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Home » Malcolm in the Middle » S03E19 — Clip Show

Malcolm in the Middle

Season 3, Episode 19 — Clip Show

TMDB episode metadata
Show: Malcolm in the Middle
Episode title: Clip Show
Air date: April 28, 2002
Director: Jamie Babbit
Top billed cast: Frankie Muniz, Jane Kaczmarek, Bryan Cranston, Justin Berfield, Erik Per Sullivan, Christopher Masterson
An embattled psychiatrist probes the boys' naughty behavior patterns in a session framed by flashbacks to past episodes.
Source: TMDB
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♪ Yes, no, maybe ♪
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♪ I don't know ♪
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♪ Can you repeat the question? ♪
questionrepeat
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♪ Life is unfair ♪
lifeunfair
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This is stupid.
stupid
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We didn't do anything.
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- What do we need a psychiatrist for? - I don't want to hear it.
psychiatrist
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- We need professional help. - Hello.
professional
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Ah-ah-ah!
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Yes, the joyriding incident.
incidentjoyriding
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Maybe I'll start with talking to them.
start
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You're the expert.
expert
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You do whatever the doctor says.
doctor
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You better be cured when I get back!
cured
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Take a seat.
seat
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Now, what that means is when one of you talks,
talks
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everybody listens.
everybodylistens
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name-calling, or passing judgment on what was just said.
callingjudgmentnamepassing
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and feel okay about it.
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- Can I have a piece of candy? - No.
candypiece
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This is ridiculous. We didn't take their car out.
ridiculous
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We were watching TV all night. We were being good.
nightwatching
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Well, I mean, I had some stuff scheduled for later, but--
scheduledstuff
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There was a lot of damage done to that car.
damage
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It's a dump.
dump
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Look, don't analyze us.
analyze
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You can poke and prod and delve all you want,
poke
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but you're not gonna find any psychological issues, okay?
issuespsychological
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We're normal.
normal
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I hate my brothers.
brothershate
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I only like me.
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I hate my brothers.
brothershate
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I only like me.
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I hate my brothers.
brothershate
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I only like me...
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Stop it right now, I mean it!
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- I hate my brother. - When are you gonna be done?
brotherhate
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Soon as I can, honey.
honey
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I said stop it!
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I hate my brothers.
brothershate
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I only like me.
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I hate my brothers. I only like me.
brothershate
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Five across.
five
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My mother looked "blank."
blanklookedmother
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- What'd you do? - What?
whatd
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Don't give me that. What'd you do?
whatd
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- Nothing. - Mom, I'm trying to study.
study
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Oh.
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Then I'm sure you don't mind if I, uh...
mind
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took a look in here.
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Mom, I'm telling you, we didn't do anything.
telling
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Oh, you boys are up to something.
boys
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I can smell it.
smell
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If you've broken another window, it is gonna come out of your--
anotherbrokenwindow
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Are you done?
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You wanna frisk me?
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You just consider yourselves lucky.
considerluckyyourselves
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This time.
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That was close.
close
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Our only problem is our parents think we're lying, and we're not.
lyingparentsproblem
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Hey, a breakthrough.
breakthrough
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You're obviously a very bright young man.
brightobviouslyyoung
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Would you like to spend the hour telling me how bright you are?
brighthourspendtelling
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Okay, let's talk about your parents.
parents
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Now, if you had to describe them in a few words,
describewords
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how would you do that?
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I don't know.
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Mom is...
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Mom.
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Everybody up!
everybody
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I have to do laundry before work!
laundry
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I am taking breakfast off the table in five minutes.
breakfastfivefive-minutesminutestable
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And Dad's...
dads
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What is Dad?
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- Who wants to make five bucks? - How?
bucksfivefive-buckswants
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- I need someone to take the fall. - Oh, my God.
fall
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What did you do?
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I can't tell you. Yes or no.
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No questions asked.
askedquestionsquestions-asked
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- Oh, my God! - Make it 10.
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- Done. - Oh, my God!
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You're a good son.
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I got him, honey! I got him, don't worry!
honeyworry
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And you have another brother, Francis?
anotherbrotherfrancis
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- Did they tell you what they did to him? - It's a classic firstborn scenario.
classicfirstbornscenario
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A free and easy couple suddenly has a kid
coupleeasyfreesuddenly
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and their whole world's turned upside down,
turnedupsidewholeworlds
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and even after other kids, the oldest one becomes a symbol
becomeskidsoldestsymbol
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for everything that's wrong in their lives through no fault of his own.
faultlives
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Dad, I know what you're gonna say, and believe me, I totally agree with you.
agreebelieve
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There is no excuse for what I did.
excuse
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It was idiotic, immature, totally reckless, and I'm really sorry.
idioticimmaturereckless
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I'm just hoping against hope, you will give me another chance, which I admit...
admitanotheranother-chancechancehopehoping
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I don't deserve.
deserve
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But if you could just find it in your heart to forgive me,
forgiveheart
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I know I could earn your trust back.
earntrust
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They had it out for him from the start.
start
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Boy, you guys really have a lot of issues with your parents.
issuesparents
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Do you ever discuss any of this with them?
discuss
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40f958f0-e00c-4b48-9875-1245448d787a.gif
You never tell your parents your feelings?
feelingsparents
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We try. Two weeks ago, I put some newspapers
newspapersweeks
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in the blender and set it on fire,
blenderfire
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That was totally cry for help.
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37f01633-783a-436b-9b2c-3c4c0065a0d1.gif
I mean talk, with words. You know, talk about the subject at hand?
handsubjectwords
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You know, a lot of families do that, around the dinner table.
dinnerfamiliestable
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That can be a really good environment for sharing your feelings.
environmentfeelingssharing
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Great pancakes, Dad.
pancakes
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Oh, thanks.
thanks
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Hey, who's ready for seconds?
readyseconds
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I am.
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Here are the house rules.
househouse-rulesrules
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You can't reach for seconds until you're finished with your first.
finishedreachseconds
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But as soon as anybody's fork leaves the perimeter of their plate,
anybodysforkleavesperimeterplate
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all bets are off.
bets
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It's mine.
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And then there's a big explosion and lots of bubbles.
bubblesexplosionlots
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That's where babies come from.
babies
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Oh, well, you know, close enough.
close
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2a92df98-7005-474c-bfa7-21deb8e076de.gif
Look at this, I made a pea angel.
angel
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c95884d8-5d21-47fc-a534-3bf5b004d047.gif
Oh, you're a pea angel.
angel
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Stop playing with your food.
foodplaying
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Oh, Mom.
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Don't you dare.
dare
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- Relax. I wasn't really going to. - Then don't.
relax
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- I wasn't going to. - Then don't.
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Well, don't accuse me of something that I wasn't going to do!
accuse
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Interesting mood shift.
interestingmoodshift
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It would take hours to explain the psychology behind this.
behindexplainhourspsychology
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So, let me just put it this way.
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Dynamite.
dynamite
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Kid with matches.
matches
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Are you gonna throw that at mom?
throw
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I wasn't going to.
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Jeez, Louise. Reese--
jeezlouisereese
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Hal, I can handle this.
handle
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Reese, I'm warning you.
reesewarning
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I wasn't going to.
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But if you think I would, then maybe I should.
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Oh, good, now he's panicking.
panicking
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Just put the spoon down and apologize.
apologizespoon
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Okay, she gave him an out.
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Apologize for what?
apologize
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I wasn't gonna do anything! Just stop talking!
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Just stop talking and let me think!
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- Dad, do something. - I got it.
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What do you think you're doing?
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I'm being cute and spontaneous?
cutespontaneous
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Don't do it.
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I wasn't going to!
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Who cares if they don't believe me about the car?
believecares
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I've gotten this far in my life without anyone giving me any credit.
creditgivinggottenlife
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Why should I expect anything different now?
expect
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Yeah, a guy who leaves thumbtacks on the toilet seat is so misunderstood.
leavesmisunderstoodseattoilet
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Please remember the ground rules--
groundground-rulesrememberrules
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You taught me my name in French was "latrine."
frenchnametaught
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- Don't interrupt-- - You sold my bike for three bucks
bikebucksinterruptsoldthree
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- to Billy when he moved to Canada! - We don't--
billycanadamoved
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I'm the one who spit in Dewey's cereal this morning.
cerealdeweysmorningspit
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- I mean... - I drank that milk!
drankmilk
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I licked the bowl!
bowllicked
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- I hate you! - Oh, shut up, pit stain.
hatestain
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- Leave him alone. You started it. - Shut up!
alonestarted
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- You shut up! - Shut up!
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a8fd8045-d424-421f-87bc-b700a2e8ffc6.gif
Stop it!
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5f4e4839-da62-45a3-885e-09c17f89fc87.gif
This is not how therapy works!
therapyworks
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fd12031c-7e2f-409a-9915-8a8ef6b85fba.gif
You are going to respect each other, and damn it, you are going to respect me.
respect
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You're gonna behave,
behave
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e8e3289e-8615-423d-b604-5ff80282956c.gif
and we are gonna continue with this session!
continuesession
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7ce0739b-cac9-4db2-9374-7f19205b0a42.gif
Understood?
understood
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2c4ee194-6663-4213-b410-413ef56a29dc.gif
Stop it!
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06f94231-5f39-4419-9f46-2519a7381100.gif
This is a safe zone!
safezone
↓
bb293e29-205f-4b20-8ad3-802d2aa3f7e3.gif
A safe zone!
safezone
↓
a8b26f1b-71e3-4cbe-8558-6d77ed729438.gif
Stupid--
stupid
↓
4a8a35f1-fa35-4c3c-890e-ef305e276f74.gif
Here's what you boys need to know.
boys
↓
a99b86c3-81eb-49ef-a3de-90293573aa86.gif
You cannot break me.
breakcannot
↓
460e0418-1d09-4ef3-8320-841d885cdb9c.gif
I worked in prisons.
prisonsworked
↓
ae1a490b-fc8b-4a03-a974-61b880d72e5f.gif
I had a 17-year-old serial killer
killerserialserial-killer
↓
a5ac90d8-ea6f-41c7-8e2a-9e5ac471fb25.gif
hugging my knees and crying like a little girl.
cryinggirlhuggingknees
↓
7a35a44e-ef2a-48d9-bd97-e68c6c5cbad6.gif
Those aren't Fisher-Price diplomas on the wall.
fisherpricewall
↓
2ee33255-382d-4b60-a07a-5446ffbdb664.gif
I went to Harvard.
harvard
↓
d54224ff-7c60-4651-9ef3-f8a3ebb1b1c8.gif
I had a starring role in The Mikado!
rolestarring
↓
1f2cc655-fecc-42d6-a416-f516a9c76157.gif
My arms are tired.
armstired
↓
4d92894d-2436-42e5-a11c-81ad39d8dd24.gif
Don't give him the satisfaction, Dewey.
deweysatisfaction
↓
2e65651c-24fe-457d-8906-1daf67650d54.gif
This is nothing. Mom makes us do this out in the rain.
makesrain
↓
46962968-155c-474f-b1b6-b0e3025ab609.gif
Okay, you can relax.
relax
↓
e2f34932-154a-47c5-a25a-55283ee13a8b.gif
All right, let's try this.
↓
525fb2b3-6413-4dd4-bfd8-c291fa052053.gif
If you picked one thing about the way your parents treat you,
parentspickedtreat
↓
bfa428f0-c8f4-4348-ad65-b39b8269da35.gif
what would you change?
change
↓
cbd4f6a2-1ab5-4d35-a8aa-16dfad77bd3f.gif
The biggest problem is that they don't trust us.
biggestproblemtrust
↓
c3327c4f-7d95-4e6a-a6f1-d3c7ace3abd3.gif
They assume that if they leave us alone for two seconds, we'll get in trouble.
aloneassumesecondstrouble
↓
99a44d2a-6108-4a40-bb12-87b2e55c2a5f.gif
Nine days past expiration.
daysninepast
↓
3fab4bd7-973d-41f7-941a-fc7734eaab1a.gif
You don't have the guts.
guts
↓
da2e6ae6-4177-45f9-9e75-9a37e902f08b.gif
When was the last Christmas we had eggnog?
christmas
↓
bc4a4b3e-c613-49e0-8078-a5c52f06d7d1.gif
It's all you, man.
↓
4b0bacbb-8dd7-4057-a18e-4a114fb769fe.gif
Bottom of the ninth. Two outs. Man on first.
bottomninthouts
↓
a39737ec-bf6d-4116-b671-ac052737ea2c.gif
The wind up.
wind
↓
9110784e-fb74-4509-b3f8-68b9e60b20a5.gif
The pitch.
pitch
↓
b6f962bc-d37e-4788-82a6-aab27fe67e76.gif
- Uh-oh. - Oh, man, we are so dead.
dead
↓
025b96cd-55d8-4bf6-a209-cba0ac360577.gif
- That's it. Game over. - Yeah.
game
↓
8cff8d2a-a1ea-4f1b-91ea-6a607d296fee.gif
- So I win. - What?
↓
2cc057d1-2aa3-4a96-a813-76263320d532.gif
Past the lamp is a home run. Two men scored.
homelamppastscored
↓
c5984c6f-5a2d-4427-8abd-79c0b0a7e7a7.gif
- That was a foul ball! - Are you crazy?
ballcrazyfoul
↓
0fbfbba7-07bb-4b00-8bf3-ff9fda498246.gif
It went right down the line.
line
↓
ae87348e-6e4e-48e5-aa3c-beafde85db16.gif
- It was foul. - Shut up! You're home plate.
foulhomeplate
↓
1ba7cd31-2ec6-4a1b-a51f-26717001b43d.gif
- You don't get a vote. - Do over.
vote
↓
5e134c04-8b27-40b7-93ca-a687f84003a9.gif
Fine by me.
↓
caabca7f-1a2d-4d48-9671-6d69a9b01a4a.gif
Oh, crap!
↓
814c3bcb-e3d3-4c09-a127-ea43cc806ea9.gif
- Now we really have to quit. - Yeah.
quit
↓
7e3ef198-2737-4e88-8247-245137f79747.gif
- But that was a triple. - Get back up there.
triple
↓
34c84a53-48c2-42d2-9b56-6412de5a2ee8.gif
Let me ask you, how do you see yourselves?
yourselves
↓
342d1991-6236-460e-a00a-4182dcf8c13c.gif
Reese, what do you think your role in the family is?
familyreeserole
↓
aa000714-a7db-4e10-b3fb-23fa9c45d144.gif
I guess I'm the bad boy.
↓
b5279146-c81c-4068-a806-7d1207ffa1e1.gif
The one that ruins everything. Every family has that guy.
familyruins
↓
a19e7620-bfd8-4a34-9f10-2b970798a9f6.gif
The one that makes you cry, makes you hate coming home at the end of the day
comingcoming-homehatehomemakes
↓
bc48941a-a6b0-4170-8e8d-b7f8f227f253.gif
just knowing I'm gonna be there.
knowing
↓
551ce254-2ebc-48de-9825-c4066f578da0.gif
It's a lot of work, but...
↓
2edb0834-cf90-4243-8dc2-ae46fe43b223.gif
I guess it's pretty satisfying.
satisfying
↓
a7c672ba-76c4-47a4-b9f0-ec52c5d1e4f7.gif
What are you looking at, monkey-boy?
lookingmonkey
↓
73dfcbf7-e48f-4e10-8916-e9df1188aab2.gif
Ow! Ow! Ow!
↓
bf4a99b2-c835-421c-a30e-a6040b1e1634.gif
- Reese! - What are you doing?
reese
↓
b25d3b8a-4946-4404-b43d-fdbec64f925f.gif
Help! Ow! Help!
↓
3d2324e1-e489-4d28-bc68-7442200e5be0.gif
- Mom, help! - Come on, cut it out, cut it out.
↓
561f4e11-1f9a-4c72-a12a-f41ce8aadc4a.gif
Help! It hurts! Ow!
hurts
↓
242038bd-297d-4fc1-8b9e-11e88a968ea4.gif
- Knock it off, you little-- - Reese! What the heck are you doing?
heckknockreese
↓
847ef0ea-f597-4ec9-be94-da92af3950b3.gif
Honest to God, you can't leave that kid alone for five minutes
alonefivefive-minuteshonestminutes
↓
a22631aa-8c8a-4176-886f-6c9dd86189cc.gif
- without picking on him! No! - I didn't do anything! He's lying.
lyingpicking
↓
eccdbce4-a562-4a50-b762-46ab2b640c8f.gif
- What you looking at? - Reese's report card.
cardlookingreesesreportreport-card
↓
d04c25f0-6287-4fa7-9415-05ac64a84254.gif
It is much better than last time.
↓
e625bddb-3fe5-49f8-af20-12e2f41f8e88.gif
- Really? - Yeah.
↓
352ba618-46f6-4b55-a59a-541a5b194d10.gif
This time he used the exact same brand of pen as the teacher to change his grade.
brandchangeexactgradeteacherused
↓
a1fa8110-2c55-4a3a-be01-d88fb641e0bb.gif
Look at that.
↓
188c6810-6db4-4721-9560-03a449cc36c0.gif
He gave himself a C in Math instead of an A-plus.
mathplus
↓
8d838b4d-f4a8-42c2-910d-2d38f9e67ab2.gif
Yeah, subtle. Nice attention to detail.
attentiondetailsubtle
↓
1354c69c-0f43-49cd-9bda-a2c231325c9e.gif
He's really learning. Two months grounded?
groundedlearningmonths
↓
6cbf8e20-2702-4ebd-9322-d6af2d25f1fc.gif
Three months, scrubbing toilets.
monthsscrubbingthreethree-monthstoilets
↓
e1ed0e79-dcd4-48ae-9551-dcc3e622fbc1.gif
And how do you see your place in this family?
familyplace
↓
23a7ada0-c1e4-410e-961b-a0ab7fef6339.gif
Well, I'm the favorite.
favorite
↓
738df072-4b02-44da-b4eb-c4fd59948397.gif
You know, the one everybody loves the most.
everybodyeverybody-lovesloves
↓
a8fdd2dd-eea6-44b1-9289-203b7d0c7a87.gif
The cute one.
cute
↓
0537fe9c-e0f6-4b61-803b-624e2da0151b.gif
The one everybody looks out for and gives presents to,
everybodygivespresents
↓
c33cea0e-b6e8-4136-aecf-919bb343029c.gif
and sometimes even make the birds sing to me,
birdssingsometimes
↓
2d5edcda-fef3-4f35-b17d-edf1e91404ac.gif
or the clouds spell out my name.
cloudsnamespell
↓
69283a61-2f97-4328-9f5a-9f6142beaa07.gif
Come on.
↓
5e50dff5-94a8-43d5-9436-33041539889e.gif
You said I could play!
↓
e90863ff-f71d-4c94-acae-7596de7099fb.gif
- You have to go down there again. - No.
↓
263aaba4-143c-4e53-a3e7-295994841564.gif
Come on, you're the only one that'll fit.
thatll
↓
6f0b3c3f-bc48-4df0-940f-f7019ac98888.gif
No, I always go get it, and you never let me play.
↓
17c31294-a919-4cd8-a069-408da0f4bec9.gif
- We'll let you play. - We promise.
promise
↓
ed179e91-3718-462a-9692-2de9fd00f7fd.gif
Come on. Throw it here. You promised.
promisedthrow
↓
61dbc7e7-6feb-4fa8-8832-7c82a03bdd9c.gif
No way.
↓
725ddf93-350c-4f43-a538-527ca753e7db.gif
What? Can't sleep?
sleep
↓
6a0970ae-b89d-4d31-bd28-ee061d56dd20.gif
No, I have this terrible feeling we've forgotten something.
feelingforgotten
↓
a74053bd-6ba6-4b5f-9a27-4d1538978ece.gif
Trash, locks, lights...
lightslockstrash
↓
d864976d-fa86-439c-aafd-b73d8f4db937.gif
Oh, well, whatever it is, I'm sure it can wait until morning.
morning
↓
6bfeeaa9-c21c-4d48-a340-592b8183f96f.gif
Oh, boy.
↓
6c034035-bd6a-4d81-866f-90d3106760cd.gif
All right, son.
↓
168f8a3e-92e6-4acd-b84e-a8d589fb9ef3.gif
Son, I think you've learned your lesson.
learnedlesson
↓
787203c4-d436-4aef-a63e-f5a59e63f40a.gif
Okay.
↓
a6c2ade7-837d-4253-9369-29ee1fe69df1.gif
Thanks, Dad.
thanks
↓
7523ec68-280a-467e-8f02-4b0cd6ce5eb9.gif
Gotta stop doing this.
↓
69c136ee-ef99-488c-a377-8c7caa096fa2.gif
Hup!
↓
edc8904f-a86e-4fdf-8233-fb3f094c390d.gif
I try not to throw it in their faces,
facesthrow
↓
1e4973d1-df25-4875-8d99-fdbcd3ac0968.gif
but sometimes, you know, I just can't help it.
sometimes
↓
cb380ab5-82e0-42da-bd84-e41786fa3c3e.gif
What about you, Malcolm? What's your place in the family?
familymalcolmplace
↓
c6b59fe9-7f7e-4a3d-b2d0-cc4b9ee6359f.gif
I don't know, I'm the middle one.
middle
↓
50e92523-9835-4982-91a7-3f5adcafc1d6.gif
Well, really think about it.
↓
35528dca-39b1-4800-851c-4fa1959bfad5.gif
How do you fit in with this family?
family
↓
7484dd42-6304-4042-8a77-c430196f0a2f.gif
Well...
↓
08708cdc-d372-4dbe-a67d-bace4b9fb082.gif
I...
↓
74787fe7-2999-45f3-a6c0-a8f5bf6f08b7.gif
Go ahead.
aheadgo-ahead
↓
836f9a29-034c-4b5b-827e-a8bbe5af92ef.gif
Well, I guess I...
↓
b4cea42d-c558-4128-9ae1-97206b7740d6.gif
don't.
↓
61c17093-ff54-4b76-bc49-226777881530.gif
I don't fit in.
↓
b24c2e21-e10e-4321-8804-39c4cceca1fd.gif
I mean, honestly, sometimes I feel like I've been dropped
droppedsometimes
↓
bd8d2d1e-e079-4c0d-9475-0a71f1e191f3.gif
into this family from outer space.
familyouterouter-spacespace
↓
4c3e9805-f11e-424d-8b86-49c4b4ed9ff8.gif
Well, that's interesting.
interesting
↓
47fc99a1-f1bc-4acc-9e3b-70a43b8846f0.gif
- Now, how--? - Well, he's the one that fixes everything.
↓
bca9b2b6-0af0-40c1-be12-32e5bd0824ae.gif
- What? - Yeah.
↓
29c496ad-9ec3-4454-befd-5de6869b6696.gif
You know, he figures everything out and solves a lot of our problems.
figuresproblemssolves
↓
85f1996e-492a-46f3-948b-01538af46f51.gif
Yeah, kind of like that gay kid with the scarf on Scooby-Doo.
scarfscooby
↓
301a9095-70ab-492b-9732-1d3d736078fe.gif
The leader.
leader
↓
c74b312b-3fb0-4b7c-b40a-82ddf859006a.gif
You guys think that?
↓
9ce53f1a-a861-4dc1-ad71-2b65dd0a88aa.gif
Well, sure they do.
↓
5821268d-d3cc-43b8-993e-9bcff69736ca.gif
I mean, it's pretty obvious that you're the ringleader.
obvious
↓
8856549b-67d7-4c26-906d-b8597f0735ae.gif
- What? - It happens all the time.
happens
↓
eaab49ae-3b29-42bb-a01a-d02c6067fc4f.gif
An intelligent, sensitive kid with poor impulse control.
controlimpulseintelligentpoorsensitive
↓
0ff0e353-21af-4c5a-9832-1d465a304f8c.gif
I mean, you're surrounded by people who don't challenge you mentally.
challengementallysurrounded
↓
3eaabc64-92c1-458e-9203-1b95cb58582f.gif
So, you start to get bored, and you start looking for trouble.
boredlookingstarttrouble
↓
a3ea192b-32cb-4ce9-ab6a-b8544b250e34.gif
- No, I don't. - Isn't that what happened the other night?
happenednight
↓
f12d9543-c531-45ca-bfe4-c7d406570bae.gif
You were sitting with your brothers, nothing to do but watch TV,
brotherssittingwatch
↓
388170a3-59d5-4764-b8a4-21ace4b76ef2.gif
thinking the only way to end the crushing boredom
crushingthinking
↓
241869fe-8837-47b0-9736-8c7e3ab7c3c2.gif
is to stir up a little excitement?
excitementstir
↓
ad6cc848-eca3-4e37-b8da-a588b56d6c07.gif
- He didn't do it! - None of us did!
↓
582f561c-7c0f-4901-ba89-19a9dd230678.gif
You know, there's a lot of options for a boy like you.
options
↓
7f85e164-5abf-47a9-8585-242053fc341c.gif
I mean, there's placement programs, camps, special schools...
campsplacementprogramsschoolsspecial
↓
ef58273b-3d4d-4be4-bc37-d034833fa29b.gif
Wait. You want to send me away?
send
↓
91b54545-a173-44b6-a679-107017ace3b0.gif
- You can't do that! - He's our brother!
brother
↓
95834162-e06d-4057-b99c-235964714add.gif
- Calm down. I merely suggested-- - I'm not going!
calmmerelysuggested
↓
dfd54274-e445-40af-99ba-befc38bdf78f.gif
- You can't make him do this! - We're good kids!
kids
↓
2ae3b240-ecd0-4fdb-8175-8ab7769c97d8.gif
Ow!
↓
59428c27-6be0-497d-a5a1-2072406482fc.gif
Hal.
↓
f848907a-564e-4af4-a8bc-b6e47eab2881.gif
I'm late for work.
late
↓
c3e078a2-dc71-4500-8c1a-461554cfc8db.gif
- Don't do this! - You can't leave me alone with Reese!
alonereese
↓
4830bf9a-0a96-493c-816d-5c77cd8b3eef.gif
I'm sorry, but we're out of time.
↓
149ddcca-cf3a-4145-b083-2a31b8a00070.gif
What is the deal with this door?
dealdoor
↓
6c87ccd1-2343-4e83-bc34-fa3542cc282d.gif
Is there some kind of baffling built into it?
built
↓
0afc5e38-59ec-4a36-a193-6b37c442c017.gif
You have three very special boys here.
boysspecialthree
↓
6789ef07-ae21-4d17-94fa-8e8f28bd01f6.gif
I'd like to sit down with you and your wife so that we can--
wife
↓
49e861be-6a40-4929-930a-7cc9dfa310ac.gif
Dad, do you know this idiot wants to do?
idiotwants
↓
1d05782f-4de5-4406-861d-50a47f2dd322.gif
Malcolm, let me talk to the doctor, hmm?
doctormalcolm
↓
643bf3c6-e532-4e53-8a99-5dfc39c7ec27.gif
- Maybe we ought to speak privately. - Sure. Boys, go wait in the car.
boysoughtprivatelyspeak
↓
1d6b2f42-e215-418a-abd7-ce73800c787b.gif
- Where'd that come from? - Everyone all right?
whered
↓
74b9818a-2cf3-48e8-9f30-92c069260254.gif
What? That's my car!
↓
bf3ada59-9317-48b3-b4c7-3179f9f150fe.gif
- What? I know I set the brake. - See? Just like the other night.
brakenight
↓
ba4e7252-e280-4632-80d4-34a20413ec33.gif
We didn't take it out. It just rolled out by itself.
rolled
↓
723c4e79-e02f-4c8a-aed0-c28bcf26812c.gif
Then you boys were actually telling us the truth?
boystellingtruth
↓
c729b8b4-d38a-4b74-9282-75919f37d324.gif
You're a genius.
genius
↓
bc43d767-b37d-4d55-aa11-73cf68fc968c.gif
Boys, let's go get you some ice cream, huh?
boyscream
↓
dd10491a-a4b2-4b82-b2ae-b7cc92ea688c.gif
- Listen, there's a lot we haven't-- - Oh, absolutely.
absolutely
↓
edbf1ddb-8b68-42cd-b61d-110dd51b51af.gif
You know, doc, I have no idea how you did it.
idea
↓
1dc56f20-6d03-4695-8c4d-fb3567ebd30c.gif
And in just an hour.
hour
↓
aacb9302-99f0-4519-9613-def72bdaf902.gif
I'm putting in a little extra for you.
extraputting
↓
9b67cd98-be4e-46f7-909b-b6080ca2186d.gif
- But-- - Thanks.
thanks
↓
04cef706-d273-407c-9998-a3137b360428.gif
Oh, isn't it great to feel like a family again?
family
↓
e46a6e9d-19d7-4173-a424-7c6ea1435f87.gif
Genius.
genius
↓
1cd07c07-4dac-4c61-ab16-e4adb1cf9770.gif
- Move! - Shut up!
↓
3ce64d61-f494-42cb-899b-427c43ab7073.gif
- Stop touching me! - I'm not. I was clipping on my tie.
touching
↓
99fb8c98-9f20-47b2-a4ca-d8ae450fb808.gif
- While you were touching me. - Stop it!
touching
↓
2322f0b6-d932-4829-b939-fe60597bee03.gif
Why do we have to do this?
↓
fc839a12-a0f8-49f1-8117-4173d655af7d.gif
We don't have a single picture of us all together. That's ridiculous.
pictureridiculoussingle
↓
1b03ccec-4657-494f-9bf4-8c346074c55e.gif
We're a family, we should have a family portrait.
familyportrait
↓
6c5ef8d3-46b1-4879-99ab-4c2b3b72d78b.gif
Well, Francis isn't here.
francis
↓
2d61fa7e-d03c-4035-b01b-3fdd8cd4c672.gif
I'm not gonna cough up 200 bucks to fly him in for one silly picture.
buckscoughpicturesilly
↓
34f16845-89c8-4b21-b34a-59b2de1d4ca0.gif
Where's Dewey?
dewey
↓
475555b2-fa89-4dec-9a9b-29de66a3a175.gif
Dewey, get out of there. That's not your family.
deweyfamily
↓
9ef282de-1514-4330-bd37-a424cb687d7f.gif
You sure you want Autumn Leaves as a backdrop?
autumnleaves
↓
d82455fa-6b9f-4731-8447-1c1a9059e347.gif
Yes.
↓
0ad75b66-55eb-4142-a10e-8ec8bce15150.gif
You didn't even look at Happy Windmills.
happy
↓
2d6caf35-d86d-4633-9357-1adcdf3fb0f5.gif
It's more colorful.
colorful
↓
ab59583b-7f9a-47fe-9260-b9d88ef77bad.gif
- Space Shuttle. - Next.
shuttlespacespace-shuttle
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I have a coupon here for one 8x10 and two wallet-size for 9.99,
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and that's what I want. I don't want the Golden Moments.
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I don't want Family and Friends Collection or the Lifetime of Love.
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I want one 8X10 and two wallet-size for 9.99.
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Fine. We have an installment plan, if that would help.
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I brought a picture of Francis.
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- He's gonna be in the portrait. - Cool, I'll hold it.
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- No, I'm going to hold it. - Let go! I'll hold it.
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- Dewey, pants on, mister. - Let go.
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Let me hold it.
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I'm sorry, this coupon's expired.
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- What? - It's expired.
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What you want will run you $39.50.
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Ooh! Lonely Beach.
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- We're kind of a Lonely Beach family. - Hal.
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But for another $5 you can have the Instant Memories set.
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That comes with double-exposure silhouettes for the grandparents.
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Look, could you please just do what I'm asking you to--?
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- I'm older! - It was my idea!
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That is it!
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Get up!
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Get back! Come here! Go there!
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We are gonna take this picture, and it is gonna be good.
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And that means no faces, no tongues, no crossed eyes, no bunny ears.
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We are going to smile, we are going to look good,
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it is gonna cost us 9.99,
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and all of this is gonna to happen by the time I count three.
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One, two, three.
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