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Home » Tires » S01E04 — The Rumor Mill

Tires

Season 1, Episode 4 — The Rumor Mill

TMDB episode metadata
Show: Tires
Episode title: The Rumor Mill
Air date: May 23, 2024
Director: McKeever
Top billed cast: Steve Gerben, Shane Gillis, Chris O'Connor, Kilah Fox, Stavros Halkias
Will tries to build a marketing campaign for his new idea — until devastating rumors about the store's future and his reputation throw him off-balance.
Source: TMDB
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- Hi, I'm Gabe Marvis.
gabe
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I'm a licensed chiropractor in three states.
chiropractorlicensedstatesthree
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And this is my lovely wife's friend Gina, who started as my friend,
friendginalovelystartedwifes
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but that's not really important.
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Gina, we're gonna lay you down, get that lower back stretched out.
ginalower
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All right. I'm gonna creep down here to your lower back.
creeplower
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- You ready? Mm-hmm.
ready
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This will get you a bit deeper into the stretch.
deeperstretch
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That's nice.
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Already got it.
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Hey, turn this off. What is it?
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It's chiropractor videos.
chiropractorvideos
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It's totally safe for work.
safe
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Can I have more of that one?
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More? Yeah!
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Jesus, Shane!
jesusshane
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This is marketing. This is... This guy's a genius.
geniusmarketing
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He takes hot chicks, puts 'em in yoga outfits.
chicksoutfitstakesyoga
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He has no fucking idea what he's doing.
fuckingidea
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He's pressing the fuck out of these girls' butts.
buttsfuckgirlspressing
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That's what you should do. Bikini car wash.
bikiniwash
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Shane, we're not doing a bikini car wash.
bikinishanewash
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Get a bunch of chicks out here, hot chicks. Put 'em in bikinis.
bunchchicks
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Tell customers if they get a car wash, we'll give 'em a discount on tires.
customersdiscounttireswash
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That's gonna work, dude. Look at this. Millions of views.
millionsviews
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67431f41-c5ae-42e8-b7f5-c3b629e5e8da.gif
...nice and loose, and that's not uncommon.
looseuncommon
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Close it out. It is indistinguishable from porn.
closeporn
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Oh my God.
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I mean, if a customer walks in and, uh...
customerwalks
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Feels really good.
feels
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cff0ecf1-b8c3-48cf-b98e-008ff7b22cfc.gif
...sees this...
sees
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We'll loosen you up.
loosen
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463bbbff-aec9-4c91-bba8-2840a9c3cee8.gif
...they'll...
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Do you hear that? Yeah.
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- Oh wow! Deeper?
deeper
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Yeah. Yeah, deeper.
deeper
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- Want me to send you a link to it? - Yes.
linksend
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So tight.
tight
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Uh, hey, what's up?
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- Will? - Ant!
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- How you doing? Good!
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- This is Anthony. He's a gig worker. Hey.
anthonyworker
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He's gonna help me build a PowerPoint presentation
buildpresentation
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so I can pitch the cheap tires idea to my dad.
cheapideapitchtires
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And he's gonna help make some mock-up ads
mock
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'cause we wanna find a big way to market this.
market
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You have a Black friend?
blackblack-friendfriend
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Well, yes, but Ant is a graphic designer that I hired.
designergraphichired
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But you're saying you have Black friends?
blackfriends
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Yes.
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Name one.
name
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Uh...
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- Dainian. - Tomlinson?
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Chargers' all-time leading rusher LaDainian Tomlinson is your friend?
friendleading
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Okay, Ant is here to create a campaign around the cheap tires idea.
campaigncheapcreateideatires
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So we need to come up with some marketing ideas.
ideasmarketing
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Dude, tits. Bikini car wash.
bikinititswash
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Not that. You in a bikini.
bikini
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- Classy, but eye candy for the fellas. That's enough. Okay!
candyclassyfellas
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Carrying buckets like a milkmaid.
bucketscarrying
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Shut the fuck up!
fuck
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What's up, Kilah? Delivery. Taillights.
delivery
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Saw a bobcat on 202 this morning.
morning
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- Cool. - Yeah, not my first time.
cool
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Hi, you've reached Dave Louvopolis from Valley Forge Auto.
autodaveforgereachedvalley
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Please leave a message, and I'll get back to you very soon.
message
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- - Dave, it's Will.
dave
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It's the third time I've called today. Please call me back. Pronto.
calledthirdtoday
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Okay, so what do we got?
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86fb31f4-46e8-430c-a0ff-a891831b7ceb.gif
Okay, so far I came up with this. What do you think?
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Okay, that's a good start.
start
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But, uh, what about this?
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What if it's a stack of tires, and I'm digging money out of them?
diggingmoneystacktires
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So your idea is just a Jewish guy digging through a pile of money?
diggingideajewishmoneypile
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No, just don't draw me that Jewish.
drawjewish
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You want me to make another person?
anotheranother-personperson
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What?
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- He's a computer guy, not Rembrandt. - I'm just here for the day.
computer
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Shane, why would you derail-- - Will, could I talk to you for a second?
derailsecondshane
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- I'm busy! - I need to talk to you.
busy
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- Say it here. - I can't. Something I need to tell Will.
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- We keeping secrets? No.
keepingsecrets
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- If you are, I'm gonna fuck your day up. - It's not a secret.
fucksecret
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I had a dream last night, and I need to tell Will about it.
dreamnight
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I was back playing high school hockey.
hockeyplayingschool
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My mom was a goalie. She had spiders for legs.
legsspiders
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- Oh my God. Go. Go. Yeah, it was really...
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Go with him.
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This dream better be shorter than the one from yesterday.
dreamshorteryesterday
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0448a651-ef98-43b3-a608-1f6c98565352.gif
There's no dream. I just needed a way to get Shane off our back.
dreamneededshane
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You help me with something?
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616e4610-5820-4447-ab7b-c84cb0714b18.gif
No, I'm working on this PowerPoint.
working
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7136d8b9-6a04-442d-8c11-e24065d503b0.gif
Fuck that. That thing sucks.
fucksucks
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be5b5225-2548-47af-a9d8-8c448dc84b91.gif
Why don't you help me?
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7bebe619-2a5f-40f1-b752-d3fc12f30c94.gif
Is this gonna go in the PowerPoint?
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0a7ded3b-8c2d-4ccc-ac3e-dec6be4971f0.gif
- Listen, I got bad news. - Oh.
news
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I heard a rumor that they're selling one of the shops.
heardrumorsellingshops
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One of ours?
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921ef06a-a501-4e28-83f0-c5fcec827844.gif
Can you draw babes?
babesdraw
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d696e2c4-9ede-4b8f-b6ae-7b367860519b.gif
I can draw babes.
babesdraw
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But, just to let you know, I'm terrible with faces.
faces
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That don't matter none.
matter
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6fce9dd8-fae9-43c4-b1c3-5ea958123a51.gif
Which one?
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a4308033-b66c-4ec4-8f06-e947f5cf3937.gif
I don't know. I assume the worst one, which is Belmont or yours.
assumeworst
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Whoa! Ours? Ours "worst one."
whoaworst
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- Sure. - Who told you?
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916dff7f-246a-4b01-8ab5-0aa8e5be03a9.gif
Doesn't matter. It's a reliable source.
matterreliablesource
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What if I said you could spend your day getting paid to draw titties?
drawpaidspendtitties
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I'm listening.
listening
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8b3413af-3433-4e92-916c-e9dcda8369b1.gif
Fuck!
fuck
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4cdee491-48a1-4ef2-a2dd-e921bde65551.gif
Don't tell Shane, all right? 'Cause he'll tell everyone.
shane
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309618f6-95d4-4887-9fac-c701a67a13ab.gif
He's a gossip, like a high school girl.
girlgossipschool
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6b62aff1-5fb2-4c70-94f1-05c04e4a7ede.gif
- He is like a high school girl. - Yeah.
girlschool
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771e7168-375a-4a3e-a190-c703df529d84.gif
Totally. Okay, I gotta go call Dave.
dave
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7a286cf3-e19f-4e8d-82e7-5901687de0de.gif
Okay, don't say anything weird.
weird
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Are you kidding me? We're selling one of the stores?
kiddingsellingstores
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a5236077-a973-4eea-856d-c58f64366a8d.gif
From Cal I'm hearing that?
hearing
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I'm due the respect of not hearing this from a mechanic.
hearingmechanicrespect
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And, by the way, I hope it's Belmont.
hope
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It better be Belmont.
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74a503b6-672b-4789-8df1-1d71340a0d1a.gif
Because, you know, there's a lot going on here.
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ebada83e-b790-480e-b174-4063c3063219.gif
Ideas, ton of 'em floating around.
floatingideas
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a18c054c-6c51-46b5-8469-b1161dd04298.gif
Uh...
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23825b9a-fcba-4053-bdeb-b07b6af1be6b.gif
You're in trouble, buster. That's all I'm saying.
bustertrouble
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I don't mean to yell. If anybody's fired, it's fucking you.
anybodysfiredfuckingyell
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Tell my dad this.
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252ae5be-0f65-481d-af49-80ad57f22264.gif
If it's my store and it's not Belmont's,
store
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Thanksgiving's gonna be fucking nuts!
fuckingfucking-nutsnuts
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Dave, it's Will, by the way. Call me back.
dave
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cd78b0ab-5168-45a5-ad33-224636dab64e.gif
Goddamn, you weren't lying, man. You suck at drawing faces.
drawingfacesgoddamnlyingsuck
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But those tits are perfect.
perfecttits
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Thank you. A lot of student loans to make those tits.
loansstudenttits
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90447fc7-f017-4b35-9749-b543229b0c19.gif
You went to school for tit drawing?
drawingschool
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af5ee315-a2d9-4b1b-84f4-ac5167d7a475.gif
No. Finance.
finance
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00e65992-9c49-4ec5-bf89-aecb51db1a8a.gif
They kicked me out for doing shit like this.
kicked
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- There you go, buddy.
buddy
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ae576a73-6d3a-4489-a54c-8d21abaf7f2d.gif
Thank you for calling Valley Forge Automotive Center in Wayne.
callingcenterforgevalleywayne
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It's a wonderful day to be on the road. This is Jeffrey.
jeffreyroad
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Cooch, it's Will.
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df1a0e9e-76eb-403f-8617-008f885d9558.gif
- Hey, Will. - From Westchester.
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966be8ad-0477-4862-a50b-df69a93df2a5.gif
Right. Right.
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b3722fa7-e7aa-47c0-92ab-c2f64e79fbc9.gif
The boss's son.
bosss
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Oh, Will! What's going on, big guy?
↓
ccf12c3c-7d77-4d8b-9aab-985b83d10323.gif
Well, a lot. Is my dad or Dave there?
dave
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a03d8af2-cece-4dd7-8988-4426fbf22f47.gif
No. They actually popped out not too long ago.
popped
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9d060278-a379-4441-a274-9267fb27f432.gif
Where'd they go?
whered
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ca3380fa-9784-4881-b4f1-b1d564be11bf.gif
They said they were going to a meeting, and then Applebee's,
applebeesmeeting
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but Dave wanted to go to Outback because they have the full-length bathroom doors.
bathroomdavedoorsfulllengthwanted
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e9fe646a-3b65-43bf-a0a0-48c4a81c90c8.gif
Where is the meeting?
meeting
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75dbce20-0d2c-4621-b24d-fc120b5c6bff.gif
Uh, not sure. Maybe the Springfield store.
store
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19e14aa9-7e17-4ba1-ac0e-9bd554fb3cda.gif
Hey, Will, uh...
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43b49289-c6bb-4845-8ce9-fa3da159a246.gif
How much chocolate milk have you had today?
chocolatechocolate-milkmilktoday
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- Huh?
↓
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You know, it's, like, 10:00 a.m.
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cd5edf32-6b7c-4521-98e6-1ed422fdc834.gif
Must have had, like, three chocolate milks by now.
chocolatemustthree
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b07170c5-836a-460c-a4ca-841548026a34.gif
- What are you talking about? - That's your thing, right?
↓
aad4d381-6694-43dd-8d7c-f4b7c9f4adb0.gif
You drink chocolate milk all day.
chocolatechocolate-milkdrinkmilk
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859fa661-cf44-47eb-ba21-29d159309fab.gif
No!
↓
528f0f93-5c74-4b82-97f2-a9fa4e9f3423.gif
That's not what we heard, dude.
heard
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03faecb3-1fee-443b-aa51-61004426a0be.gif
I never drink chocolate milk.
chocolatechocolate-milkdrinkmilk
↓
6edbf090-470f-4a9f-bb9c-836fa4060c1a.gif
Almost perfect. I'd like to make a few adjustments.
adjustmentsperfect
↓
77488a50-4268-4894-b12b-2ff1fedc3ed8.gif
Are you spreading a rumor
rumorspreading
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19051ab3-69a1-4607-ad33-915faafe5277.gif
that I like to drink an enormous amount of chocolate milk?
amountchocolatechocolate-milkdrinkenormousmilk
↓
2edbfa5e-bfc4-43f4-b6e5-c59821b53daa.gif
No.
↓
1304c7cc-e4f6-4852-883b-7d989ab41f40.gif
Maybe. I don't remember.
remember
↓
13bf5013-de8d-463f-9142-be96b68497d6.gif
Yes, you do.
↓
92a34728-18f0-4830-ae77-4fb0eb45e0bd.gif
It's believable. Doesn't it look like he drinks chocolate milk all the time?
believablechocolatechocolate-milkdrinksmilk
↓
7ad6fcb0-7843-409a-a535-0ba443720233.gif
- You do have that look. I can see it. - Are you working on the PowerPoint?
working
↓
6eea5a89-e9e1-4f1d-aa50-ffad450eb054.gif
I'm designing a poster for your bikini car wash.
bikinidesigningposterwash
↓
945636f0-87a2-42b9-888e-996070b2a3ee.gif
Okay--
↓
981abded-332e-4877-b57b-a4361ddd3280.gif
Will, Belmont store on line two.
linestore
↓
0ad18787-8ebf-41a8-a3df-dc0dac472b9c.gif
Okay, Shane, stop wasting Anthony's time.
anthonysshanewasting
↓
43224f8a-45f2-436d-b6ae-7ce6e18ec750.gif
We are not doing a bikini car wash!
bikiniwash
↓
8c6ce472-3350-48b9-9193-91584fac7717.gif
Well done, Anthony.
anthony
↓
cd451a90-d057-4267-a05b-65b7e55a2d88.gif
Very nice.
↓
7291e511-e50e-4ef7-a64a-f17ef89b7bca.gif
I know a couple guys that would really appreciate your work.
appreciatecouple
↓
22a52d9d-9e81-4c87-920d-02f7065f250f.gif
- Get the fuck outta here. - Holy shit.
fuckholyoutta
↓
c62e6d8b-791a-495d-8ce4-4f752bdaf2c2.gif
Bros, from my mind to his fucking hands onto this screen.
brosfuckinghandsmindscreen
↓
e735187a-8d28-417b-a1d7-764eaada6b20.gif
Wait till you guys see this shit. Show 'em.
till
↓
32a1377d-6538-4497-85ba-e662164d0909.gif
So if you want 'em a little bit more busty...
↓
9ce81ec8-01ae-4ef6-8643-9ea8980aacc9.gif
If I press this button...
buttonpress
↓
c092c3dd-8b7d-4691-9cac-3e0fb8eef947.gif
Yo. - Oh my God! You're a magician.
magician
↓
c7b6aacc-57cf-4b1d-9fb7-a532d6385f37.gif
- That's unbelievable. It's crazy.
crazyunbelievable
↓
aeada0ac-57ab-434a-9e52-e4b455e17cc1.gif
I could also make Will a little bit more Jewish.
jewish
↓
9c988a2b-cd26-49ed-a8a3-a462fff91cd9.gif
- Keep going.
↓
79b1637b-c1a9-4195-84b7-706127c9c21c.gif
This is great.
↓
23cf9a9a-7328-4528-95d6-02c53865e894.gif
If you want, I can make the girls more Jewish.
girlsjewish
↓
d7d9d58a-d4df-417f-9f75-da86f4f0a94e.gif
- No, no, no. - Yeah, don't do that.
↓
7675bb4f-4b2e-4de5-85b4-c3c98015413b.gif
This is the future, dudes. This is AI.
dudesfuture
↓
bc9b47ae-9b85-4eee-a511-4bbc3bd070bc.gif
- This is AI? - This is what they're talking about.
↓
c066c91e-545b-4740-b39f-2b92d43439bb.gif
What are they so upset about?
upset
↓
2d29e65c-b7fb-465f-9700-53384eaa39c5.gif
- I don't know. It's making boobs. - Huh!
boobs
↓
ea1b28a6-4cd5-41ec-bc76-3c407d21df29.gif
What's AI?
↓
3d8f7334-6c57-4fde-9a97-b1a60e60574a.gif
Let me try that. Give it a shot.
shot
↓
84a448e8-138c-4004-b61d-964df60e23d9.gif
Oh my God!
↓
a55658e2-6714-4e37-87f1-6a732a865e44.gif
- Oh! - Go faster.
faster
↓
78f06cfd-f702-446a-b65e-e1068d17c98b.gif
I'm trying.
↓
91a57e0c-c6c1-4d7b-a8d0-65f9941397ac.gif
Oh my Lord. It's like they're on an airboat.
lord
↓
cf227029-4a86-4e90-bd9f-e364f0432047.gif
- You're so good at this. Thanks, bro.
thanks
↓
0429baa8-d122-4eeb-bdd1-2825a6112d4a.gif
Thank you for calling Valley Forge Automotive Center in Springfield, PA--
callingcenterforgevalley
↓
08ecce81-237e-45ab-a148-f8a167460ac6.gif
Okay. Sh, sh! Lisa, it's Will.
lisa
↓
9699e0e8-4728-4523-bfb4-b2f0b02c17c8.gif
Hey, Will.
↓
b0a93b99-0bb0-44ea-8cc7-a51b04a84beb.gif
Hey, are my dad and Dave there?
dave
↓
1b0b7eb9-54b6-429c-837e-b49eba4fb5ae.gif
Uh... yes.
↓
818fadde-3d7f-40d4-b5b3-cebbb47b814a.gif
Okay. Well, can I talk to one of them?
↓
e7c0679a-c410-4f0b-9811-6206d2b24664.gif
Unfortunately, they're in a meeting.
meetingunfortunately
↓
e32e2c5f-9d75-4bc9-8dce-0bbf15011b9d.gif
With who?
↓
d404dadc-6c40-4c44-b8a9-71a6c1999d4b.gif
I'm not sure, actually. A couple people. Lady and a guy.
couplelady
↓
60724f80-0f49-44a4-a0e4-1ac06238ccb7.gif
What are they wearing?
wearing
↓
a77785bb-e49f-4791-b7b6-61db6266ac45.gif
Uh, suits.
suits
↓
ea78948f-794b-4c44-9204-6845f9393aa7.gif
Business suits or casual? Or, like, khaki pants?
businesscasualpantssuits
↓
997b172c-3a73-4260-b6cd-fabc052fb760.gif
- I don't know. - You don't know?
↓
c2deb3d7-bca5-4815-9037-dc63c9679f8f.gif
Lisa, does the top match the bottom?
bottomlisamatch
↓
433a826d-10c5-43c3-bb2d-f5b1e3f77a69.gif
Yeah. Yeah, they look put together.
↓
dc731803-1ea0-4adb-8e1b-f788e32507f0.gif
Top matches the bottom. That's a full fucking suit.
bottomfuckingfullmatchessuit
↓
cd3f8525-3836-4bbd-ae58-6cf42b0eb557.gif
Is that okay?
↓
95b446ee-18ea-49bf-ab86-13d4104cd6bd.gif
Can you have one of 'em call me when they get out?
↓
2f77d92c-b89c-4591-916a-2d757c2ebaf1.gif
Sure thing.
↓
a98efa6d-8e58-4213-9a4f-4d5418832995.gif
Also, unrelated. Have you heard a rumor that I like to drink chocolate milk?
chocolatechocolate-milkdrinkheardmilkrumorunrelated
↓
fff09176-5e77-4f6d-b64c-03aa06a4658f.gif
Uh...
↓
0ebcba38-8ca9-4987-92df-0365f4ecff02.gif
- Yes. - What?
↓
424eac75-d131-4a7a-a3d4-1d1af48f5686.gif
I heard about the hospital visit.
heardhospitalvisit
↓
dfe9ad5b-4f29-4cd5-8edc-04a098ce2029.gif
I think if the doctors tell you to stop, you should. But that's just my opinion.
doctorsopinion
↓
3069517c-b1b1-40fe-9d91-5e3083f71768.gif
Doctors?
doctors
↓
9301728a-4f6a-46ba-a6c4-109e3877e449.gif
Lisa, what other rumors have you heard about me?
heardlisarumors
↓
d437eecc-d70e-4216-abe5-ae51b55f6f3f.gif
Um...
↓
f80277aa-a4e9-48cf-ba3c-8863f2bf7fd3.gif
It's okay. You can say it.
↓
0f96230a-cb55-4351-b5f1-60d2ee627c35.gif
I heard you were asked to leave the Elmwood Zoo
askedheard
↓
c1127221-41a9-44dd-b4a7-8db9b0753023.gif
because you were making donkey noises at the staff.
donkeynoisesstaff
↓
580205fd-74c2-4f70-98d9-84506c7419bc.gif
I don't know what to say to that!
↓
6b55c799-b3c8-4e01-83f4-8f893fc9f7dd.gif
Monkey noises?
monkeynoises
↓
a311c76f-9c51-4928-a3a6-0747ac2f8f8d.gif
Donkey noises.
donkeynoises
↓
f6656c48-1fc0-49aa-9790-2cb00f23a5cd.gif
That's absurd, Lisa!
absurdlisa
↓
ce84b059-d045-40b6-8745-aa603b814f73.gif
I heard you went to prom with a prostitute.
heardpromprostitute
↓
58b50e44-53bf-49f4-80ec-20943cd7885f.gif
You serious? - You kept trying to kiss her.
kissserious
↓
ec485c75-c718-44f0-a194-cb7fc6d1ae3c.gif
Shane said that he saw you and your friend at a bar
friendshane
↓
6790087d-8e78-429c-8c27-913b521f9576.gif
sucking each other's nipples,
nipplesotherssucking
↓
cb29b1c9-8b92-43bf-96da-bbb621e1c5e2.gif
but not at the same time.
↓
d12688c4-d2d7-45d5-b231-9bd952a1f4a4.gif
Shane said you were taking turns... but you were definitely the greedy one.
greedyshaneturns
↓
23ca5375-e98c-47cd-9931-ea30881b8604.gif
Fuck!
fuck
↓
bafed0c3-773b-4c7a-85a0-79cc07a38669.gif
Okay, Ant, if I give you a picture of my ex-girlfriend,
girlfriendpicture
↓
c12f9a98-4722-4342-b2bf-1d7718377113.gif
how quick could you turn this around--
quick
↓
d7e5e507-658f-4404-a08e-bab63d80d928.gif
Excuse you, everyone!
excuse
↓
bbf1c444-6b69-46ef-98b8-6f6cf5149b44.gif
What's this? I hate it. Shane, I just called all the stores.
calledhateshanestores
↓
0cf99236-659c-4c3a-a095-c85ab4cc3717.gif
Everyone heard about the chocolate milk as well as 15 other rumors.
chocolatechocolate-milkheardmilkrumors
↓
1438b3bb-ebb7-4746-8f5c-e6b0081d8e46.gif
No wonder my dad hasn't called me back if he thinks I'm at a restaurant just,
calledrestaurantthinkswonder
↓
07471c45-1775-405a-8c1c-2b8db80764a7.gif
you know, sucking my buddy's nipples.
nipplessucking
↓
9d9e9c35-24d2-41cb-8ef5-ffed0a3b15dd.gif
- What? - That one got back?
↓
0343cb80-0699-4c28-9ad4-8ee659c2b5a3.gif
- Yes! - I forgot about this one.
forgot
↓
291195af-71fb-488a-abca-229fbf77a4bd.gif
I told Dale that Will and his friends go to restaurants
dalefriendsrestaurants
↓
7bc1a00c-d4d1-4180-9cb3-28309aa39bc9.gif
and suck each other's nipples.
nipplesotherssuck
↓
119239f7-aefa-4f16-b788-7b0ebd842784.gif
Just guys going...
↓
6769af5a-8599-4416-8102-bdd82b76c8b9.gif
All right, wops!
↓
ed5435ae-4597-4a0d-94f2-7d538c2b8325.gif
- Hey! - Oh! Relax!
relax
↓
40c0ec48-7330-4138-844e-0912d1a850f7.gif
- Watch your mouth with that wops. - Why are you calling the other stores?
callingmouthstoreswatch
↓
9143a098-091f-4e09-aca0-3afa1a761a9b.gif
Is there a secret?
secret
↓
9d6800eb-e2d7-496a-92be-30e975b7c80d.gif
There's a rumor going around
rumor
↓
b9a62a34-b459-4b3a-be3f-555c8f99d10e.gif
that my dad is gonna sell the least profitable store,
leastprofitablesellstore
↓
8df11876-dbdc-4427-8a9c-896f12348f72.gif
which is either Belmont or... us.
↓
5f05b4c4-75d0-4bb0-9ab4-d5aafc7bb528.gif
Oh shit, dude.
↓
6bee85d4-ffb5-4e54-8df2-9c0d15d7003c.gif
Damn. Uh...
↓
fdff5030-790c-4ea6-8d20-3c014b9cf3c3.gif
What are you gonna do if you get fired?
fired
↓
d9a9d439-0b86-4503-900a-1e86a38b1d14.gif
We have a friend that needs a waitress.
friendneedswaitress
↓
cef4fb9f-d1ea-4dc4-a6d6-67c1ae0cfb5e.gif
Oh, Benny.
↓
0f9b0f36-00cc-4c79-b866-66937af468f9.gif
- You could work for Benny as a waitress. - There you go.
waitress
↓
017bedf9-cbdd-4866-b5a4-3bbdad66ec09.gif
- You'd be a fine little waitress. - Okay.
waitress
↓
df25b603-68c1-4f54-9eb2-319b6d336dec.gif
Waitresses are always in demand.
demandwaitresses
↓
8f62d2a9-552f-49d3-bb4b-071d12a99a9b.gif
- Everyone stop saying waitress! Shane, you can come work for us.
shanewaitress
↓
b6c2259e-e45f-4ace-a439-d55a173094d8.gif
- That'd be fun. - Huh?
funthatd
↓
ed112c3c-3e8f-4446-86d7-6e86aa857ccd.gif
- Me working for a bunch of greasy wops? Hey!
bunchgreasyworking
↓
4ea3a1eb-3eec-49e9-9b0e-f129f71cd0c7.gif
- What the fuck is that about? - No disrespect, fellas.
disrespectfellasfuck
↓
417567b5-39e7-42d8-bf29-6ee4829eca26.gif
- You're making it worse. - Oh! No disrespect, fellas.
disrespectfellasworse
↓
0e7b8cc3-2a37-4e22-9ce8-452193831a9e.gif
- That was good. - It's not bad, actually.
↓
f3190251-7ac1-4af6-bfc8-7cefb85fe644.gif
That was pretty good. - For real. Is it true?
real
↓
700d26f6-5c2d-4bd2-91ad-837f8cccc7d8.gif
I don't know. Cal told me, and he won't tell me who told him.
↓
3375d222-4835-43b4-9533-a228604a6471.gif
Cal's not telling? I'm gonna get that out of you.
telling
↓
a1d21b1d-dfa9-4893-906e-a753fa0e839f.gif
It was Kyle.
kyle
↓
7a63725f-6ac4-4c3a-9fba-2aa6f04a2191.gif
Oh!
↓
0aa70a81-330c-4e0c-a29e-096b5e7a854e.gif
It was fucking Kyle the Liar.
fuckingkyleliar
↓
309b7872-86ed-4be7-ba2f-955f558eff5e.gif
Who the fuck is Kyle the Liar?
fuckkyleliar
↓
4feb083a-e2b9-42f5-b1d3-e668806f2f43.gif
He delivers parts to all the shops.
deliverspartsshops
↓
f58832be-090d-4cfb-81ec-e607dc21ba52.gif
Yeah, who lies about everything!
lies
↓
1c3e5976-c45d-405a-a853-b01f775ab64f.gif
He doesn't lie about everything. He embellishes.
↓
abbcb03c-1aff-458e-a4b2-a401ed065a65.gif
I was on that show Double Dare in fifth grade.
daredoublefifthfifth-gradegrade
↓
c945f468-3968-4e14-b2f2-100bc6b41fcf.gif
Broke my femur in the mashed potatoes.
brokemashedmashed-potatoespotatoes
↓
95a72be7-c4e3-4491-8c91-aedf3d87b53f.gif
Did I tell you I got wasted, almost bowled a 300?
bowledwasted
↓
bb7ef3c4-17fb-479e-9c35-087cf5d1d14b.gif
Okay, Kyle.
kyle
↓
4337cc13-91f7-4336-8d9f-d3ffd4782a8f.gif
Your mom's cousin took Big Bird's place on the Challenger?
birdscousinmomsplace
↓
2c362eca-6cb2-4611-8e5e-3408dec790c2.gif
Yep. Sucks. - What was his name?
namesucks
↓
cc3b1a33-55e3-4f4d-a0cf-f2100175251c.gif
Gary.
gary
↓
8edc8e46-64f0-4131-b7a6-6be04ea9ea74.gif
- Just Gary? Cousin Gary, yeah.
cousingary
↓
26b4c4b5-ff1d-46f9-905c-830d208bf478.gif
A kid I grew up with got eaten whole by a bear.
beareatengrewwhole
↓
9a72f0f1-fd2b-4bba-9e62-c683684c3c36.gif
Oh, you know what? I did... I actually have a...
↓
c5fb885a-fb28-40ae-be01-06b423bcbafd.gif
All right. Well, just... I'll wait.
↓
ba5c2a87-a16a-4658-9c06-de301a08c074.gif
- It's gonna be a long call. - That's all right.
↓
dc9ff93f-b61f-432e-aa7b-13f8b6e505f3.gif
It's a private call.
private
↓
2b42c235-e4e8-471e-a8d9-0c80aa1b6d7f.gif
You know hard seltzers don't show up on Breathalyzers?
hard
↓
35f33fc2-bf3e-4c9a-a0e3-0f0f0ceb6b74.gif
Thank you, Kyle. Thanks.
kylethanks
↓
7a5ad79a-6d38-450a-825f-f9533f8603c1.gif
Look it up. It's on YouTube, I think.
youtube
↓
6a269e2c-c8b2-4ef6-ac76-d62560705ec9.gif
- Totally true. Swear to God. Yep.
swear
↓
4c43cd36-0f03-40cb-b2e9-fc5a27e0d171.gif
God dammit! It is bullshit! Okay. Shane, come to my office.
bullshitdammitofficeshane
↓
043c8866-0bfd-43cf-a6aa-39e4edb4ebcc.gif
Let's try that again, huh?
↓
be239ebc-841a-446d-a14f-fcb60a296aa6.gif
- Please. - Fine.
↓
f800f8ce-345e-4db8-a17e-b8f712e6b11a.gif
So these are our sales numbers?
numberssales
↓
fd1374b3-643b-427d-a806-155f18892cfe.gif
Yeah, this is everything from the last two months.
months
↓
377271a5-7bcd-48f5-87b9-d5f71ce2a181.gif
- It's just on the computers? - Mm-hmm.
computers
↓
82d28b80-b74c-4779-9cd3-ea6a84fd1833.gif
All right, this is the email I'm sending to the entire staff.
emailentiresendingstaff
↓
50378c6a-4a21-4941-9748-413f6fb5bded.gif
"I do not drink chocolate milk all day."
chocolatechocolate-milkdrinkmilk
↓
f9a9022d-12bb-4627-8187-a227bc5005c2.gif
"I do not make donkey noises at zoo staff."
donkeynoisesstaff
↓
00752871-0048-4d83-97af-c154733cfd48.gif
"I've never been part of a sex cult."
cultpart
↓
601c2b30-5505-4dc7-ba88-e3407c8bfb15.gif
"I don't suck on my friend's nipples. I've never pulled a prank on a deaf girl."
deaffriendsgirlnipplesprankpulledsuck
↓
505f1dbf-066e-4b31-9cf4-4f22a579ef45.gif
"I have all my toes."
toes
↓
3264d11c-f0bb-48db-9a5c-e7a6af2f6aa1.gif
Am I missing any?
missing
↓
20ff6e0d-8dc0-47ea-9eca-a8ecb677f8ce.gif
You taught a parrot how to say the N-word.
parrottaughtword
↓
a7c8aa30-50d7-4328-a50c-20c3f913f2fb.gif
God dammit.
dammit
↓
e9a158ca-dc16-42bc-a0bb-fef34a4e5725.gif
"These are rumors about me and should not be believed."
believedrumors
↓
d64ed912-edde-4ca4-9359-d005452c77d3.gif
"I'm emailing all of you in the hopes that we can move forward professionally."
forwardhopesprofessionally
↓
5dfcee85-3757-4dc7-8b16-a9df08f5e02b.gif
"In the future, I hope that you would learn to ignore the rumor mill,
futurehopeignorelearnmillrumor
↓
2db05f2c-1ace-4c96-940e-583177d48ec3.gif
especially when those rumors come from Shane."
especiallyrumorsshane
↓
0b07ec20-2cfe-4f33-b0f8-6ee48e41e19a.gif
Don't include my name.
includename
↓
967a1155-c909-424d-bd63-8cc2ece6d826.gif
- Sent.
sent
↓
ccb42245-b9c2-4fb1-9276-31bfccd9b786.gif
- Can you compare our sales to Belmont's? - Yeah.
comparesales
↓
06438dac-2cd5-427a-a5e9-0f9f7a771fd6.gif
Oh, we're killing them.
killing
↓
18496250-1143-4e8d-b451-fa65fc0cb063.gif
Yeah, but they have lower overhead.
lower
↓
3f4affe9-b540-43c2-946f-0534599495a4.gif
We can see all the other stores?
stores
↓
c4020879-3f9c-466c-835b-54fa8fdac6be.gif
Yep. Everything is right here.
↓
d3049498-a36f-4bfb-8061-dc2ae0be3c19.gif
- Can I try? Yeah, go ahead.
aheadgo-ahead
↓
a37df11a-fc19-4826-b684-32fda3cb90a0.gif
Will, you got Dave on line two.
daveline
↓
78ba92cb-97fc-4bf2-aa2a-779d2ffd90d2.gif
Dave, sorry I called you a bunch of times. I thought the store was closing.
bunchcalledclosingdavestoretimes
↓
32ae7f3d-6b1f-4002-a93b-b1f2fbf92756.gif
Will, yeah.
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First of all, the email you just sent went out to all 7,000 customers
customersemailsent
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on our email list.
emaillist
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W... w... wait a second.
second
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- What? - Look, I don't have time for that now. Um...
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I just want to let you know
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we ended up taking a meeting with Marilyn's Mufflers this morning.
endedmeetingmorning
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Is my dad selling my store?
sellingstore
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Just an informational meeting.
meeting
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No one's selling anything. He's just doing his due diligence. Um...
onesselling
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But if we were to sell, it would be the entire chain.
chainentiresell
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- Not just your store. - It'd be the entire chain.
chainentirestore
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So
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it would be all of us.
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Look, don't worry about it, buddy. It's all good.
buddyworry
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But, Dave, I have a great new idea I wanna talk to you about.
daveidea
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I know. I know it's probably a great idea, but the important thing is not to panic.
ideapanic
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We will talk about it for sure.
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Don't be worried. Do I seem worried to you?
worried
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A little.
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I had never heard that rumor about the parrot until right now.
heardparrotrumor
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- He's never heard the N-word one. - That was a new one.
heardword
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Shane...
shane
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No! My goodness!
goodness
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Okay, if we have any chance of generating sales
chancesales
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from this cheap tire idea, we need to do it right now.
cheapideatire
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Dude, I know you don't wanna hear this right now.
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Bikini car wash.
bikiniwash
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It's gonna work, dude.
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We get a long line of cars. Get some babes in here.
babescarsline
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Maybe get you dancing on their hood. Then we bring 'em in.
bringdancinghood
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We say, "Hey, you need new tires." They can upsell 'em from there.
tires
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You can show 'em that your fucking idea works.
fuckingideaworks
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He's got a point.
point
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You'll definitely get a lot of cars.
cars
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You have no idea how furious my dad would be.
furiousidea
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Yeah, but who gives a shit, dude? You just said they're selling everything.
givesselling
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Might as well go down swinging,
mightswinging
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covered in suds, tits everywhere.
coveredtits
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Go like a man, dude.
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Let's do it.
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There it is. Say yes.
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Yes.
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Yes? - Yes.
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Thank you, dude.
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- Tits. - No, I'm not doing that.
tits
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Tits...
tits
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Tits, tits,
tits
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tits, tits, tits,
tits
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tits, tits, tits, tits...
tits
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Tits, tits.
tits
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Yeah! - Yeah!
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Bikini car wash. It's a go.
bikiniwash
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♪ Me and my friends In a hundred-dollar Volvo ♪
dollarfriendshundred
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♪ Busting down the street While cruising Alvarado ♪
bustingcruisingstreet
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♪ Getting fucked up on the 101 ♪
fucked
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♪ Shootin' our guns and having fun ♪
fungunshaving
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♪ I drink cheap beer ♪
beercheapdrink
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♪ So what? Fuck you! ♪
fuck