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Home » It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia » S06E11 — The Gang Gets Stranded in the Woods

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Season 6, Episode 11 — The Gang Gets Stranded in the Woods

TMDB episode metadata

Show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Episode title: The Gang Gets Stranded in the Woods

Air date: December 02, 2010

Director: Matt Shakman

Top billed cast: Charlie Day, Glenn Howerton, Rob Mac, Kaitlin Olson, Danny DeVito

En route to Atlantic City for a charity event, Mac, Frank and Dee get lost. Meanwhile, Dennis and Charlie hitch a ride to town.

Source: TMDB

↓

Frank, I'd like to thank you for giving me

frank giving

↓

- the opportunity of a lifetime. - Whatever.

lifetime opportunity

↓

I hope they have some cool, exotic creatures

cool creatures exotic hope

↓

for us to fiddle around with and play with.

fiddle

↓

Dennis, we're going to an animal rights event.

animal animal-rights dennis event rights

↓

There's gonna be all sorts of exotic creatures there.

creatures exotic sorts

↓

- You think so? - Oh.

↓

Better have some cool stuff at this thing.

cool cool-stuff stuff

↓

I mean, the money I laid out for this charity, they could have built a zoo.

built charity laid money

↓

Yeah. Actually, guys, zoos are animal prisons.

animal prisons

↓

You see, I've been boning up on my animal rights literature

animal animal-rights literature rights

↓

so I can have some talking points with Chase.

chase points

↓

He's a big animal rights lover, and he's gonna be there.

animal animal-rights lover rights

↓

Security is not gonna let you go

security

↓

- anywhere near Chase Utley, bro. - I doubt it.

chase chase-utley doubt near utley

↓

Those creepy letters you've been writing him?

creepy letters writing

↓

You've gotta be on a list somewhere.

list

↓

What are you giving me shit for, okay?

giving

↓

Dee's the one going after Ryan Howard all of a sudden.

dees howard ryan sudden

↓

Well, so what? Why is that weird? That makes perfect sense.

makes perfect sense weird

↓

I'm a hot, single lady. He's a hot, single man.

lady single

↓

Hot? Dee, you're pregnant as shit.

pregnant

↓

- Frank, this shortcut sucks. - It ain't a shortcut.

aint frank shortcut sucks

↓

Well, why in the hell are we in the woods?

woods

↓

Get on the A.C. Expressway.

↓

- It goes straight to Atlantic City. - I'm avoiding tolls.

atlantic atlantic-city avoiding city straight tolls

↓

Okay, hold on a second. You're willing to shell out

second shell willing

↓

tons of money for a charity,

charity money tons

↓

and you can't spare a couple bucks for a toll road?

bucks couple road spare toll

↓

What do you want me to do, give all my money to some toll jockey?

jockey money toll

↓

- Yeah! - Just for riding on a street?

riding street

↓

- Squirrel! - What?

squirrel

↓

Oh, thank God. That was close.

close

↓

Why did you do that, Mac? Goddamn it!

goddamn goddamn-it

↓

You almost ran over that squirrel, Frank.

frank squirrel

↓

So you should've let me mash it. It's just a dumb-ass squirrel.

dumb mash shouldve squirrel

↓

Hey, do not say stupid shit like that tonight at the animal rights event.

animal animal-rights event rights stupid tonight

↓

But I can't wait to make my speech.

speech

↓

I'm gonna get up there and lace into these liberal nut jobs.

jobs lace liberal

↓

What? I thought you loved animals now.

animals loved

↓

No. I only donated all this money so I could make a mockery of their cause.

donated mockery money

↓

Animals should be food, rugs and trophies.

animals food rugs trophies

↓

Why do you think I'm wearing a leather suit?

leather suit wearing

↓

Are you? Is that leather?

leather

↓

- You bet your ass it's leather. - Huh.

leather

↓

I just assumed it was plastic.

assumed plastic

↓

- Who wears a plastic suit? - I don't know, Frank.

frank plastic suit wears

↓

But I don't question the things you do anymore.

anymore question

↓

Listen, I'm gonna call us a tow truck

truck

↓

- and get us out of here. - Yeah.

↓

I'm not getting any bars though. You getting any bars, Frank?

bars frank

↓

I got nothin'. What gives?

gives nothin

↓

What gives is that we're in the middle

gives middle

↓

of goddamn nowhere.

goddamn

↓

What happened? Are we in A.C.?

happened

↓

No, we're not in A.C. because Mac wrecked the car,

wrecked

↓

- and now we're stranded somewhere. - Oh, man!

stranded

↓

"Come to Atlantic City," you said.

atlantic atlantic-city city

↓

"Let us tie you up and put a sack on your head so you don't freak out.

freak head sack

↓

That'll be a good adventure," you said.

adventure thatll

↓

Well, I'm freaking out a little bit.

freaking

↓

Relax. Relax, Charlie. This is gonna be a great adventure.

adventure charlie relax relax-relax

↓

This is exciting. This is the unknown. This is all part of it, man.

exciting part unknown

↓

Well, it ain't a great adventure to me.

adventure aint

↓

Riding on a private jet, sipping champagne,

champagne private riding sipping

↓

that's an adventure.

adventure

↓

Then why didn't you fly us in a private jet to A.C.?

private

↓

It's only 80 miles. You know how quick that trip would be?

miles quick trip

↓

It'd be a total waste of money.

money total waste

↓

This is why I don't leave Philly, all right.

philly

↓

You leave Philly, and bad shit happens.

happens philly

↓

I mean, trees? Everywhere trees? What the hell is this place?

place trees

↓

- All right. I'm hitching a ride back home. - Calm down, Char…

calm char home ride

↓

Let's all walk, and we'll find some help, okay?

walk

↓

I'm not walking, 'cause I got a baby on board, my feet hurt.

baby board feet feet-hurt hurt walking

↓

I'm not going anywhere 'cause this suit is, like, chafing me up like crazy.

chafing crazy suit

↓

Oh, Jesus. All right. Mac and I and Charlie

charlie jesus

↓

will go find some help. Okay?

↓

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh! Except I'm not gonna go.

except

↓

I'm gonna hang back and oil up my glove.

glove hang

↓

Your glo… What is your endgame in this?

↓

I'm gonna have a catch with Chase Utley.

catch chase chase-utley utley

↓

You… we got… Chase Utley is not gonna have a catch with you.

catch chase chase-utley utley

↓

- Come on. Come on. - Don't you say that, Charlie!

charlie

↓

- Don't you say that! - Listen. We're gonna find help.

↓

- Hurry. - Hurry up, guys. Hurry up.

hurry

↓

'Cause I got to get to Chase.

chase

↓

Does the air taste weird out here, or is it just me?

taste weird

↓

No. It's just you.

↓

Listen, I know you have a lot of anxiety going on right now.

anxiety

↓

But you gotta understand, we're both in uncharted waters here.

waters

↓

Wouldn't you say?

↓

But listen, you would consider me a pretty methodical person,

consider person

↓

- wouldn't you? - Oh, yeah, like a serial killer.

killer serial serial-killer

↓

Serial killer. I like that. I like that.

killer serial serial-killer

↓

It's a little bit of an exaggeration, but I see your point.

point

↓

- Yeah. - And I like it. I take it as a compliment.

compliment

↓

Well, listen, sometimes even I can't control everything.

control sometimes

↓

So when a new experience presents itself to me,

experience presents

↓

- Say yes, huh? - Yeah. Hey, let me show you something.

↓

Let me show you something. Look.

↓

Huh. You wearing makeup?

makeup wearing wearing-makeup

↓

Well, I'm always wearing a little bit of foundation.

foundation wearing

↓

Oh, shit! You got a lesion, dude.

↓

No, it's not… That's not a lesion. It's a hickey.

hickey

↓

You never seen a hickey?

hickey seen

↓

No, I have. Eew! Weird!

weird

↓

I thought women our age didn't give hickeys anymore.

anymore women

↓

Oh, no, they don't. Young ladies do though.

ladies young young-ladies

↓

And I met an extremely young lady the other day,

extremely lady young young-lady

↓

- and she gave me this hickey. - Weird!

hickey weird

↓

No, she was legal. She was totally legal.

legal

↓

I always check their licenses. That's not the point.

check point

↓

The point is, how did I meet this young woman?

meet point woman young young-woman

↓

Well, I got caught unexpectedly in a rainstorm one day,

caught

↓

so I retreated into a local theater.

local theater

↓

There I caught a matinee.

caught

↓

And during this matinee, I saw this young woman.

woman young young-woman

↓

I introduced myself.

introduced

↓

And we both got caught up in the moment,

caught moment

↓

we said yes to the new experience,

experience

↓

and that's how I wound up with this wonderful

wound

↓

- and very sexual hickey. - Huh.

hickey sexual

↓

You see where I… You see what I'm saying

↓

- about adventure, Charlie? - Yeah, you always say yes to everything.

adventure charlie

↓

Well, no, I don't always say yes.

↓

That's absurd. I'd be a dead man, wouldn't I, if I said yes to everything.

absurd dead

↓

Oh, shit, dude. Look at that truck right there.

truck

↓

- Oh, yeah. - Do you think there's someone in there?

↓

Well…

↓

what do we say in this scenario, Charlie?

charlie scenario

↓

We say yes.

↓

We say yes.

↓

Hiya. Sorry to wake you up there. Sorry.

hiya wake

↓

What do you want?

↓

Our car broke down a little ways back.

broke ways

↓

but I'm about to hit the road myself.

road

↓

- You can always hitch a ride with me. - Oh. Where you headed?

headed hitch ride

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Atlantic City.

atlantic atlantic-city city

↓

You got any munchies in the car? I'm grumbling.

grumbling munchies

↓

No, Frank, we don't have anything in the car…

frank

↓

because we were starving ourselves for the casino buffet.

buffet casino starving

↓

It was only supposed to be a 45-minute drive.

drive minute supposed

↓

I gotta eat pretty soon. I'm starting to get woozy.

starting woozy

↓

Yeah, I'm starting to get woozy too.

starting woozy

↓

I've been starving myself for a few days for Chase.

chase days starving

↓

What?

↓

I wanted to create that sort of gaunt,

create wanted

↓

angular look with my cheekbones to impress him.

impress

↓

You know, give myself a more athletic look.

athletic

↓

But I'm starving.

starving

↓

All right, let's jump into the forest and we'll find some food there.

food forest jump

↓

Holy shit balls! It's a rabbit!

balls holy rabbit

↓

Whoa, whoa! Frank, no! We are not killing any animals, okay?

animals frank killing whoa whoa-frank whoa-whoa

↓

Okay, fine. Dee, come with me.

↓

Where are you, wabbit?

↓

I'm gonna get you, wabbit.

↓

Oh.

↓

There you are.

↓

What the hell?

↓

Shit! How'd you do that?

howd

↓

Why are you staring at me?

staring

↓

Why are you giving me that look?

giving

↓

Whoa.

whoa

↓

We're having a moment here, aren't we?

having moment

↓

You boys are, uh, awfully dressed up.

awfully boys dressed

↓

Sure, yeah, well, we're on our way to Atlantic City for a charity event.

atlantic atlantic-city charity charity-event city event

↓

You kind of threw me with those outfits.

outfits threw

↓

Don't usually find lot lizards out in the wild.

lizards usually wild

↓

A lot lizard would be a, uh…

lizard

↓

A lizard.

lizard

↓

You know. Truck stop whores. I mean…

truck whores

↓

- Oh! - No offense.

offense

↓

No, man, none taken, because we're not whores.

taken whores

↓

- No, no, we're not prostitutes. - Definitely not a lizard.

lizard prostitutes

↓

- Hey, hey. Shh. - Hey.

↓

Your secret's safe with me. Don't worry too. I'm not a cop.

safe secrets worry

↓

- We're not… - And I'm not gonna judge you neither.

judge

↓

- I'm not surprised. - Oh, I appreciate that. I appreciate that.

appreciate surprised

↓

- But again, not prostitutes. - Not lizards though.

lizards prostitutes

↓

Save your seduction for someone else.

save seduction

↓

I do not tangle with lizards no more.

lizards

↓

No.

↓

Back in the day, sure, I would've indulged. Hell…

wouldve

↓

I would've let you make me, uh, make me into a mailbox.

mailbox wouldve

↓

I got a wife now.

wife

↓

So I will not suck you, and I will not be sucked on by you.

suck sucked

↓

Okay? That's it.

↓

That's a 10-4.

↓

Yeah, we read you loud and clear.

clear loud read

↓

And just to reiterate, we don't suck on people.

reiterate suck

↓

- We own a bar. - You run a bar?

↓

- Oh, I'm sure you do. - Yeah.

↓

How far are we from Atlantic City? Is it a long ride, or…

atlantic atlantic-city city ride

↓

We're a long way from Atlantic City, a long way.

atlantic atlantic-city city

↓

- Still got a ways, huh? - Yeah.

ways

↓

It's grass, Mac. You're eating grass.

eating grass

↓

Look, Charlie is a survivor. All right?

charlie survivor

↓

Eew. What is that?

↓

That's a dead crow.

crow dead

↓

Well, I'm definitely not eating that.

eating

↓

Wait, wait, whoa. Why not?

whoa

↓

Because it is a disgusting dead bird, that's why.

bird dead disgusting

↓

You eat dead chickens and dead turkeys all the time.

chickens dead turkeys

↓

- That's so hypocritical. - Okay, that's not hypocritical.

↓

People eat chickens and turkeys.

chickens turkeys

↓

- Nobody eats a crow. It's a trash bird. - You know what I do think?

bird crow eats nobody trash

↓

I think we're gonna give this crow a proper burial.

burial crow proper

↓

Well, I'm not gonna do that. But what I will do is use it as bait. Ooh!

bait

↓

What if we hide in the bushes

bushes hide

↓

to come along and grab it,

along grab

↓

- I'm gonna go to the car… - I'm not doing that. No!

↓

then we can pick up this trash bird with it, and we'll do my plan.

bird pick plan trash

↓

- I'm not helping you. I'm not helping you. - That's all right. I'll do it myself.

helping

↓

- I'll eat alone. - I'm gonna find Frank.

alone frank

↓

- I'm gonna get him on my team, okay? - Good.

team

↓

Frank?

frank

↓

Hey, Frank, where are you, bro?

frank

↓

- Oh, there you are. - Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.

↓

We've been staring at each other for 10 minutes.

minutes staring

↓

I… He's not afraid of me.

afraid

↓

He's looking at me like he knows me.

knows looking

↓

He's looking at me like he can see right through my soul.

looking soul

↓

He probably can, dude.

↓

That is the connection between man and beast.

beast connection

↓

Animals can see souls. That is a fact of nature.

animals fact nature souls

↓

No!

↓

- Deandra, what the hell are you doing? - It's cool, you guys, I got it.

cool deandra

↓

I got it. We can eat.

↓

We can't eat the rabbit. He's got my soul.

rabbit soul

↓

- What are you talking about? - They had a moment, Dee.

moment

↓

- They shared a connection. - I know it's cute, you guys,

connection cute shared

↓

but, come on, this isn't about us anymore.

anymore

↓

I got to feed the baby. Mac, grab it by the head

baby feed grab head

↓

- and wring its neck off. - I would rather grab your head

grab head neck wring

↓

and wring your neck for wanting to kill this rabbit, all right?

kill neck rabbit wanting wring

↓

You want to eat it so bad, you kill it.

kill

↓

Fine.

↓

I will kill it. I'll kill it, and I'll eat it myself.

kill

↓

- I'm gonna kill the shit out of it. - Don't.

kill

↓

Okay. This is us right here.

↓

Atlantic City.

atlantic atlantic-city city

↓

Great. Yeah, thanks… No.

thanks

↓

We were hoping to be dropped off at a casino though.

casino dropped hoping

↓

- This is just a motel. - I know.

motel

↓

And I thought we would slip into a room…

room slip

↓

and you…could check my oil.

check

↓

Oh. No.

↓

Um, what happened, man?

happened

↓

- I don't know. - No, I'm sorry. I… No.

↓

Shoot, hell, maybe I knew I wanted it when I gave you the ride.

ride shoot wanted

↓

- No, no, no, no. You're better, Byron. - Yeah!

↓

- Remember you changed? - Byron, you've changed.

changed remember

↓

You don't want this kind of thing anymore.

anymore

↓

- No, I do want this kind of thing. - No, you don't.

↓

You would not suck me and you would not, um,

suck

↓

- be sucked by me. - Be sucked by us!

sucked

↓

- I take that back. I don't mean that. - You can't take that back!

↓

- No take backs! - I didn't mean any of those things.

backs

↓

Look, think about your wife. Remember, you said you love your wife.

love remember wife

↓

I do, I do, I do. I do, but… Good.

↓

I got cash in my pocket, I got desire in my heart,

cash desire heart pocket

↓

and I'm a-frothin' and a-foamin', and I was thinking… Hey. Hey.

thinking

↓

I got an idea.

idea

↓

What do you say…

↓

we slip into a room and you two split me open

open room slip split

↓

- like a coconut? - Oh.

coconut

↓

Dennis, what do we say in this situation?

dennis situation

↓

We say no! We're gonna say no in this situation.

situation

↓

- Why? No! Why? - Uh, it's just a…

↓

- Oh, my God, dude! - Look at that!

↓

Should've locked my damn door. Should've locked the door.

door locked shouldve

↓

Well, that was definitely an adventure, huh?

adventure

↓

Yeah, well, sometimes the adventures aren't always good ones.

adventures ones sometimes

↓

Yeah, but I said yes to the new experience. Right?

experience

↓

I'm out of Philly, I'm alive, and I'm not afraid of truckers anymore.

afraid alive anymore philly

↓

Yeah. Well, if anything, you should be more afraid of truckers now,

afraid

↓

but I do see your point.

point

↓

Hey, listen, I'm gonna try and get in touch with the guys, okay?

touch

↓

Aw, shit.

↓

Dude, I left my jacket in the truck.

jacket left truck

↓

I had everything in that jacket. It had all my money.

jacket money

↓

It had my phone. Do you have any money?

money phone

↓

Uh, yeah, it's all right there.

↓

- I put it all on black. - What?

black

↓

- No, no, no, no, no! - Black wins!

black wins

↓

- Baby! - Oh, whew! God!

baby whew

↓

- But that was lucky. That was lucky. - Yeah, I know.

lucky

↓

But you know what, dude? You were right.

↓

I said yes to this little adventure, and I won.

adventure

↓

- All right. - Would you like to bet again, sir?

↓

- Yes, I would. - No. No.

↓

- Let it ride, please. - What are you doing?

ride

↓

Dude, I am gonna say yes to everything!

↓

We can't say yes to everything.

↓

- That is all of our money, dude. - No, it's all my money.

money

↓

You lost yours when you said no

lost

↓

- to the trucker. - What?

trucker

↓

Did you want to say yes to the trucker? Did you want to go

trucker

↓

- bang the trucker in that motel? - I don't know.

bang motel trucker

↓

We say yes to the trucker, we go to the motel room,

motel room trucker

↓

he passes out and dies, we walk away with a free 18-wheeler.

dies free passes walk wheeler

↓

Dude, we are gonna lose all of our money.

lose money

↓

- Black wins again! - Oh, baby! Whoo!

baby black whoo wins

↓

Yes! Yes, yes!

↓

Let it ride, please. Let it ride.

ride

↓

- Keep it coming. - Okay, okay, yeah, let it ride.

coming ride

↓

I want to bash you, bunny.

bash bunny

↓

I want to give you one good bash and eat your sweet, delicious meat.

bash delicious meat sweet

↓

You can't kill the rabbit, Deandra. It's got my soul.

deandra kill rabbit soul

↓

It's got the man's soul, Dee.

mans soul

↓

Maybe I'll suffocate you. I'll suffocate your rabbit face.

face rabbit suffocate

↓

Then I'll just suck all the life out of it and then twist your neck and…

life neck suck twist

↓

Look, can we do this thing, for crying out loud?

crying loud

↓

- Yes, absolutely. - This is absolutely ridiculous,

absolutely ridiculous

↓

holding a funeral for a crow.

crow funeral holding

↓

Yes, that's right, we are. We are honoring its life.

life

↓

- I want to say a couple words. - Yes, please.

couple words

↓

Uh, I've never been good to animals, wearing a leather suit and all.

animals leather suit wearing

↓

And, uh, also, I kicked a dog in a subway once.

kicked subway

↓

It was a real jerk move. I'm really sorry I did it,

jerk real

↓

and I like animals now.

animals

↓

That was beautiful, Frank.

frank

↓

Okay, where the hell are Charlie and Dennis?

charlie dennis

↓

I feel like they're not coming back for us.

coming

↓

They're coming back, okay?

coming

↓

Guys, let's just do the right thing.

↓

Good night, sweet prince.

night prince sweet

↓

Oh, God, you… You've gotta be kidding me. Come on.

kidding

↓

- Ave Maria - FRANK: Ave Maria

frank maria

↓

Are you kidding me?

kidding

↓

I mean, I never thought I would hold $15,000.

↓

That's amazing, bro. Listen, I thought I was teaching you today.

amazing teaching today

↓

Let me tell you something, my friend. You were teaching me.

friend teaching

↓

- I know. Look at all this amazing food. - Oh, I'm starving.

amazing food starving

↓

I mean, they've got stuff I've never even seen before.

seen stuff

↓

- Yeah. - What is that?

↓

Hi there. You two are with the Reynolds party, yes?

party reynolds

↓

Yeah. Yes.

↓

- Is one of you Frank? - Oh, actually, uh…

frank

↓

Yes.

↓

Hi, Mr. Reynolds. I'm Deborah. We spoke on the phone.

deborah phone reynolds spoke

↓

Yes. Yes!

↓

Well, now, I know you'd like to say a few words.

words

↓

Is it all right if we have you up to speak now?

speak

↓

- Uh… - Yes, it is.

↓

- Great. Well, come on. - Yes! Yes, yes, yes.

↓

Mr. Reynolds here is one of our largest new donors.

donors largest reynolds

↓

Well, it's donors like him that makes our work for animals possible.

animals donors makes possible

↓

Thank you. Thank you. I am Frank Reynolds.

frank frank-reynolds reynolds

↓

- Yes, yes, yes. - Yes, yes.

↓

"Yes." That's the word I want to talk about.

word

↓

- But first, let's talk about animals. - Yes.

animals

↓

If animals have taught me anything,

animals taught

↓

it's that you can easily die, and very quickly,

easily quickly

↓

under a bus and on the side of the road.

road side

↓

- Yes. - Okay?

↓

So you have to live in the now. Live in the now!

live

↓

I'm gonna live in the now right now.

live

↓

I'm gonna donate another $5,000 to this charity right now.

another charity donate

↓

Oh! Oh! That's a… oh, you… That's too generous.

generous

↓

- This is for the rats! - Take it easy.

easy rats

↓

- All right. Oh! - Okay.

↓

- For the rats, people. - Okay. Yeah.

rats

↓

- Yeah. - And I'm done.

↓

- Good, good. - Uh, Mr. Reynolds,

reynolds

↓

there's one more thing. Per your request,

request

↓

we were able to arrange a surprise night for your friend

able arrange friend night surprise

↓

with two true all-stars of our organization,

organization stars

↓

Chase Utley and Ryan Howard of the Philadelphia Phillies.

chase chase-utley howard philadelphia phillies ryan utley

↓

- Hi. - Mac, right?

↓

Uh, yes.

↓

I hear you're my number one fan.

number

↓

Yes, I am. Hi. Hi.

↓

What's up, brother? All right.

brother

↓

- Oh, my goodness. - Okay. All right, let's get crazy.

crazy goodness

↓

- Let's get crazy. - Let's get nuts, you guys.

crazy nuts

↓

I had a friend was a big baseball player

baseball friend player

↓

Back in high school

school

↓

We went back inside, sat down

↓

Had a few drinks…

drinks

↓

- And you got a, uh… - Please don't touch me.

touch

↓

Yeah, they'll pass you by Glory days

days glory glory-days pass

↓

I'm gonna need some more of that.

↓

In the wink of a young girl's eye

girls wink young

↓

Glory days

days glory glory-days

↓

Glory days

days glory glory-days

↓

- I got it. - Let's get a drink.

drink

↓

- No Mets fans! - Get out of here.

fans

↓

No Mets fans!

fans

↓

What are you thinking, coming in here, man?

coming thinking

↓

- Is it cool? - It's cool.

cool

↓

All right.

↓

Glory days

days glory glory-days

↓

All right

↓

Ooh, yeah

↓

Well, all right…

↓

Yeah!

↓

Ooh, yeah…

↓

All right…

↓

Guys, guys, calm down. You're gonna hurt each other.

calm hurt

↓

- Huh? - No, we're good, man.

↓

- We're just having fun. - I just saw you bite that dude.

bite fun having

↓

Yeah, it was a… He took a bite. It was a fair bite.

bite fair

↓

Yeah, he knew I could bite him a little bit.

bite

↓

Man, come here. Come here and wrestle with us, dude.

wrestle

↓

You guys are wasted, man. Let's wrestle.

wasted wrestle

↓

Yeah, you're wasted.

wasted

↓

- No, we're not. - You're not wasted?

wasted

↓

No, no, we're completely sober.

completely sober

↓

- But you guys drank a lot though. - Yeah.

drank

↓

You guys drank more than anybody I've ever seen.

anybody drank seen

↓

- Oh, really, dude? - Whoo!

whoo

↓

- Good work, Charlie. Yeah! - That's what we do.

charlie

↓

That's kinda what we do, man. We just drink.

drink kinda

↓

Well, you know, it's been great, fellas, but we're gonna take off now.

fellas

↓

- Oh! - Really? You guys gonna go?

↓

Yeah, you guys… You guys try not to hurt anybody tonight, okay?

anybody hurt tonight

↓

- No, no, no, we're good, dude. - Nah, dude, nah. No, we're…

↓

- Get off me though, for real. - Okay.

real

↓

- You guys take care, okay? - All right!

care

↓

Whoo! Boy, that was a…

whoo

↓

- …hell of a night, man. - Hell of a night, man.

night

↓

Hey, how much money do we have left?

left money

↓

10,000 bucks.

bucks

↓

I got an idea how we can spend that shit.

idea spend

↓

Champagne! Champagne! Champagne!

champagne

↓

- Champagne! - Here we go, gentlemen.

champagne gentlemen

↓

- Hey! Thank you, Penelope. - There it is! Champagne!

champagne

↓

- Oh, it's tearing me up inside. - What?

tearing

↓

What? What's going on, Frank?

frank

↓

What are you doing?

↓

I ate the crow.

crow

↓

- What… What'd he say? - What?

whatd

↓

I ate the crow.

crow

↓

- Why? - Yeah. I dug it up last night.

night

↓

I thought it would taste like chicken, but I was wrong.

chicken taste

↓

- Oh, my… - I think I got to go to a hospital.

hospital

↓

All right. All right, look.

↓

They're clearly not coming back for us, okay?

coming

↓

I think we gotta start walking.

start walking

↓

- Goddamn. - Yeah.

goddamn

↓

Oh, man.

↓

Seriously, I'm gonna be sad when this is all over.

↓

Yeah, well, all good adventures must come to an end at some point.

adventures must point

↓

All good things are ending.

ending

↓

I shouldn't still be drinking.

drinking

↓

- Hey. - Mm-hmm?

↓

I just thought of one last thing that would be awesome.

awesome

↓

Give me your phone.

phone

↓

Oh…

↓

Oh, this is gonna be…

↓

This is gonna be awesome, dude.

awesome

↓

This is gonna be great.

↓

Look at… Yeah!

↓

I know, it feels like we're walking a lot here, bunny.

bunny feels walking

↓

But I'll tell you what, as soon as we get back to the bar,

↓

you can have as many carrots as your little heart desires.

carrots desires heart

↓

Dee, first you wanted to kill it,

kill wanted

↓

and now you're bringing it back to the bar?

bringing

↓

Yeah. I named him Peter Peter Nickel-Eater.

eater named nickel peter

↓

'Cause last night in the car he tried to eat a nickel.

nickel night tried

↓

It was the cutest thing I've ever seen.

cutest seen

↓

I say you bash its brains in right now.

bash brains

↓

I'm done liking animals. This crow is eating me alive!

alive animals crow eating liking

↓

Frank, you are sick…

frank sick

↓

because you ate rancid, maggot-filled meat, not because of animals.

animals filled maggot meat rancid

↓

And, Dee, you've got to set that rabbit free.

free rabbit

↓

- Really? - Yes!

↓

It needs to live in the wild,

live needs wild

↓

where it can be free and safe

free safe

↓

in the loving embrace of Mother Nature, okay?

embrace loving mother mother-nature nature

↓

Trust me, Peter Nickels-Eater is gonna be much happier.

eater happier nickels peter trust

↓

Yeah, all right. You're right.

↓

Okay, buddy, I love you, but go back to your family now.

buddy family love

↓

- Go on. - Okay. See? He's happier already.

happier

↓

He's gonna go back to his mother and father,

father mother

↓

and he's gonna have a wonderful life.

life

↓

Goddamn it.

goddamn goddamn-it

↓

- Goddamn it! - Okay, nature is bullshit.

bullshit goddamn goddamn-it nature

↓

- I'm done with this. - I told you animals suck.

animals suck

↓

Okay. Wait. Was that a text?

text

↓

- You getting reception? - Yeah, I guess I'm getting reception.

reception

↓

I just got a text.

text

↓

- Oh, it's from Dennis. - Oh.

dennis

↓

I think he sent me a picture.

picture sent

↓

No.

↓

No!

↓

Oh! You guys! You guys, a car!

↓

- No. - Hey!

↓

- Hi-yo! Oh-oh-oh, we're saved! - Hey! Hey!

saved

↓

Oh, good.

↓

Hey there! Y'all need a ride?

ride yall

↓

- Yes. Yes. - Yeah!

↓

Must be hot, huh? Oh! Hey, you! Mr. Hottie!

hottie must

↓

Come on now.