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Rick and Morty
» S06E09 — A Rick in King Mortur's Mort
Rick and Morty
Season 6, Episode 9 — A Rick in King Mortur's Mort
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TMDB episode metadata
Show:
Rick and Morty
Episode title:
A Rick in King Mortur's Mort
Air date:
December 04, 2022
Director:
Jacob Hair
Top billed cast:
Justin Roiland, Chris Parnell, Spencer Grammer, Sarah Chalke
Things are heating up, y'know what I mean, broh?
Source:
TMDB
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- Why are we waiting in line for food? - It’s a pop-up.
food
line
waiting
↗
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It’s a rare, pop-up restaurant thing that only enters our solar system...
enters
rare
restaurant
solar
solar-system
system
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Rick, you’re gonna spoil your appetite.
appetite
rick
spoil
↗
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That’s a weird way to say I’m gonna stop being hungry by eating food, but whatever.
eating
food
hungry
weird
↗
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- Three crispy, four wiggling. - You’re probably not even hungry,
crispy
four
hungry
three
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you just don’t like lines because they aren’t about you.
lines
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Another weirdly aggressive way to describe a friend respecting themselves.
aggressive
another
describe
friend
respecting
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What a wonderful thing to say!
↗
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I was merely inspired by the wonderful thing you said!
inspired
merely
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- Sirs? Guys? You dropped this! - Please take it as a reward!
dropped
reward
sirs
↗
⧉
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- So courteous! - How nice it will be for you to eat
↗
⧉
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what you were willing to stand in line for so much sooner!
line
sooner
stand
willing
↗
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Oh no, that’s okay. I came to stand in line and then eat.
line
stand
↗
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I wouldn’t wanna do it differently.
differently
↗
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Dear fellow, I choose this moment to surrender my sword
choose
dear
fellow
moment
surrender
sword
↗
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so that you may succeed me as the newest Knight of the Sun.
knight
newest
succeed
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What? No. I didn’t even want your sandwich. I don’t want your sword.
sandwich
sword
↗
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Oh, believe me, son. You want it.
believe
↗
⧉
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I don’t understand. You’re knights? With a K? Of the Sun with a U or, or an O?
knights
↗
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Your alphabet is of no concern here.
concern
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We are sworn defenders of Helios, the center of this system.
center
sworn
system
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Okay, so it’s Sun with a u.
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Oh, God. Morty, don’t take the sword.
morty
sword
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Oh, I’m shocked you’re against something, Rick.
rick
shocked
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- You know these guys? - I know how they’re dressed
dressed
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and how boring this sounds. You take that sword,
boring
sounds
sword
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you’re gonna get sucked into a whole complicated, oh shit!
complicated
sucked
whole
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Come on, take it.
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I mean, if that kid’s not gonna
kids
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- take the sword... - He didn’t offer it to you.
offer
sword
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Sorry, can I just ask some stuff, what does a Knight of the Sun do?
knight
stuff
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He takes the sword, for one thing.
sword
takes
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You know what, maybe you made a bad call. He, he doesn’t want the sword.
sword
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- I didn’t say that. - Well you sure aren’t taking it!
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- Would you just take a random... - Obviously I would, yes!
obviously
random
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And I did! Best decision of my life! And you’re shitting on it!
best
decision
life
shitting
↗
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Excuse me? Is this just a free sword?
excuse
free
sword
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- No! - I’m taking the sword!
sword
↗
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- Thank you, Dawnling. What is your name? - Morty.
morty
name
↗
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Now it is Sir Mortaniel. I made it a little knightier. Good day.
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Wait, did he just...
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Goddammit, Morty! You took the sword?! So boring!
boring
goddammit
morty
sword
↗
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Oh like you’re not at this point? You drunk cranky fuck!
cranky
drunk
fuck
point
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You guys still gonna stand in line? Y ou’re not gonna take this food?
food
line
stand
↗
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The pop up pays us to stand here.
pays
stand
↗
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- To drive up business. - Knew it.
business
drive
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Everyone! Sir Helios’ successor, Sir Mortaniel!
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We’ve done it since the dawn of dawns.
dawn
↗
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Yep. There it is in stained glass. It’s official.
glass
official
stained
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And I’m not judging it. And I’m not doing it.
judging
↗
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People really live here?
live
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This is nuts, I thought it was a metaphor.
metaphor
nuts
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We have to go!
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Boy. They’re not messing around?
messing
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- How are you not burning? - Oh, it’s just science,
burning
science
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which, unless I’m misinterpreting, is clearly not a priority here.
priority
↗
⧉
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Okay, c’mon lil Junebug, I won’t rub your face in this one,
face
↗
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I’m guessing you’re feeling pretty stupid.
feeling
guessing
stupid
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Yes. Thank you.
↗
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Sir Helios gave his life with that sword. Mortaniel took it.
life
sword
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He cannot leave unless he bests me in combat.
cannot
combat
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Okay, one sec. I’m guessing these guys are like pseudo immortalish since they
guessing
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live on the sun, so playing by their rules might be the fastest way out of this.
fastest
live
might
playing
rules
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- Just best him in combat. - What?
best
combat
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⧉
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Here. This sword uses AI to learn from an opponent’s attacks.
attacks
learn
sword
uses
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- So I have to get attacked first? - No, no, no,
attacked
↗
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the sword has already seen Blade. And loved it. You’ll be fine.
blade
loved
seen
sword
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- By golly! Oh crickey. - Oh! Blimey. I say!
golly
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- Okay, so we’re done here. - No. We’re not done.
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I am done. You are now King of the Sun.
king
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- Protect the Scepter always. - No, no, I don’t want to.
protect
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Well how is that supposed to work? He’s King, but he was never even a knight?
king
knight
supposed
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- I mean that’s stupid. - it’s definitely a
stupid
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- sun first. - A king with a penis?
king
penis
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Well what do you want from me?
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- All hail King Mortaniel! - All hail King Mortaniel!
hail
king
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As your King, I hereby declare a vacation, for me,
declare
hereby
king
vacation
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I’ll come visit you guys, on like, Sun Days. Sundays.
days
sundays
visit
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If I forget, just wait a week, keep doing that, keep the crown, peace.
crown
forget
peace
week
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Hell yeah! See? That’s from when he’s fighting Deacon Frost!
fighting
frost
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I don’t know. I thought it was cool.
cool
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- Okay, so. - So? Oh.
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So you dragged me to a fake restaurant, yelled at me
dragged
fake
restaurant
yelled
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for not doing what you wanted, then did something I told you not to
wanted
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and it almost cost you your pud, but I saved your life
cost
life
saved
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⧉
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and now you’re waiting for me to make you feel like shit about it.
waiting
↗
⧉
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That’s, yeah, you nailed it.
nailed
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Morty, I’m sorry I let your opinion of me get this low.
morty
opinion
↗
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- Alright, I get it. - There’s nothing to get,
alright
↗
⧉
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I’m for real. Look, I’m a drunk, I’m a psychopath, I’m a murderer,
drunk
murderer
psychopath
real
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but when you called me boring.
boring
called
↗
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- I shouldn’t have... - I needed to hear it.
needed
↗
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And you took the stupid sword and I was like, holy crap,
holy
stupid
sword
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this is who I am to this kid, he just does the opposite of my advice now,
advice
opposite
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I mean I, I gotta fix that, so I’m gonna be like
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twenty two percent more agreeable with you for like, maybe one episode,
episode
percent
twenty
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or one adventure. We’ll see how it goes.
adventure
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- Is twenty two percent a lot? - Well I’m not gonna tell you
percent
twenty
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of our time together I’m usually mean to you because it’ll hurt your stupid
hurt
itll
stupid
usually
↗
⧉
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feelings but twenty two is substantial, you’re gonna feel the difference.
difference
feelings
twenty
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Okay. I mean, I appreciate it.
appreciate
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⧉
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You should, because you made a real mess with these guys.
mess
real
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- Oh man.
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- Sire! - You can’t leave!
↗
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Go away!
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My king, it is our duty to follow you ‘til the sun sets on our watch!
duty
follow
king
sets
watch
↗
⧉
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I mean, it set yesterday, so you’re done. Bye.
yesterday
↗
⧉
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Sire, the sun never sets on the sun.
sets
↗
⧉
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- Can you get rid of them? - You want me to...
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⧉
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Well, you guys know he can kill you, right?
kill
↗
⧉
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I think he’d find that quite difficult, sire, but if it pleases you!
difficult
pleases
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⧉
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Can’t I just tell you it pleases me for you to go away?
pleases
↗
⧉
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- No. Not really. - So you’d rather die than leave me alone.
alone
↗
⧉
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- Yes! - Yes!
↗
⧉
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- A pheasant plucked for my good king, - A pheasant plucked for my good king,
king
plucked
↗
⧉
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- A merry jig, sweet songbirds sing! - A merry jig, sweet songbirds sing!
merry
sing
sweet
↗
⧉
↓
These guys live on our sun? I’ve never heard of them.
heard
live
↗
⧉
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I don’t see them doing a lot to earn interplanetary fame.
earn
fame
↗
⧉
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I beg your pardon, wizard, the Knights of the Sun protect the solar scepter.
knights
pardon
protect
solar
wizard
↗
⧉
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Around which even this world turns.
turns
world
↗
⧉
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You do mean that, like symbolically, right?
↗
⧉
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Oh quite literally. The Scepter is the center of the solar system.
center
solar
solar-system
system
↗
⧉
↓
All planets orbit it.
orbit
planets
↗
⧉
↓
We keep it on the sun so that Jupiter and Saturn don’t bump into each other.
bump
↗
⧉
↓
- Oh my god. - They don’t even know sixth grade science.
grade
science
sixth
sixth-grade
↗
⧉
↓
That’s it.
↗
⧉
↓
Yeah, so there you have it.
↗
⧉
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Traditions suck ass and your most foundational beliefs are total bullshit.
beliefs
bullshit
suck
total
traditions
↗
⧉
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We’re supposed to take your word for it?
supposed
word
↗
⧉
↓
Anyone can draw circles on a board and spout numbers.
board
circles
draw
numbers
↗
⧉
↓
Yes, this sounds like a fun theory, sire,
fun
sounds
theory
↗
⧉
↓
but it would take more than this for us to give up...
↗
⧉
↓
Okay so how do you guys think it works again?
works
↗
⧉
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- Well, the Scepter... - Oh you mean this old thing?
↗
⧉
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You want it? Here. Take it back home. It’s a symbol.
home
symbol
↗
⧉
↓
It’s your culture. That’s not the same as reality.
culture
reality
↗
⧉
↓
Does this mean we cut off our penises for absolutely no reason?
absolutely
penises
reason
↗
⧉
↓
That’s the bad news. The good news is, you’re free.
free
news
↗
⧉
↓
- Oh that stings. - Fuck this knights shit.
fuck
knights
stings
↗
⧉
↓
A query? I just used your computer phone to search despair.
computer
despair
phone
search
used
↗
⧉
↓
- Where can I get this heroin? - I’m not telling you that.
heroin
telling
↗
⧉
↓
No matter, I’m seeing from most of your song lyrics that I can get it anywhere.
lyrics
matter
seeing
song
↗
⧉
↓
You guys, someone just used critical thinking and basic physics
basic
critical
physics
thinking
used
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⧉
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to destroy their first entire religion.
destroy
entire
religion
↗
⧉
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- Nice! - Good job, Morty!
morty
↗
⧉
↓
- So no more sun-tourage? - Yep. All done.
↗
⧉
↓
Plus, Rick and I both learned to support each other better.
learned
plus
rick
support
↗
⧉
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So that’s it, we’re done. Feels early, but we’re done.
early
feels
↗
⧉
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What’s happening? Appliances are breaking that I haven’t touched.
breaking
touched
↗
⧉
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Maybe the sun is celebrating?
celebrating
↗
⧉
↓
The Sons of the Moon are storming the Walkway! Doesn’t matter.
matter
moon
sons
storming
↗
⧉
↓
Their aggression will be kept in check
aggression
check
↗
⧉
↓
by a host of interplanetary treaties and alliances.
host
↗
⧉
↓
It’s very complicated, but as long as The Knights of the Sun stand together,
complicated
knights
stand
↗
⧉
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the solar system will always have complete political stability
complete
political
solar
solar-system
system
↗
⧉
↓
where are the Knights of the Sun, by the way? I’m done pooping.
knights
pooping
↗
⧉
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Did the Knights of the Sun disband?
knights
↗
⧉
↓
While I was pooping? Sun-kward.
pooping
↗
⧉
↓
How many planets in our solar system have these clowns?
clowns
planets
solar
solar-system
system
↗
⧉
↓
I guess if the sun can support life, any planet can, I mean,
life
planet
support
↗
⧉
↓
maybe we all descended from a common ancestor?
common
↗
⧉
↓
Haven’t you seen, like, all of the universes?
seen
↗
⧉
↓
Exactly, so why would I hang out on Pluto? That’s some Jerry-league shit.
hang
jerry
league
↗
⧉
↓
If the Sons of the Moon can attack the sun,
attack
moon
sons
↗
⧉
↓
why should the Viscounts of Venus continue sitting in Saturn’s shadow?
continue
shadow
sitting
↗
⧉
↓
How’s this for a reason: we got all the rings and all the balls!
balls
reason
rings
↗
⧉
↓
- Oh fuck you! - Really?
fuck
↗
⧉
↓
If the Saturno Venusian detente is no longer honored,
honored
longer
↗
⧉
↓
I declare you all moons of Jupiter.
declare
moons
↗
⧉
↓
Because that’s what you are to us! A bunch of moons!
bunch
moons
↗
⧉
↓
Do the Knights of the Sun plan to protect Mercury from this chaos?
chaos
knights
plan
protect
↗
⧉
↓
Because if we’re on our own, there’s a new, very tiny sun in town.
tiny
town
↗
⧉
↓
It’s all you, pal.
↗
⧉
↓
Hello? Don’t I have, like, authority over this Sons of the Moon meeting?
authority
meeting
moon
sons
↗
⧉
↓
That all depends. Who the hell are you?
depends
↗
⧉
↓
This guy’s the King of the Sun!
king
↗
⧉
↓
- Holy shit the king of the sun. - Wait when did this happen?
happen
holy
king
↗
⧉
↓
Then tell your Knights to do their jobs!
jobs
knights
↗
⧉
↓
Yes, your majesty. We all know the sun’s power lives and dies with your knights.
dies
knights
lives
majesty
power
suns
↗
⧉
↓
- Who are you? - Who am... Who...
↗
⧉
↓
I am the Marquis of Mars! And i declare war on all of you!
declare
mars
↗
⧉
↓
War on all of you!
↗
⧉
↓
Where are the Knights of the Sun when we need them most?
knights
↗
⧉
↓
- Funny you should ask. - They’re gone.
funny
gone
↗
⧉
↓
They’ve abandoned their duties.
abandoned
duties
↗
⧉
↓
- I see it in the bones. - Damn, the bones nailed it.
bones
nailed
↗
⧉
↓
Okay, so you have space ships and magic ladies?
ladies
magic
ships
space
↗
⧉
↓
Look, I’m not gonna read all the books,
books
read
↗
⧉
↓
what will it take to let this Sons of the Moon fiasco resolve itself.
moon
resolve
sons
↗
⧉
↓
Excuse me. How did you become King of the Sun? You look like an Earthling.
become
excuse
king
↗
⧉
↓
- Santa? - Santa?
santa
↗
⧉
↓
What the hell is that, I’m the Earl of Earth goddammit.
earl
earth
goddammit
↗
⧉
↓
I agree with Earth on one thing.
agree
earth
↗
⧉
↓
Venus questions the legitimacy of this King’s authority.
authority
kings
questions
↗
⧉
↓
- My people say I say aye! Never! - That sun shall be ours!
↗
⧉
↓
I’m the King! I’ve got the scepter right here!
king
↗
⧉
↓
What the fuck?
fuck
↗
⧉
↓
Yeah yeah I know you’re freaking out because it’s not on the sun.
freaking
↗
⧉
↓
No, because whoever has it
↗
⧉
↓
- rules the solar system! - It’s up for grabs, get it!
grabs
rules
solar
solar-system
system
↗
⧉
↓
After it!
↗
⧉
↓
Yes! Yes! I have the scepter.
↗
⧉
↓
Soon Jupiter will be the center of our solar system’s newest dark age...
center
dark
newest
solar
systems
↗
⧉
↓
Fuck that, Mercury will now be the shining beacon of...
beacon
fuck
shining
↗
⧉
↓
Time to throw it all against the wall!
throw
wall
↗
⧉
↓
I think you crushed it.
crushed
↗
⧉
↓
I mean, not just anybody can start Solar War One.
anybody
solar
start
↗
⧉
↓
- Stop supporting me! - Can do.
supporting
↗
⧉
↓
Goodbye, blue sky
blue
goodbye
↗
⧉
↓
Goodbye, blue sky Goodbye
blue
goodbye
↗
⧉
↓
Goodbye
goodbye
↗
⧉
↓
Did you see the frightened ones?
frightened
ones
↗
⧉
↓
Did you hear the falling bombs?
bombs
falling
↗
⧉
↓
Did you ever wonder why we had to run for shelter when the
shelter
wonder
↗
⧉
↓
Promise of a brave new world unfurled beneath a clear blue Sky?
beneath
blue
brave
clear
promise
world
↗
⧉
↓
Did you see the frightened ones?
frightened
ones
↗
⧉
↓
Did you hear the falling bombs?
bombs
falling
↗
⧉
↓
The flames are all long gone, but the pain lingers on
flames
gone
pain
↗
⧉
↓
Goodbye, blue sky
blue
goodbye
↗
⧉
↓
Goodbye, blue sky Goodbye
blue
goodbye
↗
⧉
↓
Goodbye
goodbye
↗
⧉
↓
Damn, who would have thought giving the Amish nukes
giving
↗
⧉
↓
- would threaten the solar system? - Maybe we should just jump universes.
jump
solar
solar-system
system
threaten
↗
⧉
↓
I don’t know buddy, feels like we’re kind of more about trying out commitment now,
buddy
commitment
feels
↗
⧉
↓
ya know? Let’s put our heads together, maybe there’s something
heads
↗
⧉
↓
- we haven’t tried yet. - Oh, here’s an idea. Fuck you!
fuck
idea
tried
↗
⧉
↓
- Hey! - Rick, I can’t take it,
rick
↗
⧉
↓
I admit I’m wrong, I screwed up,
admit
screwed
↗
⧉
↓
you’re killing me here yes-anding me to death, what is this, Vat of Acid again?
acid
death
killing
↗
⧉
↓
Look man, I’m sorry I’ve been such a dick in the past
dick
past
↗
⧉
↓
that you think I’m doing a thing here.
↗
⧉
↓
I’m honestly just trying to do better by you.
↗
⧉
↓
- Are you a robot? - Morty!
morty
robot
↗
⧉
↓
- A clone? - Morty!
clone
morty
↗
⧉
↓
This family’s got enough clones and robots in it.
familys
robots
↗
⧉
↓
Come on, Morty, stop asking what you’re asking
asking
morty
↗
⧉
↓
and let’s just get back to our crisis.
crisis
↗
⧉
↓
I’m sorry, it’s just been a hard road with you, Rick.
hard
rick
road
↗
⧉
↓
Morty, I get that but you can trust me when I say
morty
trust
↗
⧉
↓
I’m just trying to do right by you.
↗
⧉
↓
Okay, Rick. You’re right, maybe I just need to round up some Knights?
knights
rick
round
↗
⧉
↓
If I disillusioned the old ones, I’ll just have to reillusion them.
ones
↗
⧉
↓
It shouldn’t be that hard, right?
hard
↗
⧉
↓
Cousins, we need to return to the walkway at once!
cousins
return
↗
⧉
↓
Why are you laughing,
laughing
↗
⧉
↓
- did I say something funny? - Oh, Mortaniel!
funny
↗
⧉
↓
The only person we bend the knee to these days is that sweet Black Betty.
bend
betty
black
days
knee
person
sweet
↗
⧉
↓
- Yeah man, all hail Mr. Brownstone! - And his doctor. Feelgood that is!
doctor
hail
↗
⧉
↓
They’re talking about heroin, Morty, they like it.
heroin
morty
↗
⧉
↓
- Obviously. - Obviously?
obviously
↗
⧉
↓
Apparently living on the sun has turned our veins into triple-bonded carbon,
apparently
bonded
carbon
living
triple
turned
veins
↗
⧉
↓
so try this tale on for size, Mortaniel.
size
tale
↗
⧉
↓
- We can’t OD! - C’mon, you guys are a mess.
mess
↗
⧉
↓
Well, they actually seem kinda awesome, Morty.
awesome
kinda
morty
↗
⧉
↓
Lemme be your king. I admit I wanted what you once had.
admit
king
wanted
↗
⧉
↓
Brotherhood, tradition, stability, purpose.
brotherhood
purpose
tradition
↗
⧉
↓
I just didn’t want to cut my dick off for it.
dick
↗
⧉
↓
Yeah that’s the point. We were quick to follow this boy before,
follow
point
quick
↗
⧉
↓
without even forcing him to commit to our traditions.
commit
forcing
traditions
↗
⧉
↓
And all he did was break our faith and our walkway. And now,
break
faith
↗
⧉
↓
this random fucking guy is here again to tell us what to do? No fucking way.
fucking
random
↗
⧉
↓
What if I cut off my dick?
dick
↗
⧉
↓
But you’d be cutting it off for no reason.
cutting
reason
↗
⧉
↓
Yeah that’s the point of tradition, doing things for no reason,
point
reason
tradition
↗
⧉
↓
but it’d be reason enough doing it for you guys.
reason
↗
⧉
↓
Well you do that, that would compete with heroin.
compete
heroin
↗
⧉
↓
Cool, cool can I maybe get maybe a minute?
cool
minute
↗
⧉
↓
Buddy, what’s up? Reaching some sad conclusions about your situation?
buddy
conclusions
reaching
situation
↗
⧉
↓
Yes, but that walkway needs those knights,
knights
needs
↗
⧉
↓
those knights need a king and that king needs no dick!
dick
king
knights
needs
↗
⧉
↓
Damn, Morty, you really are stepping up.
morty
stepping
↗
⧉
↓
Now do you want me to help you not have to
↗
⧉
↓
- cut your dick off though? - Yes please!
dick
↗
⧉
↓
- Then I got you. - You really mean it, Rick?
rick
↗
⧉
↓
Of course, buddy. I’ll give you a fake dick.
buddy
course
dick
fake
↗
⧉
↓
With three layers of failsafes, they’ll never know the difference.
difference
layers
three
↗
⧉
↓
Morty. We’re gonna make your dick so fake, buddy.
buddy
dick
fake
morty
↗
⧉
↓
The signal!
signal
↗
⧉
↓
- Sir the Knights of the Sun are once more! - Hold fire!
fire
knights
↗
⧉
↓
If this return to the Old Ways is true,
return
ways
↗
⧉
↓
I’d be willing to return home and put an end to the bloodshed.
home
return
willing
↗
⧉
↓
Sir, Shall we hold off on the anti matter hydrogen bombing?
anti
bombing
matter
↗
⧉
↓
Those crusty knights won’t do the sun much good without their...
knights
↗
⧉
↓
Let’s hear them out.
↗
⧉
↓
I, Lithdor, son of Thrifdor personally oversee the stumping of thy King’s stem.
kings
personally
stem
↗
⧉
↓
If his stem burns true, peace will be restored between the spheres!
burns
peace
restored
stem
↗
⧉
↓
Present the shears of stumping!
present
shears
↗
⧉
↓
- Morty the brave! You got this, my king! - Yes! Good for you!
brave
king
morty
↗
⧉
↓
First thing’s first,
↗
⧉
↓
step through this machine which checks for nano technological hologram dicks.
checks
dicks
machine
step
↗
⧉
↓
- What? - War opened our eyes
eyes
opened
↗
⧉
↓
to the wonders of new technologies! Please, step through my liege.
liege
step
wonders
↗
⧉
↓
Sorry, my lord, but we’re gonna need you to step through this second machine
lord
machine
second
step
↗
⧉
↓
- which checks for emergency clone dicks. - Oh wow,
checks
clone
dicks
emergency
↗
⧉
↓
you guys really embraced a lot of specific new tech.
embraced
specific
tech
↗
⧉
↓
- A sunspot! - What? Where?
↗
⧉
↓
Boy, is that a third detector I see as well?
detector
third
↗
⧉
↓
You’ll find out after the second one, we don’t like to reveal them
reveal
second
↗
⧉
↓
until the previous detecting threshold
previous
↗
⧉
↓
- has been crossed. - Right.
crossed
↗
⧉
↓
The third detector is going to scan for a prosthetic dick.
detector
dick
prosthetic
scan
third
↗
⧉
↓
- Oh good. - Okay well go on through,
↗
⧉
↓
and of course, by prosthetic we mean witchcraft dick.
course
dick
prosthetic
witchcraft
↗
⧉
↓
- Shit. - Fuck!
fuck
↗
⧉
↓
I sense one! The bones say he’s still packin’!
bones
sense
↗
⧉
↓
Can’t get nothin’ past the chicken bone lady. Just testing her.
bone
chicken
lady
nothin
past
testing
↗
⧉
↓
Stump. Thy. Stem.
stem
stump
↗
⧉
↓
Morty? Morty, don’t answer out loud, can you hear me? It’s Rick,
answer
loud
morty
rick
↗
⧉
↓
- I’m talking to you with my mind. - Yeah I can hear you.
mind
↗
⧉
↓
- You said that out loud, don’t speak. - Sorry. Sorry.
loud
speak
↗
⧉
↓
I uplinked a telepathic nano satellite so we could hear each other’s thoughts,
others
satellite
thoughts
↗
⧉
↓
carefully do everything I tell you in the exact order I tell you to do it.
carefully
exact
order
↗
⧉
↓
- Okay. - Grab the scissors.
grab
scissors
↗
⧉
↓
Okay. Got the scissors.
scissors
↗
⧉
↓
- Now run. - Oh shit, shit!
↗
⧉
↓
Guards, seize them!
guards
seize
↗
⧉
↓
Run? You couldn’t have just said that?!
↗
⧉
↓
You don’t have to use telepathy anymore,
anymore
↗
⧉
↓
you can just ask your rhetorical questions out loud!
loud
questions
rhetorical
↗
⧉
↓
I don’t understand, Rick.
rick
↗
⧉
↓
Here’s something that’s easy to understand buddy,
buddy
easy
↗
⧉
↓
I’m proud of you for trying to solve your own shit.
proud
solve
↗
⧉
↓
- I didn’t want to have to do this. - It’s okay this time,
↗
⧉
↓
we don’t have any choice.
choice
↗
⧉
↓
- I love you, Rick. - Love you too, buddy.
buddy
love
rick
↗
⧉
↓
And that’s when King Morty and Rick were left with no choice
choice
king
left
morty
rick
↗
⧉
↓
but to leap into the sun.
leap
↗
⧉
↓
Such shame he felt for what he’d done to our society, sacrificing his dick
dick
shame
society
↗
⧉
↓
wasn’t enough, he gave his entire body and wizard servant as well.
body
entire
servant
wizard
↗
⧉
↓
And after a while, their sun-proof bones floated up to the top.
bones
proof
↗
⧉
↓
We even checked with a royal ladle to ensure it was real sun,
checked
ensure
real
royal
↗
⧉
↓
not just them hiding beneath in a vat of fake sun.
beneath
fake
hiding
↗
⧉
↓
Such a violent death. And finally when our grief could bear no more,
bear
death
finally
grief
violent
↗
⧉
↓
we decided to abolish our medieval act of stem stumping.
decided
medieval
stem
↗
⧉
↓
And we have King Morty the Molten to thank for that!
king
molten
morty
↗
⧉
↓
- Morty the Molten! King Morty the Molten! - Morty the Molten! King Morty the Molten!
king
molten
morty
↗
⧉
↓
See, Morty? Worked like a charm!
charm
morty
worked
↗
⧉
↓
Aren’t we risking it all coming back here?
coming
↗
⧉
↓
Morty, we had to know, plus the heat, it’s good for my joints.
heat
joints
morty
plus
↗
⧉
↓
King Mortaniel? You’re alive?
alive
king
↗
⧉
↓
Yeah, go tell everybody. Your reward’s gonna be cutting off your own dick.
cutting
dick
everybody
↗
⧉
↓
Right. Point taken. RIP and cheerio.
point
taken
↗
⧉
↓
- One crispy, one wriggling. - Coming right up.
coming
crispy
↗
⧉
↓
- Three loozums. - How ‘bout ten years? In jail.
bout
jail
three
years
↗
⧉
↓
Special Agent Mongo Bongo, you’re under arrest for illegal hot dog trafficking.
agent
arrest
bongo
illegal
mongo
special
trafficking
↗
⧉
↓
Be free, my little babies.
babies
free
↗
⧉
↓
Surprised they actually made it.
surprised
↗
⧉
↓
Kinda thought maybe some birds would swoop down or...
birds
kinda
swoop
↗
⧉
↓
I jinxed it!
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