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Home » Rick and Morty » S04E02 — The Old Man and the Seat

Rick and Morty

Season 4, Episode 2 — The Old Man and the Seat

TMDB episode metadata

Show: Rick and Morty

Episode title: The Old Man and the Seat

Air date: November 17, 2019

Director: Jacob Hair

Top billed cast: Justin Roiland, Chris Parnell, Spencer Grammer, Sarah Chalke

Rick goes to his private bathroom to find that someone else has used it. Jerry creates an app with an unlikely alien and Morty pays the price.

Source: TMDB

↓

We're out of syrup.

syrup

↓

Huh. You know what?

↓

Maybe I'll use my intern.

intern

↓

Glootie? - Good?

↓

- Thanks, Glootie. - Anything else?

thanks

↓

Do you want to develop an app?

develop

↓

- No thanks, Glootie. - Hey, what's up, Glootie?

thanks

↓

Hi, Morty. Do you want to develop an app?

develop morty

↓

- No thanks. - Rick, why does it say,

rick thanks

↓

"Do not develop my app," on your intern's forehead?

develop forehead interns

↓

Why, you want to develop one?

develop

↓

Ah, I'm glad you asked that, Jerry.

asked glad jerry

↓

It's so you don't develop his app.

develop

↓

Glootie, go make some photocopies of something. Cool.

cool

↓

Well, if anyone wants to develop an app with me, I'm down.

develop wants

↓

He seems to really want to develop an app.

develop seems

↓

He really does, sweetie, but nobody's gonna do that.

nobodys sweetie

↓

Now, if you'll excuse me,

excuse

↓

I've got a quick solo adventure to go on,

adventure quick solo

↓

and this one will not be directed by Ron Howard. He's gonna go poop.

directed howard poop

↓

When Grandpa Rick pats his belly like that

belly grandpa pats rick

↓

and leaves without Morty, it means he's going to go poop.

leaves morty poop

↓

He's a shy pooper. He has a secret pooping place.

place pooper pooping secret

↓

Rick: Man, you, Summer.

rick summer

↓

Beth: Honey, why can't you get this excited about your SATs?

beth excited honey

↓

Well, I'm man enough to simply say, "I'm going to poop,"

poop simply

↓

and I'd be honored to have Ron Howard involved.

honored howard involved

↓

Good job, hon. Way to go, Dad. We're rooting for ya.

rooting

↓

He's really putting you to work, huh?

putting

↓

Did you want to develop an app?

develop

↓

- I'll pass, Glootie. - Hmm, your loss.

loss pass

↓

Oh, yeah? Why's that?

whys

↓

Eh, it's an app you'd want to develop.

develop

↓

- Can I ask what it is? - Of course you can.

course

↓

That's always the first step in app development.

development step

↓

Ah.

↓

50/50! Final offer!

final offer

↓

Reverse digestion extrapolation.

reverse

↓

Time to meet your maker.

maker meet

↓

What are you guys doing?

↓

Did you develop an app?

develop

↓

Rule number one in app development, son...

development number rule rule-number

↓

never follow the rules.

follow rules

↓

Except when the rule is tattooed on an alien's forehead, Dad.

aliens except forehead rule tattooed

↓

Why do you think Rick would have that rule?

rick rule

↓

'Cause he's a disrupt-o-phobe.

↓

No, Dad, no.

↓

To keep something horrible from happening,

horrible

↓

something he's too lazy to explain.

explain lazy

↓

Guys, we're getting our first users.

users

↓

Whoa, this new app just matched me

whoa

↓

with a guy that is su my ty.

↓

Super my type. Learn to abbre.

learn super type

↓

Hey!

↓

Your su ty works at Jersey Mike's

jersey mikes works

↓

and sees 25 Phish shows a year.

sees shows

↓

- That is so Danny. - Summer!

danny summer

↓

- Danny? - Summer Smith?

danny smith summer

↓

Danny Publits from Lovefinderrz with two "R's" and a "Z"?

danny

↓

I ran all the way here while staring at your profile.

profile staring

↓

I tripped on a fire hydrant and fell down,

fell fire hydrant tripped

↓

so I'm covered in gravel that stuck to my sweat.

covered stuck sweat

↓

And even after a shower,

shower

↓

I'll still be into a jam band for old junkies,

band

↓

but I think this world cares too much about bands

bands cares world

↓

and too little about love.

love

↓

And I think I love you. - Me, too.

love

↓

Hi, I'm my underaged daughter's mother.

daughters mother

↓

Nice to... whoa!

whoa

↓

Come on. Just met.

↓

Uh, this isn't working.

working

↓

Wait. What are you...

↓

Never mind.

mind

↓

I quit, I'm gay, and I love Xander.

love quit xander

↓

Stupid phones are destroying us.

destroying phones stupid

↓

Hey, sweetie.

sweetie

↓

Honey, our daughter ran off with a Frisbee golfer

daughter frisbee golfer honey

↓

because of some app with a really dumb,

dumb

↓

really forgettable name.

name

↓

Like a really dumb, uncreative, super sweaty name.

dumb name super sweaty

↓

Anyway, I'll be late. I love you.

late love

↓

Got it. I love you, too.

love

↓

Okay, Glootie, take the app down.

↓

Can't take it down. I'm just an intern.

intern

↓

Uh, that's not how apps work.

apps

↓

Then make it how it works.

works

↓

This isn't how making things work works.

works

↓

Get... get it off the server.

server

↓

Y-You think we're stupid, but we're not.

stupid

↓

We know apps have something to do with servers.

apps servers

↓

The server's on the mother ship.

mother mother-ship servers ship

↓

Where's the mother ship?

mother mother-ship ship

↓

- It's coming. - Take us to it.

coming

↓

- No. - Yes.

↓

Shake him more, Morty. That was working.

morty shake working

↓

Take us to the mother ship.

mother mother-ship ship

↓

Okay, don't hurt me. Don't hurt me.

hurt

↓

Jerry: An ominous beeping app.

beeping jerry ominous

↓

You can't stay made at a guy with this kind of talent.

talent

↓

Dad, you can, and you have to.

↓

- Ribbit, ribbit. - Ribbit, ribbit.

ribbit

↓

- Hey, ribbit, ribbit, ribbit! - Ribbit, ribbit, ribbit!

ribbit

↓

Look at this guy. He wants to eat me so bad.

wants

↓

You want to eat me, don't you?

↓

- Ribbit. - Just kidding. Have some drugs.

drugs kidding ribbit

↓

- Are you Vermigurber? - What does this guy want?

↓

Who is this monkey? - I'm here about a sandwich.

monkey sandwich

↓

Oh, well you came to the right place...

place

↓

'Cause you're about to get a bullet sandwich

bullet sandwich

↓

on two slices of whole... gun.

slices whole

↓

You might want to get that.

might

↓

Hello?

↓

Voice: Dad, give the human whatever he wants.

human voice wants

↓

He knows where I live. He's crazy!

crazy knows live

↓

You idiot.

idiot

↓

I have 800,000 kids.

kids

↓

Don't forget your voicemail.

forget voicemail

↓

Automated male voice: You have 470,000 messages.

automated male messages voice

↓

Oh, ah, that's half of them.

half

↓

Okay, w-w-what do you want? What do you want?

↓

Wait, this is seriously about sandwiches?

sandwiches

↓

I thought this was about drugs or guns

drugs guns

↓

or the fact that I'm a fly that runs a frog restaurant.

fact frog restaurant runs

↓

There's a million things that are interesting about me,

interesting million

↓

and none of them are sandwiches.

sandwiches

↓

- Who ordered it? - Talk to our delivery drone.

delivery ordered

↓

He... he run off to fight in the robot wars.

fight robot wars

↓

Hey, ape man, I hope this was worth

hope worth

↓

making a whole swarm of enemies.

enemies swarm whole

↓

It will be when I find whoever shit in my toilet.

toilet

↓

Is that code for something? Someone look that up.

code

↓

If that's drug slang, I need to know it.

drug

↓

Ah!

↓

- Mom, you can't stop true love. - Oh, yes, I can.

love

↓

- You're assaulting me! - Keep your voice down.

voice

↓

I'm being assaulted!

assaulted

↓

Oh, yeah? Okay.

↓

Statutory rape! - Whoa.

rape statutory whoa

↓

My daughter's about to be raped!

daughters raped

↓

No, I'm not! I'm being assaulted!

assaulted

↓

- Rape! - Assault!

assault rape

↓

- Rape! - Nobody cares. It's a motel.

cares motel nobody nobody-cares rape

↓

Nobody's here because their life's going so great

lifes nobodys

↓

they can afford to get mixed up in yours.

afford mixed

↓

Deal with this on your own.

deal

↓

You can't stop us from getting a motel room.

motel room

↓

Fine. I'll get one, too.

↓

I'm getting the one next door,

door

↓

and I'm putting a glass to the wall, and I'm listening.

glass listening putting wall

↓

- Fine. Enjoy. - I will.

enjoy

↓

- I'm Danny, by the way. - You had your chance, dick.

chance danny dick

↓

Take your app down.

↓

T-Take... take it down.

↓

- What? - I'm their hostage.

hostage

↓

- Do they have weapons? - Nope, but neither do I.

nope weapons

↓

Do... do you have a weapon?

weapon

↓

No.

↓

- Take the app down. - Take the app down.

↓

I can't. I'm an intern.

intern

↓

Okay, well who tells interns what to do?

interns tells

↓

Not you, that's for sure.

↓

Take us to whoever does, or w-w-we'll... we'll punch you.

punch

↓

Okay.

↓

Not bad, Morty.

morty

↓

Yeah, I don't know when the other shoe's gonna drop,

drop shoes

↓

but this is working pretty good so far.

working

↓

Greetings. We are the Monogatrons.

greetings

↓

While your species was still toying with fire,

fire species

↓

ours mastered the science of functioning,

mastered science

↓

committed relationships.

committed relationships

↓

As the latest planet to develop our app,

develop latest planet

↓

you will now witness the true power of superior intimacy.

intimacy power superior witness

↓

Take the app down.

↓

Take it down, or... we'll... we'll... we'll punch you.

punch

↓

Is there someone with a gun or...

↓

It's on its way.

↓

The app remains up.

remains

↓

So what's the evil plan?

evil plan

↓

Does there have to be an evil plan?

evil plan

↓

- Oh, uh, uh... - Uh, someone wanted a gun?

wanted

↓

I'll take it. Thanks.

thanks

↓

Here's the evil plan.

evil plan

↓

Goddamn it.

goddamn goddamn-it

↓

As a preapp civilization,

civilization

↓

your love's value is defined by scarcity.

loves value

↓

You are highly trained to seek it,

highly seek trained

↓

and you have no idea how to maintain it.

idea maintain

↓

Had you bothered to master love,

bothered love master

↓

you would've learned by now, it is as abundant as water.

learned water wouldve

↓

You know what isn't? Water.

water

↓

That runs out.

runs

↓

So we'll be taking yours.

↓

While your planet continues to dick around with a, uh...

continues dick planet

↓

what is their version of it called?

called version

↓

Lovefinderrz, with two "R's" and a "Z."

↓

- Oof. - Yeah, not my idea.

idea

↓

- Goddamn. - Am I interrupting?

goddamn interrupting

↓

- Impossible. Here she is. - Mwah.

impossible mwah

↓

Your prisoners are getting away.

prisoners

↓

Prisoners are just things.

prisoners

↓

Connect with me. Tell me about your day.

connect

↓

I had an incredible meeting.

incredible meeting

↓

Did you know humans are 80% water?

humans water

↓

And I found a new podcast we can listen to tonight.

found podcast tonight

↓

Love it.

love

↓

Okay, back to work.

↓

Find and kill those earthlings.

kill

↓

We're outnumbered. There's no hope.

hope

↓

Then we go out in glory.

glory

↓

Flesh intruder, prepare to die.

flesh prepare

↓

Oh, hold on.

↓

My apologies, Lieutenant Commander.

apologies commander lieutenant

↓

No problem. At ease, Soldier.

ease problem soldier

↓

Initiate Employee Evaluation Mode.

employee evaluation mode

↓

- Accessing delivery archive. - Okay, listen.

delivery

↓

You delivered an avian protein club sandwich

club delivered protein sandwich

↓

with no lettu... Goddamn it.

goddamn goddamn-it

↓

Oy, scoping for this bit, then?

↓

Alright, a-a-alright. I know you want to have

alright

↓

the big guy/little guy fight, but...

fight

↓

Aw, are you kidding me?

kidding

↓

Alien newscaster: Here at the Midland Quasar, where, in a complete upset,

alien complete newscaster upset

↓

the Robolution has overturned the lizards.

lizards

↓

It's totally unexpected.

unexpected

↓

Uh, I understand, Mr. Phillips.

phillips

↓

Yes.

↓

I believe this is yours.

believe

↓

You, uh... you dropped that.

dropped

↓

I'll have to call you back.

↓

Where do you want to die?

↓

Susan, is conference room three available?

available conference conference-room room susan three

↓

Can I look at a photo of my wife while you kill me?

kill photo wife

↓

Sure, but I'm doing her a favor.

favor

↓

She either has terrible taste,

taste

↓

or she's trapped in a marriage to a toilet thief.

marriage thief toilet trapped

↓

She's dead.

dead

↓

And I don't mind joining her.

joining mind

↓

Life has been hollow since I lost her.

hollow life lost

↓

Using your toilet was nice, though.

toilet using

↓

I'm a bit of a shy pooper.

pooper

↓

I'm ready when you are.

ready

↓

Stay there.

↓

Tell him what you told me.

↓

What is this? What's happening?

↓

Tell him what you told me.

↓

My wife's still alive.

alive wifes

↓

Sh... sh... she went into remission 10 years ago.

years

↓

And what did you do today?

today

↓

Oh, I, uh, pooped

pooped

↓

on a really awesome toilet I found...

awesome found toilet

↓

oh, ow, ow, ow, ow, oh!

↓

Don't use your dead wife as an excuse.

dead excuse wife

↓

You on my toilet because you don't know your place,

place toilet

↓

and your place is nothing.

place

↓

So next time you stumble onto a toilet

stumble toilet

↓

that feels too good for your ass, trust me, it is.

feels trust

↓

You're not gonna kill me?

kill

↓

Don't tell me what to do!

↓

Say, "This is my shit my shit" ♪od beeps ]

beeps

↓

♪ See the flick of my wrist, of my wrist ♪

flick wrist

↓

♪ And I know she know what's up ♪

↓

♪ Baby, this is my shit my shit ♪

baby

↓

♪ See the flick of my wrist, my wrist ♪

flick wrist

↓

Are you kidding me?

kidding

↓

♪ When you in my section, fill it up when my cup empty ♪

empty fill section

↓

♪ I can't with rats ♪

rats

↓

♪ That's a fact, that's a dub ♪

fact

↓

Oh, so you like being alive?

alive

↓

So why the are you back here?

↓

After you left, I thought about what you said

left

↓

and how much I needed to hear it,

needed

↓

but then I thought about why you were saying it,

↓

who you were really saying it to.

↓

You need the same thing I needed, Rick.

needed rick

↓

You need someone to give you, permission to live.

live permission

↓

What the...?

↓

I thought you were a shy pooper.

pooper

↓

You know what shy pooping is, Rick?

pooping rick

↓

It's a pointless bid for control.

control pointless

↓

You want to take the one part of life

life part

↓

that you truly think is yours, and you want to protect it

protect truly

↓

from a universe that takes whatever it wants.

takes universe wants

↓

It took my wife.

wife

↓

It clearly took something from you.

↓

We can spend our lives fighting that,

fighting lives spend

↓

or we can choose to be free.

choose free

↓

You're right, Tony. I'm done fighting.

fighting tony

↓

Time to be free.

free

↓

Oh, wait, you're actually gonna...

↓

Oh, God! Oh, God!

↓

Where am I? - Hi, little mouse.

mouse

↓

Baby bee? I missed you so much.

baby missed

↓

I never really left you.

left

↓

Then you know that a few years ago

years

↓

I started getting into... - Strap-on porn?

porn started strap

↓

Yes. I thought it was hot.

↓

Now, come on. - Where are you going?

↓

- To poop. - Where?

poop

↓

Wherever you want, forever.

forever

↓

My God.

↓

You rang? I'm pooping, too.

pooping rang

↓

Come, Tony. Come on.

tony

↓

Come poop with me. Poop with me, Tony.

poop tony

↓

Poop with me.

poop

↓

What are you waiting for?

waiting

↓

Aren't you gonna join us, Tony?

join tony

↓

Aren't you gonna join us in the pooping?

join pooping

↓

Where are we? What is this?

↓

That's it. Get out.

↓

You can make a perfectly-realized,

perfectly realized

↓

toilet-filled simulation of heaven,

filled heaven simulation toilet

↓

but you can't share a toilet?

share toilet

↓

Don't insult my craft.

craft insult

↓

The chemical is Globaflyn.

chemical

↓

It connects the whatever-you-want section

section

↓

of your brain to the whatever-you-have section.

brain section

↓

If your heaven is toilets, that's on you.

heaven toilets

↓

All of these people...

↓

Are living their wildest, meaningless dreams

dreams living meaningless wildest

↓

and leaving me out of them.

leaving

↓

People you refuse to kill and refuse to let into your life.

kill life refuse

↓

An offer you rejected, so here's your last chance.

chance offer rejected

↓

Goodbye forever. If you touch my toilet again, you die.

forever goodbye toilet touch

↓

You need a friend.

friend

↓

I have a million cooler friends than you.

cooler friends million

↓

- I'll be seeing you. - You'll be dying.

dying seeing

↓

- We're gonna be friends. - You're gonna be dead.

dead friends

↓

Jerry: So, we fight our way to the gas line,

fight jerry line

↓

we cut it, and then we set a fire.

fire

↓

Okay. Alright.

alright

↓

Morty, "Adventures of Jerry and Morty," huh?

adventures jerry morty

↓

Put her there. - Dad, look, y-you know,

↓

w-we don't need to high-five.

five

↓

It's... it's kind of your fault

fault

↓

that we're in this situation at all.

situation

↓

I know, but, you know, come on.

↓

"Adventures of Jerry and Morty."

adventures jerry morty

↓

Okay.

↓

Mwah.

mwah

↓

Jeff, I can explain everything.

explain jeff

↓

You don't have to.

↓

Can you just marry us instead?

marry

↓

Jeff, don't do it!

jeff

↓

Richard.

richard

↓

Maggie.

↓

- Running Bird. - Let's get out of here.

bird running

↓

- Priest Witherspoon. - Josiah?

priest

↓

Let's get the out of here.

↓

Summer Smith, let's get the hell out of here.

smith summer

↓

You had me at my own name.

name

↓

Oh, yeah, no. Why would I...?

↓

Summer!

summer

↓

Thing.

↓

Come on. I can't steer this.

steer

↓

What in the hell are you doing?

↓

- Parenting. - That's not how I did it.

parenting

↓

Yeah, where's your daughter?

daughter

↓

Ah, you're right.

↓

She joined ISIS.

isis joined

↓

It's Glootie, and he's had a change of heart.

change heart

↓

And he's going to set us free.

free

↓

Actually, he's been blamed for bringing you aboard

aboard blamed bringing

↓

and assigned to execute you.

assigned execute

↓

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay.

whoa

↓

What would your girlfriend think of you murdering?

girlfriend murdering

↓

I happen to be between relationships right now.

happen relationships

↓

Really? I thought your species had perfected relationships.

relationships species

↓

Here. We're not allowed to use those apps.

allowed apps

↓

I wonder why.

wonder

↓

Yeah, that's what I thought, Glootie.

↓

Looks like you and I...

↓

Are all we've got.

↓

I'm not helping you any more than that,

helping

↓

but if you can find the hangar,

↓

grab a ship and get the hell out of here.

grab ship

↓

Where you going, Glootie?

↓

I've got a date with dumping a dating app.

date dating dumping

↓

Glootie-ootie-ooh!

↓

- Was that ever his thing? - No.

↓

- He never exited that way. - No, first time.

↓

Dad, I want to say something.

↓

I started today disgusted and embarrassed to be your son,

disgusted embarrassed started today

↓

and then later I thought we were gonna die

↓

because you're a loser.

loser

↓

- There's no more, is there? - Nope.

nope

↓

Now quit up, and let's go.

quit

↓

Is Tony here? I br... I brought him some, uh,

brought tony

↓

Vegan Fiber Chili, delicious family recipe,

chili delicious family fiber recipe vegan

↓

and a box of these, uh, chocolates, sugar free.

chocolates free sugar

↓

He can eat as many of these as he wants.

wants

↓

Anyways, uh, just wanted to drop these off,

anyways drop wanted

↓

and you tell him, uh, the toilet's all his.

toilets

↓

H-He... he'll know what I mean.

↓

Tony died.

died tony

↓

- Excuse me? - He quit his job,

excuse quit

↓

starting living life to the fullest.

life living starting

↓

He crashed into a tree

crashed tree

↓

space-skiing down Mount Space Everest.

mount skiing space

↓

There's a Mount Space Everest?

mount space

↓

Okay. Uh, Jesus.

jesus

↓

I-I got to process this.

process

↓

Oh, no, no. You... you don't want to eat that.

↓

Y-y-you'll... you'll... you'll become

become

↓

the opening of "The Beverly Hillbillies."

beverly opening

↓

You know what I'm saying? A little bubbling crude?

bubbling crude

↓

Texas tea? - I don't know these references.

references texas

↓

Yeah, but you have a Space Everest?

space

↓

Watch "Space Beverly Hillbillies"

beverly space watch

↓

so my jokes can land, you.

jokes land

↓

Now what?

↓

Happily ever after.

happily

↓

And after that?

↓

We'll find out together.

↓

Summer how many soul mates is that in the last week?

mates soul summer week

↓

Four. You can't stop me from loving who I love, Mom.

four love loving

↓

Oh, the I can't.

↓

I'm gonna mother you until your 18th birthday,

birthday mother

↓

even if I get thrown in prison for non-consensual mothering.

consensual prison thrown

↓

And even then, I will break out,

break

↓

come to your house, kick down your door,

door house kick

↓

and mother your face out of your stupid asshole.

asshole face mother stupid

↓

I'm gonna daughter your brains out, bitch.

bitch brains daughter

↓

Mother

mother

↓

That's my name. Don't wear it out.

name wear

↓

Gimme dat new soul mate.

mate soul soul-mate

↓

Ad wall?

wall

↓

This.

↓

Ad wall? What, they want us to pay for it now?

wall

↓

Man: Ugh, ad wall?

wall

↓

Come on, Mom. Let's go home.

home

↓

Great. We lost Earth.

earth lost

↓

We aren't defined by what we do, and we only need each other.

↓

Each other... and water.

water

↓

There's no water?

water

↓

Honey, the whole point of conquering Earth...

earth honey point whole whole-point

↓

I know the point of conquering Earth.

earth point

↓

Don't talk to me like... - Like I'm thirsty?

thirsty

↓

Like I'm your mother, you childish prick.

childish mother prick

↓

How much water are you sucking

sucking water

↓

through these stupid tubes on your back?

stupid tubes

↓

These tubes are cool, and I want a divorce.

cool divorce tubes

↓

You can have one for a glass of Goddamn water.

glass goddamn water

↓

Look, uh, on the off-chance that you used the app

chance used

↓

and there's someone out there waiting for you, I, uh...

waiting

↓

Jerry, I didn't use it. Did you?

jerry

↓

Me? No. God, of course not.

course

↓

Well, then, we're all good, dawg.

dawg

↓

Hey, uh... Hey, uh, Tony's dad,

↓

uh, th-this is, um, $8 billion in your local currency,

billion local

↓

and, uh, this is a kit you can use to clone a new son.

clone

↓

He... he won't have the same brain.

brain

↓

He'll kind of be an animal man, but you can teach him stuff.

animal stuff teach

↓

I-I-I also wanted to let you know

wanted

↓

I did explore infinite universes,

explore infinite

↓

and there is a version of Tony that was completely evil

completely evil tony version

↓

and ended up causing a lot of genocide

causing ended genocide

↓

because of how fulfilled he was.

↓

So, really, a lot of ways of looking at this

looking ways

↓

as not much of a loss.

loss

↓

I understand.

↓

It's, uh, hard losing a friend.

friend hard losing

↓

- You. - What?

↓

He's not my friend.

friend

↓

There he is. There's our guy.

↓

Congrats, Tony.

congrats tony

↓

Have fun with your stupid toilet

fun stupid toilet

↓

that you get to use all by yourself now.

↓

Enjoy using it all by yourself while you sit there

enjoy using

↓

and think about how nobody wants to be around you

nobody nobody-wants wants

↓

and how you ruined it for yourself

ruined

↓

because you're a huge piece of

huge piece

↓

Look at you sitting there,

sitting

↓

King Shit on his throne of loneliness.

king loneliness throne

↓

Enjoy this toilet with a thousand of me

enjoy thousand toilet

↓

screaming every time you take a

screaming

↓

All hail his majesty,

hail majesty

↓

the sa-a-ddest piece of garbage in the entire cosmos.

entire garbage piece

↓

Long live the big, bad, doo-doo daddy.

daddy live

↓

May his reign last 1,000 years.

reign years

↓

Rick, did you take the Tapatío?

rick

↓

Hmm, Globaflyn?

↓

Thanks. I could never lift it up. No problem.

lift problem thanks

↓

I'll be able to drink water for weeks because of you.

able drink water weeks

↓

It's just part of my job, ma'am.

maam part

↓

Breaker one nine, this is Jerry Smith.

breaker jerry nine smith

↓

Uh, just finished my first delivery of the day.

delivery finished

↓

900 more to go.