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Home » It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia » S06E08 — The Gang Gets a New Member

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Season 6, Episode 8 — The Gang Gets a New Member

TMDB episode metadata

Show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Episode title: The Gang Gets a New Member

Air date: November 04, 2010

Director: Matt Shakman

Top billed cast: Charlie Day, Glenn Howerton, Rob Mac, Kaitlin Olson, Danny DeVito

A blast from the past prompts the guys to expand membership, and Dee to re-consider her future.

Source: TMDB

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Butt, butt, butt

butt butt-butt butt-butt-butt

↓

Open up the time capsule

capsule open

↓

Butt, butt, butt

butt butt-butt butt-butt-butt

↓

Time capsule, time capsule

capsule

↓

What are you doing?

↓

Butt, butt, butt

butt butt-butt butt-butt-butt

↓

That's great, Charlie. I could watch him do that for hours.

charlie hours watch

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- Time capsule - Butt, butt

butt butt-butt capsule

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What is the time capsule butt, butt?

butt butt-butt capsule

↓

We're about to open this time capsule that we buried 10 years ago.

buried capsule open years

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- Oh. - Yeah.

↓

- What'd you put in there? - Oh, man.

whatd

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We just put a bunch of stuff in here that we thought would be valuable one day.

bunch stuff valuable

↓

Like, uh, let's see… We got a Gregg Jefferies baseball card.

baseball card

↓

- Future All-Star. Future All-Star. - Uh, we got a Korn CD.

future korn star

↓

Uh, we got a copy of Cider House Rules on laser disc.

cider copy house house-rules laser rules

↓

Don't know why we thought that would be valuable.

valuable

↓

- That's a collector's item. - That's gonna be very…

collectors item

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- Be very careful with that. - Oh, my God, you guys.

careful

↓

- This is a letter to my future self. - What?

future letter self

↓

Yeah. "Dear Future Dee, how's Hollywood?

dear future hollywood

↓

Congrats on all of your success. Stay grounded.

congrats grounded success

↓

Enclosed is a check for one million dollars.

check dollars million million-dollars

↓

Be sure to give it to Dr. Larry Meyers as a thank-you for all of his inspiration."

inspiration larry

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- That's stupid. This is just stupid. - Who's Dr. Larry Meyers?

larry stupid

↓

Nobody. It doesn't matter. He was my high school drama teacher.

drama matter nobody school teacher

↓

This is just dumb.

dumb

↓

Like, why would we put such stupid stuff in here?

stuff stupid

↓

And also, we buried it and then we opened it 10 years later?

buried opened years

↓

What, are you supposed to just bury it, open it right up…

bury open supposed

↓

and not give yourself any time to fulfill any kind of dreams?

dreams fulfill

↓

The whole thing's dumb. Like… Cider House Rules? Okay.

cider dumb house house-rules rules whole

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Hormones.

hormones

↓

- Wow. - She's all worked up.

worked

↓

- I think it was the… It's the failure. - You know, it's the failure.

failure

↓

- It's sad. It's sad. - What else is in there?

↓

Uh… oh! Old pictures! Old pictures!

pictures

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- Pictures! Holy shit. - Look at that!

holy pictures

↓

- Look! - "The gang."

gang

↓

Whew.

whew

↓

Who's this jag-off? Look.

↓

- Oh, that's Schmitty! - Schmitty!

schmitty

↓

He was the fourth member of our crew.

crew fourth member

↓

There was another member of the gang?

another gang member

↓

Oh, yeah, dude. I miss him.

miss

↓

Why did we ditch him in the first place?

ditch place

↓

- I don't know. - I can't remember why.

remember

↓

Eh, he wasn't a good fit. Remember?

remember

↓

You know? Kind of got on our nerves.

nerves

↓

- He didn't get on my nerves. - No, he never got on my nerves.

nerves

↓

I actually really loved that guy.

loved

↓

You know what? I remember now. Charlie soured on him.

charlie remember

↓

- No. - And then he, like, gave us an ultimatum.

ultimatum

↓

You remember? And then we all turned on the guy pretty quickly.

quickly remember turned

↓

I mean, we all agreed he was out of the…

agreed

↓

You pushed him out of a moving car and yelled, "You're out of the gang!"

gang moving pushed yelled

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Now, in hindsight that does seem a little rash.

rash

↓

Yeah, it was a bit of a snap decision.

decision snap

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Why don't you call this Schmitty guy up and see what he's up to now?

schmitty

↓

Yeah, you know, I do feel like

↓

we owe the guy an apology. Yeah. You know what?

apology

↓

- I'd love to see Schmitty. - I would too.

love schmitty

↓

Yeah, but that's a bad snap decision, you know?

decision snap

↓

- There's a reason he didn't work out. - Let's go.

reason

↓

We got a good thing going on now without him.

↓

We don't need a new member of the gang.

gang member

↓

- Don't get Schmitty. Don't get Schmitty. - I like Schmitty. He's nice.

schmitty

↓

- I'm really pumped to meet this guy. - Ah, he was the coolest.

coolest meet pumped

↓

Seriously.

↓

- Oh, hey. Hey! - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

↓

Mrs. Schmit. Hey, it's, uh… It's Dennis.

dennis

↓

Yeah, and Mac. You remember us, right?

remember

↓

- Yeah. - We're looking for Schmitty. He around?

looking schmitty

↓

Ah, he's dead.

dead

↓

- Oh. What? - Oh, gosh. That is too bad.

gosh

↓

- We're sorry for your loss. - Yee-aaah!

aaah loss

↓

What's up, bitches?

bitches

↓

- Oh! - Is that Schmitty?

schmitty

↓

- Yeah, it's Schmitty! - We thought you were dead.

dead schmitty

↓

- He made me say it. - "He made me say it."

↓

Listen to you, Mom.

↓

- Thank you for playing along. - Yeah.

along playing

↓

- You're a sweetheart. - You see that shit?

sweetheart

↓

He jumped down a whole flight of stairs.

flight jumped stairs whole

↓

Yeah, I didn't see you down there, Chuckles.

chuckles

↓

How you been, little man?

↓

Not that little, you know? Regular size.

regular size

↓

- Maybe he, but… - Not anymore.

anymore

↓

Put on a few LB's since I saw you last, huh?

↓

Nope! Same weight.

nope weight

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- Same weight I always been. - Yeah. He put on a lot of weight.

weight

↓

- No, you tacked on weight. - I tacked on mass. Muscle mass.

mass muscle weight

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- Who's this old son of a bitch? - I'm Frank.

bitch frank

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- Frank? - Frank. I'm Schmitty.

frank frank-frank schmitty

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- Nice to… Put her there. - No!

↓

Don't kiss him!

kiss

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Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, uh, so what brings you dicks here, huh?

brings dicks

↓

Oh, well, Schmitty, um, honestly, we came around here because we, um…

schmitty

↓

- Go ahead. - Want to say we're sorry, Schmitty,

ahead go-ahead schmitty

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that we…

↓

- Can you take this, Mac? - Yeah, man, I got this.

↓

Hey, man, we just want to say we're sorry for icing you out in the past,

icing past

↓

- and we'd like your forgiveness. - Oh, yeah.

forgiveness

↓

Get on your knees and ask.

knees

↓

- Excuse me? - Get down on your knees and ask.

excuse knees

↓

Show some humility, for Christ's sake.

christs christs-sake sake

↓

- Really? - Yeah.

↓

- Aw, man. - Whatever it takes, Schmitty.

schmitty takes

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Wow, you're really doing it. I'm kidding.

kidding

↓

- I'm kidding! - Oh! Oh, he's joking!

joking kidding

↓

Oh, man! Come on, guys!

↓

Have some dignity, some respect for yourselves.

dignity respect yourselves

↓

- Do you forgive us? - Absolutely.

absolutely forgive

↓

That's classy, Schmitty. Very classy.

classy schmitty

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Dr. Meyers?

↓

- Yes? - Hi.

↓

Dee Reynolds.

reynolds

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I was in the school musical. Frankenstein.

frankenstein musical school

↓

- Yes, of course! Deandra Reynolds! - Yeah!

course deandra deandra-reynolds reynolds

↓

- Sit, darling. - Thank you.

darling

↓

Sit.

↓

Listen, I came to talk to you about high school. I…

school

↓

Oh, uh…

↓

I was drinking a lot back then, so if I did anything inappropriate…

drinking inappropriate

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Oh, no, no, no. No, not at all.

↓

In fact, the opposite. You were, like, the most inspiring teacher I had.

fact inspiring opposite teacher

↓

In fact, I wrote you this check 10 years ago…

check fact wrote years

↓

with the hopes that I could one day give it to you as a thank-you.

hopes

↓

May you rot in hell, you wretched beast!

beast wretched

↓

Oh. Um…

↓

- I'm confused. Uh… - Frankenstein.

confused frankenstein

↓

That's what the villagers screamed at you…

screamed

↓

just before you threw yourself on the funeral pyre.

funeral threw

↓

Oh, you were such a hideous delight in that show.

delight hideous

↓

Thank you. Yes, okay.

↓

So what you're saying is, don't give up. I shouldn't give up

↓

- on my dream of being… - No. No. No, my dear.

dear dream

↓

You must give up. You must.

must

↓

It's far too late for you.

late

↓

But it's not too late to teach.

late teach

↓

Come speak to the kids. Inspire them.

inspire kids speak

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It's an opportunity to share your unique experiences.

experiences opportunity share unique

↓

- Uh-huh. - The question is:

question

↓

Will you seize it?

seize

↓

Mmm.

↓

- No, thank you. What? - Five…

five

↓

- four, three… - No, I just never wanted to be teaching…

four four-three teaching three wanted

↓

- …two, one. - No offense. What are you doing?

offense

↓

- Okay, yes. - And there you have it!

↓

A teacher is born.

born teacher

↓

There we are.

↓

Man, this is unbelievable, huh. Working at a bar? Running a bar?

running unbelievable working

↓

This has got to be, like, the greatest job ever, right?

greatest

↓

- It is, man. This is what we do. - A lot of dicking around.

dicking

↓

Hey, um, you're still, uh, living with your mom, huh?

living

↓

That sounds kind of lame.

lame sounds

↓

Yeah, well, I mean, it's the M.S. that's really lame.

lame

↓

- You know? - Oh, your mom has…

↓

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. She's doing all right though.

↓

I moved in with her to take care of her and stuff like that.

care moved stuff

↓

It's good to really get to know her before, you know, uh, she moves on.

moves

↓

Kind of a downer, that story though. Kind of a downer.

downer story

↓

What about you, man? What's your living situation like these days?

days living situation

↓

- Oh, it's pretty sweet. - I am. I'm his living situation.

living situation sweet

↓

- He lives with me. - Oh, yeah?

lives

↓

- Yeah, we share a bed. - Well, not every night.

night share

↓

That's hilarious. You know, Charlie and I used to be roomies.

charlie hilarious used

↓

- Yeah. - Yeah, yeah.

↓

- You remember that? - Oh, yeah.

remember

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Hey, you remember how you used to try to get me

remember used

↓

to play all those lame games?

games lame

↓

You know, those weird things you would want to do at night?

night weird

↓

Like, uh, Night Crawlers?

crawlers night night-crawlers

↓

- We play Night Crawlers all the time. - You do?

crawlers night night-crawlers

↓

Well, Frank enjoys those games very much.

enjoys frank games

↓

Oh. Oh. Correct me if I'm wrong,

correct

↓

but to make Night Crawlers a little bit better,

crawlers night night-crawlers

↓

you should use blankets, right?

blankets

↓

- They could be the dirt! - Exactly.

dirt

↓

You could use it as a force field or as a roaming base.

base field force roaming

↓

- It's a great idea. - Yeah. It's not a good idea though…

idea

↓

- Thank you. - …because you wouldn't…

↓

- It's an imagination-based game. - No, it's still imagination-based.

based game imagination

↓

Oh! I had an idea!

idea

↓

Dennis, remember you and Mac and you guys

dennis remember

↓

were laughing at me doing the butt dance? Yeah.

butt dance laughing

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They love that when I do it. Guys, watch me. Watch me, will you?

love watch

↓

Oh, yeah!

↓

Five, six, seven, eight!

eight five seven seven-eight

↓

Butt, butt

butt butt-butt

↓

Butt, butt

butt butt-butt

↓

Oh, Charlie, no.

charlie

↓

Give it to me…

↓

Where is this coming from… This is not…

coming

↓

This is embarrassing.

embarrassing

↓

God, this is just humiliating.

humiliating

↓

- Guys, get excited! We're doing the… - Hey, Charlie…

charlie excited

↓

Butt, butt

butt butt-butt

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You're not having fun doing it,

fun having

↓

so we're not having fun watching it, buddy.

buddy fun having watching

↓

Watch. It's like this. It's more… I don't know. Something like, uh…

watch

↓

Butt, butt butt-butt-butt

butt butt-butt butt-butt-butt

↓

Butt, butt, butt-butt-butt butt, butt, butt-butt-butt

butt butt-butt butt-butt-butt

↓

Butt…butt!

butt butt-butt

↓

Woo, woo, woo, woo! Hyah!

hyah

↓

Butt dance 2.0. Butt dance 2.0.

butt dance

↓

- Hey, Schmitty. - I'll drink to that.

drink schmitty

↓

Schmitty, you know what you got… You know what you got

schmitty

↓

that Charlie doesn't quite have?

charlie

↓

You have that "it" factor. You know what I'm saying?

factor

↓

Charisma. It's, like, you got it.

↓

Hey, you guys!

↓

Can I talk to you in the back office for a second real quick?

office quick real real-quick second

↓

I can't believe this dude. He has not changed in years, man!

believe changed years

↓

Look, you guys need to make a decision right now, okay?

decision

↓

It is either him, or it is me!

↓

- Him. - Yeah.

↓

I was gonna say him too. Yeah, him, him.

↓

Yeah. You know what, it's always been him.

↓

I don't know why I didn't see that before.

↓

I'm out of the gang?

gang

↓

- Him. - Him.

↓

Hello, everybody. Hi there.

everybody

↓

My name is Dee Reynolds, and not only

name reynolds

↓

am I a professional actress and comedienne,

actress professional

↓

uh, but I also used to go to school here.

school used

↓

What have you acted in?

acted

↓

A lot of… A lot. I've acted in a lot of things.

acted

↓

You may not have seen all of them or any of them.

seen

↓

Yeah. It's not time for questions.

questions

↓

I'll let you know when it's time for questions though, okay?

questions

↓

And the phone goes away. And the phone goes into your pocket

phone pocket

↓

or into your backpack. But not out in your fingers,

backpack fingers

↓

- because I'm talking. - Nah, I'm a'ight.

aight

↓

Yeah. Said the turkey.

turkey

↓

Uh-oh. Oh, no.

↓

Who's she? Who's she?

↓

She's somebody that'll zing you back. Right?

somebody thatll zing

↓

I'll zing you. I'll zap you, I'll zing you.

zing

↓

So just know that about me.

↓

You know, I know that, uh,

↓

you guys are 18 and you're seniors, and so…

seniors

↓

Okay, what is it that they're doing?

↓

- What is this that they're doing? - Oh, they're doing their coughing thing.

coughing

↓

- Yeah, I hear that. - All right, kids, settle down.

kids settle

↓

You can, uh, read, pull out your phones, whatever.

phones pull read

↓

They do love their phones.

love phones

↓

What? That's it?

↓

You're just gonna sit in the corner and hem away at your sock all day?

corner sock

↓

No! Where is the teacher that I knew?

teacher

↓

Where is that inspirational man?

inspirational

↓

My enthusiasm in those days was fueled entirely by the alcohol.

alcohol days enthusiasm entirely fueled

↓

Dee! Hey!

↓

- Come here. Come here. - Charlie, what are you…

charlie

↓

- What are you doing? - Got kicked out of the gang.

gang kicked

↓

What are you up to? You wanna hang out?

hang

↓

No, Charlie. I don't want to hang out. I have a job.

charlie hang

↓

I'm a teacher now, so I got to get back

teacher

↓

- to inspiring some students. - Oh, that's pretty sweet.

inspiring students sweet

↓

You want to toss some inspiration my way, you know?

inspiration toss

↓

'Cause the guys think Schmitty's all that and, like, I'm no good.

↓

- Okay, Charlie, how about this? - Uh-huh?

charlie

↓

You are good at cleaning shit out of toilets…

cleaning toilets

↓

- Right. - …and taking trash and throwing it

throwing trash

↓

into Dumpsters. So why don't you get a new job

dumpsters

↓

somewhere else doing those kinds of things and make friends there, okay?

friends kinds

↓

Okay, Dee, so are you saying get a job here as the janitor,

janitor

↓

and then you and I can be best friends?

best best-friends friends

↓

That is absolutely not what I was saying.

absolutely

↓

I'm gonna talk to the principal, see if I can get that job.

principal

↓

- Don't do that. - We'll work on the friendship thing later.

friendship

↓

No, don't do that. Charlie, don't do that.

charlie

↓

Oh, goddamn it, don't do that. This is my thing.

goddamn goddamn-it

↓

Here we go.

↓

- All right! There's the man! - What's up, buddy?

buddy

↓

- This place is pretty nice. - Yeah.

place

↓

What's going on? Are you guys gonna try to bang me afterwards or something?

afterwards bang

↓

Very nice turn.

↓

Try not to laugh too much, 'cause it's gonna… Okay.

laugh

↓

We only come here for special occasions.

occasions special

↓

- Yeah. - Good, good. What's the occasion?

occasion

↓

Well, we brought you to this luncheon, Schmitty,

brought schmitty

↓

because we want to make this official.

official

↓

- Mac, do you have the ring? - Yeah.

ring

↓

Okay, great. Um…

↓

Schmitty, we, uh…

schmitty

↓

we missed a lot of good, good years.

missed years

↓

- A lot of special time. - Yeah?

special

↓

- With you. - Thanks.

thanks

↓

And, uh… You know what? I don't think I can do this.

↓

- Okay. I'll take over from here. - Why are you being a puss?

puss

↓

- I'll take over. I'll take over. - Why's he being a big-time puss?

puss whys

↓

- I know. He's emotional. - Schmitty, we want you back,

emotional schmitty

↓

if you'll have us.

↓

What the hell is this shit?

↓

It's a sterling silver clover ring.

ring silver

↓

When we put all four of them together, it makes a four-leaf clover…

four leaf makes

↓

solidifying our bond for all time.

bond

↓

You're kidding though, right?

kidding

↓

No, we've never been more serious in our lives.

lives serious

↓

Yeah.

↓

Yeah, whatever. I don't care. Sure.

care

↓

- Yes? Yes? That's a yes! - Yeah. He said yes. That's a yes.

↓

- I'm hungry. - We bagged him.

bagged hungry

↓

- We certainly did. - Oh, food's here! Food is here.

certainly food foods

↓

Wait. Hold on. No, I didn't order yet.

order

↓

Oh, that's okay. I took care of the food already.

care food

↓

Yes. Dennis orders for us.

dennis orders

↓

That is a humongous shrimp.

humongous shrimp

↓

Well, it's 'cause it's not a shrimp, Frank, it's a prawn.

frank shrimp

↓

Yeah. And I don't like prawns, so I eat around them.

↓

- Yeah. - I'll take your prawns

↓

if you want to take my salad.

salad

↓

- Eh. - No?

↓

- Okay. Yeah. That's what I'll do. - Hey, no, wait! Hold on!

↓

Why don't you just order what you want?

order

↓

Well, Dennis kind of has the best palate.

best dennis

↓

Yeah, I have the most refined palate, Schmitty.

refined schmitty

↓

That's how we do things now.

↓

You've been away for a while. It's fine.

↓

No, no. That's not what I'm gonna do.

↓

Excuse me. Hey, come here really quick.

excuse quick

↓

Um, can I get, uh… You have linguine?

↓

Yeah, can I get linguine instead?

↓

Uh, and what do you guys want? Order whatever you want.

order

↓

- Linguine's too heavy for lunch. - No, no. What do you want?

heavy lunch

↓

- I want fries. - Fries for this guy.

fries

↓

- No, no, no. - I can have fries?

fries

↓

You don't like your salad all of a sudden, Mac?

salad sudden

↓

- All right, Dennis, I hate salad. - You hate salad?

dennis hate salad

↓

- Where is this coming from? - I didn't wanna say anything.

coming

↓

- I hate this restaurant. - Yeah, this restaurant blows.

blows hate restaurant

↓

- I'll have a ginger ale. - All right! Come on, man!

ginger

↓

- Get into it! He's into it. - Nice.

↓

I'm saying that now. Can I say that now?

↓

- What? - Hyah!

hyah

↓

Absolutely. Take it. That's yours. By all means.

absolutely

↓

- All right. - What'd you get, a ginger ale?

ginger whatd

↓

I'm a little confused.

confused

↓

Are you telling me that this photo of Bruce Jenner is your resume?

bruce jenner photo resume telling

↓

Well, when I showed up this morning,

morning showed

↓

I didn't have a formal resume on me,

formal resume

↓

so I was sort of hoping the photograph of Mr. Jenner could…

hoping jenner photograph

↓

could represent the standard of excellence

excellence represent standard

↓

I'm hoping to bring to this position.

bring hoping position

↓

I see. And you're looking for a job

looking

↓

- as a substitute teacher? - Substitute janitor.

janitor substitute substitute-teacher teacher

↓

Look, I'll clean this building so good, you're not gonna know

building clean

↓

what to do with yourself.

↓

You know what I mean? I'm not a proud man.

proud

↓

You know, I'll do the jobs that the other guys don't want to do.

jobs

↓

I'll degrade myself.

↓

I'll make a genuine ass out of myself. Yeah.

genuine

↓

Hey, look, I'll swallow that eraser whole just to prove it to you.

eraser prove swallow whole

↓

- Uh, no, no. Please. Please. - No. I'll swallow it whole.

swallow whole

↓

Oh, no, no, no, no. You don't have to do that.

↓

But I have to say, I don't think I've ever encountered someone

encountered

↓

who's so passionate about joining our custodial staff.

joining passionate staff

↓

The passion I have for the work that I do is extraordinary.

extraordinary passion

↓

It probably goes beyond Jenner.

beyond jenner

↓

- Uh-huh. - And I'm serious.

serious

↓

- I'll eat that eraser whole. - Oh, no, no, it's not nec…

eraser whole

↓

You don't need to eat the eraser to prove your point.

eraser point prove

↓

- Sure. - Uh, you have the job.

↓

- Are you serious? - I love your attitude. It's fantastic.

attitude fantastic love serious

↓

Sir, I am not gonna let you down.

↓

- I'm gonna start cleaning immediately. - All right.

cleaning immediately start

↓

- Okay. - Immediately. Uh, but first,

immediately

↓

- can I eat the eraser? - Are you…

eraser

↓

You're saying you want to eat the eraser?

eraser

↓

Well, I'm asking if it's edible, because it certainly smells of grapes.

asking certainly edible grapes smells

↓

- I don't I don't think it's edible. - Can't I just test it?

edible test

↓

I'd rather you didn't. I kinda want… I might need it.

kinda might

↓

All right. Well, you win this one.

↓

I'll pick up one of my own and I'll eat that one.

pick

↓

- In that way everybody wins. - All right, well, welcome aboard.

aboard everybody welcome welcome-aboard wins

↓

All right. All right. Thanks so much.

thanks

↓

Ridiculous. It's ridiculous.

ridiculous

↓

I mean, where the hell is he?

↓

- I don't know. - I mean what time did we say?

↓

- We said 3:00. - We said 3:00, and it's, like…

↓

- Ah. - Hyah!

hyah

↓

- Well… - What's crappenin', fellas?

fellas

↓

Uh, hey, Schmitty. Running kinda late there, huh?

kinda late running schmitty

↓

- Am I? I didn't think it mattered. - How could it not matter?

matter mattered

↓

I mean, this is the final phase of your initiation back into the gang,

final gang initiation phase

↓

so it kinda matters a lot.

kinda matters

↓

- It actually does. - Whoa. Um, where is your ring?

ring whoa

↓

Oh, come on.

↓

Well, you didn't want me to really wear that thing, did ya?

wear

↓

- Yeah. - Oh.

↓

We're sort of sticklers for that kind of thing too.

↓

- So pop that on. - I will. Okay. Sorry about that.

↓

Time and ring. Good. Got it.

ring

↓

- Okay. Oh! - Yeah.

↓

Hey, look at this!

↓

Nice setup, fellas.

fellas setup

↓

Candles? Where'd you steal these from, huh?

candles steal whered

↓

We bought those.

bought

↓

Uh-oh! When the hell'd you take that?

↓

- Don't worry about it, Schmitty. - We got to ya.

schmitty worry

↓

This is weird as hell. You guys see that, right?

weird

↓

What's weird about this? This is a men's ceremony, okay?

ceremony mens weird

↓

They have ceremonies for all sorts of men's clubs.

clubs mens sorts

↓

- Yeah, it's… - You know, the Mafia,

mafia

↓

the Freemasons, the White House.

house white white-house

↓

- The White House. They do it. - This is cool, okay?

cool house white white-house

↓

Trust me. What we're doing is very cool.

cool trust

↓

- Okay. - Mac, why don't we get started?

started

↓

You'll get it. He'll understand as the ceremony progresses.

ceremony

↓

All right, Schmitty, please have a seat

schmitty seat

↓

- in the ceremonial seat. - Yeah.

ceremonial seat

↓

- Uh, Frank, please do the candles. - I'll do the candles.

candles frank

↓

Dennis, the song.

dennis song

↓

All right, the song.

song

↓

Oh, look at that!

↓

- All right, take it… Take it seriously. - I am. I'm locked in.

locked

↓

Oh, okay, I will now begin the ceremony

begin ceremony

↓

by administering a sweet roundhouse kick to the bell.

bell kick roundhouse sweet

↓

There's a bell?

bell

↓

Step, step.

step

↓

- Uh-oh. Whiff! - I just missed that. I just missed that.

missed whiff

↓

Dude, you're not even close.

close

↓

No, Schmitty, this is all part of the ceremony.

ceremony part schmitty

↓

What is?-

↓

Watch it. Oh! No, no. No.

watch

↓

Oh, you gotta stretch before this thing, huh?

stretch

↓

- Enjoy it. - One last crack. Come on.

crack enjoy

↓

- Hyah! - Oh, man. This is pathetic.

hyah pathetic

↓

Here, dude, look. It goes something like this.

↓

Hyah!

hyah

↓

I'm excited. I am.

excited

↓

I mean, the first part of the ceremony was a little lame,

ceremony lame part

↓

but ending it with a hot air balloon ride, that kicks ass.

balloon ending kicks ride

↓

Yeah, yeah, all those things. Yup.

↓

- Frank, now! - Push, Frank, push! Go, go, go!

frank push

↓

- I got him. - Oh, come on.

↓

Frank. Come on, Frank, push him out!

frank push

↓

Well, are you literally trying to push me out of a moving car again?

moving push

↓

- Yes. - Goddamn it.

goddamn goddamn-it

↓

Pull over. Why are you doing this?

pull

↓

- I'll just pull over. Great job, Frank. - Frank, come on.

frank frank-frank pull

↓

- Tub of lard over here. - Oh, take it easy, okay?

easy

↓

Give me back the ring! All right.

ring

↓

- 'Cause you don't deserve it! - Take the ring.

deserve ring

↓

- You're out of the gang, Schmitty! - You're out of the gang Schmitty!

gang schmitty

↓

Get out! Get out! You're out! You're out!

↓

Okay. Got it. I heard ya. Nice seeing you guys again.

heard seeing

↓

Very nice meeting you.

meeting

↓

- Yeah. - Get out of the car!

↓

I heard you. I'm getting out. Okay?

heard

↓

- Now, Dennis. Peel out. - Yeah…

dennis peel

↓

Well, I was gonna peel out, and then you…

peel

↓

Don't take the steam out of it.

steam

↓

Tell people we pushed you!

pushed

↓

All right, class, feel free to text…

class free text

↓

or watch movies, whatever it is you do.

movies watch

↓

- Not today, Doc. - What are you doing, Dee?

today

↓

I am inspiring you.

inspiring

↓

Rise and shine, dickwad.

rise shine

↓

Okay, this is a great teacher,

teacher

↓

but he is wasted on you.

wasted

↓

Well, not anymore.

anymore

↓

We're gonna be rehearsing a little musical today called Frankenstein.

called frankenstein musical rehearsing today

↓

- This is stupid. - Get out. You're stupid.

stupid

↓

- What? - You heard me.

heard

↓

You get out of here, you stupid idiot.

idiot stupid stupid-idiot

↓

- It's fine by me. - Yeah, good.

↓

And anybody else who doesn't want to be here today,

anybody today

↓

you can get out now too.

↓

- Hey, you want to go to the mall? - No, no, wait. No, no, no. Okay. Stop!

mall

↓

No, come on, you guys! That's…

↓

Not everybody. Sit back down.

everybody

↓

That's just something people say. You guys are gonna love this.

love

↓

Okay, let's get started.

started

↓

"Have you seen Dr. Frankenstein's creation that they all speak of?"

creation seen speak

↓

"Nay, I've heard tales told of his hideousness.

heard tales

↓

A monster most foul."

foul monster

↓

My face composed of rotten flesh

composed face flesh rotten

↓

Roar, roar

roar roar-roar

↓

A hideous beast with deadly clutch

beast clutch deadly hideous

↓

Roar, roar

roar roar-roar

↓

Another's heart beats in my chest

anothers beats chest heart

↓

I'll never know a woman's touch

touch womans

↓

Roar!

roar

↓

And then I retreat into the mist.

retreat

↓

And, Dr. Meyers, you are Dr. Frankenstein,

frankenstein

↓

so get up here and get acting!

acting

↓

With pleasure, Dee!

pleasure

↓

Just let me set the loop and here I come!

loop

↓

Oops! That's not…

oops

↓

I am shattered to pieces!

pieces shattered

↓

Are you acting right now?

acting

↓

No, I'm not acting, you bitch!

acting bitch

↓

- I think I've broke my hip. - Oh.

broke

↓

Why is this damn stage so slippery?

slippery stage

↓

- Hey, Charlie! - Hey, there he is! Charlie boy!

charlie

↓

This floor is slippery, man.

floor slippery

↓

Whole school's slippery, 'cause I waxed it real good…

real schools slippery waxed whole

↓

with this awesome power waxer that the school provided me.

awesome power provided school

↓

I did this whole place in, like, two hours.

hours place whole

↓

- Oh, nice. - Whoa. That's impressive.

impressive whoa

↓

Yeah. Dee inspired me. She said, "You're an awesome janitor, Charlie.

awesome charlie inspired janitor

↓

You can make this whole school slippery."

school slippery whole whole-school

↓

I said, "Sure, I'll give it my best shot."

best best-shot shot

↓

Then she's, like, "Let's be best friends."

best best-friends friends

↓

And I was, like, "Sure, I'll give that my best shot too."

best best-shot shot

↓

So we're best friends now.

best best-friends friends

↓

Yeah, that's… That's quite a conversation you had with her, isn't it?

conversation

↓

Mm-hmm. What do you guys want?

↓

Oh, well, we, uh… We came to ya…

↓

because we wanted to tell you that we're sorry for picking Schmitty over you,

picking schmitty wanted

↓

and we feel like we made a big mistake,

mistake

↓

and we want you back, buddy.

buddy

↓

And, uh…

↓

we pushed him out of a moving car for you.

moving pushed

↓

- I can't do it. - Jesus, dude. What is wrong with you?

jesus

↓

All right, I'll handle it. Charlie, we have an announcement to make.

announcement charlie handle

↓

It's your lucky day. We want you back.

lucky

↓

- Yeah. - Yeah.

↓

Gotta say, that's pretty classy, guys,

classy

↓

but I wish you gave me one of these a long time ago,

wish

↓

'cause I'm a janitor now.

janitor