Home » It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia » S03E02 — The Gang Gets Invincible

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Season 3, Episode 2 — The Gang Gets Invincible

DENNIS: There's no way a mouse could kill a scorpion.

#1

⇓

MAC: Dude, a mouse could kill... FRANK: A rat could kill a scorpion.

#2

⇓

No shit, Frank, but we're not talking about a rat.

#3

⇓

- We're talking about a mouse. - A rat still would lose.

#4

⇓

A little mouse fighting a scorpion, and that is final!

#5

⇓

(screams) Shut up!

#6

⇓

Shut up! Oh, my God! I don't care!

#7

⇓

All we're doing is arguing about the most stupid shit!

#8

⇓

Rat, scorpion, I don't care, man! When did this start happening?

#9

⇓

When we started arguing all the time and fighting? This isn't like us!

#10

⇓

Look. We're working our asses off in this bar, you know?

#11

⇓

We're getting nothing to show for it and so we're starting to snip

#12

⇓

and pick at each other. And it's bullshit, man.

#13

⇓

'Cause guess what. It's a beautiful day outside.

#14

⇓

Okay? We need to change things up. Let's go outside, get fresh air.

#15

⇓

Let's run around a little bit. Let's just do something different.

#16

⇓

(sighs) You know what, Charlie? You're right. This is great.

#17

⇓

Yeah. It's just nice to do something different for a change.

#18

⇓

Yeah. Enjoy a little blue sky, some fresh air.

#19

⇓

- Yeah. Some earth beneath our feet. - See? I told you you'd like it.

#20

⇓

(chuckles)

#21

⇓

- It's goddamn bright out here. - So bright. I can't use my eyes.

#22

⇓

- There's people playing football. - Like there's no room to drink.

#23

⇓

- I'd like to go back to the bar. - Let's go back to the bar!

#24

⇓

- Are you kidding me? - Oh, look out. Let me see that.

#25

⇓

- Can I get that back? - Yeah. Go long.

#26

⇓

I'll toss you a wicked spiral.

#27

⇓

Why don't you just give me the ball, dude? We're trying to practice.

#28

⇓

- What are you practicing for? - I'm trying out for the Eagles.

#29

⇓

(chuckles) Uh, the Philadelphia Eagles?

#30

⇓

Yeah. They're holding tryouts for the public.

#31

⇓

Like in that movie, "Invincible".

#32

⇓

Was that the one where the guy from the New Kids on the Block

#33

⇓

makes it onto the Eagles? I saw that.

#34

⇓

That's the one. That's a good one. Wait. They're actually doing that?

#35

⇓

- Yes. Just give me the football. - Okay.

#36

⇓

Well, Dennis, I think you know what we have to do.

#37

⇓

Dude, did you read this flyer?

#38

⇓

Donovan McNabb is gonna be giving us a motivational speech.

#39

⇓

I know, dude. We are actually going to be running on the Linc!

#40

⇓

Lincoln Field, baby!

#41

⇓

You guys think you're actually gonna make the team?

#42

⇓

Hell, no, we're not gonna make the team.

#43

⇓

But we will finally get to prove once and for all

#44

⇓

who's a better football player.

#45

⇓

Right. Trying out for the Eagles is the best way to settle that score.

#46

⇓

You know what? I would like to join your little competition.

#47

⇓

(both laughing)

#48

⇓

- No, no, no, no, no. - You... You... You're a woman.

#49

⇓

Women can't do things like this. You'll get hurt.

#50

⇓

Women aren't allowed to try out for football.

#51

⇓

That's ridiculous. They should at least be able to try out.

#52

⇓

There are plenty of other sports that women can try out for.

#53

⇓

Like, uh, cooking and...

#54

⇓

Complaining to your friends about your boyfriends.

#55

⇓

- Playing... Playing at ballet. - Cleaning.

#56

⇓

Displaying cars at auto shows in tiny bikinis.

#57

⇓

When you get older, you can play bridge together. I don't know.

#58

⇓

You know what? I am in such better shape than both of you guys.

#59

⇓

Do you not think the first thing they're gonna do to weed people out

#60

⇓

s make you run? Oh, good luck.

#61

⇓

I could get so much further than both of you.

#62

⇓

(both chuckle) You think that's even a possibility?

#63

⇓

'Cause that could be very embarrassing for us.

#64

⇓

Well, we're never gonna have to find out because she can't try out.

#65

⇓

- You can't try out! - You're not allowed to try out.

#66

⇓

- That is a rule, right? - Check the rules.

#67

⇓

We'll put a layer of beer, then a layer of ice...

#68

⇓

- What are you guys doing? - We're gonna tailgate the tryouts.

#69

⇓

Oh, shit. That's a good idea. You gonna bust out Green Man, bro?

#70

⇓

- No. No Green Man. - What's Green Man?

#71

⇓

Well, in high school, Charlie was like our school mascot.

#72

⇓

A mascot nobody wanted.

#73

⇓

He'd get wasted and dress in this green spandex bodysuit.

#74

⇓

- It was really sad. - Spandex?

#75

⇓

That's it. You gotta bring the Green Man suit.

#76

⇓

- With the spandex. - Green Man was good.

#77

⇓

It got me through some hard times. But I'm done with it.

#78

⇓

Tell you what. You can wear it if you want, I'm just gonna relax.

#79

⇓

This is gonna be about chilling out for me.

#80

⇓

This is gonna be exactly like Woodstock.

#81

⇓

Is it? Are you planning on getting yourself locked in the bathroom

#82

⇓

of your cousin's Winnebago for three days?

#83

⇓

Shut up about that.

#84

⇓

I survived on hand soap and toilet water for three days.

#85

⇓

The memory haunts me.

#86

⇓

MAC: The Linc, dude! The Linc! DENNIS: Yeah, baby.

#87

⇓

I am actually gonna be able to look down

#88

⇓

and literally see how many yards I'm running.

#89

⇓

- This is gonna be awesome, dude. - We might actually get further

#90

⇓

n this tryout than we thought. See how many yahoos are trying out?

#91

⇓

Oh, yeah. I've seen a lot of people wearing capes.

#92

⇓

- There are 15 guys wearing capes. - Why would you wear a cape?

#93

⇓

- What advantage does that give you? - Absolutely none.

#94

⇓

Have a little respect. We are here with the Philadelphia Eagles,

#95

⇓

and they are opening up their doors to us.

#96

⇓

- This is a boyhood dream. - I know. I know.

#97

⇓

Why even come out here if you're not gonna take this somewhat seriously?

#98

⇓

- You done pissing yet? - No. I haven't started pissing.

#99

⇓

Because you're standing next to me, you're talking to me.

#100

⇓

- It's making me nervous. - All right. Want another beer?

#101

⇓

Yeah. Give me another beer, for Christ sakes.

#102

⇓

I'm gonna sit here and not drink another beer?

#103

⇓

Yeah.

#104

⇓

Cabana is assembled. The grill is as sparkling as we're gonna get it.

#105

⇓

The margarita machine here is open for business. Time to relax.

#106

⇓

Want to drop some acid with me?

#107

⇓

- What? You're dropping acid? - Mmm. Woodstock, baby.

#108

⇓

(laughs) Uh, okay. Well, no.

#109

⇓

Thank you. I believe that would have

#110

⇓

the complete opposite effect of relaxation for me.

#111

⇓

Well, I'm gonna trip balls.

#112

⇓

No. You messed up. It's too high. It doesn't look right on you.

#113

⇓

Too high? No, I'm good at it, dude. I did a good job on you.

#114

⇓

- 'Cause I have good cheekbones. - You have good cheekbones?

#115

⇓

- You put foundation all over, bro. - I put a light base on...

#116

⇓

Hey, guys. What's up?

#117

⇓

- What the hell is this? - How's it hangin'?

#118

⇓

This is a joke, right? You think anyone's gonna buy that?

#119

⇓

- Whatever, bro. - You're gonna get crushed.

#120

⇓

Dee, the second any part of your body touches that field,

#121

⇓

t's gonna shatter like glass. - You got bones like glass.

#122

⇓

- I don't have bones like glass. - You had to wear a back brace.

#123

⇓

Your body's, like, 90% scoliosis, Dee. (whistle blows)

#124

⇓

Move it, fellas. Let's get on the bus.

#125

⇓

Bus? What the hell are you talking about?

#126

⇓

The bus that takes you to the field.

#127

⇓

Wait. I thought we were gonna be playing on the Linc.

#128

⇓

You think you dipshits are gonna play on the same field

#129

⇓

that champions play on?

#130

⇓

- Where are we going? - "Where are we going?"

#131

⇓

We're going to a shitty high school in Bucks County.

#132

⇓

Now get your ass on the bus. If I say it one more time...

#133

⇓

If I say it one more time... If I say it one more time...

#134

⇓

Sprint to the bus. Sprint to the bus.

#135

⇓

That's everyone on the bus, dude. They're leaving.

#136

⇓

Maybe they're having the tryouts in a different place.

#137

⇓

Son of a bitch. All right. Screw it. We're here. We'll just relax.

#138

⇓

Stay here and look at the Linc? Like a couple of dicks in a yard?

#139

⇓

Get out of here! We gotta get up and go.

#140

⇓

- Oh... - Let's go follow that bus. Come on.

#141

⇓

All right. You get that. You get that. Come on. Let's go.

#142

⇓

- Charlie, get up. - This is work. I didn't want to...

#143

⇓

Get the stuff. We'll follow the bus.

#144

⇓

- I like your mustache. - Oh. Thank you.

#145

⇓

- I can't grow one. - Okay.

#146

⇓

- That's a pretty sweet cape. - Thank you. My mom made it.

#147

⇓

- Hmm. She did a very good job. - Yeah.

#148

⇓

- She's talented. - Mm-hmm.

#149

⇓

Can't believe we're not gonna tear it up on the Linc. This is bullshit.

#150

⇓

Half the reason I wanted to do this in the first place

#151

⇓

was to be out on that field.

#152

⇓

Man, stop smoking, will ya? Some of us are trying to make the team.

#153

⇓

- Are you kidding me, bro? - No.

#154

⇓

Guy, if you think you're actually going to make

#155

⇓

the Philadelphia Eagles, then you're pathetic.

#156

⇓

- You're pathetic. - No, you're pathetic, sport.

#157

⇓

- You're pathetic! - You're pathetic!

#158

⇓

- You're the one who is pathetic! - Whatever, man!

#159

⇓

When I'm done with this tryout, you'll go back to your sad,

#160

⇓

pitiful life, and I'll be on the Eagles.

#161

⇓

And everybody in Philadelphia will know the name McPoyle.

#162

⇓

- What'd you say your name is? - McPoyle. Doyle McPoyle.

#163

⇓

- The unibrow. The eczema. The acne. - He's definitely a McPoyle.

#164

⇓

There are so many of those people.

#165

⇓

Now, this is what I'm talking about. Look at all the people.

#166

⇓

But we're stuck over here by the portable shitters. It's kinda lame.

#167

⇓

- Stop bitching and set up. - No. I'm not setting anything up.

#168

⇓

I'm sitting in my chair.

#169

⇓

I'm relaxing, I'm getting blackout drunk, and you're leaving me alone.

#170

⇓

All right. Be a party pooper.

#171

⇓

- What are you doing, dude? - Taking more acid.

#172

⇓

Classic mistake, Frank. You're making a classic mistake.

#173

⇓

Just shut up and sit in your stupid chair.

#174

⇓

It's your funeral, buddy. Whoa! Hey there, guy.

#175

⇓

- That's good. FRANK: Whoa, whoa, whoa!

#176

⇓

You kidding me, man?

#177

⇓

- What the hell is that shit? - Man, that won't fly.

#178

⇓

Come on, dude. You almost ran me...

#179

⇓

- Oh, my God. The McPoyle brothers. - Hello, Charles.

#180

⇓

- What the hell are you doing here? - Came to support our brother Doyle.

#181

⇓

- He's gonna make the Eagles. - Okay. That's fantastic. Great.

#182

⇓

- But your bus is spilling over... - You almost ran me over, man.

#183

⇓

- Move it back. - You gotta move it back a few feet.

#184

⇓

- No. No can do. - We need the space.

#185

⇓

- For what? - The whole family's here.

#186

⇓

Oh, that's great. Oh, my God. Are you kidding me?

#187

⇓

Great. Of course you're here. Good. How many... What is that a jar of?

#188

⇓

- What is that a jar of, dude? - Pig parts.

#189

⇓

How many can there possibly be? Oh, good to see her again. Good.

#190

⇓

She doesn't know what I'm saying, right? Okay. Here he comes.

#191

⇓

You're here in the world. That's the sun. It's gonna hurt your eyes.

#192

⇓

Watch your mouth. They've got thin corneas.

#193

⇓

CHARLIE: What is that? A fife? You brought your little flute.

#194

⇓

Is there more? Are there any more? Get 'em all out.

#195

⇓

All right. Look. I tell you what. Leave me alone, okay?

#196

⇓

I don't care what you do. Just leave me alone.

#197

⇓

'Cause, like, I'm here to relax and have a good time.

#198

⇓

I don't want any of your shit. All right? So leave me alone, okay?

#199

⇓

We be cool. We're even now.

#200

⇓

- Bump it. - I'm not bumping your fist.

#201

⇓

- Bump it. - Do it, Charlie. Bump it.

#202

⇓

I'm not bumping you, all right?

#203

⇓

I never bumped him once! I'm not gonna bump him!

#204

⇓

- Whatever. No bumping. - These guys are freak shows, man.

#205

⇓

COACH: Hustle up! Let's go, bitches!

#206

⇓

- Let's move it! Let's move it! - I was here first, Coach.

#207

⇓

- Hustle! - Coach! Hi. Hi, there.

#208

⇓

Cole. Cole Armstrong.

#209

⇓

Three-time all-American. Fastest sprinter in five counties. Coach?

#210

⇓

Would you like us to stand when you address us,

#211

⇓

or do you prefer we take a knee?

#212

⇓

- I don't give a shit! - Okay. I'll take a knee.

#213

⇓

I'll take a knee. (clears throat)

#214

⇓

We're doing these tryouts for you, because of your harassment

#215

⇓

and your love for the New Kids on the Block movie.

#216

⇓

You paid your $30 fee. We promised you a keynote speaker.

#217

⇓

- All right. Bring him up. - McNabb, dude. McNabb.

#218

⇓

- Gentlemen! - Uh, is this good here?

#219

⇓

Yeah, that's cool. Just put your parking brake on.

#220

⇓

(clears throat) Donovan McNabb.

#221

⇓

Hey, guys. I'm Donovan McNabb. Whoo.

#222

⇓

Uh, I play quarterback for the Philadelphia Eagles.

#223

⇓

And I'm here to tell you that you can, too,

#224

⇓

f you start every day with a hearty breakfast from McDonald's.

#225

⇓

Uh, like the new Sausage Egg McGriddle Value Meal,

#226

⇓

available now for a limited time for under five dollars.

#227

⇓

Remember, guys. Real champs eat at McDonald's.

#228

⇓

I'm lovin' it. Can I get the check?

#229

⇓

- That's good. - What the hell was that?

#230

⇓

Thanks, Donnie.

#231

⇓

- That was not Donovan McNabb! - That was not Donovan McNabb!

#232

⇓

- Yes, it was. - It was like a McDonald's plug.

#233

⇓

Was that the guy from "The Cosby Show?"

#234

⇓

- That's not the guy from... - Yeah. He was married to Sondra.

#235

⇓

- Alvin. - They had Raven-Symoné.

#236

⇓

- That's so Raven. - That's not the guy from...

#237

⇓

You know what? Sprints! (whistle blows)

#238

⇓

- Goddamn it! - Sprints!

#239

⇓

- Sprints! - Good job, dude.

#240

⇓

- I'm starting to feel it. Mmm! - I bet you are, bud.

#241

⇓

- Feeling weird. - Yeah, probably feeling very weird.

#242

⇓

The acid's making me feel like I gotta take a dump.

#243

⇓

That's what happens when you take a lot of acid, dude.

#244

⇓

- I gotta go. - Then go.

#245

⇓

The line's too long. Maybe I can hold it in.

#246

⇓

- Then go in the McPoyles' camper. - Oh, no.

#247

⇓

That might bring back bad memories. I think I'm gonna hold it.

#248

⇓

- How you feeling? - Annoyed.

#249

⇓

- There's nothing kicking in yet? - What you talking about? The beer?

#250

⇓

No. The acid.

#251

⇓

- I did not take any acid. Remember? - Oh, yeah, you did.

#252

⇓

What are you talking about?

#253

⇓

I put a shitload of it in your beer.

#254

⇓

- What? - Yeah.

#255

⇓

Is that what all those little pieces of paper were floating...

#256

⇓

I drank all that shit, dude! There was a ton of acid in there!

#257

⇓

- Yeah. - Why would you do that?

#258

⇓

I don't want to be the only one tripping.

#259

⇓

Oh, my God, man!

#260

⇓

- Oh, my God! - I really have to go take a dump.

#261

⇓

Shut up. I don't care. Go to their camper.

#262

⇓

I don't care, dude. Get out of here. Oh, you sick son of a bitch, dude!

#263

⇓

Why would you do... Oh, shit! Oh, shit!

#264

⇓

(panting)

#265

⇓

- You ready to quit yet, Cole? - Yeah. You had enough yet, Cole?

#266

⇓

- Yeah, Cole! - We ran for, like, 10 minutes.

#267

⇓

- My side is gonna explode. - You guys are in terrible shape.

#268

⇓

This is gonna be a lot easier than I thought.

#269

⇓

(whistle blows) Let's go!

#270

⇓

- Let's go! Move it! MAC: I'm in so much pain.

#271

⇓

All right. Now that we got our hearts pumping,

#272

⇓

let's pick out some gear, pick a partner... hitting drills!

#273

⇓

I pick Cole!

#274

⇓

(whistle blows) (groans)

#275

⇓

Oh, no, he didn't! Oh, no, he didn't!

#276

⇓

That's my signature dance. Gonna do that when I tackle people.

#277

⇓

I like your form on that and I liked how you went before the whistle.

#278

⇓

- Goddamn right. - Nice. (whistle blows)

#279

⇓

All right, guys. Let's pick new partners.

#280

⇓

Eeny, meeny, miny, mo.

#281

⇓

(groans)

#282

⇓

(whistle blows) Nice. All right. You're up, man.

#283

⇓

Ah. Uh, hitting's not really my thing, Coach.

#284

⇓

Spoken like a true champion. You just might make the team.

#285

⇓

- Awesome. Really? - Jesus Christ.

#286

⇓

Don't talk to anybody. These people are freak shows.

#288

⇓

Wait. Wait. Better wash your hands.

#289

⇓

No telling what kind of germs these McPoyles have.

#290

⇓

Oh! Crap!

#291

⇓

(groans) I'm starting to feel weird.

#292

⇓

What the hell? Oh, no. Not again.

#293

⇓

Oh, no! Hey!

#294

⇓

Hey! Hey! Hey! Somebody get me outta here!

#295

⇓

(grunts, laughs) Man, my brother just leveled your boy out there.

#296

⇓

He's gonna make the Eagles. Yeah, your boy's a pansy.

#297

⇓

But Doyle's a big strong guy. Probably 'cause he eats fish.

#298

⇓

What is going on with his head? It's too small or tight or something.

#300

⇓

Yeah, that's it. His skin's too tight.

#301

⇓

My skin's not tight.

#302

⇓

Good catch, Doyle! Good catch! Way to hustle! Way to hustle!

#303

⇓

- All right. Who's next? - This guy.

#304

⇓

All right. Run out and hook in.

#305

⇓

Run out and hook in. Show these people how to play football.

#306

⇓

(whistle blows)

#307

⇓

My form is perfect. I'm like Jerry Rice.

#309

⇓

Feel that stride. So fluid and fast. I've got the stride of a gazelle.

#310

⇓

A beautiful, beautiful gazelle person.

#311

⇓

My body is achieving a perfect symmetry right now.

#312

⇓

It's that long, lean muscle I've worked so hard to achieve.

#313

⇓

Hmm, I should've popped my shirt off.

#314

⇓

Goddamn it. Really should've popped that shirt off.

#315

⇓

I wonder if any women are watching from the sidelines.

#316

⇓

You're better at sports than Mac and Dennis.

#318

⇓

COACH: Holy shit! The other coaches gotta hear about this.

#319

⇓

Well, well, look who's a natural.

#320

⇓

Guess I'll be getting further than you after all.

#321

⇓

- Maybe it was a lucky kick. - No.

#322

⇓

No. Those stork-like legs, they act like pendulums.

#323

⇓

And on the bottoms of those pendulums, feet like wrecking balls.

#324

⇓

We gotta do something about this, dude.

#325

⇓

Let's go talk to Frank. Come on. I got an idea.

#326

⇓

Somebody! Somebody help!

#327

⇓

Goddamn it! Goddamn it! Not again!

#328

⇓

(gasps)

#329

⇓

WOMAN: Frank.

#330

⇓

WOMAN: Hey, Frank.

#331

⇓

Who said that?

#332

⇓

I'm Artemis. I'm Dee's friend.

#333

⇓

- I'm trapped. - I know.

#334

⇓

I can help. Crawl into my mouth.

#335

⇓

I don't think I can fit.

#336

⇓

Mmm, sure you will. Just go one leg at a time.

#337

⇓

Okay.

#338

⇓

Into the toilet I go.

#339

⇓

(Charlie thinking) Man, this is crazy.

#340

⇓

You are dancing with the entire McPoyle family.

#341

⇓

These people are freak shows, man. Freaks.

#342

⇓

But you're keeping your cool. You are keeping your cool.

#343

⇓

You know why? Because you are the Green Man.

#344

⇓

Green Man is saving your life right now, bro. Just go with the flow.

#345

⇓

Charlie, we've been looking all over for you, dude.

#346

⇓

Green Man. I knew you couldn't resist.

#347

⇓

Huh? You know what? I'm actually tripping pretty hard right now.

#348

⇓

- You're tripping? - Yeah.

#349

⇓

Frank gave me some acid, and it's like...

#350

⇓

- Oh, Jesus. - Hey, guys.

#351

⇓

Guess who got invited to training camp.

#352

⇓

Yeah. We're gonna be famous.

#353

⇓

Look. We need to talk to Green Man alone for a second, please.

#354

⇓

- Okay? Thank you. Yes. Bye. - Can we talk to the Green Man?

#355

⇓

Just go. Thank you.

#356

⇓

- Charlie, where's Frank? - Really important.

#357

⇓

- Oh, Frank? TOGETHER: Yes.

#358

⇓

He's standing right there.

#359

⇓

Frank, what the hell are you doing?

#360

⇓

He's been trying to climb through that trash can for 20 minutes.

#361

⇓

- I'm pretty sure he's on acid. - Thank God you guys are here.

#362

⇓

- How'd you get in here? - What are you talking about?

#363

⇓

I've been stuck in this bathroom for three hours.

#364

⇓

I think he took a dump in there.

#365

⇓

- Can you give us a second, please? - Whatever.

#366

⇓

I'm getting tired of watching him anyway.

#367

⇓

All right. Frank, listen. Did you bring your gun today?

#368

⇓

- Great. Walk me through the plan. - The plan is, I get close to Dee.

#369

⇓

When she goes to punt the ball, I fire the gun. It'll startle her.

#370

⇓

- She'll blow the kick. - That's a great plan.

#371

⇓

Wait a second! How long have we been standing right here?

#372

⇓

- Like two seconds. - Seriously?

#373

⇓

Yeah. Frank, give me the gun. We're in a hurry.

#374

⇓

- Where is it? - It's in your hand.

#375

⇓

Wait, wait, wait! When the hell did I put Green Man on?

#376

⇓

- I don't know. - That lizard talks!

#377

⇓

Where? Where? I don't like lizards!

#378

⇓

We don't have time for this. Frank, just give us the gun!

#379

⇓

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! - Lizard, am I standing in poop?

#380

⇓

I'm gonna demonstrate to all of you my natural abilities as a punter.

#381

⇓

I'm gonna kick this ball 60 yards

#382

⇓

right in front of your faces, and I'm gonna do it...

#383

⇓

as a woman.

#384

⇓

(all groaning) Oh, that's right. I'm a woman.

#385

⇓

And I'm about to show all of you that women

#386

⇓

should be allowed to try out for the Philadelphia Eagles. Coach.

#387

⇓

(sighs)

#388

⇓

Wrap your minds around this.

#389

⇓

Oh! (gasping)

#390

⇓

Oh, I broke it. Oh, it may be broken.

#391

⇓

Oh, sweet Jesus, I think I broke it.

#392

⇓

- Kick your legs, man. Come on. - You're out of the trash can.

#393

⇓

- A deal is a deal. Give us the gun. - Hold on. Hold on.

#394

⇓

I'm really peaking here.

#395

⇓

- Stop pointing the gun at us! - Stop pointing it at us!

#396

⇓

Point it somewhere else.

#397

⇓

Nobody minds if I do a little dancing now, do they?

#398

⇓

- Nobody cares if you're dancing. - Hey, guys.

#399

⇓

Could somebody please take me to the hospital, 'cause I'm pretty sure

#400

⇓

I broke every single bone in my foot punting that football.

#401

⇓

- Really? - Yeah. I didn't make the Eagles,

#402

⇓

but I would like to go to the emergency room now, please.

#403

⇓

No, my bones aren't... You know what? Forget...

#405

⇓

It doesn't matter, I made the furthest, so I win.

#406

⇓

No, I win because you're the girl, and you got knocked unconscious.

#407

⇓

- You didn't win. You got crushed. - Once again! Yes!

#408

⇓

What is this? That is so stupid. Guess what. I made it the farthest.

#409

⇓

- Yes, yes! (mocking) - Yeah, yeah, yeah!

#410

⇓

You shattered every bone... (gunshot)

#411

⇓

Holy shit. This thing is loaded. (laughing)

#412

⇓

DOYLE: My leg! - Doyle, are you okay?

#413

⇓

My leg! Somebody shot my leg!

#414

⇓

No!

#415

⇓

- Oh, that's not good. - That's not good.

#416

⇓

No. That could come back and bite us in the ass.

#417

⇓

- Ready? - Let's go!

#418

⇓