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Home » Tires » S01E03 — Sales Contest

Tires

Season 1, Episode 3 — Sales Contest

TMDB episode metadata
Show: Tires
Episode title: Sales Contest
Air date: May 23, 2024
Director: McKeever
Top billed cast: Steve Gerben, Shane Gillis, Chris O'Connor, Kilah Fox, Stavros Halkias
To beat Belmont's team in sales and win a gift card, the shop draws in customers with an oil change special, but Will's upselling attempts fall short.
Source: TMDB
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Well, fellas, I told you we had a plan to bring in new customers.
bringcustomersfellasplan
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I think we did a good job.
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Honestly, I like Will's tricking women idea better.
ideatrickingwillswomen
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That wasn't the idea.
idea
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But I agree with the tone.
agreetone
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Dave, this is gonna attract the worst customers.
attractcustomersdaveworst
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It's going to attract customers though, right?
attractcustomers
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And then it's your job to upsell them once they're in the door.
door
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What if we did a... a, uh... a special--
special
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Will. Will.
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Your little lesbian discount kind of blew up in all our fucking faces.
blewdiscountfacesfuckinglesbian
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- Let me do the thing. - That wasn't the idea.
idea
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We can all agree the idea was to get lesbians to buy stuff.
agreeidealesbiansstuff
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- That was the idea. - Only lesbians would've responded.
idealesbiansrespondedwouldve
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Continue, Dave.
continuedave
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Now, to incentivize you guys, we're gonna make this a contest.
contest
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Gonna get the competitive juices flowing, show some fucking pride.
competitiveflowingfuckingjuicespride
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You versus Belmont, our other incredibly shitty store.
incrediblyshittystoreversus
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And the winner gets a $300 gift card!
cardgiftwinner
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That's pretty nice.
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Is it a full $300? 'Cause sometimes there's, like, a fee
fullsometimes
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when you use it.
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Cal, I mean this as respectfully as possible.
possiblerespectfully
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I think you spent too much time inhaling exhaust fumes,
exhaustfumesspent
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and I don't need you throwing out any comments.
commentsthrowing
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Copy that.
copy
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Normally I'd say you guys are fucked in any kind of competition,
competitionfuckednormally
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but I think you got a pretty nice shot at this thing
shot
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'cause Belmont's like fucking Fallujah right now.
fucking
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You see how loud your brakes are? You need the brakes!
brakesloud
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- I don't want them! - You want them!
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I don't!
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Whoever's got the Honda, I'd love to work on your car,
lovewhoevers
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but there's a tuna sandwich in there. It fuckin' stinks!
fuckinsandwichstinkstuna
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All right, fellas. Well, listen.
fellas
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Good luck.
luck
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I believe in you.
believe
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I'll call you later.
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Well, this blows.
blows
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We gotta get that card.
card
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Yo, Dave. Hold up.
dave
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I can't believe you still drive this.
believedrive
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Dog, this is like a lighthouse for waitress pussy.
lighthousepussywaitress
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I get so much head in this car.
head
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You get head in it?
head
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Oh yeah. - No, you don't.
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Can I help you with something?
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Yo, are we closing? Is our shop shutting down?
closingshopshutting
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What?
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No, man.
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Yeah, the discount. The big fucking discount.
discountfucking
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That's what happens at stores that are about to close. We're closing?
closeclosinghappensstores
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Look, Shane, I can't divulge specifics
shanespecifics
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on the economic health of the Valley Forge Automotive Empire,
economicempireforgehealthvalley
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but... if there was a time to start caring,
caringstart
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it's now, my man.
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You wanna watch me peel out?
peelwatch
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Yeah, absolutely.
absolutely
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Fuck yeah, dude!
fuck
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You don't get fucking head in there, dude!
fuckingfucking-headhead
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Yes, I fucking do!
fucking
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Hi. Welcome to Valley Forge Auto.
autoforgevalleywelcome
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- Hey. - What can we do for you today?
today
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Um...
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He's here for an oil change.
change
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- He's here for that oil change. Oil change. Got it.
change
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Is there anything else the car might need, or...
might
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Just the oil change.
change
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Okay. Well, can I just have your key, and then...
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Thank you, and, um, we'll get it in the system,
system
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and then I'll get one of the guys to start on it very shortly.
shortlystart
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Well, ma'am, uh, I wanted to talk to you...
maamwanted
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Hello, ma'am. I wanted to talk to you...
maamwanted
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Or, actually, your... your uncle,
uncle
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or, uh, grandfather? Father?
fathergrandfather
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Who is he?
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Anyway, I wanted to talk about his vehicle.
vehiclewanted
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Hello, ma'am. I wanted to talk to you about the maintenance--
maammaintenancewanted
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What are you doing?
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Just rehearsing.
rehearsing
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That was...
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It sounded good.
sounded
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Thank you?
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I think you're doing a great job.
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- Thanks. W... what are you doing? - I think we can beat Belmont today.
beatthankstoday
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Okay. Yeah, we can beat Belmont.
beat
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- No, we need to. We need to win. - I know. What's gotten into you?
gotten
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Nothing. I just want the gift card. Look... it is important we win this.
cardgift
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Yeah, I know.
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If you're gonna hit my penis, just hit my penis. Get it over with!
penis
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We're good. We're fine. We're good. We're good.
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Of course we're gonna be all right.
course
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All right.
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Hello, ma'am. I'd like to talk to your...
maam
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What the fuck was that?
fuck
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Hey, has anyone, uh, helped you out yet?
helped
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Whoa!
whoa
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You're a big guy.
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Yeah? Like, in a good way?
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- Yeah. - Hell yeah. What do you need?
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Uh, oil change.
change
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- Yeah, I can... I can do that for you. Awesome. Cheap.
awesomecheap
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It's quick too.
quick
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- Not too quick. No?
quick
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It'll be quick. I'm just... Yeah.
itllquick
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- Here. Take the keys. - Did you see that reflex?
keysreflex
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That was pretty good. It's impressive.
impressive
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...jumbo pool in the backyard. I am sick of the kiddie pool!
backyardjumbokiddiepoolsick
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Damn it. Look, you gotta stop putting that shit on your lips
lipsputting
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because every time you drink my soda, all I can taste is bubblegum.
drinksodataste
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- You're such a fucking complainer. - I'm not a fucking complainer.
fucking
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All you do is complain!
complain
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Fucking-- - Hello! Welcome to Valley--
fuckingvalleywelcome
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Yo, what's up?
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16f78b16-d62a-4ea6-8c88-98470c8c9e39.gif
So the cheap oil change. 9.95. That's all I need.
changecheap
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All I need is the oil change. Nothing else.
change
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Don't try and upcharge me on some bullshit like an air filter
bullshitfilter
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or a goddamn moonroof or anything like that. Just the oil change.
changegoddamn
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Okay. Well, we'll bring the car in,
bring
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look it over, make sure it doesn't need anything else.
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- It doesn't. - You don't know that.
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I do know that. I work on that car all the fucking time.
fucking
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I just don't have the oil.
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Is that your blue Hyundai out there?
blue
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Yeah.
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It's smoking.
smoking
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Yeah, man. It needs oil, okay?
needs
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- Okay. Keys.
keys
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Grab a seat, preferably as far away...
grabseat
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Maybe if you wanna wait outside. It's nice weather.
weather
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Okay. So let's game-plan this out.
gameplan
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I personally think that the best customer to upsell
bestcustomerpersonally
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would be the Chinese pair.
chinesepair
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And I'm pretty sure that they're Chinese because I thought I heard some Mandarin,
chineseheardmandarin
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and I took two years of Mandarin in high school.
mandarinschoolyears
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- You speak Mandarin? Just a little bit.
mandarinspeak
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Let me hear it. - No.
↓
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You gotta practice before we go out there and use it.
practice
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Okay. I would say something like, uh...
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That was fucking good, dude.
fucking
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Right? It's not bad.
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What else do you know?
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I can also do "Happy Birthday." I can sing "Happy Birthday."
birthdayhappyhappy-birthdaysing
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768c117a-b009-47e7-afc7-e7109ffaccc3.gif
See, you can't...
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dddbb438-6593-40a3-89aa-91e40fc608f5.gif
I can actually speak a little Japanese myself.
japanesespeak
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Oh!
↓
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Godzilla!
godzilla
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Don't come in here again. We're tired of you, Godzilla.
godzillatired
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You keep ruining all our stuff.
ruiningstuff
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Shane... Okay.
shane
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5b6fd8c7-6935-4c76-b0f4-bcfb61dca57d.gif
If you... Yes--
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3c381390-41c1-436b-abb5-aa277898659c.gif
I don't think... Dude, for real, the best one is the MILF.
bestmilfreal
↓
233283a6-5241-420c-9736-b6607326ab26.gif
- I'm not writing "MILF." - Write "mature naturals."
maturemilfwritewriting
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She's ready to go. That's an easy sell.
easyreadysell
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And then there's white trash, which we could just all agree on.
agreetrashwhitewhite-trash
↓
8112e9ee-24df-4390-ab5c-2eb86ced2eb6.gif
Yeah, that's trash.
trash
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7ff22029-d81b-45ee-a0bf-02a6063bdcbf.gif
Okay. They're the worst. They are a nightmare.
nightmareworst
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- But talk to me about-- - Trust me on this.
trust
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- She has a vibe. I'll give you that. She has a very sexual vibe.
sexualvibe
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c8804683-98d9-41cc-aea3-30c1f6610364.gif
You should have seen it. I walked out there. She was like...
seenwalked
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483e81dc-6eab-4757-98c2-4f814c859678.gif
She was like, "Holy shit, you're fucking huge." I was like...
fuckingholyhuge
↓
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- Did she really say that? Something like that.
↓
b545eeda-2df0-467f-ad7f-688835a66ad5.gif
She will respond to sexual energy if you can bring it, dude.
bringenergyrespondsexual
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3c7f3026-1c85-4c21-b6c0-27d034f68dbe.gif
You got a shot at this.
shot
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- Kilah saw it. Am I wrong? - Yeah.
↓
935004aa-56e1-4549-9c1b-4e76c253cd99.gif
Women like her respond to sexual energy.
energyrespondsexualwomen
↓
97c4713d-5532-49c0-bedf-2c9dd89f4c4e.gif
She's horny as fuck.
fuckhorny
↓
8d6aee5c-2591-4592-b07e-b20a0ab760ba.gif
Got a work order. That lady needs an alignment.
ladyneedsorder
↓
e72bc07e-d05f-45a6-8ffe-18a1f6346cf8.gif
Oh, okay.
↓
f5779f99-95f9-49eb-8bc0-ddc57d5aaa97.gif
What's that?
↓
fd17833d-7930-4da4-8e24-a52325db0e92.gif
Will called a meeting to show us all his porn searches.
calledmeetingporn
↓
35284f04-ba7a-475a-8396-73505234b58d.gif
Shane! We are just game-planning.
gameplanningshane
↓
0a228e56-ae4f-4614-9756-8ed186975abe.gif
Oh yeah, throw stepsister on that.
throw
↓
3ac4ab2c-62a2-49fa-bf21-169f245a2d45.gif
I'm trying to tell Will to flirt with that lady.
flirtlady
↓
61e7fa21-c0e4-4801-82bf-5965a41da6bf.gif
- I don't think you're fucking with me. - I'm not. Let me see it.
fucking
↓
9c282460-d0ff-4614-b430-25b2b2cb4e67.gif
I'd be like, "Hey, we had a look at your car
↓
f971c01f-94f8-4931-9dc2-c23e9116f723.gif
and noticed that the tires are a little, uh...
noticedtires
↓
8d9d2cd1-33cd-430d-a147-9c20f49da5d9.gif
a little smooth on the outside."
smooth
↓
fce76559-7044-41f4-9b35-2e36b7c80de3.gif
- Ooh! -"And, uh, we gotta do an alignment."
↓
2a8e35ca-2c13-4ddd-9bbb-8823b3a7895d.gif
- Bad boy energy. Yeah.
energy
↓
f665f047-c174-4cb2-a709-e6e7a7476ef1.gif
Nothing we can do about it. Back up?
↓
591f0509-552a-438d-b72b-f58aaca45af6.gif
Dude, you're gonna get me hard.
hard
↓
12b8ba46-d903-4a12-b819-e5d3baf3fce8.gif
- Just be confident, not sexual. I can do it.
confidentsexual
↓
c979aaa3-a20f-422b-821e-83367ca6806c.gif
I don't know if you can do it.
↓
e13976eb-5b8f-419e-9a3f-6efca6ae48c8.gif
You think I don't know how to sell with sex? Watch this.
sellwatch
↓
2c3afe28-7402-4534-b7b6-40460acb7a9c.gif
- Ew! - Shane!
shane
↓
b03356a5-a249-4345-a5b0-080c696478ea.gif
Hey.
↓
8d0729bb-e94c-4de5-a4f6-b0af6ecf8e99.gif
Technician had a look at your car, and we're gonna have to do an alignment.
↓
fc04e76d-65e2-46a2-b4d9-ff666a68c794.gif
Okay.
↓
c323b118-cb30-41a4-a7aa-5d079c9247a5.gif
And...
↓
1fd16262-e47a-40a3-9206-0743140b40a4.gif
if you want, I can go around back and top your fluids off for you.
fluids
↓
a0646920-2e8b-4480-9918-24eb945e8e14.gif
What?
↓
8e52ad76-f7ed-476d-b292-6869cd846e42.gif
I was just... I could top your...
↓
46978c4e-c39c-41d8-8317-23f603a2024f.gif
You know.
↓
154ae6ed-5e6b-4f88-91cb-95d6ccd13437.gif
You clicked at me?
clicked
↓
e56a6153-1588-40bf-b30c-e3b60bc05662.gif
And what is that face?
face
↓
88c41e6c-26bb-40f1-ad5d-c35abd5d87b6.gif
No, there's no face!
face
↓
50ace9f8-821a-478d-8513-0d1b38239658.gif
- Were you making a sexual pass at me? - Ma'am, no! Sir, private conversation!
conversationmaampassprivatesexual
↓
789ccb0c-5d37-4eb4-8db1-82fa800b7911.gif
- He was making a sexual pass at me, right? - I was not!
passsexual
↓
0e2c1e57-eed9-4c7f-a4ce-8427728aa814.gif
- If clicking did exist, it was-- - I wanna talk to your manager.
clickingexistmanager
↓
7a65a1c7-67ce-4212-83e3-ab5f669871b4.gif
Well, I am the manager.
manager
↓
9d248d63-1472-4502-b7e8-7feebf0eb81d.gif
- So what's going on over here? Nothing! Good luck with that.
luck
↓
a4fc1194-ce7e-4412-8d5d-344de38643ca.gif
Who was the big doof at the front desk?
deskfront
↓
b3724e07-7c3e-4982-a107-6ac99ec821e9.gif
What? No. He just said that he had a lot of sexual energy with you--
energysexual
↓
ce702944-8e21-40a7-af40-e122c949af07.gif
- Oh, really? Yeah.
↓
9e2df792-1c47-4fc1-9478-622eb5c27ced.gif
Sexual energy?
energysexual
↓
22e89327-aa15-452d-a75a-a8241c7d3f66.gif
I don't want the alignment. I don't want anything about it.
↓
895a7ee7-e109-4961-a1e4-88d0e34504cf.gif
Give me the keys. I'm getting out of here.
keys
↓
eba0c362-42cb-4668-9c57-c0497e7f4d92.gif
- W... wait!
↓
2c1b8fc6-b75f-4d9d-a80e-14ae2a98a05b.gif
Oh fuck.
fuck
↓
721e7631-135c-43a9-ada4-3b1eaa2e25bb.gif
You fucked up, dude.
fucked
↓
bfa09f4f-e8be-4763-b900-7daa1b8ecb79.gif
This is bad. She wanted me. I don't know what you did wrong out there.
wanted
↓
60e09fae-0625-495e-84c2-bfe02ae6f3d5.gif
I guess we can go ahead and cross off "mature naturals."
aheadcrossgo-aheadmature
↓
e47e6fff-3623-4a79-8223-3c1d510e52de.gif
She's out. I could've had her.
couldve
↓
80342e25-7d04-4bc2-b9e2-77de591fe919.gif
I was reeling her in.
↓
246d4be0-233a-47ed-bcb7-83d8b4023f72.gif
You couldn't get it, could you? I went, "Whoa! Hold on there, tuna!"
tunawhoa
↓
d3f472ee-496d-45a5-a606-93e4bd25e3b7.gif
I would've fucked that lady. You blew it.
blewfuckedladywouldve
↓
eca323dd-e079-499c-b5dc-d07b58c201a6.gif
I didn't blow it. I saved you. That was a crazy lady.
blowcrazyladysaved
↓
aed6b277-0950-4677-9549-d6768265ab57.gif
Crazy ladies are the best, dude.
bestcrazyladies
↓
bf09c5a2-a7e5-417d-84d1-0d897a82f3dc.gif
I would've brought her back here, cleared this desk off. "Come here."
broughtcleareddeskwouldve
↓
49dc9c85-0fab-4261-ae63-fb6b37394abc.gif
"Oh! Jesus! No one's ever done this!"
jesusones
↓
f095658f-80ac-4870-98a0-7a50d1b4e406.gif
"Oh, fucking hell."
fucking
↓
d7c6597e-6dfa-42f2-bccc-4776f189ac72.gif
"Oh, you're gonna make me fucking jizz."
fuckingjizz
↓
6bcb9052-f892-4768-8623-b9a24dacb11f.gif
"Oh shit, lady!"
lady
↓
80f95417-35fb-4c65-8fe9-f09634498677.gif
Anyway...
↓
8aecf952-41b7-43ee-b0bf-e8747781deb3.gif
Chinese.
chinese
↓
0a9a6390-e3bd-4f0a-b1c0-7fcd05083564.gif
I think I should move on and just take care of the white trash now.
caretrashwhitewhite-trash
↓
65123858-f93c-4b77-a41f-c8117af4cdcd.gif
No. That's gotta be Kilah.
↓
49676b3c-785f-4a91-95bb-912b6ce74c09.gif
Got a better chance of speaking Mandarin than white trash.
chancemandarinspeakingspeaking-mandarintrashwhitewhite-trash
↓
8b5ac8ba-f22f-46b8-b1f6-c253a818507a.gif
- Kilah's fluent. - Is that right?
↓
80f4271c-3741-4847-a907-cc8e5aac160c.gif
You know how there's a frequency only dogs can hear?
dogsfrequency
↓
90472cc9-c159-4a64-9a56-4a2d614d72f0.gif
That's how she is with white trash shit. Try it. Get her attention.
attentiontrashwhitewhite-trash
↓
f9b3cd8c-e1f1-4b36-842c-d7c7b3eb6fe0.gif
Kilah!
↓
4de2a50a-1cb9-4477-8cb8-4f0b330afa9c.gif
Nothing. Watch this...
watch
↓
0a4be008-7446-460a-abf2-f98f6c3a1885.gif
Oh fuck! I spilled coffee Coolatta all over my scratch-offs.
coffeefuckscratchspilled
↓
a3fab11f-9240-4130-90b6-faa22c205dab.gif
She's gonna do great out there.
↓
5e774cb3-9507-4b29-90c9-dba5965c8763.gif
You focus on Chinese.
chinesefocus
↓
04eabbc6-2725-479e-9ab5-34c7d03e7c75.gif
The problem is...
problem
↓
ce1db110-ce38-4402-ab45-80fb673288ff.gif
Chinese people don't use gweilos as their mechanics.
chinese
↓
5cbc0fb7-aaee-4c5d-9739-5688dc87fc04.gif
They usually use other Chinese people.
chineseusually
↓
c8348fd2-87c4-4ba8-abc2-dfc6e7195f99.gif
Unfortunately, we don't have any Chinese mechanics.
chineseunfortunately
↓
ce16cbbe-f139-4d69-9ed6-98237b4fcab1.gif
But we do have...
↓
3dd0269e-ff48-413f-ae0f-b2e0fb2989fc.gif
I don't normally talk to customers.
customersnormally
↓
9c37257b-eecf-493f-b63d-d643cbb9b343.gif
I know that's been the rule for a while, but I'm gonna break the glass
breakglassrule
↓
269e8052-c6c6-4f57-9b3e-81a161d4e2bb.gif
because... I think you would really help me sell to this Asian guy.
asiansell
↓
f9d3aba9-6068-49b5-860b-b83f37442526.gif
Why now?
↓
b86561cf-7f11-4158-a016-6476e4f7223e.gif
You have a vibe.
vibe
↓
fbc5fa8d-045e-4dd9-befa-b80445afc376.gif
I have an Asian vibe?
asianvibe
↓
d76c61e2-40dd-41e8-8e80-288b1051e86c.gif
You're tranquil, Cal.
↓
5b96c37d-607b-4fce-bec3-e3d6da2887c6.gif
Okay, I'll help you on one condition.
condition
↓
bfde64a4-be10-4f40-ad83-8b2a081a61c8.gif
No Chinese.
chinese
↓
d6711f17-930b-4226-a19a-1e973bdb3150.gif
- Yes, Chinese. - You don't need it.
chinese
↓
293866c5-7163-44a1-8943-66d6c724462a.gif
Chinese is the whole thing. That's not a good idea.
chineseideawhole
↓
15e29bea-c673-4cc8-aacc-96215f1ecfd9.gif
Not good.
↓
a39bb1d1-52dd-4e39-a550-984ec0243b05.gif
No, just explaining the work is the whole thing.
explainingwhole
↓
e579d366-42d5-4274-98ff-d3c1e5afed96.gif
Just tell me what it needs. - It needs struts.
needs
↓
bd929ea7-4173-4da4-bacb-77fba01daf71.gif
Do you know how to explain struts?
explain
↓
ddd22a0b-74f1-4a1e-9048-f354b074d4da.gif
We took care of the oil change. The oil change is done.
carechange
↓
c9604e8c-cd58-4bed-8cc5-8726eb8f5f0b.gif
I noticed that your struts are a little worn out.
noticedworn
↓
b06fcd16-410f-4132-b441-4a1acabc9664.gif
You'll want to get those replaced.
replaced
↓
943945f7-4c52-4a44-a31e-c8978c995b53.gif
You're probably experiencing a little bit when you're driving,
drivingexperiencing
↓
b9aecd89-8036-4951-ad96-a78986cd53b0.gif
bouncing like you're on a jet ski
bouncing
↓
5e172b79-4a65-48be-9eac-d70642737af5.gif
'cause it's affecting the way your tire makes contact with the road.
affectingcontactmakesroadtire
↓
80822900-9f3c-469f-9e0c-da264ab52688.gif
If it gets a little slippery out there, it's gonna be a real mess.
messrealslippery
↓
05157164-d0af-4b17-bb6c-07e9f529fa67.gif
Oh, ma'am. Ma'am?
maam
↓
20adb915-c444-4230-a8bb-cea6ef5a3b46.gif
I... I think what he's saying is that the struts are very dangerous
dangerous
↓
488a5ab9-7c8f-4fb1-ace8-c5216025da8f.gif
and need to be replaced.
replaced
↓
5bbb572f-535d-439e-a3d2-1e9a270c2a4c.gif
Could you translate that?
↓
297e6121-9b0d-4112-9bf3-4eaefdbe27f1.gif
Oh... oh...
↓
2bb6ec06-44f7-45c1-9110-b84ebc78e5d9.gif
I'm sorry, uh...
↓
ce4dbada-37d9-4430-9f9c-d7d17c9f6672.gif
You just... You did this.
↓
647d9a7a-0da8-4bcf-aef3-08f889a03c61.gif
- No, I didn't. Yeah, you did this.
↓
40f4d8c8-2a6d-48a5-8747-71ab7997952b.gif
And I... I didn't say anything where you would do this while saying it.
↓
43dd55ac-01c2-41bd-8ba6-1218b33651f5.gif
I think it's more like "dangerous, dangerous."
dangerous
↓
fd2556d1-f922-4f61-b0e3-4dfc11c070f3.gif
So, I mean, maybe try again. Take two.
↓
867eff3b-56ee-401f-9101-8e4a9d6d181b.gif
Dangerous. You know, 'cause... boom-boom, boom-boom, smash!
boomdangeroussmash
↓
6e9037de-8e32-4df6-8296-bf24d1f142ab.gif
Oil change!
change
↓
81756cc7-3ae0-4dd8-8396-34d604d92cc4.gif
Just the oil change, please.
change
↓
4121474e-ba1f-4ea7-9655-320720831bf0.gif
Listen, I think we might have gotten off on the wrong foot.
footgottenmight
↓
dadeb6c4-ab1f-4f31-bbf6-d24ea03f4d18.gif
Here's something that might sort of impress you a little bit.
impressmight
↓
a2469308-1426-4337-90c1-3e69e13b3431.gif
I speak a little bit of Mandarin.
mandarinspeak
↓
53646e32-d669-452e-92eb-8d6b971845ff.gif
Don't do that.
↓
aee5af64-e266-411a-95be-829166187644.gif
- Does anybody have a birthday coming up? - What?
anybodybirthdaycoming
↓
1d63ded3-2893-46e5-9dcd-11706cc724d5.gif
You fucked that one up.
fucked
↓
464b09c8-be7d-4ea5-9967-159dc52663f3.gif
Ever since you sex-harassed my beautiful MILF, we're down 95 bucks.
bucksharassedmilf
↓
232551b3-a2f4-4db9-815d-d7c22485e525.gif
And probably a pretty awesome sexual experience.
awesomeexperiencesexual
↓
85a8dd6a-c364-4d1b-8a18-79ae45a05ee6.gif
We are in a bit of a pickle.
pickle
↓
aa5f1aca-2fdf-412a-a0fb-044016745c7d.gif
How do you think Belmont's doing?
↓
6b7812a5-d065-4a2d-bda1-e07ed99670d3.gif
Valley Forge Belmont.
forgevalley
↓
42e5f8b2-f0c6-468f-8a5e-ac09d9d09a7d.gif
Hey.
↓
26821a21-8f8a-4808-a0e1-79af004e8ba9.gif
Hey, Will.
↓
108fcc1a-5e67-41ed-acda-4cd6b1655371.gif
What's up?
↓
0b63cc50-efd0-4f8b-bf0b-19896164baa6.gif
Nothing. What's up with you?
↓
de3999de-19a3-4734-a886-2568f8c4390f.gif
You sell something?
sell
↓
de56aaaf-2be9-49aa-b478-4d43c8de815e.gif
Yeah, we sold some stuff.
soldstuff
↓
8fa668c0-d446-4ee0-bc50-a6ef669b8e14.gif
Us too.
↓
2919da2a-180f-4ff3-a1f9-1a4abb9c4334.gif
Will, that gift card is ours.
cardgift
↓
f95077cf-3d2b-4a9f-b750-9707a445c1b1.gif
- You understand? - So what have you sold?
sold
↓
ad9d4d52-2133-42dd-b452-70ed6bb74ca0.gif
What did I sell?
sell
↓
98e633e9-26b3-4c64-ad82-0aa8c2b1fa0d.gif
Brakes, rotors,
brakes
↓
70a66dd3-e228-4bb9-a53f-cc13f4b8cac0.gif
windshield wipers.
windshield
↓
8252e6db-1f52-410b-ac50-cc9b97757846.gif
- They didn't sell that. - You didn't sell that!
sell
↓
8395d7dd-6517-44ee-ae28-3bc44a045484.gif
Who's that? Shane?
shane
↓
9ebb5b60-1d63-436f-81df-b070ecdd2b7d.gif
- Fuck you, bitch! - Fuck you. Tell him fuck you.
bitchfuck
↓
34c7d20b-9ac3-4373-a388-f1c9dbb31938.gif
Are you sitting there on your computer,
computersitting
↓
addaabdd-3be3-4aec-a0d4-fc299add5c2d.gif
Shane's in your ear, being fat?
↓
3372b4b1-e7ca-414e-8154-eafd8e283805.gif
You're being a pussy? I don't have time for it.
pussy
↓
2950cd3d-cd5f-49cc-a045-ab65f776b6e1.gif
I got a garage full of cars, and they all need work.
carsfullgarage
↓
33cdaa90-ace3-4a5f-addd-051370254715.gif
- You wish! - You wish!
wish
↓
b7e0b3d5-35e3-4b71-ab20-9f550974ba9c.gif
We're gonna take that gift card and go to Red Lobster.
cardgiftlobster
↓
f5e8ef0c-48d9-49de-967a-0366f3f6d7ad.gif
We don't give a fuck. We're going to Red Lobster.
fucklobster
↓
eef0931f-8bd8-46ae-9fca-4c609ef44f4d.gif
- We're going to Red Lobster! - No, we're going!
lobster
↓
33df055b-b204-4a14-a736-e9ceba979670.gif
- No, we are! - We're going to--
↓
37ad8583-3c01-4be1-8dd8-3b986c8fe95c.gif
To be fair, Chipotle. But, I mean, you get the tone!
fairtone
↓
9162bf03-0992-4db0-906a-bf68f510665d.gif
Yeah, Chipotle is good. The guys here love Red Lobster, so...
lobsterlove
↓
1a777c50-3774-417b-8378-662f7cd79c96.gif
- The fuck you talking about? - Hey, Will. Listen to this.
fuck
↓
c51c09c2-ee64-40b2-a28c-0f6c54ba21eb.gif
Fucking prick.
fuckingprick
↓
466474be-9388-4730-8361-6196e64a5451.gif
This is bad.
↓
54e2d62c-b21d-41f2-a559-29f14357d2e1.gif
Come on, god dammit! We gotta win this thing!
dammit
↓
005e5444-1e9c-4b94-a077-651dc44d10e7.gif
I'm gonna go sell to... I'm gonna go sell to the white trash.
selltrashwhitewhite-trash
↓
07e889a8-8592-4cd6-a025-51c13fcafe5a.gif
You can't.
↓
695dcafa-5038-46b3-a197-83b9ef91bce1.gif
That's a horse only Kilah can ride. They'd fucking hate you.
fuckingfucking-hatehatehorseridetheyd
↓
d11b1bd0-e096-465d-8b78-3705c4827861.gif
Me and Kilah are gonna sell it to these people.
sell
↓
9330cbe2-2c85-4606-82fc-355732dc703c.gif
All right. Well, you gotta get pumped up. Do you have a song that pumps you up?
pumpedpumpssong
↓
3b4b20f6-8e28-47fd-9fe3-38b82677dc75.gif
I'm not gonna listen...
↓
540d97eb-ddd8-4e10-a2c5-39382f41c73f.gif
Do you listen to music before... What do you listen to?
music
↓
66308934-2487-4905-b648-a93390807173.gif
Pirates of the Caribbean theme song.
caribbeanpiratessongthemetheme-song
↓
ce6ae534-cca5-4606-8598-aabdfd77cc72.gif
Goddamn.
goddamn
↓
33534c24-5635-47e5-bedc-9f78c4c896f7.gif
Adventure on the high seas? Give it a listen.
adventureseas
↓
ebaa75d5-5996-402c-a610-36aef4469bca.gif
Yeah, your brakes are fucked. And that squealing you hear?
brakesfuckedsquealing
↓
7f66d225-001d-4148-83b2-e1d9929bbfc6.gif
It's called the rotors, and those are also fucked.
calledfucked
↓
61393bcb-2cb2-4aed-9d4e-87cee264bb1c.gif
Don't I know you?
↓
eb3d485e-b462-4415-b744-7d8651114c4d.gif
One moment.
moment
↓
c488c944-4d45-4a22-a933-026257f589bf.gif
I definitely stabbed this girl's brother in high school. I gotta go.
brothergirlsschoolstabbed
↓
1c79c933-5721-4f50-b211-3e7f6d2f6d71.gif
- You can't. It was me.
↓
9f185e5f-367f-414f-96b1-5b35c0b6fefc.gif
- I know it was you. - Excuse me, folks.
excusefolks
↓
8099e0a2-ac72-4c09-bd4c-ff90ac24c34f.gif
I gotta go take a poop.
poop
↓
e50749be-8eb5-4dc8-ad7a-ed84d5c8da74.gif
Fuck.
fuck
↓
685f986b-99ca-4554-9c0a-d552f56cb26f.gif
Yeah, I'm not paying for rotors, dude.
paying
↓
d6b631ff-f8b7-4cdb-ad5a-6ccdddf8875a.gif
Okay. Look, your inspections are gonna be due soon.
↓
969119f3-1164-4aee-bc5c-c099057f5f1f.gif
You got a taillight out. You'll never pass that.
pass
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67cc46b1-4ad5-4bb4-9553-7b30ccef0427.gif
I don't give a shit. Just change the oil, man.
change
↓
c76b7dd1-0191-42cc-bc93-3318a7f49d8d.gif
You got kids?
kids
↓
e8c7d7ff-6e34-4187-9079-7c812edba8c0.gif
I noticed a lot of baby pictures on the keychain.
babynoticedpictures
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af419883-dc23-419f-b849-ddc42e732ad7.gif
My sister's kids.
kidssisters
↓
f82f8b05-2ac9-4f79-a28b-becd851a6e4e.gif
Oh...
↓
5bbadee5-d413-4e07-b138-be49ef0e361e.gif
- They're cute. Yeah.
cute
↓
2d694d41-115c-4644-9c0d-7962252db7ea.gif
Well, if for some insane reason that woman left her children with you,
childreninsaneleftreasonwoman
↓
289fbd77-e1e8-4b23-9779-6c42cc07de6b.gif
you're gonna want the car to be safe, honestly.
safe
↓
2ac123af-f712-4ce7-bc05-87afe1d1682d.gif
Oh, that's really nice.
↓
cf975217-cba5-4382-91f6-5381343d1676.gif
What are you gonna do? Suck his dick?
dicksuck
↓
bc770c4d-8b03-4a4d-90c7-32ab13847c55.gif
All right.
↓
73b93143-a713-4706-bb49-1c5970b35616.gif
A little heads-up. It's gonna take 45 minutes.
headsminutes
↓
1a922656-c730-4dc9-a58a-241a2c4be429.gif
Okay, fuck off, Darren.
darrenfuck
↓
dcad3a6b-1088-4650-89d3-333412a9b762.gif
I'm gonna level with you. I saw the pills in the car.
levelpills
↓
0ebf2464-60c2-4b55-810e-e99e4f891774.gif
I don't care. That's fine. The reason I didn't bring it up
bringcarereason
↓
3f84e72f-02f4-41d8-a04f-74a13f57743f.gif
is 'cause Kilah would be chewing through the dash to get them.
chewingdash
↓
fd144b5a-1828-40fa-9d4a-e2a15272dfeb.gif
It is her.
↓
78a602dd-e6a1-4266-acea-7be68c1f16d1.gif
Look, dude, fixing a taillight's 30 bucks. That's all it takes.
bucksfixingtakes
↓
8cc0f220-9059-422b-a7cd-4860377a47f1.gif
You can get pulled over for not having a taillight. Imagine.
havingimaginepulled
↓
d4cc906d-4c9b-428e-b9a2-c1507d9a3162.gif
You get pulled over. Cops take all your fucking pills.
copsfuckingpillspulled
↓
3701dee1-4bcd-450d-bc0f-101d33e2cef0.gif
Now you gotta hang out with her sister's kids, pill-less?
hangkidslesspillsisters
↓
6e7b603b-5b73-46a6-bc93-db680ea15b3e.gif
- I... I...
↓
bac0a7a0-c71a-4844-9887-f347d3bf67e5.gif
Do the fucking taillight.
fucking
↓
2e39b601-2621-4917-a7f1-fa240638cc8e.gif
- And the brakes. Do them too.
brakes
↓
4b315de2-d1ad-4b85-bab4-bfff42193df9.gif
It's gotta be safe.
safe
↓
f5661831-65a0-430e-a980-eeda60168524.gif
Ugh!
↓
b531bbaf-bb9c-4ea8-8c20-8694f4430b1e.gif
Jeez, Will! What the fuck?
fuckjeez
↓
cf1efcd3-6881-4c2e-a8c9-f8fddbf6ec1a.gif
I'm so sorry, Kilah! I thought you were out smoking!
smoking
↓
76c31180-8a6d-42ac-bd3c-a86ae460ac07.gif
It could have shattered on me!
shattered
↓
8cb26d45-b6e0-43c1-a038-faa83632df8f.gif
The one time you're working!
working
↓
4e38127f-3aae-4452-9049-70dada8db662.gif
- Are you okay? What do you think?
↓
45ac1aa0-544d-4884-8345-151b35bdd5b8.gif
I'm never gonna hear the fucking end of this.
fucking
↓
db63e90e-1b9f-4b51-a971-06a9fbfaa1a4.gif
Yo.
↓
7fc5253d-187f-4090-a942-364f956c42a2.gif
You fucking lost.
fuckinglost
↓
84cc438c-8287-498d-a779-9c46a7e77025.gif
Little Willie couldn't get the job done. They sent the big dog to make the sale.
salesent
↓
aa71d261-736d-4dae-a838-6652d5afedb0.gif
Uh... that'll be 250 total.
thatlltotal
↓
95eda475-0fbf-4d37-9756-c978371a86d8.gif
...fight the other day. That's crazy.
crazyfight
↓
844d23ce-3972-47e2-a51d-f5d2c7ebca0a.gif
- Run that. Okay.
↓
aba694b3-f2cf-45ce-b4b2-851b4ab16357.gif
Uh, I'm gonna go to the bathroom real quick.
bathroomquickrealreal-quick
↓
1d19aaa9-6b26-4dff-a236-f47b92f517ac.gif
I don't care.
care
↓
04f5dc4e-9e1d-408d-a0de-d043b5cf5451.gif
Boom. I'm the only one that got a sale today, dude.
boomsaletoday
↓
e061d3e0-ce3b-483e-9319-0b741ee55aaa.gif
I get to decide where the gift card goes.
carddecidegift
↓
d05f4cf7-7d3b-451c-82fe-015f01c5174e.gif
I get to divvy up that money, bitch!
bitchmoney
↓
c62da947-afa1-472e-9cdc-fa68583aa0a8.gif
That's what the fuck I thought.
fuck
↓
fa6f4faa-5aba-47b2-baeb-15c24bad5fab.gif
Oh fuck!
fuck
↓
1ae61eb3-4775-445c-bd44-34e965d1bd8e.gif
He gave me a Dave & Buster's gift card.
busterscarddavegift
↓
6aaa65a2-1195-4ce0-aa64-6b746a49c4d7.gif
- What the fuck? - Well, how much money are we down now?
fuckmoney
↓
117ddd4c-01f6-4dc9-8d49-78785c84761a.gif
That's, uh,
↓
487f85a6-6ac0-4cac-9683-fc6b43e776ef.gif
negative 425.
negative
↓
941f6bb8-7de1-4d38-92b9-2abbbec5008a.gif
Jesus.
jesus
↓
019c2af9-cef1-4c18-aca0-9db3d185abef.gif
We're fucked.
fucked
↓
ddcd4730-2e58-46d9-ba2e-f47602f4ac7a.gif
God, what a stupid initiative!
initiativestupid
↓
41509693-8414-4b04-ab68-fe94b8cf6581.gif
You gotta get rid of these tires, dude. It stinks in here.
stinkstires
↓
23556adf-126b-4752-9bd3-6ac1a3c8e50b.gif
Yeah, I know. It stinks.
stinks
↓
d83381ef-b2f4-4130-89a5-f56f91082ffc.gif
Just sell 'em for, like, half off or something.
halfsell
↓
c77412a8-c8dd-48eb-9b27-2482ce91f563.gif
See, that's actually a good idea.
idea
↓
77964647-dcde-48ef-a901-5719bfc4f371.gif
Because when people come in
↓
fbce5b14-ef26-40fa-81b7-4ea829b2dc9a.gif
for cheap tires, they're still spending, like, $600,
cheapspendingtires
↓
44a3dbe8-c0a7-4052-9f99-6eea63d78512.gif
and that's a lot easier to upsell.
easier
↓
e5a8f150-2056-4055-bb7c-07d46a372bbf.gif
While we had the tires off, we did notice brakes.
brakesnoticetires
↓
751361b4-0539-45b6-b019-598eb83d096a.gif
They're already spending that money.
moneyspending
↓
221d54ed-5e6f-4d9e-bae0-11c90df99cbd.gif
- Okay. - Great. I'll get the guys on it.
↓
317fcf23-3c6b-49a9-875e-3aea7c01ee15.gif
- Thank you. Thank you.
↓
c22b8759-2de6-4d8f-ae80-0cfedbab2f80.gif
We shouldn't do cheap oil. We should do cheap tires.
cheaptires
↓
bab54fdf-cba3-44db-9aed-38e6d5c59335.gif
- That's not bad, dude. - Right?
↓
9a0f88b1-9692-4776-a5bc-2c5672ea7b4d.gif
I like it.
↓
55f535a6-0ad6-488b-a7b5-cd8847516a01.gif
It's a good idea!
idea
↓
68c71069-5988-4539-ad03-3c704d9cd006.gif
- Hey. - Hey!
↓
8e413e6b-b183-4196-8020-7070e53b98c8.gif
Excuse you! Ma'am!
excusemaam
↓
facc4edb-51d3-4167-8670-832b6f559e1c.gif
Hey, you.
↓
8b1b96e1-0cf5-48d4-8430-3240f29f3189.gif
Let's fucking go! Hey!
fucking
↓
8513d702-69a5-4d59-8bca-f975830efd20.gif
Fucking... go!
fucking
↓
e26eb8a6-7bf7-4ca0-abb7-ce903d4defc8.gif
- Fuck. We lost her again. My goodness! This is the exact...
exactfuckgoodnesslost
↓
e0e8a790-e29c-4408-aefb-7a200043415c.gif
See? We can't deal with that.
deal
↓
34170ac6-a197-4051-874a-bcede0f6868f.gif
That sign's gotta come down!
signs
↓
278f2340-e830-4dcc-9675-4003e174ad1b.gif
Kilah!