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Home » Malcolm in the Middle » S05E04 — Thanksgiving

Malcolm in the Middle

Season 5, Episode 4 — Thanksgiving

TMDB episode metadata
Show: Malcolm in the Middle
Episode title: Thanksgiving
Air date: November 23, 2003
Director: David D'Ovidio
Top billed cast: Frankie Muniz, Jane Kaczmarek, Bryan Cranston, Justin Berfield, Erik Per Sullivan, Christopher Masterson
Malcolm skips out on Thanksgiving to go to a party; Reese becomes abusive to Hal and Dewey as he attempts to prepare Thanksgiving dinner.
Source: TMDB
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Only take off a quarter-inch on the sides.
inchquartersides
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- Leave the top and just clean up the back. - Reese, I've done this a million times.
cleanmillionmillion-timesreesetimes
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Mom, look.
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I just ripped my brand-new shirt sneaking into the reservoir,
brandrippedshirtsneaking
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that place you clearly ordered me never to go.
orderedplace
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I don't know why I do these things that are so infuriating to you,
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but the funny thing is, I don't even care.
carefunny
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Damn it, Dewey, go to your room!
deweyroom
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- Let's get this over with. - No, Mom!
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Count to 10!
count
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Count to 10!
count
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♪ Life is unfair ♪
lifeunfair
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Tomorrow's Thanksgiving.
thanksgivingtomorrows
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and nobody's mentioned grass allergies or pollen count.
allergiescountgrassmentionednobodyspollen
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Malcolm, I never noticed what nice eyes you have.
eyesmalcolmnoticed
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Yeah, I guess I was distracted by your freakishly large head.
distractedhead
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Mostly because of stuff like that.
mostlystuff
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Hey, guys, I've gotta go.
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Hey, party at my house, Thanksgiving.
housepartythanksgiving
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Three cases of beer. No leaving till they're gone.
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- Your parents are out of town? - No.
parentstown
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Oh, sweet. Yeah, of course.
coursesweet
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Cute butt.
buttcute
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Why'd you have to spoil it?
spoilwhyd
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But you know what? It's not gonna--
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- Reese! - Grab an apron.
aprongrabreese
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Yes, I know.
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in the history of Thanksgiving feasts.
historythanksgiving
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- What's with the sheets? - I can't cook with distractions.
cookdistractionssheets
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Rat puke compared to what I have planned! The crepes I made last Thanksgiving?
comparedcrepesplannedpukethanksgiving
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- Oh, they were-- - Crap next to what we're having tonight!
havingtonight
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Don't think of this as a meal.
meal
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This is gonna be like eating the Mona Lisa.
eatinglisa
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Reese, I hardly think you can comp--
comphardlyreese
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Oh, my God.
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Plus, we get to eat anything that falls on the floor.
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Ooh.
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I'm going to Dylan's. I'll be back by dinner.
dinner
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Dylan, whom I've never met because you're afraid I'll find out
afraiddylan
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what a bad choice he is?
choice
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- so that you could have a home. - I'll only be gone a couple hours, okay?
couplecouple-hoursgonehomehours
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Half an hour?
halfhour
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I just don't understand what is so horrible about our family.
familyhorrible
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Yes, she does.
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I love her!
love
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And if the two of you are too dead inside to understand what that means,
dead
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then I just pity you.
pity
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No, no, Dad, I understand.
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When you get a new toothbrush and you want to break it in.
breaktoothbrush
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Go ahead and say it, Lois.
aheadgo-aheadlois
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Well, happy Thanksgiving.
happyhappy-thanksgivingthanksgiving
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I'll go over there and tell them I'm not coming.
coming
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- Piama. - I know her name.
namepiama
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Your family is going to be here,
family
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and we are going to have a lovely Thanksgiving.
lovelythanksgiving
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I will not keep my voice down!
voice
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You think they won't know in five minutes that we're getting a divorce?
divorcefivefive-minutesminutes
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- Sorry, we're having some problems. - Having some problems?
havingproblems
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Is that what you call finding out that all the love
findinglove
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that we shared was a lie?
shared
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Hi, Mom.
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Malcolm, you better go get your father.
fathermalcolm
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Malcolm!
malcolm
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And, you know, I think I've figured Kirsten out.
figured
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Then again...
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Beer man.
beer
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My stepdad drinks so much, he never counts it.
countsdrinksstepdad
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Malcolm?
malcolm
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Yeah, sure.
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Hey, guys, how's it going?
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No offense to your mother.
motheroffense
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I love her very much.
love
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It's cool, Art.
cool
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All right. You kids have fun.
funkids
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Somebody drop a beer?
beerdropsomebody
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Sorry. My parents are a little less casual about the whole beer thing.
beercasuallessparentswhole
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I bet you kiss like a 9-year-old.
kiss
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What?
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What?
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Okay, this one, I do know what she was doing.
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It was a total come-on. I'll show her how a 9-year-old can kiss.
kisstotal
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Hey.
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Don't tell me not to cry!
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Maybe my tears will make an ocean
oceantears
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and you can sail off on a boat to a new life without me!
boatlifesail
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- How did this happen? - It's terrible.
happen
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- What's that look, Hal? - Come on, Lois.
lois
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You've been trying to undercut this relationship.
relationship
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And now, they're getting a divorce and you had nothing to do with it?
divorce
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Please.
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You really think I have that much power to orchestrate people's lives
livespeoplespeoples-livespower
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besides yours?
besides
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All I know is that our son is talking about ending his marriage,
endingmarriage
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a marriage which you never supported.
marriagesupported
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Hal, that's ridiculous. Fine, fine. You want me to go talk to Francis?
francisridiculous
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Yes. No.
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No, no, no.
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This is some way for you to try to work out your agenda.
agenda
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I will not say a word to either one of them.
word
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Good.
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Wait.
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You won't say anything,
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which means you're just gonna let this whole thing fall apart.
apartfallfall-apartwhole
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Oh, I see your game, Lois.
gamelois
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- Hal, what is it you want me to do? - No, no, you are not dragging me
dragging
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into your little Machiavellian schemes, thank you very much.
schemes
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No, you spun these tangled webs yourself, Lois.
loisspuntangled
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You get yourself out.
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See? The real balsamic has a smoother mouth feel.
mouthreal
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Good, you're back.
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I'll start prepping the herbs de Provence and sautéing the mushrooms.
herbsmushroomspreppingstart
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I need you to scrub these pots and pans again.
potsscrub
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What? No, I just finished those.
finished
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Dad, look at this.
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The stubborn patina of tuna casserole,
casserolestubborntuna
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or enchilada loaf,
loaf
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or whatever in God's name this greasy spoon
godsgods-namegreasynamespoon
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churns out night after soul-killing night.
killingnightsoul
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But not tonight. Tonight we go for greatness.
greatnesstonight
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- Are you with me, Dad? - No!
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This pot is clean enough, Reese.
cleanreese
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No one will taste this.
taste
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All right, then.
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I guess no one will ever taste this.
taste
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Oh, my God.
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Dewey, I need you to do something for me.
dewey
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No. No more. I'm sick of this.
sick
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If I have to sculpt another radish or de-vein another prawn--
anothervein
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- Dewey, do you trust me? - No.
deweytrust
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Do you fear me?
fear
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No. Not in the long run.
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Come on, Dewey.
dewey
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It's just a couple of things I need that I couldn't get Dad to spring for.
couplespring
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So, here's $80 from Dad's wallet.
dadswallet
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The items on this list cost 240, so you'll have to turn on the cute.
costcuteitemslist
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Can you handle it?
handle
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- I keep whatever's left over? - Deal.
dealleftwhatevers
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- Mom, can I talk to you? - No, honey, please.
honey
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Don't talk to me about this.
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No matter what I say, I'm going to be blamed.
blamedmatter
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This is for you to work out with that woman.
woman
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- Piama. - I know her name.
namepiama
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Could you just listen to me for a second?
second
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If Piama and I ever were to get a divorce--
divorcepiama
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Francis, don't even talk like that. I mean it.
francis
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You really shouldn't.
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What were you going to say?
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If we ever were to split up,
split
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could I stay here for a while?
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God, Francis, I hate to even think of such a thing.
francishate
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But, yes, if such a terrible thing were to happen,
happen
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of course, we'd be here for you.
course
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Thanks, Mom.
thanks
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I mean, it was a stupid fight, I guess,
fightstupid
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but it was emblematic of everything that was bad with the relationship.
relationship
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- I mean, there are principles. - Principles are important.
principles
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I know. I mean, so what if I'd had a couple beers?
beerscouple
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How does it look in front of the guys if the woman's driving?
drivingfrontwomans
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- What? - She didn't care about my feelings at all.
carefeelings
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What?
↓
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- What? - Of all the idiotic, asinine things
idiotic
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you have ever said, Francis, this has gotta be one of the worst.
francisworst
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- I thought you were on my side. - You don't have a side.
side
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Now, you are going to go and apologize to that woman.
apologizewoman
↓
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Tell her that you are wrong and she is absolutely blameless.
absolutely
↓
1bc7c818-378a-4c57-9a65-9dfbdff33a2c.gif
- You really-- - Go!
↓
585ed109-5fbf-4e49-800a-7bf879bd7eab.gif
Okay, okay.
↓
75d48779-f723-4455-8c0d-a8131af37ee1.gif
Yes.
↓
7ae45029-215c-48a0-91d8-06aa417d4c1f.gif
He is an idiot.
idiot
↓
ba857f81-ebc6-4480-b4ed-3f56cc0825e5.gif
- Okay, Dad, get the bird. - Here.
bird
↓
205c9089-dfd4-4bc0-ac86-9d31517dabf0.gif
- What, this is the turkey you got? - It's perfect.
perfectturkey
↓
529e9d21-3852-4f34-a384-386e95cfb024.gif
It's really small.
↓
fe8acb3a-2977-475e-bd8a-096dd651c7d6.gif
Well, if it were any bigger, it wouldn't be able to fit inside of this!
ablebigger
↓
4be77e0b-a6a2-4dcc-b7f4-030aee76cc68.gif
What, you're going to put our dinner inside that monster?
dinnermonster
↓
60c0b48f-72da-401e-8582-524ba80105de.gif
It's a monkfish.
↓
06f3f7f0-2243-457a-a419-785d6bbb4dcf.gif
The juices of the monkfish will baste the turkey.
juicesturkey
↓
2e3a79fa-7ef6-4330-9809-4df8c8bc38c1.gif
The flavor from the turkey will saturate the fish,
fishflavorturkey
↓
cbd68f35-4cc8-43fc-8d97-fade534802ae.gif
both melding into one fantastic dish.
dishfantastic
↓
bbb00d92-95c2-471d-9208-33f7570931a0.gif
Reese, this doesn't seem like a good idea.
ideareese
↓
f216f7c0-5aac-43b7-a0b0-2cf63cc73e83.gif
I don't know, Dad. Maybe you're right.
↓
ea3f4c30-1676-48c5-9082-d9c7dd8c5a07.gif
Maybe I have no idea what I'm talking about.
idea
↓
8ccb757c-1d44-424e-91f3-b98fe420b451.gif
Oh!
↓
aaba5e9d-ebd8-4112-bcaf-c3bf0d6759af.gif
You know, that really shouldn't work.
↓
66756f8b-1909-463d-8616-4a4f96d9b575.gif
Listen, my ugly beauty.
beautyugly
↓
871c9172-303f-4d55-8330-695312c2e67c.gif
Yesterday, you were sucking scum off the bottom of the sea.
bottomscumsuckingyesterday
↓
8de0923a-b285-453f-90ab-195b60396139.gif
Tonight, you're going to tango with the gods.
godstangotonight
↓
78828bea-8e39-4d93-91f4-103f524bba87.gif
Yes, master, I will be delicious for you.
deliciousmaster
↓
dcdf98f7-d1ad-4f2b-b0ea-1218783c40ba.gif
Okay, things have definitely been going better.
↓
6d8aec3b-b1af-4e4e-a5d1-992880424043.gif
I'm absolutely more or less sure she might like me.
absolutelylessmight
↓
ad0c5769-ed37-4bab-8d02-a5c533e98992.gif
I think.
↓
25d1e8f5-3714-4435-9e41-d77a2b32bd06.gif
Looks like you're behind the proverbial eight ball.
ballbehindeighteight-ballproverbial
↓
4a5b3b52-3346-4743-b482-3f6b0580c62a.gif
Oh, geez, "proverbial"? Maybe she didn't notice.
geeznoticeproverbial
↓
177fd9d9-752d-4033-8d7a-5d98378ca723.gif
Malcolm, can you hand me the chalk?
chalkhandmalcolm
↓
bfebc9e0-4eaf-4b79-a412-4f5a15acfc8f.gif
It's right there next to the proverbial cheese dip.
cheeseproverbial
↓
b7da921f-5d6f-48ce-8339-33fa07c20fc3.gif
- Okay, I know it was a little stilted. - No, I thought it was right
↓
893e763f-3b46-4459-b70f-f5a4d8b0f2e7.gif
- on the proverbial money. - All right.
moneyproverbial
↓
4897f785-8f4a-4b89-a517-2e302381a304.gif
Sorry. Did I hit the proverbial sore spot?
proverbialsorespot
↓
edca22cd-3244-4d83-8b90-fee36b08c043.gif
You know, you may think that's flirting, but it's not.
flirting
↓
b58ab248-baee-4a5b-a466-fe193f06d4b0.gif
It's just hostility.
↓
0a160a52-0dee-4249-8342-f52fc2dca9e9.gif
No, I'm pretty sure it's flirting.
flirting
↓
5cf69bb4-3bf0-430a-a6b0-1604e843af0a.gif
- Really? - I guess I'm not as good
↓
075550b2-5322-4868-bde6-d3902252c5a0.gif
at this as I thought.
↓
3672067d-0178-4e4a-aff0-7507ebdec13c.gif
Before we're old?
↓
729c8bd6-fcba-4f37-a7ab-56b98b123fa9.gif
Son, these truffles are really expensive.
expensive
↓
f5681646-6492-4601-ae4d-26384d0b0331.gif
And if you lost your money, it's really not my problem.
lostmoneyproblem
↓
5f47993b-6f00-478b-98e8-82695ee1de75.gif
But... they told me to get truffles.
↓
b00b953d-8d71-4a5e-9508-dbeab1d533ae.gif
I don't know why, but...
↓
406763f6-8d02-4530-9e19-31269e7ddd8d.gif
my parents tell me this is going to be a very special Thanksgiving.
parentsspecialthanksgiving
↓
7507fa4c-5da5-4c28-a70f-bc2e297fa2f8.gif
My boss is a jackass anyway.
bossjackass
↓
c9bce995-fca6-40ec-afb3-b550b9f2d401.gif
Thank [coughs] you.
coughs
↓
1d04ee2c-8e67-4529-9225-e86d0eaeea38.gif
I saw you talking to Francis, Lois.
francislois
↓
fafe5e0d-a291-42a3-8cb7-eb2c9ad51fca.gif
You couldn't stay out of it, could you? You had to drive a wedge.
drivewedge
↓
b99339f2-ff3c-4efa-9c0b-ab44213dde95.gif
Hal, I told him that Piama was right and that he has to apologize to her.
apologizepiama
↓
3400f9c1-8c11-4845-91f8-465220a6b271.gif
Okay. I'm not smart enough to figure out what you're up to,
figuresmart
↓
09a8c061-564d-4a12-8490-dc19b0a581a5.gif
but when something bad happens, I am blaming you.
blaminghappens
↓
e3dc640e-ed5f-4e05-b83f-e1803b7cc168.gif
Dad, what are these?
↓
6cd758f9-9c3f-477b-a9ec-10e244af354c.gif
- Minced onions. - Minced?
onions
↓
2e1a6305-0e83-47c4-907f-6b8683cd7a34.gif
I specifically asked for diced.
askedspecifically
↓
b3da4301-0a46-4002-8461-5bc5abd65442.gif
Come on, Dad!
↓
f7b74150-1ab5-421f-a941-64e300ef55ba.gif
- Don't take that tone with me, Reese. - This isn't fun.
funreesetone
↓
f0eff1af-79a4-4f7c-bf5b-f0831c433ace.gif
Fun? No, Dewey, this is not fun. Neither one of you seems to understand.
deweyfunseems
↓
21ddb6ce-4ca4-4a98-895f-bfff33040cd3.gif
We are not playing games here.
gamesplayingplaying-games
↓
747aafd4-f9f0-4ac0-b3d3-d05a43f9bb17.gif
- There are lives at stake. - No, there aren't.
livesstake
↓
403a8965-1931-4b62-ac1b-7908551efbd0.gif
Okay, but it's very important.
↓
bc8bebb4-77da-4213-82b7-29c2fe6ed3a7.gif
We're creating something special, something great, something beautiful.
creatingspecial
↓
3c31bacb-aac6-4def-8edc-858658bc5e98.gif
Why is my wallet in my other pocket?
pocketwallet
↓
9515f906-6e69-40ea-a9a8-76726560997d.gif
Can we stay focused, Dad?
focused
↓
aea9c900-4f54-4df3-948f-641b2a9db5f4.gif
There was $80 in here.
↓
1f7d5f95-150b-4150-bd01-05226a06dc02.gif
I had to. The cheese course was a joke.
cheesecoursejoke
↓
a77f488d-57e6-4b44-8337-ea6c293d415c.gif
Reese, you are in big trouble. And you know what?
reesetrouble
↓
c2913f85-97bf-4f3c-b964-deebed64d4e3.gif
I have had it with this.
↓
0b6efbd2-b283-4ceb-aa93-25e54fdd75c3.gif
I'm through!
↓
1bf9efc0-c133-4ca9-8c19-1263c38bf19d.gif
With the helping part. I'm still doing the eating part.
eatinghelpingpart
↓
68773ffb-e822-4cea-8890-62361b35bc29.gif
Fine, go. I don't need you. I still have Dewey.
dewey
↓
2ab0b4ea-ebb9-4579-bba1-629c491c2d13.gif
He's twice the assistant entremetier that you'll ever be!
assistanttwice
↓
0d5342a0-eabe-430f-8b41-405b01298b8b.gif
Why haven't you talked to her yet?
talked
↓
7a282bcd-d5af-4b2d-8ef2-725833f44632.gif
She won't let me.
↓
ffad8313-9e9d-428b-a455-9741750886a6.gif
Every time I go near her, she walks out of the room.
nearroomwalks
↓
3631d240-393c-402e-9952-c0e77f8038bd.gif
Piama, I know that you and I have had our differences.
differencespiama
↓
8a24928d-e7c4-4cf4-b4e1-e38194e07a18.gif
Oh, you mean the cold, uncomfortable silences
colduncomfortable
↓
0b3e7f54-ea57-42c0-a940-7d48ed712031.gif
broken by the occasional veiled insult?
brokeninsultoccasional
↓
acca329b-818d-47b6-841e-f070b3b39890.gif
I'm not sure I would have put it like that.
↓
558db545-5315-434b-88fa-965fcaaf5327.gif
Look. Here's what I want to say.
↓
c3b80318-5926-4f8a-b61f-6743849191d0.gif
I believe in marriage.
believemarriage
↓
3def88a2-9906-443e-b57f-0af2239d597a.gif
I believe in every marriage.
believemarriage
↓
33def355-baef-45b5-aa1b-6664b8f0a0a1.gif
And I think if you just listen to Francis, you'll like what you hear.
francis
↓
6947dc45-ba9a-4f08-bde2-6ee4d07f8c77.gif
Fine.
↓
7096d8e2-e6ae-4c3b-bfd0-92bc39d42e68.gif
Francis.
francis
↓
b3e46708-f080-4ab2-8397-05997d18ab59.gif
I'll just leave you two to talk.
↓
114fb62c-6d7b-4a8e-a332-bc1e36804022.gif
You know what? I didn't want to butt in, but I'm glad I did.
buttglad
↓
450fff1d-f483-444b-9a4b-816fda42490b.gif
- What did you do, Lois? - I talked to Piama.
loispiamatalked
↓
064e535a-ca43-4697-b4c2-80c2e9671072.gif
At least she seemed interested in listening
interestedleastlisteningseemed
↓
ec541cec-c1a0-4d70-be55-ab3cd5128906.gif
to what Francis had to say.
francis
↓
9a30cd18-1a51-4446-bec9-e2c1c8a6f019.gif
He's going to tell her exactly what I told him to say.
↓
49fe18f5-8e05-4c26-8141-d030b8562a5d.gif
What business is it of yours if I don't want to wear thong underpants?
businessthongunderpantswear
↓
036ff077-f467-42ae-9498-b14178754f18.gif
- What? - Piama, I didn't get to finish.
finishpiama
↓
bdc67e0f-ad9d-4abd-9a7d-b0ae0a528871.gif
See what happens, Lois?
happenslois
↓
4031a5a3-8771-4131-8d03-10f3b9c4738d.gif
I don't care what shape we cut the mushrooms, I quit.
caremushroomsquitshape
↓
60f9f8da-7f15-4f8d-95d3-b593bfac3bf7.gif
This is why you're always going to be a little man
↓
30d89849-6846-47b1-8f7c-c7c042bc996f.gif
living in a little world.
livingworld
↓
2a610061-d901-4b75-9ba0-d7a370f9511d.gif
I don't need you. I don't need anyone.
↓
c6eb32e1-b09f-4ed0-915e-c5d725b9d6c1.gif
This is the worst Thanksgiving ever!
thanksgivingworst
↓
6fe29d1e-21d0-422c-8e5c-9cb23763177e.gif
This is the best Thanksgiving ever.
bestthanksgiving
↓
e56861c2-9564-4ff6-8831-ccf65bdb8c03.gif
I'm gonna memorize this moment so I never forget it.
forgetmemorizemoment
↓
bba2e23d-1ba9-49f1-a732-d2a5d035b1f5.gif
This is the best Thanksgiving ever.
bestthanksgiving
↓
20e04259-8ceb-40f3-90b9-78aaf5d99772.gif
I'm gonna memorize this moment so I never forget it.
forgetmemorizemoment
↓
c36f5088-1dc5-4ad5-a05f-f13f7289e3f6.gif
Where is everybody?
everybody
↓
43e41cbc-2989-4b6d-9c65-d214f2719af9.gif
Fireworks?
fireworks
↓
bbb0b128-a6f1-494e-9744-4cf324955f86.gif
Bastards.
bastards
↓
0ee0e40e-86ef-482d-8127-a4b57a7d903f.gif
No one came and got us. Well, the hell with them.
↓
3c1b5414-bfa6-4d7a-9a69-8e135d33ebea.gif
Let me do the talking.
↓
7809f205-8a96-4b22-a7f6-ea24c75ec4e7.gif
- Good evening to you, sir. - Oh, hi.
evening
↓
8523f55d-bcb9-43c5-83f0-c5c6e1f35e48.gif
- Where is everyone? - Studying.
studying
↓
19020cc4-6450-44d1-9ccd-438f49e397fc.gif
Probably. That would be my guess.
↓
873e6d14-8693-40c0-b55e-b6c656b70e5e.gif
What, is he asleep?
asleep
↓
9c43453b-770a-4437-ab4f-02eb54288263.gif
I think he ate too much turkey.
turkey
↓
dd94faa2-7d09-4fdd-a32e-5d23528e4fee.gif
- All that kryptonite. - There's pie upstairs.
upstairs
↓
b87bf68c-29c8-4712-8661-64484bb041c9.gif
Thank you. That's a very generous offer.
generousgenerous-offeroffer
↓
b71af599-31c3-45c8-b2db-d36f59a8caa3.gif
I know the pilgrims, you know,
↓
16b6430e-1cd0-48cd-ac94-b8a2627041b7.gif
- facing that first bitter cold winter. - Malcolm, he's gone.
bittercoldfacinggonemalcolmwinter
↓
32e8a2ba-12f7-41f7-ad29-b104ba11477d.gif
I really would have appreciated a little bit of pie. That might--
appreciatedmight
↓
05ee22c2-a73b-4533-80d6-12f4016cea38.gif
Ow!
↓
1f9e28ca-5be3-4070-afe2-6547d68b0ed5.gif
I think I'm getting better at reading her signals.
readingsignals
↓
3ff8fc72-4831-484c-93a5-e40884b5df37.gif
Are you okay?
↓
283d03b7-15fb-42a4-ac5c-d79912900378.gif
I'm back.
↓
f82a8169-6c52-4068-814c-3c2b53c74a7f.gif
Come on, let's do it.
↓
92245777-c10d-468b-99ed-56877a7eb6a9.gif
You gonna?
↓
b124f7ba-56e2-4ab1-82d7-852f94e4ba2f.gif
I gotta go.
↓
d41ce734-bd6c-4aea-9fe9-e6d55a44f10c.gif
My brother will kick your ass if you tell.
brotherkick
↓
ee01f9ad-8126-4fd9-a15f-0fbca3868ef2.gif
What is all this stuff?
stuff
↓
e3253314-401f-4a1b-b666-65cf3746a811.gif
Piama, good, I need you. Here, stir this pot.
piamastir
↓
41999325-6e91-4835-93d1-f912feabe117.gif
All right, all right.
↓
ed657288-8b6d-4283-abbc-90a681f836d3.gif
I just have to stuff the acorn squash rings
ringssquashstuff
↓
2561458c-230e-4bd0-8ac5-4a0879167dbd.gif
with roasted pepper and polenta, sear the scallops with--
pepperroasted
↓
578d14e8-8720-4a98-9b7f-53cae6ca1679.gif
The monkfish. Where are the oven mitts?
mittsoven
↓
7d38e27b-7b2e-41b8-9bb5-035c39dc04cd.gif
- You want me to look? - No, keep stirring.
stirring
↓
a1b3aab2-c7cf-4715-99da-ea0075a1e6a8.gif
No place mats, no tea towels. I need something.
placetowels
↓
263eb88e-18bd-4826-b2c7-bec40844c98b.gif
I'll get a towel from the bathroom.
bathroomtowel
↓
366ddb8d-cd11-474b-a1d2-fbb7add468ae.gif
No, there's not enough time! It has to come out at exactly 5:38.
↓
7fb0d55d-159f-40a2-b16f-9147332863f2.gif
- Not 5:37, not 5:39. - What are you going to do?
↓
46e05c9b-644d-41eb-a30d-9c7b0637c28a.gif
There's only one thing I can do.
↓
b98466bb-b5cc-4392-8377-f59a3a5c21c1.gif
- Reese, no! - Yes!
reese
↓
45bdd72c-1969-4310-939f-13bddf681ca1.gif
Clear me a space!
clearspace
↓
24574fe1-8b23-4db6-afa3-fe02bed62dcf.gif
- Where? - Move the oven mitts!
mittsoven
↓
0419e25a-4f8d-4edc-bb73-74e31486c13e.gif
Where is Malcolm?
malcolm
↓
85966b7d-7d90-4650-9f6c-0f203adc5021.gif
He knows he's supposed to be here. This is Thanksgiving.
knowssupposedthanksgiving
↓
e8c4da2d-1c5c-4123-bebf-40f3b121f9e5.gif
Yeah, he certainly wouldn't want to miss this.
certainlymiss
↓
4410c5f3-a9b3-4a86-aa38-51311ad1dfc5.gif
Well, I've done it. The feast is about to start.
feaststart
↓
e1ad40d6-ac76-4637-a617-a0340f04a702.gif
It's about time.
↓
9b58e883-62b6-4a71-b5cb-b0e66effd08b.gif
I'm not even hungry.
hungry
↓
5a199d1a-463e-4ad2-9be9-2db7afebed1e.gif
Can I be excused?
excused
↓
5b3115df-37a7-4c84-9ee6-262790104636.gif
Ooh.
↓
d74494c9-0a48-445d-95e1-6bb9188bdd90.gif
Oh, my...
↓
620c6977-e959-48bf-8439-2f847b1010ca.gif
Wow.
↓
c5883583-bc76-4391-93a0-ef0a7ca49169.gif
- Wow. - Ah!
↓
37f5b49f-f7ce-4ccf-a5f2-ad1fa4954abe.gif
The turkey monkfish.
turkey
↓
ac4e6af3-9b53-46fc-a2c4-e0891d53a4d6.gif
I'll say Grace.
grace
↓
c07c333f-35e4-40c9-9360-f0007516ae07.gif
Thank you, Lord, for giving me the talent
givinglordtalent
↓
14833ec4-8b82-4128-ae7a-ab128d6174ee.gif
to express my love for my family in the only way I know how.
expressfamilylove
↓
560c4991-cbc6-48aa-bd6a-eddf1d2522f6.gif
- Amen. - Amen.
amenamen-amen
↓
5ac56f0a-da20-4f9e-a056-7f1693a78f63.gif
Hey, party people.
party
↓
9f505865-4168-4c38-81a5-65c81175ede7.gif
Oh, my God, you're drunk.
drunk
↓
ba592db8-9fe9-49fc-9f49-661be6d910ff.gif
What on earth is wrong with you?
earth
↓
5e25680c-56bd-486a-8d96-811c140b98bb.gif
I will tell you what is wrong with me, on earth.
earth
↓
1cf4eaaf-48eb-4e52-a591-f969a1ef740c.gif
The reason why I drank is because I'm a coward, and probably gay.
cowarddrankreason
↓
5302e312-1700-4643-99b2-f2ab644d1165.gif
I let a perfect opportunity just slip right through my fingers,
fingersopportunityperfectperfect-opportunityslip
↓
196258b1-bc51-46a6-9462-dca4227945db.gif
and, you know, I thought I'd cap it off by getting stinking drunk.
drunkstinking
↓
74703381-1b30-49ed-812a-f1e6797c13e1.gif
What do you think of your golden boy now, Mom?
golden
↓
7fd97180-2450-4cb9-8ebc-7c34efd4055f.gif
What golden boy?
golden
↓
e825043f-f95c-4b26-8168-896ac8120fc7.gif
Get in your room. I'll deal with you later.
dealroom
↓
946094ae-632e-4c1f-8842-9897f6cf816c.gif
I will go to my room when I am finished with what I have to say.
finishedroom
↓
a411860d-45d1-43f5-9697-6bd06b20cebc.gif
Hey, come on. Some of the shrimp is still good.
shrimp
↓
d7ef2961-2050-4c16-88ef-278c77f8afa7.gif
I just left her there on the floor and staggered home.
floorhomeleft
↓
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To shower us with affection.
affectionshower
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Yeah.
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Well, it's nothing to be ashamed of.
ashamed
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I mean, sure, the distance wasn't much of a factor,
distancefactor
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but the volume was impressive.
impressivevolume
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- So, you gonna see this girl again? - Are you kidding?
girlkidding
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I can't believe it.
believe
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We were alone. She wanted to do it.
alonewanted
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I was right there.
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How could I have chickened out?
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Dude, you didn't take advantage of a drunk chick.
advantagechickdrunk
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Mom must be slipping.
mustslipping
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All I got was no TV, video games or computer.
computergamesvideovideo-games
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I have to clean all the kitchen and bathroom tile with a toothbrush,
bathroomcleankitchentiletoothbrush
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wash every window in the house,
housewashwindow
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and change Jamie's diaper for the next six months, but...
changediaperjamiesmonths
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No, you got, like, nine other things after you passed out.
ninepassed
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You have got to do something, Lois.
lois
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Piama just asked me for a ride to the bus station.
askedpiamaridestation
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I thought you didn't want me to interfere.
interfere
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Okay, I take back everything I said.
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You can interfere as much as you want, just fix it.
interfere
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Well, I'm ready.
ready
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Piama, there's just one thing I want to say.
piama
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I know that breaking up is painful, but I think in the long run,
breakingpainful
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you'll find it's for the best.
best
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- For the best? - Well, Francis, let's be serious.
bestfrancisserious
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This marriage never had a chance.
chancemarriage
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I just think that you'll be better friends once you're divorced.
divorcedfriends
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Who said we're getting divorced? I love Francis.
divorcedfrancislove
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You can't stand to see anyone happy, can you, Mom?
happystand
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Come on, honey, let's go get my things.
honey
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They're out in the trash. Sorry, honey.
honeytrash
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That's okay, sweetie.
sweetie
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Once again, you've underestimated us.
underestimated
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We're not the little dancing monkeys you thought we were.
dancingmonkeys
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Thanks, honey.
honeythanksthanks-honey