Home » It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia » S05E11 — Mac and Charlie Write a Movie

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Season 5, Episode 11 — Mac and Charlie Write a Movie

Now keep in mind,

#1

⇓

we've been locked in this parking garage stairwell for, like, 20 minutes, dude.

#2

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Okay, so then we turn around, and what do we see?

#3

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A scary homeless dude. And I'm, like, "Oh, shit! " Yeah! And I'm like, uh...

#4

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You know- I'm like, "What do we- What do we do?" You know?

#5

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And then Mac, he's just like, "Just chill. " And I'm like, "How do we chill, dude?"

#6

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Yeah. And I'm all, "Oh, shit! He's gonna talk now!"

#7

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Yeah. And I'm all like, "How do you know he's gonna talk, bro?"

#8

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And I'm like, "Because his mouth is opening. " And then he did talk.

#9

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Yeah. And then he goes- he goes, "I'll let you out of the stairwell...

#10

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'cause I have the key, because I'm the security guard instead."

#11

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That's a cool story, huh? Yeah, right?

#12

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Okay, so, uh...

#13

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Just so I'm clear on the story that you just told. Yeah.

#14

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It was about you guys getting locked in a garage stairwell for 20 or so minutes.

#15

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Yeah. And then a security guard came along...

#16

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and the security guard let you out.

#17

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Well, yeah. But...

#18

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I mean, it's how you tell the story that makes it good.

#19

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How you told the story was by far the worst part of the story.

#20

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You weren't even paying attention to us, dude.

#21

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All you were doing was playing on that stupid phone.

#22

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Why are you rubbing on the phone? Let me rub on it.

#23

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What are you doing? No, no, no! Hey, hey, Frank!

#24

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Get your greasy, fat, sausage fingers of my touch screen phone.

#25

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This thing's new. My fingers are not greasy.

#26

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Uh, you have four sausage links in your pocket right now.

#27

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Yeah, but I don't touch the sausage links.

#28

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Why should I do that when I can let my shirt do the work? Watch.

#29

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Hmm. No touching, and warm. My God. You're an animal.

#30

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Guess what, boners. I just got a part in an M. Night Shyamalan movie.

#31

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- What? - Yeah. I'm a featured actress,

#32

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which means I'm gonna be featured in a scene.

#33

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What's an M. Night? Wow. Gross.

#34

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M. Night Shyamalan, the Indian filmmaker from Philly.

#35

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Oh, my God. This dude's a big deal, Frank.

#36

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He's like a true-to-life Slumdog Millionaire. You know what I mean?

#37

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He always puts some awesome twists at the end of his movies to trick the audience.

#38

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Oh, yeah, yeah, like in The Sixth Sense.

#39

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You find out that the dude in that hairpiece the whole time...

#40

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- That's Bruce Willis- the whole movie. - That's not the twist.

#41

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That's not the twist to that movie. That wasn't?

#42

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No. I'll tell you about it later.

#43

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There were a lot of twists in that movie. Watch it again.

#44

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You know what? You're gonna need a very crafty agent...

#45

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to squeeze everything out of this slumdog.

#46

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I volunteer. And I decline.

#47

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You are abusive and you smell like warm meat...

#48

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and I want you to leave me alone 'cause this is really important for me.

#49

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This is important for all of us, okay?

#50

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This is an opportunity for Charlie and I to get M. Night our script.

#51

⇓

Right. Since when do you and Charlie have a script?

#52

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Since you walked in here and said you were in that movie. We're great storytellers.

#53

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No, goddamn it! No, come on. Don't involve yourselves in this.

#54

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Dee, you involved us in this the second you walked in and told us about the movie.

#55

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You really shouldn't have done that. Let's get to work!

#56

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Oh, oh, hoo!

#57

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Let's get some beer. Dude. Yeah!

#58

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Goddamn it.

#59

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Whoa, whoa. Excuse me. Can I help you?

#60

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Oh, great. Nonfat, sugar free, vanilla soy latte. Three shots, no foam.

#61

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Also, why don't you let me in here so I can start my vocal warm-ups?

#62

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I'm sorry. Who are you again? Dee Reynolds, featured actress.

#63

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Reynolds? Yeah.

#64

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And could you send M. Night over also,

#65

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because I have a couple questions regarding the detes of my character.

#66

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Right. Says you're a featured extra.

#67

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Okay. Well, featured extra, featured actress. What's the difference?

#68

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Well, the difference is...

#69

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a featured actress usually auditions for the role, has lines, gets a trailer,

#70

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whereas a featured extra is a person whose head shot we pull off a pile,

#71

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has no lines and sits in that tent over there till we're ready for her.

#72

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Okay? Mmm. Okay. Ah, ah, ah, ah...

#73

⇓

Where are we on the coffee situation,

#74

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because it's early and I am hungover.

#75

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Go sit in the tent. Now. This tent?

#76

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That one. Thank you. Are you sure?

#77

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This is hard. Mmm.

#78

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I mean, because I want the movie to be big, you know, and, like, a box office smash...

#79

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and we want to put, like, a lot of meat in the seats, you know?

#80

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Yeah. You know what I'm thinking, dude? You know what I'm thinking?

#81

⇓

Something that's happening in Hollywood that's, like, pretty cool.

#82

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They take an underrated actor, right, whose career is in a slump,

#83

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and then they make him a star again.

#84

⇓

Oh, that is awesome, right? Yeah, let's do that. Yeah.

#85

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Yeah. So, who is the most underrated actor of all time?

#86

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- It's Dolph Lundgren. - Correct. Why?

#87

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Well, because of his spiky hair, his ice-cold demeanor and his big muscles.

#88

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Absolutely. Okay. All right. All right, so we have our actor.

#89

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- Okay. - That's great. Now we need a really great role for him.

#90

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Oh, you know what I was thinking? Scientists are cool.

#91

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What if he's a scientist?

#92

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Okay, okay. A muscular scientist. I'm into that. Right.

#93

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As long as we don't cover up that body with a lab coat, bro. No, dude.

#94

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He's wearing, like, a hot mesh tank top.

#95

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I like that. Now does he, like, fight crime or something?

#96

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Yeah, yeah, yeah. He fights crime, uh, with his brain and his brawn.

#97

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Should we be writing this down? Let's get all this down.

#98

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All right. This is good. All right.

#99

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Okay. Brains- Brawn...

#100

⇓

Brawn- Muscles...

#101

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Oh! Dude! Yeah?

#102

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I just got a Shyamalan twist to put in this bad boy.

#103

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Okay. Lay it on me.

#104

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What if this scientist runs around on all fours?

#105

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Why would he run on all fours?

#106

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It's a science experiment with a dog that goes absolutely haywire.

#107

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Suddenly he wakes up with the ability to run around like a hound. You know?

#108

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We're not making the lead of our big-budget action movie half dog!

#109

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No, not half dog. He's all dog.

#110

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Then why are we casting Dolph Lundgren?

#111

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That will be the twist.

#112

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Dolph Lundgren will be the voice of this dog.

#113

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That's not a twist! That's a completely different movie...

#114

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about a talking-dog scientist with the voice of Dolph Lundgren!

#115

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All right. You know what? Check this out.

#116

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What if it's a man with a few dog-like qualities, like, uh, heightened sense of smell...

#117

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Jesus Christ, Charlie. We're not- There's no- or licking...

#118

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Whoa, whoa. Wait a second. A heightened sense of smell?

#119

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What if he can smell crime?

#120

⇓

What if he smells crime?

#121

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Dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude! Yeah?

#122

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What if he can smell a crime before it even happens?

#123

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Holy shit, dude. That's amazing. Smells crime before it even happens!

#124

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Yes, dude!

#125

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We're getting somewhere. What if his entire head is just one big nose?

#126

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Write that down! I like that!

#127

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He's one big nose on Dolph Lundgren's body.

#128

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Oh, shit!

#129

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Ho! What?

#130

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No. No, no, no, no, no. What are you two doing here?

#131

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Well, since you've declined my offer to be your agent,

#132

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I've since taken on Dennis as a client.

#133

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Dennis has that "I don't give a shit" attitude,

#134

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which is perfect for Hollywood, right, Dennis?

#135

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I-I- I really don't care. See? See?

#136

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Why do you want to be everybody's agent?

#137

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Because that's where the money is. What do you do?

#138

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You just put things together. You sit back, you collect 10%...

#139

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and you let the client do all the work.

#140

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Dennis doesn't give a shit. Right?

#141

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Stop talking to me. Perfect.

#142

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Okay. Well, you can't just walk in here and get a part in the movie.

#143

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It's not how it works.

#144

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Excuse me, sir? Yes?

#145

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Uh, could my client have a part in your movie? Sure. Here.

#146

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Fill out this form. You do it.

#147

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I'll do it. Unbelievable!

#148

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Hold on a second. Hey, hey. Assistant, hey.

#149

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Hi. When is somebody gonna tell me what my part is?

#150

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What is your name again? Dee Reynolds. I'm your featured... extra.

#151

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Right. You're a corpse.

#152

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A corpse? Mm-hmm.

#153

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Like a... zombie roaming through the streets looking for brains kind of corpse?

#154

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No. Like a dead corpse. Just a dead corpse?

#155

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Lifeless body lying in the street. Okay. All right.

#156

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We'll call you when we're ready for makeup. I know, but...

#157

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Hold on a second. I have one more- Don't be- Don't walk away from me.

#158

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He just- He'll be back. Dee.

#159

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Jesus, you come off so desperate.

#160

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Oh! Hollywood! Hollywood! Hollywood!

#161

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No, no, no, no, no, no, no! No! Hey, guys.

#162

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Get out of here! What is that? What are you guys doing here?

#163

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We in a Hollywood situation! Yeah.

#164

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- Dennis just got a part in the movie. - Sweet, dude. Bump it.

#165

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- Uh- - Not gonna? All right.

#166

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So, uh- So where's the slumdog? We're ready for him.

#167

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- You finished the script already? - No, not exactly.

#168

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Yeah, we, uh- We didn't want to get locked into anything,

#169

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so we came up with a pitch instead.

#170

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It's more like a series of ideas in no particular order, you know?

#171

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Yeah. We'll work out the kinks later.

#172

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So you hit a brick wall, huh? Yeah. Uh...

#173

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Mmm. Dennis can help you with that.

#174

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He is good at coming up with awesome words. I wouldn't rule it out.

#175

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You have to sign him on as a producer. That okay?

#176

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Dennis? You want to be a producer? Yeah.

#177

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- Sorry. - All right. We'll work out the detes later, man.

#178

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But maybe we gotta find, like, a cooler place?

#179

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Could we get a place with some A.C. going?

#180

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Let's have a meeting and some A. C., man. Leave it to me.

#181

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All right. You guys got 30 seconds. Blow my mind.

#182

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Okay, okay, okay, okay. Oh, oh, oh.

#183

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Guys, guys. It's the prequel to The Sixth Sense.

#184

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The Fifth Sense. The sense of smell.

#185

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Imagine a super ripped,

#186

⇓

super smart scientist in a mesh tank top...

#187

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named Dr. Dolph Lundgren.

#188

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No. That's- That's not his name.

#189

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He's played by Dolph Lundgren, but that's not the character's name.

#190

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It could be the character's name. No, that's...

#191

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A doctor played by Dolph Lundgren named Dolph Lundgren?

#192

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Yeah! That's confusing, dude.

#193

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More confusing than making up an entirely new name for a person?

#194

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That's gonna confuse people. I'm taking over. I'm taking over.

#195

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- You are losing me. - Okay. Okay. All right, all right, all right.

#196

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Imagine a super smart, ripped scientist played by Dolph Lundgren,

#197

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who, after a terrible accident in his lab, blows off his nose!

#198

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After reconstructive surgery, he soon realizes that he smells something that stinks...

#199

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This doctor smells crime?

#200

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Possibly also runs around like a hound. No! He doesn't run...

#201

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I'm just saying, don't rule it out. It's possible- I didn't agree to that.

#202

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It's not in any of our notes. He might run around like a hound. What do you think?

#203

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Okay, uh- All right. First things first.

#204

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You guys gotta type some of this shit out and get organized, for Christ's sakes.

#205

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Get your shit together. Come on. I mean, that's ridiculous.

#206

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Now in terms of the story, uh, clearly it's brilliant. It's amazing.

#207

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Great idea. Brilliant idea. Thank you.

#208

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But there is one critical element that's missing.

#209

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It needs a sexual punch-up.

#210

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We need to get a female lead character in there...

#211

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that Dolph can bang throughout the whole movie.

#212

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Yeah. I kind of hate women though. Oh.

#213

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I feel like they just slow action movies down too. Right, dude.

#214

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No, Mac. See, you're dead wrong on that. You're dead wrong.

#215

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See, one of the problems with Shyamalan's movies is that they lack a certain eroticism.

#216

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What if we were to bring, uh,

#217

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an incredibly hot but skeptical female lab partner into the mix?

#218

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And then that way, whenever Dolph's not out busting heads because he's smelled crime,

#219

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he's back at the lab performing outrageous sexual experiments...

#220

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on her supple, young body.

#221

⇓

Now here's the twist. And there is a twist.

#222

⇓

We show it.

#223

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We show all of it.

#224

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Because what's the one major thing missing from all action movies these days, guys?

#225

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Full penetration.

#226

⇓

Guys, we're gonna show full penetration,

#227

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and we're gonna show a lot of it.

#228

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I mean, we're talking, you know, graphic scenes of Dolph Lundgren...

#229

⇓

really going to town on this hot, young lab tech...

#230

⇓

from behind, 69, anal, vaginal, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl...

#231

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All the hits. All the big ones. All the good ones.

#232

⇓

And then he smells crime again. He's out busting heads.

#233

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Then he's back to the lab for some more full penetration.

#234

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He smells crime. Back to the lab, full penetration.

#235

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Crime, penetration, crime, full penetration, crime, penetration.

#236

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And this goes on and on and back and forth for 90 or so minutes...

#237

⇓

until the movie just sort of ends.

#238

⇓

That is brilliant!

#239

⇓

That is the most brilliant movie I've ever heard in my life.

#240

⇓

I think audiences are gonna be very uncomfortable seeing Dolph Lundgren's naked penis...

#241

⇓

going into this young girl that you're talking about.

#242

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Yeah. Just to be clear, though, I don't care either way.

#243

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Well, it was worth it, you know- 30 seconds.

#244

⇓

Because we got the chick thing out of it, so this is good. Yeah, 30 seconds.

#245

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Okay. All right. Well, maybe we should type this stuff up,

#246

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and then, Frank, we'll be in touch. Get it all together.

#247

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We'll type it up. We'll get another thing going.

#248

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And think about the representation thing. Definitely, dude. Definitely.

#249

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Okay. You don't have to rep him. You could just rep me.

#250

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All right. Let me just get all this stuff.

#251

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We're not a writing team. Okay. Are we good?

#252

⇓

Yeah. We're good. Okay.

#253

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Okay, we good? Go ahead, Charlie.

#254

⇓

Okay. And we'll get- we'll get the...

#255

⇓

Frank, I write better without him. Seriously. We'll talk about it.

#256

⇓

You know? Okay.

#257

⇓

Okay, cool.

#258

⇓

The Fifth Sense. Here we go. Here we go.

#259

⇓

Write-Write- Write a couple words. The...

#260

⇓

Fifth- Dude, go faster.

#261

⇓

Hold on. Hold on. I can't- Go faster.

#262

⇓

Ah! I got it in my head.

#263

⇓

I just- I can't type it fast enough. You can't type it at all.

#264

⇓

If I could type more better, then I think it would come out faster.

#265

⇓

Maybe we should get somebody else who can type. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

#266

⇓

Look at her, dude.

#267

⇓

Might be good to have an older lady in the mix, right, sort of a workhorse secretary?

#268

⇓

Yeah- I don't care for her demographic. I find them judgmental.

#269

⇓

Mmm. You know what I mean?

#270

⇓

Mm-hmm. We need someone more our...

#271

⇓

Hello.

#272

⇓

Check out this one over here. Does he look Indian to you?

#273

⇓

Oh, yes, dude.

#274

⇓

It would be great to have an Indian in our corner, right?

#275

⇓

Oh, my God. They're natural storytellers. They're great with twists.

#276

⇓

- Uh- Psst! Psst! - Dude!

#277

⇓

- Uh, where are you from? - Baltimore.

#278

⇓

Right, right. Baltimore, sure.

#279

⇓

- Where are your parents from? - Jersey.

#280

⇓

Oh. All right. Getting nowhere here.

#281

⇓

Uh, you're so- Yeah, well, uh...

#282

⇓

Is anyone in your family from India? Mmm.

#283

⇓

- Pakistan. - Pakistan. Now that's...

#284

⇓

Well, isn't- a country somewhere, so...

#285

⇓

What's the difference between that and- Yeah, what is...

#286

⇓

Well, they're right next to each other, both countries.

#287

⇓

That's perfect. Perfect.

#288

⇓

That's close enough, dude. There's probably a lot of going back and forth.

#289

⇓

Yeah, Pakistanis are probably great with twists too, in their own kind of way, you know?

#290

⇓

Great. How'd you like to be in the movie business?

#291

⇓

Ma'am, how you doing on makeup in there? We're ready.

#292

⇓

Well, I'm okay, but I feel like maybe they used a little too much blood.

#293

⇓

Ma'am, we need to move here. Let's go. Let's go.

#294

⇓

My gut feeling is they went a little overboard.

#295

⇓

I mean, can you even tell that it's me? Yeah. It's perfect.

#296

⇓

- We just need to pair you up with a husband for the shot. - Husband?

#297

⇓

Yeah. How about this guy right here?

#298

⇓

That'll work. That'll work.

#299

⇓

Whoa! Great.

#300

⇓

Holy shit, Dee. This is like...

#301

⇓

Wow. I could barely tell that was you.

#302

⇓

- I mean, did they dip you by your heels into the blood? - That's ridiculous.

#303

⇓

That looks so stupid. Uh...

#304

⇓

Frank had 'em go a little more subtle with me, so you could see my face.

#305

⇓

This? This is it? Yeah.

#306

⇓

How the hell did you manage that?

#307

⇓

No, I'm working my ass of. Corpses, let's go now!

#308

⇓

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go on, go on, go on.

#309

⇓

Go on. Go on, will ya? Whatever.

#310

⇓

Go ahead.

#311

⇓

Everybody focus. Get down now.

#312

⇓

Very simple shot. Lot to do today. Lot to do.

#313

⇓

I need all corpses lying down. We are losing light, people. Let's go.

#314

⇓

- I need you to turn over. I need you face down. - Face down?

#315

⇓

Yes. No, 'cause then you won't be able to see my face.

#316

⇓

Face down or in the pile of bodies over there. You pick it.

#317

⇓

- Face down. - That's what I thought. All right. Energy. Energy.

#318

⇓

But you're dead. Dead energy. Dead energy. Here we go.

#319

⇓

I get it. I get it. Okay, so he's on the edge of this cliff...

#320

⇓

throwing his nose off into the ocean because he's at the happiest point of his life.

#321

⇓

No, no, no, no, no, no. This is the scientist's lowest point in the movie.

#322

⇓

Okay. Here. He throws his nose of the cliff into the ocean...

#323

⇓

because he's- he's rejecting his life as a savior of all of mankind.

#324

⇓

Oh, I finally just got it.

#325

⇓

Oh, bro, that is...

#326

⇓

Bro, that is- That's nice.

#327

⇓

Deep shit, man. That's awesome.

#328

⇓

That's awesome. It's nice.

#329

⇓

- Where are you landing on the full penetration? - I'm into it. Big time.

#330

⇓

The Injun says yes- Snaking around.

#331

⇓

So that's what we're doing, I guess. It's done. It's on.

#332

⇓

But, but, but- I-I- I mean, the title?

#333

⇓

Oh, yeah. The title. Title sucks.

#334

⇓

It's stupid, yeah. Come on.

#335

⇓

Title sucks, right? The Fifth Sense?

#336

⇓

I mean, stupid. Well, yeah.

#337

⇓

- Who came up- Who came up with that? - Uh...

#338

⇓

Stupid. Come on, man.

#339

⇓

So stupid. You kidding?

#340

⇓

So why don't you type out this whole movie real quick,

#341

⇓

and we'll go sell it to Shyamalan. Yeah.

#342

⇓

Oh, no. I don't write. I'm a big picture kind of guy.

#343

⇓

You don't write. You don't... write.

#344

⇓

Oh.

#345

⇓

- Hello? - Dennis, hey.

#346

⇓

We hit a wall on the pitch. Uh, what pitch is that, man?

#347

⇓

- The pitch of the movie that you're a producer on. - Oh, yeah. That thing. Yeah.

#348

⇓

- What's up with that? - We realized that none of us are writers,

#349

⇓

so we decided to play to our strengths and make a poster.

#350

⇓

What tells a person about a movie better than a picture of what the movie is?

#351

⇓

What are your thoughts?

#352

⇓

What are my thoughts? My thoughts are that's brilliant.

#353

⇓

I think it's cool. Cut!

#354

⇓

Huh? What are you doing?

#355

⇓

-Oh, shit. Were you guys rolling on that? -Yes. We were rolling on that.

#356

⇓

Do not talk on your phone during the shot.

#357

⇓

Okay? And you, ma'am?

#358

⇓

- Oh, me? - Do not roll over during the shot.

#359

⇓

Oh, I know, but you know what? I thought about it.

#360

⇓

- I feel like it's better if I'm right side up. - Back over.

#361

⇓

"Back over! Face down on the hot cement!"

#362

⇓

- Let's roll it again, people. - "Yeah, again!"

#363

⇓

Brains! Brains!

#364

⇓

Cut! Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut! What the hell are you doing?

#365

⇓

Huh? You. Why are you saying "brains"? What...

#366

⇓

Oh, 'cause it's a zombie movie. It's, like, the Shyamalan twist. I figured it out.

#367

⇓

This is not a zombie movie. It's a movie about Serbian genocide.

#368

⇓

Really? Huh.

#369

⇓

You! Sir! Yes, sir. Your phone, it's ringing.

#370

⇓

Oh, yeah. I know. But listen, man.

#371

⇓

If you don't let me answer it and solve my boys' problems, the phone's gonna ring.

#372

⇓

You can't have it both ways. Can I talk or not?

#373

⇓

Yeah. I gotta agree with him on that one, buddy.

#374

⇓

You're not being very clear. Which is it?

#375

⇓

Turn your phone of! You, miss! Don't improvise! Let's go!

#376

⇓

Okay! You know what? I have had about enough of you dicking me around all day.

#377

⇓

Okay? Where is M. Night? I have questions for him. Yeah.

#378

⇓

Oh, no. Mr. Shyamalan isn't directing this unit. This is a simple pickup shot.

#379

⇓

Hold on a second. Hold on a second.

#380

⇓

Where the hell is M. Night? He's not here?

#381

⇓

No. What the hell's going on here?

#382

⇓

- Well, he won't get of his phone, for starters. - Give me your phone, Dennis.

#383

⇓

What? Give me your phone.

#384

⇓

All right. I heard that.

#385

⇓

No, I'll tell you exactly what's going on.

#386

⇓

This guy's been treating me like a dickwad all day long,

#387

⇓

and I don't appreciate it. Ha, ha, ha!

#388

⇓

All right. I'm gonna fix it, hon. Thank you.

#389

⇓

Fire both of them and I'll take their spot. What?

#390

⇓

- Done. You're both fired. - Hold on a second. What are you talking about, Frank?

#391

⇓

Being an agent is crap. I want to be an extra, lay around doing dick.

#392

⇓

Great. Both of you, get your shit out of the tent. Get out of here.

#393

⇓

All right, fine. Hey, give me my phone back, Frank. What?

#394

⇓

Just to be clear, pal. I don't care about any of this.

#395

⇓

I got my own thing going on, so...

#396

⇓

I just gave you the old Shyamalan twist.

#397

⇓

Oh, maybe you did, maybe you didn't, but I'll tell you what.

#398

⇓

I don't care either.

#399

⇓

All right. What do I do?

#400

⇓

Hey-oh!

#401

⇓

Hey, where his he, dude? Where's Night?

#402

⇓

We got it! Dude, we totally got it.

#403

⇓

Brace yourself! Brace yourself!

#404

⇓

Crime Stinks: The Smell of Penetration.

#405

⇓

"He nose the truth."

#406

⇓

Oh, okay, yeah. I get it. Get it?

#407

⇓

Yeah, I-I get it. Now, there is a lot going on there with- with Dolph.

#408

⇓

We had to make some artistic compromises. I think we're good with the body.

#409

⇓

Yeah, but it's a lovable character. It's a lovable guy.

#410

⇓

You know, these are good compromises.

#411

⇓

Bottom line, M. Night's gonna love it. So where is he?

#412

⇓

Night? Uh, well- Oh, he's not here.

#413

⇓

Jesus Christ, Dee. What happened to you?

#414

⇓

He brought in a "B" team or something like that,

#415

⇓

covered me all in blood.

#416

⇓

That slumdog bastard twisted all of us!

#417

⇓

Oh, shit, dude. We need him to execute our script. Yeah.

#418

⇓

Actually, you guys don't need Shyamalan to execute your script...

#419

⇓

because I've got the mother of all Shyamalan twists in my hand right here.

#420

⇓

You see, you think I've just been playing with my phone the whole time,

#421

⇓

but you're wrong.

#422

⇓

Been writing a little movie script of my own,

#423

⇓

and I finished it right before you guys called.

#424

⇓

It's a horror movie about two men trapped in a garage stairwell...

#425

⇓

who get hunted down by a psychotic, homeless killer...

#426

⇓

who turns out to be a security guard... instead.

#427

⇓

- That's our story, dude. - Damn right, it's your story.

#428

⇓

And that's why you two guys are gonna be attached as producers.

#429

⇓

Nice, baby! Producers!

#430

⇓

All right! I feel like that's...

#431

⇓

I'm a natural born producer. I love showbiz, dude. I love showbiz.

#432

⇓

Uh, can I be in it? Uh, you know, normally, Dee,

#433

⇓

I would take this opportunity to insult you,

#434

⇓

but I'm gonna throw an insane twist your way.

#435

⇓

You're gonna be the lead of the film. I am? Really?

#436

⇓

No, you're not. Twisted again! Boom! Try and keep up.

#437

⇓

Lot of twists. Lot of twists in this thing, so try and keep up.

#438

⇓

There's so many twists, I can't even follow it.

#439

⇓

It's tough to follow. I'm gonna pull up the first scene...

#440

⇓

so you guys can get a taste of what else is going on in this film.

#441

⇓

Yeah. Lay us on it. It's really good.

#442

⇓

Uh- For some reason the phone is frozen- Lay it on us.

#443

⇓

And I'm having a little trouble pulling up the scene...

#444

⇓

And why is there grease all over...

#445

⇓

Is this Frank's g- goddamn sausage grease?

#446

⇓

Frank, you froze my phone with your sausage greasy fingers!

#447

⇓

Frank, you son of a bitch!

#448

⇓

Cut! Cut! For the love of Christ!

#449

⇓

ENGLISH - US - PSDH

#450

⇓