โ™ฅ Saved GIFs

Loadingโ€ฆ

View all favorites โ†’

Malcolm in the Middle

Season 5, Episode 16 โ€” Malcolm Visits College

TMDB episode metadata
โ†“
6a530ec8-1736-4e62-a062-1ef5860e3dfc.gif
No more junk food.
โ†“
57f193fb-4daf-45a9-8a61-df7073bd1943.gif
From now on we are gonna be a family that eats healthy.
โ†“
34dccbda-2f68-4410-9443-d09781099e56.gif
Brownie? Mm.
โ†“
50745b21-531c-4e49-aefa-ddbbde3f65d9.gif
โ™ช Yes, no, maybe โ™ช
โ†“
7af0c62b-58c0-4cc1-aeeb-7c865f17f1a4.gif
โ™ช I don't know โ™ช
โ†“
9264033d-36c8-417a-a19d-ecf264bced08.gif
โ™ช Life is unfair โ™ช
โ†“
f49d7929-a7d0-4069-9a80-4d087c108e71.gif
My mind was taking a shower with a college chick.
โ†“
5f612376-ac3e-4914-8ffc-14fa01783cb6.gif
There's tons of reasons to go out with a guy like me.
โ†“
c6595bd0-ef51-4b76-94b0-327f1b525646.gif
To make your dad mad, or your boyfriend jealous.
โ†“
b8aee354-949e-44cc-b9ef-bb90e4eea587.gif
I thought I had a chance with the fat ride.
โ†“
f2cb22ae-55f6-4074-94fd-d38e893df566.gif
- Did you actually call her that? - Hey, I didn't make her fat.
โ†“
cf3d248e-d342-4de5-bce8-dfc41b0792cd.gif
We have a new narc? What happened to Druggie Dougie?
โ†“
8e787b34-d5d1-421a-b8f9-4c22e0d1513e.gif
He got served divorce papers in history class.
โ†“
b7b18062-5169-4b54-ae52-a60f87f56a17.gif
Come on, she's so cute.
โ†“
bafeb887-e2e8-4fca-bd7c-b9860bd10646.gif
She's a narc?
โ†“
d7762763-3d4f-4699-b149-73da819103de.gif
Hey, papers? Anyone got papers?
โ†“
e2a6c9e0-b7b8-49ee-9020-d344efc0c0d6.gif
Hey, uh, papers? Anybody got papers?
โ†“
d818d904-b479-4b6e-a8b2-b4b0a6f0325f.gif
Do you even know anyone who does drugs?
โ†“
101c41a6-e2ba-4da5-8c2d-36de20c615be.gif
Why are you asking me? I don't have any friends.
โ†“
6cd78cb0-ee6b-414d-b179-fc4de91b69a8.gif
But sometimes, I do have brilliant ideas.
โ†“
b67aae11-671a-42ac-8c23-51180d196295.gif
Where are you going?
โ†“
9b6a6117-c7fe-493e-8652-92ef35950ebd.gif
Malcolm, I live in a world of what the hells.
โ†“
3fc294d2-1f23-48ee-9a64-ceb1a4bf8c91.gif
Ooh.
โ†“
e0fc7f5d-1d5c-47dc-8424-c6f0d2485b08.gif
You can't do this to me.
โ†“
027ee4d0-0c93-4b86-b802-576d71ca6d90.gif
Dad's supposed to take me, not you.
โ†“
2d66fd35-dcc7-445c-bdc8-a0639be97923.gif
This is a big deal, we don't want to blow it.
โ†“
34c5f456-19bd-4c01-8c6b-1ac25af15d6b.gif
If I come along, I can make sure that you don't say
โ†“
f09b93c5-da98-4e55-805f-fb36c9777704.gif
or do anything that you shouldn't.
โ†“
54b28dcc-e2c1-4eea-90b3-1fd139eb8a73.gif
I can take the pressure off you.
โ†“
fbb7aebd-7601-45c0-b234-f9d6de7fee54.gif
Wait a second.
โ†“
6f1943b7-8726-4d7d-91c7-1c331de9e4d0.gif
You guys are talking about college for Malcolm and not me?
โ†“
16790eef-b233-4546-a6c3-971abe67c282.gif
I'm older than he is. Why aren't you taking me to look at colleges?
โ†“
2bf47f6d-42e0-45df-a4d4-f92325d274b6.gif
What the hell are you doing back here?
โ†“
c72bb08e-b49f-461f-add9-8378bb99c31e.gif
The pianos are for paying customers only. You're wearing out the keys!
โ†“
d85f732c-b181-48d0-b1a1-632d7fdef417.gif
Hey.
โ†“
183650c2-ac4b-4091-922c-e376a4cd5747.gif
I'm not gonna buy you a piano. You've never even had lessons.
โ†“
cacbb803-3280-445e-b014-c99282cf18dc.gif
I don't need lessons. I already know how to play.
โ†“
ef5e707e-5df4-4ea4-a1b0-0615e93b05b1.gif
I'm great. Look.
โ†“
06fa9efc-3b20-4847-8b4e-e538505bb1ca.gif
That's very cute, Dewey, but we can't afford a piano.
โ†“
390de657-b004-4e62-9cd1-7dec1094bcaf.gif
Do you know how close my company is to going out of business?
โ†“
81a4ae00-54ee-4c25-8e3d-3f3461d677fd.gif
They're selling our office furniture and forcing us to have desk buddies.
โ†“
1e9a9a57-4d54-4a92-a37a-8ffadd6a18d5.gif
Dad, you don't know me very well, but you couldn't have missed the fact
โ†“
094d1a68-ea48-47b1-a48c-ebe894bb5f59.gif
that I'm having a horrible childhood.
โ†“
2adbe632-85b7-4512-87d0-17fd2cb0cae7.gif
Now there's a chance for you to make it suck a little less.
โ†“
f97f0b8d-daab-4f21-9012-451670bade21.gif
I said no. End of discussion.
โ†“
d0f7e214-2576-4170-90c4-0537810b6144.gif
Now you're just gonna have to find some other way to amuse yourself.
โ†“
e79b6d96-db53-4537-9be7-625e1d80eb2f.gif
I don't understand it.
โ†“
04f7d9a9-71b2-43cb-930c-fb79cea4fcd0.gif
I told all of the guests
โ†“
1460eef7-02c5-455f-9dce-cff954a09273.gif
about my Hayride for Lovers on Friday night, and no one signed up.
โ†“
07f0c1a7-1723-4863-8e6e-c9985334eeb3.gif
Most of the guests have children.
โ†“
90842d59-75ed-4159-93ea-9048158dc1db.gif
They can't just abandon them to go on a couples-only hayride.
โ†“
d71b9552-fa26-4bf9-a2fc-9c570c0d5ce3.gif
We're only allowing couples. Well, then there, there is the solution.
โ†“
6cd66492-d605-4388-b5c1-2a9ebb17f923.gif
We will start a child-care center.
โ†“
a2ceac33-b5ba-4275-b338-d8ff460fac36.gif
- Ooh. Otto, I don't think-- - It will be wonderful.
โ†“
7b9a1ff6-2e41-453b-bcfc-fbab8fe851a2.gif
We will have posture contests, and I can show them slides
โ†“
d3bc738e-41e8-484c-8f6b-c49902f30913.gif
of my childhood in postwar Germany.
โ†“
db0b211c-bd05-4016-8409-37b32daf9284.gif
They will love it.
โ†“
e7766813-3228-40f9-bfc1-a4f009b82451.gif
As great as that idea is, I wouldn't set my heart on it.
โ†“
18c638af-8f3e-447c-81b7-19f40a195d67.gif
People came here to spend time withtheir families.
โ†“
37fefc2a-4aa4-46e7-b6f0-14e3c912eabb.gif
They're not gonna dump their children the first chance they get.
โ†“
99b1e01c-c49d-4443-a592-61cf78d3afea.gif
Can we leave them overnight?
โ†“
601e8f77-8cd5-4cdd-b5c3-878df083b7c7.gif
And the delivery's on time? Good. I've got a lot of hungry customers.
โ†“
31023816-d5ec-4ad5-8f4c-8d75f1fe6a28.gif
Hey, Christie, I didn't see you. Are you ready?
โ†“
f951f355-91cb-4fbc-8e22-60d8c0cbec6a.gif
You're gonna be surprised by how much ice cream I can eat.
โ†“
79b64d0b-89ab-439e-b98b-ec5cde17471b.gif
Look, Reese, you know, we got coffee, and we saw a movie, and we went skating.
โ†“
e5d11148-9493-4257-b2d5-6c8fd713cc4e.gif
I thought hanging out with you would involve a little more partying.
โ†“
5b5ef411-bb5a-45fb-a23b-74b4fce3e62c.gif
Don't you have like a friend or maybe someone you know of,
โ†“
1702b3f2-287b-44fe-b6b7-1c167e28a852.gif
or someone you heard rumors about that could help us out?
โ†“
ef06f082-17b0-46d7-9a94-4e29e32abff9.gif
I gotta trust somebody before I party with them.
โ†“
ffa4e5a7-a3a6-4e44-8dbb-6bbd14fd5890.gif
You trust me, don't you?
โ†“
bcfcf359-664b-4c63-af9e-02f354036e20.gif
Not yet, but there must be some way a hot girl like you
โ†“
82f9230d-8545-4a63-bb39-60606044523c.gif
can get a desperate guy like me to trust you.
โ†“
e0204fd2-3e18-4c59-8191-3f41f4c0a887.gif
Why don't we park by the river and see if we can think of something?
โ†“
31bfbdf0-ed69-4222-ac81-ece5f3df2fea.gif
I hope you weren't hunched over like that during your interview.
โ†“
41e3c84e-3afb-482e-a7c9-959cdc02c715.gif
Why didn't you talk about your extracurriculars?
โ†“
33727f75-96a2-4053-a5ca-792ab04c293f.gif
How do you know what I said?
โ†“
02d78f94-a61a-452c-8e31-818a28a15855.gif
- Did you press your ear against the door? - You should be less concerned
โ†“
582326c2-66c1-4802-952d-cde90fe2d1c9.gif
about what I did and more on your own performance.
โ†“
a912a015-3547-44cb-9585-9be162fe70dc.gif
And next time say "bless you" when he sneezes.
โ†“
f012581d-2c78-471d-b0fa-441a3a756ed5.gif
These people are looking for any excuse not to like you.
โ†“
5c051a06-95f7-4dfb-a328-fa12fe0a6d34.gif
All right, 230.
โ†“
4cd13c75-ff60-4393-a411-27c84a375da2.gif
You walked me to my dorm room, you chose my lunch,
โ†“
063b047d-97b6-473b-ad7e-3f0c0693ce54.gif
you tucked in my shirt in the middle of orientation.
โ†“
92917f84-96b9-4611-bd88-ca05bc6ba7e9.gif
- Now will you please just leave? - Why do you wanna get rid of me?
โ†“
c06c1064-674a-488a-8586-ce856d53ae23.gif
I'm supposed to be doing this stuff on my own.
โ†“
f35809b1-3231-4b74-a782-e1cb82070ae3.gif
I'm just here to make sure you do it on your own the right way.
โ†“
10aa2b6c-8198-477b-89d5-9e236d3b9ff1.gif
- Hi. Are you Malcolm? - Yeah.
โ†“
b1fd9597-3b71-4dcc-ab1a-f8984f85be41.gif
I'm Paula. And this is Andrea and Scott. I guess we're all gonna be roommates.
โ†“
cd3051cf-62e0-421b-8f98-645471fb2a67.gif
Cool. Well, I'll put my bags...
โ†“
5d2bf255-dd3a-429f-a411-b6a9655cb182.gif
Excuse me. You mean you boys and you girls are staying in the same room?
โ†“
326f70c3-f6da-4405-8870-b372aab46de7.gif
Yeah. It'll be just like really being in college.
โ†“
8dc8d556-7f06-4496-bbcd-b663df468941.gif
There. Now we'll all have the same version of what happened here.
โ†“
592262d4-3ecd-4fa6-b768-3b5902c0aa17.gif
That's exactly what I would have done, Lois.
โ†“
2fd21564-0260-4e52-9e3b-557e15503643.gif
Yep. Camped out in the room.
โ†“
12cdf779-6c9e-4fa0-a10b-a3874b92a57d.gif
You didn't happen to take the oven timer, did you?
โ†“
39ce0477-98bb-4192-b181-e3f5cf1a49a5.gif
I can't understand this, all week stuff has been disappearing
โ†“
0e13b120-54a5-4d8e-8ec5-5377199f5a34.gif
right from under my nose.
โ†“
d53277aa-bd39-4f4f-b1d3-bf857db4099b.gif
Well, it's like I put something down, and then it's just gone.
โ†“
51951d0c-cb51-437f-9540-0e0365e68c36.gif
No, it's not anything worth stealing.
โ†“
992719d6-5775-431d-b76f-9419dd9ec253.gif
It's as if someone is trying to make me crazy on purpose.
โ†“
1a5de9ef-719a-402c-b10f-20e4f84958e7.gif
Ah, you're probably right. I love you, too. Bye.
โ†“
5c4215ee-4c17-4674-8ee3-8adc794b4c92.gif
What the--?
โ†“
ba58d46b-9c32-423c-bdc9-8026f65468d8.gif
Can I please have some more lemonade?
โ†“
9ed9d120-37f0-43a8-b506-ff0a6180ed67.gif
What a wonderfully polite little boy.
โ†“
bd490903-a176-4474-a696-ba283a0583f5.gif
Please, take a sewing kit und a small moisturizer.
โ†“
d3e2949e-b1d4-45a4-b5ce-7c31cfa37980.gif
Otto, none of the parents showed up for the hayride.
โ†“
2f2f28c3-33aa-4609-8887-44b899703be8.gif
Their kids are here.
โ†“
96163ac5-9ba9-41c7-83fb-a9bd71bdfdd3.gif
It's so weird. Nobody's answering phones. So I went by all their rooms.
โ†“
ab0cdbb3-1ef7-4565-8cf2-b974c93494cb.gif
They all have "Do Not Disturb--"
โ†“
d62d330d-8890-4f67-9953-c9b228adbe89.gif
Oh.
โ†“
6c25a5fd-f4aa-4654-920e-fe53c6cf1910.gif
I guess I better go get a pep talk ready for housekeeping in the morning.
โ†“
18c06f00-a99c-4f95-94eb-176ce229a16c.gif
Mom, what are you doing with my underwear?
โ†“
d17e8482-7c7c-401d-b770-945f37558190.gif
You had it all crammed up there in the corner.
โ†“
b2310035-f069-40e2-8f2d-37a4e24ef592.gif
Wrinkled clothes are the sign of a disorganized mind.
โ†“
7f5a4e6e-b177-479f-a7db-47668c1545d1.gif
So then I took a guided tour of the Plaza de Espana in Barcelona.
โ†“
9d99848b-102b-4f77-95b3-3b94222f1643.gif
I'm not mispronouncing it. That's the way they say it. "Barcelona."
โ†“
13009b73-36f2-4d59-874b-76db764f61ae.gif
That is so interesting.
โ†“
1f20e5f5-b16f-4ece-8071-fed3e3c680d5.gif
- I wish I was more interesting. - You think it would be pretentious
โ†“
9825a845-c3ce-4891-9bed-8365b7e5c87a.gif
to use the word "legerdemain" in a conversation with the dean?
โ†“
2a72afe0-da97-403e-abd8-52d9c3bfa246.gif
What am I saying? Of course it's pretentious.
โ†“
56d7052a-579c-41f0-be78-3117f7915ab5.gif
I'm such a lack wit.
โ†“
18e22484-09c1-421b-8c67-bf8fbd517e54.gif
Relax. If you can't be pretentious in college,
โ†“
a1aaecac-ee38-4c5e-a036-8b811c7d7ad6.gif
- where can you be pretentious? - Really?
โ†“
2b8083e0-f665-42e1-a5cf-53e15a123446.gif
When I get to college, it'd be okay if I called myself Antigone?
โ†“
81b98f9a-c8ad-45ca-b95e-683c40065701.gif
Of course.
โ†“
95b57673-4c07-4f2e-84ed-306d1a0a82e0.gif
All right, kid, here's the deal, my name is Leland.
โ†“
413bf315-e172-453e-907f-5d3a711edb89.gif
More importantly, I'm the RA, which stands for Resident Advisor,
โ†“
0a3e364f-03ae-4764-972f-0c4675e88ec5.gif
which means I'm in charge of this floor.
โ†“
62028f84-54e8-4a05-8fbb-7929fd7b83da.gif
So you're gonna have to keep the music down.
โ†“
5bd3b42b-4e50-4b12-af7f-3b149a6e0139.gif
Is it really that loud?
โ†“
2749e913-5546-4dac-986d-636d5d995961.gif
Listen, guy, I can either be your best friend or your worst nightmare.
โ†“
ce4b8254-2677-4028-af68-a637c68b917a.gif
- Now turn the radio down. - Is there a problem here?
โ†“
33a2dd84-96d0-42dc-8957-a5ee5f8af049.gif
- Who are you? - I'm his mother.
โ†“
9cc36cb5-f873-4d51-9d33-600dc5c7f975.gif
I'm supervising these kids in this coed room
โ†“
9c6785d7-9a86-4c9e-84b9-9578924e4e7e.gif
which I cannot believe your school condones.
โ†“
edaa247e-7a02-4bb8-bb11-cb633f0fde5b.gif
You know, ma'am, that's not what I'm here about.
โ†“
94e579ac-8bfa-461b-a0d3-c10f3b5572ff.gif
That radio is at least five dBs above the approved noise level.
โ†“
2c201caa-23fa-4af6-a076-80262d05be7e.gif
I'd hate to have to confiscate it or move on to more serious consequences.
โ†“
acb43571-be50-4cd8-a5f0-4a804e9d6de8.gif
You know what, Leland? I've been to college.
โ†“
8238ee19-5b91-417f-8df2-87886950b37d.gif
I know exactly how much power and authority an RA has. Good night.
โ†“
6d04ee32-7a51-4dc9-b1cb-0df6665867f0.gif
- Wow. Malcolm, your mom is awesome. - I am so glad you brought her.
โ†“
25265e1b-4d6d-4570-8a63-65ddaa903b76.gif
This horn's from Dad's van, and this one's from Mom's car
โ†“
be6f692f-3c86-465c-894b-08653aed42c8.gif
and this one's from the ice cream truck.
โ†“
b084131e-9b42-4839-ac1f-0c78c303dc1c.gif
Dewey. What are you doing?
โ†“
e9627aed-a37c-474b-bcaa-2eb309ef4361.gif
The spout fell down. I'm fixing it.
โ†“
4f0f28a8-ced7-438c-93bd-f321fcfe95b3.gif
Good boy.
โ†“
f933a43b-d36f-48b0-a0c6-d34b84d8de0c.gif
Listen, I talked with Mrs. Hiddleman down the block and she said
โ†“
0be697e8-f151-4756-ba79-24ec4e296f5a.gif
that if you want, you can use her piano.
โ†“
eed15bc8-6f78-42d8-a108-5e5604a957d6.gif
Thanks anyway, Dad, but I found something else to amuse myself.
โ†“
4b37ffe7-5268-4cc6-b0d0-1077e522350e.gif
Oh. Well, good. Hey, have you seen my hair dryer?
โ†“
ba8316b7-4e17-419f-9368-f193aa7021f5.gif
I swear, it's like stuff is just getting up and walking off.
โ†“
dcd37b71-d0b8-4388-bc4c-f373ad795344.gif
Either that or someone's messing with me.
โ†“
2abfe2a4-11ac-4c61-a91b-67c80310be24.gif
Dad, I think I figured out what's going on.
โ†“
56156d36-293e-4ab1-a4a5-abd96c535bf8.gif
Somebody's sneaking into the house and stealing stuff.
โ†“
707c5736-d765-45e5-a033-2f0349444939.gif
Probably punks.
โ†“
ce594c83-8718-4204-83f8-dd96da150390.gif
No, not punks, son. Just good kids who got lost along the way.
โ†“
084447d7-ee3c-41c1-aab5-efea0d646595.gif
Either way, they're going down.
โ†“
ac3f4d5a-539c-4f58-8810-edbc1015a823.gif
And then the priest said, "Those aren't my galoshes."
โ†“
244fceff-994e-473f-bb59-863f340a9c31.gif
Mom is actually letting me walk all the way to the vending machine
โ†“
2a7605f0-505d-405f-8f69-d0e4c3780467.gif
and back without tying a string to my waist.
โ†“
30d4ee64-00ec-4847-8e73-ac71440ae385.gif
Ha. This moment is almost as sweet as the candy you can't have.
โ†“
fcdb0179-4cdc-451a-a22e-acaf52d34100.gif
Wow.
โ†“
c0b6755d-5e2b-4a47-94c9-37fd5fc2d5e5.gif
Denied candy.
โ†“
106fd3d9-a6ac-4864-8f1e-a88d5d80ef11.gif
If I were 12 years younger, I guess I'd cry.
โ†“
b83d83af-d24b-45a6-8416-8407e76d893d.gif
What's going on out here?
โ†“
f00bac94-3a68-4616-b9a1-12a69f561ead.gif
Oh, God, no.
โ†“
f383ad97-2f64-4bbf-bbda-27ead8967aba.gif
The snack bar is closed.
โ†“
604f495a-22b9-4fac-bc60-b29e5edb0c28.gif
You're denying my son candy?
โ†“
d9ed9cf9-cd36-4a44-8d6a-86cd33297ce0.gif
It doesn't matter. I'll go down to the next floor.
โ†“
28b57e98-bccd-43a0-9aee-62fb0a0eeec8.gif
Use of the vending machine is a privilege, not a right.
โ†“
5eedd132-5ef5-4c6d-a94e-45c61ef7d8c2.gif
If my son wants a candy bar, he can have a candy bar.
โ†“
e321cad1-a115-4ba8-98bd-45c0161f06b8.gif
You don't get to decide for him. I get to decide.
โ†“
22940276-58b9-4e65-a50b-623f65a138f6.gif
Do I even need to be here for this?
โ†“
e92c7c2a-da0c-4ed4-9896-f1befcb0d8cf.gif
Since I'm the one with the key to the lock,
โ†“
fcd2759d-dbcc-4c20-8acc-56d3693c7fe8.gif
I thinkI'm in charge.
โ†“
101172e7-7de4-4012-bf56-b349e9c66e3a.gif
Come on. This isn't over yet.
โ†“
562ee464-0328-456b-bcc6-0c7e5ecb162e.gif
Mom, why don't you just put me in a diaper?
โ†“
8ba6b2a2-5aec-4908-8148-3a2012b764cc.gif
One thing at a time, Malcolm. First, we're going to get you that candy.
โ†“
92a34068-ff52-4125-ab5f-e1422c91e5d5.gif
And my parents they just drive me crazy.
โ†“
4200f971-95c0-492b-8a4c-6b94ea768e3a.gif
I just need to ditch reality and escape sometimes.
โ†“
63f3e99d-4120-4aba-9ab0-7fa02a74bf32.gif
You know what I mean?
โ†“
d5a0f82a-e88c-4ae0-988c-801c499f8d2f.gif
Look, Christie, here's the thing.
โ†“
1a6fa221-18d3-4e94-87b7-04e9eff00276.gif
When I first met you, I was just messing around,
โ†“
0d080629-723f-4426-9ad4-5f3bb6ce04b0.gif
but we've gotten so close that now, I really like you.
โ†“
fdbb71bd-64a0-4fad-8cb7-f9c5c099116a.gif
I can't keep this up anymore.
โ†“
7b7f1549-e130-4da2-b8a6-4b4de2f11738.gif
What do you mean?
โ†“
c7aad725-25e6-4ee1-b7d8-c77fb433eea8.gif
I'm not the person you think I am.
โ†“
72fa68dc-8613-452f-a46f-e45541c9f041.gif
I've been pretending since the day I met you.
โ†“
042ea03e-d4a1-40c1-9c45-1ba08d47ee28.gif
It's so hard having to constantly cover my tracks to keep my story straight,
โ†“
e2916241-4657-4c89-9aa3-860e4bec458c.gif
and I don't want to anymore. I'm tired of living this lie.
โ†“
f94106ee-2c7c-4a1b-85f0-19792b236a69.gif
Reese, I think I know your secret.
โ†“
619eed00-1385-4f0e-9c1f-bd381a757d6b.gif
No, actually, you don't. It doesn't matter because I'm done with it.
โ†“
2990805e-48ae-47dd-b4ca-9a123058c013.gif
I'm sorry.
โ†“
8fc9f321-d8ff-4bd4-8b8a-f664871d159b.gif
Did you get all that? Yeah, it looks like he's going straight.
โ†“
17ffba98-9f64-4b3b-8d0e-d8c5fbc7ef04.gif
So if we're going to bust this kid, we better do it now.
โ†“
b7ff65cf-0c45-48f5-a5e8-02b9880a2583.gif
All Malcolm wanted was a candy bar,
โ†“
976aeb92-650b-43ca-b0f9-095bf31d6f61.gif
but Leland put a lock on the vending machine.
โ†“
3b79eb1e-c3c7-4d40-b665-17501d7293b6.gif
- We can't let him get away with this. - I want to go on record.
โ†“
9c820023-6680-421a-8b67-1efd7c6efb67.gif
I hated him first.
โ†“
33083086-ef4e-4c63-aa05-36bed2c76769.gif
This would never happen in Barcelona.
โ†“
cf28b91c-2dba-46e0-9c1d-c7492a8680fc.gif
Why are Americans so immature?
โ†“
acf6d909-f384-4215-af7f-b6ffb01d41aa.gif
Why don't you just write an angry note or a missive after I get accepted?
โ†“
a0d85b83-972b-412c-89b5-92e06e3ff478.gif
Look, Scott, you'll face jerks and tyrants like Leland all your life.
โ†“
d10c89d7-b6e5-492f-b0af-27e42a31d39d.gif
The sooner you learn how to deal with them, the better.
โ†“
1b339958-07c3-4c51-9d65-8e6e565003c9.gif
And no one's chances of getting into this school
โ†“
100ba444-223d-4cfc-887d-fd3017223069.gif
are gonna be affected.
โ†“
dfa61505-7723-4141-be09-2fb4a2242f67.gif
He is going to hand over that key.
โ†“
1517b256-acf8-4360-91f0-b1fa962eeb4f.gif
- How? - I don't know yet.
โ†“
b2335e1a-70ee-4498-b843-eec25b2c517b.gif
There are plenty of ways to force people to do what you want.
โ†“
a4ce466c-e0d3-47e4-b0e2-92040a7ac85c.gif
You can find something incriminating in their room,
โ†“
f495e6ae-de42-4fba-aa01-26a7c3937d5a.gif
you can get dirt from a bitter ex, or you can make a blanket accusation
โ†“
4167c674-ef50-4167-be0f-5910dbbcdf36.gif
with absolute conviction,
โ†“
ef024ba6-d921-4e6e-81d3-7b8241150a24.gif
and just wait for them to blurt out something.
โ†“
da672c24-fd82-429f-a9c0-ee9ce1a6649e.gif
Wait. You use that trick on me all the time.
โ†“
701235fd-a575-45ab-abf5-d646a600614f.gif
No, sweetie, that's a different thing.
โ†“
4fdbee95-f426-445b-beb3-97e439f49b3a.gif
Now, we've gotta get Malcolm some candy.
โ†“
de798f0e-f304-4cd9-a4f0-2eed25b4ecaf.gif
Well, I guess I'll be cool and popular aftercollege.
โ†“
668d45fa-8c2e-44ec-9edd-e3f9e423d9b5.gif
Dewey?
โ†“
20a22a12-a9c7-4b54-8058-64f459944e29.gif
- Dad, in here, quick! - What is it?
โ†“
4af33d4b-7839-4c07-9a0e-f78a03be8c3d.gif
I just saw someone sneak out with Mom's robe.
โ†“
7438968d-bac4-4aa4-85a2-541ccd629e89.gif
Good eye, son.
โ†“
f5717e09-79c8-49e9-8b2d-d4b3c1df6915.gif
Halt! Halt, you damn punks!
โ†“
ec8150f5-2174-46f5-bf79-edeea28e0c31.gif
Everything is fine. Nothing in here but children enjoying themselves dancing
โ†“
c70af6d7-73b2-4b48-82f5-8d54e60cdb19.gif
and skipping like young lambs.
โ†“
35c88610-915c-4f9a-9ff4-60bf693e6071.gif
Come again soon.
โ†“
bb519f3c-fda2-485b-9fde-106603d6f3e3.gif
Otto, it's Francis, I have the DVDs, let me in.
โ†“
4426a3b3-a98a-459a-8012-aad288821bdf.gif
We have a slight problem.
โ†“
cf1d1cd6-58a8-40b8-b740-e7bce7c5d543.gif
You know how I wanted everything to be special for the children.
โ†“
87929678-7021-4391-acc2-b91fb5881562.gif
So, I went to the store and I got those cookies.
โ†“
67aa0267-f9f7-4957-91e5-3b7f44f350a2.gif
And then I saw this old-fashioned hard lemonade, I bought three cases.
โ†“
2855d887-0b14-4d91-bbeb-673f535b8e66.gif
Hard lemonade? That has alcohol in it.
โ†“
ed82029d-d4cb-4d1d-a31f-5f9736275683.gif
Yes, Francis, Isaid there was a problem.
โ†“
2d739304-4d9e-4533-8925-a5b3decafa48.gif
- Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? - I do!
โ†“
3046a6fa-38d9-419d-bc32-fa8cd5489004.gif
I do!
โ†“
c925c4f3-e80a-44f1-9563-6dac11855baf.gif
Don't tell me to use my indoor voice.
โ†“
9b41fe9c-cd8c-4adb-a54d-e369f5479559.gif
Why don't you use your indoor voice?
โ†“
130dab86-f4b3-41e4-b7d6-3c0a465fe30e.gif
I'm not just saying it, man.
โ†“
acda1f4b-9105-4043-b545-ce48770f0a7c.gif
We should totally have a play date.
โ†“
454b091a-567f-4c09-b625-897ed0764d85.gif
Oh, my God.
โ†“
d74e3ca6-9d78-48aa-ae7a-6a2e26db8ff6.gif
These parents trusted me with their little ones
โ†“
33f3c9af-01ed-4e99-bd68-6cb053f556fb.gif
andI've poisoned them.
โ†“
6fe03254-c2ef-402f-a7cf-2b65d5bc08be.gif
What kind of a monster am I?
โ†“
3b2430a7-1d48-4b77-88d7-d02211502493.gif
Otto, you made an honest mistake, but everything's gonna be okay.
โ†“
62ea2ba4-a318-4d62-8f80-a99c4a35c33e.gif
As long as the kids are here, they're safe.
โ†“
d1b516ed-1b29-4448-a346-4382259ed955.gif
Well, it's a little early for Christmas carols, isn't it?
โ†“
e1a15b44-ab6a-4bac-a136-b6e9376877a6.gif
Leland, I think we got off on the wrong foot earlier.
โ†“
6d4043b4-b71c-4250-a9f2-6923b1269568.gif
Obviously, this job is very important to you.
โ†“
54a4ef67-0829-4ca3-8beb-9a360d37d7f0.gif
Who knows where you could find another that commands respect and power.
โ†“
74f62a4e-713d-4265-9f5f-599a3538fe29.gif
It would be such a shame if somehow you got fired
โ†“
5200e046-2d5d-48ef-9b21-f3947181d8aa.gif
and had to go back home where your older brother and sister
โ†“
89fd19c3-a565-49e8-92ce-f662e86c6cfd.gif
get all the attention thatyou deserve.
โ†“
f67911ba-7f27-4469-968e-c8e794f7119e.gif
Do you really want to risk that for a 75 cent candy bar?
โ†“
6c1557b1-49df-4500-8632-8c36b93a1146.gif
You really have me pegged.
โ†“
203a428a-b0aa-4098-8ff3-e79633774e90.gif
Except for what you're forgetting is, the lower the stakes,
โ†“
c260ef99-1a0c-451a-931e-cff14ca982ae.gif
the greater the thrill from arbitrary exercise of power.
โ†“
9a3fbd83-80c3-4c88-b393-91185ec64c3c.gif
If this were a one-cent candy bar, I'd be on the moon.
โ†“
21380f56-c644-44b3-bf42-cf367d079ce0.gif
I happen to be a control freak.
โ†“
d1b92ee5-8cca-4950-8542-a91663fdf3ce.gif
If you get me fired,
โ†“
045679eb-3231-435a-8cc6-bf7f9f90ab39.gif
I'll find some other job where I can be a control freak.
โ†“
afd6083c-5e82-4b82-a0b5-b9caf29d9c9f.gif
Kinko's is looking for a night manager.
โ†“
f23dd8fd-b154-468c-a28d-ea27f0cd7b9b.gif
Either way, I've already written negative-evaluation e-mails of these kids
โ†“
5da0e0bc-d64f-4b69-a479-0f9806057bd3.gif
to the Office of Admissions.
โ†“
74d2c062-b853-447a-9a7e-4ce79d7d49f3.gif
All I have to do is hit "Send."
โ†“
51511daf-421f-447f-98ce-ade635edf5ac.gif
She overloaded a wall socket, too!
โ†“
82e7fb30-4cf7-4e86-b67b-1c5a28c752c6.gif
We're just like the bulls in Pamplona.
โ†“
8d648897-d25c-425b-b53f-d55f1d3bc352.gif
Now, you.
โ†“
22a31dc3-c8ec-4fee-8599-8b1a755df215.gif
Any freshman Psych major can see it's obvious
โ†“
b224e638-4fbc-41d3-9694-6dab39839651.gif
life didn't pan out the way you thought,
โ†“
726621ba-cc25-483c-82aa-ce88570f7927.gif
so now to make up for it, you have to run your kid's life.
โ†“
dcac674d-bf2f-4a7a-aa44-9988039b2732.gif
I don't know who to root for.
โ†“
0283beda-2acd-4b1d-a7e6-58dd446b1c6a.gif
The simple truth is, you're just too afraid to let go
โ†“
25d237c4-16fa-49dc-b102-18b0e5342018.gif
of the one thing in your life that may be a success.
โ†“
b8a0b2c6-3487-48c4-a3e5-a7721ac1753a.gif
But, hey. You don't have to take my word for it.
โ†“
2dfdd9c5-fdc1-424b-93ed-7b88627336cc.gif
Why don't ask the other mothers and see whatthey think?
โ†“
c9e3e987-710a-43f0-acfd-101ba0557caa.gif
Oh, that's right.
โ†“
b4904300-f0a3-4dfb-8446-fa48d8efcffa.gif
Thereare no other mothers here.
โ†“
b443bd38-90a0-4daf-866b-fb89727c24dd.gif
You just cost this floor their electricity privileges.
โ†“
9bce679f-87c5-4ed8-905b-f100fc0440a8.gif
Mom?
โ†“
2982b96d-c513-473d-bfaf-d181660cdd83.gif
I can't do this.
โ†“
62c55e83-0804-482f-94a5-c48a9e289e01.gif
- What? - I wanted to help you,
โ†“
509e0203-9a44-4f46-86a9-530af9609914.gif
to take care of things for you. But you know what?
โ†“
c1dd3234-e52b-404f-a7d7-8f389a4693be.gif
I'm just not up to it.
โ†“
5655533f-6d5f-4a72-b7b4-98e3807e5dfa.gif
- You should do this on your own. - What?
โ†“
1b2b2ab2-92eb-414b-a1ba-41b4b96e6a1e.gif
It's time for me to step aside and let you handle things.
โ†“
2c69a928-2b6e-423d-960e-d3b7b7e3357b.gif
Malcolm, I know you can do this.
โ†“
9cec2d31-e603-4ee1-880b-81896ba0122e.gif
Unless I missed the sarcasm, I think she meant that.
โ†“
5781dde3-0e99-475a-9bd7-2dcb005ea8f2.gif
I've actually been given permission to run my own life.
โ†“
c1be34ad-d463-475d-8dc2-fd16d955b987.gif
Well, at least get my own candy bar.
โ†“
19f9432b-b1c3-4ff0-9e76-23719d0d9d3c.gif
But you know what?
โ†“
3a6ec27f-caf2-404c-8f75-f25a4913597f.gif
I want that candy bar more than I want my next breath.
โ†“
31119dd8-3e15-494d-a0d5-63fdb6309ba2.gif
I have a plan.
โ†“
ca97e2dc-9b6e-4525-a0ab-fa787d2e5074.gif
Malcolm, what are you doing?
โ†“
a2b6df6b-9851-480e-b4d9-31c996575320.gif
My plan?
โ†“
55dea03a-45a5-4d82-97fa-d2facfaeeffa.gif
Well, get your foot out of the door.
โ†“
6556253e-617b-4e3f-af48-5c0e98a98f98.gif
It's stuck.
โ†“
86a6e1db-c8ae-403b-9b3a-f570ee7eb8c0.gif
By the way, our Madrigal group is having a sing-off
โ†“
80b9045d-6d57-453e-9cf5-8bcfddfef0cf.gif
against Jazzmatazz tomorrow.
โ†“
5386226b-f340-48ae-acf3-4bd3415dae42.gif
You should check it out before you leave.
โ†“
d718f77a-b842-4b65-8102-144884c1dbf5.gif
All right, Jamie.
โ†“
0e30b83e-b69f-49fa-934a-cfc75fbb34df.gif
This'll put a stop to all the stealing.
โ†“
65aaee9c-a60b-428f-810c-899c48147200.gif
And your father is a reasonable man,
โ†“
ae89b47a-74c5-4314-b13b-9fbc8b83f09f.gif
but sometimes even he can be pushed too far.
โ†“
205e96b8-df9b-45df-8cb6-5c3cd49ee011.gif
You don't poke the bear.
โ†“
dc0296fd-e322-41a8-9f7d-6c6e629ae63b.gif
Police! Nobody move!
โ†“
41ba46d3-9e22-4682-a0ea-4c44952ee76d.gif
We have a warrant to search these premises on suspicion of possession of narcotics.
โ†“
072c2c6d-8367-4217-93bf-274ec228119e.gif
- Nice. - Narcotics? What are you--
โ†“
9ae3ced4-64db-430b-9784-f34014d1ff46.gif
Sir, we need you to remain calm, and we'll get through this as quick as possible.
โ†“
9b61d95c-2f05-4a4c-8c77-3ad4a6de7bfc.gif
Weren't you Annie Oakley in the school play?
โ†“
cac40b53-fc8c-467a-9d97-48996026e2af.gif
Yeah, but I wasn't very good.
โ†“
e31bca0d-e482-40f6-a302-c4ee5a707a66.gif
My stuff!
โ†“
142b4fba-3305-45eb-bbb4-3a3c65b7cb15.gif
Oh, my God.
โ†“
f64ad403-fbc3-4666-bc9d-52c6229e54c3.gif
All this time, you were just using me to get to my dad?
โ†“
4e1d43ae-8d59-4296-a59e-54bb9c80a232.gif
And all this time you were selling drugs, and you never even bought us a DVD player?
โ†“
32fa6541-62f4-4d83-bb27-0dc73a5ac946.gif
Get him out of here.
โ†“
8e92611c-8ceb-48a2-963c-b561194b8481.gif
Hey, doctor man.
โ†“
5c9332ae-24ae-4194-83da-d2ef4e93ba1a.gif
It must be great saving people all day.
โ†“
99f8bab6-4633-44c6-8707-975c8d3ac2bd.gif
What do I do?
โ†“
415892a5-5fb8-4dcd-aa32-bace4e169083.gif
Play kickball.
โ†“
645ad45c-303e-4528-a570-f4980c9e6769.gif
They're going to have some spectacular headaches,
โ†“
c7b69812-896b-4038-9ed1-a23767ed4586.gif
but otherwise they'll be fine.
โ†“
62135ece-4f97-4844-ab48-1abb4ca41ff1.gif
That is good news.
โ†“
18b71cb8-a35e-4bec-aeea-2a35107b5567.gif
Thank you for coming out here, doctor.
โ†“
58481635-2c4c-445f-94ef-d32da3c72e8e.gif
I don't say anything about this,
โ†“
49f5d8b0-98b5-4e67-98f4-bb9a6a61405c.gif
you don't say anything about the keys I left in your gallbladder.
โ†“
11860c3c-896d-48bb-8da5-3c970c0fc884.gif
Deal.
โ†“
1ddc9e44-4b39-4028-8d31-c273f7d2d0b7.gif
So, what are we gonna do about the parents?
โ†“
79e2230f-b0a8-404b-b783-ee55036d0f36.gif
Come on, honey, it's time to go back to the room with your wonderful,
โ†“
e63d59ac-dc7d-41f0-baa9-6a32c785f43a.gif
wonderful father.
โ†“
69af6094-ceae-42fe-bac5-a2faf39595bb.gif
Thank you so much.
โ†“
fa88f9ea-2713-4f36-b0a8-4b7a8cc01a46.gif
You saved our marriage.
โ†“
20ddd42d-662f-4000-9221-a86939b1b856.gif
I almost forgot she was a woman.
โ†“
6334744e-e7c1-4c65-8134-93991b76b139.gif
- Let's go, son. - Whoa, Dad.
โ†“
c5ea0f37-9d91-4e55-a9d0-b52ba3d0a3b6.gif
You want to turn the volume down?
โ†“
7f7ba775-db53-48cf-b49d-f9642fb747a5.gif
It's not a total loss.
โ†“
6753a1ac-f8fa-4346-9410-c772a649c55b.gif
When they took the door off the hinges, they discovered Leland had a hot plate.
โ†“
11c6bd86-f122-4e75-9390-45452db6c807.gif
We all got to watch while they made unplug it
โ†“
6383f75e-7cda-47d3-8954-bf58b34a7ef9.gif
and put it in the closet.
โ†“
ae8c7986-9431-4407-bb9b-421f3c239dff.gif
Don't you worry about it, just be glad this was our safety school.
โ†“
1b6d86cc-90e4-4b37-b9fa-55c03dee8270.gif
When we go to Yale,
โ†“
68e9739f-6f02-41e3-b812-d29faa4c0779.gif
I promise I'll be much more on top of things.