Home » It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia » S03E11 — Dennis Looks Like a Registered Sex Offender

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Season 3, Episode 11 — Dennis Looks Like a Registered Sex Offender

MAC: 6:57, 6:58, 6:59. Seven minutes. Keep going, buddy.

#1

⇓

- Frank, you seeing this? - I'm working on the chicken parts.

#2

⇓

Forget the chicken parts. Charlie is about to shatter the world record

#3

⇓

for holding his breath. He's up to seven minutes.

#4

⇓

- Take the buns off the radiator. - Forget the buns.

#5

⇓

We are gonna be world famous after this. Charlie, how you doing?

#6

⇓

- I gotta breathe, man. - No, don't breathe! One minute!

#7

⇓

- Buns are gonna burn! - Don't do that!

#8

⇓

Come on! Are you breathing?

#9

⇓

- Of course I'm breathing! - Well, you ruined it.

#10

⇓

We could have been famous. (knocking) Come in!

#11

⇓

Hi. I... Oh, I'm, uh...

#12

⇓

What do you want, lady?

#13

⇓

Uh, my name is Betty Canuso,

#14

⇓

and I don't know if you heard, but a week ago,

#15

⇓

Eastern State Correctional Facility was forced to release

#16

⇓

25% of its inmates due to overcrowding.

#17

⇓

Eastern State? That's where my dad is. Maybe they let my dad out.

#18

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- Did they let my dad out, lady? - How would I know that? (chuckles)

#19

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Listen, I'm here because of a man named Wendell Albright,

#20

⇓

a registered sex offender. He's moved into this neighborhood.

#21

⇓

I'm hoping by raising awareness we can force him

#22

⇓

out of the neighborhood and away from our children, once and for all.

#23

⇓

- It's going on and on. - Is there something you need?

#24

⇓

Because we're in the middle of something.

#25

⇓

Please post these flyers anywhere you can.

#26

⇓

- Okay, okay, okay. - Yes, yes, yes.

#27

⇓

Thank you for your time. Out. Get out. Get out.

#28

⇓

Some people have no sense of my personal boundaries and property.

#29

⇓

Let's set the shit up again.

#30

⇓

- Holy shit! - What?

#31

⇓

This dude looks just like Dennis.

#32

⇓

I do not look like this guy.

#33

⇓

- Are you serious, dude? - What are you guys talking about?

#34

⇓

- He's, like, 40 years old. - Look at his jawline.

#35

⇓

His jaw is exactly where I don't look like him.

#36

⇓

- His jaw is fat and it's... - Go, like, this far back.

#37

⇓

I never go that far back. When I do, it doesn't do that.

#38

⇓

I give you six to eight months before you start looking like that.

#39

⇓

That's crazy, man. There's no resemblance. (door closes)

#40

⇓

- Hello. - Dad.

#41

⇓

They did let you out. Oh, my God.

#42

⇓

- Don't touch me. - Right. That's how it goes.

#43

⇓

Hey, hey, come meet my friends. Guys, this is my dad.

#44

⇓

- Well, Charlie you know. - Hey, hey, man. Hey, by the way,

#45

⇓

real sorry about that whole heroin incident in the butt,

#46

⇓

but here's the deal. I had my butt filled like a Christmas stocking,

#47

⇓

and I wanted to come, I got a little nervous,

#48

⇓

everything came flushing out of me.

#49

⇓

Wendell "Short-eyes". They let you out too, huh?

#50

⇓

What? No, I'm not Wendell "Short-eyes".

#51

⇓

- Didn't I stab you once? - No, you never stabbed...

#52

⇓

I'm not Wendell, okay? I'm not a sexual child molester.

#53

⇓

I'm Dennis Reynolds. I'm handsome and chiseled and...

#54

⇓

Now you got me thinking. I gotta go look in a mirror.

#55

⇓

Dad, what are you gonna do now that you're out?

#56

⇓

- I need a job. - Tell you what. I just got an idea.

#57

⇓

Bouncer. Welcome aboard, buddy.

#58

⇓

- Right. - Good thinking.

#59

⇓

Can I talk to you for a second, you guys?

#60

⇓

- Oh, yeah. - Dee, that guy likes your hair.

#61

⇓

Yeah, he does. This is a very bad plan.

#62

⇓

- What? Which one? - This man should not work here.

#63

⇓

- Why are you attacking us? - He looks like he wants to eat me.

#64

⇓

Has he ever eaten anybody that you know of?

#65

⇓

- I don't think so. - But it'd be pretty cool if he did.

#66

⇓

Yeah, that is really cool.

#67

⇓

Think about the dedication you got to put into eating a human body.

#68

⇓

If he's got that kind of commitment, imagine what...

#69

⇓

- Son, where's the telephone? - Do you have plans, Dad?

#70

⇓

We could do some father-son stuff. Have a catch. Talk.

#71

⇓

No, I'm not gonna do that. But I'll tell you what.

#72

⇓

Here's a list of, uh, all the people I, uh,

#73

⇓

promised to visit after I got out of prison.

#74

⇓

Maybe you can drive me around, help me take care of a few of 'em.

#75

⇓

Take care of a few of 'em? Okay, that sounds cool.

#76

⇓

- You got a car? - No.

#77

⇓

Dennis does, but he won't give me the keys.

#78

⇓

That won't be a problem.

#79

⇓

I do not want Mac's dad working at our bar.

#80

⇓

I was looking in the mirror. I gotta tell you, looks pretty good in here.

#81

⇓

- Jawline looks good. - Are you listening to me?

#82

⇓

- I don't want to get eaten. - Eaten? He eats people?

#83

⇓

- That's awesome. - That's not awesome.

#84

⇓

Why do you guys think that eating people is awesome?

#85

⇓

- It just is. - Asshole!

#86

⇓

What? Did you see that?

#87

⇓

Yeah, I saw that. Listen, I need your help, okay?

#88

⇓

You're part owner of the bar, and you're probably the only person

#89

⇓

that Mac listens to, and I need you talk to him.

#90

⇓

Dee, you're blowing this completely out of proportion.

#91

⇓

Mac's dad probably hasn't seen a woman in a very long time.

#92

⇓

And as soon as he comes across one that's actually attractive,

#93

⇓

he's gonna forget all about you, just like every other man does.

#94

⇓

- Why do you do that? - Pervert! Dickhead!

#95

⇓

Pervert? Dickhead? Why are people yelling at me in the streets, Dee?

#96

⇓

Could have something to do with that.

#97

⇓

What?

#98

⇓

That's gonna be a problem for me.

#99

⇓

- Take the TV too. - Frank!

#100

⇓

- What the hell's going on in here? - I'm leaving. It's been great.

#101

⇓

But I got to get something more out of my life.

#102

⇓

Why are you taking all my shit?

#103

⇓

It was really hard to tell whose was whose,

#104

⇓

so I just decided to take everything. You don't ever use this.

#105

⇓

I use that all the time. It's like the only thing I use.

#106

⇓

Slow down, Frank. Slow down. What the hell's this all about?

#107

⇓

Charlie, I need a woman.

#108

⇓

I need a woman to cook for me and clean up after me,

#109

⇓

and somebody who'll do everything I say.

#110

⇓

That's just a maid. You want a maid?

#111

⇓

Yeah. That's right. A maid. A maid I can bang.

#112

⇓

Well, what the hell, man? I mean...

#113

⇓

I thought we had a pretty sweet thing going on here.

#114

⇓

Am I wrong? We had a good deal going on.

#115

⇓

We hung out. Breakin' records, eatin' chicken scraps.

#116

⇓

- I know you're gonna miss me. - Don't hug me!

#117

⇓

Get... Get out of my apartment. Dude, I don't need you. No, wait.

#118

⇓

You know what, dude? Before you go, remember one thing.

#119

⇓

We had about the sweetest life that two men can have together.

#120

⇓

And you're walking out on that.

#121

⇓

Charlie, you're gonna have to deal with it. You know why?

#122

⇓

- Because I need that bang maid. - All right, fine.

#123

⇓

But you're not gonna do very well out there without this guy.

#124

⇓

'Cause I may not be much, Frank, but, uh,

#125

⇓

I think you'll find that I'm a pretty sweet deal

#126

⇓

once you're out there on your own, and I'll tell you what else.

#127

⇓

You're not gonna find a bang maid, 'cause there's no such thing.

#128

⇓

I already did. Your mom. Good-bye.

#129

⇓

(sighs) Okay, let's go.

#130

⇓

It's been about 30 minutes, Dad. What were you doing up there?

#131

⇓

Hmm? Oh, just, uh, keeping up with my, uh, correspondence.

#132

⇓

Oh, that sounds nice. How'd it go?

#133

⇓

Well, there was a bit of a struggle, but, uh...

#134

⇓

- Turned out just fine. - Oh, good.

#135

⇓

Good. So, um... I was thinking we could hang out, you know.

#136

⇓

I was thinking we could go on a double date.

#137

⇓

Go onto Match.com, find us a couple of hot ladies. What do you think?

#138

⇓

- No. - No. Okay. Ooh!

#139

⇓

We could go on a road trip. Dad, let's go to Cooperstown, New York.

#140

⇓

I have always wanted to go to the Baseball Hall of Fame with my dad.

#141

⇓

- You wanna do that with me, Dad? - Start the car.

#142

⇓

(clears Throat) Okay. I'll start the car. That's fine.

#143

⇓

Um, just school me again here.

#144

⇓

Is it the yellow one to the black one, or is there orange involved?

#145

⇓

- Red. - Red. Just red. There we go.

#146

⇓

Teamwork, right? A little father-son teamwork.

#147

⇓

Okay, here we go. Put on your seat belt.

#148

⇓

Or don't. Here we go.

#149

⇓

It looks great. Stop fiddling with it.

#150

⇓

I know it looks great. I just want to make sure the glue holds.

#151

⇓

Remember, it's a twofold operation.

#152

⇓

We want to prove that you're not Wendell Albright.

#153

⇓

- But prove that you are a good guy. - Good guy? (scoffs)

#154

⇓

- Check. It comes naturally for me. - Great. Now step one.

#155

⇓

This guy's a little paunchy, right? You're not. You got a great body.

#156

⇓

But how are we supposed to see that with this billowy shirt you got on?

#157

⇓

- Pop that thing off. - Whoa. Wait a second, Dee.

#158

⇓

I can't just pop my shirt off in the middle of a park. You crazy?

#159

⇓

I feel like you're not using your head.

#160

⇓

What better way to differentiate you from this fatty

#161

⇓

than by showing off this amazing body you got?

#162

⇓

There is an amazing body under this shirt.

#163

⇓

- I'm gonna pop the shirt off. - Great, this is what I'm thinking.

#164

⇓

You go over there and put on a fitness clinic for these kids.

#165

⇓

Show that you care about their physical body.

#166

⇓

I would never hurt the kids, but I care about them.

#167

⇓

- Absolutely. - I'm gonna go do that right now.

#168

⇓

Take a lap. Work those monkey bars.

#169

⇓

(children laughing)

#170

⇓

Hey, fellas. Hi, there. I am working with a program

#171

⇓

that assimilates convicted child molesters into your neighborhood.

#172

⇓

Kids, how you doing today? It's a beautiful, sunny day, isn't it?

#173

⇓

Gather around, I want to talk to you kids about physical fitness.

#174

⇓

Now we're not responsible for making sure these people are rehabilitated,

#175

⇓

but this guy's done his time and he deserves a second chance, right?

#176

⇓

That's him right over there talking to your kids.

#177

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Yeah. Nice and high over that bar, so you can work those muscles.

#178

⇓

'Cause you want your muscles to pop, you understand?

#179

⇓

You see how these pecs, they're popping?

#180

⇓

Take a real close look at this body. This body is chiseled...

#181

⇓

- You guys have a great day. - Some people aren't very muscular.

#182

⇓

You'll notice the difference. Let me show you another hamstring stretch.

#183

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This is a real good one. You're gonna make your legs into a "V".

#184

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Like that. You put your hands together and stretch nice and low.

#185

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Don't be afraid to stick your ass out. That's not embarrassing.

#186

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It's a good thing. Get those hamstrings nice and loose.

#187

⇓

- That's a real... - Hey, pervert.

#188

⇓

Oh, shit.

#189

⇓

A dinner party? I don't think so.

#190

⇓

Everybody's gonna be there. My mom, my dad, Charlie.

#192

⇓

No, Mac. I don't think I'm ever gonna leave this place.

#193

⇓

Nail clippings on command.

#194

⇓

Massages and hand jobs being thrown around like hotcakes.

#195

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This is a party in your honor. We're celebrating your new relationship.

#196

⇓

Can I bring my bang maid?

#197

⇓

Of course, dude. You can bring anybody you want.

#198

⇓

- Bonnie! - Oh, uh, yes, Frank?

#199

⇓

Stop making lasagna. We're goin' out tonight.

#200

⇓

- Oh. Okay, Frank. - She's in.

#201

⇓

All right, I'll see you tonight at 8:00. And the trap is set.

#202

⇓

- Sweet, bro. - What the hell are you doing?

#203

⇓

- Siphoning boxed wine. - Why?

#204

⇓

Why? Bro, this is the perfect plan, man.

#205

⇓

Dude, if we get your dad drunk enough,

#206

⇓

he's gonna be able to see past your mother's looks,

#207

⇓

past her skin, all that eczema and shit.

#208

⇓

He's gonna fall in love with her all over again, buddy.

#209

⇓

Now my mom, she gets so belligerent and mean when she's drunk, dude,

#210

⇓

she's gonna drive Frank right back into my arms.

#211

⇓

- Into your arms? - Into my... Into my home.

#212

⇓

Into my futon and my house.

#213

⇓

I'm gonna have Frank back is what I'm trying to say, dude.

#214

⇓

Right. Where'd all these jars come from?

#215

⇓

I emptied out all the tomato sauce.

#216

⇓

Seems to me like it'd be easier to steal the box than jars of liquid.

#217

⇓

No. No. The jars are... It's easier... You empty... (scoffs)

#218

⇓

Where were you 10 minutes ago when I was coming up with this plan?

#219

⇓

Okay, I helped you. In fact, I'm still helping you.

#220

⇓

I'm giving you ice for your broken face, so you call Mac now.

#221

⇓

What are you talking about? You helped me get my ass kicked.

#222

⇓

I'm starting to think you did that on purpose.

#223

⇓

- What? - Yeah.

#224

⇓

Oh, how dare you say it. You call Mac right now.

#225

⇓

No. I'm not calling Mac. No. I'm not calling Mac,

#226

⇓

because you're not helping me with this molester situation.

#227

⇓

I'm gonna call Mac's dad.

#228

⇓

I'm gonna tell him you're available, that you were asking about him.

#229

⇓

Fine, I'll help you. But then right afterwards, you're helping me.

#230

⇓

- Yeah. - Dick.

#231

⇓

Yeah.

#232

⇓

MAC: Oh, Mom, you're gonna look so good for your date.

#233

⇓

All right, here we go.

#234

⇓

I think that should just about do it.

#235

⇓

What do you think? (TV playing, indistinct)

#236

⇓

Can't see the TV.

#237

⇓

Right. I was thinking you could lay off the TV, just for an hour.

#238

⇓

- Can't see the TV. - Mac, can I talk to you?

#239

⇓

Yeah. I'll-I'll be right back, okay?

#240

⇓

- Okay, what's up? - Do me a favor.

#241

⇓

I'm really in the weeds here, bro.

#242

⇓

I need you to take some of these spaghetti sauce things

#243

⇓

with all the wine in them. I need you to, like, empty all...

#244

⇓

What you talking about? I'm trying to set the right mood in there.

#245

⇓

Are you kidding me? I'm the only one in here!

#246

⇓

- I'm the only one cooking! - Is that my problem, Charlie?

#247

⇓

- What if we have no ambience? - You have any idea what it takes...

#248

⇓

- Do you want flat ambience? - Get out of my kitchen!

#249

⇓

- Jesus Christ, Charlie. - This is a disaster!

#250

⇓

This disaster's on your hands, not mine, okay? Whoa! Dad.

#251

⇓

- When did you get here? - Shh.

#252

⇓

Right. Right. Oh, surprise, Mom. Surprise! Yeah! It's Dad.

#253

⇓

You guys haven't seen each other in so long, huh? It's exciting.

#254

⇓

(coughs) Right. Hey, Dad. Dad, doesn't Mom look pretty?

#255

⇓

- No. - Oh, boy. (knocking)

#256

⇓

Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Here we go. Our guests have arrived. Oh, sorry.

#257

⇓

Almost, uh, touched you again. Okay, guys, you guys ready?

#258

⇓

All right, you look ready. Let's do it.

#259

⇓

It's all happening. Hello. Welcome. Welcome.

#260

⇓

- You look good. - Thanks.

#261

⇓

- Can I take your coats? - Bonnie, coat. Sit.

#262

⇓

- Love you. - Mmm.

#263

⇓

- Damn, dude. - Harsh, right? I think so too.

#264

⇓

The woman prefers to be treated like shit.

#265

⇓

I ain't never seen anything like it in my life.

#266

⇓

Attention, everybody! Your dinner is served.

#267

⇓

- Ohh! (chuckles) - Pipe down.

#268

⇓

- This is, uh, delicious, Charlie. - Why, thank you, Mac.

#269

⇓

It's crap. Pure, unadulterated crap.

#270

⇓

- Uh, Mother, how's yours? - Um...

#271

⇓

It's crap. Pure, unadulterated crap.

#272

⇓

I'm not surprised you saying that, considering I took a crap in yours.

#273

⇓

No, he didn't. He's joking. He's joking.

#274

⇓

Charlie did not crap into anybody's food, okay?

#275

⇓

Mother, you might be wanting to have some more of this turkey sangria.

#276

⇓

- Wash that crap down, right? - No. Bonnie.

#277

⇓

- She doesn't want any more. - Shut up, Frank.

#278

⇓

You don't know what she wants any more than she knows what you want.

#279

⇓

You know who knows what you want? I do.

#280

⇓

I've always known what you want. And I can give you want you want.

#281

⇓

Just let me give you what you want.

#282

⇓

- I don't think so, Charlie. - Let's change the subject.

#283

⇓

Dad, maybe you want to regale us

#284

⇓

with a story from prison or my childhood?

#285

⇓

- Mm-mmm. - Oh, my. You were in prison?

#286

⇓

- Yeah. - That's very interesting, Luther.

#287

⇓

Now that you and my mother are opening a dialogue here,

#288

⇓

have you taken any time out of your dinner to notice her ample breasts?

#289

⇓

- What? - The man's been in prison.

#290

⇓

He probably needs a woman. What you may or may not have know

#291

⇓

s my mother is one hell of a whore of a man-stealing woman!

#292

⇓

- Charlie, that's just rude. - What are you doing, Charlie?

#293

⇓

It's okay, because my dad already has a woman, Frank.

#294

⇓

- Uh, you have Mom. - She hates me.

#295

⇓

That's not true. That's not true. Mom, you don't hate Dad, do you?

#296

⇓

- Oh, yeah. - Damn it.

#297

⇓

Mother, I don't know if you know this or not,

#298

⇓

but Luther happens to be a very successful drug dealer.

#299

⇓

This might also appeal to the whore in you.

#300

⇓

He has beautiful blue eyes that just pop right out of his head.

#301

⇓

- I don't blink. - The man doesn't blink, Mom.

#302

⇓

- The man doesn't blink. - Stay away from my bang maid.

#303

⇓

Damn it, Frank! This isn't about them or Mac or anyone else.

#304

⇓

This is about you and me, bro. This is about dudes living together,

#305

⇓

hanging out, sharing their bed and their home and their life...

#306

⇓

- No. That's not what this is about! - Yes!

#307

⇓

This is about people meeting back up after many years and sparks flying

#308

⇓

and families getting back together and raising little boys

#309

⇓

so they can be happy again!

#310

⇓

Okay, happy boys! This is about happy boys!

#311

⇓

Bonnie, I'll call you sometime.

#312

⇓

- No! - Oh, that's it! That's it!

#313

⇓

You've ruined this, and I'll never forgive you.

#314

⇓

- We're out of here. - I will never forgive you.

#315

⇓

Oh, come on. You'll forgive me. Mmm! And the seed is planted.

#316

⇓

(door closes)

#317

⇓

(knocking)

#318

⇓

Listen, douche bag. Apparently people think we look alike.

#319

⇓

- Personally, I don't see it. - Holy shit! No. Yeah, I see that.

#320

⇓

We got the same eyes, same nose, same lips...

#321

⇓

- And the chin. - What are you doing?

#322

⇓

That's what it is. It's all in here is the same.

#323

⇓

- Same jawline and chin... - But look at his whole neck parts.

#324

⇓

- Yeah, it's right in here. - Mm-hmm. It's all there.

#325

⇓

- What? Who are you here to help? - But look at his...

#326

⇓

I have a chiseled, noble... That's not the point.

#327

⇓

The point is you got to leave so I can live my life in peace.

#328

⇓

Listen, pal. This is a pretty sweet situation I got going here.

#329

⇓

You're out there looking like me taking all my heat

#330

⇓

while I'm in here watching the Disney channel all day long.

#331

⇓

- Why the hell would I move? - We were afraid it was like that.

#332

⇓

Timmy, could you come out here for a second?

#333

⇓

Timmy, will you recite for our husky friend here

#334

⇓

the little courtroom speech we prepared?

#335

⇓

I have a friend. His name is Wendell.

#336

⇓

He showed me funny movies with fully naked people in them.

#337

⇓

He gives me juice boxes that make me sleepy.

#338

⇓

- All right, I get it. - He's silly. He's a tickle monster.

#339

⇓

Listen, kid, I said I get it, okay?

#340

⇓

He makes me taste things I don't want to. Puts things in my heinie.

#341

⇓

Goddamn it! Will you make the kid stop, please? Come on.

#342

⇓

- I think that ought to do it. - Yeah. That's good, Timmy.

#343

⇓

- So you'll leave? - Yeah, I'll leave. (scoffs)

#344

⇓

(radio) #Lady

#345

⇓

#When you're with me I'm smiling

#346

⇓

#Give me Whoa-oa-oa, all your love#

#347

⇓

- So I say that went very well. - Shut up, Charlie.

#348

⇓

Hey, hey, hey. I agree with Charlie.

#349

⇓

I thought it was nice. Hey, pull over. Pull over.

#350

⇓

- Here? - Yeah, yeah.

#351

⇓

What, do you have another name on your correspondence list?

#352

⇓

Yeah. Okay, you two, stay right here. (radio off)

#353

⇓

This one shouldn't take long.

#354

⇓

Can I talk to you for one second? What the hell's up with that?

#355

⇓

- I don't know. - That's weird.

#356

⇓

- He's been weird about the list. - What's this correspondence list?

#357

⇓

Don't know, who are these people? Judge Hatcher.

#358

⇓

District Attorney Andrews. Warden Phillips.

#359

⇓

What? I think he's killing those people.

#360

⇓

Holy shit! He's killing... He's probably eating them too, dude.

#361

⇓

And although I think eating people is very cool, not if we're involved.

#362

⇓

- Charlie, he's not killing anybody. - We're accomplices.

#363

⇓

No, we are not. He told me these are people from his past,

#364

⇓

and he's got to take care of them. And once he takes care of them,

#365

⇓

he's gonna take care of me. (both gasping)

#366

⇓

Oh, my God! That doesn't sound good.

#367

⇓

- Doesn't sound good at all for you. - I'm on the list, of course.

#368

⇓

And then... Uh-oh. Number 12.

#369

⇓

- What? - Charlie.

#370

⇓

Why am I on there? I don't belong on there!

#371

⇓

That's bullshit! You don't put a man on a list! Rip it off!

#372

⇓

You think he memorized it? Of course he memorized it. That's pointless.

#373

⇓

Oh, my God! What's this about? Why am I on the list?

#374

⇓

- Charlie... - It's the heroin thing.

#375

⇓

Remember when he asked us to put heroin in our butts

#376

⇓

and smuggle it into prison and we didn't do it?

#377

⇓

Now he's all hot and bothered 'cause we don't give him heroin?

#378

⇓

We don't put it in our butts? You don't do that!

#379

⇓

You don't eat someone 'cause they don't have heroin in their ass!

#380

⇓

Let's get out of here. (screams)

#381

⇓

- Hold on! Calm down, Charlie! - Red to red! Red to red!

#382

⇓

- Are you sure it's red to red? - Am I sure it's red to red?

#383

⇓

- You hold this one! - Oh, my God! Red to red!

#384

⇓

I can do it, right? (screams)

#385

⇓

#Lady# CHARLIE: Let's go!

#386

⇓

#Of the morning# (screams)

#387

⇓

(knocking)

#388

⇓

- What can I do you for? - We need to talk.

#389

⇓

What is going on in here?

#390

⇓

Just laying low and breaking world records.

#391

⇓

- Don't even think about breathing. - All right, so here's the deal.

#392

⇓

Got rid of that child molester. The sexual predator guy?

#393

⇓

He's gone. He's out of the situation so my problems are solved.

#394

⇓

- You had a thing too, right? - I want your dad out of the bar.

#395

⇓

- Great. Me too. - Really?

#396

⇓

I'm pretty sure he wants to kill me, actually.

#397

⇓

Why would your dad want to kill you?

#398

⇓

Not sure. But we've been driving around in your car.

#399

⇓

- He's got this list of names. - Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait a second.

#400

⇓

- You've been driving in my car? - Uh, my dad made me steal it.

#401

⇓

- I'm sorry. I'm sorry, dude. - That son of a bitch.

#402

⇓

He's a dangerous man, and I don't want him in the bar anymore.

#403

⇓

- Are you kidding me? - That's final! Don't argue with me!

#404

⇓

Mac, call the police.

#405

⇓

(gobbing) Good-bye. Good-bye. Luther!

#406

⇓

- I'll wait for you. - Mom, are you okay?

#407

⇓

- Are you okay? - Charlie, they're taking him away.

#408

⇓

- They're taking away my Luther. - Mom, I was... Mom! Mom, sorry.

#409

⇓

Can you listen to me? Don't ever take Frank from me again!

#410

⇓

- He's mine now! I got him back. - What?

#411

⇓

- Officer, we know everything. - What are you talking about?

#412

⇓

We're the ones that called you. That's my dad you're arresting.

#413

⇓

He's been killing all the people on this list.

#414

⇓

Oh, yeah. We looked into all that already.

#415

⇓

He wasn't killing those people.

#416

⇓

In fact, everybody on that list spoke very highly of him.

#417

⇓

- Spoke highly of him? - What?

#418

⇓

Apparently, he was making amends with all the people he wronged.

#419

⇓

If he hasn't been killing anybody, why are you arresting him?

#420

⇓

Because he violated his parole. He's not supposed to leave the state

#421

⇓

and we caught him buying three airline tickets.

#422

⇓

- To where? - Cooperstown, New York.

#423

⇓

Said he was gonna take a guy named Mac and a guy named Charlie.

#424

⇓

- You guys have a good one, huh? - Yeah.

#425

⇓

Oh, my God. Dad. Dad!

#426

⇓

Dad, you did want to take me to the Hall of Fame.

#427

⇓

Well, I wanted it to be a surprise.

#428

⇓

It is a surprise. It's a huge surprise, Dad.

#429

⇓

I wanted Charlie to know there were no hard feelings about that whole...

#430

⇓

- You know, heroin thing. - Ohh. Oh, my God, Dad.

#431

⇓

I am so sorry for ratting you out and turning you in.

#432

⇓

You weren't gonna kill me. Of course you weren't gonna kill me.

#433

⇓

- I'm your son. (chuckles) - No, I wasn't gonna kill you.

#434

⇓

But I'm going to now.

#435

⇓

- Huh? - Yeah.

#436

⇓

As soon as I get out, I'm gonna kill you.

#437

⇓

See you, Son. See you real soon.

#438

⇓

(engine starts)

#439

⇓

#Lady

#440

⇓

#Of the morning

#441

⇓

#Love shines

#442

⇓

#In your eyes

#443

⇓

#Sparkling

#444

⇓

#Clear and lovely

#445

⇓

#You're my lady

#446

⇓

#Lady

#447

⇓

#Turns me on when I'm lonely

#448

⇓

#Show me, whoa-oa-oa#

#449

⇓