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Home » Silicon Valley » S01E01 — Minimum Viable Product

Silicon Valley

Season 1, Episode 1 — Minimum Viable Product

TMDB episode metadata

Show: Silicon Valley

Episode title: Minimum Viable Product

Air date: April 06, 2014

Director: Mike Judge

Top billed cast: Thomas Middleditch, T.J. Miller, Zach Woods, Kumail Nanjiani, Martin Starr, Amanda Crew

Attending an elaborate launch party, Richard and his computer programmer friends - Big Head, Dinesh and Gilfoyle - dream of making it big. Instead, they're living in the communal Hacker Hostel owned by former programmer Erlich, who gets to claim ten percent of anything they invent there. When it becomes clear that Richard has developed a powerful compression algorithm for his website, Pied Piper, he finds himself courted by Gavin Belson, his egomaniacal corporate boss, who offers a $10 million buyout by his firm, Hooli. But Richard holds back when well-known investor Peter Gregory makes a counteroffer.

Source: TMDB

↓

Whoo!

whoo

↓

Yeah!

↓

Somebody make some motherfucking noise in here!

motherfucking noise somebody

↓

Fuck these people.

fuck

↓

Man, this place is unbelievable.

place unbelievable

↓

Fucking Goolybib, man.

fucking

↓

Those guys build a mediocre piece of software,

build piece software

↓

that might be worth something someday, and now they live here.

live might someday worth

↓

There's money flying all over Silicon Valley but none of it ever seems to hit us.

flying money seems silicon silicon-valley valley

↓

What the hell are you eating?

eating

↓

Liquid shrimp. It's 200 dollars a quart.

dollars liquid shrimp

↓

Wylie Dufresne made it.

↓

How does it taste?

taste

↓

Like how I would imagine cum tastes.

imagine tastes

↓

You guys taking it all in?

↓

Because this is what it looks like

↓

when Google acquires your company for over 200 million dollars.

company dollars google million million-dollars

↓

Look, Dustin Moskovitz.

↓

Elon Musk, Eric Schmidt.

eric schmidt

↓

Whatever the fuck the guy's name is who created Photrio.

created fuck name

↓

I mean, Kid Rock is the poorest person here.

person rock

↓

Apart from you guys.

apart

↓

Okay, there's 40 billion dollars of net worth walking around this party.

billion billion-dollars dollars party walking worth

↓

And you guys are standing around drinking shrimp

drinking shrimp standing

↓

and talking about what cum tastes like.

tastes

↓

Yeah, I heard that. You guys live in my incubator.

heard live

↓

You've got to network. That's why I brought you here.

brought network

↓

Uh, I got us in here.

↓

Javeed over there is my ex-room-mate.

mate room

↓

Yeah, but I drove.

drove

↓

Eric Schmidt, Erlich Bachman.

eric schmidt

↓

It's amazing how the men and women at these things

amazing women

↓

always separate like this.

separate

↓

Yeah, every party in Silicon Valley ends up like a Hasidic wedding.

ends party silicon silicon-valley valley wedding

↓

Not even the Goolybib guys were talking to girls.

girls

↓

They don't have to, Big Head.

head

↓

This house talks to girls.

girls house talks

↓

Hello! Whoo!

whoo

↓

I got seven words for you.

seven words

↓

I love

love

↓

Goolybib's integrated-multi-platform-functionality!

multi platform

↓

Yeah!

↓

- All right! - Whoo!

whoo

↓

Yeah!

↓

But seriously,

↓

you know, a few days ago, when we were sitting down with Barack Obama,

barack days obama sitting

↓

I turned to these guys and said,

turned

↓

"Okay, you know, we're making a lot of money."

money

↓

"And yes, we're disrupting digital media."

digital media

↓

"But most importantly,"

importantly

↓

"we're making the world a better place."

place world

↓

"Through constructing elegant hierarchies for maximum code reuse and extensibility."

code elegant maximum

↓

So, everyone.

↓

Here's to many more nights just like this one.

nights

↓

Take it away, my good friend, Kid Rock.

friend rock

↓

What a dick.

dick

↓

Big Head, there is a personal ad section on this Asperger site.

head personal section site

↓

Holy shit, this one is looking for

holy looking

↓

a "relationship that has the potential to become sexual in nature."

become nature potential relationship sexual

↓

Boy, is she on the spectrum.

spectrum

↓

She can't even make eye contact with the camera.

camera contact

↓

Richard, can I talk to you for a second?

richard second

↓

- Solo. - Mmm-hmm.

solo

↓

We need to talk about Pied Piper.

piper

↓

What about it? The website's up and running,

running

↓

I'm just redesigning the compression. It just needs users.

needs users

↓

Yeah, no shit.

↓

But even if somebody wanted to use it,

somebody wanted

↓

they wouldn't be able to figure out how to. It's incomprehensible.

able figure

↓

Now, Richard, when you pitched me Pied Piper

piper pitched richard

↓

you said it was gonna be, "The Google of Music."

google music

↓

Which is a really rad way to pitch something.

pitch

↓

I mean, I liked it. I thought it had applications.

applications liked

↓

No, it has all that. Look, when it blows up,

blows

↓

and it will once it reaches a critical mass of users,

critical mass reaches users

↓

Pied Piper will be able to search the whole world of recorded music

able music piper recorded search whole whole-world world

↓

to find out if there's a match to see if you're infringing on any copyrighted material.

match material

↓

So, if you're a songwriter or a band...

band songwriter

↓

Okay, first of all, nobody gives a shit about stealing other people's music, okay?

gives music nobody nobody-gives peoples stealing

↓

Everybody involved in the music industry is either stealing it or sharing it.

everybody industry involved music sharing stealing

↓

They're all a bunch of assholes, especially Radiohead.

assholes bunch especially

↓

- Look, Richard... - No.

richard

↓

Yeah, they're assholes.

assholes

↓

Now, look, Richard, if you want to live here,

live richard

↓

- you've got to deliver. - Mmm.

deliver

↓

I can't have dead weight at my incubator, okay?

dead weight

↓

Either that, or show some promise, for fuck's sake.

fucks fucks-sake promise sake

↓

Like NipAlert, Big Head's app.

heads

↓

It gives you the location of a woman with erect nipples.

erect gives location nipples woman

↓

Now, that's something people want.

↓

Richard, you need to get in touch with humanity.

humanity richard touch

↓

When I sold my company, Aviato,

company sold

↓

I wanted to give back.

wanted

↓

That's why I started this place, to do something big. To make a difference.

difference place started

↓

You know, like Steve.

steve

↓

Um...

↓

Jobs or Wozniak?

jobs

↓

Uh, Steve Jobs or Steve...

jobs steve

↓

Oh, I heard you.

heard

↓

- Which one? - Jobs.

jobs

↓

I mean, Jobs was a poser. He didn't even write code.

code jobs write

↓

You just disappeared up your own asshole.

asshole disappeared

↓

- You know that? You did. - Well, technically...

technically

↓

Big Head, I'm gonna be meditating.

head

↓

He knew how to package the ideas, but it was Wozniak that...

ideas package

↓

What is Hooli? Excellent question.

excellent question

↓

Hooli isn't just another high tech company.

another company tech tech-company

↓

Hooli isn't just about software.

software

↓

Hooli... Hooli is about people.

↓

Hooli is about innovative technology that makes a difference,

difference innovative makes technology

↓

transforming the world as we know it.

world

↓

Making the world a better place,

place world

↓

through minimal message oriented transport layers.

layers message minimal transport

↓

I firmly believe we can only achieve greatness

achieve believe greatness

↓

if first we achieve goodness.

achieve goodness

↓

Erlich is gonna kick me out.

kick

↓

And I can't afford to pay rent here.

afford rent

↓

It's insane. $2800 a month,

insane month

↓

$4500 a month, with five people.

five month

↓

Jesus! Why is it so expensive here?

expensive jesus

↓

Look at this place, it's a shithole.

place shithole

↓

Uh-oh.

↓

Here's another one.

another

↓

Miss Palo Alto, 2K14.

miss

↓

There she goes.

↓

Oh, God, the marketing team is having another bike meeting.

another bike having having-another marketing meeting team

↓

Douchebags.

↓

Just another day inside the Gavin Belson cult compound.

another compound cult

↓

Hey, did you hear what Peter Gregory is doing?

gregory peter

↓

You mean buying that island in the Pacific?

buying island pacific

↓

No, he's building one actually.

building

↓

Baller.

↓

Anyway, he's also offering 100K

offering

↓

to people willing to skip or drop out of college to pursue their idea.

college drop idea pursue skip willing

↓

I don't know what happened to that guy, but he really hates college.

college happened hates

↓

Anyway, he's doing a TED Talks in Palo Alto tonight.

talks tonight

↓

- Should we try to get in? - I dropped out of college.

college dropped

↓

Maybe I should re-enroll and drop out again.

drop enroll

↓

Try and get the money.

money

↓

Brogrammers.

↓

Oh, no, no.

↓

Hey, a double macchiato for me, dude.

double

↓

Yeah.

↓

Hey, Rico, you been working out?

rico working

↓

No. No, I have not.

↓

I don't have time to even if I wanted to.

wanted

↓

I'm too busy working on my website.

busy website working

↓

Uh, I just, I don't want to end up being a Hooli lifer.

↓

You know, working here forever.

forever working

↓

Yeah, working for the most innovative company in the world,

company innovative working world

↓

with top pay and vested stock options.

options stock vested

↓

I can totally see why you wouldn't want that.

↓

Yeah, you're like an artist. An entrepreneur.

artist

↓

An iconoclast.

↓

I don't know, maybe.

↓

Dude, we're just messing with you.

messing

↓

But we really want to help you with your site. What's it called?

called site

↓

Pied Piper.

piper

↓

- Dude, sounds amazing. - Yeah.

amazing sounds

↓

Why don't you shoot it over to us and we'll give it a look.

shoot

↓

Maybe we can help.

↓

- Uh, really? - Yeah.

↓

Okay, yeah...

↓

I mean it's always good to have more eyes on it.

eyes

↓

Look, it's sending... Sent it.

sending sent

↓

Oh. You're making fun of me.

fun

↓

- Dude, no. - No, you are.

↓

- No, Ricky, man. - Ricky. Ricky, come back.

ricky

↓

It's actually Richard, so that's...

richard

↓

- Pied wiper. - Wide diaper.

diaper wide

↓

Gates, Ellison,

gates

↓

Jobs, Dell...

jobs

↓

All dropped out of college.

college dropped

↓

Silicon Valley is the cradle of innovation

cradle innovation silicon silicon-valley valley

↓

because of drop outs.

drop outs

↓

College

college

↓

has become a cruel, expensive joke

become cruel expensive joke

↓

on the poor and the middle class

class middle poor

↓

that benefits only the perpetrators of it.

benefits

↓

The bloated administrators.

↓

You are a dangerous man, spewing ignorance!

dangerous spewing

↓

I don't think so.

↓

I'm just saying people should trust themselves

trust

↓

more than a system that happily churns out unemployed debtors

happily system unemployed

↓

and provides dubious value.

value

↓

The true value of a college education is intangible.

college education value

↓

The true value of snake-oil is intangible as well.

snake value

↓

Fascist.

fascist

↓

- Anything? - Eh.

↓

The usual riffs on Twitter and lnstagram.

twitter usual

↓

Nothing I'd fund.

fund

↓

Hi, excuse me, Mr. Gregory? Um...

excuse gregory

↓

I have an idea I'd love to pitch you, if you have time.

idea love pitch

↓

Ooh.

↓

Uh...

↓

Well, that is before I just give up and go back to college.

college

↓

Don't... Do not do that.

↓

Go work at Burger King.

burger king

↓

Go into the woods and forage for nuts and berries.

berries nuts woods

↓

Do not go back to college!

college

↓

I think I have been played.

played

↓

Fine. Go ahead and pitch.

ahead go-ahead pitch

↓

You have until I fasten the seatbelt in my car.

seatbelt

↓

Thank you so much. Uh...

↓

Pied Piper is a proprietary site that lets you find out

piper proprietary site

↓

if your music is infringing on any existing copyrights.

existing music

↓

So, imagine you were a songwriter, okay?

imagine songwriter

↓

I don't think I could write a song.

song write

↓

Yeah, no, just imagine if you were.

imagine

↓

I don't even think I could say, "Pied Piper is a proprietary site."

piper proprietary site

↓

Well, I just did but it wasn't easy.

easy

↓

Crunching all those songs to find matches

crunching matches songs

↓

sounds like it would take incredible processing power.

incredible power processing sounds

↓

- I mean... - Yes.

↓

Yes, it does.

↓

No, no. It's... I made an algorithm.

algorithm

↓

Look, why don't you send me a link to your project and we'll take a look.

link project send

↓

Okay, yeah, great.

↓

I put the prototype up on Github.

prototype

↓

Pied Piper. I'll look it up.

piper

↓

It's like the fable with the kids and then the rats and the music.

kids music rats

↓

That is a narrow car.

narrow

↓

Fucking billionaires.

fucking

↓

Hey, wanna check out twig-boy's website?

boys check twig website

↓

Yes, I do.

↓

You have to download your own media player?

download media player

↓

Oh. Look at me, I traveled back to 2009.

traveled

↓

Wait a sec.

↓

What is this file size?

file size

↓

1.2 megabytes? No way.

↓

Wow, that doesn't sound at all downgraded.

sound

↓

The file size is like, half.

file half size

↓

And look how fast this search is.

fast search

↓

Holy shit, how did it find a match that fast?

fast holy match

↓

It's like it's searching compressed files?

files searching

↓

No way.

↓

Look at that Weissman score.

score

↓

2.89.

↓

Hey, where have you two been?

↓

We're playing the multi-channel router team in five minutes.

channel five five-minutes minutes multi playing team

↓

Okay, how the hell did he do this?

↓

And the compression is totally lossless.

↓

And he's somehow figured out a way to do a search on a compressed data space.

data figured search space

↓

- Holy shit. - Yeah.

holy

↓

And I don't think he even realizes what he has here.

realizes

↓

He's using it for some silly songwriter app.

silly songwriter using

↓

All these guys are like that, they're all about consumer facing.

consumer facing

↓

Right, but you take something like this,

↓

make it business facing and use it for enterprise,

business enterprise facing

↓

the applications could be endless.

applications endless

↓

Hey, Gilfoyle, I thought you were a Satanist?

↓

I'm a LaVeyan Satanist

↓

with some theistic tendencies.

tendencies

↓

Oh, some theistic tendencies.

tendencies

↓

Well then, what's with the cross?

cross

↓

It's an upside down cross.

cross upside

↓

Not from here it isn't.

↓

Oh, I see, you know what you should do?

↓

You should get another tattoo that says, "This side up" on it.

another side tattoo

↓

How does this translate into Farsi?

↓

That's not the language I speak.

language speak

↓

Frontier Airlines just happened to like mine, Aviato.

airlines happened

↓

And that's how I got to where I am.

↓

So, what do you got?

↓

Okay, here it is.

↓

Bit Soup.

soup

↓

It's like alphabet soup,

soup

↓

but it's ones and zeros, instead of the letters.

letters ones

↓

'Cause it's binary. You know, binary is just ones and zeroes.

ones

↓

Yeah, I know what binary is.

↓

Jesus Christ! I memorized the hexadecimal times tables

christ jesus jesus-christ memorized tables times

↓

when I was 14 writing machine code!

code machine writing

↓

Okay? Ask me what nine times F is.

nine times

↓

It's fleventyfive.

↓

I do not need you telling me what binary is,

telling

↓

just like I don't need you thinking about soup or taking pictures of it.

pictures soup thinking

↓

I need you thinking about apps, software, websites.

apps software thinking

↓

This is Silicon Valley, all right, not...

silicon silicon-valley valley

↓

Paris, Texas.

paris texas

↓

Hmm.

↓

That's where Campbell's Soup is.

soup

↓

It's the Hooli number again.

number

↓

It's probably those brogrammers.

↓

Can't wait to tell me how stupid my website is.

stupid website

↓

Assholes.

assholes

↓

Hello, Richard Hendricks. I'm a total fucking retard.

fucking retard richard total

↓

Uh, hi, this is Jared Dunn calling from Hooli.

calling jared

↓

I'm calling on behalf of Gavin Belson.

behalf calling

↓

I didn't... Hi.

↓

Gavin is very excited about your Pied Piper application

application excited piper

↓

and we were wondering if you could come in for a sit-down with us.

wondering

↓

- Are you available now? - Okay.

available

↓

- Sure. - Okay, we'll be here.

↓

Yes. Good-bye.

↓

Uh...

↓

I have a meeting with Gavin Belson.

meeting

↓

He likes Pied Piper.

likes piper

↓

- Holy shit. - I own 10% of Pied Piper.

holy piper

↓

You said it was a shitty idea.

idea shitty

↓

It was a shitty idea.

idea shitty

↓

I'm not sure what it is now.

↓

- What time's the meeting? - Right now.

meeting times

↓

I'm gonna need a better shirt.

shirt

↓

Holy shit.

holy

↓

- What the fuck am I waiting for? - Uh, see ya.

fuck waiting

↓

Well, it's like Gavin always says, "it takes change to make change."

change takes

↓

Uh, yeah, I think I've seen that written around.

seen written

↓

- Hey. - Hi.

↓

Gavin is running 30 minutes late

late minutes minutes-late running

↓

but you should know, he is very excited to see you, Richard.

excited richard

↓

Oh.

↓

He's with his spiritual advisor.

advisor spiritual

↓

He shouldn't be that much longer.

longer

↓

I'm a VP here and I only get to see him about 10 minutes a month.

minutes month

↓

Yeah, but that 10 minutes is just incredible.

incredible minutes

↓

I heard Richard Hendricks was here.

heard richard

↓

Have you ever met Gavin before?

↓

- No. - No?

↓

Oh, I told him, it's amazing.

amazing

↓

That hardly begins to describe it.

begins describe hardly

↓

It's weird.

weird

↓

They always travel in groups of five.

five groups travel

↓

These programmers, there's always a tall skinny white guy,

skinny tall white

↓

short skinny Asian guy,

asian short skinny

↓

fat guy with a ponytail,

↓

some guy with crazy facial hair

crazy facial hair

↓

and then an East Indian guy.

east indian

↓

It's like they trade guys until they all have the right group.

group trade

↓

You clearly have a great understanding of humanity.

humanity understanding

↓

And Gavin said, "I'm not humiliating you, I'm elevating you."

humiliating

↓

Oh, Gavin...

↓

This is Richard.

richard

↓

It's Peter Gregory.

gregory peter

↓

Uh...

↓

No.

↓

Come on, Big Head.

head

↓

Yeah, I'm coming. Slow...

coming slow

↓

Why are you going that fast?

fast

↓

'Cause we've got a meeting with Gavin Belson.

meeting

↓

Pick up the pace.

pace pick

↓

- We honestly don't. - Come on.

↓

I'm actually outside of Gavin Belson's office right now, Mr. Gregory.

gregory office

↓

Uh, here he comes, so can I call you back in a second?

comes second

↓

So, Richard Hendricks is here!

richard

↓

- There you are, Richard. - Hi.

richard

↓

So sorry these gentleman have kept you waiting.

gentleman waiting

↓

- That's fine. - So here's the thing.

↓

I love what you did.

love

↓

- Really? - Fill him in, Jared.

fill jared

↓

Now, as you know, Hooli is seen as possibly the most progressive company in the world.

company possibly progressive seen world

↓

Part of that is Gavin's commitment to social justice,

commitment justice part social

↓

but part of it is his personal commitment to the people that work at Hooli.

commitment part personal

↓

In that spirit Gavin is prepared to give you a very substantial raise,

prepared raise spirit

↓

and a promotion to go with it.

promotion

↓

I own 10 percent.

percent

↓

He created it while living in my incubator.

created living

↓

Erlich Bachman. This is Big Head.

head

↓

I don't know what any of that means,

↓

but I'll give you 600 thousand dollars for it.

dollars thousand thousand-dollars

↓

We have the reach and the resources to take what you have done

reach resources

↓

and push it to the global level.

global level push

↓

That is a generous offer. I, um...

generous generous-offer offer

↓

Shit, sorry. Hello.

↓

Really? No shit, that's...

↓

Uh, yeah, yeah. No, here. It's Peter Gregory.

gregory peter

↓

Not sure how he got my number.

number

↓

Uh, this is Richard.

richard

↓

I'll give you $3 million for it right now!

million

↓

Uh...

↓

Gavin Belson just offered me $3 million for Pied Piper.

million offered piper

↓

I'm prepared to give you $300,000.

prepared

↓

Peter Gregory just offered me 300...

gregory offered peter

↓

Did you say thousand dollars?

dollars thousand thousand-dollars

↓

For 10% of your company.

company

↓

Okay, 4 million.

million

↓

200,000.

↓

- For 5%. - Huh?

↓

You just went down.

↓

No, you're still valued at four million dollars.

dollars four million million-dollars

↓

But you own 95% of a potential billion-dollar company.

billion company dollar potential

↓

And not just that, I will help you build this company.

build company

↓

I will introduce you to the people you need to know

introduce

↓

and provide the counsel that you need.

counsel provide

↓

I will take a small piece, but the company will belong to you.

belong company piece

↓

Not Gavin Belson.

↓

You have until tomorrow to decide.

decide tomorrow

↓

Uh...

↓

Okay.

↓

- Um, you know... - Pull your head out of your ass, Richard.

head pull richard

↓

I'm offering you $4 million right now.

million offering

↓

Mmm...

↓

I'm...

↓

That is a lot of money.

money

↓

You know, I actually have to...

↓

I've got to go to the bathroom.

bathroom

↓

I've got to pee.

↓

It's desperate. I'm bursting.

desperate

↓

I'll be right back, but right now...

↓

Okay, 10 million.

million

↓

No. Maybe.

↓

I didn't mean to snap at you.

snap

↓

I'll talk in a bit.

↓

Won't be long.

↓

Little more about me.

↓

I am the founder of Aviato, and I own a very small percentage of Grindr.

founder percentage

↓

It's a men to men dating site

dating site

↓

where you can find other men within 10 miles of you

miles

↓

interested in having sexual intercourse in a public restroom.

having interested public restroom sexual

↓

In the homosexual community there's sometimes anonymous...

anonymous community homosexual sometimes

↓

I know what Grindr is.

↓

I have gay friends.

friends

↓

So you will survive.

survive

↓

It's just a garden variety panic attack.

attack garden panic panic-attack variety

↓

Welcome to Silicon Valley.

silicon silicon-valley valley welcome

↓

We see people like you all the time.

↓

- Really? - Yes.

↓

It's just I have to make this decision by tomorrow.

decision tomorrow

↓

Yeah. You know, a while back,

↓

we had a guy in here in almost the exact same situation,

exact situation

↓

"Take the money or keep the company."

company money

↓

What happened?

happened

↓

Well, a couple months later,

couple couple-months months

↓

he was brought into the ER with a self-inflicted gunshot wound.

brought gunshot inflicted self wound

↓

I guess he really regretted not taking that money.

money

↓

He shot himself because he turned down the money?

money shot turned

↓

Yeah.

↓

Or no, he took the money.

money

↓

Or no.

↓

No, he did not. I don't... You know what?

↓

I don't remember. But whatever it was,

remember

↓

he regretted it so much that he ended up shooting himself.

ended shooting

↓

- And now he's blind. - He's blind?

blind

↓

Yeah, just FYI, if you're ever gonna shoot yourself,

shoot

↓

don't hold the gun up to your temple, okay?

temple

↓

Because that just basically took out both of his optic nerves and then,

nerves

↓

you know, half of his face.

face half

↓

And then his wife left him, because, you know...

left wife

↓

- Yikes. - Right.

yikes

↓

He may have been a genius programmer

genius

↓

but not so much in human anatomy.

anatomy human

↓

Or decision making, for that matter.

decision matter

↓

Now he's got to live with all that

live

↓

and whatever terrible decision he made about the money.

decision money

↓

Uh, and what do I do if I feel another panic attack coming on?

another attack coming panic panic-attack

↓

Mmm. Would you be interested in a device

device interested

↓

that links up to your smartphone and it keeps track of your vitals

keeps links track vitals

↓

and it tells you, even before it's happening,

tells

↓

whether you're having a panic attack or an actual heart attack?

actual attack having heart heart-attack panic panic-attack whether

↓

Yeah, that sounds great.

sounds

↓

You would, right? Okay, that's great news.

news

↓

Because it's still in prototype phase right now,

phase prototype

↓

but my start-up partners and I are looking for investors.

investors looking partners start

↓

Like today. So will you please let me know...

today

↓

I'm going to give you my number.

number

↓

If you do end up taking that 10 million dollars

dollars million million-dollars

↓

because we could really make the world a better place.

place world

↓

Whoa!

whoa

↓

Oh, jeez!

jeez

↓

Richard.

richard

↓

Hi, Monica. I work with Peter Gregory.

gregory peter

↓

- We met outside the TED... - Yeah, I remember you.

remember

↓

What... How'd you know I was here?

howd

↓

Peter Gregory is invested in a company that uses GPS in phones to track people.

company gregory invested peter phones track uses

↓

That's creepy.

creepy

↓

You don't know the half of it.

half

↓

And neither does Congress.

congress

↓

- Are you okay? - Look, I don't want to waste your time.

waste

↓

I think I gotta take the money from Gavin Belson.

money

↓

At least this way when I blow my eyeballs out I'll have some money left for my family.

blow eyeballs family least left money

↓

Jesus.

jesus

↓

Sorry. That is a terrible doctor in there.

doctor

↓

Richard, buried in that clunky UI of yours

buried richard

↓

is a compression algorithm that blew our engineering team away.

algorithm blew engineering team

↓

And what do you think Hooli is going to do with it?

↓

I don't know. That's their business.

business

↓

This is your baby.

baby

↓

Do you even realize the impact

impact realize

↓

that a compression this good could have on the world?

world

↓

Getting any file on your mobile phone in an instant.

file instant mobile phone

↓

Navigation data for self-driving cars, mobile medical imagery,

cars data driving imagery medical mobile self

↓

all transmitting with no quality loss.

loss quality

↓

This is game-changing.

changing game

↓

And don't you want to be in the driver's seat when that happens?

drivers happens seat

↓

You really want to just turn it all over to Hooli and walk away?

walk

↓

Well, you are not making this easier for me.

easier

↓

I'm not trying to.

↓

I mean, you're actually making it worse.

worse

↓

My hands are tingling. I have this metal taste in my mouth.

hands metal mouth taste tingling

↓

Actually, I can't go back in there, so I'm going to go home.

home

↓

- Let me give you a ride home. - Good to see you again.

home ride ride-home

↓

Uh, okay. Thanks.

thanks

↓

Dude, where have you been?

↓

Why won't you answer your phone?

answer phone

↓

Man, this has grown way beyond AngelList, man.

beyond grown

↓

Andreesen, Elevation and like a bunch of other seed firms are piling onto this thing.

bunch seed

↓

I mean, they've been calling Erlich.

calling

↓

He's out of control.

control

↓

Yeah.

↓

What if we took Peter Gregory's 200K and built our own company?

built company peter

↓

I'm sorry. You said "we."

↓

Who's that in reference to exactly?

reference

↓

You, me, Dinesh, Big Head, us.

head

↓

I mean, right now Pied Piper just does audio,

audio piper

↓

but I'm thinking of ways to compress images, video...

images thinking video ways

↓

I mean, maybe Peter Gregory's right. Maybe this thing could be huge.

huge peter

↓

Look, guys, for thousands of years

thousands years

↓

guys like us have gotten the shit kicked out of us.

gotten kicked

↓

But now, for the first time, we are living in an era

living

↓

where we can be in charge and build empires.

build charge

↓

We could be the Vikings of our day.

↓

- Vikings? - How are you feeling?

feeling

↓

You look super fucked up, to be honest.

fucked honest super

↓

Who ate my fucking quinoa again?

fucking

↓

So you're really about to go tell Erlich that he's not going to get his $1 million?

million

↓

Yeah, I don't want to be there when you do that.

↓

I would like to be there when you do that.

↓

No, just stay here, please.

↓

Hey-

↓

Um...

↓

So, I've been thinking about this whole Peter Gregory, Gavin Belson thing.

gregory peter thinking whole

↓

And, um, I think I'm going to go with Peter Gregory.

gregory peter

↓

- Uh, which I know means... - Richard.

richard

↓

I know that you look at me, and see a guy who has it all figured out.

figured

↓

And for the most part, you're right, I do.

part

↓

When I sold Aviato,

sold

↓

it gave me a house, money, fancy clothes,

clothes fancy house money

↓

the universal respect of all the ladies.

ladies respect

↓

But there's always been a hole in my heart.

heart hole

↓

Not a literal hole like you would find in some babies with congenital diseases,

babies diseases hole literal

↓

but a metaphorical hole.

hole

↓

I guess that hole is the "What if."

hole

↓

What if I didn't sell?

sell

↓

I'll never know.

↓

And so I guess what I'm saying to you now is,

↓

you're like me, Richard.

richard

↓

You want to build something

build

↓

and see it through.

↓

Uh, so, just to be clear.

clear

↓

You're all right with me saying no to a deal that will net you a million dollars outright?

deal dollars million million-dollars

↓

No, Richard. I'm not all right with it.

richard

↓

I'm excited about it.

excited

↓

Let's see how high this rocket can fly, partner.

partner rocket

↓

Okay. Great.

↓

That's great. Uh...

↓

Not partners, exactly.

partners

↓

But everything else is great.

↓

Call it what you want.

↓

Always blue, always blue, always blue,

blue

↓

always blue, always blue, always blue,

blue

↓

always blue, always...

blue

↓

Oh, that was a yellow.

yellow

↓

What was that, 17?

↓

- It's pretty good. - Hey, guys...

↓

Guys, can I just kind of say something real quick?

quick real real-quick

↓

I know it's stupid but...

stupid

↓

I just want to say, uh,

↓

I'd like for this company to just be different than Hooli

company

↓

and Goolybib and all the rest, you know?

rest

↓

Like, let's like not turn this into a corporate cult

corporate cult

↓

with bike meetings and voluntary retreats that are actually mandatory.

bike mandatory meetings

↓

And claiming to make the world a better place all the time.

claiming place world

↓

Let's, uh... Let's just think different.

↓

Uh, don't think different. That's Apple.

apple

↓

Let's just... Let's just do it.

↓

- That's Nike, man. - I know that's Nike.

nike

↓

- Yeah. - Uh...

↓

Fuck it. I don't know. Let's just make it... Let's make it happen.

fuck happen

↓

Yeah, agreed.

agreed

↓

To his beneficence.

↓

Peter Gregory?

gregory peter

↓

- The dark lord. - Of course, the dark lord.

course dark lord

↓

Big Head.

head

↓

God, he's worse high.

worse

↓

Always blue, always blue, always blue, always blue, always blue...

blue

↓

Always blue, always...

blue