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Home » It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia » S03E13 — The Gang Gets Whacked (2)

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Season 3, Episode 13 — The Gang Gets Whacked (2)

TMDB episode metadata

Show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Episode title: The Gang Gets Whacked (2)

Air date: November 01, 2007

Director: Matt Shakman

Top billed cast: Charlie Day, Glenn Howerton, Rob Mac, Kaitlin Olson, Danny DeVito

While paying off their debt to the mob, Charlie and Dee try to find a way to make fake cocaine in order to fool them, while Dennis ranks in thousands of dollars being pimped out at the local country club. Mac realizes his position as a mob informant isn't being utilized to its full potential.

Source: TMDB

↓

DEE: We keep putting more on, and it's not showing up at all.

putting showing

↓

Well, then I guess cocaine is weightless, all right?

cocaine

↓

I'm gonna file that up here actually.

file

↓

- What are you doing? - Cleaning my hands off.

cleaning hands

↓

- What are you, a cat? Use a towel. - My mouth's right here.

mouths towel

↓

We talked about this. No getting high on the supply.

supply talked

↓

I'm not getting high. I'm just cleaning my hands.

cleaning hands

↓

We have to be very careful, considering our past addictions

careful considering past

↓

to glue and crack. - We got over that.

crack glue

↓

I got over that. I don't smoke crack anymore.

anymore crack smoke

↓

You huff glue every single day.

glue huff single

↓

- No, I don't. - No? Did you have any today?

today

↓

I feel gross, Frank. We made a thousand dollars.

dollars frank gross thousand thousand-dollars

↓

No. I made a thousand dollars.

dollars thousand thousand-dollars

↓

You didn't do shit. You sat in the car and read a magazine.

magazine read

↓

What the hell do I need you for? Give me that money.

money

↓

Every ho needs his pimp.

needs pimp

↓

- We got any vials around here? - Vials for what?

↓

We went back to Bingo. We got a little of the cocaine back...

bingo cocaine

↓

with the money that we got from the pills.

money pills

↓

You better go back and get a gun, because dealin' drugs is dangerous.

dangerous drugs

↓

No, it isn't. It's a rich person's drug. There's no danger involved.

danger drug involved persons rich

↓

It's stockbrokers,

↓

high-powered business executives. - We'll go down to Center City...

business center city powered

↓

Waltz into a board meeting, slap the drugs down on the conference table

board board-meeting conference drugs meeting slap table waltz

↓

and be, like, "Hey, you guys wanna buy drugs? We're drug dealers."

dealers drug drug-dealers drugs

↓

You saying that's not gonna work? What are you saying exactly?

↓

- I'm saying that that is not... - You don't like that idea?

idea

↓

At least we didn't become prostitutes.

become least prostitutes

↓

I am not a prostitute. I am providing...

prostitute providing

↓

Let me handle this. Dennis is providing a very important service

dennis handle providing service

↓

to lonely people in need. - Really?

lonely

↓

- So he speaks for you now? DENNIS: No.

dennis speaks

↓

He doesn't have to speak if he doesn't want to.

speak

↓

- I don't? Really? - No. You leave everything to me.

↓

All you have to do is sit there, relax, have yourself a drink...

drink relax

↓

and just keep looking handsome.

handsome looking

↓

Okay. I like that arrangement. Get me a beer, Frank.

arrangement beer frank

↓

- Oh, no beer. Yep. - Too many calories.

beer calories

↓

It's all about keeping this body fit.

body keeping

↓

- I'll get you a nice vodka tonic. - That doesn't have much calories,

calories tonic vodka

↓

so I think that's a smart... drink. - I take care of my boy.

care drink smart

↓

Every time you talk, you weaken the nation. Shut up.

nation

↓

- Why you wanna hurt me? - I'm not hurtin' you.

hurt hurtin

↓

- Just shut up and play cards. - You judge me all the time.

cards judge

↓

I'm just tryin' to remain elegant over here.

elegant remain tryin

↓

Don't try so hard. Remain quiet.

hard quiet remain

↓

Oh! Youse guys got the right idea with these.

idea youse

↓

It's, like, the perfect mix of comfort and wind resistance.

comfort perfect resistance wind

↓

They make that in men's? (laughing)

laughing mens

↓

Huh? I think this is men's. Yeah, it's men's.

mens

↓

Listen. I was thinkin' we go down to Paddy's, put the squeeze on 'em.

paddys squeeze thinkin

↓

We're right in the middle of somethin' right now.

middle somethin

↓

Don't you guys do anything besides play cards and eat deli meats?

besides cards deli meats

↓

Go wash my car. (laughs)

laughs wash

↓

Fellas! I feel like I'm being seriously underutilized here.

fellas

↓

Look, if you just give me a chance, I could show you

chance

↓

how hard I actually am. - What?

hard

↓

That's right. I'm so hard that people are scared of me.

hard scared

↓

And they should be, 'cause I'll explode all over them.

explode

↓

(all groan) What's the matter with you?

groan matter

↓

- I'm eatin' here. - What?

eatin

↓

- You're talkin' about your dick? - My dick?

dick talkin

↓

No, I'm talkin' about my brute force

brute force talkin

↓

and my catlike reflexes. - You hear that, Anthony?

anthony

↓

He's got "catlikereflexes". (hisses)

hisses

↓

That's right. Hands like a cat.

hands

↓

You know what? I think someone just earned themselves a nickname.

earned nickname

↓

- Really? What? ANTHONY: Yep.

anthony

↓

From now on, you'll be known as Pussy Hands.

hands known pussy pussy-hands

↓

(all laughing)

laughing

↓

I'd like to go on record saying I don't like Pussy Hands.

hands pussy pussy-hands record

↓

- But Cougar Hands would be good. - Here's to you, Pussy Hands.

cougar hands pussy pussy-hands

↓

That's great. It's settled. Hey, Pussy Hands, go wash my car.

hands pussy pussy-hands settled wash

↓

- How about Jaguar Hands? - Nah.

hands jaguar

↓

- Leopard Hands? - Nah.

hands

↓

- Panther Hands. - Nah.

hands panther

↓

Goddamn it.

goddamn goddamn-it

↓

(laughing) Go get your saucer of milk, honey.

honey laughing milk

↓

He does have gorgeous hands though.

gorgeous hands

↓

- Excuse us. - Excuse me. Sir? Ma'am?

excuse maam

↓

- Would you two be interested in... - These people are walking too fast.

fast interested walking

↓

You know what we should do? We should go back to the country club.

club country country-club

↓

Remember the country club, with the jockeys?

club country country-club remember

↓

- This about the horse, Charlie? - It is about the horse.

charlie horse

↓

- Goddamn it. - I'm pretty sure

goddamn goddamn-it

↓

those jockeys are raping that horse. They're raping the shit out of it.

horse raping

↓

Excuse me, sir. Can I... They're racing by us as fast as they can.

excuse fast racing

↓

These people are revved up. They're in fifth gear,

fifth gear revved

↓

and we're stuck in first. We need to boost our rpm's up.

boost stuck

↓

- Let's get goin' a little bit. - What are you suggesting?

goin suggesting

↓

A little dip into our Bolivian marching powder,

marching powder

↓

then we're back on the street. - Not in your nose.

nose street

↓

That's how you become a drug addict. Rub it all over your gums, Dee.

addict become drug drug-addict gums

↓

- All over your gums. - Okay.

gums

↓

Feel that? How's that feel for you?

↓

Whoa. I see what you mean, Charlie.

charlie whoa

↓

I see... It's like my mouth is no longer a part of my head.

head longer mouth part

↓

I kind of feel nothing, but it feels so good.

feels

↓

That's what you're going for. That's where you wanna be at.

↓

Keep reapplying every 10 to 15 minutes.

minutes

↓

That's what I've been doing. It wears down.

wears

↓

What? Charlie. Ten to 15 minutes? No. We're gonna run out.

charlie minutes

↓

- No more gumming for a while. - No more gumming.

↓

- We're good though. (huffing) - I'm ready. I'm good.

ready

↓

I feel pretty good. I feel weird, but pretty good.

weird

↓

Let's start the show. Let's be like Wall Street and...

start street wall

↓

Rickety Cricket. That's Rickety Cricket!

cricket rickety rickety-cricket

↓

- Rickety! Rickety! - Rickety Cricket!

cricket rickety rickety-cricket

↓

- Rickety Cricket! - Rickety!

cricket rickety rickety-cricket

↓

- Where have you been hiding? - Where have you been?

hiding

↓

They let you become a priest again, huh?

become priest

↓

- Congratulations. - It's the reverend.

congratulations reverend

↓

- Hey, man. - How you doin', man?

doin

↓

- Keep your head up, Reverend. - Keep the faith.

faith head reverend

↓

Bless you.

bless

↓

- Oh. Yikes. - I get it. It's like...

yikes

↓

Yes. Ever since you convinced me to abandon the church,

abandon church convinced

↓

my life has been in a bit of a tailspin.

life

↓

- Who? Me or Charlie? - You, Dee. You.

charlie

↓

- That doesn't ring a bell. - There was something that happened.

bell happened ring

↓

- I wasn't sure that it was that. - I don't think it was that.

↓

So you're livin' on the streets now, Cricket.

cricket livin streets

↓

- Yes, I'm living... - That's great. That's really great.

living

↓

Actually, it's the opposite of great, Charlie.

charlie opposite

↓

It's one of the darkest times of my life.

darkest life times

↓

- Is it? - That makes sense.

makes makes-sense sense

↓

- Yes. - But the good thing is

↓

that you must know a lot of drug addicts.

addicts drug drug-addicts must

↓

Yes. I was actually attacked by a couple last night.

attacked couple night

↓

- Almost got stabbed. - Really?

stabbed

↓

- That's great. - Did you really? Wonderful.

↓

- You can help us sell our cocaine. - Do you know those guys?

cocaine sell

↓

- Do you bump into them? - Can you sell drugs to them?

bump drugs sell

↓

- You hang out on certain corners? - Whoa, whoa, whoa.

certain corners hang whoa whoa-whoa whoa-whoa-whoa

↓

You want me to sell drugs for you?

drugs sell

↓

We would do it, but we're not street urchins.

street

↓

Know what I mean? But you.

↓

They would buy drugs from a street urchin like yourself.

drugs street urchin

↓

You got the "street urchin" thing goin' on.

goin street urchin

↓

Please stop calling me a street urchin. I'm not a street urchin.

calling street urchin

↓

- You are what you are now. - You know what I'm sayin'.

sayin

↓

I was a priest. I have a master's in theology.

masters priest

↓

- That was then. This is now. - What good's it doing you?

goods

↓

I am trying to get my life back on track.

life track

↓

I don't think selling drugs is a smart move.

drugs selling selling-drugs smart

↓

- Uh-oh. I'm sorry. - Come on, Cricket.

cricket

↓

I guess Charlie and I didn't see you sitting

charlie sitting

↓

atop your homeless ivory tower. - Oh, oh, oh, oh.

atop homeless ivory tower

↓

What is your problem? You just push my buttons, don't you?

buttons problem push

↓

You just enjoy pushing my buttons.

buttons enjoy pushing

↓

- What have you done? - I've done nothing to her.

↓

Can I stop this little lovers' quarrel?

lovers

↓

You're not fooling anybody, Cricket.

anybody cricket fooling

↓

Clearly, the two of you have strong feelings for each other,

feelings strong

↓

and you're letting that get in the way of a good business deal.

business deal letting

↓

Look, Cricket, for the love of God, help us out here, man.

cricket love

↓

- I am not... - I tell you what.

↓

- I'll let you stay at Dee's place. - No.

dees place

↓

Till you're back up on your feet.

feet till

↓

- Dee's place? - Yeah. You two alone, together.

alone dees place

↓

One thing could lead to another. You never know.

another lead

↓

You think she still likes me?

likes

↓

Yeah.

↓

I wasn't sure. I know we have sort of a sexual tension.

sexual tension

↓

No, no, no. You guys got your own thing going on.

↓

I gotta take a cut now, Cricket. We're working together.

cricket working

↓

Jesus Christ, Frank. I can't believe you had that thing made.

believe christ christ-frank frank jesus jesus-christ jesus-christ-frank

↓

Every pimp has a chalice. This one is the shit.

pimp

↓

Great. How much money did you drop on that?

drop money

↓

A lot.

↓

You spend a shitload of money on a chalice you'll eat cereal out of,

cereal money shitload spend

↓

but you won't bail us out by paying the mob?

bail paying

↓

By the way, your Jane is sitting over there.

jane sitting

↓

Aw, you gotta be kid... Dude, she's, like, a hundred years old.

hundred years

↓

- Sixty-eight tops. - That's still extremely old.

eight extremely sixty tops

↓

- Well, I'm not kissing that. - You don't have to kiss her.

kiss kissing

↓

We can make that one of your rules.

rules

↓

This time, nothing with the ass.

↓

That got really weird last time, all right?

weird

↓

What are you talkin' about?

talkin

↓

You didn't set up that ass play on the last one?

↓

No. I never set up any ass play.

↓

All right. Well.

↓

I wanna set up a doctor's appointment anyway

appointment doctors

↓

just to be... just to be safe.

safe

↓

- All right. Do that. - All right. Here we go.

↓

CHARLIE: Hypothetically speaking,

charlie hypothetically speaking

↓

do you think you could teach a horse to sit on a barstool and drink beer?

beer drink drink-beer horse teach

↓

I don't know. Maybe.

↓

Would you hypothetically pay really good money to see that?

hypothetically money

↓

Is this about bringing a horse back to the bar?

bringing horse

↓

- That is completely insane. - I'm askin' hypothetical questions.

completely completely-insane hypothetical insane questions

↓

I'm sorry. I'm a little preoccupied

preoccupied

↓

with worrying about being killed by the mob...

killed worrying

↓

because a homeless priest ran off with all of our drugs. (knocking)

drugs homeless knocking priest

↓

- Who is it? - It's Matt.

matt

↓

- Who? - Matthew Mara.

mara matthew matthew-mara

↓

- It's Rickety Cricket. - It's Rickety Cricket.

cricket rickety rickety-cricket

↓

It's Rickety Cricket. Hey! Come on in, man.

cricket rickety rickety-cricket

↓

- Come in. Yeah! - Oh!

↓

- Where should I put this? - Why does he have that?

↓

- Why does he have his stuff? - Charlie said I...

charlie stuff

↓

- It's not important. - Look at this place.

place

↓

It's exactly as I imagined it would be.

imagined

↓

What is? Cricks? How'd you do with our drugs, man?

cricks drugs howd

↓

Oh. Uh, I sold 'em. Here.

sold

↓

Hey, is there a dream catcher above your bed?

dream

↓

- Shit, shit, shit! - Holy shit!

holy

↓

- Look at all that money. - That is a huge wad of money.

huge money

↓

This is more than we make at the bar.

↓

I've never seen this much money in one spot.

money seen spot

↓

- Oh, my God. - I guess we can pay the mob back.

↓

- We can definitely pay them back. - That's good.

↓

- But we have another day. - We have a whole day.

another whole

↓

- We have 24 whole hours to go. - Mm-hmm.

hours whole

↓

- He flipped this in what? - No time really.

flipped

↓

He flipped it so fast, Charlie.

charlie fast flipped

↓

- Let's think for a second. - We could flip another batch.

another batch flip second

↓

We could pay the mob back.

↓

We could have money left over for ourselves.

left money

↓

- Maybe a little coke. - Yeah, more coke.

coke

↓

- I can get a horse. - You're not gonna get a horse.

horse

↓

- We can have some coke then. - She likes Swiss!

coke likes swiss

↓

I knew it! I pictured Swiss.

pictured swiss

↓

Hey, uh, Cricket. Cricket, buddy.

buddy cricket cricket-cricket

↓

Can I talk to you for a second?

second

↓

Look, uh, you did such a fantastic job...

fantastic

↓

that we're gonna need you to go back out there and do it again.

↓

But you guys said it was a onetime thing.

↓

DEE: We say things all day. - We say words all the time.

words

↓

- We said so many things. - I was thinking

thinking

↓

maybe I'd curl up on that bed of Dee's and I'd sleep with the bear.

bear curl dees sleep

↓

Now's not a good time for that, man.

nows

↓

- I'm so tired. - Are you tired?

tired

↓

- I'm just so tired. - Check it out.

check tired

↓

- I got the thing for you here. - What? Where'd you get that?

whered

↓

Every good dealer keeps a head stash.

dealer head keeps stash

↓

- No. - Dip your finger in there.

finger

↓

- Look, Cricket. - I got the thing for you here.

cricket

↓

- I can't. - Let's speed you up.

speed

↓

And then you'll wanna get back out there.

↓

Oh. Aah. Yeah.

↓

- Oh. (murmuring) - Shh.

murmuring

↓

(chortling) (wheezing laugh)

laugh wheezing

↓

(moaning)

moaning

↓

Where am I having dinner tonight, Frank?

dinner dinner-tonight frank having having-dinner tonight

↓

I'm kind of in the mood for Asian fusion.

asian mood

↓

No more dinners. We're going straight to bangin' from now on.

bangin dinners straight

↓

Check this out.

check

↓

- Jesus Christ, man. - What, you got a problem?

christ jesus jesus-christ problem

↓

- This makes me seem like a whore. - You are a whore.

makes whore

↓

I'm not a whore. I'm a handsome companion

companion handsome whore

↓

who goes to nice dinners with fancy women...

dinners fancy women

↓

and who has rules about what he'll do.

rules

↓

- What happened to the rules, Frank? - You can still have your rules.

frank happened rules

↓

It says right here, "No Rules".

rules

↓

Don't be so uptight.

uptight

↓

I'm walkin' from this... (groans) What the hell, dude?

groans walkin

↓

I'm knocking some sense into you, Dennis. This is all you got.

dennis knocking sense

↓

(groans) Dude, why do you keep hitting me?

groans hitting

↓

- Don't talk back to me! - Okay. Sorry.

↓

Look, I'm gonna get you out of this. It's you and me against the world.

world

↓

I'm not gonna let anything bad happen to you.

happen

↓

- You promise? - I promise.

promise

↓

And, hey, I don't wanna hit you, baby.

baby

↓

So please don't make me, okay? You're my one and only.

↓

- You gotta do right by me, okay? - Okay.

↓

DEE: Come on, Cricket. Where is he, Charlie?

charlie cricket

↓

- Why do we trust him? - He came through for us once.

trust

↓

He'll do it again. This is empty.

empty

↓

Get rid of that. You know what,

↓

this is his whole plan. - It's not a plan.

plan whole whole-plan

↓

Yeah. He convinced us that he was on our side.

convinced side

↓

- Now he'll stab us in the back. - I don't think so.

stab

↓

- What's with the pants? - These things?

pants

↓

- These are horse-riding pants. - You can't get a horse.

horse pants riding

↓

- Why not? - Because it's crazy.

crazy

↓

Is it any crazier than having a dog that bites or sheds?

bites crazier having

↓

Or a cat that poops in a box while it's biting you?

biting poops

↓

- While it's biting you? - Oh! You guys!

biting

↓

Cricket! There you are!

cricket

↓

- What are you doing? - I'm workin' on my moves.

moves workin

↓

- What moves? - For my musical.

moves musical

↓

I'm writing a musical. It's about life on the streets.

life musical streets writing

↓

Archangel has to live on the streets and fight crime.

crime fight live streets

↓

That's great. Where are our drugs?

drugs

↓

- I sold the drugs. - Good. Give us the money.

drugs money sold

↓

Spent the money on these sweet-ass kettledrums. Look at these.

money spent sweet

↓

Those are trash cans. Trash cans, Cricket!

cans cricket trash trash-cans

↓

These are trash cans? Then why do they sound like this?

cans sound trash trash-cans

↓

(tinny clatter)

clatter

↓

You "sold" our drug money on two garbage cans?

cans drug garbage money sold

↓

No. No, no, no, no. I did some too.

↓

- We can see that! - Is there any left?

left

↓

- Can we have what's left? - There is some left.

left

↓

You guys are yelling like crazy. I can't compute.

crazy yelling

↓

Don't do all of it. I still gotta write the seventh act.

seventh write

↓

- It's kinda all up here. - Come on back to the bar.

kinda

↓

- I'm not going without these. - Bring your trash cans.

bring cans trash trash-cans

↓

- Yeah, don't forget the trash cans. - I'm bringing the trash cans.

bringing cans forget trash trash-cans

↓

Watch the crack addicts though. They will cut you.

addicts crack watch

↓

You understand? It's 200 dollars for the first hour...

dollars hour

↓

and a hundred and fifty every hour after that.

fifty hour hundred

↓

Unless you want him to act like he's enjoying it.

enjoying

↓

Then it's a little extra. Eh?

extra

↓

(music - techno pop) All right.

music techno

↓

- #I-I-I need... I need you# - Make it sexy.

sexy

↓

#I-I-I need... I need you#

↓

You like ass play? He'll do anything with the ass.

↓

#I never said I wasn't gonna tell...#

↓

- Don Sal? - Yeah. What?

↓

Forgive me for speaking out of line here, but...

forgive line speaking

↓

I don't think I'm being properly utilized within the organization.

organization properly

↓

I've tried to be eager and work with a smile,

eager smile tried

↓

but I'm not making any forward progress.

forward progress

↓

- Aren't you the janitor? - It's not important, Don Sal.

janitor

↓

What is important is that I get out on those streets...

streets

↓

and start doing some gangster shit.

gangster start

↓

There's gotta be a union boss I can put the squeeze on.

boss squeeze union

↓

Or a truck I can hijack, right?

truck

↓

How would you like to do me a personal favor?

favor personal

↓

- Sounds shady. I'm in. - Good.

shady sounds

↓

I need you to go over to my house and take care of my wife.

care house wife

↓

- You mean, like, rub her out? - No.

↓

- You want me to bang her? - No!

bang

↓

- I'm sorry. - What the hell is wrong with you?

↓

- Why would you say that? - Communication problem.

communication problem

↓

What I need you to do is just go over there.

↓

- Like a protection thing. - Yeah. It's somethin' like that.

protection somethin

↓

- Okay. - I mean,

↓

you don't mind gettin' your hands dirty, do you?

dirty gettin hands mind

↓

- Absolutely not. - Good.

absolutely

↓

Goddamn mafia!

goddamn mafia

↓

(music - techno pop)

music techno

↓

Like that? Huh? Get what you want?

↓

Just keep dancing, whore.

dancing whore

↓

(muffled) #Two hearts that beat as one#

beat hearts muffled

↓

Dennis?

dennis

↓

We gotta talk. Now.

↓

- What the hell you doin' here? - I'm working. What are you doing?

doin working

↓

You cannot seriously be thinking about banging this old lady.

banging cannot lady thinking

↓

No, Mac, you have to separate yourself from the way they look.

separate

↓

Frank says that the only thing that matters in this game is cash.

cash frank game matters

↓

- What did Frank do to you? - Frank takes care of me.

care frank takes takes-care

↓

You don't understand the nature of our relationship.

nature relationship

↓

- What? - Hey! Hey!

↓

You! Out! This is our turf. Get out.

turf

↓

Frank, he cannot bang this woman. It's the mob boss's wife.

bang bosss bosss-wife cannot frank wife woman

↓

What do you think she's gonna do, call her husband

husband

↓

and say she's banging a whore? Dennis, up those stairs.

banging dennis stairs whore

↓

Dennis, don't do it. He's got you brainwashed.

brainwashed dennis

↓

- Go! - Dennis! Stay!

dennis

↓

- Go! Get up there! Now! - Stay! Stay! Stay!

↓

- You're gonna get us killed! - Stop! Stop! Stop!

killed

↓

Please stop hitting me so I can think for a second.

hitting second

↓

You see? This is bad. You got him thinking for himself again.

thinking

↓

What the hell are you doing, whore? Get back upstairs.

upstairs whore

↓

No.

↓

Get your ass back in the bedroom.

bedroom

↓

I'm outta here.

outta

↓

What about you, Pussy Hands?

hands pussy pussy-hands

↓

Me? Oh, no. I would never sleep with you. You're gross.

gross sleep

↓

- Last taste. Last taste. Last one. - One more. That's it. That's it,

taste

↓

because we're almost out of it. - We can't do this.

↓

All right. Okay. Here's the plan.

plan

↓

I'm gonna cut it with flour, all right?

flour

↓

- The mob won't know the difference. - You sure that's gonna work?

difference

↓

People do it all the time. I think this will trick 'em.

trick

↓

- That's too much, huh? - That's too much flour.

flour

↓

- Let me think. - They're gonna kill us!

kill

↓

- We're dead! - Here's what we're gonna do.

dead

↓

- We're dead 'cause of the flour. - We're outta here.

dead flour outta

↓

- Where we going? - We're gonna skip town.

skip town

↓

We're gonna go up to the mountains. We can't tell anybody.

anybody mountains

↓

- We just gotta go. - We gotta get outta here.

outta

↓

- They'll never find us. - We'll have a fresh start.

fresh start

↓

I like that. It's just gonna be you and me and Peter Nincompoop.

peter

↓

Who's Peter Nincompoop?

peter

↓

- Huh? Huh? - Oh, my God.

↓

How did that get here? How did that get here?

↓

I rode it here. What do you think?

rode

↓

- Hop on. We're outta here. - I'm not hopping on there.

outta

↓

We can't get outta here on that. We need a car. It's too obvious.

obvious outta

↓

- It is? - People will see us and it.

↓

- We gotta get out in a car. - All right.

↓

You got a better chance without us, don't you, buddy?

buddy chance

↓

Okay. You know what. Get outta here. Hah!

outta

↓

Go, Peter Nincompoop! I miss you already!

miss peter

↓

I love you, Peter Nincompoop.

love peter

↓

Mmm. Let's go.

↓

- Okay, okay. - What are you doin'?

doin

↓

- I'm gonna try and stay sharp here. - That's mostly flour.

flour mostly sharp

↓

But if we do enough of it, it should still work, right?

↓

- Then, let's do a lot of it. - Let's go!

↓

That's a pop. That's a pop. That's a pop.

↓

Make it sexy. It has to be sexy.

sexy

↓

Otherwise, you don't eat. Okay?

otherwise

↓

- Frank, put the gun away. - Oh, no.

frank

↓

I'm goin' out, I'm goin' guns blazing.

blazing goin guns

↓

#Rise up Gonna get higher and higher#

higher rise

↓

- Whoo! - Rickety Cricket.

cricket rickety rickety-cricket whoo

↓

- Hey! - Lookin' good, bro.

lookin

↓

Thanks, man. I'm almost done.

thanks

↓

Welcome back to the bar. Good afternoon. (imitating fanfare)

afternoon fanfare imitating welcome

↓

How you guys doin'?

doin

↓

- We're very good. - Things are fine.

↓

- You look like you're doin' well. - Absolutely.

absolutely doin

↓

Check it out. We got all the cocaine.

check cocaine

↓

Didn't get the cash. Got the cocaine.

cash cocaine

↓

We might have bigger problems. We just pissed off the mob boss's wife,

bigger bigger-problems bosss bosss-wife might pissed problems wife

↓

me and Dennis wouldn't bang her. We need to be prepared for anything.

bang dennis prepared

↓

Okay. Then I tell you what. I will get my gun.

↓

- Whoa. When'd you get a gun? - I went back to Bingo.

bingo whoa

↓

Wow. I thought we said no guns though.

guns

↓

- That was before all the blow. - You should've told me,

blow shouldve

↓

I've been carrying this around the entire time.

carrying entire

↓

Guys, guys, guys! No guns! No guns!

guns

↓

- I'm gonna put this in my sock. - Yeah.

sock

↓

And if the shit goes down, I'll pretend I'm tying my shoe.

pretend shoe tying

↓

And I'll reach for some cigarettes.

cigarettes reach

↓

And when I ask for a light, we come out blastin'!

light

↓

- Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! - No! No!

boom boom-boom boom-boom-boom

↓

We are not gonna come out blasting!

blasting

↓

Jesus Christ! What is wrong with you people?

christ jesus jesus-christ

↓

Look, we can still get through this if we just calm down.

calm

↓

(door opens) ANTHONY: Oh! These guys.

anthony door door-opens opens

↓

- Hey. Ho. CHARLIE: Hiya.

charlie hiya

↓

All right. It's Friday.

friday

↓

- Youse guys got somethin' for me? - Has anybody got a light?

anybody light somethin youse

↓

(all shouting)

shouting

↓

(shouting continues) Right here.

continues shouting shouting-continues

↓

DENNIS: Put the guns down! I got the 25 G's.

dennis guns

↓

I got the money, so it's all good.

money

↓

Eh? There you go.

↓

- Get outta here. - Go on.

outta

↓

- Count it. - Got it, boss.

boss count

↓

Where'd you get the money? I sold Frank's pimp chalice.

franks money pimp sold whered

↓

What? That's right, you son of a bitch.

bitch

↓

Thanks for bailing us out. Just like always. Goddamn it.

bailing goddamn goddamn-it thanks

↓

It's all here, boss.

boss

↓

- Okay. Well, that was close. - Yeah, it seemed close.

close seemed

↓

- It got stressful. - A little tense.

stressful tense

↓

"Tense" is an excellent word for what happened.

excellent happened tense word

↓

It was nice doin' business with you guys.

business doin

↓

Hopefully, I'll never have to see you again.

hopefully

↓

- All righty. - Sounds good.

righty sounds

↓

Sounds very good.

sounds

↓

You guys, you gotta make it sexy... hips and nips.

hips nips sexy

↓

(cell phone rings) Otherwise, I'm not eatin'.

cell cell-phone cell-phone-rings eatin otherwise phone phone-rings rings

↓

Yeah. (banging on trash can)

banging trash

↓

- What? - Who?

↓

- You. - Come here.

↓

- Yeah? - Can you do me a favor?

favor

↓

- Sure. - Explain to me

explain

↓

why my wife is calling me telling me that one of Pussy Hands's friends

calling friends pussy telling wife

↓

tried to force himself on her.

force tried

↓

ALL: Oh! Oh! ANTHONY: This guy?

anthony

↓

Oh! Oh! That's crazy!

crazy

↓

- Enough with the "Oh's"! - I think that's insane.

insane

↓

I have no idea what you're talking about.

idea

↓

Then I assume it was you, pinhead.

assume

↓

No! It wasn't me! It wasn't me!

↓

- Then who was it? (giggles) - You guys! I did it!

giggles

↓

And I made it so sexy!

sexy

↓

Look at this. I've achieved total sexiness!

achieved total

↓

- I am the man! I made it so sexy. - Get him.

sexy

↓

- You got it. Come here. - Fancy pants.

fancy fancy-pants pants

↓

- I wanna talk to you. - It's so... It's so sexy.

sexy

↓

That's the thing. It's all hips and nips.

hips nips

↓

#Rise up Gonna get higher and higher#

higher rise

↓

Do you guys have more blow?

blow

↓

- Yes! - Get him outta here.

outta

↓

- Well. Couple beers? - Yeah. Shots.

beers couple shots

↓

All right.

↓

Oh. What a day.

↓

#They broke my legs But they didn't break my spirit

break broke legs spirit

↓

#But I don't feel no pain 'Cause I found more cocaine

cocaine found pain

↓

#Cocaine#

cocaine

↓

(whinnying)