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Home » It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia » S03E09 — Sweet Dee's Dating a Retarded Person

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Season 3, Episode 9 — Sweet Dee's Dating a Retarded Person

TMDB episode metadata
Show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Episode title: Sweet Dee's Dating a Retarded Person
Air date: October 11, 2007
Director: Jerry Levine
Top billed cast: Charlie Day, Glenn Howerton, Rob Mac, Kaitlin Olson, Danny DeVito
Dee gets involved with a famous local rapper who might be mentally challenged, and whose success inspires the rest of the gang to start a band.
Source: TMDB
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MAC: Dee's bringing another boyfriend?
anotherboyfriendbringingdees
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DENNIS: She won't shut up about this one. He's a local rapper.
dennislocalrapper
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- He's like some hotshot rapper. - What's his name?
hotshotnamerapper
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- Lil' Jeff. Lil' Joe. - It's was Jonathan, Little Michael.
jeffjonathanmichael
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- Lil' Kev? - Lil' Kev.
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Shit. I've heard about him. He's a local celebrity.
celebrityheardlocal
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- He's the next Eminem. - What is he?
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- Like a small guy or little guy? - No, probably not.
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I think it's just a rapper thing. Lil' Kim.
rapper
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You never know though. He could have a little hand
hand
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or a little foot or something. - I doubt he'd want
doubtfoot
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to call attention to that by calling himself Lil' Kev.
attentioncalling
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- Biggie Smalls was fat. - Yeah. He was big and small.
biggie
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His head was small, but his body was big.
bodyhead
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So this guy could have a little hand and a giant body.
bodygianthand
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What's up, hos? I'd like you to meet somebody.
meetsomebody
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Kevin, these are the clowns I work with.
clownskevin
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This your crew, baby?
babycrew
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Girl, you silly. They ain't no clowns. What up, fellas?
aintclownsfellasgirlsilly
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- What's up, man? - Hey, man. How's it going?
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I got to get back to the studio, but I'll holler at you later, okay?
hollerstudio
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- Yo, later, fellas. - See ya, man.
fellas
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Boom. Yep, you're seein' it.
boom
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Dee, does that guy have a little hand?
hand
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Charlie, I was gonna say his foot looks small.
charliefoot
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CHARLIE: Nah. It's possible. The shoes were the same size,
charliepossibleshoessize
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but his hand was like... (grunts)
gruntshand
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He doesn't have a little hand or a little foot.
foothand
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- Did that guy go to Waldron? - I don't know.
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- Is his name Kevin Gallagher? - Yes.
kevinname
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- No, that guy's retarded. - You're retarded.
retarded
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He is an actual retarded person. We went to elementary school together.
actualelementaryelementary-schoolpersonretardedschool
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He used to take classes outside school. He rode the short bus.
classesrodeschoolshortused
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Whatever. You think I wouldn't know if the guy I'm dating is retarded?
datingretarded
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There is no way I am dating a retarded person.
datingpersonretarded
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But he's so tough and popular and famous.
famouspopulartough
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- He's a successful musician. - Jesus, sweetie.
jesusmusiciansuccessfulsweetie
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- The guy might be retarded. - Yeah, but he might not be.
mightretarded
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Plus, he gives me things. Did you guys see this necklace?
givesnecklaceplus
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It's got diamonds in it. I gotta think about this.
diamonds
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Come take a look at my elementary school yearbook sometime, Dee.
elementaryelementary-schoolschoolsometimeyearbook
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- He's retarded. - I'm getting an idea.
idearetarded
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- Charlie, follow me on this one. - Okay.
charliefollow
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Retarded or not... Clearly there's something off about that guy.
retarded
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- That guy's very messed up. - No, I'm saying he's retarded.
messedretarded
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Yeah, whatever. But he's an up-and-coming musician.
comingmusician
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I mean, he's really building a following in this city.
buildingcityfollowing
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- He's like the next Eminem. - He's supposed to be big.
supposed
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Okay. So, if he can do it, why can't we?
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I can't argue that logic, man. What are you suggesting?
arguelogicsuggesting
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I'm thinking we start a band. Holy shit. Yeah!
bandholystartthinking
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- Yeah? Let's do it! - We're in a band!
band
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I've always wanted to be a rock god. If he's getting chicks...
chicksrockwanted
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- Why are you "ooh, ooh-ing" me? - You're not in it.
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Why am I not in it? I have a great voice.
voice
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You do have a great voice. You have an excellent voice.
excellentvoice
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But the problem is you're into all that early '80s glam rock fem shit,
earlyproblemrock
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and it's not the artistic direction I want to take the band in.
artisticbanddirection
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Artistic direction? You guys don't even play instruments.
artisticdirectioninstruments
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That doesn't matter, does it?
matter
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Because it's all about rocking and looking cool and kicking ass.
coolkickinglookingrocking
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I think he's right. It's all about image and marketing.
imagemarketing
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There's no bands out there with any musical ability.
abilitybandsmusical
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Frank, I like the way you think. You're in the band.
bandfrank
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(stammering)
stammering
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- Dude, don't overreact about it. - Frank, get out that checkbook.
frankoverreact
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You're gonna buy us some instruments.
instruments
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Yeah, brother. That's a hot guitar.
brotherguitar
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You got graphite reinforced neck, 35-inch scale, two humbuckers...
inchneckreinforcedscale
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Move over six inches.
inches
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Yeah.
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- So I was saying... - Shut up.
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Soak it in.
soak
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So I was saying, graphite reinforced neck,
neckreinforced
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35-inch scale... - That's the one.
inchscale
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(music) (blues)
bluesmusic
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- Check it out. It's like a weapon. - Cool, bro.
checkcoolweapon
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Holy shit. Where did you learn how to play like that?
holylearn
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Keyboards just make sense to me. I get 'em, you know?
sense
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Charlie, you're amazing. You're gonna be our ace in the hole.
amazingcharliehole
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- Can I talk to you for a second? - Sure.
second
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Any way that I can be in the back of the stage
stage
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or behind some kind of curtain? - Why?
behindcurtain
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- Can I bare my soul to you? - Of course, buddy.
barebuddycoursecourse-buddysoul
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This is huge for me. I've always wanted to do this.
hugewanted
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This is a big deal. I've just always been afraid
afraiddeal
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that people are gonna boo me or they're gonna hate me.
hate
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It's why I've never pursued my dreams. So, if that happens,
dreamshappens
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t's gonna crush me, I'm gonna crumble,
crush
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I'm gonna fall to pieces, I'm gonna scream.
fallpiecesscream
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- You're not listening. - Totally.
listening
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Dude, I think we should do a Sex Pistols thing, right?
pistols
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Where I'm Sid Vicious and you're Johnny Rotten.
johnnyrottenvicious
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- I'm Simon and you're Garfunkel. - No. You're Axl. I'm Slash.
garfunkelsimonslash
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No. I'm Holland Oates. You're Peter Gabriel.
peter
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Hall and Oates is two separate people.
hallseparate
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No. Holland is his first name and Oates is his last name, dude.
name
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Whatever, dude. I just wanna kick ass.
kick
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- You with that bald guy? - Yeah.
bald
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Get him out of here or I'm calling the cops.
callingcops
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(music) (random banging)
bangingmusicrandom
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I'm taking these.
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There he is. Good old Special K. He is drooling on himself.
droolingspecial
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So what? He's seven in this yearbook.
sevenyearbook
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If I'm gonna break up with this guy, I need some proof.
breakproof
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Dee, you're free to date whoever you want, okay?
datefree
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You should know whether or not you're gold-digging a retarded guy.
digginggoldretardedwhether
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Number one, I'm not gold-digging anybody. I really like this guy.
anybodydigginggoldnumber
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And second of all, this doesn't prove that he's retarded.
proveretardedsecond
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- You want proof? - I want proof.
proof
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- When are you seeing him next? - I'm picking him up in an hour.
hourpickingseeing
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- You're picking him up? - He doesn't drive.
drivepicking
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That's funny, 'cause people who aren't retarded usually drive.
drivefunnyretardedusually
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Retarded one. Normal zero.
normalretardedzero
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Not bad, Dennis. Nice neighborhood. Owns his own house. Three stories.
dennishouseneighborhoodownsstoriesthree
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Looks like it's retarded one, normal one.
normalretarded
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Yes?
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Hi. I think we have the wrong address.
address
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- Are you Dee? - Yeah. Who are you?
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I'm Kevin's mom. Come on in.
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Lives with his mom. I think I'll be taking that point back.
livespoint
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Kevin's in his room. Go on up if you like.
room
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Thank you, Mrs. Gallagher. You must be very proud of your son.
mustproud
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- He has overcome difficult odds. - Yes, he has.
difficultoddsovercome
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- You're talking about the rapping. - Excuse me?
excuserapping
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Those odds, you're talking about his rapping career.
careeroddsrapping
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- I guess. - Mrs. Gallagher,
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would you describe your son as a "special" guy?
describespecial
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- No, you can't do that. - Why can't I do that?
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Because he's her son. Of course he's special. That's an easy yes.
courseeasyspecial
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- You think he's special, right? - Yes.
special
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- That means nothing to me. - That means a whole lot.
whole
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Retarded three, normal zero.
normalretardedthreezero
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Hold on. How come you got that point? That was my point.
point
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- Retarded two, normal one. - She practically came out
normalpracticallyretarded
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and told us he was retarded. Retarded four, normal zero.
fournormalretardedzero
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Where'd four come from? It's definitely not four.
fourwhered
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There's the driving, the drooling in the yearbook,
drivingdroolingyearbook
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the overcoming the odds, the living with the mom
livingodds
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and now the special thing. It's not four. It's five.
fivefourspecial
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Are you the point king? It's retarded three, normal one.
kingnormalpointretardedthree
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There's so much more retarded stuff that...
retardedstuff
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What's up?
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- Hey! - You brought your crew, baby.
babybroughtcrew
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This is my brother, Dennis, and he's gonna give us a ride.
brotherdennisride
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- Snap! What up, son? - Hey.
snap
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I didn't know we were doing all that.
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I gotta grab a couple of things. Be ready to "riz-zoll".
couplegrabready
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That's retard strength if I've ever seen it.
retardseenstrength
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Shut your mouth.
mouth
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(music) (cacophony)
music
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Go!
↓
05eac68e-78ec-4fc6-9ca5-c978b99a0609.gif
Go! Go!
↓
335e631f-a94d-4511-bef8-1e54a068fdf8.gif
All right, stop! Stop! Why are you not singing?
singing
↓
2efd7b89-cbb3-44ef-9543-1a758c0f7948.gif
It doesn't sound very good. (chuckles)
chucklessound
↓
65c9d2ac-6df6-4ef2-9fda-121417ec0b42.gif
- Then huff some glue, bro. - I've been huffing glue, guys.
gluehuff
↓
aa7c81d1-cba8-4bc3-be8b-25ca59874731.gif
- Then growl into the microphone. - No. This is...
growlmicrophone
↓
8aabd4e7-6506-490d-8715-dbee7e0928ec.gif
I don't even wanna growl. I'm not a growler.
growl
↓
fbe1636c-0d50-41ae-9762-10eb2ee14fec.gif
- Band meeting! - We need to have a band meeting!
bandmeeting
↓
7207e928-3d5b-4d7c-891d-fbec8c6c7453.gif
Hold on a minute!
minute
↓
3722e57f-307c-4c9c-a921-566125aeaa73.gif
We're sittin' around here practicin' like a bunch of pansies!
bunch
↓
6575bb31-e8fc-408f-b635-dcdfeb793f5c.gif
We should be out gettin' wasted and breakin' shit!
breakingettinwasted
↓
b90e0da9-b6f5-4156-b0dd-dcf3537e5029.gif
Frank's absolutely right. How can we be rock stars
absolutelyfranksrockrock-starsstars
↓
a4f532db-6ffc-4517-9245-ebda3faa5708.gif
f we're not living like rock stars?
livingrockrock-starsstars
↓
4db76dcf-e3fc-4ee7-9fbd-14cb75ffba35.gif
If we live like rock stars, the music will come!
livemusicrockrock-starsstars
↓
e64d2b34-680f-425c-bbbc-e147af03d52d.gif
Stop, dude! What are you doing?
↓
4cc21445-a0e0-4707-a16e-fcf4f9d91b19.gif
- That's my good chair. - That's your good chair?
chair
↓
095abee9-546c-4a89-809c-a1b66ec117f2.gif
- Yeah. - It's covered in bird shit.
birdcovered
↓
e9f9f16b-e60a-4906-a281-da813428303a.gif
- No. That's toothpaste, man. - That's clearly bird shit.
birdtoothpaste
↓
c5fb1af0-14f3-442e-83c3-1fe5440a968d.gif
- No, it's not. It's toothpaste. - Do you even own a toothbrush?
toothbrushtoothpaste
↓
28d9920a-3360-42d6-a032-3f0e1a4d0c94.gif
- Don't break my chair. - Oh, my God!
breakchair
↓
a2195f2e-87db-439c-8977-456fe0a7047c.gif
Wait a minute. Charlie is right.
charlieminute
↓
78c64e0b-2dbd-4e1c-83cb-150c0302ffe7.gif
We should not be breaking our own shit.
breaking
↓
507fc038-671b-4ff0-b9ae-f5931dc928be.gif
We should be out there breaking other people's shit.
breakingpeoples
↓
fbf79773-9b78-4c94-b10c-71b7df4bc816.gif
That's rock and roll.
rockroll
↓
4947875f-4d0f-4b3f-baa2-f418429693a9.gif
(shouting) Yeah!
shouting
↓
d4b974f9-2300-488a-8173-930264eebbc4.gif
That's what I'm talking about! You feeling better, Charlie?
charliefeeling
↓
764a8a2b-86d3-4a4e-b497-13353c39dbf4.gif
Keep smashing things, guys! It's a ripple effect!
effectsmashing
↓
9166e79e-ea19-4364-85ce-c34b63d51cb4.gif
How'd you guys get a hotel room without putting a credit card down?
cardcreditcredit-cardhotelhotel-roomhowdputtingroom
↓
51b8cf17-e44d-4a25-ad48-53744844570b.gif
We did use a credit card. I took it out of your wallet.
cardcreditcredit-cardwallet
↓
e78cabda-4186-40e8-8343-d9cade46228b.gif
(lamp shatters) Wait.
lampshatters
↓
c4a77cce-9b30-42a7-9eff-387f309e9815.gif
- My credit card's at the desk? - Yeah.
cardscreditcredit-cardsdesk
↓
449ac58e-2b8d-4529-8fa8-9632f8bd274b.gif
We're smashing up a hotel room with my credit card down at the desk?
cardcreditcredit-carddeskhotelhotel-roomroomsmashing
↓
448b6e30-a7a5-4141-a7b5-0bf66c173e0f.gif
Why would you do that?
↓
96fce99d-c1da-4ee6-ab7b-cc826f353ebd.gif
They don't let you book a hotel room without putting down a credit card.
bookcardcreditcredit-cardhotelhotel-roomputtingroom
↓
525bc3f0-9494-49e0-90b8-44b26b903b6b.gif
What year do you think it is? (chuckling)
chuckling
↓
eaf8e3d1-f86e-47ba-b584-4e028eaa2e95.gif
We gotta put this stuff back together again.
stuff
↓
b1e9dfd8-ba6a-4026-90e1-efb86dacaaf9.gif
- Charlie, you gotta get the glue. - Glue is for huffing, dude.
charlieglue
↓
650f8852-f333-4c80-a2a7-18d9772b86e3.gif
- Get me the glue! - It's a part of his process.
gluepartprocess
↓
e5bb5907-e21e-4f2f-8beb-52b952fa147d.gif
This is not rock and roll!
rockroll
↓
c574f3d2-cff4-445a-b25d-fe4d39ddc0e9.gif
(music) (orchestral) (Kevin laughing)
kevinlaughingmusicorchestral
↓
1928d39f-2d47-406b-b513-945961ed490f.gif
This shit is funny! You like this movie?
funnymovie
↓
2e148fc9-9263-4af5-a1fa-cd1ba1deaf9b.gif
- Your shirt's on backwards. - What?
backwardsshirts
↓
6762ac1c-1c61-4e1e-be73-c75172a19cf4.gif
Snap! It is.
snap
↓
11796061-3d0d-4f74-8816-10516fcd755f.gif
Look! (laughing)
laughing
↓
b03f7a81-9f3a-474a-a8b3-17e0564587d9.gif
(laughing continues)
continueslaughinglaughing-continues
↓
55873f59-6641-427d-8778-3430b57bf142.gif
We need to break up.
break
↓
76cfe73e-0c53-469c-8c32-92d2476ee8ee.gif
(music) (ends)
endsmusicmusic-ends
↓
a5a1c66d-ad2d-40dd-b293-3f107d39d360.gif
Yes, sir. Yes, sir!
↓
c8fdb868-dc30-4a5c-9d73-94388a9e400a.gif
- Where's your suit? - I'm not wearing the suit, Frank,
franksuitwearing
↓
ae4f9fc7-bea1-406c-820f-e806a9363f77.gif
because it's lame, and you look like a pussy.
lamepussy
↓
baddfef8-b3a4-4613-a216-33fcc0455977.gif
That defeats the whole purpose. The idea is to trick the moms
defeatsideamomspurposetrickwhole
↓
87df329a-d1ad-4f02-a7e4-9721b047bad9.gif
nto letting the kids bop with us.
kidsletting
↓
63d13243-c8ca-446e-9d3f-4702b9ddb418.gif
It's not the '50s anymore, Frank. The kids aren't bopping anymore.
anymoreboppingfrankkids
↓
bf9d4da4-328a-4623-b035-89d40cbb2116.gif
They're banging each other and doing meth before they hit grade school.
banginggradegrade-schoolmethschool
↓
d3d8f0ce-4f62-479e-90e6-16ee65e6c7f9.gif
- Can I pick the name of the band? - What do you got?
bandnamepick
↓
4d9d9c2d-935f-4eaf-9a65-ef2894f04b23.gif
- The Pecan Sandies. - Isn't that a cookie?
cookie
↓
cf40571c-7f23-4d5d-9edd-2c6c6a9338ee.gif
Yeah, it's a cookie, but it's got another meaning.
anothercookiemeaning
↓
5843b7e8-e652-4e27-91c9-41bbd433984b.gif
- What's the other meaning? - What?
meaning
↓
c10fd47f-b812-4bdc-91a8-be4ec780f402.gif
Other than a cookie, what's the other meaning?
cookiemeaning
↓
8ab92a23-7e0c-435d-9487-23a616c71784.gif
- It's a sexual meaning. - No, we are not the Pecan Sandies.
meaningsexual
↓
16db5b88-1db7-4bbe-8d33-dcfaec3a62fd.gif
We are Chemical Toilet. Because chicks want guys
chemicalchickstoilet
↓
4f1899d0-de33-4e0e-9834-0f8c2eebcc51.gif
that wear tight pants and tattered clothing and spit blood,
bloodclothingpantsspittightwear
↓
ba068cf9-9286-4917-8b3a-74957d7f114f.gif
not guys dressed like waiters who name themselves after desserts.
dressedname
↓
b3c98250-9365-4409-bfb5-e081e812dfd8.gif
- We are Chemical Toilet. Charlie! - Porta-potty.
charliechemicalportapottytoilet
↓
c131cdac-badd-41a3-a849-a437f6e71c86.gif
- How's that song coming? CHARLIE: I'll be out in a second.
charliecomingsecondsong
↓
79e3a9bb-acce-4f26-b155-6d61001b7831.gif
And, Frank, who the hell is this guy?
frank
↓
884924a2-9080-4d55-9f51-d8c99fc08a22.gif
FRANK: That's Ernie. He works for beer. He looks a little tangled up.
beererniefranktangledworks
↓
e18a50ad-8ee3-4e66-b984-e1e0f5ad29b4.gif
Does he know anything about hooking up that electrical equipment?
electricalequipmenthooking
↓
ca697510-de86-47e6-994c-e38a4166d775.gif
- No. - Okay, I'm ready to rock.
readyrock
↓
df92a6c2-c744-4fb5-9908-633b9f04911a.gif
- And who are you supposed to be? - Bob Dylan. Check this out.
checkdylansupposed
↓
6303327d-e8ff-4a88-ba12-f54e9eb442ce.gif
- It's a page from a coloring book? - No, dude. That's "Night Man".
bookcoloringnightpage
↓
7fea547e-2767-4557-b8c0-ac5ead81aa01.gif
Those are lyrics.
lyrics
↓
3c6f45ee-2871-457a-815e-5574489cccef.gif
- Whatever. Let's just rock. - "Night Man", baby.
babynightrock
↓
9f7cc8fe-54d9-4dc9-81a2-1daef2ef3513.gif
- This is what I'm talking about. - Let's rock and roll!
rockroll
↓
acbc05e2-f685-4126-b311-7314949738a1.gif
All right.
↓
e6177222-7c4d-4ff9-9c89-7008dc64735f.gif
- Where's my curtain? - You're not gonna need it.
curtain
↓
53fb4cf8-d16a-4866-a0b3-525cf3720fd2.gif
- I want a curtain blocking my face. - You don't need it.
blockingcurtainface
↓
c2e8dd3f-7f50-4573-9a7b-bad092080f5f.gif
- Go have a beer, Ernie. - Okay.
beerernie
↓
951f3df5-77a4-43c7-8834-38f38942ad33.gif
All right. Ready?
ready
↓
b22abc4e-02b8-4436-be7e-2d2053254262.gif
Five, six, seven, eight.
eightfivesevenseven-eight
↓
d17a9f46-aa7b-4e39-8ea6-78e74b40b2d7.gif
#Night Man Sneaky and mean
nightsneaky
↓
918ba485-35c6-4a19-8bc7-a1dc485cbc06.gif
#Spider inside my dreams I think I love you
dreamslovespider
↓
21b34aba-82d5-4fb7-8ca8-005ac940474f.gif
#You make me wanna cry You make me wanna die
↓
46565c52-7685-4527-9db0-27c35a6b537b.gif
#I love you, I love you I love you, Night Man
lovenight
↓
509e2b49-5174-4729-9cc1-7f68a8bff809.gif
#Every night you come into my room And pin me down
nightroom
↓
acb535c3-3f8e-4b46-b74a-497efe2eeb3e.gif
#With your strong arms You pin me down
armsstrong
↓
03bdbc92-e795-4382-b060-78063dca6cd5.gif
#And I try to fight you You come inside me#
fight
↓
a6cca6a2-dc18-4098-be8c-db551e6f87fc.gif
- Charlie! - Charlie, hold on a second.
charliecharlie-charliesecond
↓
6048d0a8-3ef0-4a10-8e4e-9e82963e3654.gif
The first half was kinda cool, but what's with the second half?
coolhalfkindakinda-coolsecondsecond-half
↓
a8f1f098-33e3-4cc3-a374-e0e1ed25e555.gif
It's about the Night Man, filling me up and I become him.
becomefillingnight
↓
bb7d2dd9-2c3c-4a9d-bd44-3ffb5b298ade.gif
I become the spirit of the Night Man.
becomenightspirit
↓
b9ee4a81-7250-4db0-92d0-91f329c53e5a.gif
It's a song where a man breaks into your house and rapes you.
breakshousesong
↓
18ac4747-80e6-46fd-8564-0c85fdc300a4.gif
What? Where are you getting that from? No.
↓
c77945d8-15ff-41f0-8676-e36344e43269.gif
#It's just two men Sharing the night
nightsharing
↓
94263c69-3a95-45bb-9373-22e896e693a5.gif
#It might seem wrong But it's just right
might
↓
82123fd0-116a-46b3-8097-a946af2c30e2.gif
#It's just two men Sharing each other
sharing
↓
ff38dd10-33b1-4d26-ad12-7e699018c39a.gif
#It's just two men Like lovin' brothers
brotherslovin
↓
6d2b4dcc-6b3b-40e4-a1ad-cdc9efc899f6.gif
#One on top And one on bottom
bottom
↓
5a227919-283d-48da-b913-ceb313bba0ed.gif
#One inside And one is out
↓
6ccf91e7-9a51-4624-ae0d-58b23580c6fb.gif
#One is screamin' He's so happy
happyscreamin
↓
d3084cf1-97e9-4ba5-a45f-dc1ce749a19f.gif
#The other's screamin' A passionate shout
otherspassionatescreaminshout
↓
876a0555-b2bf-4639-90b5-d86f948fd3e9.gif
#It's the Night Man
night
↓
b7ccbcc5-da61-453c-85e0-ac822aeb18cc.gif
#They're feeling so wrong And right, man
feeling
↓
5dbfe71c-f0ed-4c02-bd0c-42159cd81402.gif
#They're feeling so wrong And right, man
feeling
↓
6e1e4995-b6f4-4768-9bd6-23a4e55dde71.gif
#I can't fight you, man When you come inside me
fight
↓
b2640a55-6c7b-4323-bbad-3d20ff9e6b9e.gif
#And pin me down With your strong hands
handsstrong
↓
5d551630-e06d-40d3-b04a-b8cc9e8b1251.gif
#And I become the Night
becomenight
↓
306f86c2-3131-4eaa-b5ec-3d3ba7ff0681.gif
#The passionate Passionate Night Man#
nightpassionate
↓
224c0dac-0878-410c-b443-748fccd7dcaf.gif
- We need a new front man. - Someone with a good voice.
frontvoice
↓
284c7204-22d6-492a-9c9d-1e1622e16919.gif
- Yes. - Who's attractive.
attractive
↓
10ab23fe-c88c-4470-a473-fa7cbe19bf0a.gif
- Yes. - Someone with charisma.
↓
a17b18c3-a0a4-449a-8003-ff9815586bd8.gif
- Yes. - I've got a lot of reading to do.
reading
↓
c782ecbb-97af-4147-85b6-401681b6ba1f.gif
Do you wanna be in the band or not, dude?
band
↓
7dcbb6fa-ef54-4cde-aead-c8316491a6b8.gif
- Can I wear spandex? - I'd rather you didn't.
spandexwear
↓
d2e6116d-1d37-4d18-ab4c-3c02586bceea.gif
I think I'm gonna wear spandex.
spandexwear
↓
a03fb55e-4802-4fbe-a33a-591e1b71dc8f.gif
MAC: Are you ready? FRANK: Yeah.
frankready
↓
66a9c681-5a25-430d-a671-8aa5a16fba0f.gif
- What if I did something like this? - Let me see.
↓
92184f3b-8197-4056-8f22-0eb40ddcfa0e.gif
I give a kick, but then I'm gonna stomp down.
kickstomp
↓
027750d8-5349-42b7-8afa-e90ac09d0f08.gif
Like...
↓
919c2145-a025-4bd1-a13c-98531a472700.gif
That's good. Every time I stomp, you do that. That's good.
stomp
↓
ce1ee543-7497-4f3b-a28d-ab2a482b9838.gif
Man... Really?
↓
eedc357d-13bd-4d54-aae1-9a553354646c.gif
Come on, dude. What's with the sash and the codpiece?
↓
3a275695-49a3-4a27-bd6a-2aa7033e5e52.gif
Don't be afraid of a little sex appeal, Mac.
afraidappeal
↓
c8d0556f-f516-4872-884f-75c36d1fec3a.gif
- You look like a drag queen. - I look like a rock god.
dragqueenrock
↓
154a7dff-6c34-4124-a905-9cc0c7cc6571.gif
Here's the song.
song
↓
ef671527-9448-45e8-b21d-01f4cc8777ee.gif
What the hell is this, a page from a coloring book?
bookcoloringpage
↓
e12ad97e-6811-4e20-a8e0-9fb60f43e95e.gif
It's a song that Charlie wrote. It's called "Night Man".
calledcharlienightsongwrote
↓
9c928416-fd50-47e4-99eb-f80f6bac118f.gif
Skip the raping parts and get on stage.
partsrapingskipstage
↓
f4f3f280-c9cd-4ba5-bdaf-b1c72129f4fc.gif
- Very well. - I just broke up with Kevin.
brokekevin
↓
67607c53-f453-443d-a70e-bdc7d32d2aaa.gif
- We're trying to practice. - I can't get it out of my head.
headpractice
↓
bd958879-7988-4111-8111-d381ee0f3b7f.gif
I don't know if he's retarded, but I can't stop thinking about it.
retardedthinking
↓
d0370336-9f63-4ef5-9fb7-96f436a43cbc.gif
Dee, we're trying to have band practice here.
bandpractice
↓
d5b2636c-8cd0-419e-95f6-56ff47dc2341.gif
I was gonna ride this guy to the top.
ride
↓
7578c68c-4574-4ff9-9718-5e4c81246028.gif
He was gonna put me in one of his rap videos.
videos
↓
4c0b698f-932d-4bcb-a758-0ac2a1062704.gif
The guy's not retarded, okay?
retarded
↓
2d7cad5c-791a-413e-bc79-3e60ac180433.gif
- What? - I said that to mess with you.
mess
↓
aec13093-c43a-4b49-9093-a55b034b1d49.gif
Why? Why would you do something like that?
↓
2dc507ff-906c-49f9-929b-2e9c69d2089f.gif
- I thought it'd be funny. - It's not funny.
funny
↓
e61f1c5b-cf66-4e48-9f66-abe68ee86078.gif
This guy's perfect, and you've blown it and ruined everything.
blownperfectruined
↓
07967024-bd90-4913-a837-c1e2cd804dde.gif
You are a bad, bad person.
person
↓
229d2ddc-4a05-4e3d-8300-7e52d72d79c2.gif
- Ew. - All right. Ready, guys?
ready
↓
cbee6d01-a712-4717-9adf-cd20a38777da.gif
- So, that guy's not retarded? - No, he's totally retarded.
retarded
↓
6b4320dd-54cb-4b2a-9094-10da981d46ae.gif
- All right, let's rock. - Five, six, seven, eight.
eightfiverocksevenseven-eight
↓
4602aef8-468f-47de-932f-db5107898f4c.gif
(music) (vocalizing) (cacophony)
musicvocalizing
↓
677ae917-e4c1-4d17-b8f3-8a69add50c4a.gif
(music) (continues)
continuesmusicmusic-continues
↓
2f9a235c-73b5-4d90-b707-046227b44d33.gif
(music) (minor chords)
minormusic
↓
d76f79f9-0c18-4488-8019-85ea08812754.gif
#They took you, Night Man And you don't belong to them
belongnight
↓
916294d6-dd79-4366-bcf7-95d7100456a1.gif
#They locked me in A world of darkness
darknesslockedworld
↓
f59a8e69-9496-4494-966e-b0b4e2442643.gif
#Without your sexy hands
handssexy
↓
1edf7bf4-84ef-44f4-b3b9-a16b27068cf3.gif
#And I miss you, Night Man So bad#
missnight
↓
93e121cb-69d1-49c0-88bb-f7ea73df2968.gif
(grunts) (air hissing)
gruntshissing
↓
856bef4f-c8c7-44d8-a035-a3edfad3b0c3.gif
Stupid, can't write... (inhales)
inhalesstupidwrite
↓
c63ddcf5-e131-4453-b5d0-2f79b374a390.gif
Charlie?
charlie
↓
c7b4d87f-d9b5-4a5d-a921-1ea74839c23a.gif
- Let's join forces. - Hello! Come right in.
forcesjoin
↓
e093240b-df1d-4ae8-9c17-f2d8008c592c.gif
- I will. - What happened to your band?
bandhappened
↓
325c8a32-b067-4807-87f5-c5992f234091.gif
- Kicked me out. (laughs) - It hurts, doesn't it?
hurtskickedlaughs
↓
fb7492c5-f910-49a4-906f-46b6d0d46830.gif
- What's with the curtains? - I'm living in a world of darkness.
curtainsdarknesslivingworld
↓
8f443f40-30aa-4bf6-9002-ced87aa02b7b.gif
Right. Let's get some light in here.
light
↓
a18d3bb4-665b-443c-ac93-d7084092945a.gif
(groans) (shudders)
groansshudders
↓
62e3d8e9-9e5c-4ab6-a18e-7ad7eab2c79e.gif
What's with the spray paint, man?
paintspray
↓
7a04e423-a773-473e-95c0-192b8f004aee.gif
What's with your outfit, man?
outfit
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dfc31ebc-05a7-430b-b48e-c87848aaf4bf.gif
- Let's put the curtains back up. - No.
curtains
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1187cfb2-2bc0-4a08-80b7-cd9ae9855742.gif
- What is going on up here? - I never know, man.
↓
9663eb00-e6d1-4387-888c-b59fd79f3051.gif
(music) (upbeat)
musicupbeat
↓
5392adf1-6e16-44e2-a3eb-c9b6f96f3a8a.gif
- Daylight. - I like that.
daylight
↓
fb048f38-4f90-4d11-9cf6-cb9910aa1ce9.gif
#Day Man#
↓
768c21dd-500e-4b07-8b2c-c8ddd4680897.gif
Day Man.
↓
e5d58131-dc84-4fe4-843a-87b6198a0fd9.gif
#Fighter of the Night Man
fighternight
↓
cc4a3b18-e1d9-406a-a43a-9452e7580e0e.gif
#Champion of the
champion
↓
5316e628-997a-4334-b91b-3608b970a4f1.gif
- #Sun - #Sun
↓
ebee0a70-8c31-4d3e-83b6-a057989a2a1c.gif
#You're a master of karate
karatemaster
↓
be9a579c-98a5-40ce-9f23-f7a4e78e2927.gif
#And friendship for everyone
friendship
↓
d5309baf-36b2-42e2-9e29-8043658dba78.gif
- #Day Man# That's it! - #Day Man#
↓
9070559f-f9d6-40f8-a024-650d582cd039.gif
- #Fighter of the Night Man - #Ah
fighternight
↓
93ec5ed7-958c-4540-bf58-fd4d0a448e95.gif
#Champion of the sun Ah#
champion
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a33e1d3c-f3d4-4d24-8aad-601236b992b6.gif
Do you want some? No.
↓
e351357f-0d4e-4e3e-a564-639282e38e48.gif
#You're a master of karate And friendship for everyone
friendshipkaratemaster
↓
7f2eadae-8f84-4e2f-8ac4-d5190d4058ef.gif
#Day Man Ah#
↓
9635e157-d9c2-4331-bad7-307264bffe47.gif
Nice. We'll get the...
↓
780f5b24-300e-4153-aa7f-591f6a6ece8f.gif
#Fighter of the Night Man Ah
fighternight
↓
4d5cbdb8-aa1e-4268-947e-60062ac1d4f4.gif
#Champion of the sun#
champion
↓
4c316aa5-a63c-477d-bc33-f95ad5f04320.gif
(music) (synth chords)
music
↓
426239e3-42fc-4d57-b125-206ae496af32.gif
DENNIS: Ladies and gentlemen, we are Electric Dream Machine.
dennisdreamelectricgentlemenladiesmachine
↓
3bb39c94-70ff-41af-9e70-d021b8e936d9.gif
Prepare to experience sexual magic.
experiencemagicpreparesexual
↓
daade817-7e68-4218-80a1-711135154aae.gif
(music) ("Day Man")
music
↓
2ca3f420-f921-4e2b-8a1e-d575aa265931.gif
#Day Man Ah
↓
ecf9fec3-d202-40f8-b553-097cd799f9cc.gif
#Fighter of the Night Man Ah
fighternight
↓
a8c551a4-f0d4-4e59-8488-7d19ce9f9290.gif
#Champion of the sun# MAN: Gay!
champion
↓
88f277a1-49a0-4937-adea-04cd664defe3.gif
#Ah You're a master of karate
karatemaster
↓
0189a610-cd41-44f5-94dc-9112eb06663e.gif
#And friendship for everyone#
friendship
↓
bbb959b2-0f84-4712-a22c-f71da5677009.gif
- Get off the stage! - #Day Man#
stage
↓
29e78fd2-3390-4468-b899-dcdabdcf2600.gif
- Come on. - Rock it.
rock
↓
bc199fe9-4712-418d-9af6-9e8328515ea7.gif
#Day Man# (booing)
booing
↓
35c18263-5964-469d-a77c-c975a009d6f3.gif
#Ah# Come on! Come on!
↓
5e3d504f-d002-45fe-9c02-5f98f4523009.gif
- Why are you booing? - #Of the Night Man#
booingnight
↓
2b03fba8-0120-493c-9e83-2e3520a6971b.gif
- It's good! Why are you... - #Ah#
↓
7aca3970-aadb-4ad2-b854-9e3d477cdc76.gif
(screaming) (booing continues)
booingcontinuesscreaming
↓
afd0cc9d-eff5-43d9-ac46-643217b57850.gif
Screw you guys. Goddamn it, Charlie.
charliegoddamngoddamn-itscrew
↓
83a575de-c725-4514-ae2b-5b79f270aa62.gif
(cheering) I'm so glad we worked out.
cheeringgladworked
↓
602b9e9a-fa90-4919-bcbc-5a1a64c89ad0.gif
I'm sorry I was all wishy-washy before.
↓
579f1f44-2700-4676-a572-2bd0282aa716.gif
Yeah, girl. You was more mixed-up than a milk shake.
girlmilkmixedshake
↓
a3c93a61-8523-432e-81d3-06c14b624d2d.gif
It's my brother's fault though. You're not gonna believe this.
believebrothersfault
↓
53f8ec68-5fe9-4af4-98e6-40b10d3e63ca.gif
He tried to convince me that you were retarded. What?
convinceretardedtried
↓
474364b7-a97d-41ba-b1de-681f1d24544d.gif
What? That's bananas, girl.
bananasgirl
↓
16d7a5de-5368-467e-92b3-adc88667790c.gif
You're not retarded, are you?
retarded
↓
799254ce-8631-4835-a0a6-1725639639eb.gif
All right, Paddy's! You ready to rock?
paddysreadyrock
↓
a1115fe2-1bc1-4a3a-9db8-4aa0497ecc0d.gif
(music) (banging)
bangingmusic
↓
21ecd38f-d5d7-4136-b062-98f9389f1d90.gif
Yeah! No? Yeah!
↓
9b655bf1-d102-4deb-b3bc-93d9abaae074.gif
(cheering) What up, Paddy's? Make some noise!
cheeringnoisepaddys
↓
d8e10370-eb62-4d3b-bc68-09d4be5674f0.gif
Get off. Get off the stage, idiot. Come on, idiot. Come on. Let's go.
idiotstage
↓
1f197717-a8b7-4572-bb60-1cf620aea2f8.gif
- Come on. - Okay.
↓
3891f688-ebc5-4033-9475-5ce726051aaf.gif
Bust a little freestyle for you.
bust
↓
6fdaa460-9789-449c-81fa-51b75742a58a.gif
This one's for my girl, Dee. This one's for you, baby. Word!
babygirlonesword
↓
908af724-edb2-4e38-b078-c12ca1e4baf3.gif
#Let me tell y'all a story 'Bout a girl I knew
boutgirlstoryyall
↓
8cd59ed1-ae70-4200-8ce8-71d7360c1eff.gif
#A broke-ass bitch With a gay-ass crew
bitchbrokecrew
↓
78610e65-57b6-4778-87b3-60c445c2febf.gif
#She said that I was cute She said that I was funny
cutefunny
↓
58b3bb12-973b-4a91-8454-df1dc169cc5d.gif
#But the honey couldn't stop Lookin' at my money
honeylookinmoney
↓
06b4b0bb-f21a-44ef-a506-a80af781e807.gif
#Busted old lady With a flat tiny ass
bustedflatladytiny
↓
fb7cde0a-054b-44e4-91c8-33d016b5658d.gif
#Her body like a skeleton In science class
bodyclassscienceskeleton
↓
11b4e7f5-f84b-4420-bc51-fc555c4dba45.gif
#Face beat up by The school of hard knocks
beatfacehardhard-knocksknocksschool
↓
e5a0d4cc-646d-48ad-831a-742f95138a1a.gif
#Hair so fried and bleached By Clorox
bleachedfriedhair
↓
2569f406-c7cc-4926-91f2-8b00b960d7ab.gif
#It's like she's skinny but fat In all the wrong places
placesskinny
↓
225273e1-9fd6-4dd2-bc02-d9eac42cc534.gif
#Mothers gotta cover Their babies' faces
babiescoverfacesmothers
↓
3007e03b-2d00-4af2-bae0-9985135ef385.gif
#When she walks by People think she's Godzilla
godzillawalks
↓
a3e0be42-bbe7-4d7d-922f-bdd41c3acec2.gif
#Straight out of Compton No, y'all straight outta "Thriller"
outtastraightthrilleryall
↓
d7709c65-1428-4b57-8b57-fe385ffa92b6.gif
#Looking like a zombie Walking like a chicken
chickenlookingwalkingzombie
↓
e742acb7-bb56-4029-9178-22c7ec3648c4.gif
#Mouth full of shit That's why her breath be stinkin'
breathfullmouthmouth-fullstinkin
↓
c910b58d-3d53-46d6-89d2-889a641ac3b6.gif
#Just one question, Dee Before you take your bow
question
↓
30364029-b4c7-4457-ab18-35b1f71ad092.gif
#This gravy train's leavin' So who's retarded now#
gravyretardedtrains
↓
40ee64f3-1e98-4210-a7ba-5bcc7058e7a3.gif
(cheering)
cheering
↓
32e85d67-cfbd-4773-9d12-9ea7b754ad8e.gif
Hey. Ladies.
ladies
↓
7905aedc-fa57-4098-8060-6694e6d60d2e.gif
Later, bitch.
bitch
↓
eae16701-b9dd-42c6-8e61-e930a69c7877.gif
I don't think he's retarded.
retarded