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Malcolm in the Middle

Season 4, Episode 14 โ€” Hal's Friend

TMDB episode metadata
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Boys, you see what I have?
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This is a movie I asked you to return three weeks ago.
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- What if we wanna watch it again? - I found it in the dishwasher.
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Twenty-one days times 2.99 a day, that's...
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- 62.79. - What?
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What is it gonna take for you boys to learn some responsibility?
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You can't just go through life letting things slide!
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Sooner or later, you are gonna learn that--
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Is it the 10th already?
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โ™ช Yes, no, maybe โ™ช
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โ™ช I don't know โ™ช
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โ™ช Life is unfair โ™ช
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Mom's been at her sister's for a month, resting while she's pregnant.
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Can I use a glass?
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- How soon? - A few weeks.
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And, Reese, she wanted you to sweep the leaves off the garage roof
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- when you get home from school today. - What?
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But today is the one day that Alison's parents aren't home.
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To interfere with our homework.
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Nobody is being controlled by your mother.
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For instance, I'm inviting an old friend over tonight.
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We're never gonna tell your mother about it,
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it doesn't mean we're being controlled. To repeat.
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We were inseparable in high school.
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But seriously, your mother cannot find out he was in this house.
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- Dad, you're hurting me. - Oh.
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Sorry, sweetheart.
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Malcolm, Stevie.
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Hi, Mrs. Hooper.
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Do either of you hooligans know where my son, Dabney, is?
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I don't know. He was excused from gym. What isa nervous eyelid anyway?
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It's an allergic reaction to either gluten, whey, or air.
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I suppose you boys are coming to Dabney's birthday party tonight.
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What are you doing on the pavement? Huh?
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I told you to walk on the grass.
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There's another guy who doesn't let me walk on the grass.
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Fine, you like the pavement so much, kiss it.
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Oh, my God, Dabney.
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You come away from there. Did you make eye contact with that big boy?
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When you're in danger, you tuck and cower.
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I was cowering, he wouldn't let me tuck.
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โ™ช I'm a little teapot, short and-- โ™ช
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Ow!
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โ™ช Here is my handle here is my-- โ™ช
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Ow!
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โ™ช When I get all steamed up Hear me-- โ™ช
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Ow!
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โ™ช Tip me over and pour me-- โ™ช
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Ow!
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Not it.
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- Hello? - This is a recorded greeting
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- from the Malgacore Financial Services. - Hi, Mom.
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- Congratulations... - We're fine.
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Okay, I'll ask him. Mom wants to know if you swept the leaves off the garage.
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I'm doing it now.
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Piama called, she and Gretchen got to Tucson okay.
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- Just us guys. - Where do you want your things, Otto?
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Just put them in Francis' room.
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- What? - Oh, and Gretchen left this for you.
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What? Hold on. Why is he bringing your things to my room?
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Because I'm staying with you this weekend.
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You're planning on sleeping in my bed? With me?
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It would be presumptuous of me to ask a guest.
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It has to be cleaned because I'm stupid."
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Not it.
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I wasn't talking about her.
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but does he really have to stay up all night?
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Saturday morning is the best time for riding.
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Okay. Now I get it. Just go easy on him.
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You're a lot smarter than he is. I gotta go.
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Whoo! Whoo!
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This floor is so cold.
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Get me under those warm blankets.
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Ah!
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This is sort of weird.
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I haven't had a sleep-over since I was in third grade.
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I was at Jeffery Feldman's house and his mom, uh...
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- Otto, what the hell are you doing? - I know, I am a notorious blanket hog.
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- Ah! Otto. - Oh. Sorry.
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Popsicle toes.
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Push. Push.
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Look. I'm starting to crown.
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Get this horrible thing out of me!
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- Can he open presents now? - Yeah, can I?
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Oh, okay, but go slow.
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We don't want to end up covered in paper cuts, do we?
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Boy, this is such a great party.
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It's twice the turnout we had last year.
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Can I open Grandpa's present first, Mom?
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Well, we might as well get that out of the way.
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The XJ 7000.
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Cool. What is it?
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It's a paintball gun. It's, like, the best one you can buy.
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- I'll take that. - But, Mom.
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When will your thoughtless grandfather learn?
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These gifts do nothing but over-stimulate you.
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And when the so-called fun ends,
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you're left all red and giggly and up until 9:00.
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Well, not this time. Give it to Mommy.
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That's okay.
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I wouldn't know how to paint with it anyway.
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Why don't you open one of my gifts?
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A new hairbrush.
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Thanks, Mom.
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Want to give it a try?
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Sure.
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Count down from a hundred.
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You boys can help.
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One hundred.
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Ninety-nine.
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- Ninety-eight. - Ninety-eight.
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- Ninety-seven. - Ninety-seven.
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Oh! Ha, ha! Here he is!
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Hey, you big jackass!
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It was just Mrs. Haggerty turning around in our driveway.
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How come Mom won't let you hang out with Larry?
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Oh, she thinks he's a bad influence.
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You know Mom, she's always blowing things out of proportion.
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Just like at our wedding.
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Okay, he missed the ceremony,
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but he did show up with these two totally hot...
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Well, that's a bad example.
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Oh, there was this time in New Orleans when we...
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No, that's no good either.
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Oh! Here's one.
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Our families went to the same church...
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Ah, well, you know your mother. She just makes stuff up.
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He's here. Dewey!
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- Whoo! - Whoo-hoo!
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- Pass complete! - Larry!
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Hal. Man, you look like crap.
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You, too, buddy. Come on in!
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Boys, I'd like you to meet Larry Ross.
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These are my boys. This is Reese and Dewey.
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Malcolm is at a birthday party.
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So, you got custody, huh?
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Good for you.
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Little word to the wise, I heard, uh,
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you should talk nice about the ex, even if she...
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No, no, no. I'm still married to Lois.
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- Oh, really? - Oh, yeah.
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Well, that's great, man.
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That's just great.
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There's a little bar down the way that--
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No, no, she's out of town for a while.
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Sweet.
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First beer, 7:04.
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One of you kids ought to write that down.
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Isn't he great?
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This is kind of a landmark night for me.
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My first psychological trauma not caused by my mother.
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But I guess I do owe Otto for everything he's done for me.
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I mean, he and Gretchen have just been amazing.
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Gretchen.
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I wonder what was in that note?
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They had to take that tractor apart piece by piece
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to get it out of the teacher's lounge, but you never gave me up, man!
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What happened?
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I mean, look at me.
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Middle-aged, lousy job.
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Dumpy little house that can't hold the kids I have
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- and another one on the way. - Don't get down on yourself, man.
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The only reason you're a failure
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is because society hates free spirits like you and me.
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It's the price we pay for being in the vanguard.
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You remember the way Dawkins screwed us over?
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- Who? - Dawkins.
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Our boss back at Carmello's.
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You remember senior year, Labor Day weekend?
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The kitchen flooded. We spent the weekend cleaning it up.
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And then he stiffed us out of 200 bucks.
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Wait. Yeah!
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Unbelievable.
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Two hundred bucks.
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I mean, you take that, plus the interest over all these years,
โ†“
01b136e6-9cee-40f3-ae91-964f9bbdf62c.gif
we're rolling in it.
โ†“
6e6e9921-5a6e-407a-b13c-3fd2f669c560.gif
Boy, if I had that money right now, I could afford to build a nursery.
โ†“
d5000450-7967-4885-8f79-e75669b172f3.gif
Thanks a lot, Dawkins.
โ†“
9ee49029-1baf-45c1-a87a-34467405ae8a.gif
You want a nursery, Hal?
โ†“
b27c283e-6b56-46d9-9c36-384c7f87dbf9.gif
We could do it.
โ†“
a4e004c7-f9eb-4c18-b766-1358148fbe16.gif
Yeah, I got a contractor's license.
โ†“
95d3b17f-50bb-4de8-9ceb-bc3244142997.gif
We could add on to your bedroom here no problem at all.
โ†“
1b80f748-fdbd-453a-a98d-07fb330a0d6b.gif
- What? - You knock out this wall.
โ†“
94f30b10-fad8-4326-b729-0ea3df5e3d23.gif
You extend out a little bit. We could do the whole thing for cost.
โ†“
1f9c0245-65f2-4902-8c00-cf13795c8624.gif
We'll make do.
โ†“
e2a7b5c4-fc91-4518-98fb-2c515acb8488.gif
You're not being fair to the baby, Hal.
โ†“
13c3f0b3-16bf-47a4-a3f6-5cc660763504.gif
- I know, but-- - Come on. Eye of the tiger!
โ†“
bc317d45-3ef3-4769-820d-249ced2c0f1a.gif
We create our own futures.
โ†“
c1275afd-5bf8-49c6-9cb4-4ea03c8ec453.gif
Well, you know, you do what you can.
โ†“
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I mean, we'll be okay as long as we--
โ†“
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Oh, my God!
โ†“
678ffccc-88e2-41e1-8ccb-970e2f3668b9.gif
Now you're committed. Let's get to work.
โ†“
39b0bc82-7f06-432b-ba2d-64cabeabb673.gif
Larry, I don't believe you!
โ†“
641d9466-d14a-48ff-bf3c-4d950dc52823.gif
I invited you over for a couple of beers, and you punch a hole in my wall?
โ†“
c040bc33-8edc-457f-bde5-1cbb49ec15f2.gif
This is exactly why I haven't seen you in all these--
โ†“
eb8ca480-77b2-4dff-a977-6e589fde8701.gif
That little bat did all that?
โ†“
1f12c445-2618-4a9d-8169-8ab5346265f3.gif
This is great.
โ†“
5172d750-a7de-4060-9ae2-3b88943cedd0.gif
Wait till Lois sees this.
โ†“
5f5e6ce6-3005-4c2a-b6ca-dc1d77b3aa29.gif
Dad?
โ†“
b624b676-7aa8-481a-9a5b-be0a04227b01.gif
I don't know what he did last night,
โ†“
137c171f-b659-42b1-b105-709972d65d7f.gif
but there's no hot water, and the toilet's full of sawdust.
โ†“
80650f9e-8aee-4220-8ec7-cab5cf3ad33e.gif
If Dad wakes up by dinner, tell him I'm at Dabney's.
โ†“
93648bfb-693e-4a29-9e09-6965fe2b679a.gif
Okay.
โ†“
ce57d7ec-b706-468a-a1b9-7a6c0d79791e.gif
Good afternoon. Current time...
โ†“
ededfaf9-df75-4f9f-998f-13c7d1c9389f.gif
Yeah, Mom. My bed's going in the sunny spot.
โ†“
332f8a7a-f88d-49fb-a3ba-d40cb7a682c4.gif
Reese's bed is going in the closet like you wanted.
โ†“
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This is ridiculous. We're never gonna make that movie.
โ†“
1a1392e7-391d-4261-9ac8-638d3afce567.gif
I'm moving as fast as I can, okay?
โ†“
939ee800-72d2-4691-ab62-cb447a353216.gif
He's doing a really good job, Mom.
โ†“
7f5e0dc5-de4c-4bd0-96a4-b69cff974eb8.gif
You may wanna give him a break.
โ†“
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Thanks, Dewey. You're a good brother.
โ†“
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She said no.
โ†“
e805fc0d-d38f-4349-8f2b-1aa5c65b10c3.gif
Don't you think it's a little strange that your mom keeps calling
โ†“
0b172271-c716-4077-8bed-51f0b2fdba85.gif
just so you can do Dewey's homework
โ†“
955209f6-1aa2-4700-a413-4831f59b174f.gif
and fix Dewey's bike, and move Dewey's furniture around?
โ†“
78718c00-24c2-4156-9ead-192d17325a3b.gif
- What are you trying to say? - It's obvious, isn't it?
โ†“
7fdc712f-a1e3-4627-b5c2-59e3c3909539.gif
She wants you to do stuff for Dewey.
โ†“
b3cf3647-1787-4116-8df6-d542fbcdb71a.gif
Hey, if you wanna talk to her about it.
โ†“
c54e6d25-0b23-47b7-a0e7-b7868fa9f1b0.gif
As a matter of fact, I do.
โ†“
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Hello? Yes, good afternoon to you, too.
โ†“
173a83f1-57d1-4276-a6d3-e440739eb450.gif
Well, thank you, but I really don't need to know what time it is.
โ†“
fc9677ac-4ca8-4c44-92a3-cb930d39877d.gif
Wait, listen to me!
โ†“
28ed67a8-d5c2-4251-8bbb-62b54bbcf8a1.gif
- Listen to me! - Forget it, there's no talking to her.
โ†“
a10bc892-7e60-44a7-b00d-4cda4e688256.gif
Goodbye.
โ†“
198d2dab-dac3-4d44-a146-3971b3704d00.gif
Okay, good afternoon.
โ†“
f2ccb0cd-ee69-4d04-b229-433358b9fcd3.gif
God, she's polite and rude at the same time.
โ†“
705fd7da-54da-4359-a74c-5798e20388d8.gif
Ow!
โ†“
bb51bc9e-0452-4005-a9f2-d857cbddcaff.gif
- Careful! - Hold still, Mom.
โ†“
cca5d394-0b8a-4f13-bbec-79f61efe649b.gif
This is a tough area for us.
โ†“
ff88c09e-92ea-4782-a574-556d9488dbad.gif
You get that. I'm going to go hop in the shower.
โ†“
4ce8ae7e-f6da-4f5b-9d9a-40faebbc604e.gif
If that's the Thompsons, tell them to move their car,
โ†“
21cde159-d455-4d78-bf43-c521146859c9.gif
then they'll get their cat back.
โ†“
09644e86-4d3f-454d-b6db-5ea5291b6647.gif
- Malcolm. - Where's your mom?
โ†“
ee675536-39b9-4e66-8c1a-68bc205448fc.gif
- In the shower. - Good.
โ†“
1783d019-1b7c-4c3e-9071-a150fd4eb900.gif
Then I won't have to put laxative in her tea.
โ†“
3ef3e055-8c4c-4751-858f-8fcba8db702f.gif
We have to meet Stevie at paintball.
โ†“
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Malcolm, I can't go.
โ†“
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Mom and I are gonna put on our pajamas and watch videos.
โ†“
84a2268a-800b-4e5f-96b3-3dde117b44a1.gif
Dabney, your grandfather got you this amazing gun,
โ†“
5faa29f1-219b-4837-b084-eadb933b9cc8.gif
and you have to use it.
โ†“
7009db83-37c6-4b11-9b4f-45351b8e76e0.gif
Malcolm, I know you think I'm a mama's boy--
โ†“
ed87fb93-697c-458a-bb12-040e0e7ab3be.gif
No. Mama's boys are laughing at you withtheir mothers.
โ†“
e8e4a850-ce2c-4688-a129-60b180e6cb03.gif
Come on, I saw the look in your eye when you opened it.
โ†“
54ec2721-5877-4111-8aad-5ed76dc70571.gif
Admit it. You're dying to do this.
โ†“
4837eacf-df13-4917-be5b-cdd7d1cef8dc.gif
You just have to break free from your mom.
โ†“
25736f40-746f-4554-80f6-7328bad60a21.gif
Malcolm, you don't understand.
โ†“
fcbd8a42-cef8-45df-acd7-91c65ff53845.gif
In exactly 17 minutes, she's gonna open that shower door
โ†“
9498fcf3-eee5-4142-bae6-d27c46cb4333.gif
and expect to see me there with a warm, cozy towel.
โ†“
82992f63-0c8e-44a4-b3d2-dc5b15c3a3da.gif
All right, let's go.
โ†“
b3cba04d-6f6c-4221-93a7-fc25d53247ab.gif
Oh, my God!
โ†“
03e635c2-0a93-4d28-9937-b16b3b77f22d.gif
Oh.
โ†“
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Damn it, Larry.
โ†“
01e41fbe-fb11-4288-87e0-942e5b80a8bf.gif
Okay, think, think.
โ†“
66b3bb92-3111-4762-a083-ac68bdf037f2.gif
How can I blame this on the boys?
โ†“
9cf85260-8147-48e1-b69b-e48dd9334c49.gif
Good morning, princess.
โ†“
c64d79bf-ad51-4c04-887c-d26cd5b2284a.gif
Larry. What have we done?
โ†“
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I've actually made my crappy house even crappier.
โ†“
fc032f3f-7f5b-4585-bc22-fc744d43fea4.gif
- We got a lot of work to do. - You're damn right we do.
โ†“
08314e8a-c29d-47ac-8e01-cc56a7a55f28.gif
First things first, we're gonna pay a little visit on our old friend Dawkins.
โ†“
929880f6-0def-4e42-922e-a5a6bf95a9ff.gif
- What? - Did a little research last night.
โ†“
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Turns out he lives in a place called Carlson Estates.
โ†“
e32e23e7-5141-4f96-8729-a5591a2703e6.gif
Estates, man! Can you believe that? He's living a life of luxury.
โ†“
ca51a0d1-b388-40a1-b9b7-f250da589487.gif
You don't even have a wall. We're gonna get this guy.
โ†“
8a700af3-4537-4eb5-8aa4-4cf388a72026.gif
- Larry, we have to fix this. - This?
โ†“
b29115de-7445-4d6e-8da1-d79e4a300b29.gif
This is nothing. Two days, tops.
โ†“
a12fd26e-482b-4e04-9c5c-ca4f901d6c54.gif
You lay your foundation here, zam.
โ†“
aedade7a-c028-4277-9d67-5e806d2ddb8d.gif
Little electrical, zing, zing.
โ†“
de781a7a-e4a8-476d-b507-02eab73334d3.gif
Put in a bay window, vrunt! You're done.
โ†“
a7623e67-d1b2-4b3d-b4b0-8829097fbda3.gif
Now, let's go get Dawkins.
โ†“
204f8a61-8316-416c-85ea-9d731375b187.gif
Okay.
โ†“
3d317454-07ef-4d97-bc13-0f33957e8ad7.gif
Someone was out of bed bright and early this morning.
โ†“
dd03abd7-1528-475e-be2b-33c406085573.gif
Yeah, Gretchen left me a note. Can't seem to find it anywhere.
โ†“
0f7481f0-4b60-4a57-9c6d-f8600b1ad09b.gif
I think it may have been about your violent night terrors.
โ†“
7b1c317d-7184-471c-880d-e0e641ed9f54.gif
What are you talking about?
โ†“
4db5928c-b1aa-40f1-b961-dc39442184d8.gif
I don't speak terrified German,
โ†“
cef89840-f013-413a-bf6a-1289c38768d6.gif
but you must have been having some pretty horrific dreams.
โ†“
b9a25b8c-d2c2-4079-aa51-df999d016766.gif
- That's ridiculous. I never dream. - What?
โ†“
01c491a0-95f0-4193-9bc8-4e328b77e515.gif
I never dream. I go to sleep,
โ†“
f1696e9b-832e-413f-9b6d-08c22010c193.gif
eight hours later, I wake up with a slight sore throat
โ†“
0ab1c4f5-0f26-45b9-b441-4071a945f6c0.gif
just like everybody else.
โ†“
e66f25ea-e942-47ba-a4ad-29442bf02365.gif
You screamed for hours.
โ†“
fab40c20-e56e-4bef-add8-2fc3574494c3.gif
I think it wasyou that had the bad dream.
โ†“
4fccda6a-14bf-49b5-a125-a544c851c828.gif
But don't worry, I know just what to do.
โ†“
14b8a178-470e-443a-b8f7-f6f29cd151f3.gif
I will give you a nice, oily massage before bedtime,
โ†“
8d6f25ee-f5b4-408f-bb48-b19bfa1374b1.gif
you will sleep like a baby.
โ†“
53b5795c-c3d9-45d7-9692-0c60192bfc2e.gif
- This is gonna be sweet. - Once we jump the inner fence,
โ†“
5482dab6-cfc3-4c5c-a2ac-cbdf861edd36.gif
I'll take care of the dogs, you take out the cameras.
โ†“
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He lives in a trailer park.
โ†“
e4576071-3323-4fde-a193-7aed246088f6.gif
Yeah, an awesome trailer park.
โ†“
3abc38ef-e41c-4994-be2c-74930b52f881.gif
I mean, look at that double-wide. You don't got a trailer like that.
โ†“
a17be235-2147-46ae-b97a-d2dfbdae5455.gif
All right, commando mode.
โ†“
0918044d-45a5-4c9d-a7ed-178f9d368e84.gif
All right, you scale the side of the trailer.
โ†“
f6c967dc-d462-43a1-a827-49f7439e157d.gif
See if you can get in up there.
โ†“
7404c1e4-bc42-49b7-b720-8b3cf483f64f.gif
- Okay. - All right, move.
โ†“
484f3afd-ed38-4cad-bab8-d6cb7c602ee6.gif
What's going on out there?
โ†“
471188c2-590c-46a1-8f64-7f6257501e0c.gif
- Larry? Hal? - Mr. Dawkins? Is that you?
โ†“
cf3f8977-e649-4961-911a-89ce996daa63.gif
What a pleasant surprise.
โ†“
7348ee33-dedb-431c-b8e5-3354ba75eca8.gif
Come on in.
โ†“
f0a1aaed-6f7f-4a0d-89d5-a8726b2b6556.gif
- Eh... - I just put some tea on.
โ†“
fe40909f-d6b9-430f-9bb6-6fdc6aca01a3.gif
Stevie, cover me.
โ†“
a9b43bd3-671b-4d34-9f9b-2fb1abbbda09.gif
I'm so glad I dragged Dabney here.
โ†“
7a891d25-7fdf-4002-afc1-d1f55725bdb0.gif
This is exactly the kind of thing he needs.
โ†“
da82b2f2-8c0b-494c-a370-5348c5a034be.gif
Aren't I dead by now?
โ†“
bc8dcd7f-dc25-49eb-9095-307f022761ea.gif
In the game, you are.
โ†“
4500a42b-6de0-4f12-b166-7b5c0ee64e55.gif
Dabney, just fire back.
โ†“
80146924-2b24-423d-b7f4-4c28f65566a4.gif
Don't fire back. And don't move. We're gonna go get more ammo.
โ†“
52af8b1e-7ff9-4ad4-ae3c-1fe8f5128705.gif
Get up.
โ†“
6f3c595c-77b2-4801-8e6e-6e4edd4f9cd2.gif
You have to shoot.
โ†“
ab63460e-fa6b-40f6-888f-c81eb6042d90.gif
- You have to do this. - Mom was right.
โ†“
041a2c8d-e5ea-4d57-800a-9ef7fd9fd1ec.gif
I could be home watching Dark Victory right now.
โ†“
f6a906d5-ce22-4052-9aea-84b21969f9f0.gif
You have to fight back. Just pull the trigger.
โ†“
d98c1f72-1837-4643-a18d-e6bad13cc42f.gif
But there could be adverse consequences.
โ†“
916d971c-60cd-41ad-9eb7-7866b170c393.gif
That is your mother talking.
โ†“
a3379267-994b-454c-a593-019167f8c7f8.gif
Just shoot it.
โ†“
78b2a8f7-55fb-48ad-a579-4d0317c39093.gif
If you wanna be any kind of man, shoot it now.
โ†“
c65a6dbc-a63f-4cb1-8bda-b707e1e27a8e.gif
Haul ass!
โ†“
e4393736-95dd-4273-af29-b9e1d1ee2b6e.gif
Brush your own damn hair!
โ†“
a3eb8aa8-8067-4faa-9b09-cf864c97e50b.gif
Get your own damn towel!
โ†“
44ac6e1e-5b9a-4e57-917d-a024e3f39aaa.gif
One hundred, 99, 98, 97!
โ†“
645bdfb2-b737-4819-8378-d695469cb4e1.gif
I call Dabney's team.
โ†“
be7e9771-2c14-4e9f-9a8d-1830d7f8dc1a.gif
The tea is great.
โ†“
702eb2b2-38ed-40e4-adcf-d71adbe0efa4.gif
I wish I had more to offer you, but the Meals on Wheels van
โ†“
940a3a59-c70c-4ba3-b4e2-9eb08a678a5d.gif
only comes around twice a week now.
โ†“
dced5e20-6c1c-45fb-97a1-da51dd431b45.gif
No, this is fine.
โ†“
04e6de99-32c1-4e78-bfd7-6f9696e6d754.gif
You've been so nice.
โ†“
fae11e59-a866-4b03-b950-29a1f2950554.gif
Can I ask you something?
โ†“
d1955c7d-32a7-4bb4-ac99-67c3d41eb0e2.gif
Larry and I were talking about old times at the restaurant,
โ†“
b515534c-e518-4021-9f1d-e4693e2db624.gif
and a certain Labor Day weekend came up.
โ†“
ae648785-fe6e-4892-8f3b-18df4d4eec8b.gif
Oh, you mean the time you boys flooded the kitchen.
โ†“
f2ce8c7a-78ed-43d0-881d-ead8de5e3813.gif
Huh?
โ†“
964f8286-6c71-46de-aa94-98711575ab98.gif
You two were doing chin-ups on the water pipe.
โ†“
97bd983b-724a-423a-96eb-9a2ffdc97e25.gif
Oh, yeah.
โ†“
4667e2ca-0f66-4d86-a5f3-e40847041886.gif
We busted it.
โ†“
386e9df1-5fd9-46c3-8390-263a7c5c92dd.gif
Larry, I think he's right.
โ†“
69f4b709-ec1f-4140-9bae-b8192e03af0b.gif
Mr. Slocumb didn't want me to give you your paychecks,
โ†“
701b6071-967c-4277-8e54-516b750653bf.gif
but I snuck them to your dads.
โ†“
f50f2278-da93-485e-9076-0e1a29eea65d.gif
I almost got fired for that, but what's right is right.
โ†“
b4d1ebf4-656e-43d3-8710-4fa6ed2e870b.gif
Well, that was illuminating.
โ†“
9b96e487-fa0d-41c0-bdb5-bbeb6bffe836.gif
We now know the face of all evil is a feeble old man in a trailer park
โ†“
1b93e0d9-993c-4c16-8db4-5cd0309549d2.gif
who whittles bird feeders.
โ†“
d3e1dad3-81ae-465c-8365-51f96a37c190.gif
I hope we've both learned something here.
โ†“
8640b81e-000b-418a-9592-12250e26134d.gif
Oh, yeah.
โ†“
7b2fc23b-4c84-4b2a-af03-6effa6898a23.gif
- What the hell is wrong with you? - Eye of the tiger, Hal.
โ†“
ba599537-ffb0-4dcd-a060-f24bdb375f85.gif
Larry? Hal? Are you boys all right?
โ†“
29de6c6a-762e-431a-b9a1-b9b76093c050.gif
Yeah, Mom, he just finished digging that underground fort you wanted.
โ†“
88bd5e3a-0176-4071-9082-834f97ff4a43.gif
I think you're gonna have a lot of fun in it.
fun
โ†“
99b0de04-4210-4abe-88ae-34246140b2c6.gif
Give me that. Honey, don't say anything. Just listen.
โ†“
06fa9d28-3c60-4475-b244-b947f6e47676.gif
You were right. You're always right.
โ†“
dd8950d0-c41f-4918-af7d-7079d8ef0504.gif
From now on, I will do whatever you say,
โ†“
113980d5-2cf7-4bfb-b90e-ff5e53ee2034.gif
because I have been happier just mindlessly obeying you
โ†“
1f74b761-a949-4efc-aae3-b28398edfb65.gif
than doing what I think I want with any of my so-called friends.
โ†“
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I love you. I miss you.
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Here's Dewey.
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Really, Mom?
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You want me to cut Reese's hair?
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But heloves his hair. Okay.
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This is so unfair.
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- Just get it over with. - Mohawks are kind of out, Mom.
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What if I--?
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Do you hear a strange ringing, Mom?
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You are so dead!
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And the last thing I remember is him shoving paint balls up my nose.
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Good. Then let's just say that's where he stopped.
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Where's my boy? What have you done with my poor, delicate boy?
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Oh, my God.
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This is yourfault, you evil little Svengali.
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I knew I shouldn't let Dabney have any friends.
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- Now, Dabney, where--? - Get the car.
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We're going home.
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Dabney, you've never spoken to me like this before.
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Well, get used to it.
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I'm not your little boy anymore, Mom.
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I'm your little man.
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Oh, my.
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Oh!
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Oh, Dabney. Oh!
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"Dear Francis, to stop Otto's night terrors,
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just caress his Ohrlappchen. Gretchen."
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His Ohrlappchen?
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Please, please, please.
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Thank you.