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Home » Malcolm in the Middle » S04E08 — Boys at Ranch

Malcolm in the Middle

Season 4, Episode 8 — Boys at Ranch

TMDB episode metadata
Show: Malcolm in the Middle
Episode title: Boys at Ranch
Air date: January 12, 2003
Director: David D'Ovidio
Top billed cast: Frankie Muniz, Jane Kaczmarek, Bryan Cranston, Justin Berfield, Erik Per Sullivan, Christopher Masterson
On a visit to Francis' dude ranch Hal can't help being disappointed in Francis' success, Reese and Malcolm fear Francis has turned into an overly responsible grownup, and Gretchen punishes Dewey for breaking a valuable doll.
Source: TMDB
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♪ Yes, no, maybe ♪
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♪ I don't know ♪
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I, uh, had to get my coffee.
coffee
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Okay, gentlemen, ready to roll?
gentlemenreadyroll
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- Let's go already. - Yeah, come on, Dad.
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Seat belt, check.
beltcheckseatseat-belt
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Map, check.
check
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Sunglasses, check.
checksunglasses
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Lumbar pillow.
lumbarpillow
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Check.
check
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Mirrors.
mirrors
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Check.
check
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Does that sound like a loose valve casing?
loosesoundvalve
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- Dad! - All right.
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You boys will soon learn there's nothing wrong with being careful.
boyscarefullearn
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Wow!
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- No rush. We're just looking for Francis. - Francis?
francisfrancis-francislookingrush
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- You are Francis' family? - Yes, we were just--
familyfrancis
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I am Otto. And this is Gretchen.
gretchenotto
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and now finally you are here.
finally
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And look at beautiful liebling.
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Your son is a genius.
genius
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He has completely turned this place around.
completelyplaceturned
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Well, not physically, of course.
coursephysically
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We still face the arroyo as before,
face
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- his intelligence, his leadership. - Mm-hm.
intelligenceleadership
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Really?
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Now, you just have the one Francis?
francis
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As long as you are here,
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everything is on the house.
house
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Now, would you like to review the staff?
reviewstaff
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- Oh, I-- - Please?
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It would mean so much to them.
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Well...
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Aren't they wonderful?
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They are Hopi Indian kachina dolls.
dollsindian
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Mythology is so much fun, don't you think?
fun
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Oh, no, no. No.
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They are far too valuable.
valuable
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You mustn't touch them.
touch
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Can I trust you?
trust
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I don't see why not.
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Very nice.
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- I like your boots. - Give him your boots!
boots
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No, no, no, I couldn't.
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You all look wonderful.
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Thank you.
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Do you hear that?
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He likes us.
likes
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Back to work!
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I'm not going to get too close.
close
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I'm fighting a terrible cold.
coldfighting
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- I'll probably be in bed all weekend. - Mom didn't come.
weekend
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You'll have to forgive the boys.
boysforgive
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They've always looked up to Francis like he's some kind of hero.
francisherolooked
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How's it going, guys?
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My God, Francis.
francis
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How did you learn to ride a horse like that?
horselearnride
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You got to pick it up quick around here. We break horses, brand cattle.
brandbreakcattlehorsespickquick
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It's about as close to the Old West as you'll ever find.
closewest
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Where do I find the jazzercise class?
class
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Other side of the smoothie bar.
sidesmoothie
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Oh, that chicken was fantastic.
chickenfantastic
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Where'd you learn to cook chili like that?
chilicooklearnwhered
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I spend time in the kitchen, too.
kitchenspend
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The secret to good chili is how long you soak the beans.
beanschilisecretsoak
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So, to recap our little contest. Dewey wins for most tuneful.
contestdeweyrecapwins
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Francis for the loudest.
francis
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I was the sneakiest.
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Malcolm, the most obnoxious.
malcolmobnoxious
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At least I wasn't disqualified.
disqualifiedleast
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I gambled and lost. It happens.
happenslost
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This is fun. Why don't we do this every weekend?
funweekend
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Boy, wouldn't that be nice?
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Oh, I almost forgot.
forgot
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Francis, I booked a trip for all of us to watch the sunrise
bookedfrancissunrisetripwatch
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tomorrow morning at Devil's Rock.
devilsmorningrocktomorrowtomorrow-morning
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I don't want to get up at sunrise to go look at some rock.
rocksunrise
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It may be a stupid rock for most of the year,
rockstupid
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but for the rest of this week the angle of the sun at dawn
angledawnrestweek
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makes it look like there's fire coming out of the devil's eyes.
comingdevilseyesfiremakes
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- Actually, I can't do it tomorrow, Dad. - What do you mean you can't?
tomorrow
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You were the one who told me about it.
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I know, but I have to lead a ride at 7:00 and it takes me two hours
hoursleadridetakes
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to get the horses ready.
horsesready
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- Can we go on that ride? - Can we?
ride
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- Sure. - Yeah.
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- All right. - Hey, what are you doing?
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- I brought some stuff I wanted to burn. - You're on cowboy time now.
broughtburncowboystuffwanted
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You got to get to bed and rest up if you want to come riding.
restriding
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- I'm not tired. - Sorry about Devil's Rock.
devilsrocktired
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Hey, don't worry about it.
worry
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I'll go by myself. It'll be great.
itll
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Here it comes.
comes
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Wow.
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That's amazing, Dad.
amazing
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I'm so happy we could do this together, son.
happy
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We got some loose gravel coming up so let's keep your horses in line.
cominghorseslineloose
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How do you know if the one you're on is still alive?
alive
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No one rides fast until you're familiar with the horses.
familiarfasthorsesrides
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So, let's keep both hands on the reins
hands
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and keep those helmets on tight.
helmetstight
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What's with Francis?
francis
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I don't know.
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We've been riding for an hour, I can still see the barn.
barnhourriding
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Whoa, those look cool.
coolwhoa
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When can we ride those?
ride
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- You're not going anywhere near those. - What? Why not?
near
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Because I know you and I don't want to take a day off work
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to peel your carcasses out of a barb-wire fence.
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Why don't you guys just and relax and enjoy the scenery?
enjoyrelax
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You seem to be the only riders having a problem.
havingproblemriders
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Is Joey the big cowboy?
cowboyjoey
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Yes, he is.
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Yes, he is.
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Now.
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Why won't you guys play ping-pong with me?
pingpong
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The table's free,
freetables
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and I've got the equipment form for Dad to sign.
equipmentformsign
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Because you're stupid.
stupid
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We didn't come all the way out here to be stuck playing with you.
playingstuck
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Wait, just a minute.
minute
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That is precisely why we came out here,
precisely
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so that we can all have a good time together!
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Now, your brother asked you to play with him
askedbrother
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and that is exactly what you are going to do.
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Our dad signed the permission slip for the ATVs.
permissionsignedslip
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You don't look 16 to me.
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It's a glandular thing.
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He's very sensitive about how short he is.
sensitiveshort
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Oh.
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Perhaps you are a late bloomer.
lateperhaps
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I had my baby teeth until I was 14.
babyteeth
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I'll get the keys.
keys
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"All terrain."
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I wonder if that actually means all terrain.
wonder
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They couldn't say it if it wasn't true.
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Wee-hee!
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Okay, so trees aren't terrain. Now we know.
trees
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I specifically told you guys, stay away from those ATVs!
specifically
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What the hell were you thinking?
thinking
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They don't think, Francis. They never have!
francis
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The only thing their heads are good for is to plug their necks!
headsnecksplug
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I blame the oldest one!
blameoldest
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The others follow him like sheep.
followotherssheep
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I thought I could trust you guys on your own for a few minutes.
minutestrust
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Well, obviously I was wrong!
obviously
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You are still the same stupid, reckless idiots you've always been.
idiotsrecklessstupid
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You don't have to yell at them like that.
yell
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I'll yell at whoever I want!
yell
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And even though I wish I hadn't said that, it's too late now!
latewish
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From now on, you boys stay away from the horses,
boyshorses
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the vehicles, the pool, and the other guests!
guestspoolvehicles
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That means you are confined to your room until further notice!
furtherfurther-noticenoticeroom
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- You're sending us to our room? - That's right.
roomsending
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I don't believe it.
believe
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You've turned into Mom!
turned
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Yeah? Well, sometimes Mom's right.
momssometimes
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You take that back!
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Oh, my God.
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You broke my doll?
brokedoll
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How could you be so thoughtless?
thoughtless
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You promised me you would leave it alone,
alonepromised
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but it was just a lie.
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All right, boys, go to your room now!
boysroom
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There, there.
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We will give him new legs
legs
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and then he will be all good again,
↓
dd45e095-fbe3-4b56-a392-abdc27bb5c2e.gif
just like cousin Heinrich.
cousinheinrich
↓
3d69499b-9165-41d4-9775-41254e362398.gif
You did the right thing, Francis.
francis
↓
ffee9866-82a8-4dde-95c7-9faa06343688.gif
- I don't know when they're going to learn. - Them? What about you?
learn
↓
4741a989-0bc6-47e6-8991-8d75059debcd.gif
How could you sign a release form and not read what it's intended for?
formintendedreadreleasesign
↓
bb3bf7ef-149a-4b74-88cf-4ba1f6a42fd4.gif
For God's sake, Dad, my job is hard enough as it is!
godsgods-sakehardsake
↓
b51feadd-a937-45bf-bb14-032d56fec4d4.gif
"Sometimes Mom's right"?
momssometimes
↓
f871cccd-0fb1-485a-9fa3-3b9caf904378.gif
"Sometimes Mom's right"?
momssometimes
↓
b30d881c-f886-41fc-8cee-2a7352b85362.gif
Why didn't he just throw acid in our faces?
acidfacesthrow
↓
1d0eb5c0-9ad4-4f6a-8fb2-9fec303188d4.gif
I'd actually prefer that.
prefer
↓
94cf01c3-b563-4ccf-a1ac-2e0c8daeb83e.gif
I can't believe he yelled at us right in front of that French guy.
believefrenchfrontyelled
↓
2d6353dc-9874-4319-9569-ecb66574b6c8.gif
He can't get away with this.
↓
b9b7c82d-74d7-48d0-a70f-352c6a6e5406.gif
We're going to get him back.
↓
f5e3a816-4e8d-4829-959f-c3de7975be46.gif
You're damn right we are.
↓
b7a68943-13c2-4e2c-9c14-0f857bb21063.gif
Are you with us, Dewey?
dewey
↓
2762495d-b701-4dcb-9e90-22fc8bf3fdb2.gif
Dewey?
dewey
↓
18c42558-1448-4c41-a09c-8e231cd95780.gif
And I know I shouldn't have taken it but it looked so cool.
coollookedtaken
↓
7bde32d7-a45e-4983-a5e0-a4621adca903.gif
And then in the tree, I forgot it was in my pocket,
forgotpockettree
↓
1f72b773-cedb-466d-9f6b-de3bc0e26647.gif
and I fell,
fell
↓
58395d00-dd34-47e5-a911-70347e40acf9.gif
and it broke.
broke
↓
27d57125-7863-4fe0-96ee-2ba7bee47232.gif
Oh, I know, I know, sweetheart.
sweetheart
↓
c4c4bff2-8ec2-423b-9927-0b736b11fd68.gif
And you know what?
↓
f311e57e-3bca-4107-ad44-44c4da621647.gif
I should never have yelled at you.
yelled
↓
05fcec5e-67c8-4041-ace5-10932bcb0ece.gif
I feel terrible about that.
↓
1ddaf09c-f655-490e-bcb2-905a6aa0db0d.gif
You do?
↓
adf31cfb-f1cf-46ad-a89c-a5cc40174a70.gif
Oh, of course I do.
course
↓
bcef13dd-0ca7-4ad5-9d38-b97c85a4c140.gif
So, we both feel bad about what we did, huh?
↓
656a323e-f445-4246-ba00-9975f49ac7b7.gif
You know what your Tante Gretchen does when she feels bad?
feelsgretchen
↓
3708d136-a218-4085-b34f-8fffc9829fbd.gif
She works.
works
↓
170c9196-15d6-4633-9a38-ffc4ef52259b.gif
She works herself to the point where her body screams in pain
bodypainpointscreamsworks
↓
7207c817-59c6-424f-8d28-76ccf6b1f6db.gif
and her soul begs for mercy.
begsmercysoul
↓
1365d3ed-3158-45ea-b3e5-a8da1f01d801.gif
Why?
↓
a13788c1-7e09-404e-a61d-ddf7cec5169a.gif
It's the best form of penance.
bestform
↓
28262a80-0d5a-47f9-bd28-1cc15b485daa.gif
Oh, when my fingers are raw,
fingers
↓
00194510-038c-4b80-be47-79d4188ec951.gif
and my back is racked with crippling pain,
pain
↓
79bb4f77-6510-4d4a-9a3b-762065a2720a.gif
I feel all better.
↓
0380ea60-622e-4339-9857-56696aa40384.gif
- Well, that might work for you. Whoa! - Let's do it.
mightwhoa
↓
cb1a6b7e-8b12-41f1-927c-b7777c17871a.gif
This will be wunderbar. The two old men go for a ride.
ride
↓
2841c251-387a-4af8-9c05-b10a3cc7c486.gif
See the beauty of the desert, commune with nature.
beautycommunedesertnature
↓
59fc5009-67c5-403e-be47-cd5004f41393.gif
I just hate to take up too much of your time.
hate
↓
cc843c6e-05c1-4715-ba69-b1c17c06adb6.gif
I already told the horses that we're going,
horses
↓
1763a604-f12b-4cd2-b612-3876653d8816.gif
don't make me look bad.
↓
fdd85139-c133-492b-85ad-f3a5ebda30ef.gif
Oh!
↓
0e4618b5-451d-47eb-824e-ff99e8ee679f.gif
- What's the matter with this horse? - Nothing.
horsematter
↓
fb39c4e5-feab-46de-99a1-9e453cba1770.gif
Buttercup is very sweet.
buttercupsweet
↓
bbd33794-7989-4282-b182-706196eeafe2.gif
Are you sure you're not still angry with the boys?
angryboys
↓
157e7b39-b5b9-4255-a668-51d955d48b04.gif
Buttercup is very good at picking up unresolved feelings.
buttercupfeelingspicking
↓
f59e4ed7-c2a0-4257-a2b6-9feb5c6cb8cb.gif
No. I told you, I'm over it. I'm fine.
↓
5b482282-42bd-449c-b4d3-98a4d683dba4.gif
Buttercup is never wrong.
buttercup
↓
478afaac-f2b5-4b3c-ae19-cbe3606ae314.gif
Once, Gretchen made me an omelet with mushrooms.
gretchenmushroomsomelet
↓
b299793e-8769-4968-acdb-f91b4ba01a02.gif
Oh, I hate mushrooms.
hatemushrooms
↓
dae06a5a-c7e8-4c28-a8bd-c31090fe6e6c.gif
But I didn't say anything.
↓
7c5b7821-e308-4913-a626-2ab21abb6038.gif
I had two helpings.
↓
c1a8391a-57d2-4f0c-ba24-9f143cf6a638.gif
Well, Buttercup forced me to go back and confront her.
buttercupconfrontforced
↓
34a9cdbb-2a84-4a89-bf55-abfef425444e.gif
We had the best sex we had had in years.
bestyears
↓
0f999698-e1a2-4650-8d99-deaa94bf7e12.gif
Thank you, Buttercup.
buttercup
↓
a2312585-c757-4db5-b57c-98e73ec4f1bd.gif
- Maybe I should ride your horse. - Good idea.
horseidearide
↓
f4b761da-93ea-4061-80df-6642c48434fe.gif
Scout doesn't pick up on anything,
pickscout
↓
027bc5eb-ec75-4844-a825-b89e6faf94d5.gif
unless you're secretly gay.
secretly
↓
f7a1388f-08cb-41ac-82f4-d38bf9c69539.gif
Thanks very much.
thanks
↓
9aa54372-c009-40fa-902a-22a1723dc3e8.gif
Hey, fellas, what can I do for you?
fellas
↓
25cefa0d-90b1-4db9-881a-06ed1850bf1e.gif
Um, we're looking for some sparklers.
looking
↓
f5a99e5b-0bb7-42f7-8cad-45269fe311b5.gif
Do you have any of those "pinwheels"?
↓
95f7247e-26c6-4639-b8dd-8bb6562544cb.gif
Sure do.
↓
64a5712c-e579-4942-83b0-496ac818f2ed.gif
Also got some lady fingers.
fingerslady
↓
6469fc5a-cdb4-481c-b593-0c430c927976.gif
Okay, let's start with 18 genies,
start
↓
1546d531-9452-4c15-af58-39259e735bad.gif
two dozen gel-ignited pomegranates and a case of devil dragons.
casedevildozendragons
↓
e335207b-8e5b-416b-a525-cab56cdbb2a8.gif
We're out of the 99s, you want 44s at half price?
halfprice
↓
a231637d-c196-47b5-98b6-b99fed878657.gif
44s are worthless.
worthless
↓
503d07d2-8869-428c-9562-d6880e6455da.gif
Make it six packs of red dogs with time-delay fuses.
delaydogspacks
↓
f6814b93-d8c2-4863-bb10-8be7400ed709.gif
Powder or aluminum phosphate?
aluminumpowder
↓
f7a10b94-ed79-4a8f-ac0e-4288529dc1c9.gif
- Who do you think you're dealing with? - One last thing.
dealing
↓
8fe85590-6d42-40e8-833d-ea793442b6b2.gif
We're planning an event for a friend.
eventfriendplanning
↓
36a0ce93-f786-47f4-a1f4-d27a23b3256e.gif
You got anything that will make it really special?
special
↓
fe1d28db-d917-4296-aba1-cd72f9bff4d5.gif
Depends on how much you're willing to spend.
dependsspendwilling
↓
24a05c79-b36b-42a7-b16e-0991c134d61c.gif
Why don't you let my dad worry about that?
worry
↓
01194655-6063-4ce5-8166-2b64468cab88.gif
Boys.
boys
↓
7fe81bc5-b28f-4ced-930f-f9a7398dedef.gif
I'd like to introduce you...
introduce
↓
8fb66206-bb9e-48c4-ac17-db1c0c914c75.gif
to the Komodo 3000.
↓
315cd1a9-b562-48c6-89f4-67428617147d.gif
Oh, yeah. This will get him back.
↓
745c9c58-f0e7-4d51-ad7a-cf92141046fb.gif
- How are we doing? - My fingers hurt.
fingershurt
↓
a57cc3cd-e9cf-4961-89da-af2eddeeca58.gif
But that bad feeling in my stomach is getting better.
feelingstomach
↓
8af5aad5-bab3-4bdf-a6d4-7d87d19c64e3.gif
This is good.
↓
829e4240-3692-4293-81f5-17c1413b470b.gif
It means you are getting in touch with your guilt, ja?
guilttouch
↓
3db3baaa-773a-4feb-b424-cf4f17374e6e.gif
What's the matter?
matter
↓
e16ce1cd-ee42-412c-a731-aa2e47c6c4a4.gif
I just remembered when I was 9,
remembered
↓
e1e53cfb-38eb-425b-9280-77f4db2f861d.gif
my uncle gave me a pfennig to put in the wishing well,
unclewishing
↓
0d0a9753-cd16-424c-9d25-50ec31932946.gif
but I threw a pebble in the well und I kept the pfennig.
pebblethrew
↓
d2656019-2959-4244-ad31-306cec1af9cd.gif
I am pure evil! Oh!
evilpurepure-evil
↓
65404523-4e44-49ba-b628-b9985cf05203.gif
I once put a garden slug in Reese's sandwich.
gardenreesessandwichslug
↓
9023b4bb-7531-4239-8354-5bedf9d03006.gif
- And he ate it. - Und you feel bad about this?
↓
ad4b4e9b-bc17-4e9d-9fdf-bc90c711a9a3.gif
Then scrub.
scrub
↓
538ddbe8-7d00-4878-803e-c2a251bdec61.gif
Oh, look. Blood.
blood
↓
1e26b2ce-70df-4425-b01b-0ba5eb9126ae.gif
We are halfway there.
halfway
↓
ec63044a-bc63-4b96-9720-b22b2a3f4b89.gif
I can see why you love it out here, Otto.
loveotto
↓
1c4670d1-d66e-452e-b7d4-2f5c02c799e3.gif
Yeah, yeah, this is where I come to think, to unwind,
unwind
↓
731fd0cd-6605-478c-8c84-4c3ce66bff82.gif
or when I am in the doghouse with Gretchen.
gretchen
↓
1a4c65db-058a-4987-9c30-585667d025d4.gif
Oh, I can be a naughty boy.
naughty
↓
bed27578-da8a-4cde-b529-d6ed4a5cd1a5.gif
I have a barstool in the garage for the same thing.
garage
↓
8499905c-dc18-4fe0-8ddf-9fbed852163b.gif
Oh.
↓
253cf846-7e7e-487f-b570-b39ab19f68b2.gif
Well...
↓
140955fe-7585-4468-bcfe-5ba36b758e59.gif
I suppose we should be heading back.
headingsuppose
↓
fe65a9fc-7a8b-4d4a-be68-4d9d736f44d6.gif
Yeah, yeah, we could do that or...
↓
2f4bfa2c-97e1-4d2f-8c89-4b1058bf87e3.gif
we could get to know each other a little better.
↓
5555d9ef-140e-428f-9279-9b254699e442.gif
- Is that schnapps? - In my experience,
experienceschnapps
↓
66aad6f3-b990-4eb1-b824-687fe98f9a4f.gif
many interesting things can be discovered
discoveredinteresting
↓
2f42e623-24a6-48f2-bec8-7fb50cf15b3b.gif
with just the proper dosage.
dosageproper
↓
db4aa16e-9f4f-4ecd-a2e6-ecdf7c924197.gif
Watch this.
watch
↓
7697a030-0eba-4e2c-9fea-9fde98102efd.gif
Oh, good shooting.
shooting
↓
72c56fc2-74c5-4271-b940-c290f0478c46.gif
You shot that rock clean into two.
cleanrockshot
↓
833ed78c-fa35-4224-8ea7-e7ebb2d6669e.gif
- Yeah! - To Hal.
↓
069f2e28-28f5-4d60-98f9-b7ec3ad13d0b.gif
- To Otto. - Salud.
ottosalud
↓
e3ac1258-aff7-4f1a-8b66-1b262696805f.gif
Salud!
salud
↓
fc1606a6-da43-46fa-997c-dd87860a3fb8.gif
Oh, have you ever seen so many stars in the sky.
seenstars
↓
955a3a29-ee8d-4876-90f9-c456c458425b.gif
- Oh, look. Up there. There's Orion. - Where?
orion
↓
b810a980-56ec-4dd8-b649-600f040dc661.gif
Right there. Those three stars are his belt.
beltstarsthree
↓
2aa85590-7c9a-4d38-96a5-456755d0b91b.gif
- What? - There?
↓
b898b745-fa40-4d79-99c4-11d64c7cc746.gif
No. There.
↓
e26e02d6-910a-4d4a-95b1-24c6752a2af8.gif
And there is his spear.
spear
↓
b15c9323-b5c7-4e54-b31f-04d366ada31c.gif
Oh, great!
↓
6ced32e0-1549-4eaf-8c38-8320535bb3fc.gif
Something scared off the horses.
horsesscared
↓
3448989f-09ce-4292-b597-cec7ede04fc7.gif
Whoa!
whoa
↓
f2c2e329-6736-430f-958d-a7bda8b13402.gif
Run!
↓
c21946f2-4ce3-41a0-8a37-042c002584c0.gif
Oh! Something bit me.
↓
4b6d55fe-a16a-4ebe-aa15-4de6909aaa53.gif
Oh, God, Otto!
otto
↓
f4abc0e3-fe64-4ab9-af9b-77348649afb2.gif
You're wounded!
wounded
↓
592eb3ac-5498-4743-9048-400d7845fc09.gif
Finally,
finally
↓
93b42880-a2a1-4046-b27e-b25652475c31.gif
I hit something.
↓
897eab00-e813-4340-80e2-b47bd7737660.gif
Well, I just listened at the boys' door and not a peep.
boysdoorlistenedpeep
↓
cbc1001c-9d49-471a-87ea-81be17b7f839.gif
I hated coming down on them but that's the only way they'll listen.
cominghated
↓
a5de2c85-e314-4eee-aa4d-ef928e58c550.gif
Absolutely.
absolutely
↓
8befc25b-568d-4568-a9db-9400f514e8e6.gif
I mean, I think I was hard but fair.
fairhard
↓
73fc30e0-175d-4476-a8fa-12fc247631df.gif
You couldn't have been more fair.
fair
↓
46960063-e65a-4df3-8e16-fc945b9c4878.gif
Okay, and now you're smiling, which means in about two seconds,
secondssmiling
↓
e8ed8233-9b44-4ec0-b848-2ec8733b939a.gif
I'm going to look like a jackass.
jackass
↓
f45b6a8d-afe8-4164-a180-32e4af3d484f.gif
- You can keep going if you want. - Just tell me.
↓
a41e5630-af98-4f1a-a0fa-a6ee2f7310c8.gif
The boys haven't been in the room for three hours.
boyshoursroomthreethree-hours
↓
e772c6d1-d82c-435e-bc77-44240674b8ce.gif
- What? - They want you to meet them
meet
↓
12bb5cdb-4ebb-4efa-99d4-81503718aff9.gif
at the south gate.
gatesouth
↓
e22bc84f-4605-41bd-8097-f40b3ba746d3.gif
This should explain everything.
explain
↓
dd191842-8151-46e1-b1de-fdbe3fd33e89.gif
I'm afraid it starts off a little antagonistic.
afraidstarts
↓
0c3fb1f7-e69b-4295-bc31-1226ee5d9997.gif
Is that last word "lick" or "wipe?"
lickwipeword
↓
82802ff5-2018-43f9-bfdc-289699035250.gif
I think you're safe either way.
safe
↓
eb4c855d-26e6-459d-9a69-130c2ae4c14b.gif
How far do you think we've gone?
gone
↓
4246fb7b-43bc-4a97-9a56-aecde5454170.gif
Well, judging by that rock formation over there,
formationjudgingrock
↓
09a6d3ef-88a5-43af-9af2-f655c1c9c188.gif
about 12 feet.
feet
↓
e9bf19f8-fd29-4b24-82b4-2d3dd22253eb.gif
Oh, if only Francis knew we were out here, he would save us.
francissave
↓
61b700f4-7310-481b-aaec-f6b6a3ec594d.gif
Oh, sure.
↓
7d6b7fa7-b175-4c57-a3b6-6b5a835ac5ef.gif
Super Francis!
francissuper
↓
c316e445-238e-4948-acba-24afdb2ec89f.gif
He'd make a jetpack out of a cactus and fly us all home!
cactushome
↓
52c76f32-9f9e-4cd9-a93d-041ea69d5d46.gif
Why are you so angry at Francis?
angryfrancis
↓
64146164-47a3-4570-b244-d36dde41b7cf.gif
I am not angry at Francis.
angryfrancis
↓
83c5c21e-ecc4-4916-bcb8-007941e54f7b.gif
Well, as you shouldn't be.
↓
b3745365-d1d1-4aed-9d4c-db448f3ecc75.gif
He is smart, he is capable, he is hardworking
capablesmart
↓
48d38f50-e536-4ca5-ad04-67166d83dfdf.gif
and I personally never met anyone more "relibable."
personally
↓
68231648-de42-489c-9a03-b4c67db35c5b.gif
Yes, now!
↓
cef12b7b-f025-4930-825a-e32776078d55.gif
When I had him for 18 years,
years
↓
6df47459-5ebd-45a7-a621-3a17168533ed.gif
I punished him and threatened him and cried over him
criedpunishedthreatened
↓
db073e5c-0336-4e79-a0de-f104397d41d1.gif
and begged him and screamed at him!
beggedscreamed
↓
7c915434-e639-467f-af33-12279868b80a.gif
And his life was one train wreck after another!
anotherlifetraintrain-wreckwreck
↓
366e9eac-2da4-4743-a2d4-0bd2676d7b3f.gif
Two months with you,
months
↓
b45f06c8-2f4f-4595-9d90-fc30fdd35d95.gif
and now he's a model citizen!
citizenmodel
↓
9c729619-83a7-420b-a247-45143e70a195.gif
And this is what you are so upset about?
upset
↓
9f57df31-fd89-46ab-8844-2740ad2e9a51.gif
Yes, I think it's pretty obvious.
obvious
↓
3c4b03af-4312-4d90-9e60-cf01b9a747e2.gif
All he needed was his father to get out of his face,
facefatherneeded
↓
2b9b541b-2abf-4330-9334-8632b4766b8b.gif
so that he could meet someone who knows how to turn his life around.
knowslifemeet
↓
698d787a-f18e-4f84-9521-3de6f4783272.gif
Well, if I am such a genius,
genius
↓
88d230bb-e013-414f-bf15-a75730b2369d.gif
how come that I am drunk
drunk
↓
c4f77fa1-d0f6-42ee-9141-8abd65489631.gif
and lost in the desert with a bullet in my ass?
bulletdesertlost
↓
cd8d7a40-295e-49b5-9c9c-d37fa50466a1.gif
Hal, listen to me.
↓
47bcebb9-7449-4cdf-b861-f996e0b5915f.gif
Francis had all of his great qualities
francisqualities
↓
4848f1ff-7031-447e-af9f-f771ce16b3c7.gif
on the day that I met him.
↓
9733cdf7-0402-4541-89a7-ca0e9b0ea4a0.gif
- What? - What do you think?
↓
9dacf59d-995f-4b1a-8c8e-7c76ccbaee3f.gif
He just picked them up off the road?
pickedroad
↓
8ef4fecd-5b4c-4164-ba67-e1e54b011691.gif
"Hello, I would like a Big Gulp
gulp
↓
5ac32f2a-734c-45e3-a8a3-7a0feaef4f60.gif
and a candy bar and a new personality."
candypersonality
↓
1a862a9a-560c-4dd7-b6a1-3ed33cc289b7.gif
No, Hal.
↓
3dbe1f0c-79ed-41af-ac6f-7fb6e161e4cd.gif
Listen to me.
↓
057e2aa8-e5c5-4169-a12c-e460be6a59de.gif
Your acorn did not fall very far from your tree.
falltree
↓
632c4959-947b-47af-9029-782623f76c0b.gif
So, I'm not such a failure as a father?
failurefather
↓
48c36b1d-e4a6-48d8-aa76-6d438383d72c.gif
Absolutely not.
absolutely
↓
6c6fd5bd-02dc-48de-bb0b-c6afabae22ae.gif
Now, if your crisis is over,
crisis
↓
8effaf21-367a-4709-a699-48d7007efb47.gif
my buttocks could use a vigorous rubbing.
rubbing
↓
9e5caa9a-2664-4e3a-8d00-9c522adc82a9.gif
They are starting to go numb.
numbstarting
↓
bd182ef5-9439-48ea-a64a-d724ea8cd9eb.gif
Oh, that's it, Dewey.
dewey
↓
330c74c6-a786-499c-89e8-c4db31d4ee57.gif
We can't miss a spot.
missspot
↓
88c47d63-839c-4926-92e7-f91b81316033.gif
Right corner.
corner
↓
e356f49f-8a55-4721-854e-3d510efa935c.gif
- Got it! - Ja.
↓
c9c71ed4-ba94-4c50-bf7a-b7c3d52ad79a.gif
I think that is it.
↓
6f0acdd6-6889-4ecf-becd-e746bd1b289d.gif
Finally,
finally
↓
98dd239c-f3a6-487b-90d5-172e5049e38b.gif
we are finished.
finished
↓
9d935734-dfcb-478a-839f-8cec8788fffc.gif
Wow, I feel wonderful.
↓
a28267e2-347b-4d73-aeb6-52a9b54fc640.gif
Ja, it's beautiful, isn't it?
↓
40660518-2073-4211-b186-da8f5d160b2b.gif
This is the moment you work for.
moment
↓
c14418d4-f50d-487d-98e8-3645bbe1f78b.gif
Your soul is set free.
freesoul
↓
61f64f88-9c27-4ad7-b5e2-ae2f394dce28.gif
Your burden has been lifted.
burdenlifted
↓
7328d969-1585-49f6-b527-568f8740555c.gif
I kind of feel like I'm floating.
floating
↓
4f72d2fa-a1c8-47f5-9e9d-23035ea636ad.gif
Well, that's probably the ammonia
ammonia
↓
b87d7775-da6d-4dbc-a4b2-df4c4befd2bb.gif
but we have done well.
↓
b91886a6-a460-4030-8307-b5927aea09c3.gif
A clean room leads to a clean conscience, ja?
cleanconscienceleadsroom
↓
e3611d2d-a3ad-4a29-af58-d2769192f312.gif
I think I'm happier than I've ever been.
happier
↓
722f7c80-7eea-4ea6-8cf8-6c4f737701de.gif
Me, too, liebe.
↓
bca6f9b5-c952-4927-91b6-6e7f0a4eb8f8.gif
Here...
↓
f8dc1257-4c7f-4318-ad44-edb6d42a18dc.gif
I want to give you something.
↓
a95d566e-a36c-4b1c-bba3-421bf24e132c.gif
Promise you will think of me when you use it.
promise
↓
2a8c117d-4239-4510-ad0f-3745f9beba71.gif
Thank you, Tante Gretchen.
gretchen
↓
b05ba867-dad3-4ea1-bf1c-1ec1094fa801.gif
De nada.
nada
↓
d984f735-c2b3-48be-9bab-446c91286726.gif
I don't know what you guys are pulling,
pulling
↓
a25a9fd3-7e88-4df7-9691-fcedb3a31d38.gif
but you should know I am way ahead of you.
ahead
↓
8fe145d4-0570-4336-ad65-ede949de511d.gif
What's that?
↓
71ef1af5-b3ac-48ab-9950-74210ebcb668.gif
Looks like a fuse.
fuse
↓
9fcfe8ed-3559-4146-af71-5708a2de08f1.gif
All right, what exactly are you planning?
planning
↓
769045ab-d996-41a7-9eed-f2326168ed62.gif
We're planning to get you back.
planning
↓
e08e0101-3f43-4af3-adf3-7903502f2c17.gif
We want our brother back the way he used to be.
brotherused
↓
244e46c3-4917-4cd4-a574-876ffa186aa7.gif
We know how much you always liked fire, explosions.
fireliked
↓
752a56cf-aa60-4b56-9df4-87bb00b48c4a.gif
Nice try.
↓
27a97f46-2d0b-4bdd-8a00-9be314a27e2e.gif
- That was a long time ago. - Really?
↓
5c1ba979-0bb2-4d2e-bb6e-2935359acaa9.gif
So, where does this go?
↓
79ff85f6-6826-400e-b1f7-1e4058155061.gif
Well, I suppose you could find out by crawling over the fence
crawlingfencesuppose
↓
bfae9673-3950-4bb5-a299-134218cfccf4.gif
and following the fuse...
followingfuse
↓
daa63e4c-dc85-4388-b0f2-f6fb43ac14bf.gif
or you could find out the Francis way.
francis
↓
614fa12b-b14f-4d47-a783-fb49a0f605ca.gif
We're sure you'll make the right decision.
decision
↓
9e22a838-5c88-4a46-bae0-081be7a98396.gif
Guys, I'm telling you, things are different now.
telling
↓
4b348a28-5491-4472-9d03-79864459f5c9.gif
I'm married, I have responsibilities.
marriedresponsibilities
↓
07703596-7602-41c0-a7ac-ba7cd2126b49.gif
I'm just not a 16-year-old maniac anymore who--
anymoremaniac
↓
b5013ce2-e8ab-4106-9811-1b5e2b4a0547.gif
Huh. Interesting.
interesting
↓
1800ddf5-ca13-4d95-87a9-4f3bcedb1565.gif
Does anything look familiar, Otto?
familiarotto
↓
452661bd-6358-48d7-8141-6218dd68d275.gif
Just keep heading towards those mountains.
headingmountains
↓
330b06c3-8d57-4ecf-95a2-f90528e318f6.gif
Behind us is certain death.
behindcertaindeath
↓
7993b50f-dca6-4d61-82a7-906bc7a34bf1.gif
♪ Hallelujah! Hallelujah! ♪
hallelujah
↓
ee1d977a-a421-45b3-8df1-3c8bce8a62de.gif
That's right,
↓
1d5a683d-3889-4453-9602-e71dd1ccb869.gif
this way is certain death.
certaindeath
↓
611fba78-28ff-4869-8678-883f0d336729.gif
I wonder what that is.
wonder
↓
0bd77292-96eb-4aa2-981d-2ea75947fb20.gif
I'll tell you what that is.
↓
608fc34b-7962-4244-beee-1f10b8f608f3.gif
That is Francis showing us the way home!
francishomeshowing
↓
9219b291-0d4c-405f-b29b-f682dc23bf4b.gif
- I told you he'd get us out of this. - Yes, of course.
course
↓
4c398bfd-9d8a-4e5d-a998-97da8a19c114.gif
Come on.
↓
17f37c6e-c3d7-4c94-9480-410811cb0a7e.gif
This may even top Homecoming '98.
homecoming
↓
1aa3e3b9-e654-44d9-a008-0b7ebbddab30.gif
I don't know.
↓
4b3e4597-f46a-4654-b1d1-bbea86db4eb3.gif
That float smoldered for a week.
floatweek
↓
8d1ff695-da78-4fa7-8bff-8d145d9b0880.gif
How do we know which one is the Komodo 3000?
↓
6c6574af-96d1-46e6-9ad9-d24309993eca.gif
Let's hope that was it!
hope
↓
9b12b319-778a-4ad0-a36f-92e6b0bb9bb0.gif
Did it say when our vision would come back?
vision
↓
c6c4a564-5f17-4446-bf0f-d5d9e9b0b3f1.gif
Box said two days.
days
↓
465a3ea3-3a15-4d2f-8bc0-0b69d6eeacf5.gif
Totally worth it!
worth