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It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
» S11E06 — Being Frank
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Season 11, Episode 6 — Being Frank
Oh, where am I? Oh.
#1
⇓
Oh.
#2
⇓
Where am I?
#3
⇓
Oy, I made it home.
#4
⇓
Oh, God.
#5
⇓
Ah?
#6
⇓
Where am I supposed to be?
#7
⇓
Oh, shit, look.
#8
⇓
Shit. Okay.
#9
⇓
Get up.
#10
⇓
Oh, I drank too much.
#11
⇓
Where's the toilet? Where's the toilet?
#13
⇓
Okay, Frank.
#15
⇓
Pull yourself together, get to the bar.
#16
⇓
Okay...
#17
⇓
Still got it.
#19
⇓
- It's only a backup. - You're gonna be fine.
#21
⇓
If everybody sticks to the tasks that I've carefully tailored
#22
⇓
for each of you, then you're gonna be great.
#23
⇓
- Everything's gonna work out. - Shit.
#24
⇓
Frank, do you know what's happening?
#25
⇓
Mmm, play it cool, play it cool.
#26
⇓
Uh, Dennis, I know what's happening.
#27
⇓
My God.
#28
⇓
So what?
#29
⇓
Well, if we were just asking if everybody knows what's going on,
#30
⇓
- I wanna say that I do. - I wasn't asking.
#31
⇓
- That's not what's going on. - He didn't.
#32
⇓
- That's not the thing. - All right, you know what?
#34
⇓
- Let's go over the blueprint, okay? - Yeah, the blueprint.
#35
⇓
I want everybody to map out their positions, specifically.
#36
⇓
All right, here's your chance to catch up.
#37
⇓
Look at the blueprint. Listen to the vain one.
#38
⇓
He knows the deal. What's his name again?
#39
⇓
Is it Damon? No, Delroy.
#40
⇓
No. DeMarcus.
#41
⇓
Why can't I thinkof his name today?
#42
⇓
Shuke.
#43
⇓
I... I think he justexplained the plan.
#44
⇓
- So, I think we're good. - Yeah.
#45
⇓
Frank, you ready to run us all through it again?
#46
⇓
Shit. Deflect. Deflect.
#47
⇓
Shut up, bird.
#48
⇓
Don't ask him to run us back through it. He knows the plan. All right, good.
#49
⇓
- So we're good. Let's do it. - Yeah, Frank...
#50
⇓
- Let's do it. - Nice save, Frankie.
#51
⇓
Like, your timing...
#52
⇓
You're so funny every time.
#53
⇓
Frank, what? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Where you going, man?
#54
⇓
Right, yeah, emergency.
#56
⇓
Right, okay, and you have your walkie, right?
#57
⇓
No. Yes.
#58
⇓
- Great. - All right.
#59
⇓
All right, let's do it. We'll be in touch.
#60
⇓
Ah, shit!
#61
⇓
Gotta get home. Got to get that walkie.
#62
⇓
Starving.
#63
⇓
Oh, what's that?
#64
⇓
Pondy. Ha, ha!
#65
⇓
"Let's party." Ha.
#66
⇓
Sorry, Pondy. Can't.
#67
⇓
Old tits. He's saying I'm old.
#68
⇓
Goddamn it, Pondy's the coolest.
#69
⇓
L... O... M?
#70
⇓
Yeah, "M." Stupid phone.
#71
⇓
Ah, shit. Probably Asians.
#72
⇓
Oh, walkie, walkie, walkie, walkie. Where?
#73
⇓
Where the hell did I put that thing? Where the hell is it? Ah, shit.
#74
⇓
I'll get... There it is. Okay, got it. I'm here.
#75
⇓
Keep the line clear, you idiot. Over.
#76
⇓
- Roger that. - Stop talking. Over.
#77
⇓
Well, well, well.
#78
⇓
Goddamn it.
#79
⇓
I hate this slimy bastard.
#80
⇓
Where's the rent, Frank?
#81
⇓
In my pocket where it's gonna stay until you fix the plumbing.
#82
⇓
You're playing games with me, Frank.
#83
⇓
I don't like games.
#84
⇓
You know what I like?
#85
⇓
This sandwich.
#86
⇓
It's snake meat.
#87
⇓
Snake meat?
#88
⇓
Oh, is that what you people eat?
#89
⇓
Yeah, snake meat.
#90
⇓
I hope you choke on that
#91
⇓
and die, you piece of shit.
#92
⇓
Oh. Oh, shit. He is choking.
#94
⇓
- You son of a bitch. - Frank?
#95
⇓
Give me that goddamn thing.
#97
⇓
Snake meat, huh? Hmm.
#98
⇓
Oh, went down the wrong pipe.
#99
⇓
Now I'm choking.
#100
⇓
I don't want to die looking at you, you savage.
#102
⇓
Shit. Ooh, shit.
#103
⇓
I'm checking out.
#104
⇓
Somebody throw me in the trash.
#105
⇓
Where am I?
#106
⇓
Where am I? Oh.
#107
⇓
Am I dead? Huh?
#108
⇓
Am I in hell?
#109
⇓
No.
#110
⇓
I died and went to heaven.
#111
⇓
Oh, come to Papa. Let me have 'em.
#112
⇓
Rest up now. You're in the hospital.
#113
⇓
Everything's okay.
#114
⇓
Mr. Reynolds, you're a very lucky man.
#115
⇓
If it weren't for that choking fit,
#116
⇓
we would have never been able to run tests, and...
#117
⇓
We found something. You have a very serious disease,
#118
⇓
but fortunately, we caught it just in time.
#119
⇓
- There's a malignant tumor... - Oh.
#120
⇓
- Look at those Winnebagos. - ... on your front lobe...
#121
⇓
Shabooya roll call.
#122
⇓
I would like to take a ride down the Grand Canyon
#123
⇓
in those honeys. Whoo.
#124
⇓
Which sadly means,
#125
⇓
- we might have to remove it. - Huh?
#126
⇓
DENNIS Frank. Frank, come in. Over.
#127
⇓
Oh, shit, I got to go.
#128
⇓
Sir, sir, you shouldn't be running anywhere.
#129
⇓
- Your condition may be terminal. - Out of my way.
#130
⇓
Wait, please, sir,
#131
⇓
whatever you do, don't...
#132
⇓
Frank, Frank, come in. Over.
#133
⇓
I'm on my way.
#134
⇓
Ah, shit. I need a ride.
#135
⇓
I bet Pondy will pick me up.
#136
⇓
Party mobile's here.
#137
⇓
Hop in, Frank.
#139
⇓
Aw, goddamn it, Pondy's the coolest.
#140
⇓
It's official, Frank. I divorced that cheatin' bitch.
#141
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Yeah, I mean, I cheated on her, too,
#142
⇓
but who's keeping score, right?
#143
⇓
Anyhoo, I got a nest egg to blow,
#144
⇓
so that whore can't touch it.
#145
⇓
Let's rage.
#146
⇓
Hey. Here. Take an aspirin.
#147
⇓
That ain't aspirin.
#148
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It ain't aspirin.
#149
⇓
Does Frankenstein want to come out and play?
#150
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I'm sorry, Pondy. No drugs for me today.
#151
⇓
- I need to keep my wits about me. - Lame!
#152
⇓
- More for me. - Frank.
#153
⇓
We're outside the bakery on 6th Street. Where the hell are you?
#154
⇓
Pondy, I need the car. Solo.
#155
⇓
Roger dodger.
#156
⇓
I'll just drop myself off at the roller rink, you know?
#157
⇓
Get some strange. Hop in, baby.
#158
⇓
Pondy is the coolest.
#159
⇓
Rock you like a hurricane
#160
⇓
Oh. Dumb bird got a boot on her car.
#161
⇓
You're right, I'm wrong, okay?
#162
⇓
- Get in the car. - God. Where the hell have you been?
#163
⇓
Don't blame him. He's not the one who got a goddamn boot on his car.
#164
⇓
Whose car is this, anyway?
#165
⇓
- What? - Aw, we're all over the place, man.
#167
⇓
What are we doing in this car? No, no, no. We're good, we're good, okay?
#168
⇓
Except why aren't we moving yet, Frank?
#169
⇓
All right. We're good. Let's huddle up, you guys.
#170
⇓
- Let's review the plan. - Okay, listen.
#171
⇓
- Pay attention. - Okay, so, Frank,
#172
⇓
you're on guard dog duty.
#173
⇓
Dee, Charlie, and I are gonna distract the guard.
#174
⇓
Mac is tossing the rug over the barbed wire and sneaking in.
#175
⇓
- Yeah? - I'm still lost.
#176
⇓
Uh, one problem. We're gonna need a new rug
#177
⇓
- because I threw it clean over. - What?
#178
⇓
- Wha... Oh. - Oh, Jesus, dude.
#179
⇓
- How'd this happen? - You only had to drape it
#180
⇓
on the barbed wire and climb over the fence.
#181
⇓
I'm too strong. I'm sorry, Dennis.
#182
⇓
"Too strong." Okay, well, you know what,
#183
⇓
What's plan B here? Does anyone know?
#186
⇓
There is no goddamn plan B. I don't know.
#187
⇓
- We'll go distract the guard. - Yeah, yeah.
#189
⇓
- Let's get a look at the schedule. - Let's go.
#190
⇓
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's a good idea. - Just got to figure out what's going on.
#191
⇓
Hey, Frank?
#192
⇓
- Do you think that Dennis hates me? - What?
#193
⇓
I just want him to think that I'm cool, you know?
#194
⇓
And I just feel like... Is this a little bit lame?
#195
⇓
I just feel like I can talk to you about this kind of stuff.
#196
⇓
- Yeah? - Oh, yeah, you can tell me anything.
#197
⇓
Really? Oh, well,
#198
⇓
honestly, I just feel like...
#199
⇓
Oh, God, this one creeps me out.
#200
⇓
I hate being alone with him.
#201
⇓
You know what I mean?
#203
⇓
- Yeah, yeah. Totally, totally. - Yeah, okay.
#204
⇓
Well, look, if you could just casually,
#205
⇓
- What is that, fudge? - ...I think he'll respect me.
#207
⇓
- Whoa, whoa. Dude, what are you doing? - Mmm.
#208
⇓
Those are dog treats laced with sleeping pills.
#209
⇓
Those are for the guard dog.
#210
⇓
- Tasty. I'm gonna keep eating it. - Maybe I could just hop the fence...
#211
⇓
- Mmm. - ...you know? I mean...
#212
⇓
Oh, shit. Oh, shit. I knowwhere there's another rug.
#213
⇓
- I know where I can get a rug real quick. - What?
#214
⇓
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
#215
⇓
Are you sure you can drive, dude?
#216
⇓
Out of my way, creep.
#217
⇓
Franklin, thank you for coming.
#218
⇓
Hey, I got no time for swapping loads. I'm in a jam.
#219
⇓
Whoa, Jews.
#220
⇓
What is this?
#221
⇓
We're sitting shiva, for my Aunt Joyce.
#222
⇓
Come, meet my family.
#223
⇓
That dog stuff is kicking in.
#224
⇓
Ooh-hoo. Shabooya roll call.
#226
⇓
Oh, shit. There's the rug.
#227
⇓
Under the buffet table.
#228
⇓
Mom, Dad,
#229
⇓
this is my part-time lover, Frank Reynolds.
#230
⇓
Whoa. Starting to feel woozy. Say something smart.
#231
⇓
Excuse me,
#232
⇓
I'm full of dog poison.
#233
⇓
That's not good. That's not good, Frankie.
#234
⇓
What's happening? What's happening?
#235
⇓
What's happening?
#236
⇓
Come on. Come on, Frank. Frank.
#237
⇓
Hello, Frank.
#238
⇓
Artie.
#239
⇓
Got to get the rug. I'm getting a rug.
#241
⇓
There are drugs
#242
⇓
- in the medicine cabinet. - What?
#243
⇓
There's drugs in the medicine cabinet.
#244
⇓
Uppers, uppers, uppers, uppers.
#245
⇓
Jackpot.
#246
⇓
Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah.
#247
⇓
Ooh. Crush it.
#248
⇓
Crush it, Frankie. What are you gonna do?
#249
⇓
Oh, slowing down.
#250
⇓
Need uppers.
#251
⇓
It's Frankenstein.
#252
⇓
Frank? Frank?
#253
⇓
- Rug, rug, rug, rug. - Hey, are you okay?
#254
⇓
Get out of the way, Jew.
#255
⇓
- What's happening? - Out of my way.
#256
⇓
Hey.
#257
⇓
Back off.
#258
⇓
What's going on?
#259
⇓
- Rug. - Frank.
#260
⇓
Car. Come on, come on. Come on.
#261
⇓
Don't get killed, don't get killed.
#262
⇓
Watch the car, watch the car.
#263
⇓
Get in the car.
#264
⇓
Get out of here, you mutt.
#265
⇓
Heya, kid. Balloon.
#266
⇓
Food. Got to get a hot dog. Hot dog, hot dog, hot dog.
#267
⇓
Ow, hot. Hot.
#268
⇓
Need booze. Gotta flush it out. Gotta flush it out.
#269
⇓
Booze, booze, booze.
#270
⇓
Got to flush them out.
#271
⇓
I'm coming. Oh, sick. Oh, sick.
#272
⇓
Get outta here.
#273
⇓
That's better.
#274
⇓
Got to modulate, Frankie.
#275
⇓
I'm coming, Pondy. I'm coming. I'm coming.
#276
⇓
Don't worry about it, Pondy.
#277
⇓
I'm coming. Where is he?
#278
⇓
Pondy? Where is he? Where is he?
#279
⇓
- Whoa. - Keep that engine running, Frankie.
#280
⇓
- Screwed up, Frank. - What did you do?
#281
⇓
I got handsy with some pretty young thing.
#282
⇓
I mean, she looked 18 to me. I don't know.
#283
⇓
I'm out of control. Oh, shit.
#284
⇓
Pop the glove compartment, Frank.
#285
⇓
No, Pondy. No.
#287
⇓
Give me that gun. You got too much to live for.
#288
⇓
You're right, Frank. You're right.
#289
⇓
Everything's gonna be okay. Everything's gonna be okay.
#290
⇓
Come here.
#291
⇓
I'm coming, Pondy.
#292
⇓
- Eat shit, Daddy. - Oh.
#293
⇓
- He's getting his ass kicked. - Get out of my face, old man,
#294
⇓
before I kick your ass and throw you in that trunk.
#295
⇓
I gotta think of something tough to say.
#296
⇓
Nice nips, cupcake.
#297
⇓
What's happening?
#298
⇓
Oh, shit, that bald bitch knocked me out.
#299
⇓
I'm in the trunk, aren't I?
#300
⇓
How long have I been in here?
#301
⇓
Still got the gun.
#302
⇓
Oh, shit. Oh, shit.
#303
⇓
Oh, shit. Where am I?
#304
⇓
Oh, shit. I'm at an impound.
#305
⇓
Pondy's car must have got towed here.
#306
⇓
Oh, my head, is...
#307
⇓
Oh.
#308
⇓
Huh.
#309
⇓
Oh, is that the gang?
#310
⇓
Why are they dressed like cops?
#311
⇓
Hey. What the hell are you guys doing?
#312
⇓
Frank? Frank.
#313
⇓
- He's in there. Come... - Frank.
#314
⇓
- We did it. - What?
#315
⇓
We didn't know when the guard was on break.
#316
⇓
- Awesome. - You did it. You did it, man.
#317
⇓
- Okay, okay, now go get Dennis' car. - Yeah, go on.
#318
⇓
That... Get Dennis' car?
#319
⇓
Hey, your name is Dennis.
#320
⇓
What the hell are you talking about?
#321
⇓
Dude, get my car before the guard comes back.
#322
⇓
- Go. - Okay, I'm on it. I'm on it.
#323
⇓
- Goddamn rug. - Oh!
#324
⇓
- Uh-oh. - Big spill.
#325
⇓
- Oh, are you okay, man? - Are you all right?
#326
⇓
- You all right, Frank? - You all right?
#327
⇓
Charlie, you there? Oh, yeah, yeah. I know.
#328
⇓
- Your glasses are right in front of you. - Where?
#329
⇓
Yeah, yeah, yeah, go, go, go, go.
#330
⇓
Faster, Frank. Faster.
#331
⇓
- Where? - They're right there. Right there.
#332
⇓
Oh, shit.
#333
⇓
Run, run, run, run, run, run.
#334
⇓
Run. Run, run, run, run. Frank. Run, Frank.
#335
⇓
Eat flesh, you mangy mutt.
#336
⇓
Come on,
#337
⇓
thinkof something cool to say.
#338
⇓
Anybody need a ride?
#339
⇓
Come on.
#340
⇓
That's right. Frankie, number one.
#341
⇓
Nice, Frankie. You came through.
#342
⇓
Oh, crap. This one's gonna sitin the front.
#343
⇓
I hope he doesn't try to touch me.
#344
⇓
- Don't touch me! - Oh, shit, dude, I'm sorry.
#345
⇓
Think of something. Think of something good.
#346
⇓
Dee's a bird.
#347
⇓
She is a bird.
#348
⇓
- She is a bird. - That's nice.
#349
⇓
She is a bird.
#350
⇓
She's totally a bird.
#351
⇓
You getting in there deep, Frank?
#352
⇓
Oh, yeah.
#353
⇓
Whoo! What a day, man.
#354
⇓
What a day.
#355
⇓
- Yeah, it sure was, Charlie. - Tell you, though.
#356
⇓
Great work, bud. You killed it, really.
#357
⇓
Aw, thanks, Charlie.
#358
⇓
When you got a good plan, you stick to it.
#359
⇓
- Piece of cake. - Yeah.
#360
⇓
All right, well... I guess, we should go to sleep.
#361
⇓
- We've got a big day tomorrow. - We do?
#362
⇓
Yeah. With...
#363
⇓
You're just messing with me, aren't you?
#364
⇓
Oh, you know exactly what we're doing tomorrow, don't you?
#365
⇓
Of course, I do.
#366
⇓
We got the thing with the thing. Uh, the thing.
#367
⇓
- Yeah, we probably should go to sleep. - Yeah.
#368
⇓
- All right, well. - Hmm.
#369
⇓
Could go to sleep, or, uh...
#370
⇓
...we could play one quick game of night crawlers.
#371
⇓
You down for that?
#372
⇓
I knew you would be.
#373
⇓
- All right, let me get the blanket. - Okay.
#374
⇓
Darkness falls.
#375
⇓
And magic stirs.
#376
⇓
Oh, it's stirring, it's stirring.
#377
⇓
As we become...
#378
⇓
the creatures of the night!
#379
⇓
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