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Home » Rick and Morty » S09E01 — There's Something About Morty

Rick and Morty

Season 9, Episode 1 — There's Something About Morty

TMDB episode metadata
Show: Rick and Morty
Episode title: There's Something About Morty
Air date: May 24, 2026
Director: Douglas Einar Olsen
Top billed cast: Chris Parnell, Spencer Grammer, Sarah Chalke, Ian Cardoni, Harry Belden
Rick's been lonely, broh. Morty's worried bout side pieces.
Source: TMDB
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Aah!
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Don't tell her, though, that I said anything to you.
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Ahh!
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You know, Rick, I don't give 7-Eleven enough credit.
creditelevenrick
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You see what those ones look like in Asia?
ones
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Like-- Like little grocery stores?
grocerystores
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Morty. W-W-What's that, pal?
morty
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Y-Yeah, the new pool's pretty great.
pools
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Who ya texting?
texting
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Nobody.
nobody
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Nobody?
nobody
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- Yeah. Nobody. - Okay, fine.
nobody
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Kind of a weird response.
responseweird
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It's not weird. Privacy is a thing.
privacyweird
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Says the guy who puts cameras everywhere.
cameras
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Whatever. W-What you building in here?
building
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- Freeze ray? - Kinda actually.
freezekinda
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Making a beer that chills itself--
beer
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- Morty! - Why are you being weird?!
mortyweird
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Let go of my phone, Morty!
mortyphone
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Who are you texting?!
texting
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Nobody!
nobody
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Uch! Son of a-- Come on!
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What the fuck?!
fuck
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- It's fine. - The fuck it's fine!
fuck
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It's fine!
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Let's go.
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What the heck? Morty,
heckmorty
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you want to come on this one?
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At your own risk obviously.
obviouslyrisk
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You know what? Yeah, I will.
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- Morty. - Cool.
coolmorty
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Since when do you care about anything?
care
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I don't. That's why I make him do it.
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Thank dick, we're here.
dick
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Uhp, it sees us.
sees
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- Get in the suit. - What?!
suit
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Morty, this is multiversal galactic shit.
morty
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I have to focus a little harder than usual.
focusharderusual
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- Get in the suit. - Make him wear the suit!
suitwear
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Evil Morty doesn't need the suit.
evilmortysuit
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Morty, get in the suit or go home.
homemortysuit
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Oh, it disappears. That's nifty.
disappears
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What's that? Nano-mesh? How's he breathing?
breathingmesh
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It recycles the oxygen internally.
internallyoxygen
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Can he piss in there?
piss
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He can piss in there.
piss
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I won't need to.
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Okay. Sample container's done. Should be absorption-proof.
containersproofsample
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- Huh. Pretty small. - Nice. Good stuff, Morty.
mortystuff
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- Very helpful. - Load your fucking thing in.
fuckinghelpfulload
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- All set. - Let's wrap this up.
wrap
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You are tremendous to be attempting this.
attemptingtremendous
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It will be an honor to absorb you.
honor
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Oh!
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Don't let it touch you.
touch
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Oh!
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Oh! Oh! Oh!
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Car, clear out.
clear
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- Way ahead of you. - Aah!
ahead
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You can't outrun me.
outrun
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You'll be me.
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Yah!
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Oh! Aah!
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I'm am The Collective!
collective
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Uh!
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Riiiiick!
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Aah! Ooh!
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H-Hey!
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Oh! Oh, I get it.
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The Collective: Ahhhh.
ahhhhcollective
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Aah! Ahh!
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Evil Morty: Plant these charges.
chargesevilmortyplant
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The Collective:
collective
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We have absorbed countless technologies,
absorbedcountless
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Rick Sanchez.
ricksanchez
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One of them will be your equal.
equal
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Nice of you to explain.
explain
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The more you understand of The Collective,
collective
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the easier you will be for The Collective to absorb.
collectiveeasier
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Lucky me.
lucky
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This is me, but it is coating
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something that is not me.
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Uh, we-- we are The C-Collective.
collective
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I am The-- The Collective.
collective
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I did not say or think those things.
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And I don't think I sound like that.
sound
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What are these?
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Uh, definitely not, uh, charges of some kind.
charges
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I think that's exactly what they are.
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I will absorb them.
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Shit.
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I am the threads of time,
threads
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bound and perfected.
bound
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And your time is up!
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Aah!
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Ugh! What?!
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I do not understand.
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I am The Collective.
collective
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I absorb all.
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Right. And you just absorbed a compression algorithm.
absorbedalgorithm
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What?!
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Now you'll absorb yourself-- forever.
forever
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Impossible!
impossible
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I am The Collective!
collective
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Oh! Uh!
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No! I am The Collect--
collect
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Aaahhhh!
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Way to get captured.
captured
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Obviously not my fault.
faultobviously
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You really fucked me there, Morty.
fuckedmorty
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"Uh, definitely not, uh, charges of some kind."
charges
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It was stressful. Okay? Th-- That was-- Geez!
geezstressful
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Although getting captured kind of worked out.
capturedworked
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I didn't mind it.
mind
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I liked talking to that guy.
liked
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Yeah, way better than the dude from last week.
week
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So you-- you guys do stuff like that together
stuff
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a-- a lot?
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Only sometimes.
sometimes
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- Oh. - Should we hit a diner?
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Is that crazy? G-Get some waffles?
crazywaffles
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What?! No!
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Rick, tell Morty we're getting waffles.
mortyrickwaffles
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Something to drink?
drink
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One, uh-- two milkshakes, actually.
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- Coffee with vodka in it. - Amen.
amencoffeevodka
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You have fun, Morty?
funmorty
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Today was actually a pretty good one.
today
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And you only threw us off a little.
threw
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- My apologies. - All good.
apologies
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Me and Rick just have a... rhythm.
rhythmrick
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It's a fiercely unsteady truce, Morty.
mortytruce
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Either of us could backstab the other at any time.
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I get why he never looped you in.
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I mean, if I'm calling this guy...
calling
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must be this tall to ride, you know?
mustridetall
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I'm sure.
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Don't let him rile you up, Morty.
morty
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It's all dumb.
dumb
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Mostly just levitating with power
mostlypower
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and screaming as our eyes glow.
eyesglowscreaming
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Sometimes we do a huge beam together.
beamhugesometimes
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- What even are you? - Jesus!
jesus
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May I go to the bathroom, please?
bathroom
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I gotta give these waffles some runway.
runwaywaffles
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What do I look like-- the bad guy?
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You are permitted.
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He's a big softie once you get to know him, huh?
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Even showed me some... time travel stuff.
showedstufftravel
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I'm gonna shove these waffles up your ass, pal!
shovewaffles
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- Heavens! - What the fuck are you doing here?
fuckheavens
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Y-You gonna replace me?
replace
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I'm not sure what you're talking about.
↓
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Uh-huh! Home-wrecker!
home
↓
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You see this? All this messy...
messy
↓
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whatever this is...
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- it's weakness. - Fuck you.
fuckweakness
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Ha! You know what?
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Maybe I will steal your grandpa.
grandpasteal
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But not because I love him.
love
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d33ebab0-703f-4fbf-aa2a-72f1cbe41522.gif
Because you do. Here we go.
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Two milkshakes for the two kinds of Mortys--
kinds
↓
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the one who does whatever he wants
wants
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and the one who sucks my grandpa's dick.
dickgrandpassucks
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You know what? I'll drink both milkshakes.
drink
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Just took a shit so big, it changed my brain chemistry.
brainchangedchemistry
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W-What are we doing? We order those waffles yet?
orderwaffles
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- Can we go? - Morty...
morty
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I took such a nice shit.
↓
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Don't make him tug my leash again.
leash
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No, we can call it. Boy, this was great, though.
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Thanks for coming along, Morty.
alongcomingcoming-alongmortythanks
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Rick, we gotta do this after missions more often.
missionsoftenrick
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Uh-huh.
↓
853d8bc7-2011-400a-8844-5fc8b86f0f69.gif
This one's on me. And, uh...
ones
↓
6fd1afca-6ac9-43f1-8451-610097ee7368.gif
till next time, Gramps.
till
↓
526ef120-441a-4961-a052-0e1007f3a67c.gif
I winked. Maybe you couldn't tell because of the eye patch.
patch
↓
5c3b88b2-b5b1-4bfb-bc32-7d2ed73fef6b.gif
- We could tell. - Blackmailing prick.
prick
↓
dbe7b8f7-19be-4bda-998d-5cb2a6325fb4.gif
Huh.
↓
38fa8278-8acd-426c-8ce3-31c28b24dd23.gif
Motherfucker!
motherfucker
↓
dd1c3c76-d961-42ce-995f-079e24ad3759.gif
Yeeeah-ha ha-hooow!
↓
54967aac-6c4e-4ed3-ba68-9bc968a5e384.gif
We got him, Morty! We fucking got him!
fuckingmorty
↓
e7fb6719-55d4-4709-a500-221cb90430dd.gif
I-I don't understand!
↓
013b4e85-097e-4d09-a4be-3dba912c6eba.gif
I put the blueprints for that dumb fucking Omega Device
devicedumbfuckingomega
↓
6123d9bb-8ce7-4f37-869e-7e93e070e62e.gif
in the Omega Device, Morty.
devicemortyomega
↓
857c3c59-bcd7-471a-877d-78b1b740af25.gif
Eh, they've been wiped from every possible reality.
possiblerealitywiped
↓
96f1609d-d487-4399-9ef7-92999123bd11.gif
- You mean... - Yes, you possessive fucking nerd!
fuckingnerd
↓
fe473834-7109-4805-a3fe-95d77bd70ff1.gif
We're free of that hack's bullshit once and for all.
bullshitfreehacks
↓
feae88c7-8129-4263-9a56-a9150542f4bb.gif
Oh, sweet bliss!
blisssweet
↓
1cddc423-bc61-4e5d-888d-8c1dd1452996.gif
I'm already forgetting what we're talking about.
forgetting
↓
8e2f5f62-6c8c-4c95-997f-92fb469c6e45.gif
God, he brought you along to flex.
alongbrought
↓
64d687ae-3d80-400e-ad57-49c54b49260c.gif
He showed you his lair, that overconfident little bitch.
bitchlairshowed
↓
567d9b32-611b-4010-bff0-8df5716043a1.gif
Predictable bitch!
bitchpredictable
↓
ffbe9069-b478-46fc-b5a9-9780ed3feedd.gif
That's what happens when you get too used to winning, Morty.
happensmortyusedwinning
↓
3ae1ea59-0c34-4024-a412-d83151c0f9e9.gif
You start sucking your own dick Morty.
dickmortystartsucking
↓
0ddb3b13-3e59-45fc-8d38-e0d12933ad96.gif
He's gonna be coming for us, Morty.
comingmorty
↓
a0f2b677-6897-4670-87aa-c28f5cf4e2ed.gif
He's coming, and he's gonna be pissed.
comingpissed
↓
b029a8f9-07b3-428b-babf-54e9540014bd.gif
He'll want to murder the shit out of me, Morty.
mortymurder
↓
9888cf4f-21bb-4e68-8712-98fe60b0f24f.gif
That's why I built this place, Morty.
builtmortyplace
↓
934c2032-021f-466c-b734-a17404fcdf9d.gif
This whole dimension is a bunker, Morty.
bunkerdimensionmortywhole
↓
457fe294-8220-46e9-814e-3edf74f55386.gif
Oh, man.
↓
a2dfba36-ffc0-4de0-9cb1-ecdf5da9da1d.gif
We live in the bunker now, Morty!
bunkerlivemorty
↓
5a3b0b4d-7f4f-437e-92f4-77f070fb1f1f.gif
We might be here forever, Morty.
forevermightmorty
↓
c398757e-eaec-4605-ba7a-b677c8c1f6b0.gif
Bunker dimension-n-n!
bunkerdimension
↓
9425ba44-2e3c-4e7f-91ce-0764e451c36f.gif
So Evil Morty thinks he's my nemesis.
evilmortynemesisthinks
↓
ca4d1dda-cbcf-4bcc-934e-ef8128b27902.gif
Mostly just sucks. But he is deadly.
deadlymostlysucks
↓
87e1dd2d-06d5-4c1d-a1ff-f0cf1bf5adef.gif
I'm not made of body-armor goo.
armorbody
↓
3f3375ce-fcfa-4f7c-bdb0-5469d3eab595.gif
- What about Space Beth? - Space Beth is mean to me sometimes.
bethsometimesspace
↓
5e18ee2d-d041-4d5a-8dea-8372981a7406.gif
There's an evil version of Morty?
evilmortyversion
↓
cee099d4-6e7f-4ef3-82b0-ed61ca61de99.gif
Yes, Jerry. Obviously. Keep up.
jerryobviously
↓
5ceff6c4-a605-4fe3-b130-f81b9f7cfb63.gif
He's crafty. He's evil. He's a pussy-ass bitch.
bitchevilpussy
↓
12bb2c24-59b2-42dc-a6e0-ebfa7bf3f8cb.gif
He doesn't think I know this,
↓
3280fff6-fe7c-4314-bd70-a039dfe8abab.gif
but his stupid Akira palm laser has a cooldown.
laserpalmstupid
↓
fb831f54-33a1-48f2-b414-b63ffa88664b.gif
You get 20 seconds after firing it to tackle him.
firingsecondstackle
↓
3783a917-43d8-4e2b-9ff3-7b089ca496b8.gif
If he corners you, yell a slur. A bad slur.
cornerssluryell
↓
6ceb3946-89e8-441d-9c8f-55158ae2ff93.gif
- What?! - That reaction exactly.
reaction
↓
736b23a5-2341-41de-8644-af4d8ad8ca3a.gif
The worse the slur, the more time it buys you.
buysslurworse
↓
353070dd-a257-4575-8aa4-aa8f06057283.gif
Jerry, pretend to shit your pants in fear.
fearjerrypantspretend
↓
d7b700b5-9f47-43a6-8f0c-89cff4229946.gif
- I'll see what I can do. - So we just live here now?
live
↓
3e330e8e-efd3-4ee8-a0d4-62d879219a51.gif
On high alert, but also open your heart
alertheartopen
↓
63cfab2c-5444-4ccf-87a0-9e40c2919768.gif
to the joys of the bunker dimension.
bunkerdimension
↓
e6371037-2e75-4496-9d72-669fb71f3b80.gif
There's normal plumbing, and your friends and neighbors
friendsneighborsnormalplumbing
↓
972591b3-49a6-4771-8e08-a6d4d272d5ad.gif
all have combat training,
combattraining
↓
a28ae1ea-592f-40a8-8106-cb8a03293b90.gif
like Bunker Gene here.
bunkergene
↓
f3583c2f-1300-4bdc-97b0-d410a485190a.gif
- Oo-rah! - At ease, BG.
ease
↓
76494ca3-dd2e-41f2-b3dc-b69ab636ed82.gif
Now, ballistics.
↓
e12e1c26-713d-4934-9c12-5b91981bc018.gif
Evil Morty does have a force field. It's annoying.
annoyingevilfieldforcemorty
↓
5f7c4690-ef5d-4cc5-86cd-40d59e7ca5ce.gif
He probably can deflect anything below a caliber of, I dunno, 7 billion.
billiondunno
↓
c6004e93-22fc-437d-84e3-e5e9c3311ce8.gif
Is Bunker Gene from this dimension,
bunkerdimensiongene
↓
8209a9f6-cc0b-4ec9-9fec-b55ba5e45d13.gif
or do you think Rick brought him here?
broughtrick
↓
b7b137d6-4bd0-4b53-85b3-fc4f5a2798bc.gif
Seems like he used to be a Marine.
marineseemsused
↓
fa082e54-0e76-4f9b-abaa-0f7d4ef5debb.gif
No whispering.
whispering
↓
bc3139a6-0d13-49b5-a974-91d4c94fb7e5.gif
Whispering's the first step to turning on each other.
stepturning
↓
ade7f479-d4e1-4036-b24e-b674ddac5014.gif
He might go for that, too.
might
↓
16deedc5-20f8-43b4-8040-4873cef6af3b.gif
Classic bunker maneuver.
bunkerclassicmaneuver
↓
991b3580-596f-4e74-88c7-f0567ab39325.gif
Just let us stew in here until we go insane.
insanestew
↓
8046a21d-caa9-4675-bad1-4ad3694b5932.gif
So we can't go insane, even if we live here forever.
foreverinsanelive
↓
5d06166e-f333-45b4-aa6e-893ba7dca005.gif
More questions?
questions
↓
e57857a0-0904-49b1-8275-40e83a940140.gif
No further questions.
furtherquestions
↓
e536f54c-c606-4283-82f9-2a2642cea48d.gif
Do you wish I was smarter?
smarterwish
↓
7d53dc2a-856f-4bca-b5e0-632d19c32a1d.gif
Oh, Morty, have some dignity.
dignitymorty
↓
a41f67d9-e3d1-4379-bc7c-c8d54903b1a6.gif
I don't know, maybe it was all an act,
↓
3d959d37-06a7-450f-9d66-9f4169e5776f.gif
but he's powerful and confident.
confidentpowerful
↓
4f8c5594-af04-4c72-81a0-ed0ce3dbedca.gif
And you guys had real chemistry.
chemistryreal
↓
6e0c2cc5-0780-40a3-8870-b1ef93eb6576.gif
I can't even do chemistry homework.
chemistryhomework
↓
10d0b224-3346-4dfb-a4fa-2e925c402fac.gif
He wears a villain accessory, Morty.
mortyvillainwears
↓
26335aeb-debb-4a57-8465-74df0b45536a.gif
We are closing the book on this-- Evil Morty sucks.
bookclosingevilmortysucks
↓
fb2031b7-f07f-4fc5-aff0-cd7931290da2.gif
- You promise? - I promise.
promise
↓
e360a958-dde2-4c80-bba8-9136de6fc7e3.gif
Phew! And you're sure he can't break in?
breakphew
↓
0c375742-8994-4869-bc3c-8480af876b68.gif
It's unlikely,
unlikely
↓
9d1e06d4-e27c-40b7-a077-dd04d0fb3bc5.gif
unless he's canonically mastered the tech needed to bore
boremasteredneededtech
↓
f0521f3b-e5b2-430b-a711-b7ee067a6a1e.gif
through dimensional infrastructure. I don't know.
↓
47df13ae-af81-457d-bc00-15faa8b9dad5.gif
I don't keep track of that stuff.
stufftrack
↓
a57d8248-3d64-4bca-867a-6f5add554ee4.gif
I'm happy you don't like him more than me, Rick.
happyrick
↓
f18c08ec-34a1-47cd-afb0-88786b53ba7e.gif
I think this one might be for keepsies, Morty.
mightmorty
↓
09efe9d0-6a94-43a6-af34-c8701988ad12.gif
- Shoot to kill. - Roger that.
killrogershoot
↓
06fbcd0e-6f61-4677-90fb-ef2ec87fde93.gif
D-Did it w-work, sir?
↓
ee4b0de3-a24b-4e31-b382-eeb09fa305e1.gif
It worked.
worked
↓
7dd430db-a6b5-49a5-b07e-8f0c8961c6cd.gif
Semper fi!
↓
89c3d19e-69a1-4ee7-9c9b-891b9ab9ff8b.gif
Ooh! He looks mad.
↓
909fa289-bd38-4be2-8008-83ca86e733e5.gif
You like that, Morty?
morty
↓
3b3db61c-2aa0-4034-920e-911215e2f41c.gif
He built a bunker dimension just for me.
builtbunkerdimension
↓
16b64810-df4a-40b6-a5c6-a651a71d1f76.gif
I don't have to lie here.
↓
49130192-b9c7-4ac7-8f73-0759574e3f00.gif
I built it for a bunch of reasons.
builtbunchreasons
↓
b59413d4-3241-40e4-831d-66a4c73d98b9.gif
You're not special, pal.
special
↓
33787b58-65f6-46c2-ba24-a28132f44d06.gif
I don't need to be.
↓
c715a12c-dc73-4266-b628-0e4d1a6a255a.gif
Aah!
↓
1a628080-a191-4084-beeb-f6de162172de.gif
You're gonna watch me kill him.
killwatch
↓
feb9cafd-56b7-4a42-83a6-2f9f4fd0ee79.gif
Oh, man. You sound as pressed as Morty was.
mortypressedsound
↓
5d0fdc65-e727-4f41-b682-b414ebd5b2da.gif
You do have a lot in common.
common
↓
854d374a-3043-4ebe-adb9-2f6f83849a12.gif
That's cute. How many of those you got left?
cuteleft
↓
502bb80d-9def-4fbe-ab74-870247885505.gif
Like, two?
↓
10704c7c-03ed-46ca-9e16-352ece61a4b0.gif
Is it two?
↓
339fc2e1-9a2e-4d70-bf0e-b650bd12ff25.gif
Three?
three
↓
511f43c7-82b0-4a6a-afb7-1056352e3d6a.gif
Ow!
↓
c5a82a02-ad89-4e7a-9bad-4d450e349a1a.gif
Eee!
↓
c1a2f66e-bc2b-4695-af80-cf51f7c01fc0.gif
Ahhhhhhhhh!
↓
39fd5ca8-148d-4a2c-a8ef-19a66400921a.gif
Ahhh!
ahhh
↓
73c6863e-8be4-46bf-a2a0-1f3fce6b8951.gif
Ahhh--
ahhh
↓
0ea4c1be-298d-4b44-b07a-88e9831ac4bf.gif
Uh!
↓
865a997b-e6b4-4fea-93c7-2abe73813442.gif
Aah! Aah!
↓
faf7a078-39c4-4013-ac6b-c975ee815543.gif
Uh!
↓
7d329633-f92a-4deb-b324-c7fc9075978e.gif
Yeah! Ha-ha! Ha-ha!
↓
0dc66e7b-d29f-4a86-b5d6-d23f0774aa43.gif
Aah!
↓
42bc45d7-3d1d-4371-846d-adbb9c0e8cfd.gif
What's-- What's happening? Am I missing something?
missing
↓
ba03e8d1-bad3-437b-b569-efcfc39db336.gif
All our nanobots are killing each other's nanobots!
killingothers
↓
623ad51b-3937-40fd-8dae-0bbddbd600b6.gif
Ow!
↓
56067dfc-5772-4ddc-bae0-067dbd4801f4.gif
God damn it!
↓
9426337a-95c0-4b56-8234-c3855e0416de.gif
Morty! No!
morty
↓
066c68ca-d6b3-43a6-95db-f3c949fe314e.gif
- Shoot him, Rick! - What the hell?!
rickshoot
↓
dbac97f8-6ac6-45b4-a85c-a3b4e2ac6b33.gif
What are you waiting for? Kill him!
killwaiting
↓
906a85e5-cf1b-4ee6-8a8b-c1905ee8a76b.gif
- Go on! Do it! - It's him! Just do it!
↓
1cff9e24-869e-42b4-a6da-25995b8b8d75.gif
Oh, fuck you!
fuck
↓
7dd73132-42c8-40fa-9655-286d258ef811.gif
You're really gonna do this?
↓
7a9be58e-2e13-47cb-9641-5a9093449ed3.gif
You're really gonna try to make him shoot me?
shoot
↓
905cde43-f21e-428d-89e1-078f603e4733.gif
That's your trick? Just-- Just say your whole plan
plantrickwholewhole-plan
↓
638ef00d-ac0e-44e4-8a43-35814666c0e7.gif
out loud so he doesn't suspect you?
loudsuspect
↓
9aa5916e-3493-4ec4-bb96-ab09b5287d83.gif
Shit.
↓
ea7cdac2-8f9c-4a95-8e4b-7e0cce368c96.gif
We-- We got him?
↓
018b9e9f-24e6-4ed7-b803-1c88146e7744.gif
I really do hate you guys.
hate
↓
332ad5c9-ebd1-41d3-a28a-86ff505f8c01.gif
No, you don't.
↓
3251b2ef-001f-4c8c-bd2c-5a28c63dd53a.gif
That's the real reason you need to kill us right now.
killrealreal-reasonreason
↓
4dc74812-40bb-45ad-97d1-9e360bb1df74.gif
Because for Rick, making me jealous was an act.
jealousrick
↓
10bba27c-2f92-4f90-ba30-a838087f3c89.gif
But for you...
↓
cd5811f0-f90a-40e8-822a-393a180527d1.gif
Yeah. Run, bitch.
bitch
↓
bef1e712-ea91-4aab-b84d-fc7ad08fac91.gif
You leaned in hard. 'Cause you thought it was real!
hardleanedreal
↓
5747f76e-d304-48ca-82e2-04ccd8f8b197.gif
Damn, Morty.
morty
↓
040c9799-b6ae-4436-b25b-5e54a5b6606f.gif
I saw what I saw, Rick.
rick
↓
14b5d086-b968-4a87-bb75-706b8c544439.gif
He's got a big old crush on you.
crush
↓
0a03b7b1-8ac1-4307-b21e-9e49677c2b5f.gif
I'd like to deny it, Morty, but I'm pretty irresistible.
denymorty
↓
2d0851c5-4354-4f2a-a8ec-78f636ec3432.gif
All right, well, m-maybe it's us who need to run, bitch.
bitch
↓
484de85b-7844-4821-a3b0-11fbc561da8f.gif
Huh?
↓
60d05e12-a31b-4736-8a16-9b84267818f1.gif
- Jerry! - Not helping, Dad.
helpingjerry
↓
d4f86415-5d01-4798-95b6-cbdf22f941ee.gif
Aah!
↓
7cec4a1f-b838-48ca-9cdf-42dbf8c2da54.gif
20 seconds. Jump him!
jumpseconds
↓
0227a2bb-7a07-4924-b8f0-1658c495e35b.gif
Yeah, you little eye-patched piece of shit.
piece
↓
aa6ad011-29c1-4450-a7a7-23d3976bc502.gif
Uh! You like that?
↓
4f511ece-912f-43ab-84a7-6c8d2f34ba2b.gif
That little time device you showed me--
deviceshowed
↓
ae143efb-a263-4fd2-ae9d-1314ab45f6f3.gif
I made one, too.
↓
7471a7b2-c3d7-4f63-a829-1b4fee9345e3.gif
Just like the portal gun.
portal
↓
883000a9-3868-4ef4-8f00-f70738c9e7d1.gif
Always struck me as odd that Ricks don't do time travel.
strucktravel
↓
0f9b6916-07ea-4c51-b633-76169edde906.gif
I get that it's messy, but so are you.
messy
↓
6162bed9-8a15-4cfd-ba83-c5acd9c953e1.gif
Anyways...
anyways
↓
c9e55ff7-a38a-4494-aab9-3cde7d3a5de5.gif
good thing I'm not a Rick.
rick
↓
93844bc2-2f46-4f5d-8e59-4c92742065fa.gif
Hands where I can see 'em!
hands
↓
627375d0-776c-42ed-8064-c37c223cee7a.gif
You're surrounded for 1,000 years in any direction,
directionsurroundedyears
↓
afaaadf2-f68f-45e8-ad2d-5382c1e32583.gif
you sick fuck.
fucksick
↓
5095f3af-db76-42c6-b91b-ddfe0b600eb8.gif
Thanks for the tip-off.
thanks
↓
3da0a27f-e162-4abf-8067-084c05e362b8.gif
A lot of people freezing time these days.
daysfreezing
↓
cb3d7f13-8915-44e2-9834-514da9b6285d.gif
Just a concerned citizen, Officer.
citizenconcernedofficer
↓
566a9f5a-fd94-4614-a128-f4c294ea849e.gif
It's societal breakdown, is what it is!
breakdown
↓
303d16e2-1909-441c-a21d-f9ddd843c153.gif
Nobody pulling over for ambulances no more neither.
nobodypulling
↓
41e8a877-37d5-4d81-bf56-13d84c49107c.gif
All right, get him out of here.
↓
9c4307bd-3d06-4cec-b170-a758077647e8.gif
I want this kid processed yesterday.
yesterday
↓
40b73169-9586-491e-8767-9ec686bd9cff.gif
Hey, hey! Wait up!
↓
39cb524a-3b42-4004-8d69-2398e6431821.gif
What?
↓
cf9bbb94-ed12-4067-8182-2b2c7b9fd4db.gif
Aah!
↓
5ba6d105-6d5e-411b-868e-cd0d3dacafc4.gif
Oh, shit!
↓
aa1252a5-bc04-4329-9531-4424c3eccbc7.gif
You touch me with that hand again,
handtouch
↓
2ba10ca4-f802-44bf-9e96-5eb6d1beb85d.gif
and I'll fucking cube it, pal!
cubefucking
↓
2c7ac9b6-4db8-44d2-a73f-353d1f902287.gif
You're nothing. You're less than nothing.
less
↓
f3c1c65f-0ab7-4d10-9b3a-c29f6f65d582.gif
- Uh-huh. - Morty's right.
↓
4bcd29a5-fe58-4651-9edb-ea86ebbfe617.gif
You do have a crush.
crush
↓
25f9b410-9341-4a96-b70e-2dd40777ecc4.gif
You needed the cops to win.
copsneeded
↓
a72a343b-4edc-4d70-a9cf-e091ecae08f8.gif
Ah! Scoreboard.
↓
9923a2f2-ead9-47cc-a138-3a71cbd2eb2d.gif
Sorry... Morty made it weird.
mortyweird
↓
35e4289a-8845-40a1-997e-2260b9fa31e9.gif
- We were never a thing. - Uh-huh.
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Enjoy prison, fucker!
enjoyfuckerprison
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Season 9, baby.
babyseason
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Only... an indefinite number more.
number
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Sure glad we didn't have to use those slurs.
glad
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Oh, my God. Same.
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You had one ready?
ready
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Oh, don't act like you didn't.
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Let's all say them at the same time.
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Three. Two. One.
three
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- Eww! Dad! - Jerry!
jerry
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Wow! Evil Morty off the board for good, huh?
boardevilmorty
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What are you gonna do now, Rick?
rick
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Nothing but green-- you know, g-green grass
grassgreen
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in front of us, baby.
babyfront
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- I need a vacation. - Oh. Nice.
vacation
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But you do like me more than him?
↓
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Don't be needy, Morty.
mortyneedy
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When are you in for, ape?
↓
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This is it?
↓
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You're not gonna put me in stasis for all of time
↓
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or-- I don't know-- remove my consciousness?
consciousnessremove
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What? Bro, this shit's supposed to be punitive.
shitssupposed
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What the hell sucks about going to sleep?
sleepsucks
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Nah, little man. Y'all gonna be eating mush on a tray, with,
eatingmushtrayyall
↓
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like, big aggro dudes that call you "Fish" relentlessly.
dudesfish
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- Damn. - I mean, you can get jacked,
jacked
↓
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but even then, you gotta hustle for that protein.
hustleprotein
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You guys have prison pegged.
peggedprison
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We've had forever to do it.
forever
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Did you get any of that?