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Home » It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia » S05E07 — The Gang Wrestles for the Troops

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Season 5, Episode 7 — The Gang Wrestles for the Troops

TMDB episode metadata
Show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Episode title: The Gang Wrestles for the Troops
Air date: October 29, 2009
Director: Randall Einhorn
Top billed cast: Charlie Day, Glenn Howerton, Rob Mac, Kaitlin Olson, Danny DeVito
The gang puts together a wrestling show for returning troops. Meanwhile, Dee finally meets the soldier that she has been communicating with over the internet.
Source: TMDB
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Hulk Hogan hammering away!
hammeringhoganhulk
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Get him, Hulk! Come on, Hulk!
hulk
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Ohh! Hulk's the man.
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I have a question though. What's going on with Hulk Hogan's hair?
hairhulkquestion
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It's blond, and yet it's silken like that of a Chinese man.
blondchinese
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Ah. Yes. That is Hulk Hogan's signature look...
hulksignature
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blond Chinese hair and the skin of a hot dog.
blondchinesehairskin
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It's awesome. The whole thing's fake, but it's really awesome.
awesomefakewhole
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Fake? What the hell are you talking about? It's not fake.
fake
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Those guys got bashed and bloodied.
bashed
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I've seen guys get pounded in the ring. It's still fake though.
fakepoundedringseen
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Charlie, Charlie. I was there once.
charliecharlie-charlie
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I saw a guy pick up a trash can, smash it into a guy's head.
headpicksmashtrash
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- Blood went everywhere. - Okay, what is going on here?
blood
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Oh, yeah. Right here he's going into a state of Hulkamania.
state
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When he's like this, nothing can hurt him. Okay?
hurt
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It's like a seizure of strength. Yeah. Yeah.
seizurestrength
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What do we got here? "Hey, sexy, I can't get you out of my mind."
mindsexy
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Who's that addressed to? Who's Soldier of Fortune?
addressedfortunesoldier
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He's just this guy I've been chatting online with, whatever.
chattingonline
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Oh, so that would make you Desert Rose? Yes, it would.
desertdesert-roserose
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Wow. What a couple of losers.
couplelosers
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Oh! Oh, really? Well, this loser that you're referring to...
loserreferring
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happens to be an American soldier in Iraq.
americanhappensiraqsoldier
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Back it up. Don't joke about that. I'm not joking.
jokejoking
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- Are you serious? - I'm dead serious.
deaddead-seriousserious
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And his platoon's coming home this weekend, and we're gonna hang out together,
comingcoming-homehanghomeweekend
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so suck on that.
suck
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I feel terrible. You should.
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I feel terrible too, 'cause he's gonna come back from Iraq,
iraq
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and he's gonna find out that he's been chattin' with...
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No. That's no good.
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There's a high suicide rate for these guys.
ratesuicide
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He's gonna be crushed. This is emblematic of a bigger problem, guys.
biggerbigger-problemcrushedproblem
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I don't think people are proud to be Americans anymore.
americansanymoreproud
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Not like we were in the '80s.
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In the '80s, we were so patriotic.
patriotic
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When Hogan was doing his thing...
hogan
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and we were killing Iranians or whatever, we were proud.
killingproud
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There's no fanfare. There's no parades. Oh, yeah.
fanfare
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- Girls are tricking troops on the Internet. - Nobody's tricking anybody.
anybodygirlsinternetnobodystrickingtroops
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We gotta do something about this,
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'cause people just aren't showing their appreciation for these guys.
appreciationshowing
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We gotta show 'em the love. We gotta do something.
love
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Let's step it up.
step
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Let's be the guys that do something for the troops. Let's put on a show or something.
troops
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- All right. - Something with a little pizzazz.
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- Like a thank you for all your service. - Yes!
service
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Something that celebrates the troops, celebrates America, maybe celebrates us.
americacelebratestroops
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I'm into that. I know you are, dude.
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And what's the best way to celebrate America, boys?
americabestboyscelebrate
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Hulk Hogan is a man possessed of a love of his country.
countryhoganhulklovepossessed
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# I am a real American #
americanrealreal-american
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- # Fight for the rights of every man # - 'Bout wrestling?
boutfightrightswrestling
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Yeah!
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Yeah!
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Yeah, Maniac!
maniac
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- Get up, you son of a bitch! - Yeah, Maniac!
bitchmaniac
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Thanks, bud. There you go.
thanks
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So I booked this venue for Friday night.
bookedfridayfriday-nightnight
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You got this place? Yeah.
place
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I told them it was for the troops. They gave us a discount.
discounttroops
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Ho-ho! That is what I'm talking about, dude.
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People wanna support the troops. They don't have a venue to do it.
supporttroops
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Yeah, how are we gonna do that though?
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None of us knows how to wrestle. Wrong!
knowswrestle
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Charlie and I do. We used to do backyard wrestling all the time, dude.
backyardcharlieusedwrestling
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We were an awesome tag team. That's right. We were the Pigeon Boys.
awesomeboyspigeonpigeon-boysteam
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Pigeon Boys!
boyspigeonpigeon-boys
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Pigeon Boys? Doesn't sound that cool now as an adult.
adultboyscoolpigeonpigeon-boyssound
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You're right. We gotta update it.
update
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Let's be eagles, dude. That's like patriotic and fires on all cylinders.
cylinderseaglesfirespatriotic
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I feel like pigeons are survivors though.
pigeonssurvivors
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I'm gonna side with Dennis on this one, bro. Yeah.
dennisside
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What do you say we get this guy into the mix?
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- - He's probably got some experience.
experience
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He could show us the ropes.
ropes
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Oh, um, Mr. Maniac! Mr. Maniac!
maniac
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- Mr. Maniac, excuse me. - Somethin' I can do for you fellas?
excusefellasmaniacsomethin
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Yeah. Absolutely. That was a great show in there, man.
absolutely
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That was amazing! Great show!
amazing
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That was so awesome! You drank your own blood.
awesomeblooddrank
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- You were choking the guy- - Just trying to put on a good show.
choking
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Oh, you did. No, no, no, no. Let me do you a favor.
favor
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You're good kids, you know? Hang on. Hang on.
hangkids
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What are you getting, an autograph? No, we're good, man.
autograph
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That's all right. We don't need an autograph.
autograph
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We're actually here for a different- God bless you.
bless
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- You have a good time. You know, whale away. - This is a parking ticket.
parkingticketwhale
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You bet. You have fun with it, okay?
fun
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Actually, sir, um...
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I don't know if this is too forward to ask you this,
forward
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but we're putting on a wrestling match...
matchputtingwrestlingwrestling-match
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for the troops coming home from overseas,
comingcoming-homehomeoverseastroops
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and we were thinking maybe we can get you to wrestle in it.
thinkingwrestle
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How much?
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Ooh. We haven't discussed that. How much?
discussed
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- How much do you usually charge? - Thirty bucks weekdays,
buckschargethirtyusually
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50 bucks weekends.
bucksweekends
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Is that it? Reasonable.
reasonable
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That we can do. Reasonable.
reasonable
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Yeah. Now. Absolutely.
absolutely
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Now. All right. Give him some money. Give that to him now.
money
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I suppose- All right. Oh, boy. That's okay.
suppose
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Whoa! Yo! Deandra! Yo! Deandra!
deandrawhoa
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Yes, Frank. Yes, yes. I can hear you. What are you doing here?
frank
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I'm gonna use the army guy to get the word out about the wrestling match.
armymatchwordwrestlingwrestling-match
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Why are you dressed like that?
dressed
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Well, my chat name was Desert Rose.
chatdesertdesert-rosenamerose
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So I dressed like a rose. I'm gonna give him a rose.
dressedrose
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And I'm gonna play "Kiss From a Rose" by Seal.
kissroseseal
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I got a whole thing I'm doing here. Can you please get out?
whole
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Oh. The boys and I got him a little welcome-home gift.
boysgifthomewelcomewelcome-home
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Jean shorts? You bought him a pair of jean shorts?
boughtjeanjean-shortspairshorts
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Yeah. Goddamn it, Frank.
frankgoddamngoddamn-it
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You guys are gonna have plenty of time to ruin this for me at some point in the future.
futureplentypointruin
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Can you please let me get it started first?
started
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Hey! Desert Rose!
desertdesert-roserose
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It's me, Ben.
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It's so nice to finally meet you in person, Desert Rose.
desertdesert-rosefinallyfinally-meetmeetpersonrose
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Yeah. Oh, no!
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Because... I'm not Desert Rose.
desertdesert-roserose
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I, uh- I'm a friend.
friend
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I'm a friend of hers. Great girl.
friendgirl
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Uh, she just wanted me to come here...
wanted
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so that I could tell you...
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that she wasn't gonna be able to show up here today.
abletoday
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Oh, well, with the dress and the rose, I thought that you...
dressrose
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You thought- Yeah. Yeah. Well, of course you thought that.
course
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You thought it because of this and the- It's fine.
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Don't blame yourself.
blame
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You're not- You're not dumb. You just...
dumb
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Um, so- All right, well...
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# There used to be a graying tower alone on the sea #.
alonetowerused
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I, uh, wanna invite you to a wrestling match.
invitematchwrestlingwrestling-match
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Oh. And, uh, the guys...
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we all chipped in to get you these, uh...
chipped
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Uh, this is a coming-home present. Uh...
comingcoming-homehomepresent
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There you go.
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And thank you for your service.
service
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# Baby #
baby
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# I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the gray #
comparegraykissrose
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# Ooh, the more I get of you #
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# The stranger it feels Yeah ##.
feelsstranger
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No! I don't give a rat's ass about your collection agency,
agencycollectionrats
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and as for the $15 co-payment, eat shit and die!
payment
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Ah, shit!
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Sorry. I'm gonna go get greased up,
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and then, uh, I'll come back and rock on.
rock
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Fifteen dollars? He's upset about $15?
dollarsfifteenupset
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Yeah. Smashing our phone.
phonesmashing
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Not a lot of money. Let's move past it for now.
moneypast
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Let's focus on our stuff. Let's focus on our...
focusstuff
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The most important part of our routine is the entrance.
entrancepartroutine
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fdefb1a8-d600-4108-aa9e-d2e577432a2e.gif
Yes. Yes. Absolutely.
absolutely
↓
976e0aea-e466-41d0-b5a0-9fc83edad006.gif
Whoa!
whoa
↓
a0ca549b-421d-4f36-af9b-d5188c16ad18.gif
Ahhhh! Frank, what the hell are you doing?
ahhhhfrank
↓
20974a04-74a5-4864-a822-c1a3c99cdb6a.gif
Ahhh! It's my character. I'm the Trash Man.
ahhhcharactertrash
↓
3170ed43-c4b9-4d7d-aa20-ba7bf0dfac2c.gif
I come out. I throw trash all over the ring.
ringthrowtrash
↓
4ec022c0-8fc2-42cb-a436-c38cd82e99f8.gif
And then I start eating garbage.
eatinggarbagestartstart-eating
↓
be74dcf5-6624-4f83-a300-40f4cfbd27d6.gif
And then I pick up the trash can...
picktrash
↓
6e380884-8358-4313-993a-0566639074d4.gif
and I bash the guy on the head.
bashhead
↓
e9f0237f-1b2b-4c40-893d-d72da42ebc19.gif
Oh, that's gonna be a disaster. No, no.
disaster
↓
ad642bff-df68-4928-a31c-b23c9779c07f.gif
Nobody's gonna get hurt. I'm telling you...
hurtnobodystelling
↓
969eb1e6-46b0-4037-9279-18020e84fcfd.gif
Like you said, it's all fake.
fake
↓
27328e6e-6adf-43ed-a6be-02fa6e1b2ded.gif
But it has nothing to do with the troops, Frank.
franktroops
↓
9e9b5edd-d524-49b0-b3f7-d1930510778b.gif
A 60-year-old man eating trash? Who wants to see that?
eatingtrashwants
↓
8efc6993-ac81-4824-b31b-a530ed1eb980.gif
But that's what people want.
↓
a048ae0a-5b62-4150-852b-efb216a10048.gif
Hey, I got something for you. I got a character for you.
character
↓
ee05b796-e266-4dae-9a62-c66313320249.gif
You can be the ref.
↓
07121534-3af1-4657-86a9-8966567e073d.gif
I'm not gonna be the ref. I'm a villain. Don't you see?
villain
↓
5d5a8ed6-f2be-43e9-beb2-7d6a4bad04ea.gif
Look, I got garbage, and I-
garbage
↓
bf665c6b-8728-4709-b4ed-4ab3db2117e8.gif
- Oh, Frank! - That's nasty, dude.
franknasty
↓
f5eab90a-f58d-4ab7-918e-5dff0f87688f.gif
Are you choking?
choking
↓
04b85801-9b0f-45b1-a9c8-8cd3664b5a4b.gif
- Oh, my God. - Throw it up in the bathroom!
bathroomthrow
↓
b0e8ad32-364e-493f-bf04-e8b5d5b99089.gif
- Get out of here! - Go take a break. Go take a break.
break
↓
496a4aa7-c6f1-4b93-bb44-29065c79ec9b.gif
The troops are gonna be very happy to see that.
happytroops
↓
ed0f6d5d-dd6d-4740-903d-87235ace9930.gif
All right, let's get- Look at this mess.
mess
↓
587aafdf-1690-4ff4-948a-3a838db2aa7b.gif
Let's get back to it. Charlie...
charlie
↓
bbf44092-f67f-4833-a7ce-8488838cf36e.gif
So we're talking about the entrances, okay?
↓
41e74c10-59e7-4f80-a397-bd08aebb35c4.gif
We got a good idea. We got a good idea.
idea
↓
bf3a5416-0726-4076-88e8-a36345d9e995.gif
They're gonna announce our name. Birds of War.
announcebirdsname
↓
c457b2da-89a9-42d5-8767-c50e04ab4acb.gif
I love that new name. I love it. Yeah.
lovename
↓
a945c568-d133-4787-ab36-a8fd4d6a04eb.gif
And maybe we'll do an eagle screech. That'll be great.
eaglescreechthatll
↓
862d60aa-e342-4082-866e-ee7e4bf3792c.gif
And then we'll come out of the tunnel.
tunnel
↓
46aba62a-d0ac-42e7-8974-13c93ed7b61d.gif
We'll start a stomp, clap. Stomp, clap.
clapstartstompstomp-clap
↓
c66f81c4-856f-4e5b-90b3-35a18c9c4b03.gif
Stomp, stomp, clap. Stomp, clap.
clapstompstomp-clap
↓
bb66bcd9-33bd-461f-aca4-bc1ff3f670fb.gif
And we're gonna write this great song. It's gonna be about had badass we are.
badasssongwrite
↓
46538304-322e-45c0-9054-079ade09110d.gif
But tell him about the- Oh, yeah. About how we soar through the air,
soar
↓
a271d321-ed86-4ec5-8951-98321a861280.gif
how we live in a nest, how we like to protect our eggs from predators.
eggslivenestpredatorsprotect
↓
1abe543e-5fee-4d2d-944d-00bbb8fa9b95.gif
And our young. We regurgitate, dude.
young
↓
2469b7bb-0b70-44cb-84ed-dd5f6cf3fb7a.gif
Can I stop you guys for one second? Mm-hmm.
second
↓
70ed160c-02f5-4d6b-8a80-486564e7a951.gif
What you just described,
described
↓
c75265b6-9fb4-4de5-9d44-fbc1b80382a8.gif
that seems like we're singing about the lifestyle of an eagle.
eaglelifestyleseemssinging
↓
9a347c0d-9745-4adc-96c7-121efa7e8cde.gif
Yeah. Mm-hmm.
↓
5c729263-a84b-4483-8298-86f006f96d81.gif
I was under the impression that we were presenting ourselves as birdmen,
impressionpresenting
↓
249fc7c9-8f8e-4c74-812f-4fa4575c98d0.gif
which, to me, is infinitely cooler...
cooler
↓
02e4a3c3-9208-4eba-84ae-e09d145e97f1.gif
than just sort of being a bird. No, no, no, no, no.
bird
↓
ff3bebe6-60e0-47f2-9ca7-7362825091c5.gif
It's good. We can meet in the middle though.
meetmiddle
↓
dc8e93c5-57e3-4d49-b282-dd0c6aa72a9d.gif
We'll meet you somewhere in the middle. That's all I ask.
meetmiddle
↓
219b3f18-5541-4869-9490-127b9f91525d.gif
I want people to be able to see that we're not just birds.
ablebirds
↓
8d47e280-b5b8-4527-aab5-a34787d90710.gif
Yeah.
↓
425b92a2-4697-4a81-924a-7d533897a6e1.gif
Hey-hey.
↓
4ea1d27f-09f7-4772-aeba-3ea61892fa1c.gif
Hi. Thank you for stepping in as Desert Rose.
desertdesert-roserosestepping
↓
24bae5d0-2738-4914-83eb-7445f0daef2f.gif
Ah, no problem. I've dated a lot of disabled men in my past.
dateddisabledpastproblem
↓
8afd4e64-801f-43fe-abae-f0ba63bbdb7a.gif
So- I enjoy the power. Why aren't you wearing red?
enjoypowerwearing
↓
42893986-9dfd-407b-a088-3b04ca0c746c.gif
I was very specific about that. I don't do red.
specific
↓
f3d21615-1f8c-413e-ba7d-a386d796dddb.gif
Well, you look like a grape. Fine. Then I'll be Desert Grape.
desertgrape
↓
eb1281d8-6ac2-4cd8-a9cb-e2664562a6df.gif
He wasn't talking to Desert Grape. He was talking to Desert Rose.
desertdesert-rosegraperose
↓
6a47287b-f15f-47d3-ac84-947893bb5a9d.gif
That's very specific, and- You know what? All right.
specific
↓
235272f3-f6e7-4a83-a811-e5c837298379.gif
This is what we'll do. I'll just put this... here.
↓
b3a6a94a-8574-452c-816d-c5ae4c021705.gif
Oh. You're sweaty. Oh. Okay. It's humid outside.
sweaty
↓
6d96c3fc-b153-4172-a9d8-c35ee86c3e06.gif
So, uh, which one is he? Right behind you, in the yellow.
behindyellow
↓
eac7d49c-1e97-4d2e-bd7c-c9e11493279e.gif
Oh, Mama like. Cute, right?
cutemama
↓
bbb41c5f-0c0a-4773-a9dc-e80ea93d729c.gif
Did he send you any dick pics? 'Cause it could be a mess down there.
dickmesspicssend
↓
288d88ca-e08b-4089-810e-535a604a28d5.gif
For the love of God, please don't ask him about his dick.
dicklove
↓
414ca258-a64a-4e40-839a-d2954c1e6808.gif
Okay. Have it your way. I'll figure it out soon enough.
figure
↓
8e24912b-fe93-46c0-b745-802600404bc3.gif
And away we go.
↓
5d7dc67e-5dce-4078-880d-4effbbbd90ef.gif
She looks ridiculous.
ridiculous
↓
a2b53d86-ce7c-437a-a93d-f8f6864777df.gif
Desert Rose? Yeah.
desertdesert-roserose
↓
1a3fc9d4-08c3-4cbf-9306-13cc97efde27.gif
- Hi. - What? What the hell?
↓
c75f380f-6d2c-4d53-bc65-c96741e7c4c9.gif
It feels so good to finally hold you.
feelsfinally
↓
9b7847ce-df26-4977-85f6-1dceebd5018a.gif
Uh- Uh, you're- you're biting my lip.
biting
↓
f4cbfce1-e676-4fa2-8a12-1d7304bba141.gif
Hi. Oh! What a coincidence.
coincidence
↓
8b62486e-0742-42e1-890e-795aa1d75965.gif
Hey, oh- Oh. You're that girl from the bus stop. Yes, I am.
girl
↓
d66dbbbf-87f9-4805-98f6-c40df957e451.gif
You guys are friends, right?
friends
↓
90a9368e-e64a-4625-a6a2-65163f495650.gif
Mm-hmm. Not really.
↓
cc440246-ed9f-4514-b7c2-e6f3a00b74ed.gif
Well, tell your friend thanks for the shorts.
friendshortsthanks
↓
1ecd8b04-3683-4570-92eb-c32cc8f17f88.gif
They fit great. Yeah.
↓
3ca71b66-c3bb-4d85-9285-8301b43ffa72.gif
Will do. So, what's...
↓
3319a999-1e93-43e7-8802-e9f67b9efb98.gif
What's the deal with you standing?
dealstanding
↓
3e0499e0-9804-40b8-aef4-56eae7c4a6a8.gif
I thought there was a wheelchair and you were in it.
wheelchair
↓
9756d99d-7762-438c-bf02-11e9fba157f2.gif
Oh, no. No. I twisted my knee getting of a plane in Germany.
germanykneeplanetwisted
↓
f0111a78-f3dc-420e-8404-0f8e2ed4f375.gif
I was just trying to stay off of it.
↓
6ea6927e-b7e0-447c-aad0-194f99a51521.gif
It's good now. Oh!
↓
cd8c22c3-cef6-499f-9aea-00d6bb42e7a9.gif
Yes, it is. Can I talk to you for a second?
second
↓
4114ab0a-f206-469c-b935-e5d620bcc3c9.gif
I'll be back. What? What? What? I changed my mind.
changedmind
↓
20ca49a7-6efd-4758-86e2-6a3690b0c0fe.gif
So move out of the way so I can swoop in.
swoop
↓
b35fbcdf-6d63-439c-8c6d-37ce79361d74.gif
Uh-uh. No changeys. What? Artemis, I'm warning you.
artemiswarning
↓
5e566456-32b3-4fdf-9fe6-df9e4a8906da.gif
If you don't get out of the way, I'm gonna bring out the big guns.
bringguns
↓
c297285e-9f0a-475b-88c6-16540b2ea91e.gif
Oh, hit me with your best shot, you stupid bitch.
bestbest-shotbitchshotstupidstupid-bitch
↓
ae5361ed-991e-4e0c-9b3a-32a66bead28a.gif
Ah.
↓
0fe47a3c-87a3-43bd-b5f1-5c6f59714305.gif
I was looking around. I was thinking.
lookingthinking
↓
0c1baa92-9436-455e-8ee7-ef104008389f.gif
I- I brought some- Ohh!
brought
↓
9b489b38-d169-4765-8eb0-62c1c9c3f3b7.gif
Oh. Oh.
↓
3f5c392d-9406-4101-bc83-dd698454387a.gif
You just hit- I'm sorry about that.
↓
3a87927b-b242-41c5-86ee-9fbf31c0870d.gif
Just props that I was bringing.
bringingprops
↓
ab610f83-ae26-4c76-b347-ce59963301b2.gif
That's not a prop though. That's sharp razor wire.
proprazorsharpwire
↓
46b0ec86-f98b-4c6e-9809-3d6786377c5b.gif
Mr., uh, Maniac, we were thinking...
maniacthinking
↓
145e7b23-5008-48dd-92ed-fe6ab34c86e4.gif
maybe we could go a little bit more traditional with it.
traditional
↓
80def271-2c84-49f0-adad-16b5388a1df4.gif
Just figure-four leg-locks, pile drivers, body slams. Off the top rope, suplex...
bodydriversfigurefourlockspileropeslams
↓
296e2ebd-85a2-4c32-a5e5-a9350cfb5620.gif
No, no, no. People, that old-school bullshit, that don't play no more.
bullshitschool
↓
bdd4e2bc-40a7-4ce6-abbf-d5ce91a5ed68.gif
Really? Yeah. It's gotta be gruesome, you know?
gruesome
↓
13ad2c4b-1be8-4f6a-ba9e-f1f9138187f6.gif
Those people, they like blood, you know?
blood
↓
9cd14373-c5d7-4fd7-b013-215803390003.gif
I guess. Well, guys like you...
↓
3bd08e3d-f0fb-408d-958e-1ae9c450c932.gif
You know what? I love you guys.
love
↓
ea58d881-26de-448e-ba4d-2a97508fb39e.gif
You know, you remind me of my kids.
kidsremind
↓
1e8588f5-ab14-4f38-b5e2-76b244527bc2.gif
You got kids, Maniac?
kidsmaniac
↓
a0b4a334-137a-4edc-9f14-7ea68bcc66d6.gif
Nah. Not anymore.
anymore
↓
2068c0d6-e1e6-43a7-bf80-1def410c5396.gif
What does that mean?
↓
b6b6a61a-b690-4741-97de-a73e5c62283d.gif
All right. We got a problem.
problem
↓
cfc84ecf-c7a6-46f5-bae8-714e32656454.gif
What is he talking about with his kids?
kids
↓
d2b93f48-0696-4650-a27c-aa25bddfb14d.gif
- Did he kill his kids? Is that what happened? - He just drifted away.
driftedhappenedkidskill
↓
b888b6ab-7d50-4e7b-8d25-3dc99a3ffde0.gif
And look at this. I feel like he's living out of his car.
living
↓
61e4b7f0-357b-4c79-a617-eed5a6cb459a.gif
- He's got blankets. What is that, a pile of laundry? - Look at this, dude.
blanketslaundrypile
↓
b8ad7150-4408-49db-af17-59ae5766d6b4.gif
That's just a bucket of chestnuts.
bucket
↓
5b244370-23da-4451-a040-efca65630db9.gif
Who has- What? Is he foraging for his food?
food
↓
fdf0870d-963f-4894-8c43-2f410d7b1496.gif
I don't know. Why the hell would you have a bucket of chestnuts?
bucket
↓
cd4d90f0-2c16-4e19-8bbb-1e53d82a8eb6.gif
We are dealing with a legitimate maniac now. That is clear to me.
cleardealinglegitimatemaniac
↓
a1ff20a8-b6c3-4342-9a93-1d334e053182.gif
His mania is not confined to the ring. Ahh!
ring
↓
34278a6d-6173-4b9d-8c3b-7cfc927ec224.gif
He kept calling you the "N" word earlier. Yeah.
callingword
↓
efb34728-9d52-4206-9601-5a5e6c15687f.gif
I wasn't gonna bring that up. I didn't wanna freak him out. Me?
bringfreak
↓
49cc0c29-d7c1-4e40-822c-a5c783cf1628.gif
Yes. He was calling me the "N" word?
callingword
↓
a775e9f4-251f-414c-b1f9-b0c596516c0f.gif
Yes. Every time you turned your back.
turned
↓
ff722063-884b-4df5-a5c9-6aff2c1253c0.gif
He was like, "You stupid 'N. ' Go get me grease, 'N."'
greasestupid
↓
aa060c62-d691-46d3-bc76-da26d40f2b4f.gif
"N" this, "N" that. Why?
↓
ac7534d0-ed29-4238-ab72-d5e29cdd424d.gif
I don't know. He has a problem with black people.
blackproblem
↓
ec95673c-3a85-461c-8703-eec8ef4b1b46.gif
Or does he have a problem with me? Both.
problem
↓
b7f9df49-c1b6-41f5-9f99-e9e1ef3cfd0f.gif
I don't know. I don't know. Oh, my God.
↓
4bbeb320-dc56-47b2-8d0b-b5689ebe700f.gif
Let's get rid of him. That's it. How do you get rid of a guy like that?
↓
ce7067e1-b60c-4323-ba06-f53528c02496.gif
I don't wanna be anywhere in the ring with that guy.
ring
↓
bcc14b5a-ce0f-4b24-9c31-7acd966947d2.gif
What if we're just hype men? We don't even go in the ring.
hypering
↓
4df7a3c4-f01b-4dcc-ae19-fd7e050362f6.gif
Yes. We let him do the wrestling. We do not wrestle.
wrestlewrestling
↓
543b9881-54c2-4278-a863-42099b8a608c.gif
No. We gotta find someone for him to wrestle though.
wrestle
↓
27650be1-f341-4490-b72c-61a0d81fd142.gif
Right. Right.
↓
4a9342df-5f85-45c7-ac63-6de39a141554.gif
Someone with, you know, nothing to lose, right? Yeah.
lose
↓
f1a483d1-9a50-44be-ac00-06bd57d246e3.gif
Cricket! What's up, Cricket?
cricket
↓
17afd115-de71-4c1e-8b5c-2a2d38e78112.gif
- Cricket! - No!
cricket
↓
65b4a9a9-fb77-4539-9ee8-b627b06e8b7a.gif
Cricket, cricket, cricket, crickety.
cricketcricket-cricket
↓
74a25395-84c9-4fc9-bb66-e34680c38848.gif
What do you want from me? We want you to wrestle...
wrestle
↓
ae7b0bdc-a565-442b-814e-e4b61d9d8057.gif
at a wrestling match that we're gonna throw.
matchthrowwrestlingwrestling-match
↓
3eea7d75-8810-4326-a7e5-a5ecaa8f933e.gif
No. How about that?
↓
f787b4e8-508f-41bb-b857-9ba584c6ed52.gif
I'm not gonna participate in your little games and schemes. Cricket.
cricketgamesparticipateschemes
↓
5992d1a3-a250-412b-8dbd-418511a31ea6.gif
It's for the troops. Yeah.
troops
↓
ecfb2bf9-c6a0-4865-bb07-73ac985dc3c9.gif
I don't give a shit about the troops.
troops
↓
0b507ed4-ceb8-4054-a2b9-cc036dec573f.gif
Come on, man. Oh! We're gonna pay you, bro.
↓
6120b21f-9e9b-4567-816d-2e4fc880aa9a.gif
We're gonna pay you. There's pay involved.
involved
↓
f1d6f492-d36e-44fc-bf95-de679356417c.gif
You give a shit about that, Cricket?
cricket
↓
bb3ccc90-b160-4ceb-a88d-0c0e68b13935.gif
You payin'? Yeah, man.
↓
eaf68752-3da4-45e7-8dc5-2bc27c53968e.gif
Oh, I see. So, am I gonna get my ass kicked?
kicked
↓
45955497-7262-4300-936c-be7cfbf61e5e.gif
Ah! It's wrestling. It's all fake.
fakewrestling
↓
c59e1ea2-75e1-4e36-a7ff-7042902763ca.gif
It's relatively fake. What happens in the ring is really up to you.
fakehappensrelativelyring
↓
2b575252-b350-4a00-b9e3-fc1876287908.gif
I don't feel we're reading as eagles.
eaglesreading
↓
955f75fc-7806-4ebe-a316-3519fb5b3d56.gif
No, bro. We look like assholes.
assholes
↓
36455f55-4993-457e-99ba-467a67d3c742.gif
They didn't turn out the way that I had envisioned. I'm getting more of a chicken vibe.
chickenvibe
↓
208cd656-a9d1-4c36-9e8c-e5d32cc2fd15.gif
Whoo! Whoa!
whoawhoo
↓
a71a7cc5-45dc-4b6b-a91b-1a81bf1c4ead.gif
What in God's name is this about? All right.
godsgods-namename
↓
9f3d64b8-6844-4e5a-9139-481753d9db6d.gif
Don't start. We're birdmen. We're Birds of War.
birdsstart
↓
744e3bd2-1a44-4033-8a2a-e2c6b02fb10d.gif
Birdmen. What do you want?
↓
e76173b4-a700-4675-b643-9d525150e77a.gif
Yeah. Okay. I wanna sing "The Star-Spangled Banner" before the match.
bannermatchsingstar
↓
eb26c202-28e7-4e3f-984f-95adafd9480c.gif
Yeah. Good. Sing. We don't care. Do whatever you want.
caresing
↓
e74de5af-c5ee-4c97-a530-98aa9e834bf3.gif
Just get away. We're obviously in the middle of something.
middleobviously
↓
2e968fa5-b62c-4e00-85c3-e1cbb5dddb5f.gif
Okay? Yeah.
↓
eec3d847-7657-47f2-b5c2-97ad513fe72d.gif
Get out of here.
↓
3442ddae-89c8-4ea9-97c3-22f6896b1e16.gif
Wait a second, Charlie. Do that again. That?
charliesecondsecond-charlie
↓
5f8e8e6a-0a95-418f-884f-747c3bd8b10c.gif
That looked pretty cool. Maybe we can go with the chicken thing.
chickencoollooked
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673a9a0e-6db7-4e8a-8a84-43a3e90c3752.gif
The Chicken Boys. We're not changing the song.
boyschangingchickensong
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e06a62e9-900a-4252-8c4f-2190baf888c3.gif
We got a big problem with the Maniac. Big problem with the Maniac.
maniacproblem
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79486690-14f3-47cd-a8c8-07c18eeb2b1a.gif
What did he do? Did he kill somebody?
killkill-somebodysomebody
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3b0cc4e9-c69c-4d41-86fe-5a50713b1768.gif
Unpaid parking tickets. Unpaid parking tickets?
parkingparking-ticketstickets
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324256f5-82b3-4073-86f7-f008df9bd567.gif
- Maniac! - Oh, my boys. My boys.
boysmaniac
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7f5b4b77-b77b-4076-9d70-904c886d5e61.gif
Ohh! Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
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c47949e8-a97e-4fda-8dd9-1390977ad77b.gif
You know what? Da' Maniac loves you.
lovesmaniac
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9f6fec04-10d5-438f-be1c-f99b64a33370.gif
Even with your fea- Wait, wait! Even with your feathers!
feathers
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50e222e0-da38-4993-b37e-3b91e0c6fafd.gif
Aw! I love you!
love
↓
fe3e1a38-efb5-442c-992f-005a6163632d.gif
I love you too, man. I love you t...
love
↓
e9a3057d-2db5-487c-a7bf-334a7ccc2dae.gif
Poor guy. I don't really love him. I don't love him at all.
lovepoor
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cc8c5c2f-68c6-41f1-8fe0-1219e27bd787.gif
I'm terrified of him. Look, you guys need a wrestler now.
terrifiedwrestler
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f5e27ec3-2812-4268-aa50-e5b822381380.gif
We should take the Trash Man out of retirement. No, dude!
retirementtrash
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40326452-81ad-4ce6-bb80-3cc433496567.gif
That is not going to happen. But we do need a wrestler.
happenwrestler
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1800dff4-4bb8-4000-99c6-28214192ed78.gif
I know. Guys, I'm thinking maybe we should do it.
thinking
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f7099ce5-f19d-4d59-9b7d-c6567b6ed837.gif
Yeah. Right? We got the costumes. We got the passion.
costumespassion
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4d9414b6-5b41-4807-bc45-43e2b4caaae1.gif
We are just battling Cricket. It's just Cricket.
battlingcricket
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f52266f7-5c2c-4175-a98a-dcf8605a3291.gif
Pigeon Boys, let's do this!
boyspigeonpigeon-boys
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b0e7c504-5633-442d-ac9b-752c3e04e389.gif
No, we're not the Pigeon Boys. Birds of War.
birdsboyspigeonpigeon-boys
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98e329b7-1ef4-4a03-9dde-bedc3c6b7c1e.gif
Chicken Boys! No.
boyschicken
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b0383413-af9c-43c2-a2be-0a1df5da89fd.gif
Are we sticking with the eagles? Yes. We're Birds of War.
birdseaglessticking
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d8d2ec0f-4915-4702-a859-8c1c399356b2.gif
Let's go with birdmen. We don't even look like eagles.
eagles
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fd4cec4e-7cbb-4d32-962e-0ef77f5883c9.gif
People don't know what kind of bird we would be.
bird
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042c04d2-1bfe-44c9-94ca-073113017077.gif
And now the moment you've all been waiting for.
momentwaiting
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7097e459-1928-4eb5-977e-fe28932b01ce.gif
Introducing America's...
americasintroducing
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9df42c36-6288-47c5-98be-824a0d9056c0.gif
most hated terrorist...
hatedterrorist
↓
870929fd-4054-4ec6-af56-ef5306f3728a.gif
the Talibum!
↓
5cf96a4e-4be1-4c36-b328-f48c2348166c.gif
Whoo! A la la la la la la!
whoo
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7a8cb780-b11e-463d-aaf6-3bade062dc8e.gif
Boo to you.
↓
808d9758-f496-4969-be3c-48d531804173.gif
America sucks!
americasucks
↓
5684b53d-6379-43d4-9d1f-61aee56303d5.gif
Terrorists rule! A la la la la!
ruleterrorists
↓
65684de4-adcf-46e5-9978-f848ca3612c4.gif
Ladies and gentlemen,
gentlemenladies
↓
460083eb-629e-4bab-9315-064f594923d7.gif
get ready to take flight...
flightready
↓
3d31b774-e3cf-4a86-a5d4-a473ba7e059f.gif
with the Birds of War!
birds
↓
7768494d-64eb-4951-b4c9-83850813c006.gif
Whoo! What's up, America?
americawhoo
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8b9aaae4-e691-4040-a775-845904500cbd.gif
Hey, troops! Hey, guys!
troops
↓
51dbf56b-ea3e-4a53-be50-44a967fbd24e.gif
Drop a beat for us. You ready?
beatdropready
↓
9edc0487-04ac-4d34-b91c-9fbf3a73a88d.gif
Stomp, clap! Stomp, stomp, clap!
clapstompstomp-clap
↓
cb0f4cd4-eea4-4058-b842-cbf7ea4a9a96.gif
Stomp, clap! Stomp, stomp, clap! Come on, America!
americaclapstompstomp-clap
↓
9a7fdc04-0577-49e0-9b1b-8fc73869c2df.gif
Come on, y'all!
yall
↓
e5dbce3d-651a-4216-af6b-aa8672971349.gif
# Ah-ah-ah-ah The eagle's born out of thunder #
borneaglesthunder
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7815046a-d300-404e-bc3c-2d7b6ea1c643.gif
# Ah-ah-ah-ah He flies through the night #
fliesnight
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4d0a8fb3-de7e-4679-8958-8bff4106285e.gif
# Ah-ah-ah-ah Don't you mess with his eggs now #
eggsmess
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382f52a3-1720-43b7-bb3a-c485588de500.gif
# Ah-ah-ah-ah Or you'll see us fight #
fight
↓
ed4f913c-a797-400a-9c44-7afd12914bff.gif
# Ah-ah-ah-ah Yes, we have feathers #
feathers
↓
194287fe-a84b-45a1-b308-f8441d422c35.gif
# Ah-ah-ah-ah But the muscles of men #
muscles
↓
39ecc59e-744f-40ac-874a-aa691fb537c8.gif
# Ah-ah-ah-ah 'Cause we're Birds of War now #
birds
↓
f72a1333-aefd-4a7c-b88b-3823341cee5f.gif
# Ah-ah-ah-ah But we're also men #
↓
9ca2260f-b303-4be9-bebf-b372ee67bccb.gif
# Birds of War ##
birds
↓
2a840484-88f3-4ae0-8d57-fd2051996a08.gif
They're not responding to the pageantry at all.
pageantryresponding
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10552ddb-6c01-4cb9-8009-ead66ebb355b.gif
The whole second verse is completely ridiculous.
completelycompletely-ridiculousridiculoussecondversewhole
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66bd6399-ad7a-4135-8c40-4470b51f0fd6.gif
The second verse is necessary to clarify what we are.
clarifynecessarysecondverse
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f5393908-83e2-47bf-afdf-c68379c8ef81.gif
We're miked. We're miked. We're not...
↓
196cc6bc-0dcc-48a6-982c-cbccbba7f57d.gif
Our microphones are on. Are they hearing this?
hearing
↓
e366e929-a5d3-4873-b198-c81d7e1c727f.gif
- Do the routine. - Go.
routine
↓
68da6d82-b1c1-4878-b698-9ac19540e8fa.gif
Duck-and-roll routine! Duck-and-roll routine!
duckrollroutine
↓
764f801a-c615-4bb0-972e-5880c30be0ea.gif
Whoo!
whoo
↓
27c1c64e-fd6d-4762-a819-4b2cbaf0ab93.gif
No, no. Cut it. Cut it. Not that one. I'm not doing that one.
↓
8c2a3d56-60dd-4fa5-be22-5a324b9ddc22.gif
Put the tape over it. The other song. Okay.
songtape
↓
d07c64c6-03fd-412c-a11d-8801e25bbc2a.gif
- ## - This one goes out to a very special soldier...
soldierspecial
↓
8d89430d-95d5-458c-8c9a-d18865b16c0a.gif
a Soldier of Fortune.
fortunesoldier
↓
ce3a9ecf-0ed5-4a05-80c5-86fa2419ee39.gif
I'm your real Desert Rose.
desertdesert-roserealrose
↓
44078556-f03b-48b9-b604-c047e6be6cf5.gif
That strange woman you've been hanging out with, she's an impostor.
hangingstrangewoman
↓
a1aa1d4f-ec2b-4a69-89ea-655a8ed0b073.gif
# Baby- # Ahh!
baby
↓
4d126698-d356-468b-bc3d-e001806665f4.gif
- Ohh! - Yeah, bitch!
bitch
↓
cf5ed7b6-bfe9-4dab-a06a-31ef93a849f6.gif
- Ohh! - She is a slut.
slut
↓
0395d3fd-8ff0-4720-9491-0e858890e1c8.gif
I think you broke my nose.
brokenose
↓
e290d603-a4ef-42e6-af13-7a994814cb18.gif
- Yeah, Talibum! A la la la la la la! -
↓
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- So, what do we do? - I think it's starting.
starting
↓
21a33345-f2de-41c1-93dc-c8ffcae0abb3.gif
Yeah, all right. Go ahead.
aheadgo-ahead
↓
72902d2d-d6cd-4ba0-8bcd-4f131fb2246e.gif
Jump in the ring and fight Cricket.
cricketfightjumpring
↓
817d2258-d001-4128-b6cf-cc99651b27cf.gif
Wooo!
↓
ba2e7e3b-0020-440b-9e49-0289dbb9f618.gif
I'm gonna get a little bit rough with you.
rough
↓
4f491d9c-9f39-4f1b-9d81-b67ab683f2c4.gif
Ahh! Oh, what is that, sand?
sand
↓
c497ffd4-5434-4080-a8ec-425788096068.gif
Oh, Jesus Christ!
christjesusjesus-christ
↓
3743f31d-f7f0-4016-bb32-5eb002407922.gif
Ohh! Ahh!
↓
e80d3808-aa3e-4afd-8ce1-91b55339b546.gif
- Come on, ref. Is that even legal? - I didn't see nothin'.
legalnothin
↓
2f0db934-00b2-4bae-8085-4a6b1f38293a.gif
Cricket's gone crazy, man.
crazycricketsgone
↓
0a707e69-4069-4735-a4eb-56ab693c39cb.gif
We can't let the Talibum win. All right, I got him.
↓
50c6d825-3796-4342-a319-5ff5dd3c75d7.gif
Cricket, you son of a bitch. You think you're so tough, huh? Ahh!
bitchcrickettough
↓
3b3a389f-0b18-47ca-9cb2-886217da886c.gif
Stop throwing sand! Stop!
sandthrowing
↓
3b2c7df4-8b17-4143-b0ad-fd82b4890e95.gif
Come on, bitch. You want some?
bitch
↓
46cb2ece-d6c1-4a5e-8917-b1fef830f070.gif
If I come in there, you're just gonna throw sand in my eyes,
eyessandthrow
↓
c698f497-f2e9-419b-8411-c592471ff0fa.gif
so I'm gonna run away.
↓
0fa79d53-215a-4929-80be-4a38813e674c.gif
Ohh! A la la! America sucks!
americasucks
↓
7675ea38-1184-4c90-bb30-e11f27dee8b4.gif
Terrorists rule! Yeah!
ruleterrorists
↓
76fa2d1e-7e23-4d6d-b57d-060502addee8.gif
Oh!
↓
c20d27db-3a1f-4f76-b7a7-931d9da6e073.gif
- He got me. - The Trash Man.
trash
↓
76075ca4-1757-4523-a2c3-56f6c1b6836d.gif
He got me with the can. Stop. Stop.
↓
399d3a3e-d987-4c07-a91a-3dea02acd736.gif
Ah, shit. Did I get you, Cricket?
cricket
↓
a7cd1e3f-4aa2-40c9-8040-5ac7ee69aff1.gif
Ohh!
↓
b3e9e6cc-431c-4207-8c37-66ca3d96cc64.gif
Must've had an edge.
edgemustve
↓
b1ae972d-cf29-4b77-a7a7-6572fcce96f4.gif
Oh.
↓
40864ece-7380-45b9-bf2e-01adb3772528.gif
Something in my eye. Ah! No.
↓
f56f50f8-f084-4300-9215-ae67c575fc45.gif
Oh, God.
↓
3e114abc-4bf9-494e-ba58-cda5a03594a3.gif
# I am a real American #
americanrealreal-american
↓
b182d298-add2-4416-a889-3fd147ec428b.gif
# Fight for the rights of every man #
fightrights
↓
f36ef929-d91a-493a-bd0f-7a5f81111dad.gif
# I am a real American #
americanrealreal-american
↓
86617b62-ae80-4dd7-a427-94be0c64e8fc.gif
I knew this shit wasn't fake.
fake
↓
1b3419a6-f96f-4feb-9d20-5316003a75f3.gif
# Fight for your life #
fightlife
↓
5adec96a-db19-426a-ac40-4b24f6516697.gif
# I am a real American #
americanrealreal-american
↓
264e6588-0cda-4b2e-a736-819534233ccf.gif
# Fight for the rights of every man # # American #
americanfightrights
↓
36c1516d-b36f-4cdb-9231-34c414e03fee.gif
# I am a real American # # Oh, yeah #
americanrealreal-american
↓
141d94ad-399b-40c1-a73d-197f387e1c4b.gif
# Fight for what's right Fight for your life #
fightlife
↓
800a5edb-0ff2-4183-9ee5-b8aeb45e6632.gif
# If you hurt my friends #
friendshurt
↓
3a2c69e3-e725-4647-b105-37774779a8bf.gif
# Then you hurt my pride ##
hurtpride
↓
0135860a-579f-437d-a763-eac2a7daa525.gif
ENGLISH - US - PSDH
englishpsdh