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Malcolm in the Middle

Season 6, Episode 6 โ€” Hal's Christmas Gift

TMDB episode metadata
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Crap!
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Pick. Ass. Oh.
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What?
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Reese just came up with the most fun thing to do.
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Riding your bike
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through the graveyard with your eyes closed.
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He smashed into
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Huh. Oh, well.
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It's not a big deal.
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It's just that my feelings are kind of...
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Oh, crap!
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Your what are kind of what?
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Nothing. Forget it.
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I think someone has feelings, Dewey.
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I do not!
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We've gotta make this right.
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Group hug?
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Shut up!
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Oh, listen to those feelings.
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Come here, you.
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Get away from me!
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In our house, that's the "F" word.
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Okay, if we get Reese the walkie-talkies
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with only two channels,
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We have enough stuff that sticks to walls.
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Dewey can live with the regular Spider-Man.
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Just make sure that Malcolm's pile has enough in it that...
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What? Oh, damn it!
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Well, it's our own fault. We just weren't frugal enough.
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Hello.
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Yes, we'll have the whole family here...
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exchanging gifts.
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Well, we can't wait to see you.
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Six piles?
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Five. Piama and Jamie can share.
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Excuse me?
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I know you didn't think anyone would catch you,
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but you just slammed your door into my car.
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The least you could do is say you're sorry, lady.
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You don't have to take that tone.
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It's not like I'm hurting your resale value.
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I'm sorry.
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See? Like that.
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Oh!
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I don't know what happened.
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I just lost control of myself.
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It was like an out-of-body experience,
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and I was there watching this woman go insane.
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And the woman was me.
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But you know what, Hal?
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I'd do it all over again.
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It felt great.
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It was almost worth destroying my car.
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Well, honey, the important thing is no cops were there to see it.
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No one says a word.
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This is my one.
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My one to your 11,000.
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So, due to unforeseen circumstances, we are now completely broke.
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Therefore, I am making a proclamation.
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This will be a handmade Christmas.
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We're not spending any money on gifts.
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They will be homemade
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and, therefore, more personal and more thoughtful.
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But you can't do this!
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Well, I think it's high time we had a handmade Christmas.
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You boys just don't appreciate the holidays.
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To you it's nothing
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but a disgusting orgy of materialism.
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- But... - No buts!
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You're the ones who turned your mother
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into a ticking time bomb!
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Oh, you just thank your lucky stars
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that she went off on an innocent bystander!
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So we had our Christmas feast of oatmeal and hot dog buns.
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Since then, we've been waiting three hours
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for Dad to come out of the garage.
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What is taking him so long?
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What are you talking about?
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Nothing you'd be interested in.
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You don't know that.
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If it's interesting to you guys, it's gonna be interesting to me.
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We were wondering what nose hairs smell like.
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Well, that's very interesting!
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Hal, hurry up already!
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In a minute.
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Hal!
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All right, everyone over by the tree.
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Open mine first!
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Okay, okay. Let's see
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what little Dewey made for his dad.
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Wow!
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Where did you find that?
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I never take a good picture.
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I went through every box in the attic and found that one.
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I made the frame with mementos of your hobbies.
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Wait. You made this frame?
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Yeah. See it has a little
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golf club, a fishing pole,
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a poker hand.
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I even pasted on the Jumble you finished.
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Dewey, this is really nice.
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Here, Mom, this is from me.
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Oh, it's so heavy.
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Wow!
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Reese, are these jams?
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And candies.
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I had some sugar left over, so I figured, why not?
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It's Christmas.
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You made this?!
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Here, Mom. Here, Dad.
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Oh, my God! it's a clock.
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- You made this?! - I read up
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on all-wood clocks and then
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borrowed the tools from wood shop.
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See the gears? They make different
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patterns as they turn.
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Oh, I'm very
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impressed, boys.
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You all worked so hard on these gifts.
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Open mine next.
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It's a sonata I composed for you.
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Oh, I'll get to it.
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It's your father's turn to give something.
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Uh...
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my gift...
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isn't here.
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Not here? What do you mean?
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Well, we-we knew the boys would really come through with great gifts,
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and any present that could top what they did can't be here...
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can it?
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Merry Chris...
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You started without us?
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Dad's about to give us a really cool present!
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Is it outside?
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- Let's find out. - Like a treasure hunt?
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Cool! All right, let's go!
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Oh.
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Wow, Mom, this is fantastic.
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I am so happy to be home for Christmas.
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You said this house was Satan's trash can.
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You're quoting me out of context.
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So, Dad, where is it?
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Are we supposed to drive to it?
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Yes! Yes!
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You guessed the first clue.
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Everybody into the van. Let's go!
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Hal...
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Merry Christmas, honey!
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โ™ช Jingle bells, jingle bells โ™ช
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โ™ช Jingle all the way โ™ช
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โ™ช Oh, what fun it is to ride in a one-horse... โ™ช
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- Are we there yet? - Yeah, where are we going?
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I know. We're going to Disneyland.
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It's a thousand times better than Disneyland.
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Cool!
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- What was that? - A handshake.
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Now they've got some lame, third-grade
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secret handshake.
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I think I got half of it.
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We love Dad!
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We love Dad!
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We love Dad! We love Dad! We love Dad!
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Rest stop. Everybody out.
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No eye contact with strangers.
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Look at 'em scamper.
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You don't need to...?
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No.
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โ™ช Here comes Santa Claus... โ™ช
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You couldn't have said twice as good as Disneyland?
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You saw those presents, Lois!
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What was I supposed to do?
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My presents were crap!
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What did you make them?
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- Lanyards. - Still better than what I had.
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Look, I underestimated these boys, Lois,
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and they deserve to have a really great Christmas.
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How much money do we have?
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- Zero. - No, I mean everything,
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credit cards, loose change, everything?
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Oh. Minus $512.
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What?! Oh, for God sakes!
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Can you think of a Christmas reason
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for stopping somewhere I can sell blood?
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Oh, Hal, don't worry about it.
โ†“
d46a929e-dba1-4f0e-89c9-61a185b66ff4.gif
It'll be okay.
โ†“
475308bb-b3d8-4aef-b6e4-1afa99a86d0d.gif
You just need to find something
โ†“
947d9477-b1d3-4ba6-ac14-41f11ff19b2b.gif
that's a thousand times better than Disneyland,
โ†“
9ffe8712-f706-44fd-8df2-de9d52fb96fa.gif
open on Christmas Day and free.
โ†“
8c37022c-169b-4ec8-a7dd-9ecfbcf4cd02.gif
Just because it's hard, Lois,
โ†“
f0674f9b-c60c-4dff-8887-ec913161d17a.gif
doesn't mean it's impossible.
โ†“
267a8cfa-c885-488d-b757-fc4d2b177b9d.gif
I am going to make this happen.
โ†“
2c29de48-b24a-43a1-ae5a-446a90ebba56.gif
Hal, we don't even have enough gas to get home.
โ†“
e8dc2917-fc32-4b55-a4d8-052c813586b0.gif
Yes, we do.
โ†“
cd00c708-91b8-43a3-b498-774b31328b14.gif
I did all the calculations, Lois.
โ†“
310f1e14-b202-4554-ae5f-955c7729656f.gif
We are exactly 40 miles from the point of no return.
โ†“
c85e81d3-112f-4afe-85de-4e1b4844370a.gif
And I promise you I will figure out a plan by then.
โ†“
18a2def5-b3cd-4fac-8e0a-8775842a9edd.gif
If not, I will turn the van around.
โ†“
1d28ee11-c406-4e45-af58-95602863a3b5.gif
Just don't rat me out.
โ†“
479c67fe-2147-4d1a-8d66-1285cb8c8aef.gif
Please, honey.
โ†“
2fb6d104-081a-4289-9aab-30e45907993b.gif
It's Christmas.
โ†“
b6ab06b1-09c0-4af2-b867-08e425638c5e.gif
I can't wait much longer.
โ†“
34da7c5f-46a8-4aee-89b6-2819285cc9e8.gif
Mom, is it really going to be as good as Dad says?
โ†“
3abf9dc3-7d3b-4af6-920d-fe3bbb712142.gif
Dewey, I think you'll remember this day for a long time.
โ†“
cb25525d-b692-44c2-8529-c617dbc3c715.gif
I think we'll all remember this day for a very long time.
โ†“
9814ecee-5f9d-48f5-ad9b-e8dac91f4d6b.gif
All right, since no one wants to race cigarette butts,
โ†“
5c8c552e-fbc3-4ada-8060-2616f656a151.gif
I'm outta here.
โ†“
89139e4a-8b39-4092-ad76-3475cc30ec4f.gif
Francis, I have to talk to you about something.
โ†“
bcb2fc94-26aa-4968-af32-b9eb4bd24839.gif
It's weird, but lately I kind of feel
โ†“
f8f77ddb-c1bc-4d00-b5f3-26bb786b3162.gif
like I'm being left out by Reese and Dewey.
โ†“
7b4f5915-4fcd-411b-9421-b46d1104d184.gif
Aw, geez. Look, I'm sorry.
โ†“
8f25a480-dbc3-42b8-9c3a-4e506fee8390.gif
You weren't supposed to know about the beach trip.
โ†“
de0b26e5-1b39-42df-9ccd-7f5731735f21.gif
- What?! - Hey, geez, watch it!
โ†“
9b6545ff-93fc-4e1d-bbc2-67c4dfc714c2.gif
What beach trip?!
โ†“
dcd53457-d847-4770-9381-2774c6f9b5a3.gif
I took Reese and Dewey to the beach last summer.
โ†“
a560b1d4-3c7d-46d5-82b2-1563d5848615.gif
I would've invited you, but you were over at Stevie's.
โ†“
d716321b-46ee-45ba-a00a-89c163083a2b.gif
He lives two blocks away!
โ†“
62622c21-ef89-47d3-a088-e09895d86fce.gif
You have to go by his house to get to the beach!
โ†“
1d114ace-31e3-45a5-b3a9-ea663d638fd7.gif
Why is this happening?
โ†“
0e0e31c6-4d86-49c4-8ca5-76b637841a6b.gif
I'm the brother everybody likes the best.
โ†“
6b1f1cbf-3170-445a-a728-a9db96be953b.gif
What are you talking about?
โ†“
f1ae46b7-9b4e-46b7-82d2-ec03409ba6e1.gif
I'm the brother everybody likes best.
โ†“
5a3d6c7f-9605-49ae-b919-e34536db162a.gif
I meant of the brothers who are still at home.
โ†“
78743937-e910-428e-b24c-455c81a96b2c.gif
That's Dewey.
โ†“
62f96654-b33d-4843-9273-2509d20fcdc0.gif
What? Where am I in the pecking order?
โ†“
608f7403-e9a1-48f8-9fcf-b1a4b27aacf5.gif
Malcolm, I am not gonna stand here in a public toilet
โ†“
d274ca38-f81c-4dcb-8ff3-dd227b21a0bb.gif
and rank me, Dewey, Reese, Jamie and you
โ†“
a4c026a3-8181-4a52-8c85-270d0b589a3f.gif
in order of popularity.
โ†“
3d132863-e88f-43f6-8c16-95a5b792019b.gif
So are we getting close?
โ†“
e1cb4dc5-cd42-43da-8703-95764e0a6de9.gif
Now, now.
โ†“
623f874d-6c12-4079-945a-594c53e71cd9.gif
You're not going to trick me
โ†“
db85930e-20fe-40ad-aee1-e43e914ca54e.gif
into giving it away.
โ†“
2e6a25a9-fe02-4475-aa75-0b39277d4856.gif
It's a surprise.
โ†“
151f164d-4f22-4a2b-85f1-47cbc58d21f9.gif
Hal, you are five miles
โ†“
7202ad99-427d-45c4-8019-35f130c7fc12.gif
from the point of no return.
โ†“
a215bc0e-91b1-44d6-8fed-607c96f64503.gif
Look, I know we don't talk about our emotions,
โ†“
66b93edd-843d-4e66-9c4c-8fe15bc4eadb.gif
but I don't care anymore.
โ†“
d30dfdb2-95f1-42e8-9390-fa9d44ef060c.gif
I'm just going to lay it out there.
โ†“
c8fb133f-d2d7-4721-b9ff-80739cfa5c29.gif
My feelings are hurt.
โ†“
9c044417-0b4a-4389-aa88-05042560a7d2.gif
There, I said it.
โ†“
d1750292-695d-4fd2-8ce1-da6c64496684.gif
They're hurt because you guys are
โ†“
d1892ac9-16ff-4db6-9d9c-5712d9e1b8f0.gif
systematically excluding me.
โ†“
89ddf1d5-4528-468f-ab43-33939f1214ce.gif
Being excluded is extra hard for me
โ†“
e9e6c3ac-657a-432e-9eba-5e3c99462af5.gif
because I see all the other places
โ†“
84cd9fb1-38c3-4f59-b19b-10ef344e2516.gif
I don't fit in, and we're brothers.
โ†“
12f15aa7-e506-40a2-968f-34f9dc675b8d.gif
I really want us to be in this together.
โ†“
67a3a603-d078-41ef-b4b2-21d71d9e26cb.gif
What a gasbag.
โ†“
1c4d6078-b226-4005-a63a-d0712952dfb4.gif
Your feelings aren't hurt.
โ†“
3de6a08b-e86d-460f-b286-856ee986b6fa.gif
Your ego is bruised.
โ†“
3b26f59d-f37c-466c-816c-210415e92715.gif
The reason we exclude you sometimes
โ†“
286310bc-3bf2-42d9-95ee-86bc30fdef91.gif
is because you're a drag.
โ†“
8564f936-09a6-4421-b13c-e70d0d000a2a.gif
You always have to be the special one.
โ†“
a311044a-cec0-4e02-9959-d9f1aa2ee90f.gif
Even now, this is all about
โ†“
5ec66681-f71c-4162-9d51-c3304fb9983e.gif
how you feel things
โ†“
47e0a067-dc17-4c70-8c5c-e7bbbff5d286.gif
more deeply than everyone else.
โ†“
25b49836-e386-46fd-aceb-45e73cfaa8de.gif
Look, we love you.
โ†“
b4efe070-30f9-424b-be2d-b42f1e281106.gif
We just need a break from you every once in a while.
โ†“
d11aa8e2-5002-465f-b3ef-e2a0a7201186.gif
Okay, Hal...
โ†“
2a079e2e-8138-4435-829e-3a06df9d4df4.gif
Francis, can I see you up here for a second, please?
โ†“
d28a73f3-a30d-46ad-884e-f8c82251ae9e.gif
I need your help with the radio.
โ†“
bd8c43cd-837b-46e7-baec-93a8be8a6c3b.gif
What are you...?
โ†“
27ac7e56-7785-4a04-8068-b723c8319166.gif
I need to borrow $1,800.
โ†“
4aa2310f-0992-40a1-ace4-30f56f836da5.gif
I'll pay you back over the next six years
โ†“
5a47c08e-c273-4010-b7b1-bf4bf62b9290.gif
in monthly payments of $39.50.
โ†“
b8617474-9339-4033-9485-d8f5f7d98aa4.gif
I have no money to give these boys a Christmas gift
โ†“
b95caba4-406b-4542-9efa-4e16dc0ddd98.gif
and I'm not even sure where I'm driving.
โ†“
da725b13-5bd5-4645-a39c-7cceb6efc87a.gif
I hate to ask you, but I don't know what else to do.
โ†“
7af2cf73-5f15-4fcf-9d68-b920ecc93492.gif
I love you.
โ†“
2525b3cb-ff3e-441f-b78f-ef173da46fe1.gif
Well, I guess this is as good a time as any to tell you.
โ†“
1fd4bb04-eb68-4725-8fd2-12166feaf231.gif
I got fired from my job. I am totally broke.
โ†“
4da84bd1-34e7-4adc-b475-3c87e9349fd3.gif
What? You got fired from the ranch?
โ†“
ab307996-4fdb-4ee7-8574-99dbe2847d4b.gif
It turns out the ATM I was making all of Otto's
โ†“
dca7ecd3-5766-465e-ab86-955e6803427d.gif
deposits into wasn't an ATM. So sue me, right?
โ†“
d20b6ef7-028c-4166-922f-ea64044a8d3e.gif
Anyway, he's suing me.
โ†“
86ab9bdc-21d6-49cf-8ad8-083b01c50a79.gif
I don't know what we're going to do.
โ†“
8d3c8071-7190-40df-8edf-ee64a901ca07.gif
You're not moving back in!
โ†“
855f32db-a1b4-4f48-9736-17f83c86c3ec.gif
There isn't room enough in the house!
โ†“
a3d8276a-ff3c-4705-8ff2-74fa1d62fe88.gif
Besides, Piama doesn't want to live with us.
โ†“
2f29c312-d158-4022-a75f-4ba20fb11883.gif
Piama doesn't even know about it.
โ†“
1e46fe50-25a0-4467-af24-369454cb9809.gif
She thinks I'm on vacation.
โ†“
0aa23306-e20d-4861-8da0-77dbf56e9f37.gif
I've been acting like the happiest man
โ†“
ffbb4681-2d54-4c97-a1ee-fa26081bab04.gif
in the world the last few weeks just to hide it from her.
โ†“
fde116a8-98f0-4fda-8a73-ae07d0ffcb31.gif
I have to say, I am a little disappointed in you, Francis.
โ†“
0d5b480d-ce41-4ee7-9fe3-7bc3145884b9.gif
You can't hide something like this
โ†“
f7b47d24-f4b0-4877-9e38-80082be6b9b6.gif
from the ones you love.
โ†“
30177486-c90f-4b30-957d-787069fae700.gif
Honesty is the cornerstone
โ†“
9c954a35-d3ca-4e1c-a004-d4c26f3c6315.gif
of any healthy relationship.
โ†“
151625b1-c6db-4254-a315-f3748a7b98b3.gif
Well, I'm sorry I can't help you.
โ†“
007beaba-b506-40e6-b662-bdc16dfb2037.gif
Okay, Hal, it's been 40 miles.
โ†“
3a026cdb-101d-4a8c-8917-d1489beca43a.gif
We are at the point of no return.
โ†“
979acdaf-ec54-406d-a88e-0e5bd8c1bff7.gif
Hal, turn around.
โ†“
b1e669c4-445d-4bab-b6d6-8f3f4f63be37.gif
Ding... ding... ding...
โ†“
8a4ecc33-2441-4a00-a744-d39d0b48b2e2.gif
ding... ding...
โ†“
77f12666-3250-424a-bf3a-67cbad725e41.gif
Let's get out and stretch our legs.
โ†“
2af4f030-b49a-48cf-b0a0-0ebc37512531.gif
You coming, Malcolm?
โ†“
8b7b0533-832b-4422-9d64-0b731299ac7d.gif
You sure? I might accidentally talk about myself.
โ†“
3990c108-6bf5-49ed-81a3-b25f45c381ba.gif
You mean like just now?
โ†“
ccc46ab2-eb1a-4fbf-a3f5-6ef0c05488e6.gif
Hal, what are you doing?
โ†“
5ed1f352-065c-4e45-ac6e-58f32c93334d.gif
I'm buying time.
โ†“
b0311c6d-f7a6-4eab-9098-1240f4a622f4.gif
Look, I don't know how you got me
โ†“
5ee86220-9384-4739-a56c-711d2a86f16e.gif
to go along with this, but that's it.
โ†“
909940fb-cba1-4bb3-bb97-9242ad1addd9.gif
The Christmas lie is over.
โ†“
fc23a6b1-df1f-4756-9d31-5b76668d0881.gif
60 more seconds, Lois. You can time me.
โ†“
511fd7f7-5d11-4169-9d71-accd1c7d07c5.gif
I'm not...!
โ†“
397a4bd0-68f9-41ed-9217-52c368037fe0.gif
Fine.
โ†“
8bc6f1d2-d102-4d15-b53a-abc9003be842.gif
- Whoa! Nice rides. - Yeah.
โ†“
98ac0224-793c-4ffb-858b-4440cca6e904.gif
The fat lady at the car wash rides one of these.
โ†“
ada33521-6bd5-498f-bd49-45981e78f3ef.gif
Nice going, Dewey!
โ†“
bad8400e-969f-4321-8049-2e49411578e5.gif
I wasn't even touching it. It was you!
โ†“
db26b44a-6ead-47d7-930c-21c185362b74.gif
What'd you do, man?!
โ†“
8c5a21a5-e9a7-48ba-9d8e-3c2db8c5f528.gif
Wait, wait!
โ†“
7faa2c66-e3c4-413f-9dcd-750b68cb70ff.gif
Those guys didn't do it.
โ†“
5b22b86a-eb18-4450-854c-387aa9632c6c.gif
What are you talking about?
โ†“
1bf17b38-284e-4bf4-9599-a3042fdd9905.gif
I'm not going to let these people
โ†“
888978ed-c1e3-4410-8300-cb972ea89717.gif
take the blame when they didn't do it.
โ†“
465658ec-984f-4c3f-b929-376502abb793.gif
It was my dad.
โ†“
872c57cd-bec6-478f-9810-6e4f254888c8.gif
He was trying to teach me a lesson
โ†“
f8a71812-a2e8-47ae-9ebe-bcfc0ae018c9.gif
so I wouldn't grow up and be like you.
โ†“
540327ee-588f-4120-93ce-027e0b4442af.gif
Malcolm, oh, my God, that was awesome!
โ†“
4c6d4726-1848-4bf1-bd24-503e2481810e.gif
- That was so cool! - Thanks!
โ†“
5e2de429-1362-4e92-9209-6156fced6731.gif
Okay, honey, you've got 20 seconds.
โ†“
3553d910-f282-4d35-a70f-b3d4d22ad591.gif
Lois, there is going to be a Christmas!
โ†“
8c1ea192-bd59-42af-924e-f97159a6d6f7.gif
Hal, no!
โ†“
5b46ad54-2b08-416a-b4f3-a3ecf926d56b.gif
Oh, no! I seem to have slipped
โ†“
5872068d-9c59-488d-8304-aa1c134938b5.gif
on an oil stain left here
โ†“
125794ff-91ee-4d96-8a0f-da146e44cda4.gif
by a negligent owner or employee.
โ†“
5119786a-38a4-4665-b7dd-af9c05a87536.gif
Hal!
โ†“
ccaea53a-dcf2-4c9a-b7a2-346a72150262.gif
Oh, my God!
โ†“
155afdeb-d1cc-403e-bc7d-412f196c3aed.gif
Are you okay?
โ†“
6af65e4c-d453-41ad-9848-83317833cfce.gif
Yes, damn it!
โ†“
aa69eaa7-2477-439b-94b5-af93e3ab972f.gif
Oh, thank goodness.
โ†“
75b35eb7-e620-43ae-b574-98cb100a1e42.gif
I don't have any insurance.
โ†“
a403ff44-bedd-46e9-93b3-e623b00719ba.gif
We both dodged a bullet.
โ†“
a3967aef-cdd9-4908-a151-a394f92bd3d9.gif
After I sweep this up,
โ†“
7a987bdb-6e08-46a4-aa64-9458dcf3fa54.gif
you're getting wiper blades, on the house.
โ†“
9f1a104a-8423-48a4-b6d1-c71d471e29cd.gif
Hal...
โ†“
2a433387-0c86-40f8-a182-c277efb10778.gif
You know what?
โ†“
c9ea3409-51d6-45ee-b5e7-e655cc6c9896.gif
I saw a trail behind here that leads up into the hills.
โ†“
eed3218d-57c6-4e95-8db7-226cb1186a25.gif
There's probably something really great up there.
โ†“
5f543dc2-73aa-4841-9394-d832663e2cc7.gif
All we need is a few flashlights to get started.
โ†“
cde60513-c4de-4334-814e-2dcd37f44dbb.gif
Hal, it's time for you to face the boys
โ†“
76931b6f-4957-470b-a290-12679aeb1c8f.gif
and tell them what's going on.
โ†“
12312673-9e2f-4437-a979-3a08e9e80b71.gif
Hal, they're good boys.
โ†“
15d5a22d-c6c8-4466-8aed-6ac6b3f3a6a8.gif
They forgave you for banjo camp; they'll forgive you for this.
โ†“
0b450e22-cc55-48f9-a5cc-a6c089f3c339.gif
And I will try sharing the blame with you,
โ†“
06e39f14-7005-43a7-816c-28d1f23ee7a1.gif
but honey, this has got your fingerprints all over it.
โ†“
e345e0de-86f7-4b80-804b-53810af06f59.gif
You know, you're a pretty good brother after all.
โ†“
df7ac223-3a8d-4b4e-9184-6dd71db7e759.gif
Thanks. You look cold. Take my jacket.
โ†“
2df21ec8-377f-4a44-b5ff-2604cb358275.gif
I think I could've handled those bikers,
โ†“
657fac95-9276-4cae-a825-e749648d9c66.gif
but with a baby and a chick around,
โ†“
78e8dc82-0eb1-480d-9104-fa5bf38c0a8e.gif
you probably did the right thing, Malcolm.
โ†“
832d9202-e01e-4d05-928a-c45452363998.gif
Thanks for thinking of us, Reese.
โ†“
499ef649-e001-4881-be84-5c37ae99c040.gif
What's this?
โ†“
b6d84c07-b5ee-4382-bb3e-f4b49912b9b9.gif
Nothing. Give me that.
โ†“
2633d367-6af9-47f7-95ba-c9af0b69e886.gif
It's a credit card receipt
โ†“
db29cbc0-5d2c-4cfa-b1c7-187c6c113772.gif
from The Clockworks.
โ†“
586334ce-319e-4339-be11-f98916e1d0bc.gif
You bought those clocks?
โ†“
d5b2302c-1914-40ae-95a0-f7ac9acd63aa.gif
You have a credit card? Since when?
โ†“
b65fd5ba-f7ec-432a-b5cf-d054c8221911.gif
They sent it to me in the mail a couple months ago.
โ†“
ffd66c27-3419-4fc0-9018-4a8d72518df7.gif
They must've thought I was old enough
โ†“
5bc8bad8-fc67-49ff-9d90-43465312fced.gif
after I won that physics award.
โ†“
cac07899-d878-474e-92d4-72141b39d79e.gif
So when I superglued my eyelids shut,
โ†“
f5b3c9ca-d9bc-4b14-98ef-3deea037d8a1.gif
and I was in the emergency room,
โ†“
f32b6e30-3805-4936-add6-269d3c0874eb.gif
we could've used your credit card
โ†“
6ef4c569-598f-42ab-a30c-664060fe8d7c.gif
instead of having to call Mom?!
โ†“
e0a967f5-1c35-42a5-8b08-186924682663.gif
I'm not going to let you jeopardize my credit rating.
โ†“
530bb659-e3d9-491d-ab7a-2988d020458c.gif
I want to buy a house someday.
โ†“
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Malcolm, you're a jerk.
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Mom, Malcolm has a credit card,
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and he bought you Christmas presents with it.
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What?
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Malcolm, you bought those presents,
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after everything I've been through?
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We all worked so hard
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to make this a special Christmas,
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and you just took a cheap shortcut!
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Those clocks cost 50 bucks each!
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I don't care what they cost!
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This isn't a competition, Malcolm.
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You know, all I really want from you on Christmas is this!
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I forgive you, son.
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Okay, everybody, listen up.
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I don't want this to ruin our trip.
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Want to know where we're going?
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Yeah.
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Snow skiing on Mount Bundy!
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I love Mount Bundy.
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That's a room for the night,
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ski passes and equipment rentals.
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Will you be putting that on your credit card?
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Let's give it a shot.
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Oh, yes!
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In your face!
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Hal, this is the low point, isn't it?
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We're not going to sink any further, are we?
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What are you talking about?
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We've stolen our son's credit card.
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If it weren't for my rage and your recklessness,
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our kids might have a fighting chance.
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Lois, those are the exact things
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that make us great parents.
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If it wasn't for your anger and my recklessness,
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we wouldn't be on this amazing ski vacation, would we?
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You know, this just might be our best Christmas ever.
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Francis, I want you to quit your job.
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What?
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Ever since we left on this trip,
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you've just seemed so insanely happy.
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I can't let you go back to that job.
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You've got to find something else to do.
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You're right.
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You know, in fact, let's not even go back to that ranch.
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I'll call Otto in the morning,
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and if he doesn't understand, tough.
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Okay, so who wants
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- some hot chocolate by the fire, huh? - Yeah!
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Enjoy your stay, Malcolm.
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Thanks.