It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Season 3, Episode 10 — Mac is a Serial Killer

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CHARLIE: So, he's in the law house...
#1
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DENNIS: Please, stop talking. - Just let me finish my story.
#2
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Describing an episode of "Law and Order" in detail is not a story.
#3
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No, it's so good. First of all, I could be a really good lawyer.
#4
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- I'm better than Sam Waterston. - You want to be a lawyer?
#5
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Don't you think you should know how to read or write?
#6
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Objection. Hearsay. That's the kind of stuff you have to do.
#7
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That serial killer killed another woman last night.
#8
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- Really? - Yeah. It says here,
#9
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he's targeting young, attractive blondes.
#10
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That's it. I'm not closing the bar by myself anymore.
#11
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- Why? What are you worried about? - You don't fit the description.
#12
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- I fit the description. - No. Young, attractive... Yeah.
#13
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- I fit the description. - first of all, you're too big, Dee.
#14
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- You're like a... - You're like a female Larry Bird.
#15
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DENNIS: There's too much of you. - There's not too much of me.
#16
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- He would never finish the job. - He'd get the job done.
#17
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He'd spend his whole night hacking and sawing.
#18
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Then he still wouldn't be done. He would open his box of tools
#19
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and say, "What tools am I gonna use for this?"
#20
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- He could use normal tools. - He'd look at that pile of bones
#21
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and flesh and say... - "How many people have I murdered?"
#22
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- "How is this just one person?" - Guess what. You're Larry Bird.
#23
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- Larry Bird's an excellent player. - He's an awesome player.
#24
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- What's up, bitches? - Hey-yo!
#25
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Hey. This guy, he got laid last night.
#26
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- What? No, I didn't. - You did. You didn't come home.
#27
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- Yes, I did. - You're wearing the same clothes
#28
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you were wearing yesterday. - These are different clothes.
#29
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- Where'd you get those scratches? - What?
#30
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- You got scratches on your neck. - No, I don't.
#31
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- Let me see. - No. What?
#32
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I gotta take a piss. I don't have any...
#33
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You guys are...
#34
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- Well, that was weird. - Wow.
#35
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- He's been acting like that. - What's gotten into him?
#36
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Serial killing.
#37
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To prove that Mac is guilty, I gotta apply a little pressure.
#38
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- I'm gonna get a chain saw. - A chain saw?
#39
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You can't just torture someone, 'cause you think they're guilty.
#40
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- Don't give me that bullshit. - Mac is not the serial killer.
#41
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- He's not smart enough. - He's a dumb person.
#42
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And dumb people are not capable of serial killing.
#43
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What about the scratches on his neck? I got a hunch about this.
#44
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You got a hunch? Frank's got a hunch. Let's just convict him.
#45
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Let's carve our friend to pieces with a chainsaw based on a hunch.
#46
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Dee, why don't you and I use a little textbook psychology?
#47
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And that'll lead us to the real serial killer's doorstep.
#48
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Are you all gonna go against me on this?
#49
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- Sorry, Larry Bird. - Stop trying to use that.
#50
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DEE: I don't know.
#51
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What are you guys talking about?
#52
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- Nothing. - Nothing.
#53
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I forgot about this thing that I gotta do, take care of.
#54
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I was thinking about it. I should just go deal with it now.
#55
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I'm just gonna go deal with it now. I guess I'll see you guys later?
#56
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Okay, bye.
#57
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(laughs) If I prove that he is guilty,
#58
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I am gonna torture the shit out of him.
#59
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- Hey, you. - We need to talk.
#60
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I don't understand. I thought we talked about this.
#61
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We did. It's just that my friends are getting suspicious.
#62
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And I cannot have them find out that we are dating again.
#63
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(scoffs) - Why not? - Because of your... Oh, God.
#64
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Situation down there.
#65
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- You mean my penis? - You don't have to say it out loud.
#66
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I told you. I'm getting rid of it.
#67
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But when, dude? I've been putting a lot of time in here.
#68
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- Soon. It takes time. - I know that it takes time.
#69
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I've been reading up on the subject.
#70
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But maybe we should just take it easy until then.
#71
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- Because of the penis? - There it is. The penis.
#72
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Yes. Because of the pen... Okay, listen. Here's the deal.
#73
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I feel like we make out, and it's great. really great,
#74
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but then things start to get hot and heavy and you scratch me.
#75
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Which is cool. But you're really strong, and it hurts.
#76
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And sometimes, just sometimes, I bump up against it.
#77
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And I just can't handle that.
#78
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Really? Because you seem like you can handle anything.
#79
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I mean, with that body.
#80
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Yeah, I mean, physically, sure.
#81
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I can handle pretty much any situation.
#82
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I do... work out. So...
#83
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You sure do.
#84
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I don't know. He's been in there a long time.
#85
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- You think he's chopping up bodies? - He's not chopping up anything.
#86
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He's not a serial killer. What'd I tell you about that chain saw?
#87
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- You want to take a picture? - No. We're on an invest...
#88
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- Do you have a camera? - Yeah.
#89
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Absolutely then. (laughs)
#90
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How's this look? Does this look cool?
#91
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Hold it closer to your face and look really crazy.
#92
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Like I'm killing somebody? Let me start it
#93
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and get my tongue... There he is. - Put your tongue there.
#94
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- We got ourselves a serial killer. - No, you don't have anything.
#95
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- That's inconclusive, Frank. - He's guilty as sin. Look at him.
#96
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You gotta have hard evidence. You don't have any hard evidence.
#97
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I'll tell you what you do have. You got a camera. Let's snap one off.
#98
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- Like this? - Right.
#99
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Put your tongue closer to the blade.
#100
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Dennis!
#101
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Dee... What the hell are you doing? Get outta here.
#102
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- You're gonna blow my cover. - This seems dangerous.
#103
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That is the point of being here. This is the area
#104
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of the highest concentration of murders by the serial killer.
#105
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I know. That's why I feel like a sitting duck out there.
#106
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You volunteered for this.
#107
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I didn't want to use you as the bait. You do not fit the profile.
#108
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- I fit the profile, Dennis! - That's the right attitude.
#109
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Pull these out or something. You need to look sexy for this guy.
#110
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- Otherwise, he's never gonna... - I just feel
#111
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this is a very inappropriate outfit for how cold it is out here.
#112
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- Is it cold out here? - It's freezing!
#113
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I have a down jacket on, a wool blanket.
#114
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It's a very toasty situation I got back here.
#115
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Get back out there, tiger. You can do it. I believe in you.
#116
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(shivers)
#117
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FRANK: Mac? (knocks)
#118
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Are you in there?
#119
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- We're clear, Charlie. Come on. - This is an illegal search, Frank.
#120
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What's the decorating motif of this place, prison cell?
#121
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I'm pretty sure you need a warrant to be doing this, buddy.
#122
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- Why are you wearing those gloves? - Fingerprints.
#123
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You think I want some Jew lawyer crawling up my ass in six months?
#124
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Objection. Extremely racist, man.
#125
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The guy's innocent, all right? You're poking around,
#126
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but there's no point to it 'cause you're not gonna find anything.
#127
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Oh! #And Bingo was his name-o#
#128
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"The Human Anatomy".
#129
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He's got a half a chapter highlighted
#130
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on the removal of human genitalia.
#131
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What guy hasn't done some extensive research on his own genitalia?
#132
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Don't say "you", buddy, because I woke up
#133
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to you doing some pretty frantic research last night, pal.
#134
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We could go tit for tat on that one. So you better drop that subject.
#135
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All I'm saying is that the book doesn't mean anything.
#136
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You got no evidence! You got no case, Frank.
#137
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- It stinks, that stuff. - This stuff is Drakkar Noir, man.
#138
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Damn, girl. Who you with?
#139
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I think you got the wrong idea. I'm not with anybody.
#140
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Word? Well, lookee here.
#141
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If you get up off that crack rock, you can come Pepper Jack's best ho.
#142
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No. I'm not on any crack rock.
#143
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Okay, one time I was hooked on the crack rock.
#144
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But that was because I was trying to get on welfare and fail a drug test.
#145
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But that stuff, you gotta be careful because it'll mess you.
#146
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Why are you asking? Do you have some on you?
#147
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Hi. I'm sorry. We're trying to conduct a little business here.
#148
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Pepper Jack's trying to conduct some business too. You with this cracker?
#149
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No. Technically, we drove here together. But I'm not with anybody.
#150
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You heard it. Your bitch chose me.
#151
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See now, Pepper Jack, I feel like we're miscommunicating.
#152
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Bitch, you speak when spoken to now.
#153
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No. We're just gonna get out of here. Dee, let's go.
#154
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Now you're not just gonna come here and take Pepper Jack's best ho.
#155
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You want this ho back, Pepper Jack needs to get paid.
#156
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- Are you serious? - Does it look like he playing?
#157
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- I don't think he's playing. - I feel like he isn't playing.
#158
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No, Pepper Jack is not playing. Pepper Jack about to cut somebody.
#159
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- Please don't cut. - No cutting. That's not necessary.
#160
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- How much? - What you got?
#161
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I don't know. Seven bucks and a stupid thermos.
#162
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- Is that "Fraggle Rock"? - Yeah.
#163
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Pepper Jack love "Fraggle Rock".
#164
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I feel like we've been going about this the wrong way.
#165
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You can't just jump into the mind of a serial killer.
#166
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- You need to walk in his shoes. - Right. We need to go deeper.
#167
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We need to eat, breathe and sleep serial killer.
#168
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Go through all of the steps that this guy would
#169
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n order to understand his thoughts. - Yeah. Okay, what's the first step?
#170
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Here's what I think. If I was gonna start mass murdering people,
#171
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I feel like the first thing I would do is pick a victim.
#172
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Right. We need a victim. We need to find somebody
#173
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who we would want to kill. But who?
#174
d0524862-33b6-4670-a218-c2a53230dbc9.gif
- Here you go, Dee. - Thanks.
#175
d233e31d-c1d1-4ac3-9aac-e5658afe4e96.gif
And shithead. Hope you burn your tongue.
#176
cdb7740f-8aba-4c15-97e1-f77010166a9d.gif
- Sit down. - No.
#177
16717e45-4b57-426d-acf9-42990ee33c7e.gif
- What the hell is wrong with you? - What is wrong with me?
#178
d90b66f1-a991-4ed0-a586-ab1f2a51918a.gif
What the hell is wrong with you? I saw you last night!
#179
0036aa15-1148-41f1-932c-df0842842f5e.gif
- You did? - So you admit it?
#180
4747e9f5-a61e-490b-bf35-a74ff2f7ccc8.gif
- Yeah. - Don't ever admit it, Mac!
#181
c86b9490-d659-4272-9ec6-4c74be15f685.gif
It makes my job that much harder. You gotta quit this thing, buddy.
#182
703ed314-4bf5-492e-8cc9-ca5c693b3d30.gif
I tried, dude. But it's like a drug.
#183
7c3eaf32-c749-47ea-b2b7-1405b6f221bd.gif
I just get wrapped up in the moment and boom, it just happens.
#184
659e223b-22a3-4179-8bd8-6134e43a2650.gif
I don't care what your sick and twisted reasons are.
#185
3436b2dd-68db-49ce-b827-956be3fffb88.gif
- Who else knows about this? - Nobody. Just her.
#186
8efbc4ce-a9c8-4cac-959f-61d5ffa9d989.gif
- She won't be a problem. - She ain't gonna tell anybody.
#187
67a865b7-6ab8-4d5f-bec2-9b7c4a8f354d.gif
- Frank's onto you. - Frank knows?
#188
7ab42f5c-981e-466d-9f37-d3665d19875c.gif
- He's sniffing around. - Goddamn it.
#189
d9c27c6e-328f-4198-88e1-e039c83ee995.gif
He's gonna come at you, and he's gonna come at you hard!
#190
d6fe0590-81a8-44ad-944f-efaaa655a728.gif
Here's what you gotta do. You gotta deny.
#191
e88930d4-c14c-4db0-8aa1-00453b744b8b.gif
- Deny. Just deny it. - Deny.
#192
f1cd8e31-9514-4ff1-8de7-5bc181c131f8.gif
- You just deny it. - If you deny something,
#193
edbce34b-ec6d-4798-b027-3cd6c7e376b6.gif
t means it never happened. - It never happened.
#194
2d27f27d-4550-4bb4-a12b-d4bc14f71325.gif
You gotta promise me something here, buddy. You gotta stop.
#195
2397df46-e5c8-46c5-81d0-f3d3d88f7de8.gif
That's gonna be a bit of an issue. I don't know if I can promise that.
#196
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- Are you serious? - I want to stop.
#197
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We're gonna get you the help.
#198
95de4d18-8246-45f5-8518-8a01a50dd374.gif
But you gotta give me the time to build your case.
#199
e9d0023f-0f2d-4db2-a4b6-e15b6ce9798a.gif
To help your defense out.
#200
4c8ff74b-cfee-4a54-8856-cbec0ea8f30e.gif
(music) (humming "Law and Order" theme)
#201
d2f49248-7b1f-4fb7-906d-8fccda1688fa.gif
I gotta do my thing. And then... (music) (humming)
#202
4c71a767-5280-4dc6-9c77-94d80866a163.gif
(music) (both humming)
#203
10a5b058-1052-4aef-ac23-e990667ef22e.gif
And then I do some moves.
#204
d8b9bdf2-295d-4ba2-8e26-35d00b2a069d.gif
- Yeah. I'm into it. - Okay.
#205
db87f7d8-5104-4031-a7c2-acc74db48bca.gif
What does that have anything to do with what we're talking about?
#206
b2808374-3fef-42a1-ada2-291f6dbf0a56.gif
- Lawyer stuff. - It's a great show.
#207
4ae72814-2418-417a-b597-14f4fb4a1b7c.gif
- Are you gonna help me? - Yeah, man.
#208
4081c9c9-29b5-4c47-a5e8-da32c6c07c0a.gif
- Are you wearing my Drakkar? - Accusations.
#209
31a7214a-9ac2-4ad5-8c58-cda0f8610f27.gif
- Those are no good. - It's my favorite...
#210
bc2c4e49-58c2-4f43-aba2-c0c3f0bfae40.gif
(music) (humming)
#211
fbbed192-188e-40dd-b313-06d27a7e0959.gif
- This is a bad idea. - No. We need killing tools.
#212
39c6fcce-8c90-4aad-88c9-661934702d02.gif
But you're not using your head. This is serial killing 101.
#213
53da7405-02af-4c70-aebc-b663610f0bc5.gif
You don't buy anything that can be traced back to you.
#214
aa00150c-7a05-44de-bd0b-4f4c5fedf3fe.gif
We're not buying anything.
#215
9a04eb3e-46d3-4170-bd66-433c60e7aaa0.gif
My neighbor Gary works here. He is desperately in love with me.
#216
981a74ae-ec60-4b16-ad13-92f330dd8113.gif
We need killing tools, he needs me to smile at him.
#217
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We're gonna take whatever we want. There's gonna be no paper trail.
#218
ecebc530-a045-4e26-a977-acf2a5ddb437.gif
That works. I wonder if they have painter's overalls.
#219
b7a874f8-8c3e-4eea-89dd-b51fc7a3487c.gif
- How come? - My guy's a painter.
#220
037bdfba-1334-4b85-b630-eb820f5026f8.gif
I go from house to house gaining very easy access to my victims.
#221
368083b3-afd3-4ea9-93c7-3e0ab48b4bd4.gif
And more importantly, gaining their trust.
#222
f3c4a6f3-8256-4fa2-b5a0-17d9cbc83479.gif
- Who's your guy? - Psycho clown.
#223
0f998e38-84e2-45ec-9590-9ba986fa0435.gif
- Psycho clown? - Yeah. I like to dress like a clown
#224
607ced2c-0198-491a-ad20-76f7682a5501.gif
when I slaughter. Now help me grab some killing tools.
#225
6676c687-a265-4578-8de9-de5a947a7eaa.gif
The serial killer's probably not a psycho clown, Dee.
#226
e9c7ecc9-449c-48d7-8b63-9d2d85c8983b.gif
What do you think of these gardening shears?
#227
0b27d66a-3093-4192-82a4-c332b75a722f.gif
I like those gardening shears. But do they cut through bone?
#228
aeab81c7-5667-49ba-8de7-262ffb8932df.gif
Yeah. That's a good question. Hey, Gary.
#229
46273e54-db12-464b-9f3d-5b3d8c269b14.gif
(banging objects) These shears cut through bone?
#230
054ac2de-b68c-4e18-96ba-39b61d000764.gif
- Yeah. I guess. - Yeah, I thought so.
#231
78fa4225-7862-4da5-b62a-8a63ccfab697.gif
Gary, my brother and I, we're gonna take these shears.
#232
6f073a03-8cb4-44e0-9f63-97a16bb5a689.gif
But we're gonna take 'em on the hush-hush.
#233
fbdc104e-186e-40b7-823a-9ff86e42cb17.gif
- What? - For free.
#234
064085ae-38c2-4c1b-9d99-4a0d9a80d9e7.gif
- Okay. - Okay.
#235
8930f64d-c890-4329-8999-3187c55a1074.gif
Get back to work. There you go.
#236
5ce9c812-6fd4-4207-b41c-94d302a0d084.gif
- That guy's a pussy. - Yeah, spineless.
#237
3ef3bb4f-3046-49ff-af11-3996146a197d.gif
Hello.
#238
c1e9ca1b-88ad-4abd-8005-f2c8902436df.gif
- Messy. Very messy. - Too messy.
#239
4253410e-f67b-411f-9625-c9ac38765d32.gif
Do you mind if my associate and I ask you a couple questions?
#240
0357ef54-4a56-4dd0-941a-b65c0fc9ae7e.gif
Don't feel compelled to answer any of them, Mrs. Mac.
#241
9b6d0214-2dae-4623-9ea1-4078cf6fb311.gif
- I'll record this conversation. - You want a fresh cigarette?
#242
65290ecd-aaaf-4022-84fd-260821e29102.gif
- Here, here. - Yeah.
#243
656f8faa-8e5c-457e-b98a-29836e1accf8.gif
- I notice you like cherry pie. - Cut the chitchat.
#244
f200a11f-bc96-4c23-9697-44a0edfe419d.gif
My client's clearly a busy woman. Ask your questions.
#245
a7e0cd36-126e-4903-9f10-06d156dd1b09.gif
In your opinion, ma'am, was your son an angry child?
#246
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Objection. Leading.
#247
90320188-548d-400d-885b-1ad15154646a.gif
Did he ever exhibit any hatred toward women?
#248
2c22f2dd-c01a-459f-8f37-f234e848bd14.gif
Irrelevant questioning.
#249
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Do you think he was raised in a dysfunctional family?
#250
b75b6504-2d88-4df8-aa33-562fbb1214b5.gif
- Move to strike. - What are you talking about?
#251
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Ask her fair questions! I'll give you one question,
#252
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and then we're out of here! One question.
#253
52191940-465e-4e3f-8950-52f6d25c1e75.gif
You think your son's out there killing people?
#254
860baff1-2d84-4d71-a933-f96a67037872.gif
Yeah.
#255
f3589bb6-e3a6-4d5a-80b1-ddf9aa6da5a7.gif
- That's it, lady! - Damn it!
#256
39d85be5-675e-4e4d-a329-016d29cdf071.gif
- You just buried me! - Chain saw serial killer.
#257
43417ebb-5e66-4bc3-aaf2-e9c38fd88455.gif
You buried me. That's my whole case! I'll be in touch.
#258
906cf46e-9156-4989-b6a2-ecedd1cf143e.gif
You actually dressed like a clown. You're gonna draw so much attention.
#259
ea8f9c54-a398-402c-ae4c-80f2500fe390.gif
DEE: I thought we were getting into the killer's shoes.
#260
5b9aae21-b0a1-4f56-af78-bb9051fa93d2.gif
But the killer's not a psycho clown. That's only in movies, stupid ones.
#261
f7fc4174-2c34-4ad4-969c-344824a4d4d3.gif
Really? John Wayne Gacy? He was a psycho clown.
#262
8fe0ecd5-3b8f-4a6b-8d2f-3be922557b70.gif
- He was an excellent one. - Come on, Dee.
#263
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Actually, you're right. He was pretty... Here she comes.
#264
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This is the fun part. This is the part that we've been working up to.
#265
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This is what all the work has been for. We're gonna follow our victim.
#266
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And then we're gonna jump her. And then I'm gonna strangle her
#267
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and you're gonna chop her into pieces.
#268
bbacb108-363e-493c-aa59-8c764744d3ac.gif
Okay, but what are we really gonna do?
#269
31783de9-e768-4543-943e-8b9f16092c80.gif
We're not really gonna kill her. What are we gonna do?
#270
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Yeah, shit. That's a bummer. Yeah, you're right.
#271
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Let's just follow her for a little. We'll throw a good scare into her.
#272
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- Figure out what to do later. - That's just not fun.
#273
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- No. I know. It's good enough. - Okay.
#274
f1bd194e-7a0b-48b9-aef4-ae476d5b6391.gif
(clown shoes squeaking)
#275
deb3c519-4d7a-4f2b-932b-3b17be86bf1e.gif
(clown shoes squeaking)
#276
b2482ceb-4a9f-4527-9f0c-0a07bd4e3926.gif
(squeaking stops)
#277
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(squeaking resumes)
#278
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(screaming) (both screaming)
#279
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Oh, my God. My eyes feel like fire.
#280
5f97244e-9861-4886-9c23-380d013d5661.gif
If you hadn't been squeaking around like a goddamn psycho clown,
#281
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she never would've noticed us. - No, this is not my fault.
#282
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Everything we do is backfiring. We need a new plan.
#283
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- But what's the plan? What? - We need a confession.
#284
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- What the hell are you doing? - I'm spying.
#285
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And I got good news. I know the killer is Mac.
#286
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I got hard evidence. I got a confession from his mother.
#287
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- I just realized something. - What?
#288
888a3ba9-0d76-46ee-a0d0-2782b09a3790.gif
- I know who the killer is. - You do?
#289
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Yes. Oh, my God. Dee, the real serial killer is Mac.
#290
e0fd3b03-537f-484b-a28e-f2c5b841efe2.gif
(gasps) That's what I just said.
#291
5e9fcef8-8c85-426e-85d0-afe6b6fdc635.gif
- How did we not see it earlier? - I don't know.
#292
e398b539-6693-473e-914d-1463c2f9b884.gif
Whatever! I got a plan.
#293
8e46b21a-46ab-469c-8515-c51d79be1e77.gif
We gotta set a trap. We're gonna get a confession.
#294
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But first, we gotta lure him in on the phone.
#295
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Hold that thought, Frank. I just came up with a plan.
#296
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We need to set a trap and get a confession from him.
#297
e6b123dd-f652-48ae-a293-980b5b421b83.gif
- We gotta lure him in on the phone. - Yes!
#298
4ba7a456-f03b-4f2b-a18c-6b05fb5a4cbe.gif
- Are you shitting me? - Dee, can you do a girl's voice?
#299
c57117aa-a5cf-48f2-80ed-3e18c73f16a0.gif
Well, this was fun. Right?
#300
21b36d66-4467-47e2-b7fc-0cc074a6b8da.gif
Now I'm gonna go. Same time tomorrow?
#301
d65960fc-b5db-417c-af68-3e815f151a30.gif
Well, maybe we could go out or something.
#302
06639a5f-30c9-4c47-8810-102cbd97cdcc.gif
You know, to a restaurant. Or to your bar.
#303
c96dc437-a407-4c55-8ea3-1c7b386d4277.gif
Yeah, that's not gonna work.
#304
54dd5b0c-dea9-4700-b530-578425c89df2.gif
I'm getting tired of this.
#305
f0263bd9-4c29-47a5-866c-89f25430ef46.gif
I feel like you're afraid that people will see us together.
#306
e7e7cfee-d561-41f6-b985-4ac1d0920f78.gif
No. I don't care if people see us together.
#307
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I don't want them to think that we're dating.
#308
79dda4fb-9c45-4dfb-b982-995b633eaa48.gif
We are dating!
#309
21fa1184-8188-4b59-ba37-87c840cf02aa.gif
I don't think it's too much to ask for you to keep this quiet,
#310
48192d4c-60cf-4bce-94c7-657bec3d939a.gif
considering your condition. It's not like I'm ashamed of you.
#311
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I'm ashamed of myself.
#312
2907ef60-7236-4cdd-a000-7cc90aab0601.gif
It's over. I don't know what happened, man, but it's over.
#313
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- What's over? Did you go back? - Of course I went back, Charlie.
#314
9cb489a3-11f4-43ae-92ee-60e22a69bbec.gif
I told you not to go back. You're digging me a pretty big hole here!
#315
cfffe42b-cfcf-4990-8dd4-2489f29cc5da.gif
It doesn't matter, because she won't talk to me anymore, dude.
#316
36f9d411-1cf7-4665-be11-248365df646c.gif
That's interesting. She talks... When did you start hearing voices?
#317
b3d581d3-c620-4e9e-8028-0201f80f6d2c.gif
That could actually help us. (ringing)
#318
32ed78c7-44d0-4d15-b1dd-7dd0b2f72738.gif
- What's the I.D.? - Private. Should I answer it?
#319
ee8e7d31-be1c-4bf5-93a8-ac4e9262104e.gif
Yeah. I'll allow it. Go.
#320
b12d9d66-5eea-40c3-87da-5b71be84f28f.gif
Hello?
#321
7f3b8c5c-9559-40ef-bc20-d2469b3dcf2f.gif
Okay. Could you hold on one second?
#322
e5f98df2-9967-47c8-846d-5d91431d8447.gif
Some chick named Sandy. She said we met at the bar the other night.
#323
f6297873-0805-4050-8a7b-713116d1e8be.gif
- Speakerphone. For this?. - Okay.
#324
b85d567b-7f7f-49ac-b379-e2b1e879aab8.gif
- Hey, Sandy. What's crackin'? - This is Mac, right?
#325
8a4423b9-8b69-4f43-87da-093b44bd01a6.gif
Good-looking guy, great sense of humor, really bulky?
#326
1253084b-382a-4241-89bd-ee2122c99e7e.gif
- More ripped. - Strike that.
#327
ac7f95d5-4bfc-4a0f-98f7-b5a7e12ff7c7.gif
- Jacked. - Irrelevant.
#328
058257b0-6e49-4458-95b0-69d6c3e85ab0.gif
- Toned. - Exaggeration.
#329
da1b7445-8a67-44bc-b210-8b96e8d6b0df.gif
- I work out. - I'll allow it.
#330
e64b8b90-066e-49b9-95e5-6d20630ca77a.gif
- Okay. That's me. - Listen. I was thinking,
#331
30f39cdf-820f-4f0b-9b2c-d8b600267dee.gif
maybe you should come over to my place tonight.
#332
b32188b5-2a8e-480e-95ec-504c525d002e.gif
There's no one here. I'm all alone.
#333
b1004cc6-fc55-419a-9500-c47fb7902051.gif
- Could you come take care of me? - I'll allow it.
#334
cf1604c4-e47a-4252-954b-090dd0ec5ae0.gif
Yeah. I can take care of you.
#335
5a5fccb6-c87c-46f5-9253-6182f0bdb917.gif
- Then I'll see you at my place. - Great. I'll see you tonight.
#336
9a33431d-66bf-429e-8c7d-d03b27610c74.gif
I'll allow it.
#337
ae6686fc-82cf-4270-9b75-0ffc06b65ec6.gif
We got him.
#338
d57b66df-c3a6-4de8-a969-02731bc0fbb9.gif
Let's get the video camera and get the hell outta here.
#339
6239d81d-f977-4308-a314-1f82b95046bc.gif
- Where are we going? - To catch a predator.
#340
9e6ddcd2-df3a-43b0-ab7b-ad6b8e8e8e16.gif
- Whose apartment is this? - My friend Gary's.
#341
028b4bca-952e-4684-8a71-a18b5d84f713.gif
- Gary, the hardware store guy? - Yeah. He's, like, never here.
#342
9790e931-7365-45c6-a3fe-eb10b14b6a14.gif
- Why do you have his keys? - 'Cause he asked me
#343
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to water his plants when he's out of town.
#344
4725b15b-fc1f-4554-90c6-b225f435e942.gif
- All of his plants are dead. - I don't do it.
#345
206f4dc4-19ba-4835-9da5-df4d3c04411b.gif
- I'm gonna go oil my chain saw. - What?
#346
222c2064-9206-494e-a4ad-2f5a7cafaa7d.gif
We don't need the chain saw. Is that what's in that bag?
#347
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We do. Because drawing a confession out of someone
#348
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s like doing a beautiful dance.
#349
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A beautiful dance with a chain saw.
#350
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- He makes no sense. - I don't get it at all.
#351
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- Let's set up. - Yep.
#352
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Gettin' laid tonight. "Come on in. I am horny".
#353
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Giddyap. Hello?
#354
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- Sandy? - Hey, come on in.
#355
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Have a seat. I made you some cookies.
#356
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I'm just in here changing into my bikini.
#357
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- Really? Can I come back? - Uh-uh.
#358
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Got the wine coolers.
#359
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Yummy. Did you bring any condoms?
#360
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Not really into the whole condom thing.
#361
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- Hello, Mac. How are you? - What are you doing, dude?
#362
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Why don't you have a seat, enjoy a cookie, have some iced tea.
#363
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- Okay. - Who are you here to see?
#364
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- My friend Sandy. - Sandy. Sandy?
#365
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Is Sandy a young, attractive, blonde girl?
#366
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- I have no idea. - Sandy?
#367
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Why don't you come out here, please?
#368
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Why hello, Mac.
#369
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- Not so young and attractive? - What?
#370
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- Must be a big disappointment. - What is going on here?
#371
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- What were you planning on doing? - What do you think?
#372
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According to this phone transcript, Mac,
#373
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you were going to "take care of her"?
#374
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- Yeah. Take care of her. - "The Human Anatomy".
#375
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- How about a little light reading? - What are you doing with my book?
#376
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- You know where I got it, Mac. - Tie him up!
#377
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- Come on, Frank. - Tie me up? Jesus Christ!
#378
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- Get the camera away from me! DENNIS: Before you go...
#379
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You can't keep running from this. You gotta face this head on!
#380
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I'm gonna get you off this. Don't be afraid to show me your ugly side.
#381
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All right. Put that away, Frank. You don't need a chain saw.
#382
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You're talking to an innocent man.
#383
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I'm gonna ask you now 'cause I'm tired and hungry.
#384
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I want to go home. I want to wash my hands of this whole stinking mess.
#385
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Did you or did you not snap into an alternate and distinct personality
#386
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causing you to go on a serial killing rampage?
#387
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- What? No. - What? Yes, you did. You...
#388
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All right, Mac. You're crazy, right? You're a crazy person.
#389
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Sometimes you're two people. Let's see the other guy. Let him out.
#390
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- Let who out? - The serial killer, Mac!
#391
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- Let the serial killer out! - I'm not a serial killer!
#392
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- Then why all the shady behavior? - I've been banging the tranny!
#393
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- I didn't want you to find out. - No. You're trying to... What?
#394
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- Ew. - Oh.
#395
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- I don't even know how that works. - It's complicated. There's a lot...
#396
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- She tapes it back. - Oh, my God, man.
#397
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- I've been reading up and... - Wait.
#398
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Dude, wait. So you're not the serial killer?
#399
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- No. - I just won this case.
#400
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You're a free man. You're not a serial killer.
#401
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See, when I came in... And I was doing...
#402
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You guys don't even get it, do you? I'm gonna get a beer.
#403
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Dee, do you think this guy's got any beer in his fridge?
#404
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No. There's a bunch of severed heads in there.
#405
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- ALL: What? There's about 15 severed heads
#406
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n there, I'd say.
#407
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(gasps)
#408
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- Yeah. - There's heads in there.
#409
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- There's a lot of heads in there. - A shitload of heads.
#410
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- We're in the killer's apartment? - Yes!
#411
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- Neighbor Gary? - Gary.
#412
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- Oh, my God. - I don't know who Gary is.
#413
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(keys jangling) Wait.
#414
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I think I hear keys.
#415
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(door unlocking)
#416
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What are you people doing in my apartment?
#417
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(chain saw revs)
#418