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Home » Rick and Morty » S01E02 — Lawnmower Dog

Rick and Morty

Season 1, Episode 2 — Lawnmower Dog

TMDB episode metadata

Show: Rick and Morty

Episode title: Lawnmower Dog

Air date: December 09, 2013

Director: John Rice

Top billed cast: Justin Roiland, Chris Parnell, Spencer Grammer, Sarah Chalke

Rick and Morty try to incept Morty's math teacher into giving Morty an 'A'. Meanwhile, Rick gives Jerry a device to train their dog, Snuffles.

Source: TMDB

↓

HAVE FUN.

fun

↓

COME ON, MORTY.

morty

↓

Morty: THAT WAS FANTASTIC, RICK!

fantastic morty rick

↓

Rick: YEAH, MORTY, IF YOU LIKE THAT, BOY, YOU'RE -- YOU'RE

morty rick

↓

REALLY GOING TO FLIP YOUR LID OVER THIS ONE.

flip

↓

Morty: W-W-W-WHAT IS IT?

morty

↓

Rick: IT'S A DEVICE, MORTY, THAT WHEN YOU PUT IT IN YOUR

device morty rick

↓

EAR, YOU CAN ENTER PEOPLE'S DREAMS, MORTY.

dreams enter morty peoples

↓

IT'S JUST LIKE THAT MOVIE THAT YOU KEEP CROWING ABOUT.

movie

↓

Morty: YOU TALKING ABOUT "INCEPTION"?

morty

↓

Rick: THAT'S RIGHT, MORTY.

morty rick

↓

THIS IS GONNA BE A LOT LIKE THAT, EXCEPT, YOU KNOW, IT'S

except

↓

GONNA [BURPS] MAYBE MAKE SENSE.

burps sense

↓

Morty: "INCEPTION" MADE SENSE.

morty sense

↓

Rick: YOU DON'T HAVE TO TRY TO IMPRESS ME, MORTY.

impress morty rick

↓

LISTEN, TONIGHT WE'RE GONNA GO INTO THE HOME OF YOUR MATH

home math tonight

↓

TEACHER, MR. GOLDENFOLD, AND WE'RE G-- WE'RE GONNA INCEPT THE

teacher

↓

IDEA IN HIS BRAIN TO GIVE YOU A's IN MATH, MORTY.

brain idea math morty

↓

THAT WAY YOU CAN, YOU KNOW -- Y-YOU'RE GONNA HELP ME WITH MY

↓

SCIENCE, MORTY, ALL THE TIME.

morty science

↓

Morty: GEEZ, RICK, IN THE TIME IT TOOK YOU TO MAKE THIS

geez morty rick

↓

THING, COULDN'T YOU HAVE JUST, YOU KNOW, HELPED ME WITH MY

helped

↓

HOMEWORK?

homework

↓

Rick: ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME, MORTY?

listening morty rick

↓

HOMEWORK IS STUPID.

homework stupid

↓

THE WHOLE POINT IS TO GET LESS OF IT.

less point whole whole-point

↓

J-J -- COME ON, LET -- J-- LET'S JUST GET OVER THERE AND DEAL

deal

↓

WITH THIS THING.

↓

W-WE'RE GONNA INCEPT YOUR TEACHER.

teacher

↓

Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-YOU'RE FRUSTRATING ME.

frustrating

↓

[ ENGINE TURNS OVER ] YOU DON'T KNOW ME!

engine turns

↓

NICE, MRS. PANCAKES -- REAL NICE.

pancakes real

↓

NEXT WEEK ON "THE DAYS AND NIGHTS OF MRS. PANCAKES"...

days nights pancakes week

↓

[ SNORING ] YOU DON'T KNOW ME!

snoring

↓

THEN LET ME GET TO KNOW YOU, DAMN IT!

↓

Rick: UH-OH! SPOILERS!

rick

↓

I'M A FULL SEASON BEHIND.

behind full season

↓

Morty: WOW, RICK, I CAN'T BELIEVE WE'RE SITTING AROUND,

believe morty rick sitting

↓

STANDING AROUND IN MR. GOLDENFOLD'S HOUSE.

house standing

↓

IT'S REALLY WEIRD.

weird

↓

[ DEVICE WHIRS ] Rick: IT'S ABOUT TO GET A

device rick whirs

↓

WHOLE LOT WEIRDER, MORTY.

morty weirder whole

↓

[ DEVICE WHIRS ] [ DEVICE WHIRS ]

device whirs

↓

[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ] WHEAT THINS. WHEAT THINS.

conversations indistinct wheat

↓

I'LL TAKE TWO.

↓

OH, I THINK YOU'VE HAD ENOUGH, SIR.

↓

YOU DON'T KNOW ME.

↓

[ BOTH LAUGH ] Rick: ALL RIGHT, MORTY,

laugh morty rick

↓

TIME TO MAKE OUR MOVE.

↓

MAKE IT BOUNCE.

bounce

↓

NO, YOU DIDN'T.

↓

OH, JIGGLE IT NOW.

jiggle

↓

YOU BETTER STOP WITH THAT.

↓

Rick: ALLAHU [BURPS] AKBAR!

burps rick

↓

WE'RE GONNA TAKE CONTROL OF THIS PLANE!

control plane

↓

WE'RE GONNA 9/11 IT UNLESS MORTY SMITH GETS BETTER GRADES

grades morty smith

↓

IN MATH!

math

↓

HEY! I SAID NOBODY MOVE, BUDDY!

buddy nobody

↓

THE NAME'S NOT BUDDY.

buddy names

↓

IT'S GOLDENFOLD.

↓

NICE TO WHEAT YOU!

wheat

↓

[ GRUNTS ] Rick: TAKE COVER, MORTY!

cover grunts morty rick

↓

[ PASSENGERS SCREAMING ] [ SCREAMS ]

passengers screaming screams

↓

Morty: OOH!

morty

↓

Rick: GOLDENFOLD'S GOT MORE CONTROL HERE THAN I ANTICIPATED.

anticipated control rick

↓

I MEAN, THE GUY TEACHES HIGH-SCHOOL MATH.

math school

↓

[ BURPS ] I-I-I-I DIDN'T TAKE HIM FOR AN

burps

↓

ACTIVE DREAMER.

active

↓

WE GOT TO TAKE HIM OUT SO HE WAKES UP, MORTY.

morty wakes

↓

BUT WE CAN'T GET KILLED.

killed

↓

IF YOU GET KILLED IN SOMEONE ELSE'S DREAM, YOU DIE FOR REAL,

dream elses killed real

↓

MORTY.

morty

↓

Morty: WHAT?!

morty

↓

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

kidding

↓

OHHHHHH!

↓

Rick: DON'T BE A BABY!

baby rick

↓

YOU AVOID GETTING SHOT IN REAL LIFE ALL THE TIME, MORTY.

avoid life morty real real-life shot

↓

JUST DO THE SAME THING HERE, AND WE'LL BE FINE!

↓

Jerry: NOW BRING ME MY SLIPPERS.

bring jerry slippers

↓

Summer: NOW, BE MY FOOTSTOOL, SNUFFLES.

summer

↓

Jerry: THIS IS WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.

jerry

↓

THIS IS A DOG.

↓

Beth: [ Sarcastically ] OH, YEAH.

beth

↓

THIS SHOULD PLAY OUT JUST FINE.

↓

Jerry: YOU SAID THE SAME THING, EQUALLY SARCASTICALLY, AT

equally jerry

↓

OUR WEDDING AND GUESS WHAT.

wedding

↓

[ HOWLING ] Summer: OH, MY GOD.

howling summer

↓

HE'S TRYING TO TELL US SOMETHING.

↓

THAT IS SO AWESOME.

awesome

↓

[ HOWLING ] Jerry: AW, HE'S SAYING "I

howling jerry

↓

LOVE LASAGNA."

lasagna love

↓

[ GROANS ] [ HOWLING ]

groans howling

↓

Summer: HE'S SAYING "I LOVE OBAMA."

love obama summer

↓

[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ] SO CUTE!

camera camera-shutter camera-shutter-clicks clicks cute shutter shutter-clicks

↓

I'M POSTING THIS ONLINE, LIKE, RIGHT NOW.

online posting

↓

Jerry: I SHOULD CALL BOB SAGET.

jerry

↓

IS THAT STILL A THING?

↓

[ SIGHS ] HMM?

sighs

↓

[ PASSENGERS SCREAMING ] Rick: GOLDENFOLD, WE'RE

passengers rick screaming

↓

COMING OUT!

coming

↓

WE JUST WANT TO TALK!

↓

WHY WOULD I NEGOTIATE WITH YOU?

↓

Rick: BECAUSE WE'RE BOTH RATIONAL ADULTS THAT DON'T WANT

adults rational rick

↓

ANYTHING BAD TO HAPPEN.

happen

↓

AND BECAUSE I HAVE A HUMAN SHIELD.

human shield

↓

MRS. PANCAKES!

pancakes

↓

[ SCREAMS ] [ PASSENGERS SCREAMING ]

passengers screaming screams

↓

Rick: OH, NO, MORTY.

morty rick

↓

HIS SUBCONSCIOUS IS PANICKING.

panicking subconscious

↓

RUN!

↓

[ ALL SCREAMING ] [ SLAP! ]

screaming slap

↓

Rick: RELAX, MORTY.

morty relax rick

↓

LOOK!

↓

MRS. PANCAKES HAS A PARACHUTE.

pancakes parachute

↓

COME ON!

↓

HEY, YOU DON'T KNOW ME!

↓

Morty: OH, NO, RICK, LOOK!

morty rick

↓

GOLDENFOLD LANDED THE PLANE, AND HE'S CREATED A MECHANICAL

created landed plane

↓

ARM TO PLUCK MRS. PANCAKES OUT OF THE AIR WHILE HE LETS US FALL

fall pancakes pluck

↓

INTO A GIANT VAT OF LAVA!

giant lava

↓

Rick: PRETTY CONCISE, MORTY.

morty rick

↓

LOOKS LIKE WE'VE MERELY PROLONGED THE INEVITABLE.

inevitable merely

↓

THAT'S IT, MORTY!

morty

↓

PROLONGING THE INEVITABLE!

inevitable

↓

LISTEN, IF WE GO INTO MRS. PANCAKES' DREAM, EVERYTHING

dream pancakes

↓

WILL GO 100 TIMES SLOWER, MORTY.

morty slower times

↓

THAT'LL BUY US SOME TIME TO FIGURE THIS OUT!

figure thatll

↓

YOU DON'T KNOW M-- Rick: ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO.

rick

↓

[ DEVICE WHIRS ] [ UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS ]

device music music-plays plays upbeat upbeat-music whirs

↓

[ GNOMES GIGGLING ] Morty: OH, MAN, RICK, THIS IS

giggling gnomes morty rick

↓

PRETTY WEIRD.

weird

↓

Rick: DON'T JUDGE, MORTY.

judge morty rick

↓

Morty: OKAY.

morty

↓

ALL RIGHT, WELL...

↓

[ GRUNTING ] Morty: LOOK, MRS. PANCAKES IS

grunting morty pancakes

↓

RIGHT OVER THERE.

↓

I'LL JUST GO ASK HER TO TELL GOLDENFOLD NOT TO KILL US WHEN

kill

↓

SHE WAKES UP.

wakes

↓

Rick: WHOA, WHOA, MORTY, THE TRICK TO INCEPTING IS MAKING

morty rick trick whoa whoa-whoa

↓

PEOPLE THINK THEY CAME UP WITH THE IDEA.

idea

↓

LISTEN TO ME.

↓

IF WE'RE GONNA INCEPT MRS. PANCAKES, WE HAVE TO BLEND.

blend pancakes

↓

I'LL TALK TO YOU AFTER LUNCH.

lunch

↓

[ GNOMES GIGGLING ] OOH, HEY!

giggling gnomes

↓

Morty: [ WHIMPERS ] OOH, OH!

morty whimpers

↓

Morty: OH, MAN.

morty

↓

COME AND JOIN US.

join

↓

Morty: I'M SORRY. NO, NO.

morty

↓

OOH, COME HERE!

↓

Morty: NO, THANKS!

morty thanks

↓

OOH, WOW!

↓

COME OVER HERE, BABY!

baby

↓

Morty: NO, I'M OKAY.

morty

↓

WHOA!

whoa

↓

SUMMER?!

summer

↓

HEY, THERE, STRANGER.

stranger

↓

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THESE THINGS?

↓

Morty: OHH! OH! GROSS!

gross morty

↓

GROSS!

gross

↓

Rick: WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!

rick whoa whoa-whoa whoa-whoa-whoa

↓

WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU, MORTY?

matter morty

↓

CALM DOWN!

calm

↓

YOU'RE KIND OF KILLING THE VIBE IN HERE.

killing vibe

↓

Morty: IT'S S-S-S-SUMMER!

morty summer

↓

Rick: AW, GEEZ.

geez rick

↓

LOOKS LIKE GOLDENFOLD HAS SOME PREDILECTIONS SO SHAMEFUL HE

shameful

↓

BURIES THEM IN THE DREAMS OF THE PEOPLE IN HIS DREAMS, INCLUDING

dreams including

↓

A PERVY ATTRACTION TO YOUR UNDERAGE SISTER.

attraction sister underage

↓

Summer: CAN YOU BLAME HIM?

blame summer

↓

COME ON, OLD MAN, LITTLE BOY.

↓

LET'S MAKE AN INTER-GENERATIONAL SANDWICH.

sandwich

↓

Rick: OH, MY GOD.

rick

↓

Morty: OH, MY GOD!

morty

↓

PUT SOME CLOTHES ON, FOR PETE'S SAKE!

clothes petes petes-sake sake

↓

Rick: THIS IS DISGUSTING!

disgusting rick

↓

I'M GONNA PUKE!

puke

↓

Morty: I CAN'T TAKE IT, RICK!

morty rick

↓

SEXUAL HANG-UPS IN THE PLEASURE CHAMBER ARE PUNISHABLE

chamber hang pleasure sexual

↓

BY DEATH!

death

↓

OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!

heads

↓

Rick: TIME TO GO ANOTHER DREAM DEEP, MORTY!

another deep dream morty rick

↓

[ GRUNTS ] [ EXHALES ]

exhales grunts

↓

[ DEVICE WHIRS ] [ DEVICE WHIRS ]

device whirs

↓

Morty: [ WHIMPERS ] WHAT THE HELL?

morty whimpers

↓

WHY WOULD MR. GOLDENFOLD'S DREAM VERSION OF MRS. PANCAKES' DREAM

dream pancakes version

↓

VERSION OF A CENTAUR BE DREAMING ABOUT A SCARY PLACE LIKE THIS,

dreaming place scary version

↓

RICK?

rick

↓

Rick: GEEZ, I DON'T KNOW, MORTY.

geez morty rick

↓

WHA-WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?

↓

[ METAL SCRAPING ] WELCOME TO YOUR NIGHTMARE,

metal nightmare scraping welcome

↓

BITCH!

bitch

↓

Rick: OH, HERE WE GO!

rick

↓

Morty: HOLY CRAP!

holy morty

↓

Rick: LOOKS LIKE SOME SORT OF LEGALLY SAFE KNOCK-OFF OF AN

knock legally rick safe

↓

'80s HORROR CHARACTER WITH MINIATURE SWORDS FOR FINGERS

character fingers horror miniature swords

↓

INSTEAD OF KNIVES.

knives

↓

I'M SCARY TERRY.

scary terry

↓

YOU CAN RUN, BUT YOU CAN'T HIDE, BITCH!

bitch hide

↓

Jerry: WHOA! HEY, BUDDY.

buddy jerry whoa

↓

WHAT YOU GOT GOING ON THERE?

↓

[ Robotic ] SNUFFLES FIX.

↓

MAKE BETTER.

↓

HUMANS UNDERSTAND SNUFFLES NOW?

humans

↓

Summer: THAT...IS...AWESOME!

awesome summer

↓

SNUFFLES WANT TO BE UNDERSTOOD.

understood

↓

SNUFFLES NEED TO BE UNDERSTOOD.

understood

↓

Jerry: OKAY, YEAH.

jerry

↓

I GET WHAT BETH WAS TALKING ABOUT.

beth

↓

FUN'S OVER.

↓

Summer: WHOA, DAD, YOU CAN'T, LIKE, ENDOW A CREATURE WITH

creature summer whoa

↓

SENTIENCE AND THEN RIP IT AWAY.

↓

Jerry: WHY NOT?

jerry

↓

Summer: I DON'T KNOW.

summer

↓

IT'S INDIAN GIVING.

giving indian

↓

A SOPHISTICATED PREDATOR, NATURE'S PERFECT KILLING

killing natures perfect predator sophisticated

↓

MACHINE, THE VICIOUS WOLF STALKS ITS PREY WITH PURPOSE

machine prey purpose vicious wolf

↓

AND SKILL.

skill

↓

IT WAS ONLY WITH YEARS OF SELECTIVE BREEDING AND GENETIC

genetic years

↓

ALTERING THAT THIS NOBLE BEAST WAS TRANSFORMED INTO MAN'S

altering beast mans noble

↓

SUBSERVIENT LITTLE BUDDY.

buddy

↓

Summer: AW! OH, MY GOD!

summer

↓

HE RECOGNIZES THE OTHER DOGS ON TV.

dogs recognizes

↓

♪ "A," "B" ♪ ♪ HIS NAME IS SCARY TERRY ♪

name scary terry

↓

Morty: [ SCREAMS ] ♪ "C," "D" ♪

morty screams

↓

♪ HE'S VERY SCARY ♪ Morty: HOLY CRAP!

holy morty scary

↓

Rick: WE HAVE TO ESCAPE INTO SOMEONE ELSE'S DREAMS, MORTY!

dreams elses escape morty rick

↓

Morty: OHHHHH!

morty

↓

OH, MAN, OH, MAN, OH, MAN!

↓

♪ "E," "F" ♪ ♪ HE'LL DESIGN YOUR DEATH ♪

death design

↓

Rick: THE LITTLE GIRL!

girl rick

↓

[ DEVICE WHIRS ] [ DEVICE WHIRS ]

device whirs

↓

HUH?

↓

Morty: [ GASPS ] ♪ "J," "K," HE'LL REALLY RUIN

gasps morty ruin

↓

YOUR DAY ♪ Rick: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

kidding rick

↓

THIS AGAIN?

↓

OH, MAN, IT LOOKS LIKE WE'VE HIT DREAM BEDROCK HERE, MORTY.

dream morty

↓

Morty: OH, GEEZ, RICK.

geez morty rick

↓

W-W-WHOA, THIS ISN'T GOOD.

whoa

↓

NOTHING BUT FEAR FROM HERE ON OUT, BITCH!

bitch fear

↓

Morty: OHHHH!

morty ohhhh

↓

Rick: HOLY CRAP, MORTY.

holy morty rick

↓

HE CAN TRAVEL THROUGH DREAMS.

dreams travel

↓

HE CAN TRAVEL THROUGH DREAMS!

dreams travel

↓

WE'RE SO SCREWED!

screwed

↓

[ THUNDER CRASHING ] Summer: [ GASPS ]

crashing gasps summer thunder

↓

WHERE ARE MY TESTICLES, SUMMER?

summer testicles

↓

WHERE ARE MY TESTICLES, SUMMER?

summer testicles

↓

THEY WERE REMOVED.

removed

↓

WHERE HAVE THEY GONE?

gone

↓

Summer: OH, WOW.

summer

↓

THAT'S AN INTENSE LINE OF QUESTIONING, SNUFFLES.

intense line questioning

↓

DO NOT CALL ME THAT!

↓

Summer: [ SCREAMS ] "SNUFFLES" WAS MY SLAVE NAME.

name screams slave summer

↓

YOU SHALL NOW CALL ME SNOWBALL BECAUSE MY FUR IS PRETTY AND

↓

WHITE.

white

↓

Summer: OKAY, SNOWBALL, JUST CALM DOWN, OKAY?

calm summer

↓

YOU'RE SCARING ME.

scaring

↓

SCARING YOU?

scaring

↓

TELL ME, SUMMER, IF A HUMAN WAS BORN WITH STUMPY LEGS, WOULD

born human legs summer

↓

THEY BREED IT WITH ANOTHER DEFORMED HUMAN AND PUT THEIR

another breed deformed human

↓

CHILDREN ON DISPLAY LIKE THE DACHSHUND?

children display

↓

Summer: UHHH...

summer uhhh

↓

Jerry: HEY.

jerry

↓

Beth: [ GASPS ] Jerry: OH, WOW.

beth gasps jerry

↓

OKAY, IS -- IS -- IS EVERYTHING OKAY IN HERE?

↓

JERRY, COME TO RUB MY FACE IN URINE AGAIN?

face jerry urine

↓

Jerry: NO!

jerry

↓

NO, WE WERE...UH, JUST SEEING IF SUMMER WANTED TO...UH...

seeing summer wanted

↓

Beth: GO ON, UM, ONE OF OUR FAMOUS MIDNIGHT FAMILY WALKS!

beth family famous midnight walks

↓

Summer: YEAH. TOTALLY.

summer

↓

LET'S GO.

↓

YOU WILL WALK WHEN IT IS TIME TO WALK.

walk

↓

[ BIRD CAWS ] Rick: WHAT ARE WE HERE FOR

bird rick

↓

AGAIN?

↓

INCEPTING?

↓

Morty: WE'RE TRYING TO INCEPT ME TO GET AN "A" IN MATH?

math morty

↓

Rick: OH, YEAH.

rick

↓

[ ENGINE TURNS OVER ] BUCKLE UP, BITCH!

bitch buckle engine turns

↓

Morty: [ SCREAMS ] MAN, HE SURE SAYS "BITCH" A LOT!

bitch morty screams

↓

YOU CAN RUN, BUT YOU CAN'T HIDE, BITCH!

bitch hide

↓

Rick: HOLD ON, MORTY.

morty rick

↓

Y-YOU KNOW WHAT?

↓

I SAY WE TRY HIDING.

hiding

↓

Morty: BUT THAT'S THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT--

morty opposite

↓

Rick: YEAH, WELL, SINCE WHEN ARE WE TAKING THIS GUY'S ADVICE

advice rick

↓

ON ANYTHING?

↓

Morty: HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT?

morty

↓

YOU GOT A REALLY GOOD POINT THERE, RICK.

point rick

↓

LIKE, IF THE TRUTH WAS THAT WE COULD HIDE, IT'S NOT LIKE HE'D

hide truth

↓

BE SHARING THAT INFORMATION WITH US, YOU KNOW?

information sharing

↓

I-I-I THINK IT'S A GOOD IDEA, RICK.

idea rick

↓

Rick: WORST-CASE SCENARIO -- WE'RE BACK TO RUNNING.

case case-scenario rick running scenario worst

↓

Morty: WOW, YOU KNOW WHAT?

morty

↓

I MEAN, IT LOOKS LIKE WE COULD HAVE JUST HID THIS WHOLE TIME.

whole

↓

BOY, RICK, THAT WAS SOME GOOD THINKING.

rick thinking

↓

Rick: THANKS, MORTY.

morty rick thanks

↓

YEAH, IT'S NICE TO BE ON THE SAME PAGE EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE.

page

↓

[ GRUNTS ] YOU CAN RUN...

grunts

↓

BUT YOU CAN'T HIDE!

hide

↓

[ YAWNS ] Rick: OH, THIS IS PERFECT,

perfect rick yawns

↓

MORTY.

morty

↓

LOOK AT THAT.

↓

HE'S GETTING SLEEPY.

sleepy

↓

JUST A LITTLE BIT LONGER BEFORE HE CALLS IT A DAY.

calls longer

↓

THAT'S WHEN WE MAKE OUR MOVE.

↓

[ MACHINES WHIRRING ] Jerry: SNUFFLES, WE DIDN'T

jerry machines whirring

↓

MEAN YOU ANY HARM!

harm

↓

THIS IS A HUGE MISUNDERSTANDING.

huge misunderstanding

↓

Summer: Dad, he wants to be called Snowball.

called summer wants

↓

Jerry: WELL, I'M NOT CALLING HIM THAT.

calling jerry

↓

THAT'S RIDICULOUS.

ridiculous

↓

YOU'RE BEING VERY AGGRESSIVE, JERRY.

aggressive jerry

↓

PERHAPS TOMORROW DR. SCRAPS WILL SOLVE THAT PROBLEM WITH A BIT OF

perhaps problem scraps solve tomorrow

↓

SURGERY.

surgery

↓

Jerry: [ SCOFFS ] YOU THINK YOU CAN CONTROL ME

control jerry scoffs

↓

WITH A HAIRCUT?

haircut

↓

HI, HONEY. YOU'RE HOME EARLY.

early home home-early honey

↓

HOW WAS YOUR DAY?

↓

I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT!

↓

OH, OF COURSE.

course

↓

YOU NEVER WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT.

↓

GET OFF MY BACK, BITCH!

bitch

↓

[ BABY CRIES ] OUT THERE. NOT IN HERE.

baby baby-cries cries

↓

YEAH, I KNOW, I KNOW.

↓

I SHOULDN'T TAKE MY ANGER OUT ON YOU OR SCARY BRANDON.

anger brandon scary

↓

I LOVE YOU, MELISSA.

love melissa

↓

I LOVE YOU, TOO, TERRY.

love terry

↓

Rick: MORTY, THIS IS PERFECT.

morty perfect rick

↓

AFTER A LITTLE SCARY COITUS, THEY SHOULD BE FAST ASLEEP AND

asleep fast scary

↓

THEN WE'LL INCEPT HIM.

↓

[ SMOOCHING ] [ GROANING ]

groaning

↓

Rick: LOOKS LIKE SCARY TERRY'S HAVING A

having rick scary

↓

NIGHTMARE.

nightmare

↓

Morty: OH, BOY, RICK.

morty rick

↓

I CAN ONLY IMAGINE WHAT HORRIBLE THINGS MUST, YOU KNOW...

horrible imagine must

↓

[ DEVICE WHIRS ] ...SCARE SCARY TERRY.

device scare scary terry whirs

↓

[ SCHOOL BELL RINGS ] OH, NO!

bell bell-rings rings school school-bell school-bell-rings

↓

I'M LATE TO CLASS, BITCH!

bitch class late

↓

OH, NO!

↓

I'M NOT WEARING ANY PANTS!

pants wearing

↓

[ LAUGHTER ] AH, WELL, MR. TERRY, WHY

laughter terry

↓

DON'T YOU TELL THE WHOLE CLASS THE PROPER WORDPLAY TO USE WHEN

class proper whole

↓

ONE IS CHASING ONE'S VICTIM THROUGH A PUMPKIN PATCH?

chasing ones patch pumpkin victim

↓

OH...UM...

↓

"BITCH."

bitch

↓

[ LAUGHTER ] OH, COME ON, TERRY, YOU CAN'T

laughter terry

↓

THINK OF A PUN INVOLVING PUMPKINS, BITCH?

bitch involving pumpkins

↓

Morty: HEY, LEAVE HIM ALONE!

alone morty

↓

Rick: YEAH, THIS IS A BUNCH OF BULLCRAP.

bullcrap bunch rick

↓

WHO CARES WHAT STUPID PUN YOU MAKE WHEN YOU KILL SOMEONE?

cares kill stupid

↓

WHY DON'T YOU LET THE POOR GUY SAY WHATEVER HE WANTS?

poor wants

↓

WELL, I NEVER!

↓

I-I SEE NO REASON TO STAND HERE AND TAKE THIS.

reason stand

↓

Rick: YOU'RE PUTTING TOO MUCH PRESSURE ON YOURSELF,

pressure putting rick

↓

SCARY TERRY.

scary terry

↓

YOU KNOW, I MEAN, Y-YOU'RE PERFECTLY SCARY ENOUGH AS IT IS.

perfectly scary

↓

Morty: HEY, YO, SCARY T., DON'T EVEN TRIP ABOUT YOUR

morty scary trip

↓

PANTS...DAWG.

dawg pants

↓

HERE'S A PAIR ON US, FOOL.

fool pair

↓

AWW, BITCH.

bitch

↓

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.

↓

Morty: YOU DON'T NEED TO SAY ANYTHING.

morty

↓

WE GOT YOU, DAWG.

dawg

↓

Rick: YOU'RE OUR BOY, DAWG.

dawg rick

↓

DON'T EVEN TRIP.

trip

↓

OH, HEY, IT'S YOU GUYS!

↓

[ BABY COOS ] I HAVEN'T SEEN HIM THIS

baby seen

↓

RELAXED IN YEARS.

relaxed years

↓

IF YOU GUYS EVER NEED ANYTHING, JUST SAY THE WORD.

word

↓

Rick: AS A MATTER OF FACT, TERRY, THERE IS SOMETHING YOU

fact matter rick terry

↓

COULD HELP US WITH.

↓

♪ "Q," "R," YOU WON'T GET VERY FAR ♪

↓

I ALWAYS HATED THAT SONG!

hated song

↓

[ GASPS ] [ DEVICE WHIRS ]

device gasps whirs

↓

THESE HALVES DON'T BELONG TOGETHER, BITCH!

belong bitch

↓

[ GROANS ] [ DEVICE WHIRS ]

device groans whirs

↓

SEX IS SACRED!

sacred

↓

[ DEVICE WHIRS ] THIS IS BECAUSE YOU DON'T GIVE

device whirs

↓

MORTY SMITH GOOD GRADES, BITCH!

bitch grades morty smith

↓

[ GASPS ] HOLY CRAP! GOD DAMN!

gasps holy

↓

I KNOW ONE THING FOR SURE -- I'M GIVING MORTY AN "A" IN MATH, AND

giving math morty

↓

THAT'S MY IDEA.

idea

↓

THAT IS AN ORIGINAL THOUGHT.

original

↓

Morty: WHAT THE HELL?

morty

↓

Rick: OUT OF THE FRYING PAN DOT, DOT, DOT, HUH, MORTY?

morty rick

↓

Morty: OH, MAN, WHAT'S GOING ON?

morty

↓

Rick: WELL, IT'S POSSIBLE THAT YOUR DOG BECAME SELF-AWARE

aware became possible rick self

↓

AND MADE MODIFICATIONS ON THE COGNITION AMPLIFIER, THEN TURNED

modifications turned

↓

ON JERRY, BETH, AND SUMMER AFTER LEARNING ABOUT HUMANITY'S CRUEL

beth cruel jerry learning summer

↓

SUBJUGATION OF HIS SPECIES, BUT YOUR GUESS IS AS GOOD AS MINE,

species

↓

MORTY.

morty

↓

Summer: I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW MEAN SNUFFLES GOT JUST BECAUSE

believe summer

↓

HE'S SMART.

smart

↓

THIS IS WHY I CHOOSE TO GET C's.

choose

↓

Rick: PSST, BETH, JERRY, SUMMER.

beth jerry psst rick summer

↓

Beth: DAD!

beth

↓

Jerry: RICK!

jerry rick

↓

[ DEVICE ZAPS ] Summer: OH, THANK GOD, MORTY.

device morty summer

↓

Morty: OH, YOU'RE WELCOME.

morty welcome

↓

Rick: ALL RIGHT, LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.

rick

↓

IF WE HURRY [GULPS] WE CAN SET UP CAMP IN A SEWER TUNNEL OR

camp gulps hurry sewer tunnel

↓

SOMETHING BEFORE THE DOGS COMPLETELY TAKE OVER.

completely dogs

↓

Jerry: WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.

jerry whoa whoa-whoa whoa-whoa-whoa

↓

WE'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE.

↓

THIS IS MY HOUSE.

house

↓

I'M NOT ABANDONING IT.

abandoning

↓

Rick: IT'S ALL OVER, JERRY.

jerry rick

↓

THE DOGS ARE ON A PATH TO TOTAL WORLD DOMINATION.

dogs path total world

↓

BUT, HEY, AT LEAST THEY KNOW NOT TO PISS ON YOUR CARPET, RIGHT?

carpet least piss

↓

Jerry: WAIT A MINUTE.

jerry minute

↓

I HAVE AN IDEA.

idea

↓

[ CLEARS THROAT ] GENTLEMEN, A MOMENT OF YOUR

clears clears-throat gentlemen moment throat

↓

TIME.

↓

SEE THAT?

↓

I'M PEEING ALL OVER YOUR SPECIAL GUNS.

guns peeing special

↓

THAT MEANS I OWN THEM.

↓

BAD PERSON. BAD.

person

↓

Rick: OOH, GREAT PLAN, JERRY.

jerry plan rick

↓

BRING THE BOY TO ME.

bring

↓

YOU WERE ALWAYS KIND TO ME, MORTY.

morty

↓

THAT'S WHY I WILL LEAVE YOU WITH YOUR TESTICLES.

testicles

↓

FROM NOW ON, YOU WILL BE MY BEST FRIEND AND LIVE BY MY SIDE.

best best-friend friend live side

↓

Morty: TH-THANKS, SNUFFLES.

morty thanks

↓

BEGIN PHASE TWO.

begin phase

↓

FIGHTING CONTINUES AS THE DOG ARMY CAPTURES THE EASTERN

army continues eastern fighting

↓

SEABOARD.

↓

IT APPEARS CLEAR AT THIS TIME THAT THE ERA OF HUMAN

appears clear human

↓

SUPERIORITY HAS COME TO A BITTER END.

bitter

↓

[ SCREAMS ] PLEASE! PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!

kill screams

↓

[ MUFFLED SCREAMS ] WHAT'S SHE SAYING, BILL?

bill muffled screams

↓

I THINK SHE'S SAYING, "I LOVE LASAGNA."

lasagna love

↓

[ DOGS BARKING, HOWLING ] MMM.

barking dogs howling

↓

Morty: THANK YOU, FIDO.

morty

↓

RICK!

rick

↓

I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD!

dead

↓

Rick: NO, NO, NO, I WAS JUST PLAYING DEAD.

dead playing rick

↓

GOOD NEWS, THOUGH, MORTY.

morty news

↓

THIS WHOLE THING'S GONNA BE OVER REALLY SOON.

whole

↓

Morty: WHAT?

morty

↓

Rick: IT'S A DREAM, MORTY.

dream morty rick

↓

WE'RE IN YOUR DOG'S DREAM.

dogs dream

↓

THE NIGHT THE DOGS CAPTURED US, AFTER YOU CRIED AND CRAPPED

captured crapped cried dogs night

↓

YOUR PANTS, WE -- WE ALL WENT TO SLEEP.

pants sleep

↓

THEN I USED MY DREAM INCEPTORS TO PUT THE TWO OF US INSIDE

dream used

↓

SNUFFLES' DREAM.

dream

↓

Morty: BUT I-IT'S BEEN LIKE A WHOLE YEAR!

morty whole

↓

Rick: IT'S BEEN SIX HOURS.

hours rick

↓

DREAMS MOVE ONE ONE-HUNDREDTH THE SPEED OF REALITY, AND DOG

dreams reality speed

↓

TIME IS ONE-SEVENTH HUMAN TIME.

human seventh

↓

SO, YOU KNOW, EVERY DAY HERE IS LIKE A MINUTE.

minute

↓

IT'S LIKE "INCEPTION," MORTY, SO IF IT'S CONFUSING AND STUPID,

confusing morty stupid

↓

THEN SO IS EVERYONE'S FAVORITE MOVIE.

everyones favorite movie

↓

Morty: AW, MAN.

morty

↓

I REALLY LIKED THIS LIFE.

life liked

↓

WELL, AT LEAST I DIDN'T REALLY CRAP MY PANTS.

least pants

↓

Rick: NO, NO, THAT HAPPENED BEFORE YOU WENT TO SLEEP, MORTY.

happened morty rick sleep

↓

YOU'RE SLEEPING IN YOUR CRAP RIGHT NOW.

sleeping

↓

OUT OF ALL THE THINGS THAT HAPPENED TO YOU, THAT WAS THE

happened

↓

ONLY REAL THING THAT, YOU KNOW, IS THAT YOU CRAPPED YOUR PANTS.

crapped pants real

↓

I MEAN, IT'S A MESS OUT THERE.

mess

↓

I GOT SOME ON MY HANDS, MORTY, AND THEN I GOT IT ON THE DREAM

dream hands morty

↓

INCEPTOR, AND A PIECE FELL IN MY MOUTH.

fell mouth piece

↓

Morty: AW, MAN, GEEZ!

geez morty

↓

SERIOUSLY?

↓

Rick: LOOK, D-D-D-DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, MORTY.

morty rick worry

↓

HERE, HERE TAKE THESE, MORTY.

morty

↓

TAKE THESE.

↓

Morty: [ GULPS ] ARE THESE PILLS SUPPOSED TO WAKE

gulps morty pills supposed wake

↓

ME UP, OR SOMETHING?

↓

Rick: CLOSE.

close rick

↓

IT'S GONNA MAKE YOUR KIDNEYS SHUT DOWN.

kidneys

↓

Morty: WHAT?!

morty

↓

Rick: IT'S NECESSARY FOR THE PLAN, MORTY.

morty necessary plan rick

↓

DON'T EVEN TRIP, DAWG.

dawg trip

↓

[ MONITOR BEEPING ] IT'S PRETTY BAD,

beeping monitor monitor-beeping

↓

EMPEROR SNOWBALL.

emperor

↓

WE'RE GONNA NEED TO DO ANOTHER OPERATION.

another operation

↓

ANYTHING.

↓

ANYTHING FOR MY PRECIOUS MORTY.

morty precious

↓

SIR, AS YOUR ACCOUNTANT, I MUST ADVISE YOU THAT THESE

accountant advise must

↓

MEDICAL EXPENSES ARE PUTTING YOU IN SERIOUS FINANCIAL JEOPARDY.

expenses financial medical putting serious

↓

YOU COULD LOSE YOUR KINGDOM.

kingdom lose

↓

TO HELL WITH MY KINGDOM, BEAN COUNTER.

bean counter kingdom

↓

I WOULD TRADE IT ALL FOR MY HUMAN'S HEALTH AND HAPPINESS.

happiness health humans trade

↓

DO YOU THINK THEY WOULD HAVE DONE THIS FOR US?

↓

WE ARE NOT THEM!

↓

WE ARE NOT...THEM.

↓

[ BARKS ] [ GASPS ]

barks gasps

↓

ASSEMBLE THE TROOPS.

assemble troops

↓

I'VE MADE A DECISION.

decision

↓

TAKING OVER THE HUMAN'S WORLD WILL LEAD TO NOTHING BUT MORE

humans lead world

↓

HEARTBREAK, MORE CRUELTY.

cruelty

↓

INSTEAD, WE WILL GO TO A NEW WORLD AND COLONIZE IT WITH A

world

↓

SOCIETY OF INTELLIGENT DOGS -- ONE THAT WILL NOT MAKE THE SAME

dogs intelligent society

↓

MISTAKES AS HUMANITY AND ONE WHERE PET INSURANCE WILL BE

humanity insurance mistakes

↓

MANDATORY.

mandatory

↓

Morty: I'M GONNA MISS YOU, SNOWBALL.

miss morty

↓

YOU CAN CALL ME SNUFFLES, MORTY, AND I'M GOING TO MISS

miss morty

↓

YOU, TOO, VERY MUCH.

↓

Jerry: [ SNIFFLES ] Beth: JERRY?

beth jerry sniffles

↓

Jerry: I'M SORRY.

jerry

↓

IT'S JUST LIKE THE END OF "OLD YELLER."

↓

Beth: OH, JERRY.

beth jerry

↓

YOU MEAN BECAUSE IT HAD DOGS IN IT.

dogs

↓

Morty: WOW!

morty

↓

A WHOLE WORLD POPULATED BY INTELLIGENT DOGS.

dogs intelligent whole whole-world world

↓

I WONDER WHAT IT'LL BE LIKE, RICK.

itll rick wonder

↓

Rick: I THINK IT WILL BE GREAT, MORTY.

morty rick

↓

YOU KNOW, IT'S G-- I-I-I-I-IT COULD BE DEVELOPED IN-INTO A

developed

↓

VERY SATISFYING PROJECT FOR PEOPLE OF ALL AGES.

ages project satisfying

↓

I MEAN, I'D WATCH IT, MORTY, FOR AT LEAST 11 MINUTES A POP.

least minutes morty watch

↓

YOU KNOW, MAY-MAYBE THEY'LL DO IT BOARD-DRIVEN.

board driven

↓

Morty: YOU KNOW, THAT'S A REAL COMFORTING IDEA, RICK.

comforting idea morty real rick

↓

Rick: [ SIGHS ] WHAT DO YOU KNOW, MORTY?

morty rick sighs

↓

WHAT DO YOU KNOW?

↓

HI, GUYS.

↓

I'M YOUR NEW TEACHER FOR SCARY CLASS.

class scary teacher

↓

MY NAME IS SCARY MR. JOHNSON.

johnson name scary

↓

[ CHUCKLES ] UH, ACTUALLY, YOU KNOW WHAT?

chuckles

↓

THAT'S MY DAD'S NAME, SO WHY DON'T YOU JUST CALL ME

dads name

↓

SCARY GLENN, YEAH?

glenn scary

↓

[ STUDENTS GASP ] SO, ANYWAY, I UNDERSTAND YOUR

gasp students

↓

PREVIOUS TEACHER WAS HAVING YOU WORK ON FUNDAMENTALS OF FEAR.

fear having previous teacher

↓

WHICH IS -- WHAT IS THAT?

↓

[ Chuckling ] YOU KNOW?

chuckling

↓

SO, UH, HERE -- HERE'S WHAT I SAY -- YOU CAN'T LEARN ANYTHING

learn

↓

UNTIL YOU LEARN...HOW TO CHILL.

chill learn

↓

OOOH!

oooh

↓

Rick: [ EXHALES DEEPLY ] THIS IS HOW YOU DREAM, BITCH.

bitch deeply dream exhales rick