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Home » Rick and Morty » S09E09 — Salute Your Morts

Rick and Morty

Season 9, Episode 9 — Salute Your Morts

TMDB episode metadata
Show: Rick and Morty
Episode title: Salute Your Morts
Air date: July 19, 2026
Director: Brian Kaufman
Top billed cast: Chris Parnell, Spencer Grammer, Sarah Chalke, Ian Cardoni, Harry Belden
Morty and Summer go to camp, broh. Beth and Jerry home alone, broh.
Source: TMDB
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Mr. and Mrs. Smith,
smith
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thank you for taking time off work to come in.
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So, what's this about, Principal Vagina?
principalvagina
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Yeah, what is this about?
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You're not a leaner. You don't have that in you.
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Go sit at your desk like the outer city principal you are.
citydeskouterprincipal
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Morty! Summer! Stop.
mortysummer
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Their latest offense had students
latestoffensestudents
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packing their gums with this.
gumspacking
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This growth gives users perfect memories.
givesgrowthmemoriesperfectusers
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And there's no light way to put this,
light
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the student body now do nothing
bodystudent
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but relive their intimate achievements.
intimate
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Yes, more! More canola oil!
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Add to that Morty replacing himself with ninja clones,
mortyninjareplacing
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Summer making toilets chant your weight when you sit,
summertoiletsweight
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and this is their third sci-fi strike this semester.
semesterstrikethird
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Morty and Summer are officially expelled.
expelledmortyofficiallysummer
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Expelled? Can't you just suspend them with pay?
expelled
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What has gotten into you two?
gotten
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You're unrecognizable lately!
lately
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Mom gets red when she's angry.
angry
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Do we have any canola oil?
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Add muting adults to the list.
adultslist
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So I wasn't having a mental breakdown. Phew!
breakdownhavingmentalphew
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Quit summoning me like this. People are gonna think I'm a genie.
quit
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Dad, the kids just got expelled
expelledkids
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for being high-concept assholes.
assholesconcept
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Turning people into carrots
carrotsturning
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won't help you beat the genie allegations.
beat
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I won't dignify that with a response, Jerry,
jerryresponse
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but I will make you a carrot at some point.
carrotpoint
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Too much. Too much!
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My bones were my skin and my organs were frozen
bonesfrozenorgansskin
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in the orange marrow my blood became.
becamebloodmarroworange
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- Oh, dear. - Kids aren't expelled.
dearexpelledkids
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They aren't expelled! A! All As! Every class!
classexpelled
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Dad, this is why they're so spoiled.
spoiled
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You bail them out before they ever learn a lesson.
baillearnlesson
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Yeah, you turned out so awesome without him.
awesometurned
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Don't give Rick that much credit, he's not bailing us out,
bailingcreditrick
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he's being a lazy piece of shit.
lazypiece
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The fuck you just say?
fuck
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Little bitch ninja-logged me.
bitchloggedninja
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- See? - Okay, you win.
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I heard about this sleepaway camp off-world
campheardworld
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that rich people ship their spoiled kids to.
kidsrichshipspoiled
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You're sending them away?
sending
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Shouldn't you be handling it yourself?
handling
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This is me handling it.
handling
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You want me to find a switch? Bend 'em over?
bendswitch
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- Give 'em the ol' hot seat? - I know you're being sarcastic,
sarcasticseat
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but I don't like the excitement in your voice.
excitementvoice
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- Good. - Oh, whatever.
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Keep turning your problems into carrots.
carrotsproblemsturning
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Beth!
beth
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Pack your shit.
pack
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This is bullshit.
bullshit
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How else are we supposed to treat our normie-ass classmates?
classmatessupposedtreat
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We're literally in space right now.
space
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Yeah, why do we get punished for being better than everyone?
punished
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Because you aren't. I am.
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You two are remora,
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too fucking spoiled to know you're mooching off a shark.
fuckingsharkspoiled
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Ugh! Whatever, bro.
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Me and Summer have grown so much we arced onto the same page.
grownpagesummer
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But I guess we haven't grown
grown
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as much as your fucking bald spot.
baldfuckingspot
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Yeah, you dumb bitch!
bitchdumbdumb-bitch
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- It's pickleball-sized now. - Oh, wow. Wow!
pickleballsized
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Look at Beyoncé, rolling up the partition.
rolling
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Did I make the cover?
cover
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I can't believe you wanted to, you fucking loser.
believefuckingloserwanted
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- Goddamn it! - His thirsty ass picked up
goddamngoddamn-itpickedthirsty
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on the first ring.
ring
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- What are you doing? - Reminding you who the shark is.
remindingshark
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Oh! Thank God. It's... over.
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If you thought that dial was bad,
dial
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check out this button.
buttoncheck
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a745a598-413e-44b9-aeec-9809a28a4bfc.gif
- On your feet, maggots! Let's go! - Move! Move! Move! Move!
feetmaggots
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Listen, whatever this is, I can't dig holes all summer.
holessummer
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I have gentle hands, piano player's hands!
gentlehandspianoplayers
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Well, put those hands to work...
hands
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- Doin' whatever the fuck you want! - ...doin' whatever the fuck you want!
doinfuck
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So, just to be clear...
clear
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The kids took over the camp.
campkids
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Oh. Good?
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- You feel that? - The AC?
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Beth, you know if it's over 65 degrees, I get hives.
bethdegrees
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No. This is the first time we've had the house to ourselves since...
house
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I know she keeps drugs in here.
drugskeeps
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She's 17 and hangs out with my dad.
hangs
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Ooh, I think I found some.
found
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Oh, thank God. I mean, oh no.
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bf67dd54-fdc6-47be-8d37-2744d4927687.gif
Not sure what goes in what orifice.
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This looks familiar enough.
familiar
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Still got it.
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a164c54b-a76e-48e9-9394-d1a534e15c3e.gif
Do you feel anything?
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I mean...
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I'm feeling...
feeling
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52a31318-c6c7-46f3-8928-636cbf60f412.gif
Great.
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60370e37-7fa1-4e3b-9ee7-c4e145d59d0d.gif
We should steal a car!
steal
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Beth? Future carrot?
bethcarrotfuture
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I dropped off the little freaks. You two wanna grab a drink?
drinkdroppedfreaksgrab
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We... we are--
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We aren't home!
home
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d46b88ab-9dfb-4e41-bbf5-977dd3cec1e4.gif
What? Oh! Beth, gross.
bethgross
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Just don't reply next time.
reply
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How'd Summer get drugs from Japan?
drugshowdjapansummer
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What even is this stuff?
stuff
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Oh man, we totally had you guys.
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da94bab5-c2b9-47a8-badb-1a4b87b0e0c2.gif
It's not a real camp anymore.
anymorecampreal
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We campers overthrew the counselors years ago.
counselorsyears
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- Years ago. - Yeah, you goofy hoes!
goofyhoesyears
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We run this shit now.
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e5bae4f0-0285-4cf3-b42a-7e710b104ee9.gif
Anything you want, we got.
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ecc0285f-3c58-4adb-8dfe-f7a0b6ef3af1.gif
Anything you wanna do, you do.
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Can I fire a bazooka on a skateboard?
fireskateboard
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Come on, you know the answer.
answer
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Oh my God, I'm gonna do it.
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So what happened to the counselors?
counselorshappened
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Murdered 'em.
murdered
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- Fuck. - Oh God.
fuck
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That's where we dump our lame.
dumplame
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Pretty sick, right?
sick
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Sickly... awesome.
awesome
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429e584b-33b2-48b6-b966-0af1f9ab9bfb.gif
Let's give 'em a tour.
tour
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Ow! Ow! Ow!
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b4dd6324-3843-4fdb-954e-1fb07bc9e13e.gif
- Is he okay? - Oh God. Who gives a shit?
gives
↓
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That's the amphitheater. Great place to get fucked.
fuckedplace
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That's the archery range.
range
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57a4b4dc-277d-4559-bee3-835058c275f6.gif
Perfect place to get fucked.
fuckedperfectperfect-placeplace
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That's the cafeteria.
cafeteria
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aa3ae047-e744-4f72-a294-4bc3e96828b4.gif
- Super awesome place-- - We get it.
awesomeplacesuper
↓
c9dad7bd-1dfd-4d7f-a144-e4a18b24d75e.gif
But where does everything else, like, come from?
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fb528b02-fba5-4493-a8ca-8076197950c2.gif
A bunch of us have trust funds, so we just DoorDash anything we want.
bunchfundstrust
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15969002-20b0-4085-971f-fc0b3e9081eb.gif
Greek food incoming.
foodgreekincoming
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And... no tip.
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What? I didn't see him make it.
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c8c59c1e-db18-4579-b334-3acb11c9f712.gif
Excuse me, Edward Merlot Hands coming through.
comingedwardexcusehands
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Look, you're the first kids to show up here in ages.
ageskids
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5658b135-0ce4-40fe-b85b-3948223ab5b2.gif
- So... - Do you two solemnly swear
swear
↓
a3c30238-1a68-4216-ba35-7bed50ee664b.gif
to dedicate your life to the party?
lifeparty
↓
3f86d398-0df2-459b-aae6-34c83bf8e0a8.gif
- Whoop-whoop! - Yeah!
whoop
↓
35833447-ea22-4229-ae6b-7773ede3d474.gif
I'm gonna party 'til my face fucking melts off!
facefuckingmeltsparty
↓
fc5a785c-bd86-4352-a328-8874a23c76be.gif
Well, I guess being high forever isn't all bad.
forever
↓
29334e3b-d341-4039-b0ab-a49d0e2f2c85.gif
I'll lose my job
lose
↓
50bcab48-5bb9-4e76-8910-406da90b31b6.gif
and try to understand Jackson Pollock paintings.
jacksonpaintings
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79cd5e1f-1d33-4f25-92e0-272bf3efded0.gif
It was a visualization of suicide.
suicide
↓
25951c59-cc91-4c51-a6e7-0d297e4fda88.gif
Aw, it totally was.
↓
9fd9071b-904a-4ed2-9396-e5a968713931.gif
You ruined it!
ruined
↓
46769d47-e815-49ea-966b-dffabe2f0cda.gif
Are we really gonna be high forever?
forever
↓
97f78365-8379-4554-b7f5-20c171dada09.gif
Can we Google this?
google
↓
ae250e01-76da-411f-8e35-0d60dc311f59.gif
We can Google anything.
google
↓
c14d6b22-c572-4ae7-946e-8435a8ff2c8d.gif
Oh, Jer Bear, look!
bear
↓
ed4d3c3c-bcd8-4586-bbd5-38752a3d776d.gif
They have some version of Narcan at a pharmacy
pharmacyversion
↓
94ec7df6-9b30-43f4-a410-9256d703d59e.gif
the next solar system over.
solarsolar-systemsystem
↓
68a8d7e6-3352-4379-b215-98ec4aeca881.gif
How are we supposed to get there?
supposed
↓
4a3ff1a0-a00b-4513-9525-80e5bcfa45e1.gif
My dad has a way to hail space cabs in the garage.
garagehailspace
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4d8d1b50-29a1-4d75-bbb5-f4ef05940877.gif
- Come on. - How's this not needing him?
needing
↓
32185979-2cee-47f6-973f-6f2e1d4bfc1c.gif
'Cause we're doing it behind his back.
behind
↓
2a654bce-5009-4dbc-8054-9d2f547e6ee1.gif
How do these work again?
↓
3aa3be83-a8d5-4012-867a-54ed4b0d343a.gif
Like this. Watch.
watch
↓
6d45dabb-8558-4060-8b3f-150d889a8d54.gif
Oh, wow.
↓
4eed2507-cc90-45da-ada1-e3bb753642f1.gif
Oh, that's way easier!
easier
↓
9a49ec23-ffb4-4320-b604-75d80cfaa4f0.gif
You can't back out of this deal.
deal
↓
f80e0014-2cb8-4972-838d-672901969275.gif
I got a pallet full of people-sized carrots.
carrotsfullsized
↓
825e657c-f429-405e-a709-ce8fb74c32f6.gif
Not your problem?
problem
↓
e7c74f3a-580f-472c-8209-47d975fff491.gif
Oh, it's about to be.
↓
ab845527-c59c-46ce-bf5f-06f48d2db033.gif
If we make irregular rhythms,
irregular
↓
05006ffd-cd07-426e-b6c1-5cbdf1a92d66.gif
he can't hear us under there.
↓
a19b5035-7692-42f8-b1e1-63164a435277.gif
He's your dad, not the god of Arrakis.
↓
29cb098a-65af-4f7a-86b6-3ad8b48f6de6.gif
All right, Zarz Dinnarz will be here
↓
be538f90-8bb3-4bfb-94f5-e2a63729f58c.gif
in what I'm guessing is three minutes--
guessingminutesthreethree-minutes
↓
64d053ee-6639-4f9a-b835-d947f34b850e.gif
Oh, that was seconds.
seconds
↓
63f99d72-ef33-4caa-aa6b-cae46db935fd.gif
Hey! For Rick?
rick
↓
02b7b00a-a136-4f58-b187-45e2056e8caa.gif
You may enter me.
enter
↓
87e4ea80-a9fe-46f4-ad2e-bcd5d08d0292.gif
Okay.
↓
c02ebf97-53b9-4886-a456-a6d655cdf9a6.gif
Please sit still.
↓
510c6028-5aa9-45ef-8284-e98eba71b304.gif
I have taken a form your butts desire.
buttsdesireformtaken
↓
782a71a0-7fb4-430f-8112-1155d751960d.gif
Oh my God! This is the exact limo we took to prom.
exactlimoprom
↓
12a1aed2-4677-405c-bc19-f95d162a695e.gif
Those can't be real pretzels?
pretzelsreal
↓
61d3c6d7-3115-4717-a1ce-78bfa0c88ace.gif
Oh, isn't this amazing?
amazing
↓
a4c94f13-ed8f-418b-bd82-8a39abd1fea4.gif
It's like we're hanging out as kids again.
hangingkids
↓
42d69c1f-44e9-4fac-93bc-e15b6fe6578b.gif
Oh, everything's slick like a womb.
everythingsslickwomb
↓
52947383-f20d-4f55-8313-876b64844a21.gif
Oh, I need to get baby-sized.
babysized
↓
be308c01-9371-4026-94a9-f4da646dab2d.gif
If I'm born, I'll rip my mother from crack to crack!
borncrackmother
↓
0234bb4b-e3c2-448a-8e29-b19871939272.gif
Everything okay back there?
↓
0ee7e225-c19d-4b4d-a7b8-f07fa5ab363e.gif
Do you have an umbilical cord?
cordumbilicalumbilical-cord
↓
88c3efbb-f175-4832-8316-7dfa17f7e557.gif
What? Are you people high?
↓
4cdbae0d-9c1c-45c2-8334-1fa8abcae212.gif
Oh, we shouldn't have done this, Beth.
beth
↓
da8448fc-127d-44e4-ae22-5afbd1dc35f7.gif
We're too old to be this high.
↓
02a950ae-81f2-4f17-b2b7-3d5ed7f2be38.gif
Oh, sweetie, I'm right here with you.
sweetie
↓
6ba04eb5-f3fd-4687-a1c7-8e7db8660a25.gif
You're safe. We're safe.
safe
↓
4b500044-3835-464e-96cc-12cb8d26881b.gif
Wow.
↓
273f8f94-b1c9-4f6a-a027-076f4f27f3b5.gif
It's like prom night all over again.
nightpromprom-night
↓
9da9038a-3460-42f3-beae-c9f5c86e74f4.gif
You found the right hole eventually.
eventuallyfoundhole
↓
763a809d-bf73-490d-aeeb-a0b8e76eb7c0.gif
Where's the moonroof?
↓
d128c959-a023-4943-b422-d6429126b551.gif
I need to tell the universe that Beth Sanchez is the best thing
bestbethsanchezuniverse
↓
fc33fb60-3be0-4095-b686-05af6f762524.gif
that's ever happened to me!
happened
↓
c53e3efb-7458-4a6f-9840-0037b5b3c0e5.gif
- Aw, Jer. - What? Please remain seated.
remainseated
↓
5765d8a7-fe58-42c0-952d-3a08ec41ada0.gif
But how will the cosmos know how I feel?
↓
d2bcf488-5f30-40d0-ad17-818e256682a1.gif
No, no, no, no, no, no!
↓
dd797925-40bc-4248-81aa-03d0c6e27e7f.gif
My dermis!
↓
73f30038-2d3a-48b9-ab6b-6073f796f1a8.gif
Oh my God!
↓
054008b0-726c-41b2-8a36-d37c0502b6c8.gif
Thank you for choosing Zarz Dinnarz.
choosing
↓
b8edf956-5dee-4f1b-b5dc-145252238f57.gif
Oh my gosh, is he dying?
dyinggosh
↓
658eba9c-4b69-4356-a85c-49b205bb795e.gif
No, I'm just tired.
tired
↓
d567ff3d-46a2-4a9f-91e9-4b811aea287a.gif
I've been doing a lot of airport runs at night.
airportnightruns
↓
a2657314-e813-4bce-8b47-c7ff5d43ab82.gif
Bitch, move.
bitch
↓
58cf1eba-7484-4bf5-b1cf-ecaf71c522ea.gif
These assholes have way more stamina
assholes
↓
ad8201f8-78c5-4fe6-9d61-5ba6d35b8084.gif
for being assholes.
assholes
↓
919008ac-5442-4b93-9be6-31899cab05be.gif
Boys... Margo's gonna blow!
blowboys
↓
ae5a3f14-02d8-42e5-a9a7-d9ea0136ec2d.gif
Oh, look at that, a fart baby!
babyfart
↓
8c5e5591-1d56-42cc-a178-678574614039.gif
What the fuck?!
fuck
↓
982b8cd6-f54d-4597-a8ad-646161ad0fe1.gif
- Oh my God. - False alarm. Just another baby.
alarmanotheranother-babybabyfalsefalse-alarm
↓
e66acd5e-10cb-42c6-a2dc-1712bbc1c7fc.gif
Get that fart baby a beer!
babybeerfart
↓
b313bb16-9131-40b4-9261-fe2f315c63ed.gif
Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!
chug
↓
e9f2b7a9-8213-47ef-a667-ba5c62ef3fe3.gif
Is that kid gonna be okay?
↓
af4b94bc-31a4-4dda-9d04-bd74fab5efbd.gif
Fart Baby? Yeah, man. He will be if he parties.
babyfartparties
↓
39da60fd-e417-4c33-a922-5d6046854768.gif
- Fart Baby party! - Dude, this has gotten out of hand.
babyfartgottenhandparty
↓
23f2466d-2409-4f60-a223-c821e3dbc28c.gif
Yeah, we gotta bounce before we turn into even bigger assholes.
assholesbiggerbounce
↓
1eb53aaf-69ba-4b9c-9b7a-3fcfbc72ca56.gif
What's this talk about leavin'?
↓
f8bca293-bd05-47e7-b98c-3ecd91f24901.gif
Yeah, we're having a good time, right?
having
↓
eb42e386-238e-4f8d-a148-8361286b56a0.gif
Kind of feels like we aren't free to go.
feelsfree
↓
a0401dab-3cdc-4a6f-8c14-6a4898d6e777.gif
- Isn't that technically a rule? - Nah, man.
ruletechnically
↓
76332a73-d526-4672-a605-6699c6a99179.gif
Besides, all that's out there is that shitty-ass town.
besidesshittytown
↓
8b2f7f46-b654-4d7e-ab58-20b06df8a058.gif
- We just need to call our grandpa. - No phone calls.
callsgrandpaphonephone-calls
↓
4b3b0980-0018-4a14-825f-5e2cc43098d9.gif
Okay. I'm sorry, but see, that's two rules.
rules
↓
840178e8-559d-42e7-8bdf-ddcae06a6a2d.gif
Fuck that shit. You guys took an oath to rage,
fuckoathrage
↓
e09ba54b-ce91-44af-9a35-700d889cf84d.gif
and now you want to skip out on one?
skip
↓
5a10f251-7674-438b-9a60-bddbabc8ebfe.gif
Yeah, I'm starting to get a real lame vibe from these two.
lamerealstartingvibe
↓
32146b85-692e-4397-969a-873358452aeb.gif
And you saw the dead pile of lame people, right?
deadlamepile
↓
af23f222-1dc3-4b15-945a-100c27f0eebe.gif
Oh, now look what you did.
↓
99df061d-114d-42a6-b4fb-4513d660f285.gif
Fart Baby's crying.
babyscryingfart
↓
8b486d06-0fae-4f46-83f2-ea78f6f9be36.gif
It's okay, Fart Baby.
babyfart
↓
a3d3eafc-4039-4621-9a91-de094a14d087.gif
They're not going anywhere.
↓
567baac7-3a2d-4dec-89a4-692cfde657d1.gif
They're gonna rage.
rage
↓
779430e9-4be3-41a3-ba80-affbd710eb3a.gif
Oh, no, no. We're cool.
cool
↓
2f3c744a-7a65-4ee5-80a6-15ef6e7ed686.gif
Then prove it.
prove
↓
8a0a6100-4c84-46ed-9275-3e2de3091124.gif
I wish we hadn't given beer to that baby.
babybeergivenwish
↓
51e17a7f-24b3-4d37-b36a-abaeba719365.gif
Oh, Beth, I had the strangest dream
bethdream
↓
85e26049-a23c-43de-9daf-71d5c2123bf4.gif
we got high forever.
forever
↓
ac9f3694-b5a8-49f3-b0f7-6b5ff730af6c.gif
Yeah, this makes a lot more sense.
makessense
↓
7273942b-84e9-4c2f-8955-35e7f33c5040.gif
Honey, how long have we been here?
honey
↓
4ebabab0-7cb4-4cc4-a749-573fd437a1fd.gif
Couple days? Couple weeks?
couplecouple-dayscouple-weeksdaysweeks
↓
fbc44901-0c5b-4940-a41a-9a631a5eb7fd.gif
This store planet has an artificial sky.
artificialplanetstore
↓
d926566a-3116-47f2-b871-514ec87ef189.gif
Jerry, look!
jerry
↓
71d4329f-db80-411e-b219-38cd577dfea3.gif
Damn it! It's in jail with the deodorant.
deodorantjail
↓
50cdaa23-82cc-4166-8a4c-1a5e22f3c2aa.gif
Paging associate. Please wait.
associatepaging
↓
568dda5c-27ed-47bd-ad25-0b529f2c5173.gif
Okay, he's on his way.
↓
6f85e09c-2a88-4bb5-bf30-af458a77927d.gif
Paging associate. Please wait.
associatepaging
↓
e2314dab-9c1d-4094-81bf-ac365841ed18.gif
Paging associate. Please wait.
associatepaging
↓
33ae937d-a408-49aa-8405-414fba9319e9.gif
Because he was a bus ride away. Right.
ride
↓
aff14c87-4892-4d25-9ade-171ef6923e01.gif
The whole planet is a mall.
mallplanetwhole
↓
9dc1d80a-9561-4818-b95a-a9a79d01ddff.gif
- Paging associate. Please wait. - I hope he gets here soon.
associatehopepaging
↓
eb6db760-0e5c-456d-9e71-50e469ce8f92.gif
- Oh my God. - Oh.
↓
17fe7e7f-d417-4801-8dc9-87700d036ac0.gif
- He's at an airport. - Paging associate. Please wait.
airportassociatepaging
↓
d830b956-0e2d-439a-bd6a-50fe748b4e73.gif
- Connecting flight?! - I can't take this anymore!
anymoreconnectingflight
↓
098e748a-48c6-4841-ac90-6f1ec42cedab.gif
Hey, stop right there!
↓
041e498d-589b-48a2-b52c-62958fe92bae.gif
- Oh! - Yes!
↓
d1229180-c402-4193-bdba-5309ad8ef4e4.gif
Did it work?
↓
cf46dd5f-b234-465a-9acb-accde1e7fdac.gif
Are we un-high?
↓
cf7c3ce3-5c76-4076-a49b-6ab05646ca12.gif
We have too few hearts, Jerry.
heartsjerry
↓
a2e83f4d-3a16-4c56-8da4-5d69905a726d.gif
Too few hearts!
hearts
↓
2a0b9568-15db-4d95-ad76-c1a00882afe6.gif
- Beth, I called Rick. - What?!
bethcalledrick
↓
643e6845-bd34-42f2-ab3a-f23c8d05141a.gif
You have a cosmic safety net for a dad.
cosmicsafety
↓
84e1a3e2-2266-41a7-9758-e339db9c6752.gif
Embrace it.
embrace
↓
1d0127e3-5b7d-493b-9984-7d3e828660db.gif
Well, that makes me feel like a baby.
babymakes
↓
b267c037-4ba2-4fe9-8191-d6bb3fc69e8c.gif
It's okay to be a baby sometimes.
babysometimes
↓
37573c5d-f957-47e8-8d47-9eb370e53058.gif
I've been a baby our entire marriage.
babyentiremarriage
↓
e0f63b58-5cb7-473b-8194-96b5f4416d7c.gif
But we should all get a turn.
↓
9612f1f5-9a13-4122-9f7f-86d1e9f797f5.gif
Well...
↓
bd83280a-fd14-42d0-8697-144c908abe0c.gif
Well, I did have fun.
fun
↓
cf414761-752d-4ce1-9a49-0fd9e0891b37.gif
Me too.
↓
54bdaef5-31a1-4469-b3f4-02327a1df12d.gif
Oh, now I'm invited to hang.
hanginvited
↓
618b7120-344e-434f-a8bc-179587cd5008.gif
Oh, everyone wants Grandpa's help,
grandpaswants
↓
8462f6cb-5277-4213-ac5f-d36d36ffc790.gif
but nobody wants Grandpa.
grandpanobodynobody-wantswants
↓
fa7c154a-eb58-4c24-a8ea-f2b6a74af531.gif
If we had a car, I'd roll the windows up.
rollwindows
↓
3d6c0ec0-e7eb-4388-94e8-e55ffd7262a5.gif
Bars have phones, right?
barsphones
↓
bdd3d3ea-e80d-4b51-b29c-03bbf12ec861.gif
Well, woo!
↓
0078c0f5-b73d-4dc1-ba2f-d0e68f0014e3.gif
Look who came down the mountain
mountain
↓
5333733a-203a-4b4f-a3b3-458a38024bf3.gif
to grace us with their presence.
gracepresence
↓
f81a2581-1b24-4cfd-b55d-fda81126fa28.gif
I didn't think you camp assholes
assholescamp
↓
066c22d3-68eb-4784-a37c-cc073125cff2.gif
ever left your bubble.
bubbleleft
↓
47ca4af2-6fd6-44e6-87c4-9a6244d6a7ce.gif
Who gives a shit, lady?
giveslady
↓
a233c364-1017-4689-8801-7e6782688884.gif
This may be a literal matter of life and death.
deathlifeliteralmatter
↓
7b2696e4-f6ce-4600-a836-e757ed5d8a45.gif
Can we phone our grandfather?
grandfatherphone
↓
89ce479b-c595-480d-98b3-53032cc938bb.gif
Did not hear a "please."
↓
18e35da7-524d-44a5-a6f8-17e371e11a3d.gif
- Bitch, oh my God! - Fine, please!
bitch
↓
878ce6a2-2162-4869-b7da-8e610f196420.gif
"Bitch"? Excuse me?
bitchexcuse
↓
774f75a3-5bda-47bb-9481-1ed20f5777fa.gif
I don't think you can reclaim words,
words
↓
bbbf5f5b-f398-4698-8d74-791272b57320.gif
so I don't appreciate that. One call.
appreciate
↓
7e4fc71d-67ed-47f0-8d28-3cce2a04a617.gif
Oh my God, thank you so much.
↓
4689e521-f195-4abb-8e2b-a9294b4e74e0.gif
- What's his number? - Twelve.
numbertwelve
↓
df1e5b96-ec70-43df-b164-2ea5653fe439.gif
Twelve? That's a phone number?
numberphonephone-numbertwelve
↓
d600cc79-317f-4e23-b01b-1794bfa59633.gif
Grandpa Rick, you need to come get us!
grandparick
↓
4e6fc537-83c6-441f-9a4f-011db156090a.gif
The campers killed the guards and counselors,
counselorsguardskilled
↓
0d1138ee-073e-4324-924a-6670a722ed40.gif
and now they're living it up by themselves and won't let us leave,
living
↓
20d2ee64-c6fc-46a1-a33a-347babea4ac0.gif
and I know it seems like we've learned nothing
learnedseems
↓
d9480e89-f1d2-4fab-8724-451f2ee81115.gif
but we're done being spoiled assholes.
assholesspoiled
↓
4411968d-f1de-441e-ba97-b8c3e51a2e67.gif
Here's the thing.
↓
7761c490-943d-4b42-9e5c-22b3511e1706.gif
Rick? Hello?
rick
↓
95b9c96b-cc6c-499f-852b-aaef062a1a59.gif
Bye.
↓
8241705f-42a8-4170-a1ac-0e27b7f9c30b.gif
Okay, what the fuck?
fuck
↓
e19301a1-78c7-4e34-a2c8-5e84fb913656.gif
Couldn't help but hear there's a load of rich kids
kidsloadrich
↓
7d4ac661-e057-4ab0-b5c7-4b1d8a5f3234.gif
up at that camp completely unsupervised.
campcompletelyunsupervised
↓
fcc337d3-283d-4bab-9ff5-ec3046a4c350.gif
Oh, not sure if there's a reason everyone needs to know that.
needsreason
↓
cc8c2d25-a8ae-486f-ba26-9825456c5f58.gif
Oh, there is.
↓
5ce83f46-43b8-4d2d-acf2-5b112ca5c06a.gif
It's visiting day.
visiting
↓
f8c09a7d-829b-4c9d-a1c3-d4888bec274d.gif
For our guns.
guns
↓
b0293ab3-ba08-4da1-9b8d-f0ce3873c9e5.gif
Am I high or are the kids in danger?
dangerkids
↓
41fa582c-4fad-42e5-b00b-3f97273a516f.gif
Both.
↓
78ce89d9-baa3-42d5-ba4f-ab0d333c9906.gif
We're being punished by the universe.
punisheduniverse
↓
1b9a0cce-a9f5-466d-ad0f-e96edd973ec0.gif
Beth, slap me. It'll sober me up.
bethitllslapsober
↓
40095644-40b9-45ed-a1e9-bbc0027a6a80.gif
Ow! Ow!
↓
33b47dec-4160-4797-9dde-c7708e801535.gif
Did you see how I went up and back down?
↓
56758fd9-448d-4b65-9aa1-f983ff6b8838.gif
Dad, we need to save the kids in a way
kidssave
↓
f0e1c06b-c17a-4217-b0c3-5453c46d5b96.gif
where they think we're not fuckups they can just blow off.
blow
↓
f6d09c9a-c872-41ab-925f-c27159ace46d.gif
Okay, okay, just give me a sec.
↓
b47ece40-a895-4ff6-b633-44e8e036fd34.gif
- Dad! - Am I not standing yet?
standing
↓
45ab167a-f13e-4f5b-856c-d4397296bfd8.gif
Why are you so dense?
↓
624576c1-7ed7-461d-9839-e6450c236417.gif
Carry the two...
carry
↓
d74e2277-fe24-459a-b979-1d4e74804317.gif
All right. All right.
↓
90710fed-caf1-465d-a3ac-9566becc7eec.gif
Kids, ho!
kids
↓
898690bc-db04-4380-8249-f9e8606f098b.gif
Ow. Did it work?
↓
80eb5b24-cdcc-4c6e-8d87-3dc37897ef0e.gif
Are you Rick?
rick
↓
56a5ceb7-2620-4358-8c53-8d2cafd81b6b.gif
Yes.
↓
3e8a4a8f-3059-46bf-91b8-0996b202ea7e.gif
The same Rick we just pushed through?
pushedrick
↓
4b5e764d-0237-46c2-a40e-01beda8dc619.gif
Oh God.
↓
148f1fa2-bb94-45b3-8029-adf72b815b51.gif
Is this where the kids are?
kids
↓
8bcfa0ec-7219-4cdb-b128-286a377a822d.gif
I'm too fuckin' high for this.
fuckin
↓
d7f689ca-113a-48d0-9ffc-49f2d0d80a79.gif
We pushed you through...
pushed
↓
bd8abc6f-6a4c-4d98-9a73-019cdcd45c00.gif
and you came out.
↓
ca587302-672b-48a3-b449-7b7f97bf555e.gif
Do you feel different?
↓
7021a42f-b3b0-4c92-b932-7d9071629edf.gif
I don't know.
↓
3a3ed943-6652-4787-a7b2-49401ee6bb39.gif
Do I?
↓
c2db0491-f113-4db6-803e-00306e9ec04c.gif
Okey dokey, artichokey.
dokeyokeyokey-dokey
↓
914dfae3-f10d-4ec7-9797-11402d4e9fa5.gif
It's ransom time.
ransom
↓
5e6342e3-a823-4465-a5bd-b050e2d9d4b6.gif
We googled your parents, and I gotta tell you something,
googledparents
↓
0d69d180-38f9-46dd-ab47-5e299e68144f.gif
you kids are some real silver spoon fucks.
fuckskidsrealsilverspoon
↓
d023fc72-2845-4ac3-8c6c-87dc96c72988.gif
Except for you two, you two aren't rich at all.
exceptrich
↓
1516e0ef-85e8-4a76-a6af-bd1d39e72d40.gif
- Ouch. - Hurtful.
hurtfulouch
↓
cc7c81f7-f5c5-4e82-a8c6-388fb084e89c.gif
What'll be "hurtful" is if we don't get our money!
hurtfulmoneywhatll
↓
948dd025-a6ef-4baa-987d-829fa55a2352.gif
So you better pray Mommy and Daddy pick up the phone.
daddymommyphonepickpray
↓
66086281-0a6e-4d8e-ae23-2e58f7245961.gif
Yeah? Let's hit it, boys.
boys
↓
2a020749-1586-495d-9fff-8bce3b5464aa.gif
We're screwed!
screwed
↓
d565d6e4-611f-4b0d-b883-7f5fa8009796.gif
Someone's folks will pay up, and we'll be out of here in no time.
folkssomeones
↓
2cf55d2f-77e4-412d-b558-e22451f39dc2.gif
You don't know that.
↓
f5875a9d-8b2e-4b9a-a8af-d5bc9c3e7da3.gif
All of our parents left us here
leftparents
↓
028455e9-16a2-4905-9d3d-aa72beeec3c0.gif
'cause we're spoiled pieces of shit.
piecesspoiled
↓
ae754f43-1511-4d09-876a-7ef0a9f6a572.gif
Maybe they aren't ever coming back.
coming
↓
9f0fec92-633b-4c49-94fb-4282cd139ba8.gif
Oh, thank Christ.
christ
↓
f645f624-a440-4857-9b43-ed17a00d38f3.gif
It's different.
↓
bfa733ce-4a40-4655-82e0-0ec239f5db69.gif
Wow, it is.
↓
2df4d22c-08cb-44d7-a05d-d45d34beffa5.gif
Hey, Morty! You're here.
morty
↓
cf61c382-9928-4d8c-bbf2-0d62225a72cc.gif
Rick, get us out of this nightmare.
nightmarerick
↓
2e9faed1-cc0d-493c-ad05-a07eb5d0d161.gif
Sure thing, Morty.
morty
↓
6d9be1df-61c0-464f-8a92-a935823cd5e5.gif
Morty.
morty
↓
aec2f273-76f1-44b8-9954-35df584ce601.gif
- I like that. - What the--
↓
40e7d70f-6eb4-4c5a-a150-46f924bc90c3.gif
Quit messing around.
messingquit
↓
20a22e7b-60da-47dc-83ac-1130d681c95b.gif
Where's the portal gun?
portal
↓
8c922a19-b1f0-45d1-8d7d-d232b255c778.gif
I think I... I think I left it in the shopping cart.
cartleftshopping
↓
57451fa5-1063-4f3e-9de3-6aa328984d82.gif
- What? - Did you guys smoke
smoke
↓
5a2e2434-0d30-4425-8c02-c997793b6d66.gif
my High Forever?
forever
↓
4e69a8bd-66e6-435b-bb00-4f63e2a2d188.gif
Look at me. Look at me.
↓
c0ee1846-e87f-464a-8aac-3d8d0acdff16.gif
You can't get angry, Summer.
angrysummer
↓
8337d0d0-c16e-4e0c-af5c-3e5fb6d3061c.gif
I gave it to you. Probably.
↓
35ed0093-2cd7-457f-8425-7fd137badc08.gif
- Oh my God! - Wow. They're out of their gourds.
↓
81af8fcd-5afe-46fc-a184-8548da547e95.gif
We are zooted.
↓
1c8ad398-fb97-4b12-961f-dd2e5b330a60.gif
This is why we've been acting out.
acting
↓
3e547556-7515-4e9a-bcc7-4145bb4b7cd9.gif
Because we have absolute psychos as role models.
absolutemodelsrole
↓
452877b5-68b5-4de7-b751-cd23b4c13edb.gif
You guys are bad parents.
parents
↓
915f79ef-d741-497f-a529-c00f3fee7689.gif
Boo!
↓
54291d56-017f-4f54-90f9-751897c0fab1.gif
This version of everyone's mean.
everyonesversion
↓
22024f63-018d-4a2b-b0e9-b2ee27747a23.gif
You know what? That man over there is the smartest man in the universe,
smartestuniverse
↓
6203c074-89ba-4121-b04f-8b0893734726.gif
and he always bails us out.
↓
0ec71969-9e78-44ae-9b39-03483993287f.gif
But he ain't bailing out shit right now.
aintbailing
↓
7d084776-05a4-485d-bfa7-5b575240c33b.gif
We need to save ourselves.
save
↓
66552658-8c99-4c6f-9245-73fb4460dbf8.gif
Now put that affluenza to good use
↓
3ce24db3-07cd-4e1c-8dac-e9041842069d.gif
and be the campers who took over this camp.
camp
↓
b85dd43d-ec66-4f05-b339-df04bed40e4b.gif
Great speech, Summer.
speechsummer
↓
27f9aaf1-2bd2-4c42-b572-0b0880c7504c.gif
You think so? I tried to keep it tight.
tighttried
↓
eda01027-c813-4c9e-bce7-53674ae0df46.gif
No, no. It felt good. I'm fired up.
fired
↓
ae07822a-938a-45a3-8639-78050315a778.gif
If we could just get to the archery shed.
shed
↓
976f8721-dd60-4b89-8150-fca637dcf7a5.gif
We just need a distraction.
distraction
↓
bca2e2b5-8e07-4e93-a765-9301ed7f81be.gif
Can't believe these kids had access to bidets
accessbelievekids
↓
5880dbdb-c7e4-4b36-adc2-eea17807cf4e.gif
and didn't think to use them.
↓
79c3dcc0-cf38-42e3-bb83-1d684f444522.gif
I really hate standing guard.
guardhatestanding
↓
de953f0b-949f-4f53-b9e5-30fc776620b7.gif
I want to get back to powerwashing my asshole.
asshole
↓
02dec6b1-1339-45bf-9716-de5dc81f6bd9.gif
Huh?
↓
be4eb877-6094-4139-ac78-34de777222f7.gif
Look, pal, don't know how you got here,
↓
2a375c1e-69c4-402d-b1ce-8ecc5a6bac39.gif
but you are clearly lost.
lost
↓
996c3afd-836e-4d11-a530-bc1711836301.gif
Fuckin' die, you stupid bitch.
bitchfuckinstupidstupid-bitch
↓
0924c774-9fde-4b4b-ba95-e6c4d56e7b8b.gif
Jesus Christ! He's so high he's walkin' through people!
christjesusjesus-christwalkin
↓
db0c8889-f36f-4a02-8400-00d19799e682.gif
Goddamn, maybe I could have just yelled
goddamnyelled
↓
be181a18-3f28-4a99-8d24-a7b2efb1a387.gif
"Over there!" or something?
↓
6859aa1e-b543-4b70-b7bc-239c2bc9e1cd.gif
Let's take back this camp... again.
camp
↓
45e620d9-15b1-406a-a120-f92750c07b3f.gif
Headshot!
↓
c34a01dd-181c-4768-a754-fd917e7d8dca.gif
Rad.
↓
7aa99bc2-a6fe-4baa-b939-1e5c6891facf.gif
Jesus! I'm saying
jesus
↓
7e1d971d-e9ff-42d6-a68d-212e0bc74da4.gif
I have captured your child.
capturedchild
↓
d9492f17-159b-485d-a5fc-e9ee07fdf86c.gif
Be more worried!
worried
↓
6ad090d5-8530-4e59-9dd4-56e88454371a.gif
Oh, that's good to hear he's still having a nice time at camp.
camphaving
↓
a5adf006-8e3b-4290-bbf2-6dfb9cd2b498.gif
Hello? Oh my-- They-- Click?
click
↓
3f95a0d1-67ca-4628-b4b0-7b051f2f70ef.gif
Click? I'll click you! That motherfucker hung up.
clickhungmotherfucker
↓
da6651ab-b70f-4df4-9d55-4be6bf3cd522.gif
Do not just stand there. Get him!
stand
↓
141e4905-9d96-4de7-9576-d027dc9acdf6.gif
Oh God! I'm only one guy.
↓
c03474d4-32a1-4cbd-8b52-78d20a851f08.gif
I already got hit with an arrow!
arrow
↓
83660d80-47ae-4220-bc79-b6a02b60c39e.gif
Why is this so triumphant?
triumphant
↓
152a056a-aeea-42d5-8460-a06541e6862a.gif
- Mom! - Mom!
↓
32601774-a131-43fc-8b42-c7ac90d34810.gif
Put the bows down slowly.
slowly
↓
6ad14747-9050-44be-b2fe-3232960d564b.gif
Jerry, tell me you see that.
jerry
↓
79316d2c-32e6-429e-898a-f955c25ceed5.gif
Oh, look, there's more over there.
↓
6c6a99b7-d153-4447-9d52-9714a49c8005.gif
What's going on? What are they doing?
↓
5565412e-543a-445a-b519-530e95e14a0e.gif
Ow!
↓
9971a7c8-1290-4189-b1f9-90e272d58d3e.gif
Damn it. "Look over there" would have worked.
worked
↓
d3e673b7-28e8-4ce7-837b-ff769a56409d.gif
All right, all right! Dial it down.
dial
↓
ccda909b-a425-4322-9e65-4acf059ece61.gif
I'm surrendering. I know when I'm beat.
beat
↓
18ae6f51-6b65-4bd2-a923-d7d50079410c.gif
Fuckin' A right. See ya.
fuckin
↓
1a7f0678-081f-444a-83e1-095b56722a51.gif
Whoa, guys! We won!
whoa
↓
798ee07e-d6a1-4555-aab9-5b522a33c8f3.gif
Jesus, these rich kids are nutballs.
jesuskidsrich
↓
19b976ed-b636-465f-9563-3ac73ed619f8.gif
See what I mean? We're the same.
↓
8f5a5100-b2f2-4159-92d5-4442f379e9a9.gif
I wouldn't go that far.
↓
c5273a9d-afc3-45f8-8384-d6b01bca7030.gif
Won't he drown?
drown
↓
0d5e156b-8421-444d-8ac2-ccec5d58f51f.gif
Nah, he'll be fine.
↓
18079db1-4cb6-4f64-93a8-c601c7126cdd.gif
Might even sober him up.
mightsober
↓
3992444b-5bd9-4780-bebd-ea0c178c441a.gif
Dad, I want you to meet Fart Baby.
babyfartmeet
↓
510f69a5-a8cd-4dee-8af4-e45a3c515e91.gif
It only drinks beer.
beerdrinks
↓
c67fd868-6fd9-4805-9009-05f9c89455ae.gif
Thanks for coming to pick us up, Space Mom.
comingpickspacethanks
↓
58bba288-59a4-4c7a-a7d1-b5b0c66779a3.gif
Yeah, yeah. No problem.
problem
↓
4104240f-e82b-43c3-9f76-b06190d50d73.gif
Let's get out of this camp that didn't work at all.
camp
↓
1e94b5ae-04e6-4fc1-adc1-9fbc1ab2ffca.gif
Is that Bill fucking Pullman?
billfucking
↓
c02fe56c-ad18-4f1e-ae68-b53205be3ad2.gif
Maybe this was good for all of us.
↓
d944f3e1-36e9-4b52-8ea0-fa0def7b2b77.gif
Maybe it will chill us all out.
chill
↓
049c93da-406b-4801-aed2-72d67016821b.gif
Shut up. Don't tell your parents how to parent.
parentparents
↓
2ed29675-b8e9-4191-acac-1a4643299da4.gif
I want Del Taco now!
taco
↓
a86ec06f-2cd3-4885-b8c8-dda34e7cc117.gif
How long does this high even last?
↓
1ebe50ef-845d-4074-8001-a2159daa9ce6.gif
- Forever! - That's just the name, Mom.
forevername
↓
18f8bb73-9391-456f-ad09-ae2bb542bb85.gif
Should be normal... in a few days.
daysnormal
↓
10b8932a-c723-4c6f-8737-539898bdb84c.gif
Summer, did they take that stuff I gave you for a rainy day?
stuffsummer
↓
c031574c-a69d-4123-ab45-a7d7ab2f9039.gif
Why don't you fuck us anymore?
anymorefuck
↓
aa6c1ed5-ff6e-4356-bf17-90fa05523816.gif
Yeah! We had a good thing going.
↓
ec182592-8291-4083-bc7f-25196c9cfc92.gif
Del Taco!
taco
↓
4570ac65-f932-4f0a-b2eb-05dbefa950f2.gif
The one Dawn works at.
dawnworks
↓
8e6fc7cd-1a72-49a7-b0e0-22eb5f498358.gif
- Fucking throuple us. - Come on.
fuckingthrouple
↓
b64390c6-7edc-4330-abef-8d942e6d4d35.gif
We're gonna see Dawn!
dawn
↓
4ef038eb-1ed1-441f-9a74-051c71777681.gif
This ride is all the scared straight we need.
ridescaredstraight
↓
397891bb-e9f0-4caa-be63-08e7883a3bf7.gif
Kids these days love two things:
dayskidslove
↓
2c479b4b-58de-4d0f-b4b2-1fe8969ae9fa.gif
the latest trends and animals selling vices.
animalslatestselling
↓
12865bcc-4e33-41f4-8164-9b59ed6db6c9.gif
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you "Cool Horse."
coolgentlemenhorseladies
↓
556102cb-38c3-47b1-af1b-aa725f453594.gif
Just fucking do it already!
fucking
↓
d460a2a1-56a4-49a6-8ed7-6a85c2e3fee8.gif
The horse does seem cool.
coolhorse
↓
d1132e01-042c-4068-9bc4-bc50cd9205be.gif
Did you get any of that?