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Home » It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia » S12E05 — Making Dennis Reynolds a Murderer

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Season 12, Episode 5 — Making Dennis Reynolds a Murderer

TMDB episode metadata
Show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Episode title: Making Dennis Reynolds a Murderer
Air date: February 01, 2017
Director: Maurice Marable
Top billed cast: Charlie Day, Glenn Howerton, Rob Mac, Kaitlin Olson, Danny DeVito
A cat-woman is killed and Dennis becomes the main suspect.
Source: TMDB
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911, what's your emergency?
emergency
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Oh, God! Oh, God!
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I'm in an alley and there's, um... I'm not really sure.
alley
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Sir. Sir, what's in the alley?
alley
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Dead. Definitely dead.
dead
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I think it's cat or maybe it's not. I'm not sure.
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Sir, if it's a cat, you need to call animal control.
animalanimal-controlcontrol
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No, no, no, it's not a cat, it's not a cat, it's a woman.
woman
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But also a cat. It's a cat-woman.
woman
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Sir, I do not have time for pranks.
pranks
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No, it's not a prank.
prank
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Then is it a cat or a woman, sir?
woman
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Both! It's both. Whatever it is, it's neck is broken.
brokenneck
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It's dead!
dead
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All right. Uh, let's get started.
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What do you guys wanna know?
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The circumstances surrounding the death
circumstancesdeath
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of the woman born Maureen Ponderosa
bornmaureenmaureen-ponderosaponderosawoman
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captivated South Philadelphia.
philadelphiasouthsouth-philadelphia
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She was discovered in an alley with a broken neck.
alleybrokendiscoveredneck
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In 2013, Maureen had begun
begunmaureen
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her transition to a cat.
transition
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And in her cat form, she went by the name Bastet
formname
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to honor the Egyptian god of cats.
catsegyptianhonor
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The story quickly became fodder for local media.
becamelocalmediaquicklystory
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We learned that she was excited about an upcoming surgery,
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a, uh, reverse nipplectomy.
reverse
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That's where they add more nipples.
nipples
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I guess--
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I don't know-- she wanted more nipples.
nippleswanted
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The thought of that just makes me want to blow my lunch.
blowlunchmakes
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Now, apparently, the ex-husband was on the hook
apparentlyhookhusband
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for this surgery due to an alimony arrangement.
alimonyarrangementsurgery
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He wasn't happy about it.
happy
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That's when he became our primary suspect.
becameprimarysuspect
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Was I irritated by this?
irritated
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You know, but I-I remained supportive
remainedsupportive
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and, uh, kept my cool.
cool
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And I never threatened her in any way.
threatened
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No, no, no, no, if you want to get more nipples,
nipples
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please get more nipples.
nipples
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Get 1,000 nipples. The more nipples, the better, Maureen.
maureennipples
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And you know what? While we're at it, I'm gonna turn myself into a dog.
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With 1,000 teeth.
teeth
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Oh, does that make you nervous?
nervous
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I find that offensive, 'cause a dog is who I am now.
offensive
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Now, due to the nature of this call,
nature
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we decided to bring him in for questioning.
bringdecidedquestioning
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And he cooperated.
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Said he wanted to clear his name.
clearnamewanted
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All right, why don't you tell me where you were that night?
night
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Uh, well, it was actually pretty average Friday night for me,
averagefridayfriday-nightnight
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you know, watched a movie with my roommate Mac in our apartment,
apartmentmovieroommatewatched
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and then went over to the bar for a couple of drinks.
coupledrinks
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He answered every question.
answeredquestion
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Even offered DNA samples.
offeredsamples
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Although he did request to draw his own blood,
blooddrawrequest
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which is kind of strange.
strange
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Okay. Thank you, Mr. Reynolds. I'll be right back.
reynolds
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Yeah, sure no problem. Oh, actually, Detective, you know what,
detectiveproblem
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there is one thing that you may find interesting that I just thought of.
interesting
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If you're a coffee guy,
coffee
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there's a great place just opened up on 2nd Street
openedplacestreet
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Makes an amazing pour over brew. You should try it, really.
amazingbrewmakespour
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Mr. Reynolds was forthright.
reynolds
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Charming, quite frankly.
charmingfrankly
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Get me one, too, if you go over there.
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Thanks.
thanks
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It wasn't until I reviewed
reviewed
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the interrogation footage later that I saw it.
footageinterrogation
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Something very unsettling.
unsettling
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24 years on the job,
years
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I'd never seen anything like it.
seen
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Two hours.
hours
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Never moved.
moved
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Never blinked.
blinked
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Gives me goose bumps just thinking about it.
bumpsgivesgoosethinking
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He had all the right answers,
answers
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but my gut told me this guy was guilty.
guilty
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Of something.
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Did I kill Maureen? No.
killmaureen
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Am I glad she's dead? Sure.
deadglad
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Maureen's family was convinced of Dennis's guilt.
convinceddennissfamilyguiltmaureens
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Maureen?
maureen
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You ever seen a grown woman take a dump in a sandbox?
dumpgrownseenwoman
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Despite conjecture, the question still remained:
despitequestionremained
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Was there anything in Dennis Reynolds' past
dennisdennis-reynoldspastreynolds
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that would suggest him capable of murder?
capablemurdersuggest
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Testing. Testing.
testingtesting-testing
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Syphilis. Syphilis.
syphilis
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That's... Well, yeah...
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But that... but that's not
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not normal right, you know?
normal
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I mean, it was just like boys
boys
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being boys. Yeah. That...
boys
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Look, we had a totally normal childhood, and...
childhoodnormal
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Look, Dennis wouldn't hurt a fly. No way.
dennishurt
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Whatever Deandra says is BS.
deandra
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He didn't just snap it.
snap
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He broke the thing's head clean off.
brokecleanhead
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It was gruesome.
gruesome
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I still have nightmares about it.
nightmares
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And I'm old.
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She told you what?
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No, no, no, no. No, no.
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Look... that crow was injured,
crowinjured
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and I was simply putting it out of its misery,
miseryputtingsimply
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while, yes, testing the tensile strength of a crow's neck.
crowsneckstrengthtesting
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Well, yes, there was another crow,
anothercrow
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but that's because I simply couldn't believe
believesimply
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that a crow's neck could be that weak.
crowsneckweak
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Well, yes, there was a third crow,
crowthird
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and a fourth, if you must know, but who likes crows?
crowsfourthlikesmust
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Look, if you can kill a crow, you can kill a cat.
crowkill
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Cat, cat, cat...
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That's why I started recording all our conversations.
conversationsrecordingstarted
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Dennis you're my son. I know you. I know your character.
characterdennis
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I know the type of person you are.
persontype
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That's why I know you definitely didn't do it.
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Be honest with me. Talk to Daddy.
daddyhonest
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What the hell is this, Frank?
frank
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Look I wasn't around much when you were a kid,
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so if you murdered her, it ain't on me.
aintmurdered
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All that being said, did you do it?
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Are you reading something right now?
reading
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Why are you calling me? We don't talk on the phone.
callingphone
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Ah, to see if you wanna confess.
confess
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Confess? Okay, yeah. Yeah, yeah. That's rich coming from you.
comingconfessrich
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Here's a confession. My father, Frank Reynolds,
confessionfatherfrankfrank-reynoldsreynolds
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owned a sweatshop in Vietnam
ownedsweatshopvietnam
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and is responsible for the deaths of thousands of...
deathsresponsiblethousands
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Talk to you later. Bye-bye. Ah, shit!
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I suspected Frank was probably recording all of our conversations,
conversationsfrankrecordingsuspected
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because of course he would.
course
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But let me tell you something, he was no fan of Maureen's, either.
maureens
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He was just trying to deflect attention,
attention
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which is why I started recording all of our conversations as well.
conversationsrecordingstarted
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I could have worn a goddamn IMAX camera around my neck
cameragoddamnneckworn
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and he wouldn't have noticed.
noticed
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The old bitch.
bitch
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And I caught him saying some pretty troubling stuff.
caughtstufftroubling
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What are we watching here?
watching
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Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cats, cats.
cats
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Is that me?
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7d8f002e-3eee-44d3-bee2-b446655db777.gif
Cats. I'll tell you what to do with cats.
cats
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Who shot this thing? Dennis?
dennisshot
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Here's what you do with cats.
cats
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Back in the sweatshop in 'Nam, we found a cat,
foundsweatshop
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we tossed it right in the soup.
souptossed
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Those hungry bastards ate cat soup every day.
bastardshungrysoup
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What's the worst thing that could happen?
happenworst
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Some little kid choke on a hairball and die.
choke
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So then you toss him in the soup.
souptoss
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I was making money hand over foot, literally.
foothandmoney
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Somebody lost a hand or a foot, I'd toss it in the soup.
foothandlostsomebodysouptoss
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Well, that's all a lie.
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Uh, there was no soup.
soup
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Nope.
nope
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There's no sweatshop.
sweatshop
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Excuse me. I got to go to the can.
excuse
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There it is.
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You're caught. You're caught. Keep it cool, Frank.
caughtcoolfrank
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You destroyed all the evidence. Better not risk it.
destroyedevidencerisk
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Hello, cabbie!
↓
dc76ef11-859e-4833-bddc-85f60c28e3ab.gif
- Where you headed? - Patty's pub, please.
headedpattys
↓
b78a4e40-acc9-460f-b9eb-ada14d3da51b.gif
I'm running away from an interview because I just got busted
bustedinterviewrunning
↓
f7192f78-8e5c-46c1-a452-ad1b98cd5e1f.gif
saying a lot of illegal stuff that I definitely did.
illegalstuff
↓
bc00d433-0922-49d1-a35e-439c3d7f1865.gif
Oh, wow! What kind of stuff?
stuff
↓
ff0b45dc-6c8a-4e04-8e57-e8dacb80f3a1.gif
Yeah, it was like, you know, sweatshop stuff in Vietnam,
stuffsweatshopvietnam
↓
0f7943d7-a7e2-49cf-bafa-4b15b7f19db1.gif
like feeding people to people, shit like that.
feeding
↓
549b2fd0-f6fb-41e9-ad79-6b9ecd00e65d.gif
Oh, you're good then. Statute of limitations.
limitationsstatute
↓
161c2f7b-f026-4575-831a-3bfcceed8c1f.gif
Wait, wait, wait. What do you mean... Are you serious?
serious
↓
a6dfaad4-4693-4d1a-9f85-3d94b432eed5.gif
- Definitely. - Okay, cool.
cool
↓
6b21d417-4711-4500-a089-80e13ac61e04.gif
Flip this back around.
flip
↓
09839212-decb-49b4-bb87-644edeccfba9.gif
Thanks for the nice ride, but I wanna take advantage.
advantageridethanks
↓
869689a5-2af1-4901-8f9b-a4a3a91088ab.gif
Ah, ooh! Whoa! Look at he dump around you!
dumpwhoa
↓
e74d3994-371c-4591-8c45-a5e829193344.gif
Fuck off, creep.
creepfuck
↓
1256ba42-df9b-4d73-a13d-099d816e1af5.gif
Investigators wanted to verify the timeline
investigatorstimelineverifywanted
↓
da02341e-5375-40e6-8fd2-c81c1cdc8869.gif
Mac and I were watching a movie back at the apartment,
apartmentmoviewatching
↓
7bfbfc77-b9e2-449e-8205-9e87476543d2.gif
and then I went to the bar.
↓
f140aad2-118e-4404-a2ce-318c88635aa5.gif
That's true. We were watching Operation Dumbo Drop.
dropoperationwatching
↓
e719f370-e968-4888-bc8f-cadb3ccb7f86.gif
We were doing this amazing thing that I came up with,
amazing
↓
354c1476-e777-4feb-bf05-519f7b177e82.gif
where we watch an old movie,
moviewatch
↓
a77452cb-d620-4862-9d33-a5ef1d13b0b8.gif
and then I turn the volume down really low
volume
↓
e8e45bf4-612b-4dbb-88bb-2133f6428e2e.gif
and we make wiseacre remarks the entire time.
entireremarks
↓
56f736ab-c6d7-4cb6-aaa0-02bc332f3dab.gif
Yeah, he didn't come up with it.
↓
494b588e-8268-478c-a661-ab6d39767415.gif
It's just Mystery Science Theater 3000.
mysterysciencetheater
↓
7358fbbc-cc5c-46ef-beac-3ffa30f7e6cb.gif
It's a spin on that. It's exactly that.
spin
↓
8bda7959-0d13-47ee-9158-9d87a1fd6060.gif
Well, there's no robots. So it's worse.
robotsworse
↓
48213279-af98-4574-9bdd-6fbe1b9a03f4.gif
Oh, come on, Dennis. It's funny.
dennisfunny
↓
88201e64-1821-4cc0-b0ac-27b79b39ef09.gif
It-It's not funny. It's not funny at all,
funny
↓
86bc68b4-9872-45bd-a715-979b878aa0f8.gif
because you can never think of jokes on the fly.
jokes
↓
6be0da6a-6dfb-4944-9f31-cbc0b74c940d.gif
H-He, like, pauses the movie
moviepauses
↓
bcc78869-4893-47f7-8c35-40c4d3634d66.gif
to try and think of something funny to say,
funny
↓
a0bad376-2911-4fd8-b605-3917fe92ec55.gif
and then he never can think of anything funny,
funny
↓
ac62cab0-da6f-4bfb-b07f-3c6ffcf58ad0.gif
so he ends up just saying a line from Borat or Austin Powers.
endslinepowers
↓
7f06cf1b-e222-4209-a8d6-590625dd941e.gif
It's super annoying and played-out, and it's not funny.
annoyingfunnyplayedsuper
↓
d2294c0d-6256-487b-ac6c-5c0120285bdf.gif
Well, uh, like this. "Get in my belly."
belly
↓
8ab21b6b-1128-4e3a-9a4b-a037200a8694.gif
But you're never referring to anything when you say it.
referring
↓
c87d99df-87d3-491d-bf86-44239ce7ef81.gif
"Yeah, baby. Get in my belly."
babybelly
↓
be35a644-03ca-4a29-a915-1398de5664d2.gif
Well, that's two different characters.
characters
↓
924dfe34-f28f-4656-b9f4-8b6e2d95f6a8.gif
That's Mike Myers. It's not Mike Myers.
mikemyers
↓
fc3510c5-fe0f-4a09-8f1f-e8e304fec2d4.gif
It's... it's multiple characters
charactersmultiple
↓
45ac6779-84a5-43bd-9123-94d696301320.gif
that Mike Myers plays in-in the same movie.
mikemoviemyersplays
↓
2c6e7a36-d095-4287-a0b1-cf862cd34695.gif
Multiple characters in the same movie?
charactersmoviemultiple
↓
48241152-5131-4943-ac64-614dc78c451a.gif
What is he, a wizard?
wizard
↓
6e58a41d-fcdf-4a27-9b8a-0298001fb852.gif
Look, it's funny, Dennis.
dennisfunny
↓
da199dbb-3667-4fee-bd19-df656a178e7a.gif
It's not funny.
funny
↓
94d85877-6ad2-4004-86ae-34178d306153.gif
Are we done with this? Can we be done?
↓
9a7d9001-bd6e-4d56-ba47-9e5616b06a82.gif
I'm tired of saying the same things over and over again.
tired
↓
3f2bb37f-38f4-43f2-bc40-c76d4f677cf0.gif
Well, wait. Wh-- hold-- Dennis, d-don't leave without me.
dennis
↓
4a8f6180-8a9d-48be-8497-58a4e7e37374.gif
I mean, dude, look, are you mad at me?
↓
aba93878-0507-46a3-a073-cd743c945ff2.gif
Investigators could find no discrepancies
investigators
↓
5046d6a2-ee80-477f-9e14-8000f9e9e24c.gif
in the timeline.
timeline
↓
aa97014b-d790-400c-bc84-f576014b5f6b.gif
But then...
↓
22f61a24-f98c-438b-9f98-f3f0ef9a0ebd.gif
a twist.
twist
↓
0325914e-9c95-4325-8429-14c7aaf7581f.gif
He totally could have done it.
↓
b3799196-df75-4fd0-b028-630236dbfa34.gif
Now, supposedly, Dennis didn't see Maureen that night,
dennismaureennightsupposedly
↓
76e0d211-4d4b-442f-a096-cd8ca72a6ed2.gif
but remember that Maureen was once Dennis's...
dennissmaureenremember
↓
9cbb94b3-ed52-40f1-9caf-1ebd1d0179ca.gif
"Wife. Very nice."
wife
↓
fd08efc8-c7ef-4f7f-94d2-ad53e4832c50.gif
That was Borat.
↓
68ce69c9-d241-4702-94e6-0f7a1c4d3ea2.gif
Why hasn't he spoken up?
spoken
↓
b1cc7cdb-3df9-4952-94b7-82cd22f8f21b.gif
Probably because Dennis...
dennis
↓
0e6ccd29-4dd7-4c3a-8b9a-87b84ec26517.gif
intimidated him.
intimidated
↓
a16ef582-fb2f-417d-8f0a-43b49078c27b.gif
Oh, I just thought it'd be more dramatic if I...
dramatic
↓
7163a58c-abee-4cc7-9f59-3812a592581b.gif
Oh, come on, come on. I didn't lie.
↓
d509ddd4-bc22-4fa5-8a2c-fe073dfeb4f2.gif
I just left out some facts that are insignificant.
factsinsignificantleft
↓
6f9475cf-3766-49dd-9103-dccdc067b1b7.gif
And-and intimidate Charlie? Please. What am I gonna do?
charlieintimidate
↓
0c15a190-627d-4038-8689-50fefeff1b1e.gif
Call him on the phone and threaten him?
phonethreaten
↓
271cfba2-406e-4c82-8294-5e2ccaa24fca.gif
No, I know. But, I mean, if Mac's gonna do it,
macs
↓
7829f2f0-2c46-49d3-bf42-6611b887de6b.gif
then, you know, I'm gonna do it.
↓
7832914f-96df-46bc-8327-2b62c5132d4c.gif
- Charlie. - Yeah?
charlie
↓
d8741ecc-46ca-447e-9f9b-c0c024017883.gif
- Yeah. - Yeah.
↓
3def1ae1-d99e-44d2-9a90-b5b3645b0fcf.gif
Yeah. What are you doing? Why you keep saying yeah?
↓
e0d22681-4d95-4d2e-9b13-a161e0025114.gif
I don't know. 'Cause I'm stupid?
stupid
↓
372561d7-3216-4827-bdc2-4a7388f82fd7.gif
- Are you watching wrestling? - No.
watchingwrestling
↓
83c077ca-5432-41d0-bc38-2ab35ed92c4e.gif
Okay. I feel like you're not listening to me.
listening
↓
1eaf1ddf-1894-480a-aad1-b1be0ce36c07.gif
- Yeah. - So you are watching it?
watching
↓
246d9edd-572c-4789-a24d-c46ef63105fe.gif
- Yeah. - Would you turn it off? Stop!
↓
88e76897-b9d4-4098-8454-a7a2c8294e38.gif
Stop, stop. Turn it off, okay, goddamn it, I need you to listen to me.
goddamngoddamn-it
↓
84dd3fba-531e-4f94-abb8-c3100fc979ff.gif
Okay, the police are gonna call you and ask you
police
↓
200abe28-29c2-4e0d-bc0d-2e7be63bc67f.gif
and I need you to tell them that I was with you at the bar the whole night,
nightwholewhole-night
↓
c3b48af0-899d-4b96-a587-7fb5d0abc318.gif
Even after Maureen left. Right? You are my alibi, dude.
alibileftmaureen
↓
42b86362-f9c0-474e-856c-81dad3c4b2b1.gif
Yeah, you are my alibi, dude.
alibi
↓
b73d05b4-14d5-42cb-ace0-9c1c4473afdf.gif
What does that mean, man? What does that mean?
↓
79506197-2ce2-4bb3-b6be-984a82700f3b.gif
I can't be your alibi, because you're not a suspect.
alibisuspect
↓
522f890c-bc40-4fe3-ab68-4088f6a2a84f.gif
Okay, did you just mute the TV? Are you still watching wrestling?
mutewatchingwrestling
↓
69890b02-8831-4559-a8b7-c0ed5b5a993c.gif
Yeah. Damn it.
↓
8e6f8551-490f-4f62-95c3-e1ac02ee2f1c.gif
Turn it off and get your shit together.
↓
ced16d79-767e-40ce-88a4-01168e620370.gif
Look, I was with you all night. I never left.
leftnight
↓
40f16858-fc63-4722-9c80-4088342e04e3.gif
And for the love of God,
love
↓
2313057f-e2c2-49e4-8c6d-2b25ba69c182.gif
do not mention anything about what's in my safe.
mentionsafe
↓
7a752b19-515a-4972-a098-d44bc52dda0b.gif
- Yeah. - Yeah.
↓
7586e63d-6e98-4d85-b361-a0dc3eef433d.gif
- Yeah. - I'm hanging up.
hanging
↓
42450990-eb12-4fe2-a7d9-8024fcd1fee7.gif
Charlies, I'm not gonna let Dennis hurt you.
charliesdennishurt
↓
8f80663d-5028-4aa3-81c8-92b6f6132ccd.gif
But you'll have to tell me the truth about everything.
truth
↓
cdc0e341-1cd7-4d0b-8c6c-5f6bf41cdd90.gif
Yeah.
↓
16a35b39-078a-4bf7-bcbb-6bc843bb498d.gif
Now, he uh... He hurt Maureen right?
hurtmaureen
↓
1c0b62cc-23f7-47af-9e3b-4b66d32495bc.gif
- Yeah. - Hmm-mmm.
↓
0f5d0246-f5b5-43bb-bbcc-131c8b6b51ef.gif
And how do you know he hurt Maureen?
hurtmaureen
↓
2cc4d90e-7722-4b33-8909-3a7692647dee.gif
I guessed it.
guessed
↓
85e71568-51e3-47a7-90af-8bd16d2950db.gif
Guessed it?
guessed
↓
91976048-17db-4299-8d1c-58436522ae09.gif
Okay.
↓
962e42a4-8a2a-4064-95de-9fa0f1e78c8f.gif
Did Dennis break her neck?
breakdennisneck
↓
98debecc-1743-4157-aa78-2c1f08002286.gif
- I don't know, you tell me. - No, no.
↓
e8ffe980-8e40-4d38-9baf-cf7f532bce56.gif
Listen, Charlie. That's not how it works.
charlieworks
↓
33bfcba0-c1c6-4efa-b7aa-8f5681636720.gif
You have to tell me.
↓
a4b1a3ae-b13a-4224-9d97-e96acdf84115.gif
How did he kill her?
kill
↓
a8e34246-dc16-4dc0-b275-6526bb781a2a.gif
Gave her a piledriver.
↓
8e166c7c-77cf-47b9-b4aa-32904e80d2d4.gif
- He gave her a piledriver? - Then I come from behind
behind
↓
ebc45279-8403-43f8-ba42-7401f25f81d3.gif
and I did a choke hold.
choke
↓
44453f36-aa5a-41b7-9dfe-faed05649d61.gif
What are you... What?
↓
bd87105e-cf0e-4c20-8ead-748ca393ca50.gif
You were involved?
involved
↓
878b89b2-db6f-43c4-92b1-a131a78a32a0.gif
Yeah, I broke her neck two times.
brokenecktimes
↓
18ce3331-4918-460b-ab75-9f70147cdb98.gif
Wait a minute, I don't get it.
minute
↓
1529009b-f42c-4f80-ae6d-9751b4eb0259.gif
- You killed people? - I do choke slams
chokekilledslams
↓
df09d40f-a089-4a21-a62c-20d191d205d9.gif
and back-breakers, sharp-shooters, cripple-creek ferries.
creekcripplesharp
↓
ec97becd-e516-464c-bb61-c1b32e2e0ca8.gif
At this point in the interrogation,
interrogationpoint
↓
d2468124-a180-4ad7-a0c9-5914b6a92251.gif
Christ, I was at a loss.
christloss
↓
a6b4d63b-b9e7-4079-8119-bc4c58ac3d9e.gif
Can I go watch wrestling now?
watchwrestling
↓
f283eb21-c9d8-46f8-8173-dcab888b24b8.gif
Charlie, for Christ sakes,
charliechristchrist-sakessakes
↓
e77c1fd4-5437-4451-8490-d0bd89b38215.gif
you've gotta give me something to work with here.
↓
fb65dc19-157c-47f9-b269-5786b6f5b9d4.gif
I'm not supposed to tell you what's in his safe.
safesupposed
↓
659d2050-21b2-4639-9d7f-194ad62b2c93.gif
Ah, okay. Tell me what's in his safe, Charlie.
charliesafe
↓
b85a806a-e5bf-48c6-bcdb-c5d1790cfd77.gif
Cat tranquilizers.
↓
01d157ca-1d47-4812-9c3e-0cf5664b2bc2.gif
Are you on these tranquilizers right now, Charlie?
charlie
↓
f30e1883-cba5-48ae-b8a0-4d1200197e69.gif
Yeah.
↓
cc3893f1-2562-463e-bba2-07722e1dad7f.gif
Jesus Christ!
christjesusjesus-christ
↓
2e30b854-d686-4e25-8275-3a139dc692ce.gif
Further inspection of Dennis Reynolds' safe
dennisdennis-reynoldsfurtherinspectionreynoldssafe
↓
dd00bf8c-1f6f-4c7f-9a69-9e75ce21ce7e.gif
revealed a cache of suspicious items.
itemsrevealedsuspicious
↓
20462c99-9668-4fe4-bba1-b6898394620a.gif
Awesome. Charlie told you about the tranquilizers.
awesomecharlie
↓
a9b3584e-d328-4201-a748-18e4d963c9a5.gif
The laser pointer, the catnip, yarn.
laserpointeryarn
↓
b192ffef-17a3-4d7e-a3f8-12a65255b5cf.gif
Yeah, peculiar how these things wind up in your place.
peculiarplacewind
↓
9cbd336a-a562-4332-ba1b-6d1f2dea287f.gif
No, not really.
↓
c77bb66a-d716-42bb-b1ac-d37bc1d6daef.gif
You see the Ponderosa household was a toxic environment,
environmenthouseholdponderosatoxic
↓
1b481c86-1fb9-40d1-8816-862222b5c23b.gif
they didn't exactly accept Maureen's transition.
acceptmaureenstransition
↓
d74c105a-67c2-4ced-ace9-70a51fb06ba1.gif
So, she and I made an arrangement,
arrangement
↓
451e5bed-f8b4-4c93-9a8e-30bb3bfd9894.gif
she would keep some of her things at my apartment,
apartment
↓
e15b1370-cd5c-4843-8126-264e6d8b7dba.gif
in exchange for a reduction in my alimony.
alimonyexchangereduction
↓
7b83a0c2-2007-4878-af64-344447478cd5.gif
And the ketamine?
ketamine
↓
fd779bff-63fa-4e25-b487-0b6ffb5f1b65.gif
She kept some of that at my apartment as well.
apartment
↓
b78bbf19-ac47-4477-883c-1c09e657779a.gif
And, you know, if there's gonna be some special K lying around,
lyingspecial
↓
bf17ac67-6111-4d3d-a708-42a0dd29eeee.gif
Charlie's gonna do it.
charlies
↓
13baee01-c23c-4a30-a18f-beb9881b495c.gif
That's why he's been giving you all those strange and totally unreliable answers.
answersgivingstrange
↓
2aa45afd-885d-41e6-b71f-3357191ea399.gif
So while Mr. Kelly's statements
statements
↓
57856b39-a603-4f35-bcca-98bdbd768caa.gif
were clearly unreliable and would need to be thrown out,
thrown
↓
f5a066ad-fc7b-4c60-8a81-ed969ce3f5ca.gif
another breakthrough came:
anotherbreakthrough
↓
96bab4fd-4dfa-4354-a612-3b094a6a5a3b.gif
autopsy results came back from the lab.
autopsyresults
↓
02950bff-cfe3-47b3-9b1c-6f32b5918ece.gif
Okay, Mr. Reynolds.
reynolds
↓
ed68fcbf-ce5a-4892-bf2f-b1cba4538fdd.gif
Let's say for a moment that I can understand
moment
↓
d1061543-44db-4b41-ae4f-1d1bd6a090aa.gif
this arrangement that you had with your ex,
arrangement
↓
dae7d6dc-feed-4557-b17c-02cf5a08ecc9.gif
that doesn't explain this autopsy report.
autopsyexplainreport
↓
07f89dd1-0c62-41a7-a828-3a7e5b0aa315.gif
See there were collections of hair found in the esophagus.
foundhair
↓
abdc1ef7-42a6-4322-93bc-d60d84456049.gif
A hairball.
↓
ae266209-b8be-4db4-b6a3-765a66cb2919.gif
Any guesses to whose it is?
↓
992ca4c3-0efd-4221-b7c5-4350a9de135b.gif
Um...
↓
1fe11f5a-a37d-4495-bd6b-2dd253038381.gif
You think we can turn the cameras off just for a minute?
camerasminute
↓
8bdabb55-47a3-46d8-984a-a01185788077.gif
I can't do that.
↓
3ffdf6a4-312e-45f1-b566-d7bf69e97e3b.gif
All right. I let her lick me.
lick
↓
feb30dd7-e9d2-4c99-997c-64d124adb6ee.gif
Lick you?
lick
↓
2b3c131c-5863-43dd-a83c-b5f90463257f.gif
How?
↓
d8917337-44d5-4d53-a624-5bb99b583ffd.gif
It's a cat grooming thing.
grooming
↓
eaee52eb-f7f6-4f7d-b550-b3fdc1fa9716.gif
Maureen enjoyed the fantasy,
enjoyedfantasymaureen
↓
b9ee3c86-1afd-42a2-8f1a-a6dfe92f90a8.gif
and she would knock an extra 15 bucks off a month,
bucksextraextra-bucksknockmonth
↓
e2a8ef2f-5f83-4765-b366-6bb2f737e6af.gif
so of course, I'm gonna let her do it.
course
↓
0661f557-7ea2-48aa-905f-b5c23056a9f1.gif
Look, is getting groomed like a cat by your ex weird?
weird
↓
427810cc-0ff2-405d-af07-115c22a0ad36.gif
Yep.
↓
3e6b8e38-fe6e-4a59-b541-c7c74817679f.gif
Is it illegal?
illegal
↓
bfa05d5f-9695-4c79-9c13-bbe461a05152.gif
I wish.
wish
↓
5077ff71-cf99-4dd4-b9ac-e7c706e5c7d3.gif
The investigation was at a crossroads.
investigation
↓
23fb86a2-cd4e-4874-b918-68c13a22cbb2.gif
Then another massive break.
anotherbreakmassive
↓
5dc117c5-c79d-40d3-bab7-51f220421a7b.gif
Dennis has an answer for everything.
answerdennis
↓
9d57f205-c09c-4821-8b96-819905bac475.gif
Well, answer me this:
answer
↓
fb46886f-417f-4568-8ea1-476cacb19f30.gif
Where's the collar?
collar
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Cats have collars.
catscollars
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d20af5b4-e3b1-4a9c-b6ea-c97b4a3fe485.gif
Maureen's body
bodymaureens
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didn't have a collar on it.
collar
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Killers keep trophies.
killerstrophies
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Alls I'm saying,
alls
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find the collar, find the killer.
collarkiller
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This is not the first time the collar came up.
collar
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Dee Reynolds had, oddly,
oddlyreynolds
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made the collar an issue during filming.
collarfilmingissue
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Hey. Stop!
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8ae7b551-1ac5-4207-887a-da73a62908ab.gif
Stop! Stop with the squirting! Stop! Cool it!
cool
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We said one spray and then my line.
linespray
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I... It was in my contract that we talked...
contracttalked
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I put one squirt in there for... on purpose.
purposesquirt
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And this collar! I... Th-There's something wrong
collar
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0672d089-f351-400f-91ee-05d755918a35.gif
with the collar. It's driving me nuts.
collardrivingnuts
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It... is an actual flea collar?
actualcollarflea
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You son of a bitch.
bitch
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I-I really think the water activated
activatedwater
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some kind of, like, chemical agent. My-my neck's burning.
agentburningchemicalnecks
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22c548ea-3a70-49c5-8c30-92639d100f3a.gif
Was the flea collar actually burning her,
burningcollarflea
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as she claimed?
claimed
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Are you serious?
serious
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92393ba9-3f25-4854-a9f9-ea36ca39c03f.gif
Yes, asshole! It was burning my skin!
assholeburningskin
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5a83bbb5-0f31-4f32-a657-f7432df19cf1.gif
You want to zoom in on this?!
zoom
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0606727d-5d44-4c97-9d48-35a87ceb80c0.gif
Hard to say.
hard
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a661d9d1-e7db-41aa-904d-d7c42fb690ca.gif
But maybe there was another reason she removed it.
anotherreasonremoved
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Whatever Deandra says is BS.
deandra
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She's probably just covering for him because she's afraid
afraidcovering
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he's gonna snap her neck like that crow.
crownecksnap
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3c9cf8e8-4e52-441d-b293-47dcf584a404.gif
Maybe Deandra didn't want to wear the collar
collardeandrawear
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02fb1521-fb8f-4097-a8d6-2f2c80dd7e98.gif
in order to cover for her brother
brothercoverorder
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fb4394cd-b6e6-4b2a-929b-a68c2e629df4.gif
and to establish that Maureen never wore a collar at all.
collarestablishmaureenwore
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We then discovered something in this piece of footage
discoveredfootagepiece
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that blew the doors wide open on this case.
blewcasedoorsopenwidewide-open
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Was I a person of interest?
interestperson
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Yeah.
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I am an interesting person.
interestingperson
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But at the end of the day, you know,
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I'm just some guy with a crazy ex-wife
crazywife
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who fell off of a roof pretending to be a cat.
fellpretendingroof
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That's the end of it.
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All my stories checked out.
checkedstories
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ca1ac32f-17e9-4020-9fb3-2ecc37af394b.gif
I was cleared. Case closed.
casecase-closedclearedclosed
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d9c2184f-4224-4095-89eb-842321402c02.gif
Find the collar, find the killer.
collarkiller
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58cb3c1c-d345-49b4-9eaa-ee67cc61bd7f.gif
Find the collar, find the killer.
collarkiller
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3d605a3a-cfbe-4dcc-8899-e74bb20c01ac.gif
...'cause a dog is who I am now!
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...hit the referee!
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"Very nice."
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Find the collar, find the killer.
collarkiller
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819fa6b7-563f-4e99-b533-d790f6a3deec.gif
As of 2017, Dennis Reynolds is still at large,
dennisdennis-reynoldsreynolds
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lurking the streets of Philadelphia.
lurkingphiladelphiastreets
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Guys, this was an open-and-shut case that was shut months ago.
casemonthsopen
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ac9357fb-dfa9-4346-9cb9-45abefe9e7bd.gif
And Maureen never wore a collar. You guys put that there.
collarmaureenwore
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888bd0fb-bfc7-43c0-ade9-8136ee8bf592.gif
Well, yeah, we needed a big twist at the end
neededtwist
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c6e48eed-fee2-4910-9b1c-6308dc02c9e2.gif
to show that you're guilty.
guilty
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But I'm-I'm not guilty.
guilty
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076eacb0-8e2f-4676-a775-6b0bdc7569a8.gif
What about the security footage of Maureen's death?
deathfootagemaureenssecurity
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59b0ae60-1705-4c1a-b82f-76d865d7d7f8.gif
I mean, it shows her prancing around on the roof
roofshows
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like an asshole, and then she just falls off.
assholefalls
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People don't want to see that,
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because it's hard evidence, you know what I mean? Yeah.
evidencehardhard-evidence
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Like, it's better to actually sit on that footage
footage
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f9cc3ca3-71bf-40a9-94a1-2f01b62ecbdc.gif
until, like, maybe episode ten, and then let people
episode
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decide then if you're guilty or not.
decideguilty
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c0192771-8f6b-4dc9-8155-ee81ed1f4cf5.gif
Ten episo... You're gonna do ten episodes of this?
episodes
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Yeah, but then even then we would keep it vague.
vague
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I mean, 'cause that's entertainment, you know?
entertainment
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05291641-25a4-484c-9064-8465f3ce7570.gif
Someone gets murdered, and then you make a show.
murdered
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2b91fdc3-9a38-4f95-8fbb-3cd4180159ec.gif
But you never give any actual answers,
actualanswers
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because that's what people love. No.
love
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You drag it out. You rake it all over the victim's family.
dragfamilyvictims
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It's sort of like eating a bag of chips, you know?
chipseating
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It's never gonna actually make you full,
full
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and at the end you're sick,
sick
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but you want to go back for more.
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You want more chips.
chips
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Murder is chips. Okay,
chipsmurder
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de2b92d9-ab99-4b7a-9481-294dff7bb01b.gif
you know what, I don't know what you guys are talking about,
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0106061e-daff-4068-bc1e-d7a3d0226cfb.gif
but I'm gonna find these tapes, and I'm gonna destroy them.
destroytapes
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98bfa366-2aee-4b67-b14d-067ca8fcfac2.gif
Well, we have backups, so it... Oh, you know what? Yeah.
backups
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a324d398-22c8-43c0-836e-49029f9a8465.gif
That could make a good episode, where he's destroying--
destroyingepisode
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Let's think about that, right? He's destroying the tapes...
destroyingtapes
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You know what,
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6b927b78-dd08-43fe-8a6b-1cd9da04f719.gif
that would be
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e73eb374-58cf-4a24-9376-46371aaf1ecd.gif
"very nice."
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576778cf-40dc-4071-9693-df42498e3fa6.gif
Is that Borat?
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4a38d1b6-4bb0-4ba7-937a-373a89b5f6af.gif
Yes! See?
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a494f83e-67fb-4415-81d0-d7d7944b9eb3.gif
He gets it. He's laughing.
laughing
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3da4b9c8-5716-4118-940c-3f358b8ccc46.gif
Yeah, 'cause I know he was doing an impression. He's laughing.
impressionlaughing
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30c26083-f0d9-4286-87e4-31c811c9a8cd.gif
Okay, wait, uh, let me... let me think of another one.
another
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4e6a4197-6336-42f8-a048-c4066ecc719c.gif
Let me think of another one. "I'll be back."
another
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3505742a-05b7-4e8b-ab46-0dacd5784ed3.gif
Oh... Who is that? Who is that?