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Home » Rick and Morty » S09E02 — Ricks Days, Seven Nights

Rick and Morty

Season 9, Episode 2 — Ricks Days, Seven Nights

TMDB episode metadata
Show: Rick and Morty
Episode title: Ricks Days, Seven Nights
Air date: May 31, 2026
Director: Brian Kaufman
Top billed cast: Chris Parnell, Spencer Grammer, Sarah Chalke, Ian Cardoni, Harry Belden
You try being Rick all the time, broh.
Source: TMDB
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There he is.
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Knew I'd get a handsome man in here if I waited around long enough.
handsomewaited
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Had to patch a tire out on County Line.
countylinepatchtire
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Too good for a tow?
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Too impatient.
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You city folk. Always in a hurry.
cityfolkhurry
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By God, look who it is!
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-He's back! -Hey!
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Welcome back, brother!
brotherwelcome
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1488a813-e7ed-421a-a191-f618a00d45a6.gif
Don't know why I ever leave. A place to bowl, a place to fish.
bowlfishplace
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And a beer to hold doing it!
beer
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Best friends!
bestbest-friendsfriends
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We love you, Ted!
love
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Ted!
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You still selling PVC?
selling
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How's-how's business down there?
business
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Good enough to get me back up here.
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Think you could put in a word?
word
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Son, you don't wanna sell pipe.
pipesell
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He just wants to lay some.
wants
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Good to have you back, brother.
brother
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8b877bce-de45-4647-997b-082a40514e4a.gif
Split a sixer?
split
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Marjorie's keeping the place open late now?
keepinglateopenplace
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Yeah. Her mother passed a few months back.
monthsmotherpassed
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Don't think she wants to go home.
homewants
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Everybody's runnin' from something.
everybodysrunnin
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How's Luisa? She still kick you out of bed
kick
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-when you drink? -Yep.
drink
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Might as well keep drinking.
drinkingmight
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Open the register and gimme your wallet!
openregisterwallet
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No, no, no.
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-Teddy? -Hello. There's a robbery.
robberyteddy
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I think this guy's having a heart attack.
attackhavingheartheart-attack
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Ted, where you going?
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224041d4-ccd6-4c5d-8136-2127549a645a.gif
Hey! The cops are coming.
comingcops
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Ted! Teddy!
teddy
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23a9d94d-3054-457b-82db-b5f256dc71d7.gif
This guy's dying in here!
dying
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ee6dc729-6d7a-4d41-8280-efaf3928f684.gif
-Alright, well, shit. -What the hell? What the hell?!
alright
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Looks like you learned some things about your body.
bodylearned
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I'll make this simple, Ted.
simple
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You're not a PVC salesman from two states south.
salesmansouthstates
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You're the smartest man who's ever lived,
livedsmartest
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and you were born 400 light-years away.
bornlightyears
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You're on Beloi-6E.
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It's a primitive planet with good country music
countrycountry-musicmusicplanetprimitive
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and a shit-ton of snow, real early '90s Earth vibes.
earlyearthrealsnowvibes
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92b8c8fa-cb7f-44d8-ad11-e373ae6e5266.gif
They're 100 years from first contact,
contactyears
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so they don't know who I am, who you are.
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Which is the whole point.
pointwholewhole-point
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131f4e30-719c-42f8-aabf-36da0cbcbcc0.gif
You think it's fun to be a god, Ted?
fun
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4a51188c-c3a5-4b27-abb0-cecf98eec1c8.gif
You think God's nipples get hard when he murders a fish?
fishgodshardmurdersnipples
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Th-That's why every summer
summer
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I take two weeks off and come here.
weeks
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beee2a18-b894-4b9d-bbfc-af23bcde5163.gif
I wipe my brain and pull all but my survival tech.
brainpullsurvivaltechwipe
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I go home with the peace of mind stupid people get
homemindpeacestupid
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from watching Kevin Costner movies.
kevinmovieswatching
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So, look, if you're seeing this because shit's gone sideways,
goneseeingshitssideways
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hit the red button to be me again.
button
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If everything's cool, hit the blue button
bluebuttoncooleverythings
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to clear this from your memory and enjoy the rest of your trip.
clearenjoymemoryresttrip
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Okay, Morty, that's a wrap on
mortywrap
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"If you've been messing with my tech."
messingtech
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Let's run the Taken scenarios.
scenariostaken
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You here about the dishwasher job?
dishwasher
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Shit, you're a popsicle.
popsicle
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You know me, right?
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I'd sure like to think so.
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I mean it. How could you?
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I'm just some guy who shows up every year.
shows
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904d4151-b67b-4cba-8e7c-babaed0d0b22.gif
Well, something keeps you coming back here.
comingkeeps
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Lay back. I got a surprise for you.
surprise
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dec71723-5d26-44de-8efd-e0c80ec21a58.gif
Got this set up since your last visit.
visit
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17f391b8-195a-4c4e-9f45-eca60ea584ae.gif
It's nice.
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4f6a49a3-0ff2-454f-bbc6-03f8a479e16e.gif
Haven't really found occasion to use it.
foundoccasion
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44355baa-3a33-4537-99ca-300deb618f7e.gif
Thanks for giving me one.
givingthanks
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I don't mind the company.
companymind
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You still have that spare room in back?
roomspare
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40b7d207-13aa-4121-ac4d-7c82407a9851.gif
I don't want to sleep in the RV.
sleep
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43342436-a127-4343-97d2-3016861f25d2.gif
Don't go.
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6fba1d2d-cd4c-4163-8459-49260f5a3c39.gif
I'm not gonna.
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42a6c3d4-6c09-4ca1-8301-aee73e412f9a.gif
Okay, obviously, you're seeing this hologram
obviouslyseeing
↓
28b4266d-99ec-4254-a919-cf7ab75c3c84.gif
because you ignored the instructions from the last one.
ignoredinstructions
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f97e9c36-57ed-4fec-9ccf-9a2dec988c7b.gif
If you're seeing this hologram, you decided to ignore the hologram.
decidedignoreseeing
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805c313a-5335-4509-8b18-302559fc4b04.gif
It'd mean you went pretty rogue.
rogue
↓
943e3156-f58d-488c-a08e-c53f393a25a2.gif
So just a gentle reminder,
gentlereminder
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you're not a real person, you're me.
personrealreal-person
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You're permanently fucking up your vacation spot,
fuckingpermanentlyspotvacation
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which hurts you more than it hurts me.
hurts
↓
824496c3-a6fb-4247-80a8-c46c821b2d68.gif
Though, in all honesty, we're both getting hurt pretty severely...
honestyhurtseverely
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Ted, one of these days, you gotta come up in July.
daysjuly
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I caught a muskie last summer came about up to my neck.
caughtnecksummer
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862a8ecc-a23c-4a8c-b895-efbe26f8f8e6.gif
-Stop lying to the man. -No fish in this lake.
fishlakelying
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Actually, thought I might stick around this year.
mightstick
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c4e31b81-5102-4f7c-b5cb-1d56fc86b554.gif
-See the thaw. -For real, Teddy?
realteddy
↓
a5700057-c433-4461-b6ee-693f9f18bc98.gif
You're gonna... You're gonna stay?
↓
867dda67-678b-4907-b811-0cb179caa746.gif
What about your company?
company
↓
c34a8b8e-3378-4051-9019-adc2a5020938.gif
Doesn't seem real.
real
↓
6803108b-ca48-4e4c-9ba1-d7f779af6de3.gif
It's like I've been pretending I go somewhere when I leave,
pretending
↓
4b7ac265-d09c-47b7-bce7-fa25faae9025.gif
but I think I only exist when I'm here.
exist
↓
984c9292-edb4-4fb5-820f-50288ddef8ac.gif
Like this is literally the only place I'm actually alive.
aliveplace
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32d6bf6f-69f0-4276-9cb1-d668227c89d3.gif
Does that... make sense?
sense
↓
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Good thing nobody's driving tonight.
drivingnobodystonight
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60df9ce8-2de2-461f-8465-41b0d6ec042d.gif
Hey!
↓
f1df7597-e91b-47cd-bbdf-b6154da61371.gif
Fuck me.
fuck
↓
ab975f20-9eca-4663-b4cb-2abfec2a8ab3.gif
-Hello? Rick? Rick! -Who is this?
rick
↓
623699bc-1058-4b1c-8fe9-23dc3e4fa4e3.gif
I'm really gonna get in trouble for this.
trouble
↓
1b54e213-4bad-4801-990a-95ac293f50c2.gif
How are you calling my leg?
calling
↓
1acfeae4-d80e-46b0-8c0d-efc7098f9bfc.gif
I'm not supposed to ever use the leg phone,
phonesupposed
↓
339824b8-c3f9-4933-ad01-a7ee4cb50027.gif
but I-I just need you to get in the egg.
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2391302c-a626-4fa0-aace-b922915b0d50.gif
Don't pick a fight with yourself, okay?
fightpick
↓
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I just want to get you home before anything worse happens.
happenshomeworse
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Nothing's worse than finding out I'm some character
characterfindingnothingsworse
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that asshole plays, some costume he puts on to--
assholecostumeplays
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He doesn't need you alive to bring you home.
alivebringhome
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c18abe28-4979-45a5-a705-b60b9b5607b3.gif
It's not my home! I'm not him!
home
↓
d9453249-3ffb-4796-8af1-67c655a5c730.gif
You are. I mean, I agree with you.
agree
↓
1dd14a2c-bba3-4583-9c00-17dbd8998f47.gif
He can be kind of a dick, but y'know, this...
dickyknow
↓
85abe45d-be0d-4661-b5e3-ac96f1bd37e7.gif
this is just how it is.
↓
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No! Help! Help!
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And if you could just hang up the leg phone?
hangphone
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I'll just... I'll never hear the end of it
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0b65ca9c-fab5-4e86-b68e-aba2d852065c.gif
if the leg phone gets lost.
lostphone
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914a8285-f186-419b-9647-bb7a1e27ad08.gif
Hello? Hello?
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Ted!
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Ted, are you okay?
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-Thank you. -What is this thing, Ted?
↓
68f2bbd4-e945-4ec2-aaff-44e97f8be8fd.gif
I'm not who you think I am.
↓
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Is this your ship from space?
shipspace
↓
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Your spaceship?
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dd93d4c1-c2c9-49fb-8c41-032ee599c92f.gif
It's his.
↓
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He's non-vacation me.
vacation
↓
ef1e1fc7-06ae-44eb-900d-7c096d155bdd.gif
I don't know him. And I don't want to.
↓
d4381f43-e3c0-4414-bcfd-d9542917b1be.gif
But this asshole's coming for me
assholescoming
↓
a0e2b8b3-093f-4b4b-9972-488fb2c31774.gif
and I don't intend to let him win.
intend
↓
e9508e53-32eb-4af6-ae79-6161e5f27565.gif
For the love of Pete.
lovepete
↓
dedf0f05-453b-473e-99e5-067bb145544b.gif
Do you understand what you're asking?
asking
↓
5c6807aa-7c30-4b3b-aa72-4d6f17939f69.gif
I wouldn't ask at all if there were any other way.
↓
22985843-5d5d-459b-8626-543f8672dc24.gif
Janice, Mary, I gotta send you home.
homemarysend
↓
4d717959-237a-49f4-95a2-b9da0bbe75ef.gif
We're closing early.
closingearly
↓
9d3e0439-b84c-48dc-8d3e-d3bbc105a245.gif
-Come on! -We're only three frames in!
three
↓
e0222eaf-ac4c-4547-8e52-ac710ac7acdd.gif
Thank you.
↓
c39ca7e9-e44f-41a2-a838-f280295344c4.gif
Nobody gonna take me seriously.
nobody
↓
fefc5784-249a-4072-b31e-fed852fc94e4.gif
Janice's gonna have her word...
word
↓
5fdc3821-97d6-48f8-ab9f-00111ad556a4.gif
Promise me you won't come back here tonight.
promisetonight
↓
282a12c1-7ce5-424d-9d62-bff5757966bf.gif
Always were dramatic.
dramatic
↓
2af70ec3-052f-4115-9c70-db1a4b914cab.gif
Promise.
promise
↓
52a9e1aa-aaa0-4050-aabc-7eeddc5993a6.gif
I just... Don't die in my bowling alley.
alleybowlingbowling-alley
↓
d29d7e22-aa6e-420e-b477-a4d808d0a8e9.gif
You hear me?
↓
85119cd3-0b62-4ecc-811c-195c58cbd62c.gif
Holy hell.
holy
↓
0aeff27f-2ff1-40a4-aca8-4f692459dffe.gif
-How's it going out there, Bowser? -All good.
↓
bb8e85ae-74b7-4a71-a6ff-ba2209b3a8ce.gif
Sprinklers, Antonio?
antonio
↓
8c4e73e7-0a06-4cab-b33e-4f10d0e9be5e.gif
Working on it. Little Mike?
mikeworking
↓
7bec19fb-f7e4-4617-a0dc-3201d5d36f3f.gif
Okay, Big Mike.
mike
↓
3879519c-e075-4c56-a524-aaf22065014e.gif
Now!
↓
85d15c48-b6e6-428a-92f0-b40900b23157.gif
We need those sprinklers, Antonio!
antonio
↓
c109f040-3d15-4a88-97c4-ae2aa2655c35.gif
It's not working.
working
↓
4cd7158a-54e7-4be7-a5f2-8e7ee4af034b.gif
-There's too many! -Fry 'em!
↓
8f437cb3-61af-469d-843f-50ed437da7b5.gif
Mike!
mike
↓
58414d0c-d5cc-4c21-ad68-da897bea73a9.gif
Follow me, ya drone bastards!
bastardsfollow
↓
5f8b8f81-8f26-48a3-bfab-a8faaee92436.gif
Teddy, drop!
dropteddy
↓
11f72be1-23c6-413b-8da1-7845dede7bf8.gif
-Yes! -Come on! Rack' em up!
rack
↓
d915eac7-f5eb-4a08-964a-962f728f395f.gif
Time for a beer!
beer
↓
8f10375e-d760-403d-8503-1dd548febaa0.gif
Fuck you, you self-centered prick!
fuckprickself
↓
e4a280fe-c533-45f0-8bd3-da056f02fdb6.gif
Who's not a real person now, huh?
personrealreal-person
↓
a053a79e-815b-40c2-9424-4cdcf5c9f1df.gif
Marjorie!
↓
7c7ab267-1dfb-4590-9220-d03b962f0749.gif
Why'd you come back?
whyd
↓
3d98c422-2aa3-46ff-99f0-9f04813d1efc.gif
I told you not to come back.
↓
42927e0e-ef9f-410c-a85b-b65e1bcd565a.gif
You know me.
↓
f722afca-93e2-4179-af5c-72848481767b.gif
I'm a stubborn old bitch.
bitchstubborn
↓
68ba4a06-2d2b-47a2-9b93-f3c2fab4195b.gif
Never could leave.
↓
929b84cb-8553-4ce7-96f3-badf8500fed4.gif
Oh, my God.
↓
8c7b26c1-f14d-4f5c-ba6a-d9050fa7c6c2.gif
I'm... sorry.
↓
17cecf8b-fede-4fc9-80cd-97e805dee582.gif
Where you going, Teddy?
teddy
↓
988bd7d7-bf5d-457f-ab7f-749019b8ea02.gif
Uh... Ted?
↓
928b3131-0a3e-44cd-8980-97a85b0fe5ed.gif
He thought he could come here and destroy me,
destroy
↓
72d30ce2-01c2-4d0a-a995-918f58bfa9c2.gif
so I'm gonna go there and destroy him.
destroy
↓
ba01a112-a28c-490c-bdde-b05db31a674e.gif
Whattaya need from us?
↓
2d139488-2389-4957-8a9c-c6690977a667.gif
I need you to leave.
↓
1ad66f16-0a1f-4401-afcd-e36fdedb1e92.gif
I clearly can't keep you safe.
safe
↓
98221781-98b9-4b00-9138-2214c5758df4.gif
I can't keep anyone safe!
safe
↓
0a09b9d5-3e39-4ef2-9fb4-470673dab730.gif
Well, we won't let Marjorie die for nothing.
↓
a7674dda-ea63-4c2c-a287-999a6d88a4d2.gif
Yeah, he may be one bad son of a bitch,
bitch
↓
59e01b18-18b2-426a-9555-5670c9f2d310.gif
but you have us.
↓
9d9b6023-c61b-494e-9649-517ed1586ef2.gif
Where you go, we go.
↓
7c934612-415b-499a-90f7-aac0c00a9139.gif
There you are, motherfucker.
motherfucker
↓
36595634-77b8-481a-9bce-15229e471c84.gif
Uh, how long has it been since you flew, Mike?
flewmike
↓
a3e8c16c-1e14-44dc-8183-6759b4c036bc.gif
I never flew anything like this.
flew
↓
130b0ecc-b6d3-49d5-828b-3bcb62df6e91.gif
We'll be okay.
↓
339696ef-1943-4f7a-b1b8-458a40135854.gif
Luisa, te veré de nuevo.
↓
d1012726-4d94-48fa-ab43-316b22701320.gif
Boosters are go. Nav system, go. Big Mike, on my count.
boosterscountmikesystem
↓
e0d86b0e-49ef-441d-a18e-d521aad16cec.gif
Initiating in three, two, one.
three
↓
6ed984cf-ecca-463c-b229-eba290508670.gif
Up the pressure!
pressure
↓
90303f7f-9694-493e-bac0-8b9d7584487c.gif
It's not responding! We gotta turn back!
responding
↓
abbca198-aeae-41f7-8b6f-162513b505e0.gif
We can't turn back!
↓
5d44092d-ae56-48ca-83f2-78a1edaa0feb.gif
Keep her together!
↓
13fa25a0-61b2-407a-a44a-d6fad90f4dad.gif
Equalizing now! We're almost clear of orbit!
clearorbit
↓
e046067b-44b7-4952-9448-85cfe6fa357b.gif
Hold her! Hold her!
↓
4c7a1ade-30c2-4fee-9f68-e61cb770250a.gif
Are you seeing this?
seeing
↓
32c5ab15-fb6c-4b33-9a89-4ab6a4017163.gif
It's amazing.
amazing
↓
8d3c1770-1a8e-4627-8514-089d4ef36291.gif
That was the easy part. Hold on to your dicks.
dickseasypart
↓
6e9665b5-fb93-43e5-bb65-4ac5d1591d0e.gif
Okay, if you're... if you're seeing this one,
seeing
↓
4a50fa2b-edc7-4a2e-9d21-c36636fe99f5.gif
clearly the-the holograms are-are... they're not working.
working
↓
bf1bc111-4da2-49bc-add4-d22156599ece.gif
Let's get him, boys!
boys
↓
31495eb4-5c9e-43c4-8565-1e3c32ab62b2.gif
Forcibly deactivating vacation mode.
modevacation
↓
254cb73d-954e-4556-ab99-207f0f0e59f3.gif
Whatever you're doing out here has broken the garbage disposal.
brokendisposalgarbage
↓
19e326ec-3383-4ff8-8b1b-74d2562410fc.gif
Turn this thing off, or I fry her!
↓
6cc66bd9-bb22-4c24-8825-96ade8e4e0dc.gif
Dad, do you want to call off Deliverance here?
↓
6fad6ad8-a9c2-4b9a-9025-dd10a1f016b4.gif
My God. You're his daughter?
daughter
↓
ff6be9de-ac03-475a-bb66-162ef53c9004.gif
It's unbelievable that I'm not allowed to buy alcohol yet.
alcoholallowedunbelievable
↓
bb4efef5-01a7-4996-a0c5-bc66bfed14fc.gif
Garage, override code Charlie 7 alpha.
alphacharliecodegarage
↓
5bf7163a-4e11-458e-a1d4-98b1f427039a.gif
Take her out, Mike!
mike
↓
42cdebb3-497b-4c38-aafe-772fa529a37c.gif
Wait! Don't hurt her.
hurt
↓
34558070-7ef3-443b-b5cd-5df43c2b9474.gif
Jeez, you're back!
jeez
↓
0aa4b2ad-1c8c-4a4e-88bf-f99d3ab9e383.gif
Oh, wait. Are you still Vacation Rick?
rickvacation
↓
5c5f9d48-17e2-49d2-bd20-e511c1f0430e.gif
Please tell me you have the leg phone.
phone
↓
50f88af1-d7f5-4abb-86e4-5e3f07eca01d.gif
You spring breakers put a hole in my roof.
holeroofspring
↓
54b5d1f3-0c0a-4293-af55-569fa978078f.gif
I'm going back out to the pool.
pool
↓
fbf2c3a1-a7bb-4a81-9340-cf2a940858f1.gif
Hey, buddy, you made it all the way home.
buddyhome
↓
1c9fca1e-0c68-4416-9829-20b374a7789f.gif
And you brought your-- your little buds.
broughtbuds
↓
be9d1918-57d3-4247-8326-cfa6fbcfbe68.gif
-Ted? -Stand down.
stand
↓
8ef3c882-4601-4773-9703-03fb19e0cc58.gif
-They didn't ask for this. -You can say that again.
↓
3e21b101-76c4-4bdd-8d71-daf17d1bd576.gif
Somebody better get the disposal running.
disposalrunningsomebody
↓
7c7ce470-cc5b-4452-84b1-a5eca4c8e2a3.gif
There's fishbones in there.
↓
93bf1e9a-5875-4b0a-80fb-3a4cfa1d0e88.gif
It's called a garbage disposal!
calleddisposalgarbage
↓
5f590a8d-f663-4629-81fe-14da40ed14f5.gif
That was your voice on my leg phone.
phonevoice
↓
dd049a2c-d3ee-46db-b5ae-6c57c2a05e7d.gif
You're his friend?
friend
↓
d450b0e6-183b-49a3-83a0-8379248279dd.gif
Kind of. I'm your grandson.
grandson
↓
b10af16e-9613-406a-a904-22da53c2011e.gif
Well, it looks like we're gonna be here for a while, huh?
↓
45594cd2-67b7-4f69-a5fd-661d0bee618b.gif
Where's that fucking red button?
buttonfucking
↓
eacc1aad-f89f-4ddc-82c1-a049062e74cf.gif
Hey, uh, me? Hologram guy?
↓
97fc0207-7b05-4362-b3a0-b838420882dc.gif
-Garage? -Yes?
garage
↓
4d01cad4-46b8-437f-8700-67592c6dd476.gif
Y-You can hear me.
↓
92a9e12b-41ed-4427-a69e-b07a3ea720ac.gif
Where's this guy keep his tools?
tools
↓
cc3cc108-ee7c-4d09-95b3-ec2aa9bd6e9b.gif
Holy shit.
holy
↓
00f8b800-2f69-4161-93fd-cff6838b803d.gif
Hey, Teddy.
teddy
↓
8963055b-3066-448b-8e5f-29d86700c11f.gif
As long as you're building spaceman stuff...
buildingstuff
↓
adf715d4-d110-4aea-a481-71592ff2ebc3.gif
Yeah. Alright!
alright
↓
16b672ea-03e2-4fe0-9c1c-57eb9c418b74.gif
I'm gonna get another drink.
anotheranother-drinkdrink
↓
6ac96349-8374-4f82-8343-67089697b91f.gif
Come on, Ted. We were beating you before this too.
beating
↓
5dd79762-119f-4f8e-b55d-bb65ef2de474.gif
-Gimme another pitcher. -Sure.
another
↓
87af9f00-2841-4dc7-84cd-e3ed67eefb34.gif
Are you one of those hicks with robot arms?
armsrobot
↓
76b8a996-c6e5-4e69-ab72-b3f401ab1021.gif
What'd you call me?
whatd
↓
353db0ae-a604-44cd-82c0-4c8b81ecda2c.gif
I thought you guys were owning it.
owning
↓
9c238544-61aa-45c2-bbfc-6a9041fe13d6.gif
I'll make it interesting, Teddy.
interestingteddy
↓
415a5a53-2b86-466b-86dd-6f628c02df07.gif
Tough luck! That's a hard spare to hit.
hardlucksparetough
↓
fbe75ac7-50ad-4ed0-a908-39c9dd041f01.gif
Guys, I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.
↓
df06889a-175f-4818-af41-7256b2ea700a.gif
What are you doing out here?
↓
e294ffc7-e86e-4e78-b27a-39ae94b66124.gif
-Beth made pancakes. -I'm busy.
bethbusypancakes
↓
89b39b82-e9df-418f-a896-f1315430d72b.gif
You're wearing his clothes now.
clotheswearing
↓
7ccf6150-2237-41b1-ab24-efa772fcde93.gif
It has pockets, it's not a symbol.
pocketssymbol
↓
c829317c-6aca-4414-8894-c58f49bfbf60.gif
Teddy, you know what would be cool?
coolteddy
↓
381baad9-4187-4725-8217-52ee915c86c8.gif
If I had laser eyes.
eyeslaser
↓
f46701e9-5ae6-4c44-9146-75d218ff6fee.gif
Or, okay, one eye is a laser,
laser
↓
4711908e-ab2b-4974-9488-ae170a30fdfb.gif
and the other sees through clothes.
clothessees
↓
fa013959-2b4a-43fa-b5a7-fa5b32f1a0a5.gif
What the hell is that?!
↓
39fb6573-22fa-4836-aac8-c98aa0ad24f6.gif
Just go in.
↓
7a95cd03-ca48-44eb-8b39-47e5d620ffe3.gif
I can see our bowling alley. We're going home.
alleybowlingbowling-alleyhome
↓
88d54153-7a01-481a-8721-5d458232bb1c.gif
So, we won? We beat this guy?
beat
↓
9e663c40-e56e-4c04-a9ab-aff93c498243.gif
-Sure. -Yeah!
↓
addb376b-9bd2-4351-875c-63d4a4cf1753.gif
-We did it! -We're goin' home, boys!
boysgoinhome
↓
d37335f5-afc0-44bf-b6c6-52ac056c860b.gif
And, uh, you'll gimme lasers when we, uh, get back home?
homelasers
↓
ad17828a-a4fe-41cb-96f7-23b37ea15365.gif
Hey, want me to keep an eye on your old stuff?
stuff
↓
69e0df5c-36fb-49bb-9da4-3b498226da7f.gif
Sell it if you want. Buy Luisa something nice.
sell
↓
277eb0cc-814d-4650-a7cd-aa5941b07db2.gif
He looks pretty normal to me.
normal
↓
b5e078e4-fa5b-4e04-87c9-0717b46d38e0.gif
Talk to him, then.
↓
d1345637-dacd-42f4-9976-521f80867e23.gif
-Dad? -Oh, God!
↓
f414de82-8e0e-4f80-9e59-e7b2ce60b552.gif
He's still Ted, apparently.
apparently
↓
5cad6186-a108-4a48-9f4d-90416fe8d899.gif
There's a difference?
difference
↓
47deb829-6a89-47ce-80e2-abd9f023026b.gif
You see what I'm saying?
↓
f1827496-752c-4df4-9734-a8a6bfb1d908.gif
I'm not staying if I can't swim.
stayingswim
↓
4835d462-c555-49de-9d1a-02c1879b2cd7.gif
Well, look who's back.
↓
db4e20a9-7206-4540-aaf0-3e97197c5117.gif
Came to pour one out for Marjorie.
pour
↓
3285eb65-a39d-4d5d-a059-b8c71630d10a.gif
Marjorie's over there.
↓
fb1cdb03-267a-4bb9-a240-083b99f7f0c8.gif
This is Little Mike.
mike
↓
6743239f-1dec-4cbf-a7c2-b77e8ae6ed67.gif
Oh, Jesus.
jesus
↓
df0fedb2-4ba6-4b61-a2be-d89ac08aba65.gif
He got run through on his own robot arm.
robot
↓
7a691bb7-53a7-4ecd-9549-8653e4701bb9.gif
-My boy! -Fuck.
fuck
↓
5e3c3f75-6aea-41d0-9a14-34e6e9271463.gif
He was drunk.
drunk
↓
d70d053c-1724-4266-acae-597714798972.gif
Guess he had something in his eye.
↓
dd102d96-c517-43ba-8825-e13452634783.gif
I didn't mean for any of this to happen, you guys.
happen
↓
4866392d-fd3b-49f5-9ec1-21edeb592337.gif
It was just nice to vacation with dumb people.
dumbvacation
↓
34c38845-a77b-4402-ae83-718a01a3e507.gif
You did this,
↓
b03bf3a3-18f9-4093-aabe-24ff9681cf41.gif
you fake outsider piece of shit.
fakeoutsiderpiece
↓
37db9713-e9bf-441b-9763-38487d06d7e0.gif
-Morty. -We're in the middle of a game.
gamemiddlemorty
↓
bf269d82-4691-405a-8e28-f5bf88c8b69c.gif
Morty, Grandpa needs you.
grandpamortyneeds
↓
a5d0f087-646a-4aad-96f0-d07dc988953f.gif
Grandpa needs you, Morty.
grandpamortyneeds
↓
15894e3e-105d-4d18-a079-b7388f46a44a.gif
-Come on, it'll just take a minute. -Uh, okay, Rick.
itllminuterick
↓
7d9d3144-8a2e-42ca-a84d-a4123bff95f8.gif
I mean, Ted. What are we... What are we calling him now?
calling
↓
498bbfd4-833e-4c8f-84de-e7f492f9c1d2.gif
Jesus! That's really dangerous!
dangerousjesus
↓
d8e69f9d-a882-4553-8ce4-ef1c6765c8a5.gif
It's empty, I-I don't know how to...
empty
↓
c7072bb6-6c25-4c3c-ab86-019c6e73b67d.gif
How do we get more, Morty? We gotta get more.
morty
↓
0b31d1ec-893b-4ace-b8e4-4bd5c8c2418a.gif
Oh, great, the one time I was winning.
winning
↓
67ad705a-678b-401d-a054-293f24c8c2f1.gif
Can you take your grandfather
grandfather
↓
819da9e4-a880-42bc-8bcf-68aa7bf9d377.gif
back out to the garage, please, Morty?
garagemorty
↓
9a47e59c-bec6-4702-b62e-7d65592dc12e.gif
That is a troubling family dynamic.
dynamicfamilytroubling
↓
b35fe360-d3e8-4879-a0dc-d0303986ed61.gif
Everybody knows that, right?
everybodyeverybody-knowsknows
↓
28434f72-e71e-44c2-838a-541db414c0b1.gif
We can discuss it after we get this thing off your father.
discussfather
↓
a9a64642-d5e2-400b-81d1-6fd311b78a77.gif
Know what... Know what, Morty?
morty
↓
4a18129c-d876-4e2d-8851-8e5bab1cbe70.gif
I'm not going back there ever.
↓
6540d3a9-ed18-4cc4-b9e6-3b85e03ccc4e.gif
Stupid bowling.
bowlingstupid
↓
afb7088c-1a60-4f45-a936-764baba6ee6b.gif
Bottle-shooting morons. Idiot trophy.
bottleidiotmoronsshootingtrophy
↓
c366b79e-99b3-4763-b76e-1496b5e297d3.gif
Aw, wait, no, you don't wanna keep some of these?
↓
09cb3bfc-4598-4351-914f-87593f02c685.gif
You look so happy.
happy
↓
d89f15d8-4a18-4459-b403-c23e6aab6eec.gif
-Don't shred me, Rick! -It's trash now, Morty! Drop it!
dropmortyrickshredtrash
↓
6cc55622-1e0c-45c8-b492-a16403413c7b.gif
I'm sorry I tried to shred you, Morty.
mortyshredtried
↓
00b6bafc-165b-4e16-b9ce-3d65f1af823a.gif
Y-Y-You're a nice kid, a good boy.
↓
25eabdbe-a483-4a90-a946-18bc20cfbfbe.gif
You should have your grandpa.
grandpa
↓
5ce30f01-9d83-4fea-a48d-2759a0af2e2d.gif
Not this... I'm-I'm too stupid, Morty.
mortystupid
↓
ef98c625-7ccd-4c08-bd03-2c06c3f49f15.gif
Stupid Ted.
stupid
↓
7b69cbff-d357-49e6-bb10-161e2e3c205d.gif
If I were just a little bit smarter, I could...
smarter
↓
457ee933-09bc-4486-8a2f-5dc39a34bb48.gif
I-I could figure it out.
figure
↓
cd8eae24-1a5e-40c4-8755-f4d5b4393b07.gif
And be happy.
happy
↓
2ae6ba74-e4c7-4f89-bd30-db25d71f57a2.gif
I'm gonna push the button, Morty.
buttonmortypush
↓
51b389cd-7e4a-451d-93d0-f6b72be353cf.gif
I'm gonna do it for you.
↓
e2a796b3-f09f-42f7-ad78-3662d24a978f.gif
If that makes you feel better?
makes
↓
080419f5-02ca-4b14-9947-a0fdb20269cb.gif
Is he...
↓
54560008-38a6-4408-b7db-fecd307a6170.gif
Is he better at this?
↓
bd77dca4-d9d5-45e9-ae57-39928e512cd7.gif
Rick? Um, yeah.
rick
↓
729eb9cf-915b-414f-ac8c-29b1682755d2.gif
Yeah, he is. You are.
↓
75137bde-dd5c-4b92-aa1d-f3515fe8be6e.gif
Don't-don't bullshit me, Morty.
bullshitmorty
↓
3a06b3e2-673f-47fb-a5a7-2bb2672b5bb1.gif
No, you're really smart, really important.
smart
↓
3aaee306-b9f9-411b-8203-1db044fe4201.gif
You have a great family, and-and lots of friends.
familyfriendslots
↓
72e902b3-2bac-4c9e-81dc-7b76843e1410.gif
You're so happy.
happy
↓
9628ae0d-5686-4fac-885c-996e9f999b48.gif
And we all really love you.
love
↓
4c67a877-a05b-4eec-a4c0-663d6c0e5bbb.gif
Aw, fuck it.
fuck
↓
b59bae8f-9fe6-410d-a7e1-fe1ea966f215.gif
It... It didn't work?
↓
70e22874-31f8-4a1a-9a91-66752fea4141.gif
No.
↓
86e928c8-e3ea-43fd-880c-7743a9c0dbd7.gif
It did.
↓
11b8e768-80ca-4ac2-a825-8c7ead99bdd8.gif
We've always known you as a tourist on our little island.
islandknowntourist
↓
7284167f-a9e9-48c0-8946-fb8f740c1711.gif
But now we're gonna know you as part of our family.
familypart
↓
901b3b99-5e87-4fd7-b2b2-118f18856d06.gif
I love you, Sallpock.
love
↓
1521d0bf-5f54-41dd-a0ed-a2a6f139c0b2.gif
Mush-mush-molock.
mush
↓
7f0b1b47-2e2d-435b-8c77-992a620d3d13.gif
I didn't think I was the kind of man...
↓
ee2248d5-c7de-4238-9261-d540696712d8.gif
Sorry. I, um--
↓
59f224f8-2cba-4b9c-9a87-9faa4b7b5e6e.gif
We love you, Sallpock!
love
↓
472c7208-1976-47e8-a5c9-76ca71b4acca.gif
Should anyone object, speak now or forever hold your peace.
foreverobjectpeacespeak
↓
c253b61b-d716-4121-bbcb-fc30ebe60264.gif
-Yeah, I object. -It's a rhetorical statement!
objectrhetoricalstatement
↓
8523c35d-230e-4398-ba2d-e86efa222fab.gif
Shouldn't we let it play out? He's not in danger.
danger
↓
986172f6-caa0-4b3f-ab52-3e569a0fa5b2.gif
I've never seen these people before in my life.
lifeseen
↓
3524d115-7957-4ffd-964a-993bc24b9aae.gif
Okay, Grandpa Rick. Let's go. Vacation's over.
grandparickvacations
↓
19849635-b4ca-47a6-8806-edc6b4ecf644.gif
It's not my vacation! It's my home!
homevacation
↓
28d9115e-7bb4-4a32-8f4b-374f3da0c47f.gif
No, no! Let me go! No!
↓
2ff41633-b053-4ecd-bbc8-3e78bdd0e128.gif
Boom. Egged!
boom
↓
6a01dd36-f155-4827-bbde-04abde5e2e32.gif
It's okay.
↓
569ed9f5-7a8b-41bd-a11c-b8c6693b41d9.gif
He's an alien who removes his intelligence
alienintelligence
↓
38425d19-402e-4a7b-8faa-e3fe74b6e2cd.gif
to hook up with locals.
hook
↓
4d31e5fc-f769-48d1-aab4-c3ee4cd8656c.gif
He likes that you're simple.
likessimple
↓
2a3cc052-f098-43b3-89d2-75afcd7def2c.gif
He doesn't want to be known.
known