN THE ICU?

#550

⇓

ALL ALONE LATE AT NIGHT HERE IN THE ICU?

#551

⇓

THAT'S IT!

#552

⇓

TURK!

#553

⇓

YOU REALLY HAD TO DO THAT?

#554

⇓

COME ON. IF HE WASN'T SUCH A JEALOUS BABY,

#555

⇓

IT WOULDN'T BE SUCH A BIG DEAL.

#556

⇓

IT WOULDN'T BE SUCH A BIG DEAL.

#557

⇓

GIVE HIM A BREAK!

#558

⇓

WHAT IF YOU FOUND OUT JORDAN HAD A HISTORY WITH SOMEBODY HERE?

#559

⇓

WHAT IF YOU FOUND OUT JORDAN HAD A HISTORY WITH SOMEBODY HERE?

#560

⇓

OH, FAIR ENOUGH.

#561

⇓

UH, HEY, EVERYONE-- (WHISTLES)

#562

⇓

UH, HEY, EVERYONE-- (WHISTLES)

#563

⇓

IN THE BRIEF 18 MONTHS

#564

⇓

THAT JORDAN AND I WEREN'T TOGETHER,

#565

⇓

THAT JORDAN AND I WEREN'T TOGETHER,

#566

⇓

HOW MANY OF YOU HAD YOUR WAY WITH HER?

#567

⇓

BEAR IN MIND, I'M GONNA NEED ABSOLUTE HONESTY HERE

#568

⇓

OR I WILL BRAIN YOU.

#569

⇓

OR I WILL BRAIN YOU.

#570

⇓

ANYWAY,

#571

⇓

WHOEVER TAUGHT JORDAN THAT REVERSE COWGIRL POSITION...

#572

⇓

WHOEVER TAUGHT JORDAN THAT REVERSE COWGIRL POSITION...

#573

⇓

WHOEVER TAUGHT JORDAN THAT REVERSE COWGIRL POSITION...

#574

⇓

IT WAS LONG OVERDUE, BUT THANK YOU.

#575

⇓

YOU'RE WELCOME.

#576

⇓

YOU'RE A FREAK.

#577

⇓

WHO ATE MY FACE FAKE?

#578

⇓

HE DID.

#579

⇓

(MUMBLES) $700.

#580

⇓

(MUMBLES) $700.

#581

⇓

WOW, HE IS REALLY OUT.

#582

⇓

A MILD SEDATIVE FELL INTO HIS JUICE BOX.

#583

⇓

A MILD SEDATIVE FELL INTO HIS JUICE BOX.

#584

⇓

LOOK, J.D....

#585

⇓

I KNOW WHY YOU'RE LYING ABOUT EVERYTHING.

#586

⇓

I KNOW WHY YOU'RE LYING ABOUT EVERYTHING.

#587

⇓

YOU DON'T THINK YOU'RE GOOD ENOUGH FOR KYLIE.

#588

⇓

YOU'VE ALWAYS HAD THIS INSECURE THING

#589

⇓

YOU'VE ALWAYS HAD THIS INSECURE THING

#590

⇓

EVEN THOUGH YOU'RE THIS FUNNY, WEIRD, AMAZING GUY.

#591

⇓

I MEAN...THAT'S WHY I FELL IN LOVE WITH YOU,

#592

⇓

I MEAN...THAT'S WHY I FELL IN LOVE WITH YOU,

#593

⇓

AND I'M BETTING IF YOU JUST ACT LIKE YOURSELF,

#594

⇓

AND I'M BETTING IF YOU JUST ACT LIKE YOURSELF,

#595

⇓

KYLIE WILL, TOO.

#596

⇓

THANKS, ELLIOT. REALLY.

#597

⇓

THANKS, ELLIOT. REALLY.

#598

⇓

BUT THAT'S A LOAD OF CRAP,

#599

⇓

BECAUSE NOBODY IS THEMSELVES WHEN THEY START DATING.

#600

⇓

BECAUSE NOBODY IS THEMSELVES WHEN THEY START DATING.

#601

⇓

DATING IS JUST ACTING LIKE YOU'RE SOMEBODY YOU'RE NOT

#602

⇓

UNTIL THE PERSON LIKES YOU ENOUGH

#603

⇓

UNTIL THE PERSON LIKES YOU ENOUGH

#604

⇓

SO YOU CAN SHOW THEM WHO YOU REALLY ARE.

#605

⇓

NO, IT'S NOT.

#606

⇓

WHAT DO YOU CALL THAT BRA

#607

⇓

WHAT DO YOU CALL THAT BRA

#608

⇓

YOU WORE FOR YOUR DATE LAST WEEK?

#609

⇓

OH, THE MIRACLE LIFT SUPER PUSH-UP BRA.

#610

⇓

OH, THE MIRACLE LIFT SUPER PUSH-UP BRA.

#611

⇓

BUT NOT EVERYONE'S AS INSECURE AS ME.

#612

⇓

CARLA, WHEN YOU FIRST STARTED DATING TURK,

#613

⇓

CARLA, WHEN YOU FIRST STARTED DATING TURK,

#614

⇓

DIDN'T YOU TELL HIM YOU LOVED WATCHING NBA BASKETBALL EVERY WEEKEND?

#615

⇓

YEAH.

#616

⇓

YEAH.

#617

⇓

AND HOW MANY GAMES HAVE YOU WATCHED SINCE HE PROPOSED?

#618

⇓

ONE. BUT ONLY BECAUSE THAT TIME HE MADE ME CHOOSE BETWEEN

#619

⇓

ONE. BUT ONLY BECAUSE THAT TIME HE MADE ME CHOOSE BETWEEN

#620

⇓

WATCHING BASKETBALL OR HAVING SEX.

#621

⇓

WATCHING BASKETBALL OR HAVING SEX.

#622

⇓

AH. HA HA.

#623

⇓

EXACTLY. AS SOON AS I GET OUT OF HERE,

#624

⇓

EXACTLY. AS SOON AS I GET OUT OF HERE,

#625

⇓

I'M GONNA TREAT KYLIE BETTER THAN ANYONE EVER HAS.

#626

⇓

I JUST GOTTA MAKE IT THROUGH TONIGHT, OK?

#627

⇓

I JUST GOTTA MAKE IT THROUGH TONIGHT, OK?

#628

⇓

KEEP AN EYE ON THE BUM'S VITALS.

#629

⇓

I GAVE HIM ENOUGH SEDATIVE TO PUT DOWN A RHINO.

#630

⇓

I GAVE HIM ENOUGH SEDATIVE TO PUT DOWN A RHINO.

#631

⇓

I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY CARLA DIDN'T TELL ME ABOUT YOU GUYS.

#632

⇓

I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY CARLA DIDN'T TELL ME ABOUT YOU GUYS.

#633

⇓

MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE SHE'S REALLY IN LOVE WITH ME

#634

⇓

MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE SHE'S REALLY IN LOVE WITH ME

#635

⇓

AND TOGETHER, WE INJECTED YOU WITH DIABETES

#636

⇓

TO VERY SLOWLY GET YOU OUT OF THE PICTURE.

#637

⇓

TO VERY SLOWLY GET YOU OUT OF THE PICTURE.

#638

⇓

OR MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE I REALLY LIKED HER

#639

⇓

OR MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE I REALLY LIKED HER

#640

⇓

BUT SHE DIDN'T EXACTLY FEEL THE SAME WAY ABOUT ME,

#641

⇓

AND I GOT THE FOREHEAD KISS

#642

⇓

AND I GOT THE FOREHEAD KISS

#643

⇓

AFTER SPENDING 90 STINKING DOLLARS ON THEATER TICKETS.

#644

⇓

OR MAYBE--AND THIS IS A HUGE OUTSIDE MAYBE--

#645

⇓

OR MAYBE--AND THIS IS A HUGE OUTSIDE MAYBE--

#646

⇓

MAYBE SHE KNOWS YOU'RE THE KIND OF PERSON WHO FREAKS OUT

#647

⇓

MAYBE SHE KNOWS YOU'RE THE KIND OF PERSON WHO FREAKS OUT

#648

⇓

OVER IRRELEVANT THINGS FROM THE PAST.

#649

⇓

OVER IRRELEVANT THINGS FROM THE PAST.

#650

⇓

PERSONALLY, I HOPE IT'S ALL THREE.

#651

⇓

PERSONALLY, I HOPE IT'S ALL THREE.

#652

⇓

J.D.: THEY SAY ALL HORRIBLE THINGS EVENTUALLY COME TO AN END.

#653

⇓

J.D.: THEY SAY ALL HORRIBLE THINGS EVENTUALLY COME TO AN END.

#654

⇓

THE LAB RESULTS ARE BACK, AND THERE IS NO SARS.

#655

⇓

THE LAB RESULTS ARE BACK, AND THERE IS NO SARS.

#656

⇓

THE QUARANTINE IS OVER.

#657

⇓

SO, BYE-BYE, EVERYONE.

#658

⇓

SO, BYE-BYE, EVERYONE.

#659

⇓

THAT LOOKS LIKE MY NECK!

#660

⇓

THAT LOOKS LIKE MY NECK!

#661

⇓

OH, THIS DOES NOT END WELL FOR YOU.

#662

⇓

OH, THIS DOES NOT END WELL FOR YOU.

#663

⇓

THANKS FOR THE HEADS UP, JUMPSUIT.

#664

⇓

THANKS FOR THE HEADS UP, JUMPSUIT.

#665

⇓

YOU ARE GOING TO PAY EVERY CENT OF THAT $700.

#666

⇓

YOU ARE GOING TO PAY EVERY CENT OF THAT $700.

#667

⇓

DOUBLE OR NOTHIN'!

#668

⇓

(SLOW MOTION SCREAM)

#669

⇓

AAH!

#670

⇓

AAH!

#671

⇓

WE'RE EVEN. GOOD NIGHT, SIR.

#672

⇓

WE'RE EVEN. GOOD NIGHT, SIR.

#673

⇓

J.D.: DR. KELSO MADE ME REALIZE

#674

⇓

THAT LIES COME BACK TO HAUNT YOU--

#675

⇓

THAT LIES COME BACK TO HAUNT YOU--

#676

⇓

EVEN LITTLE ONES ABOUT CAKE.

#677

⇓

HECK, EVEN A LIE OF OMISSION SHOOK THE FOUNDATION OF A COUPLE

#678

⇓

HECK, EVEN A LIE OF OMISSION SHOOK THE FOUNDATION OF A COUPLE

#679

⇓

THAT WAS MUCH MORE ESTABLISHED THAN KYLIE AND ME.

#680

⇓

THAT WAS MUCH MORE ESTABLISHED THAN KYLIE AND ME.

#681

⇓

AND I KNEW I COULDN'T LET HER GO OUT THAT DOOR.

#682

⇓

AND I KNEW I COULDN'T LET HER GO OUT THAT DOOR.

#683

⇓

LET'S GO.

#684

⇓

KYLIE, WAIT.

#685

⇓

KYLIE, WAIT.

#686

⇓

I PAID STEVE 50 BUCKS AND AN IOU FOR ANOTHER 120

#687

⇓

TO FAKE A HEART ATTACK.

#688

⇓

I REALLY WANTED TONIGHT TO GO WELL.

#689

⇓

I REALLY WANTED TONIGHT TO GO WELL.

#690

⇓

IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE?

#691

⇓

ADIOS, ASSFACE.

#692

⇓

ADIOS, ASSFACE.

#693

⇓

I HAD SEX WITH HER

#694

⇓

A LOT.

#695

⇓

A LOT.

#696

⇓

WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME THIS?

#697

⇓

WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME THIS?

#698

⇓

IF I DON'T COME CLEAN NOW, WHETHER IT'S A FEW WEEKS

#699

⇓

OR MONTHS OR YEARS FROM NOW,

#700

⇓

OR MONTHS OR YEARS FROM NOW,

#701

⇓

I KNOW IT'S GONNA COME BACK TO HAUNT ME AND RUIN US,

#702

⇓

AND I DON'T WANT THAT.

#703

⇓

AND I DON'T WANT THAT.

#704

⇓

I'M NOT LOOKING FOR A PROJECT.

#705

⇓

YEAH. I UNDERSTAND.

#706

⇓

SO GET IT TOGETHER.

#707

⇓

SO GET IT TOGETHER.

#708

⇓

NOW LET'S GO GET SOME COFFEE.

#709

⇓

NOW LET'S GO GET SOME COFFEE.

#710

⇓

WAIT.

#711

⇓

YOU KNOW, IF WE--IF WE LEAVE LIKE THAT,

#712

⇓

THAT'S HOW YOU'RE ALWAYS GONNA REMEMBER THIS NIGHT.

#713

⇓

I DON'T WANT THAT.

#714

⇓

SO...WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?

#715

⇓

SO...WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?

#716

⇓