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Home » Rick and Morty » S03E08 — Morty's Mind Blowers

Rick and Morty

Season 3, Episode 8 — Morty's Mind Blowers

TMDB episode metadata

Show: Rick and Morty

Episode title: Morty's Mind Blowers

Air date: September 17, 2017

Director: Bryan Newton

Top billed cast: Justin Roiland, Chris Parnell, Spencer Grammer, Sarah Chalke

Morty's memories are restored and we learn the truth in this one broh.

Source: TMDB

↓

Morty, hurry!

hurry morty

↓

Return the Truth Tortoise!

return tortoise truth

↓

Morty, whatever you do, don't drop the Truth Tortoise!

drop morty tortoise truth

↓

Also really important,

↓

whatever you do, don't look into its eyes!

eyes

↓

I -- I did look at it, Rick! I've been looking at it!

looking rick

↓

Now you're gonna know everything, Morty!

morty

↓

Good job! Way to go! You fucked everything up!

fucked

↓

[ Speaking gibberish ]

gibberish speaking

↓

It's in my head! [ Screams ]

head screams

↓

Ah!

↓

[ Screams ]

screams

↓

Oh, geez, I -- I can't get that Truth Tortoise out of my head.

geez head tortoise truth

↓

Yeah, I told you not to look into its eyes.

eyes

↓

Hey, Morty, let's watch some interdimensional cable.

cable morty watch

↓

Remember how we used to do that?

remember used

↓

Rick, I can't -- I can't go on.

rick

↓

I-I can't go on like this with the Truth Tortoise shit in my head.

head tortoise truth

↓

I-I wish you could just --

wish

↓

Erase the memory from your mind?

erase memory mind

↓

How did you know I was gonna say that?

↓

Come on, Morty, come with me.

morty

↓

After you.

↓

What the hell is this?!

↓

This, Morty, is my archive

morty

↓

of all the experiences you've begged me to remove

begged experiences remove

↓

from your life, lest you go insane.

insane life

↓

I call them Morty's Mind Blowers.

mind

↓

And we'll be doing this instead of interdimensional cable.

cable

↓

♪♪

↓

♪♪

↓

♪♪

↓

How long have I been asking you to remove memories?

asking memories remove

↓

Since the first [burps] time your mind was blown.

blown burps mind

↓

Ahh, here it is. [ Burps ]

burps

↓

Classic. [ Blows ]

blows classic

↓

There's no dust on it because

dust

↓

this isn't the first time we've done this.

↓

- What?! - I call this one "Moonspiracy"!

↓

[ Laughs ]

laughs

↓

[ Insects chirping ]

chirping insects

↓

Huh, wow. That's incredible.

incredible

↓

What the heck?

heck

↓

Morty, do you realize how ridiculous that sounds?

morty realize ridiculous sounds

↓

Yeah, pretty crazy story, Morty.

crazy crazy-story morty story

↓

Are you serious?

serious

↓

Half the crap we've seen, and you think that sounds crazy?

crazy half seen sounds sounds-crazy

↓

I've been to 300 versions of Earth's moon,

earths moon versions

↓

including this one, and I've never seen signs

including seen signs

↓

of a "regular dude," as you describe him,

describe regular

↓

hanging out up there.

hanging

↓

It's probably just a smudge on the lens.

lens

↓

Smudge on the lens? Smudge on the lens?!

lens

↓

I know the difference between a man threatening me

difference threatening

↓

and a smudge on the goddamn lens, Summer!

goddamn lens summer

↓

Morty, calm down! Are you feeling okay?

calm feeling morty

↓

I'm fine!

↓

So sensitive.

sensitive

↓

[ School bell rings ]

bell bell-rings rings school school-bell school-bell-rings

↓

Principal Vagina: Kids, I'd like to introduce you all

introduce kids principal vagina

↓

to our new guidance counselor, Mr. Lunas.

counselor guidance guidance-counselor

↓

I look forward to helping guide you all

forward guide helping

↓

towards a brighter future.

brighter future

↓

I believe every student should...

believe student

↓

shoot for the moon.

moon shoot

↓

♪♪

↓

Got you now, you son of a bitch.

bitch

↓

[ Camera shutter clicking ]

camera camera-shutter clicking shutter

↓

What's this?

↓

Proof that Mr. Lunas isn't who he says he is!

proof

↓

He's not a guidance counselor?

counselor guidance guidance-counselor

↓

I -- I assume he's qualified to be one, who isn't?

assume qualified

↓

But he also lives on the moon.

lives moon

↓

Okay.

↓

Hmm.

↓

Is that it?

↓

Is he doing anything to hurt anyone?

hurt

↓

Oh, he's up to something.

↓

I think I understand.

↓

"Up to something," "lives on the moon."

lives moon

↓

Okay, I'll talk to him.

↓

[ No audio ]

audio

↓

[ Tires screeching ]

screeching tires tires-screeching

↓

What did he say?

↓

Denied the moon stuff, but that's what pedophiles do,

denied moon stuff

↓

they deny, it's their bread and butter.

bread butter deny

↓

Pedophile?

pedophile

↓

I thought the moon thing might have been code.

code might moon

↓

No, he's literally from the moon!

moon

↓

Well, you saw him react.

react

↓

Moon or not, that dude likes 'em young.

likes moon young

↓

[ Siren wails ]

siren siren-wails wails

↓

Gordon Lunas was a good Marine.

gordon marine

↓

We don't know what drove him to take his own life,

drove life

↓

but we want to remember the good things.

remember

↓

Like how, from a certain angle,

angle certain

↓

some people would say he looked like a smudge.

looked

↓

[ Squeak ]

squeak

↓

Oh, my God, what have I done?

↓

What have I done?

↓

Jesus, I made that guy kill himself!

jesus kill

↓

Only in a literal sense.

literal sense

↓

Here's one I call "Morty's [burp] Menagerie."

burp

↓

They don't all have titles, though.

↓

It's not a "Simpsons" Halloween special,

halloween simpsons special

↓

more like a clip show made of clips you never saw!

clip clips

↓

I can't believe we got put into a menagerie.

believe

↓

So this guy collects living beings?

beings living

↓

Yeah, you know like commemorative plates,

commemorative plates

↓

but less off-putting.

less putting

↓

You'll get it when you're still actively dating in your 40s.

dating

↓

Assess this with cold indifference,

assess cold indifference

↓

you beany-headed prick!

headed prick

↓

[ Crash! ]

crash

↓

Just our luck, menagerie beneath

beneath luck

↓

the "boulder people" of Granitor Seven.

seven

↓

I can't take it anymore, Rick!

anymore rick

↓

[ Banging ]

banging

↓

I can't relax! R-R-Rick, we -- we gotta get outta here!

outta relax rick

↓

I don't care what it takes! Anything!

care takes

↓

- Anything? - Anything!

↓

All right, well, you're gonna have to take off your shirt.

shirt

↓

Not yet. I'll tell you when.

↓

[ Sonar pinging ]

↓

[ Chattering ]

chattering

↓

Dear God.

dear

↓

What?

↓

The signal turned out to be --

signal turned

↓

there's no other way to put it --

↓

Instructions. For?

instructions

↓

A vehicle, sir, an interstellar vehicle.

interstellar vehicle

↓

We'll need a pilot. I wonder if there's a volunteer.

pilot volunteer wonder

↓

Mm.

↓

Oh, the schematics specify a second, smaller pilot.

pilot second smaller

↓

I mean, they really specify smaller.

smaller

↓

They have to be exactly 5'3".

↓

Chang, you may have majored in Liberal Arts,

arts chang liberal

↓

but I think you're about to make history.

history

↓

[ Grunts ]

grunts

↓

Woman: Primary systems, check.

check primary systems woman

↓

Auxiliary systems, check.

check systems

↓

See you soon.

↓

Okay, now.

↓

Greetings.

greetings

↓

You're -- You look...

↓

We've possessed forms your mind can accept.

accept forms mind possessed

↓

Here are some customary clothing gifts.

clothing gifts

↓

Please, put them on.

↓

- May we? - Of course, yes.

course

↓

We followed your instructions.

followed instructions

↓

We have so much to learn from you.

learn

↓

I know, right?

↓

[ Creak ]

↓

Hey, how come I was able to see those other people's memories?

able memories peoples

↓

I -- I wouldn't have been around for that.

↓

Yeah, sometimes I gotta do a little editing, Morty.

morty sometimes

↓

It helps the mind blowers

helps mind

↓

play a little bit better upon revisiting.

↓

I call this one "The Whole Enchilada.

whole

↓

Here, Morty, this'll make your urine drinkable.

morty thisll urine

↓

Now can we keep shopping?

shopping

↓

I am Zikzak.

↓

Ah, shit, Morty, get behind me. It's a fucking alien overlord!

alien behind fucking morty overlord

↓

It's okay. Here.

↓

Oh, I misjudged.

↓

"I am Floop Floopian. Please kill me."

kill

↓

That's right, Morty.

morty

↓

The Floop Floopians achieve an eternal orgasmic afterlife,

achieve afterlife eternal orgasmic

↓

so long as they're killed by a great warrior.

killed warrior

↓

I'm flattered, by the way. Thank you very much.

flattered

↓

So you're gonna kill him?

kill

↓

Eh, let's get some lunch first.

lunch

↓

♪♪

↓

So, you want to get shot in the head, or --

head shot

↓

Well, as long as the wound is fatal,

fatal wound

↓

I don't really mind where you shoot me.

mind shoot

↓

Cool. I'm gonna go take a quick shit.

cool quick

↓

Well, I gotta say. You know, I'm a little envious.

↓

Your species has an actual afterlife.

actual afterlife species

↓

That's gotta be nice.

↓

Wh-What do you mean?

↓

Well, you know, here on Earth, w-we don't know what's going on.

earth

↓

It must be nice for you guys to, you know, have that --

must

↓

have that proof's in the pudding, you know, evidence.

evidence pudding

↓

Evidence? There's supposed to be evidence?

evidence supposed

↓

Um, yeah, uh...

↓

otherwise, how do you know if it's true?

otherwise

↓

[ Clears throat ]

clears clears-throat throat

↓

Wait, you don't...

↓

All right, so you want to do this here or outside?

↓

[ Weapon cocks, powers up ]

cocks powers weapon

↓

Run!

↓

[ Door slams open ]

door door-slams open slams

↓

I don't wanna die!

↓

[ Horn honks ]

honks horn horn-honks

↓

[ Chanting ]

chanting

↓

Oh, God, it's all real! Oh, it hurts!

hurts real

↓

Oh, I shouldn't have doubted it!

doubted

↓

I shouldn't have let you make me doubt it!

doubt

↓

Aah! I blame you, I blame you!

blame

↓

But he said there wasn't any evidence!

evidence

↓

That was a ton of evidence!

evidence

↓

Well, silver lining.

lining silver silver-lining

↓

Now I know their religion's real.

real

↓

They have a hell, and it does not look good.

↓

I noticed you never finished your chimichanga,

chimichanga finished noticed

↓

so I got some room for it now, if you know what I mean.

room

↓

Holy shit!

holy

↓

How many of these are just horrible mistakes I've made?

horrible mistakes

↓

I mean, maybe I'd stop making so many

↓

if I let myself learn from them!

learn

↓

Don't break your back creating a lesson, Morty.

break creating lesson morty

↓

It's a freeform anthology.

↓

I'm getting annoyed you're not hearing that.

annoyed hearing

↓

As you can see around me, your mind's been blown

blown minds

↓

countless times, and not always by yourself.

countless times

↓

Ah, shit, I don't even --

↓

This better not have been a good one.

↓

What is this?

↓

Great, "Booger AIDS," "AIDS Booger."

aids booger

↓

I gotta start using real file names.

file names real start using

↓

In the meantime, enjoy a grab bag

enjoy grab meantime

↓

of mind blowers I call "Poop AIDS underscore copy."

aids copy mind poop

↓

Alien Warlord: I'm not an unreasonable man, Beth Smith.

alien beth smith unreasonable

↓

I know children are everything to a mammal.

children mammal

↓

I will spare one of their lives.

lives spare

↓

[ Muffled screaming ]

muffled screaming

↓

Summer! Summer.

summer

↓

♪♪

↓

You're not gonna believe this.

believe

↓

I went to Phoebe instead of Titan.

↓

It's, like, hello, Saturn, after ten moons,

moons

↓

time to stop naming and start numbering, you know?

naming start

↓

What's -- Wh-What's with you assholes?

assholes

↓

Morty, please, don't do this.

morty

↓

[ Evil laugh ]

evil laugh

↓

[ Voice echoing ] Your Morty is gone!

echoing gone morty voice

↓

I am Voltamatron, Destroyer of Worlds!

destroyer worlds

↓

Grandpa Rick, there must be some scientific way to save him!

grandpa must rick save scientific

↓

Not scientific, but there may be a way.

scientific

↓

Morty, I know you're in there. It's me, your grandpa.

grandpa morty

↓

I know I can be mean, but I love you, Morty.

love morty

↓

We all do, you gotta fight this thing.

fight

↓

I know you can. You're stronger than all of us!

stronger

↓

Morty, it's mom! We love you, you have to fight it!

fight love morty

↓

Come on, Morty! Fight that stupid worm thing!

fight morty stupid worm

↓

We love you!

love

↓

We love you so much!

love

↓

Rick: Yes, Morty, come on, you're doing it!

morty rick

↓

You're doing it! You're doing it!

↓

[ Gagging, coughing ]

coughing gagging

↓

Should we pull it out?

pull

↓

No, don't touch it. Just keep loving Morty!

loving morty touch

↓

We still love you.

love

↓

But I do have a thing at 6:00.

↓

Oh, God, do I have to keep looking?

looking

↓

Geez, Morty, come on, pinch it off already!

geez morty pinch

↓

[ Laughter ]

laughter

↓

Don't! Oh, God, sorry, Morty, I love you!

love morty

↓

[ Whimpering ]

whimpering

↓

God, is there going to be an intermission?

intermission

↓

Excuse me, but I ordered the large evil space worm.

evil excuse ordered space worm

↓

I know, it's like, is that a demon slug

demon slug

↓

in your stomach, or are you just happy to --

happy stomach

↓

[ Screaming ] Sorry!

screaming

↓

Well, I guess it's nice to know the whole family sucks!

family sucks whole whole-family

↓

So if the blues ones are my fault,

blues fault ones

↓

and the purple ones are my family's, what are the red ones?

familys ones purple

↓

Yeah, d-don't read into it, Morty!

morty read

↓

[ Birds chirping ]

birds birds-chirping chirping

↓

Ahh.

↓

Shit! We need to find shelter before the sunset, Morty.

morty shelter sunset

↓

Venzenulon Nine has a night temperature of 300 below!

night nine temperature

↓

We'll freeze, Morty! W-We'll be dead in seconds!

dead freeze morty seconds

↓

I -- I think I saw a cave over there.

cave

↓

You've seen too many movies, Morty.

morty movies seen

↓

A cave isn't gonna cut it. We're gonna have to use Beebo.

cave

↓

Beebo led us to water! He's our friend!

friend water

↓

- He won't even feel it! - Oh, no, no!

↓

[ Beebo groans ]

groans

↓

You wanna die, Morty? Get in Beebo!

morty

↓

Oh, no, no!

↓

Brace for the ice limit.

brace limit

↓

Here it comes!

comes

↓

Wait, are we on Venzenulon Nine or Venzenulon Seven?

nine seven

↓

Wait a minute, why would I ask for that to be removed?

minute removed

↓

Are the red ones stuff you wanted removed?

ones removed stuff wanted

↓

Ooh, that's clever, Morty, but I don't use color to sort things

clever color morty

↓

because I'm not a mouse in a European children's book.

book childrens european mouse

↓

Then why are all those pink ones by the liquor?

liquor ones pink

↓

Liquor?

liquor

↓

[ Ray guns blasting ]

blasting guns

↓

[ Both sigh ]

sigh

↓

Shit, that was close.

close

↓

He gave his life for the uprising.

life uprising

↓

Yeah. It really makes you think, huh, Morty?

makes morty

↓

We should never take things for granite.

↓

- What? - I'm just saying, life's short.

lifes short

↓

We shouldn't take things for granite.

↓

- Are you saying "granite"? - Well, yeah.

↓

It's "granted," with a "D."

granted

↓

Take things for granted. Did you actually think it was --

granted

↓

[ Laughs ] Jesus Christ, Rick,

christ jesus jesus-christ laughs rick

↓

what are you, a boulder -- a rock person?

person rock

↓

How long have you been saying that wrong?

↓

Oh, you like that, huh?

↓

I b-b-bet that really blows your mind.

blows mind

↓

I mean, yeah, it's kind of great.

↓

- You want me to erase it? - What, you can do that?

erase

↓

[ Buzzing ]

buzzing

↓

I fucking knew it, you piece of shit!

fucking piece

↓

You -- You -- You're a fucking asshole, Rick!

asshole fucking fucking-asshole rick

↓

Take it easy, Morty, come on. Just relax.

easy morty relax

↓

No, I'm not gonna fucking relax! Come here!

fucking relax

↓

Let go of me, you little bitch!

bitch

↓

I'm gonna grab you by the scruff of your --

grab

↓

Ohh!

↓

- Umm. - Umm. Uhh.

↓

- What -- - What's going on?

↓

- Where am I? - Who are we?

↓

Who am I?

↓

I think I'm an adolescent boy.

adolescent

↓

Huh, and I'm an elderly man.

↓

And we appear to be in some kind of secret confined space.

appear secret space

↓

Yeah, umm...

↓

Don't look at me like that.

↓

For all we know, you could be the fucking weirdo.

fucking weirdo

↓

Huh, these things are obviously storage units,

obviously storage units

↓

and since we can't remember what went wrong,

remember

↓

my guess is that the technology involves memory,

involves memory technology

↓

and that this thing on your head is designed to...

designed head

↓

Tell us the code, jagoff!

code

↓

[ Speaking alien language ]

alien language speaking

↓

It's pointless. He's stonewalling.

pointless

↓

Rick, if we don't unlock those vaccines, Earth dies!

dies earth rick unlock vaccines

↓

You know, it might be time to step up your interrogation!

interrogation might step

↓

Not sure what you're implying, Morty,

implying morty

↓

but some lines I don't cross.

cross lines

↓

Yeah, well, I crossed every line I had

crossed line

↓

when this bastard tried to kill Jessica!

bastard jessica kill tried

↓

[ Speaking alien language ]

alien language speaking

↓

Okay, see those two fleshy sacs under his chin, Morty?

chin morty

↓

Grab 'em.

grab

↓

You remember the codes now?

codes remember

↓

Twist!

twist

↓

[ Screaming ]

screaming

↓

Give us the codes, man! Twist harder, Morty!

codes harder morty twist

↓

Harder! [ Screaming ]

harder screaming

↓

Okay, let go, let go, let him breathe.

breathe

↓

[ Speaking alien language ]

alien language speaking

↓

He wants to make a deal.

deal wants

↓

Half the codes now, half after you finish.

codes finish half

↓

But can we trust -- Wait, what?

trust

↓

F-Finish what?

finish

↓

Y-You know --

↓

I thought I was torturing him!

torturing

↓

Oh, and this disappoints you?

disappoints

↓

Do I tell him we don't have a deal, Morty?

deal morty

↓

Because if we can kill our enemies,

enemies kill

↓

but we can't jack them off, then how are we better than them?

jack

↓

Well, what did you find out?

↓

We're partners, I guess,

partners

↓

and we fight aliens, like "Men in Black"?

aliens black fight

↓

"Men in Black," "Men in Black."

black

↓

I have "Men in Black 2" in here.

black

↓

So -- So you get the general idea.

general idea

↓

[ Laughs ] Not quite.

laughs

↓

It's basically an endless string of callbacks to --

endless string

↓

All right, save it for Youtube. I'll keep looking for clues.

clues looking save youtube

↓

What are you doing?

↓

You want your shelf level or not?

level shelf

↓

And if I say yes, you're gonna provide that for me with that?

provide

↓

Yes, see the bubble?

bubble

↓

I'm familiar with the bubble, Morty.

bubble familiar morty

↓

I also dabble in precision,

↓

and if you think you can even approach it

approach

↓

with your sad, naked, caveman eyeball

naked

↓

and a bubble of fucking air, you're the reason this species

bubble fucking reason species

↓

is a failure, and it makes me angry!

angry failure makes

↓

You're drunk.

drunk

↓

You want to put up a shelf, put up a shelf.

shelf

↓

You want to experience true level?

experience level

↓

Do you? [ Sighs dramatically ] Y-yes.

sighs

↓

[ Powering up ]

↓

Ugh, all right, come on.

↓

[ Sighs ]

sighs

↓

Wow, it's so --

↓

Oh, oh, oh, oh, my God, oh, Christ, ooh, ooh, ooh, ahh.

christ

↓

Oh, yeah, true level, bitch.

bitch level

↓

Morty, come on, we're leaving for school.

leaving morty school

↓

Oh, everything's crooked! Reality is poison!

crooked everythings poison reality

↓

I want to go back! I hate this!

hate

↓

What's his deal?

deal

↓

Shh, shh, shh, shh, Morty, Morty, Morty.

morty

↓

Go to school, Summer. I'll go in Morty's memory

memory school summer

↓

and do a little -- [ Clicks tongue ]

clicks clicks-tongue tongue

↓

Lambs to the cosmic slaughter!

cosmic lambs slaughter

↓

Well?

↓

You seem to be in charge of what I get to remember.

charge remember

↓

Why?

↓

Good question.

question

↓

Morty, I need darkness to prime these optical inductors.

darkness morty prime

↓

Hit the leftmost light switch by the door for me.

door light switch

↓

The left.

left

↓

[ Click, click, click ]

click

↓

Okay, lights on.

lights

↓

[ Sighs ]

sighs

↓

So, did I just hear three distinct light switch clicks?

clicks light switch three

↓

W-W-What do you mean?

↓

I feel like the three sounds I heard could be explained

explained heard sounds three

↓

by an initial erroneous flipping of a switch on the right

flipping initial switch

↓

followed by a hasty, corrective flipping

corrective flipping followed

↓

of the requested switch.

requested switch

↓

Then during the resultant darkness and silence, a third,

darkness silence third

↓

shameful unflipping of the initially flipped switch.

flipped shameful switch

↓

Is my assessment accurate?

accurate

↓

Yeah, that's -- that's basically how -- how it all shaked out.

↓

I'm sorry.

↓

Ugh. All right, come on.

↓

What?! Come on!

↓

[ High-pitched tone ]

pitched tone

↓

[ Click, tone ends ]

click ends tone

↓

W-What is --

↓

Grab a shovel!

grab shovel

↓

[ Click ]

click

↓

What was that?

↓

I can't find a goddamn zip tie anywhere!

goddamn

↓

All right, fuck it!

fuck

↓

[ Beeping ]

beeping

↓

[ Magnetizing ]

↓

Ahh, zip tie.

↓

[ Powering down ]

↓

[ Beeping ]

beeping

↓

[ Magnetizing ]

↓

[ Women screaming ]

screaming women

↓

Why are you making me do this for you again?

↓

Who doesn't wish they could talk to animals, Rick?

animals rick wish

↓

Most humans!

humans

↓

There, I'm done, just stay out of trouble!

trouble

↓

Gotta keep moving. Can't stop.

moving

↓

Up, down, down, up, up, up, down, up, stop, down.

↓

The queen needs food. The babies need food.

babies food needs queen

↓

The queen makes babies.

babies makes queen

↓

The situation in Argentina

situation

↓

has proven less convenient than predicted.

convenient less predicted proven

↓

We'll have to re-destabilize their economy,

economy

↓

refocus labor class outrage from upper to middle,

class labor middle outrage upper

↓

foster a coup, and install a compliant regime.

coup foster install

↓

Same as Guatemala?

guatemala

↓

Yes, but you can double time it.

double

↓

We need a quorum to pick a new pope,

pick pope

↓

in case the Exxon/Monsanto thing falls through in Africa.

africa case falls

↓

Why not use chemtrails? Put a canopy on Uganda.

↓

They're set to agitate any mo-- What?

↓

That kid is watching us.

watching

↓

So, we're squirrels, he's a kid.

squirrels

↓

He's watching us like he hears what we're saying.

hears watching

↓

Hey, kid. Young man? Come here, little boy.

young

↓

Tell Daphne to run a 199 on a possible Dolittle.

daphne possible

↓

Little boy!

↓

We'll give you wishes if you can hear us!

wishes

↓

We can make you fly and get candy.

candy

↓

[ Squirrels chittering ]

squirrels

↓

[ Whistling ]

whistling

↓

Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck! Fuck me! Fuck me!

fuck

↓

[ Panting ] Rick!

panting rick

↓

Ah, shit, Morty, what did you do?

morty

↓

[ Powering up ]

↓

[ Zap! ]

↓

[ Squirrels screeching ]

screeching squirrels

↓

All right, Morty, pack your shit!

morty pack

↓

That's only gonna keep 'em down for a little bit, Morty!

morty

↓

You fucked with squirrels, Morty!

fucked morty squirrels

↓

We got a good five minutes

five five-minutes minutes

↓

before they're backing up on our ass, Morty!

backing morty

↓

We have to pack up and move to a new reality, Morty!

morty pack reality

↓

You know I said we could only do that a couple of times!

couple times

↓

We're fucked over here because of these damn squirrels, Morty!

fucked morty squirrels

↓

I don't know what my reaction is,

reaction

↓

but I think I'm mounting in suspicion of you.

suspicion

↓

- Well, what are you gonna do? - I'm gonna remember everything!

remember

↓

Everything!

↓

[ Screams ] [ Laughs ]

laughs screams

↓

[ Screams ]

screams

↓

[ Farts ]

farts

↓

Yeah!

↓

♪♪

↓

Ow!

↓

Ah!

↓

Ow!

↓

[ Crying ]

crying

↓

♪♪

↓

Well, what'd you find out?

whatd

↓

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what are you gonna do, kill me?

kill whoa

↓

No, I'm not gonna kill you. I'm gonna kill myself!

kill

↓

All those memories just erased!

erased memories

↓

Sitting in this room collecting dust!

collecting dust room sitting

↓

W-What's the point of going on if most of everything

point

↓

that happens just ends up sitting in here?

ends happens sitting

↓

All right, kid.

↓

I don't know much aside from the fact that "Men in Black 2"

aside black fact

↓

is a joyless cash grab, but I do know that whatever you have

cash grab

↓

brewing around in your noggin really connected with you.

connected

↓

I can't deny that,

deny

↓

and I can't deny that I'm inspired by your passion.

deny inspired passion

↓

I want in. Suicide pact!

pact suicide suicide-pact

↓

[ Ray gun powers up ]

powers

↓

Together, you old son of a bitch! On three!

bitch three

↓

One...

↓

Two...

↓

You guys doing Morty's Mind Blowers?

mind

↓

Morty's Mind Blowers?

mind

↓

[ Sighs ] Grandpa, is this scenario three?

grandpa scenario sighs three

↓

Uh, w-what's that, and w-who are you?

↓

Oh, man, it's a scenario four.

four scenario

↓

[ Spits ]

spits

↓

[ Dart gun shooting ]

dart shooting

↓

Ugh, fucking goddamn it!

fucking goddamn goddamn-it

↓

I don't get paid enough for this shit!

paid

↓

There's a Craftsman nearby. I can smell it.

nearby smell

↓

Whoa, what -- what --

whoa

↓

Can I help you?

↓

H-How did we fall asleep during interdimensional cable?

asleep cable fall fall-asleep

↓

- Yeah, what the hell, Summer? - Summer, you dumb bitch!

bitch dumb dumb-bitch summer

↓

How long were we out, you dumb bitch!

bitch dumb dumb-bitch

↓

How much interdimensional cable did we miss, you stupid bitch!

bitch cable miss stupid stupid-bitch

↓

How many improv TV shows with commercials did we miss, Summer?

commercials improv miss shows summer

↓

Why did you let us fall asleep? You dumb bitch!

asleep bitch dumb dumb-bitch fall fall-asleep

↓

All right, Morty, fuck this noise.

fuck morty noise

↓

Let's get out of here and go on a classic

classic

↓

- Rick and Morty adventure. - Yeah, right, Rick, I'm all-in.

adventure morty rick

↓

No wonder you're constantly fighting

constantly fighting wonder

↓

with each other and behind schedule.

behind schedule

↓

What? Nothing.

↓

♪♪

↓

♪♪

↓

♪♪

↓

Rick? Hello?

rick

↓

Just here for my putter.

↓

Jerry's Mind Blowers?

mind

↓

♪♪

↓

Follow the boys!

boys follow

↓

♪♪

↓

We're charged and aimed at Alpha Centauri,

aimed alpha charged

↓

ready for transport.

ready transport

↓

They fell for it! Let's send Gobo home!

fell home send

↓

[ Laughter ]

laughter

↓

- Where's dad? - He should be here any second.

second

↓

It's funny, Jerry spent his life seeking attention,

attention funny jerry life seeking spent

↓

but in the end, humanity's instinctive dismissal of him

↓

saved an alien's life.

aliens life saved

↓

He knows where to go, right?

knows

↓

Yep, any minute now.

minute

↓

[ Music playing ]

music music-playing playing

↓

Did it work? Did you guys get Gobo home?

home

↓

You have Gobo! You were supposed to bring him to the hill!

bring hill supposed

↓

As if. He was in your basket.

basket

↓

He was in your car!

↓

[ Chewing ]

chewing

↓

Oh!

↓

Oof! Dibs on his stuff.

dibs stuff

↓

Did you get any of that?