Home » It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia » S12E07 — PTSDee

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Season 12, Episode 7 — PTSDee

Come on, this way.

#1

⇓

It sounds like it got quiet out there.

#4

⇓

Yeah.

#5

⇓

Shit! Frank! There's somebody here.

#6

⇓

Is anybody here?

#7

⇓

Speak up, we will shoot.

#8

⇓

Wait, hold your fire, Frank! It's just a kid.

#9

⇓

Hey, boy. Is that water for us?

#10

⇓

Jesus Christ, Frank, you just killed a kid!

#11

⇓

Eh.

#12

⇓

Jesus Christ!

#13

⇓

I'm gonna give him CPR.

#15

⇓

Now, is he blowing someone? What is happening?

#16

⇓

- Yeah, looks like it. - Jesus Christ,

#17

⇓

Frank, he was just trying to give us water, man!

#18

⇓

Forget it, he's dead.

#19

⇓

You can't go around killing kids!

#20

⇓

Think about his mom and his dad.

#21

⇓

- How long they been playing this for? - Oh, dude.

#22

⇓

- Three straight days. - They've been playing this

#23

⇓

- for three days? - Yeah, absolutely.

#24

⇓

No. No, they've just been wandering around the bar,

#26

⇓

blowing kids, doing whatever they're doing, you know?

#27

⇓

- Frank, behind you! - Is this where we're headed?

#28

⇓

As a world? Know what I mean. As a society?

#29

⇓

Hey, uh, have any of you seen my guy yet?

#30

⇓

- What is this, now? - What? Who?

#31

⇓

- What do you want to tell us? Tell us. - Oh, I just

#32

⇓

totally hooked up with this super hot

#33

⇓

- Oh, you're dating a stripper. - Mmm-hmm.

#35

⇓

- Wow, gross. - Gross? If you guys started

#36

⇓

dating a stripper, you'd be bragging about it for days.

#37

⇓

Uh, she's talking about Channing Tatum.

#40

⇓

- He's an actor. - What do I know him in?

#41

⇓

- Well, he plays G.I. Joe. - Oh!

#42

⇓

- Oh, G.I. Joe's the shit. - Yeah, yeah.

#43

⇓

Well, then say G.I. Joe, don't make up a name.

#44

⇓

All right, you know what, whatever. It doesn't matter.

#45

⇓

Anyway, we had this really amazing connection

#46

⇓

- Makes me want to throw up. - Yeah.

#48

⇓

is happening right now? I think the guy's

#50

⇓

coming by because you stole his watch.

#51

⇓

Oh, right, you jacked his wallet or something,

#52

⇓

so he'd come over and you...

#53

⇓

- Yeah. - To get him to talk to you again.

#54

⇓

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

#55

⇓

- Hello. Hey. - Hey, Mike.

#56

⇓

Thanks for calling me.

#57

⇓

- Yeah. Thanks for coming by. - So you have my watch?

#58

⇓

- Oh... - Yeah. Just diving straight into that?

#59

⇓

Listen, um, I'm really glad you called, though.

#60

⇓

Thank you for last night.

#62

⇓

Yeah. It's like we were having sex and the whole time...

#63

⇓

- Yeah. - I was like, "What's become of me?"

#64

⇓

You know, all I do is I strip all night,

#65

⇓

I play video games all day, I have meaningless sex with strangers.

#66

⇓

My own daughter won't even talk to me, you know? So I was like... "Damn."

#67

⇓

Oh.

#69

⇓

That's why I was crying.

#70

⇓

Oh. Right, yeah.

#71

⇓

- Yeah. - But don't take it personally.

#72

⇓

No. Because it... Why would it be?

#73

⇓

- All right, cool. - It's...

#74

⇓

- Yeah, cool. - Cool, 'cause it really

#75

⇓

helped me realize I got to give that lifestyle up.

#76

⇓

- Oh... - So thank you.

#77

⇓

You're welcome.

#78

⇓

Dee?

#81

⇓

- Yeah. - Cool.

#82

⇓

Now, can I get that watch, or...

#83

⇓

- Dee, I think he just wants his watch. - I think he needs his...

#84

⇓

- Yeah, I understand. - Oh, yeah, yeah.

#85

⇓

Rock bottom? Me? Uh, hey, buddy, how about when

#86

⇓

your daughter stopped talking to you,

#87

⇓

I'm not rock bottom.

#89

⇓

You know what I am? I'm a rock.

#90

⇓

Dee is a rock. In fact, I'm the type of gal

#91

⇓

who makes men's lives better.

#92

⇓

Hey-o! You guys mind if I shower in that leaky urinal again?

#93

⇓

Well, that... Don't count that. That's not a good example.

#94

⇓

No, I got to do something about this, God damn it.

#95

⇓

tell you something right now.

#97

⇓

Sweet Dee is a rock.

#98

⇓

God damn it, Frank, you shot a woman.

#99

⇓

Who cares? Jesus Christ, man,

#100

⇓

I got to take a break.

#102

⇓

It's driving me insane.

#103

⇓

Come on, how are we gonna win if you keep quitting?

#104

⇓

I don't care!

#105

⇓

- Yeah. Yeah. - This is pathetic.

#107

⇓

Dee can't handle a little rejection.

#108

⇓

Mac's banged up over

#109

⇓

- Yeah. - It's...

#111

⇓

because he gets to take his clothes off

#113

⇓

in front of a bunch of horny ladies.

#114

⇓

And then he has sex with one disgusting bird.

#115

⇓

- Yeah. - Come on, man,

#116

⇓

- that's not trauma. Not real trauma. - Nah. It's not even that bad.

#117

⇓

I mean, if anything, that's insulting to people

#118

⇓

- who have experienced real trauma. - I think it is. Yeah.

#119

⇓

I mean, like you, for instance.

#120

⇓

Uh, me?

#121

⇓

Well, yeah. Sure, man. I mean, you grew up fatherless.

#122

⇓

You were raised by a woman who was basically a prostitute.

#123

⇓

Well, the father stuff was real. Yeah, without a doubt.

#124

⇓

Got some daddy issues there. And you, too. I mean,

#125

⇓

like, you know, what happened with you

#126

⇓

with Ms. Klinsky, the librarian. I mean, you were raped.

#127

⇓

And that's got to affect you.

#128

⇓

- That's trauma. - Will you stop? Why do you guys...

#129

⇓

That wasn't a rape, okay?

#130

⇓

- It was. - That was a mutual... No, stop.

#131

⇓

She's an older woman, you were a younger...

#132

⇓

A woman can't rape a guy.

#133

⇓

An older woman can rape a younger...

#134

⇓

- Doesn't matter. That's not the point. - Right, right. This is separate, yeah.

#135

⇓

it's not the point. The point is, yeah, fine, I'll do it.

#136

⇓

You'll do what?

#137

⇓

I'll strip. Yeah.

#138

⇓

Huh. I didn't realize you were talking about that.

#139

⇓

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Huh.

#140

⇓

You know, if this Mike fella wants to walk away

#141

⇓

from an amazing stripping career, hey, I'll take up that mantle.

#142

⇓

You know, frankly, I'm a little disappointed

#143

⇓

in myself for not thinking of it before.

#144

⇓

- You know? It just makes sense. - Right, yeah.

#145

⇓

Here's the thing, man. I can't do it without you.

#146

⇓

I need you to get my back.

#147

⇓

Oh, uh, you want me to strip with you?

#148

⇓

Oh, oh, no, no, no, no, no. I... No, I just literally

#149

⇓

need you to have a look at my back, you know,

#150

⇓

make sure there's no moles or, like, unsightly hairs,

#151

⇓

- bumps, zits, that kind of thing. - Ah, yeah...

#152

⇓

- And then, you know, get after it. - Yeah, I'll clean you up.

#153

⇓

All right, all right, I can do that.

#154

⇓

Cool, man. You be my boy?

#155

⇓

Yeah, I'll be the boy.

#156

⇓

Well, just be my bag boy.

#157

⇓

You know, carry around my lotions, my oils, my scents, my razors.

#158

⇓

Cool, man. Chill.

#159

⇓

- Yeah, that's cool, right? - Yeah, that's cool, bro. Cool.

#160

⇓

Frank, where are you, man? I can't see.

#161

⇓

Jesus Christ.

#162

⇓

Oh, who's there? Oh...

#163

⇓

Hey, boy.

#164

⇓

How you doing, man?

#165

⇓

No! Baba!

#166

⇓

- Mama! - Oh, shit!

#167

⇓

Oh, no, man! I'm so sorry, man.

#168

⇓

Hey, son.

#169

⇓

Dad? What are you doing here? How did you get in the game?

#170

⇓

Guess we

#171

⇓

won't be having that catch

#172

⇓

after all.

#173

⇓

You were gonna have a catch with me?

#174

⇓

I was, but

#175

⇓

you killed me, son.

#176

⇓

I love...

#177

⇓

Wait! Wait, Dad! Who do you love? Dad, who do you love? Wait.

#178

⇓

Dad, who do you love? No, Dad! No!

#179

⇓

What the hell?

#180

⇓

Oh, was that a dream?

#181

⇓

Dennis?

#182

⇓

Oh, my God, I just had the weirdest dream.

#183

⇓

- What? - Frank.

#184

⇓

Look, I can't sleep. I'm having nightmares.

#185

⇓

- Dead kids, dads. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, Mac.

#186

⇓

Slow down. What are you saying?

#187

⇓

I got to quit the game, dude. I can't

#188

⇓

- do this anymore. - No, no, no.

#189

⇓

Don't quit just yet.

#190

⇓

- Look, have a drink and calm down. - Okay, fine.

#191

⇓

I'll calm down. I'll drink some whiskey or something.

#192

⇓

Yeah, stuff it down with brown.

#193

⇓

That's the best way to deal with things.

#194

⇓

Okay.

#195

⇓

Kid's a mess.

#196

⇓

God damn it, Charlie, we're 30 minutes late.

#197

⇓

I'm so sorry I cut your back so many times, man.

#198

⇓

- What happened? - I was nervous, dude.

#199

⇓

- Why? - I've never cut such a muscular back.

#200

⇓

- Thanks, man. - Yeah. Dude, your back looks great, man.

#201

⇓

I'm working hard.

#202

⇓

Dude, you're putting the work in, and it's showing, man.

#203

⇓

Thank you so much. I really appreciate that.

#204

⇓

- But let's not talk about it in there. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

#205

⇓

Don't bring it up.

#206

⇓

Can you walk me through what your guy is again?

#207

⇓

Okay, so here's the deal.

#208

⇓

Who do girls want to have sex with more than anybody else?

#209

⇓

- Jugglers. - Jug...

#210

⇓

- Dudes who can, like, juggle things. - I know what a juggler is.

#211

⇓

You know, with the fire sticks and the balls.

#212

⇓

Yeah. No, they don't want to have sex with a juggler.

#213

⇓

They want to have sex with their dads.

#214

⇓

- Weird. - Yeah, it is weird, so I'm a dad.

#215

⇓

Oh. Okay, cool. Oh, and I'm your boy.

#216

⇓

- All right, that works. - Well, no. What? Why would you be my boy?

#217

⇓

Oh, you said I was gonna be your boy 'cause I have daddy trauma,

#218

⇓

and then I didn't realize I was gonna be your boy

#219

⇓

in there, but that works great.

#220

⇓

No, that doesn't make any sense.

#221

⇓

How would you be my...

#222

⇓

I'm their dad. How could I also be your dad?

#223

⇓

We can't all be related. Christ, Charlie,

#224

⇓

- you're not making any sense, man. - Right, right.

#225

⇓

Yeah, I mean, you could have a lot of kids, I guess.

#226

⇓

I got to say, though, I'm looking inside there,

#227

⇓

and this isn't making sense to me.

#228

⇓

I mean, these are all older women. Might be

#229

⇓

a little bit hard for me to pull off the dad thing at all.

#230

⇓

- That's not a good play. - I'm getting a bad feeling about this.

#231

⇓

Hey, do you think maybe that's 'cause

#232

⇓

- of your librarian trauma? - You're talking about Ms. Klinsky?

#233

⇓

- Yeah, she was an older woman, and... - What? No. There was...

#234

⇓

Let's not talk... Can we stop talking about trauma

#235

⇓

- and cuts on peoples' backs? - Yes.

#236

⇓

And let's... It's not sexy, okay?

#237

⇓

- Okay, yeah, well, then let's split. - Okay.

#238

⇓

- All right, let's go. - All right, man.

#239

⇓

Are you the stripper?

#240

⇓

- Oh, uh, yeah, that's him. - Uh...

#241

⇓

- What, are you 40? - Yup.

#242

⇓

Fine. You guys'll do, I guess.

#243

⇓

You guys? No. Sorry. I'm just the boy.

#244

⇓

- The what? - Sorry. I'm his boy.

#245

⇓

Well, you're not my boy. He's not...

#246

⇓

Are you gonna stand out here and talk like little bitches,

#247

⇓

or are you gonna come inside and take your dicks out for money?

#248

⇓

Daddy?

#249

⇓

Don't call me Daddy.

#250

⇓

Yeah, my generation, we drank our problems away.

#251

⇓

But since you softies like to talk about everything,

#252

⇓

I figured this was a good thing to do.

#253

⇓

A PTSD support group, Frank?

#254

⇓

Yeah. Maybe you'll get some help,

#255

⇓

- we can finish the damn game. - What's up, dicks?

#256

⇓

What the hell are you doing here?

#257

⇓

Well, because I am a rock and not a rock bottom, I decided

#258

⇓

to reach out to Mike and see if I could get him some help

#259

⇓

with, uh, some of these issues he's been having.

#260

⇓

I'm confused. Is this a PTSD meeting for vets?

#261

⇓

Mmm-hmm, yeah. You're a military guy, right?

#262

⇓

No. It was just my stripper character.

#263

⇓

Really? Oh, I just figured you based

#264

⇓

- your characters off past experiences. - Why?

#265

⇓

Okay, look, I'm not gonna pass myself off as a vet, Frank.

#266

⇓

- Yeah, I don't feel good about this. - Well, then just don't talk.

#267

⇓

You don't have to talk. Just sit down.

#268

⇓

Okay, everybody, let's grab a chair, let's get this started.

#269

⇓

- Probably not gonna call on you anyway. - Okay, right off the bat,

#270

⇓

I can see we got some newcomers

#271

⇓

here today. You guys want to introduce yourselves?

#272

⇓

Ugh. God damn it.

#273

⇓

Uh, I'm Frank.

#274

⇓

I've been around the block, seen some action.

#275

⇓

I was in 'Nam for a while.

#276

⇓

Private sector mostly.

#277

⇓

I did shoot a couple of dinks

#278

⇓

who tried to jack some sneakers off the factory floor.

#279

⇓

No big deal. I don't feel nothing about it.

#280

⇓

I'm just here to support my buddy.

#281

⇓

Uh...

#282

⇓

Hello. I'm Dee. I'm a rock. I'm here with this guy.

#283

⇓

There was a bit of a mix-up about his military credentials,

#284

⇓

but, uh... Whatever.

#285

⇓

Now he's under the delusion that he's hit rock bottom,

#286

⇓

you know, and I just don't see how that's possibly true,

#287

⇓

so we're gonna straighten that up while we're

#288

⇓

sitting here today, you know.

#289

⇓

Mac's being a pussy!

#290

⇓

He doesn't want to fight anymore!

#291

⇓

I'm not being a pussy.

#292

⇓

I just don't want to kill women and children.

#293

⇓

How do I get him to stop thinking of them as real people?

#294

⇓

Mike's embarrassed about his dancing, and I just... I don't get that.

#295

⇓

I don't... How is that rock bottom behavior?

#296

⇓

You know? Think of Channing Tatum.

#297

⇓

Can you please explain Channing Tatum to him?

#298

⇓

- I'm not sure I follow... - Oh, yeah. He's G.I. Joe.

#299

⇓

Mac can't sleep at night.

#300

⇓

He's having erotic nightmares and shit.

#301

⇓

- He doesn't know what's real anymore. - Yeah.

#302

⇓

Mike's embarrassed about his video game-playing, which makes

#303

⇓

no sense to me, 'cause you know what? Video games are hard.

#304

⇓

- You ever play Fallujah? - Beat it five times.

#305

⇓

- You want to play with me? - I'm actually trying to get away from it.

#306

⇓

Well, what if he paid you?

#307

⇓

- Ten bucks an hour. - 20.

#308

⇓

- Deal. - Wow. Really?

#309

⇓

Well, will you look at that? Now we're getting somewhere, huh?

#310

⇓

That couldn't have happened without your rock, could it?

#311

⇓

Wait a second, Frank. What about me?

#312

⇓

You're out. Dishonorable discharge.

#313

⇓

I'm sorry. What is happening here?

#314

⇓

- Doesn't matter. We're done with you. - Yeah, we're good.

#315

⇓

- Hey, son. - Dad?

#316

⇓

What are you doing here?

#317

⇓

I broke out of jail and came straight to see you.

#318

⇓

- Because you love me? - 'Cause I'm gonna kill you, son.

#319

⇓

What? Oh. Oh, no!

#320

⇓

What... What's happening?

#321

⇓

When did I get here? How long have I been asleep?

#322

⇓

You got here, like, five minutes ago. You've been asleep for 35 seconds.

#323

⇓

Oh, Jesus Christ, I'm losing my mind.

#324

⇓

- I mean, I'm actually going insane. - You know,

#325

⇓

we're all having a little bit of a hard time right now.

#326

⇓

But we got to fight fire with fire,

#327

⇓

and Charlie and I refuse to be defeated by this.

#328

⇓

We're gonna win this war.

#329

⇓

- What war? - The war on women!

#330

⇓

Women, man!

#331

⇓

There's a war on women? Can I get in on that?

#332

⇓

Bro, it's been raging

#333

⇓

since the beginning of time, bro.

#334

⇓

- Oh. - And we're losing ground.

#335

⇓

Phone!

#336

⇓

Hello.

#337

⇓

Ah, yeah.

#338

⇓

Uh, yeah, is youse Daddy and the Boy?

#339

⇓

Uh, yes, it is. Boy speaking.

#340

⇓

Oh.

#341

⇓

Yeah. Uh, I hear youse are rule good.

#342

⇓

Well, yeah, that is true.

#343

⇓

Well, I've got a party for you.

#344

⇓

- Um, Daddy wants to speak with you. - Yeah.

#345

⇓

Yeah, this is Daddy. What's the gig?

#346

⇓

Uh, yeah, a giant party. Tons of sorority girls.

#347

⇓

Sorority girls. Oh, sorority girls. Nice.

#348

⇓

Did you just lick your hand? Yeah, that...

#349

⇓

That sounds good. Um, listen, a few new ground rules, though.

#350

⇓

I'm a bad dad now. And, uh,

#351

⇓

the Boy's also gonna be dancing with me.

#352

⇓

Okay. Uh, whatever. Uh, uh...

#353

⇓

Yeah, we need Mike. We need him.

#354

⇓

- Mike? Why do you want Mike, Dee? - What? You knew it was me?

#355

⇓

Of course I knew it was you. Who else does accents so poorly?

#356

⇓

- The accents were terrible. - All right, look, I just...

#357

⇓

I want him to have fun, make a ton of money,

#358

⇓

party with a bunch of sorority girls, you know?

#359

⇓

I need to show him that this is a great life.

#360

⇓

This is not a rock-bottom life.

#361

⇓

We'll do it at Paddy's. It'll be a win-win.

#362

⇓

Make a ton of mon...

#363

⇓

Yes. Okay.

#364

⇓

What? Hello?

#365

⇓

God damn it.

#366

⇓

This is good. This is good.

#367

⇓

Young girl sorority girls. It's, like, age-appropriate for me,

#368

⇓

you know? Not like those perverted librarians.

#369

⇓

- Cougars. Whatever, man. - Yeah.

#370

⇓

And it's gonna be on our home turf. Like, Paddy's.

#371

⇓

- Whoa. And with Mike, we'll be like a... - Oh.

#372

⇓

We'll be like an elite stripping dance force, like a unit, man.

#373

⇓

- Dude, we're gonna look good, man. - Yeah, man.

#374

⇓

- We're gonna win this war. - Oh, hell yeah.

#375

⇓

- We're gonna win this war on women. - Oh, yeah.

#376

⇓

You know what, Mac, maybe we could use you after all.

#377

⇓

- He's asleep. - Yeah, he's out.

#378

⇓

It's amazing! I can't believe they have zombies

#379

⇓

on the final level!

#380

⇓

I love zombies. Ghouls, too. I love ghouls.

#381

⇓

Right now, if we can just make it to that second box

#382

⇓

over there, we can grab the all spark coin

#383

⇓

and we can win the game.

#384

⇓

Can win the game.

#385

⇓

Can win the game.

#386

⇓

Frank? Where are you, man? I can't see.

#387

⇓

Shit! Frank!

#388

⇓

Frank. Frank.

#389

⇓

Frank! Frank!

#390

⇓

Oh. What happened?

#391

⇓

Where am I?

#392

⇓

Oh, you're in the back office. You passed out

#393

⇓

playing the game, dude. We dragged you back here so you could sleep.

#394

⇓

Oh, Mac. I think I was too hard on you.

#395

⇓

I think I got PTSD, too.

#396

⇓

- Oh, no. We don't have that. - Huh?

#397

⇓

Yeah, I actually slept about ten hours last night, dude,

#398

⇓

and I feel great.

#399

⇓

I think we were just suffering from sleep deprivation.

#400

⇓

Well, where's Mike? I want to finish the game.

#401

⇓

Oh, we finished the game. Yeah, like, right after

#402

⇓

you passed out, Mike and I just got in there.

#403

⇓

- Dude, it was awesome. - Do you want to do it again?

#404

⇓

No, I don't want to play anymore.

#405

⇓

Well, where's Mike? I'll do it with him.

#406

⇓

He's out, too. Yeah, he's doing

#407

⇓

some weird stripping thing with Dennis and Charlie.

#408

⇓

I only woke you up 'cause I figured you'd want to see it.

#409

⇓

- Yeah? - Yeah.

#410

⇓

I really appreciate you getting me this gig. I mean, truthfully,

#411

⇓

I don't think I was ready to give this lifestyle up.

#412

⇓

Of course not. Why would you? You're really good

#413

⇓

at dancing. That's nothing to be ashamed of.

#414

⇓

Listen, you like video games? I got you paid for it.

#415

⇓

You're a great stripper? I got you this gig.

#416

⇓

- You know what I'm gonna do for you next? - What?

#417

⇓

I'm gonna reunite you with your daughter.

#418

⇓

- Oh, man. - Yep.

#419

⇓

Look, I really appreciate everything you've done.

#420

⇓

It really, really means a lot to me.

#421

⇓

Eh, well, you just needed your rock.

#422

⇓

- Fire it up. All right. No, feels good. - Smell good? Everything poppin'?

#423

⇓

- What do you think? Like how it smells? - It looks good.

#424

⇓

- You can't see the blood. It's patched up. - Okay, good.

#425

⇓

- What do you think about my prop, hmm? - That's really cool.

#426

⇓

- A little kid licking that up there. - What-what am I smelling?

#427

⇓

- Cheese. Yeah, yeah. - Is that made of cheese?

#428

⇓

- I painted the rest with magic marker. - Oh, Christ.

#429

⇓

Why did you make a cheese lollipop? It stinks.

#430

⇓

- For my nerves. Yeah. - That smells horrible.

#431

⇓

Oh, God. There's nothing sexy about cheese. Put it away.

#432

⇓

Ladies,

#433

⇓

are we ready to party tonight?

#434

⇓

So am I.

#435

⇓

All right.

#436

⇓

We're gonna see some skin tonight. Yeah.

#437

⇓

Scars and all. This, actually, is a real scar, too.

#438

⇓

And I got a good story behind that.

#439

⇓

This is, uh... They took out the kidney, actually,

#440

⇓

from the front... A Chinaman. And he did not know

#441

⇓

how to do it, I'll tell you that much.

#442

⇓

Cricket was a bad idea, huh?

#443

⇓

Yeah, I know. But we needed that, like, you know,

#444

⇓

- McConaughey emcee-type. - Yeah. But looks like we got

#445

⇓

AIDS Dallas Buyers Club McConaughey,

#446

⇓

- not Magic Mike McConaughey. - That is what he looks like.

#447

⇓

It's a good crowd, though. It's a good crowd. All right, well...

#448

⇓

That was the first time that I really thought,

#449

⇓

"Hey, I might actually, uh...

#450

⇓

"I might die, and no one's gonna remember."

#451

⇓

All right! Hey!

#452

⇓

Let's, uh, keep it movin'.

#453

⇓

Keepin' it real, keepin' it sexy, and takin' back the power,

#454

⇓

let's give it up for Daddy and the Boy!

#455

⇓

Hey, Boy, let's have a catch.

#456

⇓

My child arrived

#457

⇓

Over here, Pop.

#458

⇓

Hey. Good throw, son.

#459

⇓

I love you, Dad!

#460

⇓

- I love you, too, son. - Oh?

#461

⇓

And even though I never even said it enough.

#462

⇓

- What is this? - I wasn't a good... Shh!

#463

⇓

I wasn't a good father to you, and I regret that now.

#464

⇓

No, that's fine, because now is our chance to connect.

#465

⇓

This is super weird.

#466

⇓

Hey! Shush, all right?

#467

⇓

This is our thing. We have the power. You don't talk.

#468

⇓

All right, you know what, Dad, don't listen to them,

#469

⇓

'cause we're gonna win this war.

#470

⇓

- This is not sexy! - Just take something off!

#471

⇓

You know, you take something off!

#472

⇓

All right, look, it's too hot for baseball.

#473

⇓

I'll take my clothes off now. I think.

#474

⇓

- Okay! - Yeah, now we'll take our clothes off.

#475

⇓

Yeah!

#476

⇓

Wait, wait, son, don't. Don't. They're laughing.

#477

⇓

Don't take your clothes off if they're laughing. We have the power.

#478

⇓

- It's not a joke! - It's not a joke, all right? This is sexy.

#479

⇓

Oh, stop, sto... Oh, you know what?

#480

⇓

You might want to check your programs 'cause I'm bad dad now.

#481

⇓

I'll take you to your goddamn room.

#482

⇓

- I'll bend you over my knee. - Take your dicks out!

#483

⇓

All right, listen to me. This is it, this is what you were made for.

#484

⇓

Now you get out there and save the day, soldier.

#485

⇓

This is about a father and a son

#486

⇓

- whose relation... - Oh, come on!

#487

⇓

And now, the moment you've all been waiting for...

#488

⇓

Soldier Boy Mike.

#489

⇓

Everybody got 'em Everybody got 'em

#490

⇓

Everybody got 'em Everybody, everybody

#491

⇓

Everybody got 'em Everybody got 'em

#492

⇓

Everybody got 'em Everybody, everybody

#493

⇓

Everybody got 'em Everybody got 'em

#494

⇓

Everybody got 'em Everybody, everybody

#495

⇓

Everybody got 'em Everybody got 'em

#496

⇓

Everybody, every...

#497

⇓

- Dad? - Oh! Janie?

#498

⇓

- Oh! - Your cock was in my face!

#499

⇓

Oh, God, I didn't mean to! I didn't mean to!

#500

⇓

You're disgusting! My finger touched your asshole!

#501

⇓

Never talk to me again!

#502

⇓

I got you!

#503

⇓

I got you. I'm your rock bottom?

#504

⇓

I'm your rock... That's your rock bottom,

#505

⇓

sticking your dick in your daughter's face, you son of a bitch.

#506

⇓

- Why would you do that? - Get out of here!

#507

⇓

That's my daughter!

#508

⇓

Oh.

#509

⇓

Yes!

#510

⇓

- Wow. - Jesus Christ.

#511

⇓

Wow, Dee, that was dark. That's like the darkest thing

#512

⇓

you've ever done. You know what that was?

#513

⇓

- That was your rock bottom. - Yeah.

#514

⇓

- Yeah. - Whatever.

#515

⇓

Feel good. I don't want to talk about it.

#516

⇓

I don't want to talk about my thing. You want to talk about your thing?

#517

⇓

No, no, let's not. You know what we should do? Let's just, uh...

#518

⇓

let's just get drunk. Let's not talk about trauma.

#519

⇓

Or deal with any of that shit.

#520

⇓

Let's just have a good time and get drunk, huh?

#521

⇓

Stuff it down with some brown.

#522

⇓

And the cat's in the cradle

#523

⇓

And the silver spoon

#524

⇓

Little boy blue and the man in the moon

#525

⇓

"When you coming home, Dad?" "I don't know when

#526

⇓

"But we'll get together then

#527

⇓

"You know we'll have a good time then"

#528

⇓

My son turned ten just the other day

#529

⇓

He said, "Thanks for the ball, Dad, come on, let's play

#530

⇓

"Can you teach me to throw?" I said, "Not today..."

#531

⇓