Home » It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia » S06E08 — The Gang Gets a New Member

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Season 6, Episode 8 — The Gang Gets a New Member

Butt, butt, butt

#1

⇓

Open up the time capsule

#2

⇓

Butt, butt, butt

#3

⇓

Time capsule, time capsule

#4

⇓

What are you doing?

#5

⇓

Butt, butt, butt

#6

⇓

That's great, Charlie. I could watch him do that for hours.

#7

⇓

- Time capsule - Butt, butt

#8

⇓

What is the time capsule butt, butt?

#9

⇓

We're about to open this time capsule that we buried 10 years ago.

#10

⇓

- Oh. - Yeah.

#11

⇓

- What'd you put in there? - Oh, man.

#12

⇓

We just put a bunch of stuff in here that we thought would be valuable one day.

#13

⇓

Like, uh, let's see… We got a Gregg Jefferies baseball card.

#14

⇓

- Future All-Star. Future All-Star. - Uh, we got a Korn CD.

#15

⇓

Uh, we got a copy of Cider House Rules on laser disc.

#16

⇓

Don't know why we thought that would be valuable.

#17

⇓

- That's a collector's item. - That's gonna be very…

#18

⇓

- Be very careful with that. - Oh, my God, you guys.

#19

⇓

- This is a letter to my future self. - What?

#20

⇓

Yeah. "Dear Future Dee, how's Hollywood?

#21

⇓

Congrats on all of your success. Stay grounded.

#22

⇓

Enclosed is a check for one million dollars.

#23

⇓

Be sure to give it to Dr. Larry Meyers as a thank-you for all of his inspiration."

#24

⇓

- That's stupid. This is just stupid. - Who's Dr. Larry Meyers?

#25

⇓

Nobody. It doesn't matter. He was my high school drama teacher.

#26

⇓

This is just dumb.

#27

⇓

Like, why would we put such stupid stuff in here?

#28

⇓

And also, we buried it and then we opened it 10 years later?

#29

⇓

What, are you supposed to just bury it, open it right up…

#30

⇓

and not give yourself any time to fulfill any kind of dreams?

#31

⇓

The whole thing's dumb. Like… Cider House Rules? Okay.

#32

⇓

Hormones.

#33

⇓

- Wow. - She's all worked up.

#34

⇓

- I think it was the… It's the failure. - You know, it's the failure.

#35

⇓

- It's sad. It's sad. - What else is in there?

#36

⇓

Uh… oh! Old pictures! Old pictures!

#37

⇓

- Pictures! Holy shit. - Look at that!

#38

⇓

- Look! - "The gang."

#39

⇓

Whew.

#40

⇓

Who's this jag-off? Look.

#41

⇓

- Oh, that's Schmitty! - Schmitty!

#42

⇓

He was the fourth member of our crew.

#43

⇓

There was another member of the gang?

#44

⇓

Oh, yeah, dude. I miss him.

#45

⇓

Why did we ditch him in the first place?

#46

⇓

- I don't know. - I can't remember why.

#47

⇓

Eh, he wasn't a good fit. Remember?

#48

⇓

You know? Kind of got on our nerves.

#49

⇓

- He didn't get on my nerves. - No, he never got on my nerves.

#50

⇓

I actually really loved that guy.

#51

⇓

You know what? I remember now. Charlie soured on him.

#52

⇓

- No. - And then he, like, gave us an ultimatum.

#53

⇓

You remember? And then we all turned on the guy pretty quickly.

#54

⇓

I mean, we all agreed he was out of the…

#55

⇓

You pushed him out of a moving car and yelled, "You're out of the gang!"

#56

⇓

Now, in hindsight that does seem a little rash.

#57

⇓

Yeah, it was a bit of a snap decision.

#58

⇓

Why don't you call this Schmitty guy up and see what he's up to now?

#59

⇓

Yeah, you know, I do feel like

#60

⇓

we owe the guy an apology. Yeah. You know what?

#61

⇓

- I'd love to see Schmitty. - I would too.

#62

⇓

Yeah, but that's a bad snap decision, you know?

#63

⇓

- There's a reason he didn't work out. - Let's go.

#64

⇓

We got a good thing going on now without him.

#65

⇓

We don't need a new member of the gang.

#66

⇓

- Don't get Schmitty. Don't get Schmitty. - I like Schmitty. He's nice.

#67

⇓

- I'm really pumped to meet this guy. - Ah, he was the coolest.

#68

⇓

Seriously.

#69

⇓

- Oh, hey. Hey! - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

#70

⇓

Mrs. Schmit. Hey, it's, uh… It's Dennis.

#71

⇓

Yeah, and Mac. You remember us, right?

#72

⇓

- Yeah. - We're looking for Schmitty. He around?

#73

⇓

Ah, he's dead.

#74

⇓

- Oh. What? - Oh, gosh. That is too bad.

#75

⇓

- We're sorry for your loss. - Yee-aaah!

#76

⇓

What's up, bitches?

#77

⇓

- Oh! - Is that Schmitty?

#78

⇓

- Yeah, it's Schmitty! - We thought you were dead.

#79

⇓

- He made me say it. - "He made me say it."

#80

⇓

Listen to you, Mom.

#81

⇓

- Thank you for playing along. - Yeah.

#82

⇓

- You're a sweetheart. - You see that shit?

#83

⇓

He jumped down a whole flight of stairs.

#84

⇓

Yeah, I didn't see you down there, Chuckles.

#85

⇓

How you been, little man?

#86

⇓

Not that little, you know? Regular size.

#87

⇓

- Maybe he, but… - Not anymore.

#88

⇓

Put on a few LB's since I saw you last, huh?

#89

⇓

Nope! Same weight.

#90

⇓

- Same weight I always been. - Yeah. He put on a lot of weight.

#91

⇓

- No, you tacked on weight. - I tacked on mass. Muscle mass.

#92

⇓

- Who's this old son of a bitch? - I'm Frank.

#93

⇓

- Frank? - Frank. I'm Schmitty.

#94

⇓

- Nice to… Put her there. - No!

#95

⇓

Don't kiss him!

#96

⇓

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, uh, so what brings you dicks here, huh?

#97

⇓

Oh, well, Schmitty, um, honestly, we came around here because we, um…

#98

⇓

- Go ahead. - Want to say we're sorry, Schmitty,

#99

⇓

that we…

#100

⇓

- Can you take this, Mac? - Yeah, man, I got this.

#101

⇓

Hey, man, we just want to say we're sorry for icing you out in the past,

#102

⇓

- and we'd like your forgiveness. - Oh, yeah.

#103

⇓

Get on your knees and ask.

#104

⇓

- Excuse me? - Get down on your knees and ask.

#105

⇓

Show some humility, for Christ's sake.

#106

⇓

- Really? - Yeah.

#107

⇓

- Aw, man. - Whatever it takes, Schmitty.

#108

⇓

Wow, you're really doing it. I'm kidding.

#109

⇓

- I'm kidding! - Oh! Oh, he's joking!

#110

⇓

Oh, man! Come on, guys!

#111

⇓

Have some dignity, some respect for yourselves.

#112

⇓

- Do you forgive us? - Absolutely.

#113

⇓

That's classy, Schmitty. Very classy.

#114

⇓

Dr. Meyers?

#115

⇓

- Yes? - Hi.

#116

⇓

Dee Reynolds.

#117

⇓

I was in the school musical. Frankenstein.

#118

⇓

- Yes, of course! Deandra Reynolds! - Yeah!

#119

⇓

- Sit, darling. - Thank you.

#120

⇓

Sit.

#121

⇓

Listen, I came to talk to you about high school. I…

#122

⇓

Oh, uh…

#123

⇓

I was drinking a lot back then, so if I did anything inappropriate…

#124

⇓

Oh, no, no, no. No, not at all.

#125

⇓

In fact, the opposite. You were, like, the most inspiring teacher I had.

#126

⇓

In fact, I wrote you this check 10 years ago…

#127

⇓

with the hopes that I could one day give it to you as a thank-you.

#128

⇓

May you rot in hell, you wretched beast!

#129

⇓

Oh. Um…

#130

⇓

- I'm confused. Uh… - Frankenstein.

#131

⇓

That's what the villagers screamed at you…

#132

⇓

just before you threw yourself on the funeral pyre.

#133

⇓

Oh, you were such a hideous delight in that show.

#134

⇓

Thank you. Yes, okay.

#135

⇓

So what you're saying is, don't give up. I shouldn't give up

#136

⇓

- on my dream of being… - No. No. No, my dear.

#137

⇓

You must give up. You must.

#138

⇓

It's far too late for you.

#139

⇓

But it's not too late to teach.

#140

⇓

Come speak to the kids. Inspire them.

#141

⇓

It's an opportunity to share your unique experiences.

#142

⇓

- Uh-huh. - The question is:

#143

⇓

Will you seize it?

#144

⇓

Mmm.

#145

⇓

- No, thank you. What? - Five…

#146

⇓

- four, three… - No, I just never wanted to be teaching…

#147

⇓

- …two, one. - No offense. What are you doing?

#148

⇓

- Okay, yes. - And there you have it!

#149

⇓

A teacher is born.

#150

⇓

There we are.

#151

⇓

Man, this is unbelievable, huh. Working at a bar? Running a bar?

#152

⇓

This has got to be, like, the greatest job ever, right?

#153

⇓

- It is, man. This is what we do. - A lot of dicking around.

#154

⇓

Hey, um, you're still, uh, living with your mom, huh?

#155

⇓

That sounds kind of lame.

#156

⇓

Yeah, well, I mean, it's the M.S. that's really lame.

#157

⇓

- You know? - Oh, your mom has…

#158

⇓

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. She's doing all right though.

#159

⇓

I moved in with her to take care of her and stuff like that.

#160

⇓

It's good to really get to know her before, you know, uh, she moves on.

#161

⇓

Kind of a downer, that story though. Kind of a downer.

#162

⇓

What about you, man? What's your living situation like these days?

#163

⇓

- Oh, it's pretty sweet. - I am. I'm his living situation.

#164

⇓

- He lives with me. - Oh, yeah?

#165

⇓

- Yeah, we share a bed. - Well, not every night.

#166

⇓

That's hilarious. You know, Charlie and I used to be roomies.

#167

⇓

- Yeah. - Yeah, yeah.

#168

⇓

- You remember that? - Oh, yeah.

#169

⇓

Hey, you remember how you used to try to get me

#170

⇓

to play all those lame games?

#171

⇓

You know, those weird things you would want to do at night?

#172

⇓

Like, uh, Night Crawlers?

#173

⇓

- We play Night Crawlers all the time. - You do?

#174

⇓

Well, Frank enjoys those games very much.

#175

⇓

Oh. Oh. Correct me if I'm wrong,

#176

⇓

but to make Night Crawlers a little bit better,

#177

⇓

you should use blankets, right?

#178

⇓

- They could be the dirt! - Exactly.

#179

⇓

You could use it as a force field or as a roaming base.

#180

⇓

- It's a great idea. - Yeah. It's not a good idea though…

#181

⇓

- Thank you. - …because you wouldn't…

#182

⇓

- It's an imagination-based game. - No, it's still imagination-based.

#183

⇓

Oh! I had an idea!

#184

⇓

Dennis, remember you and Mac and you guys

#185

⇓

were laughing at me doing the butt dance? Yeah.

#186

⇓

They love that when I do it. Guys, watch me. Watch me, will you?

#187

⇓

Oh, yeah!

#188

⇓

Five, six, seven, eight!

#189

⇓

Butt, butt

#190

⇓

Butt, butt

#191

⇓

Oh, Charlie, no.

#192

⇓

Give it to me…

#193

⇓

Where is this coming from… This is not…

#194

⇓

This is embarrassing.

#195

⇓

God, this is just humiliating.

#196

⇓

- Guys, get excited! We're doing the… - Hey, Charlie…

#197

⇓

Butt, butt

#198

⇓

You're not having fun doing it,

#199

⇓

so we're not having fun watching it, buddy.

#200

⇓

Watch. It's like this. It's more… I don't know. Something like, uh…

#201

⇓

Butt, butt butt-butt-butt

#202

⇓

Butt, butt, butt-butt-butt butt, butt, butt-butt-butt

#203

⇓

Butt…butt!

#204

⇓

Woo, woo, woo, woo! Hyah!

#205

⇓

Butt dance 2.0. Butt dance 2.0.

#206

⇓

- Hey, Schmitty. - I'll drink to that.

#207

⇓

Schmitty, you know what you got… You know what you got

#208

⇓

that Charlie doesn't quite have?

#209

⇓

You have that "it" factor. You know what I'm saying?

#210

⇓

Charisma. It's, like, you got it.

#211

⇓

Hey, you guys!

#212

⇓

Can I talk to you in the back office for a second real quick?

#213

⇓

I can't believe this dude. He has not changed in years, man!

#214

⇓

Look, you guys need to make a decision right now, okay?

#215

⇓

It is either him, or it is me!

#216

⇓

- Him. - Yeah.

#217

⇓

I was gonna say him too. Yeah, him, him.

#218

⇓

Yeah. You know what, it's always been him.

#219

⇓

I don't know why I didn't see that before.

#220

⇓

I'm out of the gang?

#221

⇓

- Him. - Him.

#222

⇓

Hello, everybody. Hi there.

#223

⇓

My name is Dee Reynolds, and not only

#224

⇓

am I a professional actress and comedienne,

#225

⇓

uh, but I also used to go to school here.

#226

⇓

What have you acted in?

#227

⇓

A lot of… A lot. I've acted in a lot of things.

#228

⇓

You may not have seen all of them or any of them.

#229

⇓

Yeah. It's not time for questions.

#230

⇓

I'll let you know when it's time for questions though, okay?

#231

⇓

And the phone goes away. And the phone goes into your pocket

#232

⇓

or into your backpack. But not out in your fingers,

#233

⇓

- because I'm talking. - Nah, I'm a'ight.

#234

⇓

Yeah. Said the turkey.

#235

⇓

Uh-oh. Oh, no.

#236

⇓

Who's she? Who's she?

#237

⇓

She's somebody that'll zing you back. Right?

#238

⇓

I'll zing you. I'll zap you, I'll zing you.

#239

⇓

So just know that about me.

#240

⇓

You know, I know that, uh,

#241

⇓

you guys are 18 and you're seniors, and so…

#242

⇓

Okay, what is it that they're doing?

#243

⇓

- What is this that they're doing? - Oh, they're doing their coughing thing.

#244

⇓

- Yeah, I hear that. - All right, kids, settle down.

#245

⇓

You can, uh, read, pull out your phones, whatever.

#246

⇓

They do love their phones.

#247

⇓

What? That's it?

#248

⇓

You're just gonna sit in the corner and hem away at your sock all day?

#249

⇓

No! Where is the teacher that I knew?

#250

⇓

Where is that inspirational man?

#251

⇓

My enthusiasm in those days was fueled entirely by the alcohol.

#252

⇓

Dee! Hey!

#253

⇓

- Come here. Come here. - Charlie, what are you…

#254

⇓

- What are you doing? - Got kicked out of the gang.

#255

⇓

What are you up to? You wanna hang out?

#256

⇓

No, Charlie. I don't want to hang out. I have a job.

#257

⇓

I'm a teacher now, so I got to get back

#258

⇓

- to inspiring some students. - Oh, that's pretty sweet.

#259

⇓

You want to toss some inspiration my way, you know?

#260

⇓

'Cause the guys think Schmitty's all that and, like, I'm no good.

#261

⇓

- Okay, Charlie, how about this? - Uh-huh?

#262

⇓

You are good at cleaning shit out of toilets…

#263

⇓

- Right. - …and taking trash and throwing it

#264

⇓

into Dumpsters. So why don't you get a new job

#265

⇓

somewhere else doing those kinds of things and make friends there, okay?

#266

⇓

Okay, Dee, so are you saying get a job here as the janitor,

#267

⇓

and then you and I can be best friends?

#268

⇓

That is absolutely not what I was saying.

#269

⇓

I'm gonna talk to the principal, see if I can get that job.

#270

⇓

- Don't do that. - We'll work on the friendship thing later.

#271

⇓

No, don't do that. Charlie, don't do that.

#272

⇓

Oh, goddamn it, don't do that. This is my thing.

#273

⇓

Here we go.

#274

⇓

- All right! There's the man! - What's up, buddy?

#275

⇓

- This place is pretty nice. - Yeah.

#276

⇓

What's going on? Are you guys gonna try to bang me afterwards or something?

#277

⇓

Very nice turn.

#278

⇓

Try not to laugh too much, 'cause it's gonna… Okay.

#279

⇓

We only come here for special occasions.

#280

⇓

- Yeah. - Good, good. What's the occasion?

#281

⇓

Well, we brought you to this luncheon, Schmitty,

#282

⇓

because we want to make this official.

#283

⇓

- Mac, do you have the ring? - Yeah.

#284

⇓

Okay, great. Um…

#285

⇓

Schmitty, we, uh…

#286

⇓

we missed a lot of good, good years.

#287

⇓

- A lot of special time. - Yeah?

#288

⇓

- With you. - Thanks.

#289

⇓

And, uh… You know what? I don't think I can do this.

#290

⇓

- Okay. I'll take over from here. - Why are you being a puss?

#291

⇓

- I'll take over. I'll take over. - Why's he being a big-time puss?

#292

⇓

- I know. He's emotional. - Schmitty, we want you back,

#293

⇓

if you'll have us.

#294

⇓

What the hell is this shit?

#295

⇓

It's a sterling silver clover ring.

#296

⇓

When we put all four of them together, it makes a four-leaf clover…

#297

⇓

solidifying our bond for all time.

#298

⇓

You're kidding though, right?

#299

⇓

No, we've never been more serious in our lives.

#300

⇓

Yeah.

#301

⇓

Yeah, whatever. I don't care. Sure.

#302

⇓

- Yes? Yes? That's a yes! - Yeah. He said yes. That's a yes.

#303

⇓

- I'm hungry. - We bagged him.

#304

⇓

- We certainly did. - Oh, food's here! Food is here.

#305

⇓

Wait. Hold on. No, I didn't order yet.

#306

⇓

Oh, that's okay. I took care of the food already.

#307

⇓

Yes. Dennis orders for us.

#308

⇓

That is a humongous shrimp.

#309

⇓

Well, it's 'cause it's not a shrimp, Frank, it's a prawn.

#310

⇓

Yeah. And I don't like prawns, so I eat around them.

#311

⇓

- Yeah. - I'll take your prawns

#312

⇓

if you want to take my salad.

#313

⇓

- Eh. - No?

#314

⇓

- Okay. Yeah. That's what I'll do. - Hey, no, wait! Hold on!

#315

⇓

Why don't you just order what you want?

#316

⇓

Well, Dennis kind of has the best palate.

#317

⇓

Yeah, I have the most refined palate, Schmitty.

#318

⇓

That's how we do things now.

#319

⇓

You've been away for a while. It's fine.

#320

⇓

No, no. That's not what I'm gonna do.

#321

⇓

Excuse me. Hey, come here really quick.

#322

⇓

Um, can I get, uh… You have linguine?

#323

⇓

Yeah, can I get linguine instead?

#324

⇓

Uh, and what do you guys want? Order whatever you want.

#325

⇓

- Linguine's too heavy for lunch. - No, no. What do you want?

#326

⇓

- I want fries. - Fries for this guy.

#327

⇓

- No, no, no. - I can have fries?

#328

⇓

You don't like your salad all of a sudden, Mac?

#329

⇓

- All right, Dennis, I hate salad. - You hate salad?

#330

⇓

- Where is this coming from? - I didn't wanna say anything.

#331

⇓

- I hate this restaurant. - Yeah, this restaurant blows.

#332

⇓

- I'll have a ginger ale. - All right! Come on, man!

#333

⇓

- Get into it! He's into it. - Nice.

#334

⇓

I'm saying that now. Can I say that now?

#335

⇓

- What? - Hyah!

#336

⇓

Absolutely. Take it. That's yours. By all means.

#337

⇓

- All right. - What'd you get, a ginger ale?

#338

⇓

I'm a little confused.

#339

⇓

Are you telling me that this photo of Bruce Jenner is your resume?

#340

⇓

Well, when I showed up this morning,

#341

⇓

I didn't have a formal resume on me,

#342

⇓

so I was sort of hoping the photograph of Mr. Jenner could…

#343

⇓

could represent the standard of excellence

#344

⇓

I'm hoping to bring to this position.

#345

⇓

I see. And you're looking for a job

#346

⇓

- as a substitute teacher? - Substitute janitor.

#347

⇓

Look, I'll clean this building so good, you're not gonna know

#348

⇓

what to do with yourself.

#349

⇓

You know what I mean? I'm not a proud man.

#350

⇓

You know, I'll do the jobs that the other guys don't want to do.

#351

⇓

I'll degrade myself.

#352

⇓

I'll make a genuine ass out of myself. Yeah.

#353

⇓

Hey, look, I'll swallow that eraser whole just to prove it to you.

#354

⇓

- Uh, no, no. Please. Please. - No. I'll swallow it whole.

#355

⇓

Oh, no, no, no, no. You don't have to do that.

#356

⇓

But I have to say, I don't think I've ever encountered someone

#357

⇓

who's so passionate about joining our custodial staff.

#358

⇓

The passion I have for the work that I do is extraordinary.

#359

⇓

It probably goes beyond Jenner.

#360

⇓

- Uh-huh. - And I'm serious.

#361

⇓

- I'll eat that eraser whole. - Oh, no, no, it's not nec…

#362

⇓

You don't need to eat the eraser to prove your point.

#363

⇓

- Sure. - Uh, you have the job.

#364

⇓

- Are you serious? - I love your attitude. It's fantastic.

#365

⇓

Sir, I am not gonna let you down.

#366

⇓

- I'm gonna start cleaning immediately. - All right.

#367

⇓

- Okay. - Immediately. Uh, but first,

#368

⇓

- can I eat the eraser? - Are you…

#369

⇓

You're saying you want to eat the eraser?

#370

⇓

Well, I'm asking if it's edible, because it certainly smells of grapes.

#371

⇓

- I don't I don't think it's edible. - Can't I just test it?

#372

⇓

I'd rather you didn't. I kinda want… I might need it.

#373

⇓

All right. Well, you win this one.

#374

⇓

I'll pick up one of my own and I'll eat that one.

#375

⇓

- In that way everybody wins. - All right, well, welcome aboard.

#376

⇓

All right. All right. Thanks so much.

#377

⇓

Ridiculous. It's ridiculous.

#378

⇓

I mean, where the hell is he?

#379

⇓

- I don't know. - I mean what time did we say?

#380

⇓

- We said 3:00. - We said 3:00, and it's, like…

#381

⇓

- Ah. - Hyah!

#382

⇓

- Well… - What's crappenin', fellas?

#383

⇓

Uh, hey, Schmitty. Running kinda late there, huh?

#384

⇓

- Am I? I didn't think it mattered. - How could it not matter?

#385

⇓

I mean, this is the final phase of your initiation back into the gang,

#386

⇓

so it kinda matters a lot.

#387

⇓

- It actually does. - Whoa. Um, where is your ring?

#388

⇓

Oh, come on.

#389

⇓

Well, you didn't want me to really wear that thing, did ya?

#390

⇓

- Yeah. - Oh.

#391

⇓

We're sort of sticklers for that kind of thing too.

#392

⇓

- So pop that on. - I will. Okay. Sorry about that.

#393

⇓

Time and ring. Good. Got it.

#394

⇓

- Okay. Oh! - Yeah.

#395

⇓

Hey, look at this!

#396

⇓

Nice setup, fellas.

#397

⇓

Candles? Where'd you steal these from, huh?

#398

⇓

We bought those.

#399

⇓

Uh-oh! When the hell'd you take that?

#400

⇓

- Don't worry about it, Schmitty. - We got to ya.

#401

⇓

This is weird as hell. You guys see that, right?

#402

⇓

What's weird about this? This is a men's ceremony, okay?

#403

⇓

They have ceremonies for all sorts of men's clubs.

#404

⇓

- Yeah, it's… - You know, the Mafia,

#405

⇓

the Freemasons, the White House.

#406

⇓

- The White House. They do it. - This is cool, okay?

#407

⇓

Trust me. What we're doing is very cool.

#408

⇓

- Okay. - Mac, why don't we get started?

#409

⇓

You'll get it. He'll understand as the ceremony progresses.

#410

⇓

All right, Schmitty, please have a seat

#411

⇓

- in the ceremonial seat. - Yeah.

#412

⇓

- Uh, Frank, please do the candles. - I'll do the candles.

#413

⇓

Dennis, the song.

#414

⇓

All right, the song.

#415

⇓

Oh, look at that!

#416

⇓

- All right, take it… Take it seriously. - I am. I'm locked in.

#417

⇓

Oh, okay, I will now begin the ceremony

#418

⇓

by administering a sweet roundhouse kick to the bell.

#419

⇓

There's a bell?

#420

⇓

Step, step.

#421

⇓

- Uh-oh. Whiff! - I just missed that. I just missed that.

#422

⇓

Dude, you're not even close.

#423

⇓

No, Schmitty, this is all part of the ceremony.

#424

⇓

What is?-

#425

⇓

Watch it. Oh! No, no. No.

#426

⇓

Oh, you gotta stretch before this thing, huh?

#427

⇓

- Enjoy it. - One last crack. Come on.

#428

⇓

- Hyah! - Oh, man. This is pathetic.

#429

⇓

Here, dude, look. It goes something like this.

#430

⇓

Hyah!

#431

⇓

I'm excited. I am.

#432

⇓

I mean, the first part of the ceremony was a little lame,

#433

⇓

but ending it with a hot air balloon ride, that kicks ass.

#434

⇓

Yeah, yeah, all those things. Yup.

#435

⇓

- Frank, now! - Push, Frank, push! Go, go, go!

#436

⇓

- I got him. - Oh, come on.

#437

⇓

Frank. Come on, Frank, push him out!

#438

⇓

Well, are you literally trying to push me out of a moving car again?

#439

⇓

- Yes. - Goddamn it.

#440

⇓

Pull over. Why are you doing this?

#441

⇓

- I'll just pull over. Great job, Frank. - Frank, come on.

#442

⇓

- Tub of lard over here. - Oh, take it easy, okay?

#443

⇓

Give me back the ring! All right.

#444

⇓

- 'Cause you don't deserve it! - Take the ring.

#445

⇓

- You're out of the gang, Schmitty! - You're out of the gang Schmitty!

#446

⇓

Get out! Get out! You're out! You're out!

#447

⇓

Okay. Got it. I heard ya. Nice seeing you guys again.

#448

⇓

Very nice meeting you.

#449

⇓

- Yeah. - Get out of the car!

#450

⇓

I heard you. I'm getting out. Okay?

#451

⇓

- Now, Dennis. Peel out. - Yeah…

#452

⇓

Well, I was gonna peel out, and then you…

#453

⇓

Don't take the steam out of it.

#454

⇓

Tell people we pushed you!

#455

⇓

All right, class, feel free to text…

#456

⇓

or watch movies, whatever it is you do.

#457

⇓

- Not today, Doc. - What are you doing, Dee?

#458

⇓

I am inspiring you.

#459

⇓

Rise and shine, dickwad.

#460

⇓

Okay, this is a great teacher,

#461

⇓

but he is wasted on you.

#462

⇓

Well, not anymore.

#463

⇓

We're gonna be rehearsing a little musical today called Frankenstein.

#464

⇓

- This is stupid. - Get out. You're stupid.

#465

⇓

- What? - You heard me.

#466

⇓

You get out of here, you stupid idiot.

#467

⇓

- It's fine by me. - Yeah, good.

#468

⇓

And anybody else who doesn't want to be here today,

#469

⇓

you can get out now too.

#470

⇓

- Hey, you want to go to the mall? - No, no, wait. No, no, no. Okay. Stop!

#471

⇓

No, come on, you guys! That's…

#472

⇓

Not everybody. Sit back down.

#473

⇓

That's just something people say. You guys are gonna love this.

#474

⇓

Okay, let's get started.

#475

⇓

"Have you seen Dr. Frankenstein's creation that they all speak of?"

#476

⇓

"Nay, I've heard tales told of his hideousness.

#477

⇓

A monster most foul."

#478

⇓

My face composed of rotten flesh

#479

⇓

Roar, roar

#480

⇓

A hideous beast with deadly clutch

#481

⇓

Roar, roar

#482

⇓

Another's heart beats in my chest

#483

⇓

I'll never know a woman's touch

#484

⇓

Roar!

#485

⇓

And then I retreat into the mist.

#486

⇓

And, Dr. Meyers, you are Dr. Frankenstein,

#487

⇓

so get up here and get acting!

#488

⇓

With pleasure, Dee!

#489

⇓

Just let me set the loop and here I come!

#490

⇓

Oops! That's not…

#491

⇓

I am shattered to pieces!

#492

⇓

Are you acting right now?

#493

⇓

No, I'm not acting, you bitch!

#494

⇓

- I think I've broke my hip. - Oh.

#495

⇓

Why is this damn stage so slippery?

#496

⇓

- Hey, Charlie! - Hey, there he is! Charlie boy!

#497

⇓

This floor is slippery, man.

#498

⇓

Whole school's slippery, 'cause I waxed it real good…

#499

⇓

with this awesome power waxer that the school provided me.

#500

⇓

I did this whole place in, like, two hours.

#501

⇓

- Oh, nice. - Whoa. That's impressive.

#502

⇓

Yeah. Dee inspired me. She said, "You're an awesome janitor, Charlie.

#503

⇓

You can make this whole school slippery."

#504

⇓

I said, "Sure, I'll give it my best shot."

#505

⇓

Then she's, like, "Let's be best friends."

#506

⇓

And I was, like, "Sure, I'll give that my best shot too."

#507

⇓

So we're best friends now.

#508

⇓

Yeah, that's… That's quite a conversation you had with her, isn't it?

#509

⇓

Mm-hmm. What do you guys want?

#510

⇓

Oh, well, we, uh… We came to ya…

#511

⇓

because we wanted to tell you that we're sorry for picking Schmitty over you,

#512

⇓

and we feel like we made a big mistake,

#513

⇓

and we want you back, buddy.

#514

⇓

And, uh…

#515

⇓

we pushed him out of a moving car for you.

#516

⇓

- I can't do it. - Jesus, dude. What is wrong with you?

#517

⇓

All right, I'll handle it. Charlie, we have an announcement to make.

#518

⇓

It's your lucky day. We want you back.

#519

⇓

- Yeah. - Yeah.

#520

⇓

Gotta say, that's pretty classy, guys,

#521

⇓

but I wish you gave me one of these a long time ago,

#522

⇓

'cause I'm a janitor now.

#523

⇓