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Home » It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia » S12E06 — Hero or Hate Crime?

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Season 12, Episode 6 — Hero or Hate Crime?

TMDB episode metadata

Show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Episode title: Hero or Hate Crime?

Air date: February 08, 2017

Director: Jamie Babbit

Top billed cast: Charlie Day, Glenn Howerton, Rob Mac, Kaitlin Olson, Danny DeVito

The gang fight over a lottery ticket and seek out an arbitrator to decide a rightful owner, who also decides if Frank is a hero or hate monger.

Source: TMDB

↓

What's going on with you? Are you limping?

limping

↓

- And my glutes are, like, so sore. - Yeah.

sore

↓

Know what it is?

↓

- Yeah, big-time. - Howdy.

howdy

↓

- Hi. - It's very windy today, isn't it?

today windy

↓

Yeah.

↓

Oh, man, look at this. Dog shit.

↓

Did you just step in that on purpose?

purpose step

↓

Oh, no, I just, you know, I didn't really see it.

↓

You pointed it out to me and then stepped directly in it.

directly pointed stepped

↓

- Since when do you read? - What? Nothing. No.

read

↓

Books are stupid. I don't. I was just...

books stupid

↓

I didn't time it out. Why would I do that?

↓

No idea. Why are you still standing in it?

idea standing

↓

- Sometimes it's in, sometimes it's out. - Are those mirrors?

mirrors sometimes

↓

- No. - You creep.

creep

↓

Look out, faggot!

faggot

↓

Hey, Frank, what the hell was that?

frank

↓

- But you called me the "F" word. - So what? I'm a hero.

called hero word

↓

You used a slur, dude. That's like a hate crime.

crime hate hate-crime slur used

↓

That's hateful speech.

hateful speech

↓

- You really can't. - But he saved his life.

life saved

↓

You're entitled to nothing!

entitled

↓

Listen, motion to present articles of confederation.

articles motion present

↓

- Motion denied. - Shut up, bitch.

bitch denied motion

↓

- You don't deserve anything. - Excuse me. Hey. Can I help you?

deserve excuse

↓

Usually, we're a pretty reasonable crew.

crew reasonable usually

↓

- Yeah, right? - Yeah.

↓

We have our differences, but we settle them in-house.

differences house settle

↓

We have a good process. There's filibusters, the whole thing.

process whole

↓

- No. - This one's a doozy.

doozy ones

↓

This one we can't do in-house.

house

↓

That's why I wanted to bring in a third party.

bring party third wanted

↓

- That's you, guy. - Yeah, that's you.

↓

Because a great injustice has occurred, okay?

injustice occurred

↓

Frank committed a hate crime.

committed crime frank hate hate-crime

↓

I saved your life.

life saved

↓

- What? - No.

↓

- Way off. - No, no, no.

↓

- No, it's not about that at all. - Yeah, it's about this.

↓

A $2 scratcher lottery ticket.

lottery scratcher ticket

↓

- Mm-hmm. - Yeah.

↓

You've hired an arbitration attorney

arbitration attorney hired

↓

to figure out which of you is entitled to a $2 scratcher?

entitled figure scratcher

↓

- Now you're getting it. - Me.

↓

- He's getting it. - Smart guy.

smart

↓

Each one of us feels that we're entitled to that ticket.

entitled feels ticket

↓

We need you to tell us who it belongs to.

belongs

↓

Why don't you scratch it, see if it's worthless,

scratch worthless

↓

then you wouldn't have to go through all of this?

↓

- So he's not getting it. - What?

↓

- Is he serious? - Do you not want a job?

serious

↓

Hold on. Is it Phil? Is your name Phil?

name phil

↓

- Yeah, Phil, yeah. - It is Phil?

phil

↓

It's Phil.

phil

↓

This ticket represents hope, okay?

hope represents ticket

↓

Potential, yeah?

potential

↓

Promise.

promise

↓

The very foundation upon which this group rests, eh?

foundation group

↓

- Yes. - And that hope belongs to me.

belongs hope

↓

It belongs to me, you son of a bitch!

belongs bitch

↓

Each of you will have an opportunity to plead your case.

case opportunity

↓

The only rule I have is that you each treat each other

rule treat

↓

Well, I'm very happy to do so.

happy

↓

- I do have a few questions. - Fire away.

fire questions

↓

Yeah.

↓

Now, the ticket in question, uh, who purchased it?

purchased question ticket

↓

Me! Thank you. It was me. That's why this whole thing is so cut and dry.

whole

↓

Hold on. I purchased the ticket, and therefore the ticket belongs to me.

belongs purchased therefore ticket

↓

And as I was putting my book into my purse,

book purse putting

↓

the ticket flew out and landed on the ground.

flew ground landed ticket

↓

And why hadn't you scratched the ticket yet?

scratched ticket

↓

But as long as you don't scratch it, then you're not a loser.

loser scratch

↓

- Hmm. - In fact, you're a winner.

fact winner

↓

Potentially.

potentially

↓

- God, Dee... - That is so sad!

↓

- It's so pathetic. - What...

pathetic

↓

- It is pathetic. - So sad.

pathetic

↓

talking about how the ticket represented hope.

hope represented ticket

↓

Somehow coming from you, it just came off so sad.

coming

↓

Hold on. Motion for sub-arbitration to determine whether or not that's sad.

arbitration determine motion whether

↓

- Motion accepted. All in favor? - Aye.

accepted favor motion

↓

Motion passed. It's sad, Dee.

motion passed

↓

I'd also like to point out that while Dee's version is the truth,

dees point truth version

↓

it's not the whole truth.

truth whole

↓

Why don't we talk about the contents of Dee's purse?

contents dees purse

↓

The scratcher ticket, the candy sour worms,

candy scratcher sour ticket worms

↓

the pack of cigarettes.

cigarettes pack

↓

Now, what I wanna know is how can a woman

woman

↓

who makes less than minimum wage afford such impulse buys?

afford buys impulse less makes minimum minimum-wage wage

↓

Is this about your weight? Because if it is, you're already too bony.

bony weight

↓

No, I think you're getting pretty tubby in the midsection area.

area tubby

↓

- What? - Like a bird.

bird

↓

No, no, that's fine.

↓

Her hands are becoming a major problem for me, though.

becoming hands major problem

↓

I have Parkinson's disease.

disease

↓

What?

↓

At least I have a 46% chance of getting Parkinson's disease,

chance disease least

↓

according to a DNA test I took.

according test

↓

The medical journal was because I'm trying to learn

journal learn medical

↓

as much as I can about this.

↓

And, guys, according to that, smoking can reduce your risk of--

according reduce risk smoking

↓

- Oh, my God, who gives a shit? - Oh, please.

gives

↓

This isn't about whether or not you have some horrific neurological disease,

disease horrific whether

↓

or whether or not your hands are the right size.

hands size whether

↓

They are, but your elbows are a mess. They're too sharp.

elbows mess sharp

↓

I don't like it. They're stabbing me.

stabbing

↓

- That's what it is. - You got it.

↓

That's not the point.

point

↓

The point is how can you actually afford to smoke?

afford point smoke

↓

You see, Dee and I had a deal.

deal

↓

I give her money for coffee every morning on the way to work.

coffee money morning

↓

And she's instructed to give

↓

a very generous tip to the cashier, Cassie.

cassie generous

↓

"This is from my boss, Dennis."

boss dennis

↓

Now, this establishes both generosity and authority.

authority generosity

↓

Possibly a little dominance.

dominance possibly

↓

It's all a choreographed dance between two soon-to-be lovers.

dance lovers

↓

Ah...

↓

Cassie's underage.

underage

↓

No, what?

↓

What are you talking about? Cassie is not underage.

cassie underage

↓

Cassie is 21 years old.

cassie years

↓

So, the champagne I was purchasing

champagne purchasing

↓

was to celebrate her legal drinking status.

celebrate drinking legal status

↓

And to honor her full maturity.

full honor maturity

↓

You see, I was waiting for Cassie to mature.

cassie mature waiting

↓

You know, much like an IRA.

↓

You put the money in, then you wait.

money

↓

And then you make a hefty withdrawal.

hefty withdrawal

↓

Okay, yeah, sure.

↓

Before full maturity, yeah, ew.

full maturity

↓

But weren't you just saying

↓

that you were doing deposits before maturity?

deposits maturity

↓

No. See, that's where you're wrong.

↓

No, I was, between the ages of 18 and 21, simply making investments.

ages investments simply

↓

But not for early deposits?

deposits early

↓

Deposits are part of the withdrawal.

deposits part withdrawal

↓

Sometimes I can't make a deposit at all.

deposit sometimes

↓

Ugh, come on, man. Just...

↓

Okay, just to be clear. A deposit's a load, right?

clear deposits load

↓

- Yeah. - Exactly.

↓

That's not what I'm talking about. No, it's totally different...

↓

- Are you sure? - No, with my...

↓

Look, not in this particular case, it's not a load. It's...

case load particular particular-case

↓

Yeah, it's a load.

load

↓

- Yeah. - But that's not the point!

point

↓

The point is, Dee has no rightful claim to that ticket,

claim point rightful ticket

↓

and I'll prove it.

prove

↓

You see, yesterday, after noticing the contents of her purse,

contents noticing purse yesterday

↓

I decided to follow her this morning.

decided follow morning

↓

Cassie never gets her tip, does she, Dee?

cassie

↓

No. Because I refuse to tip for coffee.

coffee refuse

↓

- I think it's dumb. - Uh-huh.

dumb

↓

So, if you were buying circus peanuts, candy sour worms and cigarettes,

buying candy cigarettes circus peanuts sour worms

↓

I think we all know what that means about the ticket in question, don't we?

question ticket

↓

I don't. Do you know?

↓

- No. - Totally lost.

lost

↓

That means she bought it with my money!

bought money

↓

So, technically, that ticket is mine!

technically ticket

↓

Okay, okay, okay.

↓

Now, let me sum up the facts thus far.

facts

↓

Miss Reynolds bought the ticket with Mr. Reynolds' money.

bought miss miss-reynolds money reynolds ticket

↓

But Mr. MacDonald currently possesses it.

currently macdonald

↓

Correct. But I deserve it, and here's why.

correct deserve

↓

There we were, just walking down the street, minding our own business.

business minding street walking

↓

I'd just spotted the perfect pile of dog shit,

perfect pile spotted

↓

and naturally, I stepped in it.

naturally stepped

↓

- What? - Whoa.

whoa

↓

Okay, I'm a little confused.

confused

↓

Why would you voluntarily step into the dog feces?

feces step voluntarily

↓

- I didn't, really... - You just said you did.

↓

- You said, naturally, you did. - We all watched you do it.

naturally watched

↓

All right, fine.

↓

I voluntarily stepped in the dog shit so that I would smell of dog shit.

smell stepped voluntarily

↓

Happy?

happy

↓

- Less happy. - Why would I be happy?

happy less

↓

I was trying to cover up the smell of the skunk that I let spray me,

cover skunk smell spray

↓

so that there would be no questions.

questions

↓

- Now I have more questions. - Of course.

course questions

↓

Why did you let a skunk spray you?

skunk spray

↓

- To cover the smell of cologne. - Oh, man.

cologne cover smell

↓

Go to the beginning. Go to the first smell!

beginning smell

↓

The first smell that begat all the other smells!

smell smells

↓

The first smell was cigarettes! I've been smoking with Dee!

cigarettes smell smoking

↓

Fine, I said it.

↓

Oh, okay. So, you thought we would care about the smell of cigarettes,

care cigarettes smell

↓

but not the smell of skunk or dog shit?

skunk smell

↓

It doesn't matter, anyway, because I deserve the ticket.

deserve matter ticket

↓

Because if the shit shoe's a matcher, Charlie gets the scratcher!

charlie scratcher shoes

↓

- What the shit? - Come on.

↓

That shirt reeks!

reeks shirt

↓

Is that what that smell was? I thought it was just him.

smell

↓

It does smell very bad, but give me a cigarette, I'll cover it up.

cigarette cover smell

↓

But if it smells like shit, you must acquit.

must smells

↓

If everyone's gonna be smoking on my dime...

dime everyones smoking

↓

Nobody is debating whether or not the shoe print is yours.

debating nobody print shoe whether

↓

We all know that it is, because everybody saw you kick me.

everybody kick

↓

We're debating whether or not you saved my life, which you did not,

debating life saved whether

↓

because I was just about to do a backflip to safety when you--

safety

↓

Bullshit. He's never once flipped!

bullshit flipped

↓

- The man has never flipped. - I do flips all the time.

flipped flips

↓

- You've never once flipped. - In the pool?

flipped pool

↓

Which you would not have done had I not warned you,

warned

↓

thereby saving your life!

life saving thereby

↓

That is my ticket.

ticket

↓

Oh...

↓

Ridiculous. "Backflip."

ridiculous

↓

There I was, minding my own business,

business minding

↓

bird watching.

bird watching

↓

Beautiful day, isn't it?

↓

- It's really gorgeous, and... - Are those mirrors?

gorgeous mirrors

↓

- No. - You creep.

creep

↓

He wasn't really bird watching, he was looking up women's skirts.

bird looking watching womens

↓

- He peeps on women. - He's disgusting.

disgusting peeps women

↓

Like I said, bird watching. Not you.

bird watching

↓

Now, the point is that I said, "Look out, faggot,"

faggot point

↓

which were the words that saved Mac's life.

life macs saved words

↓

Thereby, I am entitled to at least half that ticket.

entitled half least thereby ticket

↓

Why did you use the slur instead of just yelling your friend's name?

friends name slur yelling

↓

There was a lot going on. I needed something that would cut through.

needed

↓

Well, as soon as I said the slur, everybody knew to look at Mac.

everybody slur

↓

Look out, faggot!

faggot

↓

Mac knew to look.

↓

Dennis and Dee knew to look.

dennis

↓

Charlie, who kicked him in the chest, knew to look.

charlie chest kicked

↓

Hell, even the little kid with the balloon knew where to look.

balloon

↓

Okay, it may have been effective,

effective

↓

but it was an offensive slur.

offensive slur

↓

And a bigot should not be entitled to a hero's payout.

bigot entitled

↓

You're allowed to use any language you want

allowed language

↓

to save somebody's life.

life save somebodys somebodys-life

↓

- Really? Any language? - Yes.

language

↓

You gonna let a man die over a word?

word

↓

Come on. It's just a word.

word

↓

"Just a word." Oh. Okay.

word

↓

Frank, tell me something.

frank

↓

If you were going to save somebody else's life from a falling piano,

elses falling life piano save somebody somebody-elses

↓

and you needed a word to just cut right through...

needed word

↓

What word would you use to call out to the arbiter?

word

↓

Uh...

↓

I suppose...

suppose

↓

You know what? We're treading on some dangerous territory here.

dangerous territory treading

↓

"Nigger"?

nigger

↓

Oh! Whoa!

whoa

↓

- What? - You can't use that word.

word

↓

I'm trying to guess the word that he was saying

word

↓

- that he thought Frank would say. - You don't say that ever.

frank

↓

- I was not using the word. - Don't ever...

using word

↓

You can't use that word.

word

↓

Yet, we've just been casually throwing the F-word around willy-nilly

casually nilly throwing willy willy-nilly word

↓

for the past few days, and that isn't a problem?

days past problem

↓

Well, yeah, Mac, because there's a very dark history

dark history

↓

- associated with the N-word. - Yeah.

associated word

↓

Did you know that a faggot is a burning bundle of sticks

burning faggot sticks

↓

on top of which they used to burn homosexuals?

burn used

↓

So, basically, when you call someone a "faggot,"

faggot

↓

you're saying they should be burned at the stake.

burned stake

↓

Is that right?

↓

- That's, uh... Yes. - That's pretty dark.

dark

↓

- That's pretty dark. - Yeah.

dark

↓

Maybe we shouldn't be throwing around some words.

throwing words

↓

- Yeah. - Yeah.

↓

- What about "cunt"? - We can't lose that!

cunt lose

↓

- It's a good word. - What?

word

↓

- And it's just not offensive. - We keep cunt.

cunt offensive

↓

It's so funny, especially directed towards a woman when you're trying to insult her.

directed especially funny insult woman

↓

When you're trying to make a woman feel small.

woman

↓

That's extremely offensive!

extremely offensive

↓

You could yell "penis" at me, and I'd be fine with it.

penis yell

↓

Fine, we'll take away your favorite word.

favorite word

↓

- Yeah. - Yeah.

↓

What, "cocksucker"? What's wrong with that?

↓

You can't say "cocksucker" if we can't say "cunt."

cunt

↓

I find it offensive that the idea of sucking cocks is offensive.

cocks idea offensive sucking

↓

Exactly. There's nothing offensive about sucking cock.

cock offensive sucking

↓

Half the population loves to suck cock.

cock half loves population suck

↓

The other half loves getting their cock sucked.

cock half loves sucked

↓

It's kind of a win-win.

↓

We're getting off the point.

point

↓

In terms of the ticket, I'm calling bullshit on Frank,

bullshit calling frank terms ticket

↓

because, for some reason, he thinks that I'm gay.

reason thinks

↓

That's why he called me the F-word, which makes him a bigot.

bigot called makes word

↓

Oh, wait. Uh, catch me up here.

catch

↓

Now, you're not gay?

↓

Obviously not.

obviously

↓

Okay. Interesting.

interesting

↓

So, Mr. Reynolds, um, simply, was just trying to disrespect you.

disrespect reynolds simply

↓

He wasn't trying to make a comment about your sexual orientation?

comment orientation sexual

↓

No, here's where things get just a little bit tricky,

tricky

↓

because Frank thinks Mac is gay, because...

frank thinks

↓

- Mac is gay. - Yeah.

↓

What? What are you talking about? Enough with this.

↓

- This is boring. - He's into the closet,

boring closet

↓

he's out of the closet. We don't like you either way.

closet

↓

Look, now, I care about my body.

body care

↓

So, they become obsessed with me being gay.

become obsessed

↓

Obsessed? We're the ones who don't care.

care obsessed ones

↓

Hold on, Dee. Let me just put this to bed. Mac, we're in support of it.

support

↓

Just come on out of the closet,

closet

↓

- and be done with it. - You'll feel better.

↓

- You'll feel better. - Come on out.

↓

I honestly have no idea what you're talking about.

idea

↓

Mac, Mac...

↓

We found the bike.

bike found

↓

Yeah, so?

↓

The bike in the basement?

basement bike

↓

What about it?

↓

Oh, Mac.

↓

Mac, don't make me go get the bike.

bike

↓

I've got nothing to hide. Just go get the bike.

bike hide

↓

I'ma go get the bike.

bike

↓

I would like to present into evidence...

evidence present

↓

Mac's bike.

bike macs

↓

What? It's an awesome workout bike. What's the big deal?

awesome bike deal workout

↓

Okay.

↓

Mac, why don't you go ahead and operate the bike.

ahead bike go-ahead operate

↓

Yeah. Sure.

↓

No problem. Just like any other workout bike.

bike problem workout

↓

Well, you pedal...

pedal

↓

There you go.

↓

- It's outrageous. - There it is.

outrageous

↓

I mean, it's just the craziest...

craziest

↓

All right, all right. Okay, I...

↓

I know what you're thinking, okay? But it's not what it looks like.

thinking

↓

What it looks like is that you're fucking yourself with a dildo bike.

bike dildo fucking

↓

You got the bike shorts with the slits in them in the...

bike shorts

↓

Oh, the ones in the back? That's for air flow.

flow ones

↓

- This is grotesque. - No, you're not understanding.

grotesque understanding

↓

I modded out a regular workout bike to create the optimal workout.

bike create regular workout

↓

- And added a penis. - Yeah.

added penis

↓

Oh... I see.

↓

I see where you guys are getting off the rails.

rails

↓

- That's not a penis. - Oh.

penis

↓

It's a fist.

fist

↓

I call it the Ass Pounder 4000.

pounder

↓

- And it works like this. - Uh, no...

works

↓

Imagine you're riding up a steep hill,

hill imagine riding steep

↓

and you've already been working super hard,

hard super working

↓

and you're sweating and you're tired.

sweating tired

↓

What do you do when you're tired? You want to rest.

rest tired

↓

You go to sit down,

↓

it pushes you right back up in your workout.

pushes workout

↓

The Ass Pounder 4000 will never let you rest.

pounder rest

↓

- See? - We got it.

↓

That's the way it works.

works

↓

Now, I even have an amazing tagline.

amazing tagline

↓

"The Ass Pounder, never stop pumping."

pounder pumping

↓

Well, um... Think we've seen enough.

seen

↓

I've certainly learned something.

certainly learned

↓

This has nothing to do with being gay.

↓

This is just the work of a man who's an extreme sexual deviant.

extreme sexual

↓

Gay or not.

↓

Can I have one of those?

↓

- Yeah, whatever, dude. - Oh, whatever.

↓

You guys are jealous, because I've got a million-dollar idea and the ticket.

dollar idea jealous million million-dollar ticket

↓

You don't have the ticket yet, bitch!

bitch ticket

↓

I bought the ticket.

bought ticket

↓

What are you talking about? Are you crazy?

crazy

↓

Quiet! Quiet! Quiet!

quiet

↓

Now, I've heard from everybody involved, and I will make my decision.

decision everybody heard involved

↓

But let me make one thing clear.

clear

↓

In order for this to be entirely just,

entirely order

↓

I will make my decision based on fairness and compromise.

based compromise decision fairness

↓

You understand?

↓

Okay, I think I'm all caught up.

caught

↓

- So, what's the verdict? - What do you got?

verdict

↓

I think it's actually pretty straightforward.

straightforward

↓

Mr. MacDonald is in possession of the ticket, so he has ownership.

macdonald ownership possession ticket

↓

However, he would not be in possession,

possession

↓

if his life were not saved by Mr. Reynolds,

life reynolds saved

↓

who set off the chain of events, saving him.

chain events saving

↓

So, I see it as a 50/50 split.

split

↓

- Are you kidding me? - I'm a hero!

hero kidding

↓

- You bitch! - 50/50 split?

bitch split

↓

Nothing for kicking him out of the way?

kicking

↓

- Nothing for who paid for the ticket? - I bought it!

bought paid ticket

↓

And this bigot here is gonna get a hero's payout?

bigot

↓

He may be a bigot and he did use disgusting speech,

bigot disgusting speech

↓

but it's not technically hate speech

hate speech technically

↓

since Mr. MacDonald does not claim to be gay.

claim macdonald

↓

Oh.

↓

Oh, does that mean if I claim to be gay, I get all of it?

claim

↓

Well, um, yes.

↓

You would be entitled to keep all of it.

entitled

↓

I claim to be gay!

claim

↓

- No, no, no! - No. Now you're gay?

↓

- There's a history behind it. - I've been gay forever.

behind forever history

↓

Everybody knows it. Even the balloon kid.

balloon everybody everybody-knows knows

↓

Soon as he gets that ticket, he'll go back in the closet.

closet ticket

↓

- This isn't fair. - Mark my words.

fair mark words

↓

If he's gonna do it, he's gotta stay out, which he won't, I guarantee you.

guarantee

↓

Fine. Whatever. I'm out! Totally out. I'm gonna...

↓

Excuse me, would you please do the honors on my ticket, please?

excuse honors ticket

↓

- It's probably worthless. - Okay. Sure.

worthless

↓

Let's see what we have here.

↓

Okay.

↓

Wow.

↓

What?

↓

- What is it? - Well, you're a winner.

winner

↓

What? How much?

↓

$10,000.

↓

- No! No! - Oh, my God!

↓

Gay Mac rules!

rules

↓

- Bullshit! - Gay, gay, rich Mac!

bullshit rich

↓

If you will just sign this,

sign

↓

releasing the ticket and agreeing to my ruling.

agreeing releasing ruling ticket

↓

Don't mind if I do.

mind

↓

I wonder what I'm gonna do with all this money.

money wonder

↓

Maybe start an LLC.

start

↓

Ass Pounder 4000.

pounder

↓

It's all going right into the product.

product

↓

Sign the paper, so you can go back in the closet.

closet paper sign

↓

- Yeah. - Go ahead.

ahead go-ahead

↓

- You go back in. - Go ahead.

ahead go-ahead

↓

You signed it, got your money. Go back in the closet. Get it over with.

closet money signed

↓

We know you'll do it, so you might as well just do it.

might

↓

Yeah. Yeah.

↓

I don't know. Maybe I'll stay out.

↓

- Really? - Yeah.

↓

It doesn't matter. You can go back in. You signed the paper.

matter paper signed

↓

You got your money.

money

↓

No, I think I'm out now.

↓

Yeah. I'm... I'm gay.

↓

Actually feels pretty good.

feels

↓

See ya, guys.

↓

- Wow. - Finally.

finally

↓

- Good for him, right? - Yeah.

↓

- Absolutely. - Guess I'm happy for him.

absolutely happy

↓

It's a relief, honestly.

relief

↓

All right, if you'll just take care of this,

care

↓

then we'll be all done.

↓

- What's this? - That would be a bill.

bill

↓

- Ooh. - Oh, money stuff.

money stuff

↓

That goes to Frank.

frank

↓

I know it's steep, but you did go through three arbiters,

steep three

↓

and you've been here 17 hours.

hours

↓

- Seriously? - I'm exhausted.

exhausted

↓

What's it add up to there, Frank?

frank

↓

$9,986.

↓

- Yikes. - Holy cow.

holy yikes

↓

You guys aren't cheap.

cheap

↓

The arbitration was Mac's idea.

arbitration idea macs

↓

- Let's let him pay for it. - Great idea.

idea

↓

- That's fair. - In fairness' sake.

fair fairness sake

↓

- He's got the money for it. - He's got the money now.

money

↓

But maybe let's make him pay it tomorrow.

tomorrow

↓

- Let's let him have this. - Yeah.

↓

Poor guy did just come out over a $14 scratcher.

poor scratcher

↓

- That's all that's left? - Yeah.

left

↓

- Oh, no. - That sucks.

sucks

↓

Oh, no.

↓

You know, I'm happy for him, but I do still hate him.

happy hate

↓

Oh, yeah.

↓

- It's not a gay or straight thing, is it? - No. It's a Mac thing.

straight