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Rick and Morty
» S07E10 โ Fear No Mort
Rick and Morty
Season 7, Episode 10 โ Fear No Mort
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Show:
Rick and Morty
Episode title:
Fear No Mort
Air date:
December 17, 2023
Director:
Eugene Huang
Top billed cast:
Chris Parnell, Spencer Grammer, Sarah Chalke, Ian Cardoni, Harry Belden
A jaded Rick and Morty seek spooky thrills.
Source:
TMDB
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I'm gonna rip out your spleen and feed it to your husband!
feed
husband
spleen
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- We've seen too much. - It sucks, you know?
seen
sucks
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- He just wanted a ride, right? - He certainly took us for one.
certainly
ride
wanted
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- It's that carnival guy. - So he gets a kickback.
carnival
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It says it takes away your greatest fear.
fear
greatest
takes
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My greatest fear, Morty, is trusting a gross hole
fear
greatest
gross
hole
morty
trusting
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to conquer my fear, and I conquer that fear by walking away.
conquer
fear
walking
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Okay, fine.
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You little turd!
turd
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- Oh God! - Oh God!
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Hold still while i stuff you with maggots!
maggots
stuff
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Rick!
rick
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Okay! The Hole thinks I'm scared of not having a gun?
having
hole
scared
thinks
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Fear conquered!
fear
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Check out dem gains! Morty! Where are you, Morty? Let's go!
check
morty
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- Oh jeez! Oh god, oh jeez! - Man! We both shit our pants!
jeez
pants
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- Christ, Rick! My button. - What a fucking ride!
button
christ
fucking
rick
ride
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- Maggots in my button! - Fuck yeah, on the wall, motherfuckers!
button
fuck
maggots
motherfuckers
wall
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It's not worth it! Not worth it!
worth
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Oh my god, you both reek. What is that?
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Morty and I shit our pants.
morty
pants
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You're looking at the two newest members of the Hole Club.
club
hole
looking
members
newest
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Okay, sluts.
sluts
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What the hell?
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Bomb almost killed her. Take care of our wife.
bomb
care
killed
wife
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Rick? No! Oh my God! No, no!
rick
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- Mom? - Where am I? Who are you people?
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You're my mom, but, you're young?
young
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- Rick, what's happening?? - Wait. Rick?
rick
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What the fuck, Grandpa? Say something!
fuck
grandpa
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- Okay, we're clearly still in the hole. - That's exactly what I was thinking.
hole
thinking
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We never left the hole and...
hole
left
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And part of the hole is thinking you left the hole and then
hole
left
part
thinking
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And then it can really dig into you.
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Because you can't really be scared of anything if you know you're
scared
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- Still in the hole! - Still in the hole!
hole
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What the fuck are you two talking about?
fuck
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Why is dead Grandma alive in our living room?
alive
dead
dead-grandma
grandma
living
living-room
room
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Rick, why are you old?
rick
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All great questions.
questions
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You guys get reacquainted while we grab some equipment.
equipment
grab
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Wait, are we sure this isn't, like, a double mislead?
double
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A double mislead like we went into a generic fear hole
double
fear
generic
hole
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and then coincidentally came home to that? That's...
home
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That's my wife. From the day I lost her.
lost
wife
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Well, what's it got to do with me?
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- Rick? - Right!
rick
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I think I figured it out, Morty. Your greatest fear,
fear
figured
greatest
morty
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is me getting Diane back and being happy again.
happy
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What? Why?
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Because then I won't need you. Look how scared you're
scared
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- getting just talking about it. - I'm not scared, I'm insulted.
insulted
scared
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What kind of backhanded-ass theory is that?
theory
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My greatest fear is you hooking up?
fear
greatest
hooking
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You're right, we can't know for sure until I get more data.
data
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Alright family! Who wants to catch up over ice cream?
alright
catch
cream
family
wants
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I knew he was working on teleportation. But...
working
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Wouldn't this be time travel?
travel
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Dad never touches time travel.
touches
travel
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He calls it the Long...
calls
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Long Island Iced Tea of science fiction.
fiction
iced
island
science
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Yes, but then what is this?
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Don't worry about it, it's not real. Okay!
real
worry
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I figure it's better to do this in front of you,
figure
front
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I didn't want to walk in de-aged. What do you think, D? 45? Younger?
aged
walk
younger
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I don't care about your age, Rick. I don't even want to call you that,
care
rick
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that's my husband's name, he just died.
died
husbands
name
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I know.
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So, 27?
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- Dad! You're traumatizing her. - What? It's my face, too.
face
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And now Diane gets to understand that I'm still sexy and a genius.
genius
sexy
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What a kindness.
kindness
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You were right, Rick, I'm really terrified right now.
rick
terrified
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Terrified of what? If you don't mind,
mind
terrified
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I'd like to get to know the adult version of my...
adult
version
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Oh my God!
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Where's my real daughter?
daughter
real
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Sweetie, it's all right.
sweetie
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This may as well be our real daughter, because she's just as real as you.
daughter
real
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- What? - Put it this way.
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You're all basically NPCs.
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Only Morty and I are real, so your side quests don't matter.
matter
morty
real
side
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- The main quest is... us. - You're disgusting.
disgusting
main
quest
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You're talking about our baby girl like she's theoretical?
baby
baby-girl
girl
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- Welcome to the family. - No, you don't get it, honey.
family
honey
welcome
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Even if this was real, she'd be only a version
real
shed
version
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of your daughter who could also be a clone of your daughter.
clone
daughter
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Stop wearing my husband's face! You're nothing like him!
face
husbands
wearing
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- Because I lost you! - Maybe you didn't deserve me!
deserve
lost
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You want to hear a new theory?
theory
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Maybe your greatest fear is getting a second chance with her and blowing it.
blowing
chance
fear
greatest
second
second-chance
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You don't think that fear is been pretty well faced?
faced
fear
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Then you haven't conquered it. Or accepted it. Or something.
accepted
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"Or something?" I'm not a fearologist!
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Morty, all rom-coms have an arc.
morty
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Even You've Got Mail begins with Tom Hanks killing that cop.
begins
hanks
killing
mail
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- Really? - I don't know!
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I'm not going to fucking watch You've Got Mail.
fucking
mail
watch
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I'm doing this for you, Morty. The sooner I get her back,
morty
sooner
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the sooner you can conquer your fear of being a useless, lonely turd.
conquer
fear
lonely
sooner
turd
useless
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You don't think that's been faced?
faced
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Hello Diane, here's the song I rehearsed.
rehearsed
song
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You had a bad day and Rick made it worse.
rick
worse
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He felt bad, so he created me. I deliver you waffles and an apology.
apology
created
deliver
waffles
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Why do I have memories of being a human child?
child
human
memories
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- Why would I need... - Shit!
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Goddammit!
goddammit
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There was a whole second verse about inviting you to the zoo with the family.
family
inviting
second
verse
whole
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I've seen that robot's arms.
arms
robots
seen
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I used them on a law enforcement drone that the Feds had me build.
build
enforcement
used
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It's how we...
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How I met my wife.
wife
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The zoo sounds nice.
sounds
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And this one time, we raised a civilization living
civilization
living
raised
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on a zit on my face, and Grandpa helped me rule over it as queen.
face
grandpa
helped
queen
rule
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It sounds like you guys are a real family now.
family
real
real-family
sounds
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I wish you could've been part of it, Mom.
couldve
part
wish
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- Oh, honey! - Rick!
honey
rick
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Is there a deadline on this theory you're chasing?
chasing
deadline
theory
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Yeah, sure! That's a good idea, Morty. Do that.
idea
morty
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I always wished I knew what they were saying.
wished
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Your Master's thesis. Nonhuman Intelligence.
intelligence
masters
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When did you read that?
read
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After you were gone.
gone
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It helped me develop this.
develop
helped
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Fuck you! Fuck you, Greg!
fuck
greg
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- Fuck you, Lisa! Bread. - No!
bread
fuck
lisa
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- Fuck you! - Fuck you! There's bread.
bread
fuck
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- I guess that's what I expected? - Anticlimactic isn't it.
expected
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They kinda suck.
kinda
suck
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Wanna grab a drink?
drink
grab
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Yeah, alright!
alright
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When did you stop being a lightweight?
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Kept looking for my wife at the bottom of a bottle.
bottle
bottom
looking
wife
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You're pathetic.
pathetic
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Hey! To being pathetic.
pathetic
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Clear!
clear
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My turn, my turn.
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I'll tell you what, Old Man. Seems like losing me made you cooler.
cooler
losing
seems
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I should die more often.
often
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You did.
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You died everywhere forever.
died
forever
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You're the only thing I can't replace.
replace
โ
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Okay, okay, Mr. Weepy. I'm not even real, remember?
real
remember
weepy
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Nothing's real, that's your jam, right?
nothings
real
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My grandson... our grandson...
grandson
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thinks this is happening because my greatest fear is letting you go.
fear
greatest
letting
thinks
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- Then don't. - I don't want to.
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- Then kiss me. - I'm old and we have puke mouth.
kiss
mouth
puke
โ
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Well, I'm not here and it's not real puke.
puke
real
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Okay, Rick! Dude...
rick
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Fuck you Morty, it's a blazer.
blazer
fuck
morty
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That's not what I meant. You look sick.
meant
sick
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- The hole is feeding on you. - I thought it's supposed to eat my fear.
fear
feeding
hole
supposed
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Can we get some fucking rules up in this hole?
fucking
hole
rules
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I don't know the rules! Maybe you're just dying
dying
rules
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because you've been in here too long!
โ
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Interesting theory. I wonder why you're so rosy-cheeked.
interesting
theory
wonder
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What are you saying?
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Maybe the real you is off somewhere running from spiders.
real
running
spiders
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So now I'm not real?
real
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Maybe my greatest fear is having to tell you to fuck the fuck off.
fear
fuck
greatest
having
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- Go ahead and face it! - Fuck the fuck off!
ahead
face
fuck
go-ahead
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- Ready to Showbiz Pizza? - Lemme see that bear play banjo!
banjo
bear
pizza
ready
โ
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Here's one for ya. I'm afraid of watching you die.
afraid
watching
โ
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I like that theory, Morty. So stop watching.
morty
theory
watching
โ
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Okay, this is it. You nailed it. My worst nightmare.
nailed
nightmare
worst
worst-nightmare
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I'd like to leave The Hole now.
hole
โ
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Hey, Hole, I'm talking to you. Are you listening?
hole
listening
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So, what are you, like, the Hole?
hole
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The Hole's promoter? The Hole's intern?
holes
intern
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Is there a hole here?
hole
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Right! I'm supposed to go in there and be shocked that there's no hole,
hole
shocked
supposed
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or that there is a hole? What difference would it make?
difference
hole
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You are hard to scare.
hard
scare
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And Rick isn't, right?
rick
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The Hole's gonna, like, suck on him forever
forever
holes
suck
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because his big secret is that he's got the most fear?
fear
secret
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Well, we can certainly say you're not afraid to be reductive.
afraid
certainly
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I doubt your grandpa has "more" fear than the average asshole in a Denny's.
asshole
average
doubt
fear
grandpa
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- Hey. - Sorry!
โ
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If anything, he seems pretty brave. He's certainly not afraid to die.
afraid
brave
certainly
seems
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Maybe that makes his fear extra...
extra
fear
makes
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delicious.
delicious
โ
โง
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So, what, he's scared of love?
love
scared
โ
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Everyone's scared of love, dipshit. You'll learn that in your twenties.
dipshit
everyones
learn
love
scared
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It takes a very rare, very powerful being to be
powerful
rare
takes
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terrified of happiness.
happiness
terrified
โ
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- Dumb. - You're dumb.
dumb
โ
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โ
That's why you're not scared to be happy.
happy
scared
โ
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โ
The smarter you are, the more you know.
smarter
โ
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โ
Happiness is a trap. It can't last forever.
forever
happiness
trap
โ
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โ
Let's say you meet the love of your life,
life
love
meet
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well, it's still gonna end... It's inevitable!
inevitable
โ
โง
โ
Whether by the slow pull of a disease,
disease
pull
slow
whether
โ
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โ
or the shock of loose footing on a hiking trail.
loose
shock
trail
โ
โง
โ
whether it be the corrosion of two personalities
whether
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that reshape each other until they're incompatible,
โ
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โ
or maybe the old stranger in a bar who says the things
stranger
โ
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that need to be said, to that person, that night.
night
person
โ
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โ
The point is... Happiness always ends.
ends
happiness
point
โ
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โ
Best case scenario, think about this. Best case.
best
case
case-scenario
scenario
โ
โง
โ
Is that you die at the same time.
โ
โง
โ
- Yikes. - Can't the Hole just let me go then?
hole
yikes
โ
โง
โ
Sounds like I don't matter.
matter
sounds
โ
โง
โ
You don't. But if you go, you'll take him away. Don't worry.
worry
โ
โง
โ
Rick will die before accepting happiness.
accepting
happiness
rick
โ
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โ
After that, we'll chase you with some clowns
chase
clowns
โ
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or some dumb shit like that.
dumb
โ
โง
โ
But Grandpa... Grandpa's gonna die.
grandpa
grandpas
โ
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โ
Just like Diane.
โ
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โ
Sir, you've been in this booth for a really long time,
booth
โ
โง
โ
- one coffee isn't gonna cut it. - That's fair.
coffee
fair
โ
โง
โ
- Wanna split some pancake puppies? - No!
pancake
puppies
split
โ
โง
โ
Beth? Summer? Anyone!
beth
summer
โ
โง
โ
Dad, it's not real. Neither are you.
real
โ
โง
โ
If that's true, then you deal with it!
deal
โ
โง
โ
You know what, you're right.
โ
โง
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How about this?
โ
โง
โ
- Morty! What are you doing? - Being scared!
morty
scared
โ
โง
โ
How is that not enough fear?
fear
โ
โง
โ
You're the one scaring me, Morty!
morty
scaring
โ
โง
โ
No, Dad, it's okay!
โ
โง
โ
It's not okay! That wasn't normal!
normal
โ
โง
โ
My greatest fear is not being accepted.
accepted
fear
greatest
โ
โง
โ
It should be!
โ
โง
โ
And you need to fear it a hell of a lot more!
fear
โ
โง
โ
I can do that.
โ
โง
โ
You like that?
โ
โง
โ
Do you want to die?
โ
โง
โ
I have enough unaddressed trauma to flood this hallway.
flood
hallway
trauma
โ
โง
โ
You fucking idiot, this list says Top Five Things
five
fucking
fucking-idiot
idiot
list
โ
โง
โ
and you only wrote down four.
four
wrote
โ
โง
โ
Trust fall!
fall
trust
โ
โง
โ
None of us touch or speak to this kid ever.
speak
touch
โ
โง
โ
Maybe take a picture, send it to your friends?
friends
picture
send
โ
โง
โ
Not a bad idea.
idea
โ
โง
โ
How can we do the school play if Johnny has laryngitis?
johnny
school
โ
โง
โ
- There's no understudy! - Put me in the play.
โ
โง
โ
- You don't know the lines. - Yes I do.
lines
โ
โง
โ
Three Days of Rain? I have it memorized.
days
memorized
rain
three
three-days
โ
โง
โ
And I refuse to prove that until you cast me.
cast
prove
refuse
โ
โง
โ
Have it your way, but The New York Times is coming,
coming
times
york
york-times
โ
โง
โ
and they're doing a feature on the current state of young American theater.
american
current
feature
state
theater
young
โ
โง
โ
Perfect.
perfect
โ
โง
โ
- It ended in a church? What? - Yeah!
church
ended
โ
โง
โ
They'd already died it was purgatory or something.
died
theyd
โ
โง
โ
How did your universe's version end?
version
โ
โง
โ
Jack, Locke and Sawyer teamed up to kill a fog monster and everyone got rescued.
jack
kill
monster
rescued
โ
โง
โ
It was one season long and it was perfect television.
perfect
season
television
โ
โง
โ
You can be great or you can be around forever, right?
forever
โ
โง
โ
True.
โ
โง
โ
- True. - Where's this going?
โ
โง
โ
- True. - We doing robot roleplay?
robot
โ
โง
โ
- True. - I've got oil at home.
home
โ
โง
โ
- True. - What was that? Diane!
โ
โง
โ
Diane?
โ
โง
โ
- Diane. - Stay with me! Diane?
โ
โง
โ
Rick? What's happening?
rick
โ
โง
โ
Fucking Morty! He's trying to hog the hole. C'mon!
fucking
hole
morty
โ
โง
โ
Alas, our father is dead.
alas
dead
father
โ
โง
โ
Walker, are you here?
walker
โ
โง
โ
I'm Walker. Sure has been raining a lot of days.
days
raining
walker
โ
โง
โ
What the fuck is he doing?
fuck
โ
โง
โ
What's wrong with him?
โ
โง
โ
He's naked. And why does he look sick?
naked
sick
โ
โง
โ
Because he's dying.
dying
โ
โง
โ
Fuck. I gotta get him out of here.
fuck
โ
โง
โ
But if I do, I might have to go with him.
might
โ
โง
โ
I don't want to. I don't want to, Diane.
โ
โง
โ
I think my greatest fear is letting you go.
fear
greatest
letting
โ
โง
โ
That's a good fear, Rick. Keep that fear.
fear
rick
โ
โง
โ
If you don't, you'll kill me. Again.
kill
โ
โง
โ
I know. But I don't have to kill Morty too.
kill
morty
โ
โง
โ
How do you know he's even real? Look at his weird little balls.
balls
real
weird
โ
โง
โ
Goodbye, Diane.
goodbye
โ
โง
โ
- Rick...? - Shut up Morty.
morty
rick
โ
โง
โ
DJ, drop that beat, we gotta conquer a fear!
beat
conquer
drop
fear
โ
โง
โ
This is my grandson don't look at his pee-pee
grandson
โ
โง
โ
stead of staring at Morty put your eyes on me
eyes
morty
staring
โ
โง
โ
I'm a roped-out freak loose dog in my ass
freak
loose
roped
โ
โง
โ
macaroni in my pocket Rickity masterclass.
macaroni
pocket
โ
โง
โ
I don't know how to rap I don't know how to rhyme
rhyme
โ
โง
โ
i don't know how to rap now eat my shit!
โ
โง
โ
Incredible.
incredible
โ
โง
โ
Now throw your hands up! And put your hands down.
hands
throw
โ
โง
โ
Throw your hands up! Now put them back down!
hands
throw
โ
โง
โ
Three days of rain!
days
rain
three
three-days
โ
โง
โ
That was an astounding feat of personal bravery.
bravery
personal
โ
โง
โ
Nudity always makes theater serious and good.
makes
nudity
serious
theater
โ
โง
โ
How do you feel?
โ
โง
โ
Accepted. You?
accepted
โ
โง
โ
Pathetic.
pathetic
โ
โง
โ
But... Happy?
happy
โ
โง
โ
We did it! We conquered our fears. Right?
fears
โ
โง
โ
Rick! You just looked real sad, which I'm afraid of.
afraid
looked
real
rick
โ
โง
โ
You know, of being responsible for your sadness.
responsible
sadness
โ
โง
โ
Which means, I think, we might still be in The Hole.
hole
might
โ
โง
โ
Well, I am definitely afraid of you ever knowing anything before me.
afraid
knowing
โ
โง
โ
So, I'd say there's a 100% chance that we're still...
chance
โ
โง
โ
God damn it. Is this going to be a whole thing?
whole
โ
โง
โ
No wordplay, Morty.
morty
โ
โง
โ
We have to figure out our actual fears if we're ever going to get out of here.
actual
fears
figure
โ
โง
โ
- Actual fears? - Yeah!
actual
fears
โ
โง
โ
Tell me your fucking fear so we can conquer it.
conquer
fear
fucking
โ
โง
โ
I just had to crucify myself in order to save you from your Hole Wife,
hole
order
save
wife
โ
โง
โ
and you think I'm the one with unresolved fears?
fears
โ
โง
โ
I oughta be afraid that we'll never get out,
afraid
oughta
โ
โง
โ
because you'll never admit that you're afraid!
admit
afraid
โ
โง
โ
Okay. Good job. You conquered it, right?
โ
โง
โ
I think so? How are we supposed to know?
supposed
โ
โง
โ
No, this is real, I can tell.
real
โ
โง
โ
You're not afraid that you could be certain about something
afraid
certain
โ
โง
โ
and still turn out to be wrong?
โ
โง
โ
- You cowardly asshole! - How was I supposed to know?
asshole
supposed
โ
โง
โ
Eight dollars for a side of bacon?
bacon
dollars
eight
side
โ
โง
โ
Are you fucking kidding me?
fucking
fucking-kidding
kidding
โ
โง
โ
It's a symptom of a larger concern, Morty.
concern
larger
morty
โ
โง
โ
- If capitalism collapses... - Are we done here?
collapses
โ
โง
โ
I don't know. Aren't you a little afraid at this point of The Hole itself?
afraid
hole
point
โ
โง
โ
What?
โ
โง
โ
I swear to God! If we're still climbing out
climbing
swear
โ
โง
โ
of this fucking Hole two seasons from now.
fucking
hole
seasons
โ
โง
โ
- Maybe that was it. - What?
โ
โง
โ
Maybe we needed to let go of our fear of uncertainty. You know?
fear
needed
โ
โง
โ
Right.
โ
โง
โ
I'd say we're pretty native to that at this point.
native
point
โ
โง
โ
- Okay thank you, Hole! - Thank you, Hole!
hole
โ
โง
โ
We no longer need to know if we're in you! So Bye!
longer
โ
โง
โ
Are you afraid we're still in it?
afraid
โ
โง
โ
I mean, I hope we're not, but if we are...
hope
โ
โง
โ
- We'll find out eventually. - Which no longer scares me.
eventually
longer
scares
โ
โง
โ
Same. Okay. I'm gonna go get drunk.
drunk
โ
โง
โ
Move on they say, you'll feel better with time.
โ
โง
โ
But time alone can't heal This heart of mine.
alone
heal
heart
โ
โง
โ
You can't go back, That's the only rule,
rule
โ
โง
โ
But rules were meant to break when it comes to you.
break
comes
meant
rules
โ
โง
โ
I saw time and time, Slip by when I withdrew,
slip
โ
โง
โ
I wandered far and wide, Without you.
wandered
wide
โ
โง
โ
Without you.
โ
โง
โ
So I bury my dead, And I try to start again,
bury
dead
start
โ
โง
โ
But it will never be the same As it was back then.
โ
โง
โ
I've seen time and time, Slip by, but I'll make do,
seen
slip
โ
โง
โ
-โCause I won't live my life... - Oh my God, I've turned into my dad!
life
live
turned
โ
โง
โ
Maybe there's no way out. Maybe we were born here.
born
โ
โง
โ
- C'mon. We're gonna get through this. - I'm staying here.
staying
โ
โง
โ
No. We're Rick and Morty. I'm not leaving without you.
leaving
morty
rick
โ
โง
โ
What did you say?
โ
โง
โ
I said I'm not leaving you in here. Come on. You're irreplaceable.
leaving
โ
โง
โ
- What? - Oh my god.
โ
โง
โ
I know what I'm afraid of.
afraid
โ
โง
โ
I'm afraid you'd never say that in real life.
afraid
life
real
real-life
โ
โง
โ
I'm afraid that if I jumped into a hole,
afraid
hole
jumped
โ
โง
โ
you wouldn't even bother jumping in after me.
bother
jumping
โ
โง
โ
You'd just stand there and watch. This entire thing has been about me.
entire
stand
watch
โ
โง
โ
You're not even in the hole, are you?
hole
โ
โง
โ
Thank you for visiting the Fear Hole, Morty.
fear
hole
morty
visiting
โ
โง
โ
Your fear of relying on Ric has been delicious.
delicious
fear
relying
โ
โง
โ
Dear God!
dear
โ
โง
โ
Morty! How was it? Was it spiders?
morty
spiders
โ
โง
โ
Oh jeez. Oh my god, no. You...
jeez
โ
โง
โ
- You didn't go in at all? - No, it's a one-person ride.
person
ride
โ
โง
โ
You can't face two fears at the same time.
face
fears
โ
โง
โ
If my fear was fire and yours was water...
fear
fire
water
โ
โง
โ
I get it. It's fine.
โ
โง
โ
It really is fine.
โ
โง
โ
You do seem a little less burdened.
less
โ
โง
โ
Rick, am I irreplaceable?
rick
โ
โง
โ
- I mean, define "irreplaceable". - That's good. Good.
define
โ
โง
โ
I'm back.
โ
โง
โ
Don't! Or I won't know if I'm out!
โ
โง
โ
- Is it that good? Should I go in? - No.
โ
โง
โ
You holding out on me?
holding
โ
โง
โ
You don't want to deal with it, Rick.
deal
rick
โ
โง
โ
There was messed-up mental shit in there. Like, Diane was in there.
mental
messed
โ
โง
โ
- What? - Not in a good way.
โ
โง
โ
Just trust me.
trust
โ
โง
โ
Okay, buddy. Let's go slam some pancakes.
buddy
pancakes
slam
โ
โง
โ
How bout that? Season 7!
bout
season
โ
โง
โ
It was touch and go there for a second.
second
touch
โ
โง
โ
Remember when I stole my kid? I stole one of these too!
remember
stole
โ
โง
โ
It's all about having a goal and stopping at nothing to achieve it!
achieve
goal
having
stopping
โ
โง
โ
Then you'll be fulfilled!
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