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Malcolm in the Middle

Season 5, Episode 14 โ€” Malcolm Dates a Family

TMDB episode metadata
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Oh, no. Mom and Dad are gonna kill us!
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I know what to do.
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"Get out of our neighborhood. We hate your guts."
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It's either the Lustigs, the Andersons, the Coopers,
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- or the Verones. - It's the Hacketts.
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Like this is gonna bring their cat back to life.
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Let's see how they like a taste of their own medicine.
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I'll get the car.
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โ™ช Life is unfair โ™ช
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All right, all right. Stop it.
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I said I get winner.
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And here's why.
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How was your day?
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Oh.
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Doctor's orders.
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Oh, Alfredo, can you break this for me for the tip, please?
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Excuse me. What's this "SV" at the bottom?
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That's the service charge.
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Service charge? What service charge?
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Forcing people to tip without telling them?
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We've been double-tipping without realizing it all this time.
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That piddly little sign? That's what you use to justify it?
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I think it's gonna be "10-items-or-less aisle" bad.
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Is our car on fire? I think I hear sirens. Let's go.
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Where is the manager?
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I wanna see the manager!
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Don't you give me that look.
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I probably won't see you for a while, Manolo.
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Lo siento mucho.
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And then she stood in the parking lot for half an hour
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waving cars away.
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phoned me drunk...
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on my birthday...
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wanting money.
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I'm sorry, Stevie. I shouldn't complain.
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Your real friends will never abandon you.
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Hey, Angela!
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Yeah, I'm going with that.
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Hello, Malcolm.
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Hi, Angela. I'm glad I caught up to you.
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- I was thinking-- - You wanna ask me out?
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without giving you a gigantic third degree.
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So, why don't you just give up now and let me get on with dying alone?
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You're worried about your family? That's not gonna bother me.
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You are talking to the right guy.
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Francis, I want you to meet Jordan.
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- Your new assistant. - My what?
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Thank you so much for this opportunity.
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Sure. Will you excuse us?
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I don't need an assistant.
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But the boy needs a job,
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and I've filled every other position here two times over.
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Oh, please?
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Francis, I'm sure you can find something for him to do.
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Okay, I'll try.
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Thank you, Francis.
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I know I have a problem hiring too many people,
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but I'm getting help.
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I am seeing three psychiatrists about it.
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I'm starting to forget what Luigi's pizza even tasted like.
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I told you not to brush your teeth.
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Hello. Yes, it is.
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Really?
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Really?
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Yes!
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Boys! Boys.
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It's the owner of Luigi's calling to apologize to your mother.
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Get your jackets.
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Lois! The pizza gods have answered our prayers.
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Hello.
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Hi. This is Lawrence Camprisi, the owner of Luigi's.
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I heard about what happened,
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and I wanted to call personally to apologize.
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Oh. What exactly are you apologizing for?
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About the way that you were treated last Thursday.
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There's no excuse for it.
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I couldn't feel more terrible about it.
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Well, that's very nice to hear.
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I am curious why it took two weeks to get an apology.
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I'm sorry, but I just got in from Europe, and I haven't even unpacked yet.
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The point is that you and your family are valuable customers,
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and we really want to get you back in here.
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Well, I must say, this apology has surpassed
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my expectations.
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So, what kind of refund are you giving us?
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What?
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I figure we overpaid at least $300 over the years.
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Do you wanna send us a check or some kind of gift certificate?
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Lady, we can't give you a refund. We don't have those kind of margins.
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If you can afford a trip to Europe, you can afford 1/20th of that
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to make things right with a customer.
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There is no pizza god.
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Well, then I doubt you care, but we are never, ever,
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eating a Luigi's pizza again.
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At least we have closure.
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Okay, you asked for it. Don't say I didn't warn you.
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Look, I'm fine. I--
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This is my mom, my dad, my nana,
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Aunt Layla, Aunt Svidmella, Uncle Zach,
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Nick, Max, and Alexandra.
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The rest are in the den.
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This is Malcolm.
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Welcome.
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Sit. Sit.
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So, you want to marry my daughter?
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What?
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I couldn't resist.
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I'm sorry to put you through all this,
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but our family is very protective of our little Angela,
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and we need to know what kind of boy you are.
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Well, uh...
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I'm just normal.
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I go to Angela's school.
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I get good grades. Uh...
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I have a job three days a week at a drugstore with my mom.
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Um...
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Never had a cavity.
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Did have all my shots.
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Religiously, I guess I would classify myself as a hopeful agnostic.
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- I think the basic philosophical-- - Can we stop this?
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Look, he's a genius.
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He's the smartest kid in our whole school by, like, a lot.
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Really? Genius?
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Say something smart.
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Well, I'm doing a paper on cosmological inflation.
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It's a theory that says the reason the universe is so homogeneous
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is that right after the Big Bang, there was a short period
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of even more rapid growth than usual.
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I hope you mentioned the importance of scalar fields
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to the whole concept of symmetry breaking.
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Not to brag, but I did some pretty important work on this.
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Oh, please, until they actually find a Higgs particle,
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it's all just empty speculation.
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Yes, dear.
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Women.
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I'm okay with him. You okay with him?
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- Nana? - Eh.
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She loves you!
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Come on.
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We're gonna see how much a boy your age can eat.
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And there'll be singing.
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And I have to warn you,
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we're very big Botticelli players in this family.
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How's your medieval history?
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Okay, I guess.
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Malcolm's on my team!
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- One sugar, just the way you like. - Thank you, Jordan.
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- Francis? - Hi, honey.
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I just got off the phone with my mother.
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She sounded really upset that you didn't send a thank-you note for Christmas.
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I mailed it yesterday, sir.
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You sent a tasteful card with a pressed wildflower inside.
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I think you owe someone an apology.
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He's good.
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Allow me, sir.
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Hal, boys, dinner!
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- What's this? - It's Family Fiesta Night.
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I went to Mariachi's.
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I got four kinds of enchiladas, steak and chicken tacos,
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and a tray of empanadas.
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Malcolm!
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No, no, are you kidding?
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I had a great time.
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Wednesday? Yeah, absolutely.
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All right, bye.
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- Who was that? - Angela's dad.
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What's going on?
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Isn't this fun?
fun
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You're right.
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We don't need music.
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We have chips.
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And the important thing is that we're all together enjoying some family time.
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So, let's talk.
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Who's got a good story?
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Well, today, my mom lost her mind.
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- Reese. - Look, I went to a lot of trouble here.
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And I know you boys like this stuff, so...
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what's the problem?
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Mom, any way you dress it up, it's not Luigi's.
โ†“
094c9bed-29ab-49a4-9354-c4aa32546cee.gif
Luigi's pizza wasn't the point. The food is not what matters.
โ†“
f9d9b18a-f8d5-4e68-9e4f-017290967435.gif
What matters is that we're sitting here together
โ†“
eafedce0-2088-476c-8af8-1c1e75bbb75f.gif
enjoying each other's company.
โ†“
bb75a1c9-7836-4d54-a18b-804fcf2c0cee.gif
If you believe that, why'd you buy all the Mexican food?
โ†“
6c50e74f-6104-4877-958e-2e9b28771d33.gif
Fine. Mexican food goes in the trash!
โ†“
99c6bb99-0186-4815-9631-5fce8876010b.gif
Olรฉ.
โ†“
5b92e43c-be61-4fbd-a389-cba37e3d1e58.gif
No, I am not Copernicus.
โ†“
9a89af77-b4de-43b3-b699-5187d817fc88.gif
Did you isolate something which eventually killed you?
โ†“
569e2328-5d39-4303-8285-0453e13f8d6e.gif
No, I am not Madame Curie.
โ†“
dbe068d5-fe0c-4842-b310-a2862cea529a.gif
- This is so cool. - Yes.
โ†“
0089b8fd-1bfd-4d3a-b33b-4c7123542926.gif
When we play at my house, we can only use cartoon characters.
โ†“
350c0101-a369-4d3b-a349-8cd305a35592.gif
Cartoon characters we saw that day.
โ†“
b468cf78-5808-49c7-b31a-84940e0c4c74.gif
Okay. Do you believe in life after love?
โ†“
79dc195e-f91a-4270-bf91-dae61181cbec.gif
No, I am not Cher.
โ†“
2a60f32e-b9aa-45e9-9757-f34fe8c1b880.gif
We'll never beat him.
โ†“
ca236a6f-c897-4803-9a76-13e364d7dfd2.gif
You baked brownies?
โ†“
e8886ff5-7374-4971-81a9-cdf3f5970df0.gif
With walnuts. Your favorite.
โ†“
76278bd9-dde6-44cc-b55f-3059e3a5b2a3.gif
You made this for me?
โ†“
e14f6229-825a-4a88-9c15-fdca6699e426.gif
This is awesome.
โ†“
e20f9ac4-111a-42dd-adae-fac4278bef41.gif
This is so much fun.
fun
โ†“
e898b348-455e-47fb-88a7-125b3e726ea9.gif
I love dating Angela.
โ†“
12839c09-2d6f-4fb5-a973-4e24b09fa5e3.gif
Where is Angela?
โ†“
a9a69b8b-8623-4ba4-9ca2-ef1e14611066.gif
She went over to a girlfriend's house an hour ago.
โ†“
79389f94-c110-4051-b5df-bc3f8a0938ed.gif
Oh.
โ†“
dd8bf925-4f2c-420d-ad69-0db50944fe03.gif
Okay.
โ†“
4f98302b-1a74-470d-8568-d294429976de.gif
Are the smaller ones better, sir?
โ†“
783389d5-e0ce-4df8-b8e7-d01277416bbe.gif
Very much, thank you.
โ†“
61c73dfd-4df0-4ad6-b69f-6ddbe63eafa4.gif
I don't have to open my mouth as far.
โ†“
7ce9601c-da71-4431-8118-6eeba83ddb9e.gif
What were you saying, Mom?
โ†“
f8649d1b-5a55-491c-acf3-4e9dcbdbb230.gif
They have been tacking on this 15 percent service charge
โ†“
c724f925-9021-4114-a3c6-9a2e6e602c23.gif
for the last three years.
โ†“
927d5868-f854-481d-b82d-84ca421cc117.gif
I mean, I'm doing the right thing by boycotting them, don't you think?
โ†“
58960205-8358-4b90-a22c-a67e86e50c53.gif
It sounds like you're making everyone else suffer
โ†“
75b99ce1-eeee-408b-aff2-9a20874a6c68.gif
for something only you care about.
โ†“
5aeebde1-aaa7-4785-a5e5-6448151fbd0f.gif
I don't know why I bother to talking to you, Francis.
โ†“
0da3bdef-b32c-4ab2-b811-9948bf70bf54.gif
Would it kill you to say something supportive to me when I'm obviously right?
โ†“
89769975-66d8-4400-a567-fcf5743a5bb3.gif
You're blaming me? You know what...
โ†“
45fc5fb7-1681-469b-bff3-3cdd74a42364.gif
If you were so certain you're right,
โ†“
3cad6ce7-6163-4d72-a38c-abf72ef5a915.gif
you wouldn't be coming to me for reassurance.
โ†“
be0f6af9-0f4e-4074-acc6-24a7593f9e2d.gif
If you were so certain you're right,
โ†“
f666f674-43aa-48e8-8496-8c1857354cb9.gif
you wouldn't be coming to me for reassurance.
โ†“
f0f382a2-59a8-4ef6-886e-a052d99fc7a3.gif
Uh...
โ†“
87200de4-78f9-4348-a507-0b06f99f52c2.gif
I think we got her, sir.
โ†“
816b1789-aeee-4922-9bae-fbe62ffa7d30.gif
Let's not dwell on our victories, Jordan.
โ†“
fae97855-3758-414b-8306-f27f6ac943b4.gif
My ears are feeling hairy again.
โ†“
8b5624d6-9263-4f60-99e3-018326dc8c8f.gif
I thought I would never smell that again.
โ†“
597abaac-60a6-45bb-8d9e-f1bb2e9116f3.gif
Mom's not coming home for two hours.
โ†“
78da72b4-ab4d-45b2-972b-b9c3894f3dd5.gif
That gives us plenty of time to eat it and destroy all the evidence.
โ†“
133ac622-012f-4847-b4fe-64598a11a493.gif
But I wanna be clear on this.
โ†“
56647944-ded9-475b-bbeb-729c50c9ae8b.gif
What we are doing here is not okay.
โ†“
39befa1d-fb6e-4098-b9f6-a205d7a5f48a.gif
It is morally reprehensible on every level.
โ†“
159fc768-f96b-4f08-afe9-8c801219f0d1.gif
We should be ashamed.
โ†“
24ed2519-e6c6-4c6f-a25d-e0ff0e8b05c1.gif
Yeah, yeah, yeah, we hate ourselves.
โ†“
ae1f2cbe-4119-4f4d-aea0-5cbf63f89b88.gif
Now, remember, boys, whatever happens, we are all in this together.
โ†“
c943a0c1-437f-42d5-a889-9af0122d7eba.gif
- Where's Malcolm? - He's at his other family.
โ†“
5f8557a7-1530-4c69-83a6-7286fa2f1072.gif
More for us.
โ†“
7a67814d-6666-4a5a-94f8-2c38d359b234.gif
I can't believe how much we ate.
โ†“
07690070-18d3-46f3-aa77-afe940d74f3f.gif
I can't believe how good it tasted.
โ†“
903c0fbc-7d59-4584-9921-356e1684d33d.gif
That was the taste of evil, son.
โ†“
839b6d44-8e95-40a1-ad93-6e5d3ab8ccd6.gif
Gooey, delicious evil.
โ†“
6f6f092e-7150-4bab-8f60-eb1afa9df479.gif
I know I gotta cover my breath,
โ†“
725b6753-f0d7-47c1-b343-11cffa5f3a9b.gif
but the thought of even eating
โ†“
829f1fc7-c681-4760-8b03-273f4faf15fe.gif
this breath mint just makes me wanna throw up.
โ†“
4f710153-4e6b-46b5-b353-3394fa273c7f.gif
We forced ours down.
โ†“
66e78a62-ec48-4274-8e85-bb8a78050b89.gif
Hey, everybody!
โ†“
3ce7025a-51d6-44fc-8a94-e02c80659147.gif
I got dinner!
โ†“
16d6b8f6-9e07-426d-985b-6d0398cfbb00.gif
It's from the Pizza Connection.
โ†“
d4084169-7ccf-40e8-8eb3-3a98d09398b3.gif
I had to drive all the way across town to get it,
โ†“
ff395b83-fa42-422e-88ac-61526f0cb8e2.gif
but I figured I owe you boys something nice.
โ†“
939a99d4-5725-441f-af84-2e77b2901eed.gif
I know how hard it's been going without Luigi's,
โ†“
6db532d0-c43a-45c6-93a9-dfa5bdcbe1d2.gif
and it means a lot to me that you're backing me up.
โ†“
38f46393-d3c5-4ae9-9601-90d367fb09b5.gif
There's cheese inside the meatballs.
โ†“
8714f65f-1807-4faf-947e-67eaf2727b0f.gif
I never saw people get so passionate
โ†“
cd6b0661-6f0e-4154-bfaa-6e33da7dedf2.gif
about the Copenhagen interpretation of quantum theory.
โ†“
f7a7498f-1c0f-4101-9b5c-0d20069d8a35.gif
I thought Nana was gonna punch somebody.
โ†“
b814c04c-6fd1-4607-8cd6-b18b845826c6.gif
We had so much fun last night.
โ†“
8a264407-0c82-480d-bb36-6d1261fad18d.gif
I watched...
โ†“
da1a2c3e-a2d1-480f-999c-96d33eb34a8f.gif
Dad torch...
โ†“
9ef5b534-24e6-4453-a7ca-8cc5975a598e.gif
his wedding album.
โ†“
cb0c0025-a9f3-445d-8f3e-399f8dd5e4d4.gif
Hey, Malcolm.
โ†“
04afcbbd-ffb6-4e1d-9a2a-04db0ce3b196.gif
- Hey, Sarah. - I just wanted to ask
โ†“
251010ad-4a1b-4488-9ffb-8862ed7aacfd.gif
if you wanna go to the Spring Dance with me.
โ†“
1ce9864d-c8e9-418f-9579-d25624a92412.gif
I know it's kind of late.
โ†“
dfbf861c-dab2-454b-8da4-94c8bd6a22b9.gif
Oh, wow, I'd love to.
โ†“
23b3f80d-8eea-4d6a-a889-c3b5925c8342.gif
- Great, so, I'll see you Friday? - See you on Friday.
โ†“
7ceeff50-ce75-4f53-8b09-b4fa773a3466.gif
Isn't it great when the girl asks the...
โ†“
88fa1302-557b-462d-ad57-7e223500bb1a.gif
Angela.
โ†“
c67b98dd-771b-43f4-9c23-49f8a05c8ea6.gif
I totally forgot.
โ†“
82f2a18b-dc37-4bcb-9abb-44a59ffbb534.gif
Oh, man. I've got two dates to the Spring Dance.
โ†“
f6de6f5c-9bf3-4398-a5e1-dd15c096f3f2.gif
It's sort of like that old episode of...
โ†“
92ff7f95-7a79-4c85-9b9a-e7de18c6775c.gif
well, every show.
โ†“
d72f9d00-659c-45e3-9508-f26d23e41cb4.gif
If you think about it, it's actually a pretty interesting challenge.
โ†“
4dac1891-6496-4750-8285-ab5804324ec9.gif
Urkel did pretty well with the identical cousin trick,
โ†“
76f2612c-53a2-421b-a322-77cc90e3f63d.gif
until he got greedy and made himself a duke.
โ†“
0caef604-3c61-4f9d-ac5d-acc916f47a6d.gif
Potsie doesn't count because one of his turned out to be a dude.
โ†“
c0b8ac96-1078-4c22-8bb7-9aa2555ad392.gif
Stevie, are you even listening to me?
โ†“
0ae4f8c7-7094-4a33-a399-9ac486e243b0.gif
Two girls.
โ†“
a79a3f07-32b1-4abf-baaf-a709ac510349.gif
Two families.
โ†“
0ebd3e7c-e145-4d25-8e9d-1a8a9168e484.gif
I don't have
โ†“
f17ab2a6-25e0-437d-894b-97f8d07f0695.gif
two lungs.
โ†“
d1d8165f-d34d-43e5-b3f0-65a8e9a38ff4.gif
- What does that have to do with--? - People with your luck
โ†“
9b093ec0-d9ea-43e4-afb8-07a2ce065d8b.gif
aren't allowed to be creeps.
โ†“
df87632b-733b-4dd4-a54c-dda841c2eade.gif
Just choose.
โ†“
01b0b61e-1e97-4851-8d98-29ab81718b27.gif
Yeah, all right.
โ†“
9d263ffd-a896-4928-99df-dc5f326d7ce4.gif
Okay, it's 7:35.
โ†“
1a2aec0f-4af0-4f8d-b7f9-69e0b724b2b9.gif
It's a five-minute bike ride to Luigi's, it'll take you one minute to order,
โ†“
4f8a3e70-56a7-4e2d-b238-b4a9f2876a89.gif
which means they should hand it to you at 7:56.
โ†“
109c19c6-0d62-4af6-b662-8f9c7c205748.gif
I'll send your mother to the mall at 7:50. We destroy the evidence before she's back.
โ†“
9c2eda1f-c6b6-48d5-b0ac-03b5a74cd944.gif
- You know, we're gonna pay for this. Big. - Yeah.
โ†“
7019d92d-2f4d-4ff4-b367-fdb5066150e1.gif
But we're not gonna pay today.
โ†“
96a73e6d-1a8e-4d5b-935d-7286d1425598.gif
Whatever else it's done to me,
โ†“
b831e993-b11c-4079-aaf0-a96d428c213a.gif
this conspiracy has made me feel so close to my boys.
โ†“
fc3d6b69-22f1-420e-a5be-968e9b480da5.gif
- Except for Malcolm and Jamie. - They're not like us.
โ†“
829430bc-6900-4863-a622-a9e9e6ff9b52.gif
Now go!
โ†“
9de78a1a-fd81-49cf-846e-50bb05b03f86.gif
Hey, honey.
โ†“
8d431f76-49a1-49f7-8656-9b423cd6ed33.gif
What are you doing? Are those car keys?
โ†“
99c735c2-f92e-4379-a351-7d0c93eb3129.gif
I'm going down to Luigi's.
โ†“
02470fc5-2fe1-4023-9537-029c35822c4b.gif
- What? Why would you do that? - I'm giving up.
โ†“
877a07d0-50ef-4841-b60e-7854fcc6e5fa.gif
I've inflicted this on all of you long enough.
โ†“
8675fdeb-bba6-4f5a-884d-53224e4df81c.gif
I'm gonna go down, I'm gonna walk up to the counter,
โ†“
72d9e3d9-fcf5-4b5c-b8a4-43e62bd210d6.gif
and I'm gonna do right by my family.
โ†“
1833b5c9-c3e3-4df7-be79-bd7e803549c9.gif
Over my dead body.
โ†“
88cb94bd-d999-4cfd-9c10-fc18db76e26e.gif
- What? - You can't give up now.
โ†“
86a7eaa2-6d59-40c7-9983-709e3266dffb.gif
I thought we were a team on this.
โ†“
01396461-607e-4c46-a45a-cf905f555e33.gif
Hal, you've all been wonderfully supportive,
โ†“
5d905f6c-429e-4bd0-b384-c1b007fde7da.gif
but maybe enough is enough.
โ†“
03cd56e2-5846-4e91-9371-8f6cf13c6a96.gif
The woman that I love has never thought that enough was enough.
โ†“
a3706a53-a52e-4a17-bbf6-9be2263aa591.gif
The woman that I love is not gonna go
โ†“
da60cad7-5039-4276-8c80-fc6b8bd54d59.gif
anywhere near that place in the next hour.
โ†“
7499b06d-9a92-4ac8-9308-55b4e47734aa.gif
We believe in you, Lois.
โ†“
598c5c39-4ee6-4e76-ac52-2913e70fc008.gif
You have got to fight this.
โ†“
9218a2f8-7dea-4fb3-a7a1-c45016ce5b02.gif
Thank you. You're right.
โ†“
88354f8b-5742-4926-8fc6-9b1ab2b4124b.gif
I will.
โ†“
b5e57dcb-aa0f-4336-8c6b-15514ccadc27.gif
Malcolm.
โ†“
908763f9-9b85-4c89-9343-924cfcf0bfa0.gif
Come in. Come in.
โ†“
f97650ed-139d-4883-aa0f-191c9b814e24.gif
Look who's here.
โ†“
86049053-738e-44fd-8b0d-32e49e59d148.gif
Angela, your boyfriend is here!
โ†“
aee02009-6942-40ce-9ec1-f212db5acde0.gif
I put the leaf back in the table.
โ†“
8482a527-cda9-4585-8d7f-ee0e5ded3cfc.gif
We can reenact the battle of Lepanto with olives and celery.
โ†“
6ecd53fb-1fca-4113-9abe-5998e47bbc71.gif
I can't stay.
โ†“
1c7d9498-434b-434d-b20f-851973c89fcd.gif
On Saturday, you and Angela must join us.
โ†“
939394b9-6b1a-4301-af15-66a26eece6d1.gif
The Taiwanese acrobats are in town.
โ†“
8315e809-eeed-4635-b59b-94bb8c47a7de.gif
I don't think I can make it.
โ†“
f822a7a7-023c-443e-a464-a033b70f2edb.gif
Well, you and Angela can join us for movie night.
โ†“
32c119a9-2ea3-4dd6-a00b-960e322e1aab.gif
And I won't take "no" for an answer.
โ†“
722db289-cb96-46a4-8dab-90fa41f3b468.gif
- I can't. - Why not?
โ†“
be6bdd89-0355-4bb6-81d2-616d4435db3c.gif
What's wrong?
โ†“
1493ebd9-1a9c-45de-98a7-b338bf02c9cb.gif
He's breaking up with me.
โ†“
ccc825be-0ca3-4f7e-9398-36bfbae13b13.gif
Which I'm totally okay with.
โ†“
2bc26169-0668-4fd1-92cc-e7a468037aef.gif
We haven't even talked in two weeks.
โ†“
471e83ef-2fcd-4511-b24b-695811958007.gif
What were you saying? Oh, no, it's nothing.
โ†“
21b3fc1b-0613-42ac-a35a-d23fba88807b.gif
You're breaking up?
โ†“
2733ce47-6316-47b5-ba7b-0de200ed1560.gif
Just like that?
โ†“
f64a34c4-149b-49c8-ae89-5f89e4ab3ae8.gif
Yeah.
โ†“
58e5b9c3-7018-47e8-9579-03dbbdd99035.gif
This is really hard.
โ†“
fe36e44b-b38d-48a6-b205-6b393024c0e5.gif
My life is kind of complicated right now, and I just need my space.
โ†“
4dd9f57f-3006-4042-b264-1ac01ce7a69f.gif
But I really want us to stay friends.
โ†“
214f3254-a18b-4fa1-9b59-02ec7c775c55.gif
"Friends."
โ†“
3f58eb85-f349-4918-9f8e-2c1a8be20e98.gif
It's not you. It's me. The past few weeks have been great, but--
โ†“
04f9fa80-b332-453c-a16c-d917fe45ac92.gif
Please. Don't.
โ†“
46e8034e-47c7-4bdd-8523-b0a1ce262e6d.gif
No, really.
โ†“
f3528105-4868-4d5d-adcf-b1a6ffe69021.gif
You know how amazing you guys are?
โ†“
6f78a513-f7eb-48b4-a3bb-089e1185be16.gif
Look, Angela's gonna date a lot of guys.
โ†“
cb7f845c-cccf-428e-acd4-4ba6aff8ed3c.gif
- That are much better than me, and-- - Now you're being patronizing.
โ†“
6037c4d8-c893-43a6-b76d-771ae34c8b23.gif
Just go.
โ†“
1f7eaa92-42d2-4e66-8f44-ab3a6a50bd85.gif
I'll see you around?
โ†“
12d0032c-82f0-4a22-83d7-8729b825885c.gif
We both know that's not how it works.
โ†“
e0117414-513a-4c39-ad4c-03c1e96f5c87.gif
This butter is just sitting here like a cube on my toast.
โ†“
56b913d2-21fd-4eb2-ba69-ed422101ecc3.gif
It's not doing that thing that Jordan does.
โ†“
29a23715-005d-4d5b-8ace-1b72f3e465d3.gif
- Spreading? - Yeah!
โ†“
d96b371e-c47c-45c8-84e4-b26ed9941656.gif
Francis, this has to stop.
โ†“
18aae57b-02a0-4baf-9b38-fddb97f18ac6.gif
I liked the flowers you had Jordan send me,
โ†“
82b48ecc-5b02-4fe2-bbec-09adb051cfd1.gif
and the poem he wrote was very sweet,
โ†“
6cd40d59-37fe-427d-bbf5-18b1d6082b7e.gif
but you're turning into a helpless infant.
โ†“
ad6dc91a-3b97-4f3b-803d-dbf1d2eeb168.gif
If Jordan hadn't wandered in on you in the men's room yesterday,
โ†“
8fac5ed1-d4b5-469a-a5fc-ab323c7e7077.gif
you'd still be stuck in there.
โ†“
e6863b6b-7363-4cce-98b5-5ec8e3d86cf2.gif
I would have figured it out.
โ†“
65b54e75-330c-4d21-90da-50df6c6f0825.gif
No, I wouldn't have.
โ†“
19919c25-e7e0-4343-ba2a-6aa32647663f.gif
You're right. I'll let him go.
โ†“
8051d84b-2712-4f44-85ae-6779c267b4a8.gif
It's for the best.
โ†“
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Jordan, there's something I have to talk to you about.
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- The thing is-- - You need to let me go.
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Well, yeah. And--
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You feel terrible, but you can't keep me, even though I've done an outstanding job.
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- Yeah, I'm-- - Sorry.
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Of course you are. You wrote me a wonderful letter of recommendation.
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Let me thank you for the muffin basket you'll be sending me.
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It's not too expensive, but I will appreciate the thought.
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Goodbye, sir.
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Goodbye.
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It's best to squeeze now, sir.
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Come on. Come on. Sit down.
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Too bad Malcolm's at the dance. He's gonna miss this.
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- What is it? - I was ready to give up with Luigi's,
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and then your father inspired me to take action.
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So, yesterday, I called Clyde on your Side.
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- Who? - You know, that consumer guy on Channel 5.
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They're doing a whole exposรฉ on Luigi's.
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They told me it was gonna be on at 10:23. Oh, here it is.
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This may look like a friendly neighborhood pizza parlor,
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but thanks to an alert tipster,
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we discovered that this hangout
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could be hanging you out to dry.
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Alert tipster, that's me.
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It turns out this eatery
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adds a secret 15 percent service charge to every tab.
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I wanna be clear this does not reflect on the Italian people,
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most of whom are hard-working decent Americans.
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But for the cadre of tricksters here at Luigi's,
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we've got a tip for you:
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clean up-a you act.
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Who are the victims in this scam?
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Senior citizens on a fixed income.
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Local teens after a dance.
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And of course, the biggest price is paid...
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Oh, my God.
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That traitor!
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How could he betray the trust of this family? Especially you, Lois.
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Doesn't he know what you've been fighting for?
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That betrayer.
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Look at him shove that pizza in his mouth right there
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when we have to sneak ours in the garage.
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What?
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This isn't just the sad story of one restaurant's...
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All right, I was saving this until I needed it.
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Dad does a five-minute imitation of you on the toilet.
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I'll show you the videotape if you're willing to deal.
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Turns out, breaking up with Angela was a terrible mistake.
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It's sad.
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Sometimes you don't realize what you had until you throw it away.
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Malcolm.
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Hey.
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What are you doing here?
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I was just in the neighborhood and I was thinking maybe...
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You guys look great.
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This is really awkward.
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Yes, I'm the Earl
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of Sandwich.