โ™ฅ Saved GIFs

Loadingโ€ฆ

View all favorites โ†’

Malcolm in the Middle

Season 5, Episode 6 โ€” Malcolm's Job

TMDB episode metadata
โ†“
8daf999b-2d25-40e5-b656-62918884d5cb.gif
Oh, right.
โ†“
7496656f-d4d5-4c33-bec1-f78d1af1d366.gif
โ™ช Yes, no, maybe โ™ช
โ†“
80302a5b-a248-47c2-aa0b-8dd42aa983c2.gif
โ™ช I don't know โ™ช
โ†“
ea364cef-865d-4929-800b-d5a3ae03da64.gif
โ™ช Life is unfair โ™ช
โ†“
4d2927ea-ba4f-44e3-a210-1b9bf04a9c47.gif
There. That's it.
โ†“
b60af39e-157c-4f04-8f56-c8ad48451ca5.gif
I made your bed every day for a year.
โ†“
3c2624e0-af04-458e-83a2-55e8b7069fbb.gif
Wow, congratulations. I can't believe you actually did it.
โ†“
ad8e23f4-dd0a-4e4f-b6eb-89e9a5684182.gif
- That wasn't exactly our deal, Dewey. - Yes, it was.
โ†“
01725017-919e-491e-9fba-cadea524fc01.gif
You promised that if I did it, I'd get the bed every day after that.
โ†“
5d85c552-6097-42e0-b91c-034293436790.gif
Right, every day, but I still get it at night.
โ†“
7ae0737c-a181-492d-aa43-7260389acdd9.gif
That's not fair.
โ†“
2f0dcc44-7880-4796-bd49-03efe7733adf.gif
I don't know, Dewey. His case sounds pretty solid to me.
โ†“
22580592-0909-4aa2-8b52-e65daa015c98.gif
Oh, here's the flyer for the daddy and child
โ†“
cf1d4377-2fde-47e4-b42f-7f6d5aa6fc6e.gif
class I'll be teaching at the rec center.
โ†“
a0560143-1413-4132-8aab-ffefe281e3e6.gif
Polly, this is the fifth flyer you've given me.
โ†“
14e06d1e-b378-47e0-b661-00318b2f195d.gif
Can't wait.
โ†“
423df0ce-f52b-4e86-bd22-83e586678dec.gif
- Do I really have to--? - Yes, Hal.
โ†“
5887de99-7c72-4b5a-b5c8-937f8e4bc484.gif
Boys, I wanted to talk to you.
โ†“
0512ef28-8991-4eb6-aac1-2000dc72de56.gif
I've got some good news.
โ†“
2bb52111-4021-4ab7-be9b-b12f6e197a85.gif
We're getting a car!
โ†“
328fac2a-7dde-487b-9d2b-99f7d77fdea4.gif
You're both getting jobs.
โ†“
0a7dddee-85d3-4de1-97f1-003ac41ea32f.gif
- What? - What?
โ†“
93e87825-5a62-427a-a2cc-ce08610c15e1.gif
You want me to work at your store?
โ†“
f60eb918-a1cf-4fb9-b654-b344363396a3.gif
With you?
โ†“
d3315394-c562-4774-a051-82781eb830ce.gif
you have to look somewhere else.
โ†“
5982b5b2-949f-431e-a898-8b89be81f048.gif
But I want you in a paper hat by the end of the week.
โ†“
e0f37748-ed5f-4176-8225-1b542cd0eeec.gif
Please don't do this to me. Just let me find my own job.
โ†“
dd60182e-7946-4e73-8ecf-365701b5b0af.gif
Malcolm, it's already done.
โ†“
59918a3a-63d1-4f2c-8d99-d79336c99cda.gif
How is it my commitment?
โ†“
bb99be77-0a94-4557-98f8-24460b9cadec.gif
There's a lot of germs flying...
โ†“
44b1bd8b-c02d-4511-95f0-94d6a03a926b.gif
Dad, Mom has this stupid idea about working.
โ†“
f016896d-a3de-405f-9cb7-4e5aa220a1fa.gif
Ah-ah! That's enough! You heard your mother.
โ†“
1c41d965-007f-40b3-9ada-afe30a65db4c.gif
We have always said you have to concentrate on your schoolwork
โ†“
e301b59c-d949-45a0-9204-e8c07777242d.gif
before wasting your time on dead-end jobs.
โ†“
b0d0ebec-b14e-4bc3-89a2-cb10181b54bf.gif
You have got your whole life to work and only one chance to learn--
โ†“
89fabf9d-2c4c-4da1-a429-8cf923d89b71.gif
I told them to get jobs, Hal.
โ†“
9496bc5e-ba03-4b7f-ab21-ff7b5f76d0e6.gif
the value of hard work.
โ†“
ea6f680b-738c-45a6-ad71-944e8a5496b0.gif
Money doesn't grow on trees.
โ†“
cbba0b61-d4f6-4391-851f-14b3260ad5ba.gif
The sooner you two kids have jobs, the better.
โ†“
ed5b5040-cba0-4c9d-ae71-41f0fab9042a.gif
reaching for unconditional affirmation,
โ†“
2a0da419-76fc-4136-80c2-b70052bdc270.gif
defeating our inner critics,
โ†“
a40c12fc-8e01-430d-8e71-8aeb62f2ad72.gif
and rest.
โ†“
c940fb6a-0ea2-487d-a450-eca5ced11289.gif
See, daddies can be just as good mommies as mommies.
โ†“
a131f552-9378-4ad9-9b06-9928a5044521.gif
Oh, I have to make a quick phone call to the parole officer.
โ†“
8002c757-0596-4bae-bc79-29d865651884.gif
Don't worry, it's not about me.
โ†“
ec87b415-3051-48be-929d-94850b9e2636.gif
It's about one of my dads, but while I'm gone,
โ†“
3d731c65-96ee-4def-8a42-e52711b27b18.gif
why don't you do that "baby-ssage" thing I showed you.
โ†“
10adc8f0-a214-474d-b7f9-3bbf71a26930.gif
Babies feel stress, too.
โ†“
d1e8a910-bd38-4b4d-a19a-55a23248a014.gif
Man, I'm so bored I can feel my own hair growing.
โ†“
90d5fe49-f7cb-421d-970e-7fe7bb22102a.gif
Maybe I should wait a couple years to bond with Jamie.
โ†“
ae0d4bb8-2a79-4bfe-acfd-926139c7bbe7.gif
It's gotta be easier when he can do more than just burble and sit up.
โ†“
cf52c418-e2f2-41e2-b878-1369e780b317.gif
Your baby can sit up?
โ†“
76ee62c5-6f87-4928-99c6-8cc2124efa1d.gif
For how long?
โ†“
1613c6d2-cdae-414f-ab89-eb00854a64c1.gif
I don't know. Ten seconds?
โ†“
34d1c923-a204-4c79-bcd2-cd19ae968aa1.gif
My baby can sit up for 20.
โ†“
f6e7c282-376b-4f26-982b-03af9d9da7b3.gif
Jasmine can do it for 30.
โ†“
fffea51b-453d-426a-85b5-8f0fc2d83617.gif
Oh, yeah?
โ†“
29a7ecbb-1e7f-41e3-b290-2cb3def17464.gif
Do it, Jamie. You can do it.
โ†“
7197dbd7-6fad-4233-abb2-6edcc8cd1944.gif
Do it for Daddy.
โ†“
0a8a9c5a-3cae-4928-ba92-6d9548a1ce7f.gif
Do it for Daddy. Stay up. Stay up. Stay up.
โ†“
2bcd7720-f89c-475b-abae-6580e83ca888.gif
One more. One more. One more.
โ†“
9f63dfbc-5793-4f5d-ad49-9d17ccef22fa.gif
Come on, baby. Come on, baby, you can.
โ†“
0e2aaf0d-f454-42d4-9541-f1fed5bdadce.gif
Yes!
โ†“
beaa13e5-e480-4070-a4f1-6c877fe0bd3c.gif
Way to go, Jamie. I think this belongs to me.
โ†“
500ec9d9-3f36-4279-a67c-03c5447e4eb7.gif
Hello, you've reached The Grotto. Please hold.
โ†“
03280597-5c52-4217-b00b-a4bfe322963b.gif
Hello, you've reached The Grotto. Please hold.
โ†“
8a9e4fa7-05a6-4c86-8769-f6e96bdd5eab.gif
Hello, you've reached The Grotto.
โ†“
182cfb8f-87b5-46c4-a68d-8b0e793f52b0.gif
- You are a terrible brother! - Dewey?
โ†“
852a16d4-be08-49c1-b396-876514f28b11.gif
Malcolm and Reese do nothing but torture me all day long.
โ†“
310bb4c3-2af4-4e12-90cb-480b82e16211.gif
My life is horrible and it's not fair!
โ†“
d12e177b-90da-4114-b8c3-6ef697a72772.gif
- You're not making any sense. - You were nice to them.
โ†“
5632ef0c-bce9-4ca5-a994-e88d839f3de6.gif
But then you got kicked out
โ†“
9700a744-b9c0-49ae-90e5-dc7307c87731.gif
before I was old enough to know what was going on.
โ†“
268bfde0-49eb-48b9-a25e-87e6ceef71ed.gif
So, they got to have a good big brother and all I got was them.
โ†“
5313513a-b017-47b1-ba3f-1e9131a0085b.gif
Look, I'm sorry, okay? I just-- I don't live there anymore.
โ†“
ba72d41b-3012-4235-aa51-fbfe0fd9e5c2.gif
I don't care!
โ†“
831b5162-abfe-424e-9980-e779c41f30d2.gif
You have to make this up to me.
โ†“
bde73a6b-5f40-4f50-a85b-97ea8597c4fb.gif
I deserve a good big brother, too.
โ†“
b7047ffa-f135-434d-b792-107e14a70cfd.gif
I know this is really important to you, but I don't have the time right now.
โ†“
7cca97d7-1325-4ef7-998b-de1a28574002.gif
- I'll call you in a couple days, okay? - No, do not hang up on me!
โ†“
5a3be170-f431-4ffb-8616-a70f8b0dab9d.gif
Stay--
โ†“
5c2c2685-519d-4caa-ba6a-88778ffb4629.gif
Don't you look handsome?
โ†“
1e1eb9e5-df23-40c2-bb7e-9ef09c907607.gif
My little working man's first day on the job.
โ†“
d8c6d710-cfc2-4b67-a0dc-4a0e5c72852d.gif
Do not do anything to mess this up.
โ†“
e84e15ad-faf0-4bdd-b4ff-d7d81295305a.gif
Our whole family needs me to have this job.
โ†“
fbae0122-c993-4e27-a089-196c140a5357.gif
Don't worry, if it'll save the family, I won't stack the toilet paper sideways.
โ†“
5daf40ef-8bea-42f3-9d0b-ea4bebe9bff4.gif
Those kinds of wisenheimer remarks are exactly what I'm talking about.
โ†“
1f6808a4-1e9f-4669-91bf-3bd83f4236d5.gif
Now go.
โ†“
5d643d7b-f661-4140-9ac0-bb187e0480b2.gif
You don't want to be late for the training session.
โ†“
694ce2bc-d67e-424a-83ff-3d7b7f90d90d.gif
Hello, I'm Dale Young, District Supervisor.
โ†“
fec82916-8f3e-41fc-a9bb-c7c86043de0e.gif
Now, we're going to have a lot of Lucky Aide fun today,
โ†“
f46d9453-3634-4257-8eeb-1c63be0f2d47.gif
but there's also a lot for our new trainees to learn.
โ†“
aa65251a-5a84-447b-b886-0597deccc109.gif
Not to mention our employees who need a little refresher.
โ†“
7ea725ed-abac-4a23-9590-46bb73dbead5.gif
- What is this, Feldspar, the fifth time? - We can call it that.
โ†“
723ebe13-2754-474b-93f8-9794b6a99ab0.gif
You leave the store unlocked one night, it's like the sky fell in.
โ†“
96ea6a33-51d1-41d8-b01f-7c325ac6c7ae.gif
Mr. Feldspar, I'm sure you don't want to get your fellow trainee in trouble.
โ†“
439b9a3b-9de8-43bd-8589-27a872430396.gif
You must be Malcolm, Lois' boy.
โ†“
aa0ab807-f46e-4ecf-ac3c-f3e26a95b809.gif
Hey, tell me, is Beans as much fun at home as she is at work?
โ†“
941ceea5-c736-4c1a-91c8-1efc965dde63.gif
- Who? - Hey, Dave.
โ†“
c6058fac-319b-4cce-8d34-ec59fc646adf.gif
Can you picture Beans having kids?
โ†“
fb56240a-dc12-4136-894d-e053db2df8e7.gif
Beans?
โ†“
417b1440-29ab-4fec-816e-b5d2e0910531.gif
Now, we're gonna start with a little instructional video,
โ†“
8a77a24b-e0f0-4fba-abc7-a4fd87cd589e.gif
and then I hope everyone has their role-playing hats on.
โ†“
a2d096db-df5b-45d4-b0df-4d8c5e291754.gif
Lucky Aide, it's another word for "family."
โ†“
098d400d-080f-4e30-950e-c1162c166024.gif
And like family, we all pull in the same direction,
โ†“
213b3b51-8c3f-401b-8453-1ed958750abf.gif
toward the same goal.
โ†“
9fc01c2f-1af2-4e0c-8e1a-98138881110c.gif
From the lowliest stock boy...
โ†“
4facf299-fe20-4c06-bf8b-99ded4e7e920.gif
to the district managers.
โ†“
35a0d1db-6883-4ac8-81a5-cd1052433b37.gif
- All the way up to the president. - Was that...?
โ†“
b1e17c9f-d46a-46e3-8bd6-12eb69677cd7.gif
We're proud of our 95 percent employee retention rate.
โ†“
6598ed0e-9203-4357-bf73-61257d72a1fa.gif
You may think you're just starting a job,
โ†“
e7add1f4-fc5a-4d96-8d00-ece6adbcfe7b.gif
but when you join the Lucky Aide family,
โ†“
45b0e453-641b-411a-a904-4dd17bf5ab39.gif
you're here for life.
โ†“
0f68aa02-0e84-4b7f-a7b8-f61bbde6c85f.gif
Mr. Young said you did great in training.
โ†“
2464ddb0-9358-4f2e-8f59-522634855b40.gif
Well, what can I say, Beans?
โ†“
d0ad79cc-19f7-4b0e-bd7d-9056093baeb8.gif
Oh, I'm sorry, Beans. Did I say something wrong, Beans?
โ†“
c3ae666a-9dee-4ff4-b211-fa5d3b19ad70.gif
I went to a lot of trouble to make sure you could work with Albert.
โ†“
bbd4d2e4-8944-4da8-a556-07bf2b3ca9c6.gif
He knows what he's doing. You're gonna learn a lot from him.
โ†“
12e65a2a-bde4-4dd9-8122-06ccd7cf5e34.gif
Hey, Albert. This is my son, Malcolm.
โ†“
5897f398-d4ee-473c-9cff-0f9c97a7cb20.gif
Nah, that can't be your son.
โ†“
eea777ac-d784-4a80-b5bd-a93da183ec1c.gif
He ain't beautiful enough.
โ†“
5ed302e2-22d3-410f-9240-e383c4dba436.gif
Did she just giggle?
โ†“
05752330-2eb7-4c55-8dc7-5cbb0f7a52b1.gif
Okay, now.
โ†“
8ede2aee-2e95-4217-84df-36e8ed1e68c2.gif
Those are empty boxes.
โ†“
25ea00a7-609e-4525-a207-05a3a02535cf.gif
Yes, they are.
โ†“
0896e2f0-dc92-4aba-a3f7-948db1da8e2c.gif
Good.
โ†“
f299e097-4976-4794-81d3-0d958154c749.gif
Now, what you do is you take them in the freight elevator
โ†“
80768ab4-f639-4b7a-99f5-d7dcb26b0f8c.gif
to the basement to the box-flattening area.
โ†“
c3ae043e-c33f-4193-bf9a-d73cd09f1a11.gif
You flatten the boxes,
โ†“
7df2cc54-b6ec-478a-897c-cfb1544cc26c.gif
then take them back up the elevator,
โ†“
d4b63b7d-659b-4734-81c4-08fb412b43e2.gif
go out by the loading dock and throw them in the dumpster.
โ†“
92f76b39-0153-489e-9f7e-33c86d5b3636.gif
I figure it's about six or seven trips. Shouldn't take you more than two hours.
โ†“
2362040b-c69d-4078-8b1b-b575793e82ba.gif
That dumpster right over there?
โ†“
1013c656-26b5-4b66-8fda-35f53b80fecc.gif
Yes.
โ†“
3e0517b1-73f7-4228-9380-770425ce596f.gif
If I flatten them here, I can be done in like 20 minutes.
โ†“
53a7733b-85ba-4ac8-9f26-fd91c0cfc237.gif
You take them in the freight elevator to the basement
โ†“
ffa6d031-caca-4a18-bb70-4f2bdb9e42e8.gif
to the box-flattening area.
โ†“
16971033-d89f-4241-b959-578cf7754388.gif
No, I got it. I was just wondering if...
โ†“
ad1a2c5c-3ce0-4bce-bd75-c204bd67e40e.gif
I understand.
โ†“
849f47f4-50cd-4d11-84f3-1ed954a40aa7.gif
I broke down the boxes next to the dumpster
โ†“
138b42ae-1405-4c6a-9a18-3617f2a0b367.gif
and saved so much time, I was able to sweep out the stock room
โ†“
56a4f9c6-eefa-40de-a242-219edd611736.gif
and do a whole week's worth of returns.
โ†“
bd80c9df-f098-44d0-a910-2d956340855f.gif
That's great. Sounds like you had a good first day.
โ†“
26b7b79f-c433-4074-a87f-2f1b63950c59.gif
So, what part of "box-flattening area" don't you understand?
โ†“
cea4c158-b832-442e-8b8e-8f837736ce7e.gif
- Huh? - You were seen flattening boxes
โ†“
b226eb17-954f-46f2-813b-1be873de1d08.gif
outside of the designated box-flattening area.
โ†“
846c0fcf-3a5c-4c23-aab9-2c3ef74c9965.gif
I thought I made myself clear.
โ†“
99049a58-b42e-4c71-9ba5-e67170c27a6a.gif
Why even have a box-flattening area if you don't flatten the boxes there?
โ†“
487f867a-445c-47f1-a87e-91c461f36645.gif
But it only took me 20 minutes, so I was able to-- Mom.
โ†“
110a0f2d-e268-4fc2-b60f-6eacb24a9e28.gif
Albert, I'm sorry.
โ†“
98be71b5-3280-432c-a0c4-b5e7f36845b5.gif
I'll write him up.
โ†“
2f2311e3-22c1-41d5-b39b-19beadc57d17.gif
What? But you just said that--
โ†“
e9686569-e771-42f7-8465-800d237abe10.gif
You're supposed to do as you're told.
โ†“
d8a2b6c5-aa69-4e88-8a05-9a32819b1f8a.gif
Thanks for taking the heat off me.
โ†“
5f0ff332-4744-4e6c-8611-4f80f034b1c4.gif
I forgot my shoes again.
โ†“
75e8fd36-b505-4386-a074-ad7c6011022d.gif
This is ridiculous!
โ†“
ed2dce40-0201-4b8d-a1ca-ddc3984bc864.gif
You're being completely arbitrary and asinine!
โ†“
daf0f22e-83da-436a-8c90-f1b6eadf9708.gif
You're telling me I'm doing a great job, then next minute you're writing me up!
โ†“
736c42e7-c5f3-4e85-8050-634e86f4296c.gif
You broke the rules, Malcolm.
โ†“
50292174-52ba-41db-a526-d1e63f15bf5f.gif
Come on, that box-flattening area is a stupid rule.
โ†“
60e82a6c-261d-49fe-9d3c-6234fdf6b6c3.gif
You know I'm right.
โ†“
7d41252e-be6b-4f85-8f43-8609594344d2.gif
Albert is a grade-five employee. He has put in 20 years of service time.
โ†“
cd6702e2-4164-40a4-ab95-7024fab048aa.gif
Sometimes that's more important than what's right or wrong.
โ†“
03b6ac55-88b9-4bc9-b2e7-7182fc1220ae.gif
Who are you?
โ†“
1e8f269f-1ecd-498d-a9aa-47170cad1fa8.gif
Stop being so melodramatic.
โ†“
eb73923d-14de-4a17-8ff6-26f02a777d2a.gif
No, seriously, I want to know.
โ†“
e03eea11-e217-43ba-a35a-182e56b31668.gif
Because the mother I know has spent her entire life ranting about
โ†“
639afc30-5c1e-4967-b553-5885a3145354.gif
always doing the right thing, no matter what the cost,
โ†“
c3126cff-7c49-4746-b829-b90baf920e68.gif
no matter how unpopular it is,
โ†“
03d2d7c2-2ecc-4c3c-975d-32c003c616a6.gif
and now you're standing here getting all caught up in, "who's a grade five"
โ†“
448b1b85-c4b9-453f-8025-ddc50ecbe8e6.gif
- and blindly obeying authority. - Honestly, Malcolm,
โ†“
170cd86d-025b-466a-8c76-b9d19949fa7b.gif
where'd you get the idea that a job is supposed to be fun?
โ†“
b9b9dda9-c8a9-4ad6-b8cd-d6697a3b23db.gif
That's not what I'm talking about!
โ†“
c03ca77f-b314-4b74-bc26-ec1a897a6171.gif
The truth is, work is hard and miserable and nobody likes doing it.
โ†“
95f1bed0-59ea-4d87-9a5b-91ecf8e02c0d.gif
I have the greatest job in the world!
โ†“
c33928ca-912e-481e-ace8-47de7251cecd.gif
You got a job?
โ†“
367d7b95-83ea-4694-ba86-abc74b97e303.gif
Yeah, with Hygienic Meat Packing.
โ†“
a007a5e0-b063-40ad-b790-81677057b4f8.gif
All I do all day is cut meat.
โ†“
5927a6c7-d8e7-48dc-a63e-177ed69c1757.gif
With knives and saws.
โ†“
3279cf5e-a0ef-4c4b-bfcd-90a54d800c6a.gif
There's blood everywhere,
โ†“
be7c6aca-01e9-431f-9c03-4ba6e0714aa3.gif
and there's all these guys swearing in Spanish,
โ†“
1a16d946-a0da-4519-97a1-e97063e6e8e0.gif
and they pay me 12 bucks an hour.
โ†“
040afca0-9a5d-4efd-8807-a15826799ad6.gif
12 bucks an hour?
โ†“
beb2ac27-e7c8-45ff-8c85-9cbbe2f8791d.gif
I only make 5.50.
โ†“
85d2501f-b24a-49ec-b324-930b8268f216.gif
With the write-up, you're bumped down to 3.75.
โ†“
9aab07d0-c81e-4fc7-996d-0e866be8ba88.gif
Now, you better go finish your homework. Dinner's in a half an hour.
โ†“
1e9a9da1-0c9c-49b7-866a-2b1586441f3b.gif
I am so proud of you guys.
โ†“
857ac18b-dac9-43c4-8259-17180cc0fb52.gif
You're so open to connecting with your babies.
โ†“
3c0e580b-413f-457d-b163-70018b744179.gif
If my dads were like you,
โ†“
1ed1b4a8-f7ab-4f9a-bcfb-3197a8f373e3.gif
I'm sure I wouldn't have slept with so many men in college.
โ†“
225dcc25-6c0b-47e1-9f9a-cfb1b2fd48df.gif
See you next class.
โ†“
78f37164-d61a-4145-9f2f-e7b6b352a619.gif
We can't wait.
โ†“
715aa0a1-09f3-41e4-97df-95caae13b719.gif
Okay, I've got Jamie to win and Kevin to show.
โ†“
4b4b1052-54c3-43e6-8234-f71102af5de7.gif
- Jamie's diaper. Two pounds. - Yes!
โ†“
c2a0ace4-1eab-490a-b780-e717fda20bcb.gif
- Dakota. Two and a quarter pounds. - Yes.
โ†“
12d281c1-9b1d-4998-9ee0-d02ff208ff06.gif
Jasmine.
โ†“
14415bca-d3df-4d9f-ba38-5da73aad4d5c.gif
Four pounds?
โ†“
7cf56b61-1966-4b8d-94c5-bbe8ec1c1d81.gif
Man, that's unholy.
โ†“
b8d072fd-6de5-49dc-bc2b-f79a8eefd4db.gif
I am so sorry I was ever disappointed you were born a girl.
โ†“
fa9798f2-b059-4e48-b1bc-353d5e0e0951.gif
Reese, this meat is delicious. Thank you. Malcolm, would you like another piece?
โ†“
35970061-2ea9-4b02-9bad-493417fb995c.gif
I don't think I'm authorized to make that decision.
โ†“
2ba2b28d-bf5f-4e35-98bf-eba4a466fd3a.gif
Maybe we should ask a grade-five employee.
โ†“
cc1861a3-0151-4eba-b7ae-18eb8010d968.gif
Hey, I'm a grade-five employee.
โ†“
f2d02d60-082a-42f3-b270-9341263b3ad8.gif
How do they get the meat this tender?
โ†“
c982964c-3a93-4719-99df-943d369b23fd.gif
Well, that's the thing about veal.
โ†“
3030ba7a-e8fe-4fc7-a850-e91390f68240.gif
Imagine if you took Jamie
โ†“
ae08c9d8-15b8-4146-8dde-3b6ff0ae4c47.gif
and put him in a little box where he would never see daylight.
โ†“
82c9bebf-81cb-4273-a71f-a205e5a69641.gif
You don't let him move so his muscles don't get all tough.
โ†“
a5806cb5-34b8-471a-bc02-c3b9154d0a24.gif
He's basically blind and you force-feed him nothing but milk.
โ†“
ca6a1f14-73eb-4abe-a704-3feaac7fb2ab.gif
That's what makes him taste so good.
โ†“
2eae554d-b931-42a2-a17f-85e7fa93d3dc.gif
- Hal, how did Jamie do in class today? - Fine.
โ†“
df3bdcad-cd0e-4f0e-b037-0d68186a78e8.gif
I guess.
โ†“
d8c6cb3b-7fe5-4a18-826a-9f0731aac797.gif
For a kid who can't fill a diaper.
โ†“
ffb7ec96-db0f-4ed8-8522-fe6fb70dbf4a.gif
This is strange.
โ†“
950363f8-d1a0-403f-a9f9-32a02b120df7.gif
Why would we have so many leftovers?
โ†“
46260c56-9684-42ba-94b8-1107ee95e5f9.gif
You hung up on me!
โ†“
fc3404be-e4ce-462b-9e9d-99653642df80.gif
- What are you doing here? - I told you.
โ†“
9fa3ed7c-83fb-491c-9585-3cab9538a6e9.gif
I can't handle Reese and Malcolm anymore.
โ†“
9854e74c-454d-4641-94bf-df35bb25791b.gif
I need a good big brother before it's too late.
โ†“
472ed974-52e7-490e-91a7-bd4caec94019.gif
I'm like one wedgie away from an eating disorder.
โ†“
1283f6c1-7087-4925-872c-2089791c066d.gif
- You're here by yourself? - Francis, please.
โ†“
e83511a6-27c0-4ff5-8fa0-cc443817aaee.gif
All I want is a few minutes of someone being nice to me.
โ†“
866465e3-e373-46c5-8ead-990aeb7a9f73.gif
Is that really such a big thing for a kid my age to ask?
โ†“
716f42fd-a2a4-4a24-942f-4bef44aa4d7a.gif
Dad, Dad, Dad, calm down. He's fine. I have the day off Saturday.
โ†“
71e8fb19-96a5-4f08-9bb3-d93b46cff803.gif
I'll bring him home then.
โ†“
bf817684-61d2-46aa-bc6a-e84cfaf939f3.gif
You gotta give him credit, you know.
โ†“
4f169a50-6c54-4793-a767-33f18a9fe29e.gif
He got to the ranch all by himself.
โ†“
025b77cb-fa01-4ab5-85f7-91abe6e9805d.gif
The first time you tried, you ended up in Mexico.
โ†“
bb7efe33-60f7-46a5-b014-2119ea1b9c55.gif
Of course, I'd be happy to carry your bags outside.
โ†“
d2ae93d0-eab3-4a9a-9172-48d11913dbbf.gif
We wouldn't want you to get all hot and sweaty out in the blaring heat.
โ†“
01ad4884-9efd-4768-bb54-9aac2e6c4b82.gif
Malcolm. You're not scheduled for today.
โ†“
6868ff70-f2e9-46ef-bb9c-e491f80fcbc9.gif
- I'm just looking for my mom. - She's out back on her break.
โ†“
2f49a28f-0190-418a-9b1e-01e0c5417ca4.gif
Last night, Mom accused me of being obsessive about getting written up.
โ†“
4e25ca66-210b-429f-8fff-671dc4f5aa57.gif
So, I stayed up all last night thinking up a bunch of comebacks.
โ†“
8b8ef0da-4a02-4612-b6ca-246becbe2188.gif
I have potential comebacks to every possible comeback of hers.
โ†“
135bcc47-7d06-4993-91ce-62f72bf52eac.gif
There's no way she--
โ†“
02d1fc42-15c9-4733-95ec-d26a57896421.gif
You're smoking?
โ†“
21907465-aeb2-4ed8-a62f-cd2a573b69af.gif
After all the times you lectured us?
โ†“
317a3cf1-dc7e-4305-8000-b77750df8377.gif
After telling us if we smoked, you would kill us before the cancer did?
โ†“
a6be2991-9a0c-4ec3-ad90-1c47e4e9ade9.gif
After you would push Francis' lit cigarettes back in his mouth
โ†“
514e304d-9cda-40fe-be8c-106c1c526e86.gif
and make him swallow?
โ†“
435f5c2a-e51e-473c-a96c-41d9a2f4a34f.gif
And you smoke?
โ†“
05071a53-5638-47cd-9c8c-846bc3f89c7b.gif
You smoke?
โ†“
969f9d25-9bbd-49fb-9c7c-0c2c2c226ac6.gif
Look, it's not what you think. When I work, I have two cigarettes.
โ†“
5de6e062-221c-4874-a470-10bf2ac5db96.gif
One on my morning break, one in the afternoon.
โ†“
57eaebc1-218a-49f7-bd28-96cceea1406d.gif
No more, no less.
โ†“
9f468f82-e723-4a90-8514-8fdd483ccff8.gif
Who are you?
โ†“
122702bd-5eac-48be-866b-f0aa5a541faf.gif
You have to stop saying that.
โ†“
9df64ea6-8971-44bd-a263-e1cdd480989d.gif
I will quit eventually,
โ†“
4339d10c-0365-412f-9609-6ba75418dcc7.gif
but until then, the only thing that's stopping your father
โ†“
155af252-3d75-4c11-89e8-4b4e36fda3c5.gif
from smoking six packs a day is knowing that we quit together.
โ†“
861f1c26-82fe-494b-9f56-27d48c3bd9bd.gif
But you didn't quit.
โ†“
8995ff10-aa0e-4090-86c0-2804e764a4d7.gif
But he knows I did.
โ†“
7c46ac3b-a470-46e3-ad59-ecdd6ba74cc2.gif
But you didn't.
โ†“
7279e66f-f1f8-4605-9769-d08f41ee21f7.gif
He knows I did.
โ†“
271445f1-409f-4cb2-8d29-1ead3e26a566.gif
You lie and you smoke.
โ†“
f338b345-5fbb-4266-b827-29e49125e795.gif
Oh, for God's sake, Malcolm!
โ†“
efbd9d71-3e33-47fd-855f-55cccefbb2fa.gif
Lois, Lois, I just remembered
โ†“
f3b16efa-f802-4422-8f8c-5a53af220886.gif
you were holding my lit cigarette in your hand,
โ†“
1423479c-ec90-4335-8eb1-48bd25091e39.gif
and I wanted to thank you for holding on to my cigarettes.
โ†“
7eee7147-7818-4095-b54c-81b7c1d387a0.gif
Which are mine.
โ†“
1b88be3f-6ce9-49fe-a599-bce7aaf3bd64.gif
- He knows. - Okay.
โ†“
b41a0345-b057-4acc-bb84-154cdb3d6a6f.gif
I think I left my register open.
โ†“
4be93416-07d1-4810-8700-30a9df02c878.gif
Okay, Malcolm, you caught me.
โ†“
1f0217e1-d5b7-4da5-a3fd-e3b27a7f2f16.gif
This has to be kept secret.
โ†“
ecf3444f-b4b9-49b9-baff-80bf02bbba0a.gif
So, I'm going to ask you for a favor.
โ†“
030920b1-8836-405f-bc06-2e1b5a567834.gif
A favor?
โ†“
1625e347-6f61-4e88-9c0c-06942209db07.gif
You're asking me for a favor after you totally hung me out to dry.
โ†“
664c3984-5afb-40fe-a647-902d343c990a.gif
I'm just asking for a little flexibility. Please.
โ†“
5d23d394-a72f-4eeb-87e9-8b1c66371388.gif
For your father and for me,
โ†“
42c90162-d162-485f-a7de-b86cc87ce47f.gif
just keep the smoking to yourself.
โ†“
d1ad1598-99ca-44b6-8a80-5f7cb7936e84.gif
Please.
โ†“
b85b0b1d-1b3a-47c8-b240-f04f665e2012.gif
Yeah, okay.
โ†“
beb4d37a-aecd-4524-a5d0-0330dbe0f5dd.gif
Wow, she's talking to me like a human being.
โ†“
9de9f958-a1f7-4b53-a5d8-0b96b1c93241.gif
This can't get any weirder.
โ†“
ed6b7c26-5a51-48dc-a453-895898801177.gif
Thank you, Malcolm.
โ†“
8519823c-c3ca-4832-8faa-8fa4cc4440bd.gif
Yes, it can.
โ†“
17a3722e-ba58-49c4-99c8-464b4778d09d.gif
I can't believe I used to think that taking care of the baby was a chore.
โ†“
4377bb12-4a2a-48af-8851-6999a48e99c2.gif
This class has really opened my eyes.
โ†“
1a84acd3-7923-4324-b524-c26961a2a390.gif
Time.
โ†“
d93c03f6-5180-464b-a5e3-6bf8b3d78290.gif
Aiden wins again.
โ†“
40edeb73-4d7c-47d1-9dd3-976f995b2250.gif
I knew I shouldn't let you have that cracker.
โ†“
a32bdc30-f64c-4084-a9d9-5f28acd47126.gif
I'll pay you next class. I gotta go.
โ†“
e5128271-449b-4b39-92d2-3e9b7e4330b8.gif
You're not going to stick around for the suction contest?
โ†“
cbcd5612-1f1f-4000-a101-9187f26eab71.gif
Will you take a watch?
โ†“
9f948426-b1f4-4be3-8153-48c3d8e63ad2.gif
Don't get too down about this probation thing.
โ†“
4bcf2e59-2be1-4360-ae22-d3eb84c8a02b.gif
This job is mostly a beauty pageant.
โ†“
cc8622fc-4c3e-43a2-9251-74fdc7069a4f.gif
You know what's weird?
โ†“
04c0e557-bb18-439c-b8a3-c8c6108b6ae9.gif
You get used to thinking of a person as being so much more powerful than you,
โ†“
9c36b6f5-17ca-4b06-be66-3602b8082fca.gif
then something shifts and it becomes kind of awkward.
โ†“
f869d05d-52ad-4b82-af0a-a744cb12ed58.gif
- Oh, my God, are you my boss now? - What?
โ†“
23873dde-eebb-4b90-b453-784dd56cacc4.gif
This is so unfair.
โ†“
3e8bde71-91dd-43cb-8ff5-e8444b93d51f.gif
Year after year, why can't--?
โ†“
5dc404fc-c8c4-43bc-88c4-74a2bfb616ae.gif
It's nice to see one of the good guys win.
โ†“
837865b7-c1cb-48fe-a1a0-ebe76505b361.gif
Why don't you take a load off? I'll go get you a cup of joe.
โ†“
c6f22b32-e0db-4d75-b2c5-a50b8c7d7dd1.gif
No worries, chief.
โ†“
13359a7c-d64c-4e94-a8da-7325aa42f5cb.gif
Whoa.
โ†“
40a274f7-e40e-4855-8262-6a1823e3214a.gif
Malcolm.
โ†“
26e10e25-a09d-4c3e-aecf-707f887061b9.gif
It's not what it looks like.
โ†“
bf16c94a-45bb-47c7-9447-ec7513c40987.gif
- Lois, are you in there? - I'll explain later.
โ†“
c9a706a4-7f87-4ed0-a1d9-a7f77b18a198.gif
I know exactly what this looks like, but I'm asking you for flexibility.
โ†“
070908db-4590-48f9-8c6e-c187e6269294.gif
- Trust me. - Lois, where's the--?
โ†“
1c80b62f-4fbc-4ebf-88d7-3bcc90387953.gif
What's going on here?
โ†“
6524550c-c21b-40be-a750-d64c85ced913.gif
I'll have to write Malcolm up again.
โ†“
0150343f-8c32-4ec7-9a35-31dbfea88bf5.gif
He's flattened another box outside of the box flattening area.
โ†“
9c0b2b22-5682-493f-8ef5-399576a6f6b4.gif
The guys at work are great. I already have a nickname.
โ†“
d4c9a779-63f7-46d5-b170-e643c743112d.gif
Ten Fingers.
โ†“
97716ba6-6b17-4739-94b0-d1acece77a62.gif
The old Ten Fingers wasn't using it anymore.
โ†“
86b68ebd-3ee8-489e-81a5-9263236b4dee.gif
I'm proud of you, son.
โ†“
ca6d6bff-36aa-4ebb-b360-e4b878803b02.gif
You're working now.
โ†“
a66f452e-750a-489c-892e-a7464c03c313.gif
I feel like I could talk to you, man to man.
โ†“
b7d69d54-408a-4733-8d74-721e05d549f7.gif
You know, about grown up things, expenses.
โ†“
a36fd117-cb53-498e-9842-19ebf3a006fa.gif
Cheaters. Can I borrow some money from you?
โ†“
fe882bd8-a35e-4dee-9935-35d7de4048b3.gif
Yeah. How much do you need?
โ†“
5d344134-a1c3-4369-a1cb-63d308ad0c34.gif
How much do you have?
โ†“
5cfaf5ae-3f16-492d-aa33-30ab2ac76617.gif
Why don't you just tell me how much you need.
โ†“
537bd40e-784b-44ae-9c41-9c78acd3e48e.gif
One hun-- Two...
โ†“
7a10b83e-c928-44eb-93c2-b108a6935338.gif
And another hundred.
โ†“
2a218f41-d8d6-4c84-a31b-6fd22782802f.gif
You might want to rinse off the bills in cold water.
โ†“
9ebb81e9-fbec-44c8-a858-0ab20c0a7157.gif
They stick together.
โ†“
9ea56ea8-ac5c-4f93-90dc-d8d97b7f6562.gif
It was so cool when that guy at the truck stop
โ†“
78cab90b-8a44-47f0-acef-26b06a07e7a4.gif
blew the smoke ring out of the hole in his throat.
โ†“
af9eb420-f7ae-4a8a-9036-166f43f83fae.gif
That was fun, wasn't it?
fun
โ†“
edb7a56d-df10-4f71-adc2-55b9bce628c9.gif
How come you're the only good one in the family?
โ†“
d4285397-e050-4b05-a92c-f861d7d6bf61.gif
Why didn't any of it rub off on Reese or Malcolm?
โ†“
29037ad0-7f0c-49a0-bac5-a262e38c800d.gif
- Dewey, would you cut it out? - No, I mean it.
โ†“
722879d4-01af-479c-8cfe-d6d6ebeb6ad0.gif
You're such a good brother. I'll bet they didn't even appreciate it.
โ†“
23b2067c-f0eb-4d2c-8154-6b0696998eff.gif
Dewey, I was never like this with Reese and Malcolm.
โ†“
ebf7dc60-d56c-4be8-a0ae-fce99bead7b0.gif
I treated them like crap.
โ†“
3eede7ae-f586-448e-88bd-700007e8365c.gif
Way worse than they treat you.
โ†“
1c4cd212-7521-4904-a40b-010df292a2bd.gif
That's impossible.
โ†“
e3468624-456f-463a-8d9c-bb9392a0c767.gif
I tortured them all the time.
โ†“
24824253-6084-470d-ad83-f112d8faf207.gif
I beat them up, I took their stuff, I locked them in closets.
โ†“
cbca506b-081a-45f2-9d89-d94a64a0038d.gif
You know that scar on Reese's back? That's from a bayonet.
โ†“
c38709c5-68ee-402d-98fd-baaa309e5c1a.gif
Where did I even get a bayonet?
โ†“
0ae0124e-224d-47a1-8bcc-6b69d7a552ea.gif
But you couldn't have.
โ†“
e40372bd-1223-489b-ab29-c3d95ac8a2d3.gif
The way they talk about you.
โ†“
b47fddae-b8e2-4837-98b5-a9f0cd8ec390.gif
They love you so much.
โ†“
bd9944f0-a508-4ad7-92f7-74dabcd14eed.gif
Dewey, let me let you in on a little secret.
โ†“
95c09d94-cab7-443f-af42-0a7a65591254.gif
Sometimes people love people for no reason.
โ†“
42fb32a3-62b2-4fa5-a039-7ab91a8a6121.gif
Like Whoopi Goldberg.
โ†“
4f7181d1-c9f1-4937-8ffa-da826416e367.gif
- Hmm. - It's even weirder with brothers.
โ†“
c2640b0b-ad15-4b0b-8a35-722374acb437.gif
So, you're saying...
โ†“
5bb13a5d-4eae-4709-83aa-07cf03bc875b.gif
I'm the only one you were ever nice to?
โ†“
d85f9d0a-bb31-4ffd-915f-fdeb33bf0231.gif
Pretty much.
โ†“
b35138d3-3b77-486b-b9d5-644cf8f1d67c.gif
You know, you have a real opportunity here.
โ†“
7aa348b2-c1ad-4827-9c3b-c50facdadde8.gif
You can break the cycle. You can be a good brother to Jamie.
โ†“
de4383a7-8f4b-4e15-a268-6011e95fa933.gif
You can be the one kid in this family
โ†“
b58d9386-e9bb-48b5-abba-a24cfdf749d0.gif
who takes care of the younger one and looks out for him.
โ†“
c23dd7dd-9bc2-4717-8154-8bf4f99831ff.gif
How is that fair?
โ†“
9126961e-b75e-4b12-befa-7831fc5f4a05.gif
Yeah, you're right.
โ†“
83e3c6e6-6f30-4043-825b-1e13a695e521.gif
Trying to impress the cool kids?
โ†“
2f0e4f26-c348-4935-ba86-9ce5e1f043a4.gif
Hey, Malcolm.
โ†“
a1e4fa2c-e031-45f3-93ee-12da4be828de.gif
Good news.
โ†“
49b0368e-f403-4f9a-b345-671f6c8be8c1.gif
Head of security told me that the surveillance cameras proved
โ†“
2adf6619-2fb2-4617-ab15-6918b853f6cb.gif
you didn't flatten that box on purpose.
โ†“
94f4a6d4-e125-4523-95a8-0e1c91138768.gif
You're also using too much soap in the bathroom.
โ†“
30d250e3-4cd4-4953-a9c7-9064be89237d.gif
Anyway, you're off probation.
โ†“
bf289b41-dd0d-49f3-93f7-353b398d8f25.gif
- Wow, thanks for going to the mat for me. - What is your problem?
โ†“
adaa16d6-6816-42ee-808f-66ebc731800c.gif
My problem is, I have no idea who you are.
โ†“
4a278881-b672-4f75-b58c-ce54a6143591.gif
I thought I had this mother
โ†“
9a5e6eff-a760-4424-84f0-0f47b0e9ad0d.gif
that was abrupt and short-tempered and rude,
โ†“
25fd4336-854c-49f0-bcf6-d5c1cb842bfe.gif
but who at least would stand up for what's right.
โ†“
5d6c16ea-e7c9-4379-9e76-4acbe814d3d0.gif
That's not who you are.
โ†“
bf9a3a6f-f64c-47ed-97f6-a88617f995e3.gif
I did something nice for you, and you act like it didn't happen.
โ†“
ccb41144-9682-48dc-af6e-c81d7de77fea.gif
You did something nice for me because it was the right thing to do.
โ†“
fc700614-d0d3-4ca4-912a-1cc56e6feb6a.gif
I'm simply making you obey rules because I'm your mother.
โ†“
76496257-d046-4e39-84a5-fce700654258.gif
That's not fair. If this favor thing doesn't work both ways,
โ†“
68db1a60-788a-4fc0-9832-814d2f89795a.gif
then why am I keeping a big secret?
โ†“
b227e804-c01f-4d26-9de6-4a3d0c1443d2.gif
- Why shouldn't I just tell Dad? - You're not gonna tell your father.
โ†“
7f7b7431-8c82-4b77-ae35-66fb0142cdd3.gif
How do you know?
โ†“
bdcb313c-611b-4e66-a0cc-0e5dfcc28de7.gif
Because, Malcolm, that's not who you are.
โ†“
a1c0a647-1d2d-4fd5-b62d-4946991601d1.gif
Why do you do this to me?
โ†“
61f6df97-7070-40f8-a597-66e108922bde.gif
Malcolm, I know this is hard for you.
โ†“
965a69f4-73c5-486d-9253-d83f6722d3d8.gif
You're growing up. You're sick living under my authority.
โ†“
56e3ed72-521a-4070-b5b8-a0223e9ccb0f.gif
You want me to cut you some slack.
โ†“
6f9d3e8e-cc31-4655-9bd9-5d9ffe75b79e.gif
You're wondering when I'll finally see you as an adult.
โ†“
fdcb308f-4b17-4d72-8d29-7ce182e0bd84.gif
Well, that's never going to happen.
โ†“
12086728-24c3-48e8-9d7e-35d6c522486f.gif
That's just not the way it works.
โ†“
6e75c1b6-897c-4b77-9daa-b5f24568b30a.gif
You can move away from home, you can get married,
โ†“
d30a11b7-d7a2-4d40-870c-782d588bf4d0.gif
even have kids of your own, you can even become
โ†“
f000f966-59c9-4145-b85c-dd06446f1b84.gif
a professor of physics at MIT.
โ†“
657a0e9f-faf0-4042-8326-0d12e9ad48fd.gif
I will always be your mother.
โ†“
8db92399-828e-4c78-800a-e4de4beb6686.gif
And that's just the way it is until one of us dies.
โ†“
61ca9afe-eae3-4699-ae1b-fb81070780eb.gif
You want to put your head between your knees?
โ†“
37fe5f77-9971-41b0-adca-331ede5b7f60.gif
No, I'm okay.
โ†“
093384c8-edc3-4696-b6de-88a66198fbff.gif
Look, will you please just give me one thing?
โ†“
dfbaecc8-1733-44d4-8f51-30fb7be169a6.gif
Please stop smoking.
โ†“
2770b3ae-b0be-4cbe-9f77-56de2d12ad11.gif
I already quit.
โ†“
0857b096-b8f1-47b0-943c-da79e234231a.gif
- Are you lying? - Of course not.
โ†“
c90d53d9-e2f2-4139-9f48-6ae6a2b13a87.gif
Okay, Jamie. It all comes down to this.
โ†“
41d0623a-fb53-4b6d-b179-40a4b7c41f73.gif
Just do it like we practiced in the garage.
โ†“
fea791f5-d552-47ad-9c03-c1c1e311c3e1.gif
- Go, go, go. - We've got the whole family together.
โ†“
7d499e41-3d6a-4ae4-a833-7046b18a3bd5.gif
We should celebrate with a nice dinner at--
โ†“
fc740eff-f132-43f0-896d-b6e0ac9a101e.gif
Slow, slow, slow.
โ†“
57ae2829-f528-446d-840a-479ec31d56e3.gif
Pay up, suckers.
โ†“
db784efd-44c0-4d16-aed9-bb92c52bc304.gif
You treated your babies like they were made of glass,
โ†“
4a2e8a54-8322-47a8-9eed-8b8e1613728d.gif
and now you suffer.
โ†“
206fe8dd-2a6d-4ee8-8e07-18b178e01411.gif
- What are you waiting for? - I want to remember that goofy smile.
โ†“
32af5859-f0cc-4dea-a591-017b3a89b7c1.gif
Nobody's going to be seeing that for a long time.
โ†“
e9de38e8-499c-4f62-9ea0-96cfb50fb940.gif
Whoo-hoo! Look at me.