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Home » Malcolm in the Middle » S03E18 — Poker #2

Malcolm in the Middle

Season 3, Episode 18 — Poker #2

TMDB episode metadata
Show: Malcolm in the Middle
Episode title: Poker 2
Air date: April 21, 2002
Director: Jeff Melman
Top billed cast: Frankie Muniz, Jane Kaczmarek, Bryan Cranston, Justin Berfield, Erik Per Sullivan, Christopher Masterson
Girls in the house spell trouble for the boys, who are on their own while Dad's hosting a poker game that's more about one-upmanship than cards.
Source: TMDB
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Good night, honey.
honeynightnight-honey
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Good night.
night
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Oh, honey, please not tonight, it's freezing.
freezinghoneytonight
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♪ Yes, no, maybe ♪
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♪ I don't know ♪
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♪ Can you repeat the question? ♪
questionrepeat
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♪ Life is unfair ♪
lifeunfair
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Oh, I almost forgot.
forgot
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- Do you know Brian's daughter, Chandra? - Yeah.
briansdaughter
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- Of course. - Well, Brian's bringing her over tonight,
briansbringingcoursetonight
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- and I think she's bringing a friend. - Kristen?
bringingfriend
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Uh-huh.
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with the door closed. Got it?
closeddoor
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Who's Chandra?
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She's no one to you, understood?
understood
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If you set one foot in our room tonight, you are dead.
deadfootroomtonight
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Where am I supposed to go?
supposed
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- Hi, honey. - Hello.
honey
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- You're working late tonight, right? - Yeah, 10:30 at least.
latelate-tonightleasttonightworking
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Well, can I help?
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Thanks. Don't worry, he'll be gone by the time you get back.
gonethanksworry
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- Hi, Hal. - Hey, Brian, how are you?
brian
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They're here. Get out.
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Boys, I know you know Brian, and I think you kids know each other.
boysbriankids
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- Yeah. - No.
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Anyway, entertain yourselves.
entertainyourselves
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Yes, your father and I have to conduct some business.
businessconductfather
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It seems that he has some of my money in his wallet.
moneyseemswallet
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- Bring it on. - All right.
bring
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May I take your wrap?
wrap
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Listen, just because my dad dragged us to this dump
draggeddump
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doesn't mean we have to talk to you.
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Just show us where we can sit where we won't catch fleas.
catch
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- I'm gonna go see what Dewey's doing. - Hey.
deweys
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Oh, you're Stevie, right?
stevie
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Can we help you in?
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I'm not...
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- deaf. - Did you hear him breathe?
breathedeaf
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Aw!
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All right, did you hear the one about the astronaut and the hooker?
astronauthooker
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Yeah. I didn't get it.
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Dewey, I told you to stay in your room.
deweyroom
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- But Reese said-- - No, Dewey, this is man time.
deweyreese
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You can't be here.
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How's the dip?
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Hey, Hal, this is a sweet table.
sweettable
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- What is it, a 52-incher? - Yes, siree.
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Nice. I got the 54.
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Yeah, but you don't have the built-in drink holders like I do.
builtdrinkholders
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Or the extra-padded leather around the edges like mine.
edgesextraleatherpadded
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You can play all night and not feel it in your wrists the next day.
night
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- Oh, but this is nice, too, Hal. - Sweet.
sweet
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This is sweet.
sweet
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How do you live your life with only three keys? I've got five.
fivekeyslifelivethree
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- I've got nine. - I've got seven.
nineseven
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Guys, guys, guys, do we have to do this every week?
week
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You're right.
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So, uh, how's the kids?
kids
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You're just asking so you can talk about yours.
asking
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Hey, why shouldn't I? Did I tell you
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that James was made captain of the wrestling team?
captainjamesteamwrestling
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Stevie just wrote a brand-new antivirus program.
brandprogramsteviewrote
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My daughter's essay scored her a trip to the White House.
daughtersessayhousescoredtripwhitewhite-house
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Malcolm has an IQ of 165.
malcolm
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We know, you've been using that for six months.
monthsusing
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Would you like something from the kitchen?
kitchen
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No, thank you.
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He doesn't want anything.
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You think they'll offer to change his diapers?
changediapersoffer
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I can't believe Stevie's putting up with this.
believeputtingstevies
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Get a blanket.
blanket
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- Would you like a blanket? - I'll take care of it.
blanketcare
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Girls, let me explain something to you about Stevie.
explaingirlsstevie
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He's no different than the rest of us.
rest
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He plays video games,
gamesplaysvideovideo-games
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he does chores around the house, he goes to the movies with friends.
choresfriendshousemovies
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He leads a completely normal life.
completelycompletely-normalleadslifenormalnormal-life
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It's sad that he only has two months to live.
livemonths
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- What? - What?
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Stevie, they have a right to know.
stevie
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Oh, my God.
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Is it true?
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I've been told...
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I'm very brave.
brave
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Oh!
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One twenty nine. That didn't beat Malik.
beatmalikninetwentytwenty-nine
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So, Malik wins the breath-holding. Abe got the most dip on a chip.
breathchipholdingmalikwins
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Trey has the longest neck.
longestnecktrey
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Steve has the highest socks, and Hal, well... Hal has nothing so far.
highestsockssteve
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Yeah, the doctors are baffled.
doctors
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Stevie's brain is growing too big for his head.
braingrowingheadstevies
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It's pressing up against his skull.
pressingskull
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They say he only has two months before it explodes.
explodesmonths
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It's called...
called
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encephalo...
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neurop...
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uh...
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- litis. - How horrible.
horrible
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- What do you think you're doing? - Helping Stevie.
helpingstevie
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It's okay.
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It's weird, but it feels good helping people.
feelshelpingweird
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I like being the hero.
hero
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You're pimping a fatal disease to take advantage of a girl.
advantagediseasefatalgirl
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For good.
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Stevie, this is so unfair.
stevieunfair
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I have no regrets.
regrets
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Well...
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one.
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"Old business." What do you think that means?
business
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- I don't know. - An old boyfriend or something?
boyfriend
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You know, I have no idea what it is.
idea
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Sometimes those old relationships can really get a hold on you.
relationshipssometimes
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- Hey, what's up with her ex-husband? - He's still in jail.
husbandjail
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Didn't his parole hearing just come up?
hearingparole
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I don't know. Maybe.
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Look, she'll tell me about it tonight. Whatever it is.
shelltonight
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- Man, I really admire your maturity. - Thank you.
admirematurity
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I'm the complete opposite. I overanalyze everything.
completecomplete-oppositeopposite
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Like how Piama didn't kiss you goodbye.
goodbyekisspiama
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I'd be totally fixated on that.
fixated
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Or her ex-husband being locked up without a woman for five years. Ha!
fivefive-yearshusbandlockedwomanyears
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That's what's wrong with me, one suspicious conversation
conversationsuspicious
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and immediately I picture sweaty bodies rolling around in front of a fireplace.
bodiesfireplacefrontimmediatelypicturerollingsweaty
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God, I've got a lot of growing up to do.
growing
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What are you doing here? Get out.
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You kicked me out of my room already, so I have nowhere else to go.
kickedroom
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That's not my problem.
problem
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And I don't wanna hear you crying. It's a real mood-killer.
cryingkillermoodreal
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Thanks, Chandra, this light's much better for his eyes.
eyeslightsthanks
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♪ I'll never break your heart... ♪
breakheart
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The music helps regulate...
helpsmusic
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my heartbeat.
heartbeat
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I just have to go call his vitals in to the doctor.
doctorvitals
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♪ I'd rather die than live without you ♪
live
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♪ I'll give you all of me ♪
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♪ Honey, that's no lie ♪
honey
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♪ I'll never break your heart ♪
breakheart
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- Missing something? - What did you do with it?
missing
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What are you doing with a gun?
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- Are you insane? - Give it back.
insane
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No. You don't bring a gun into this house. You don't get to have a gun.
bringhouse
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- Where is it? - This is where my family lives.
familylives
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You don't know them and you bring a gun here?
bring
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- What the hell is wrong with you? - Tell me where it is.
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- No way, you can't have a gun. - It's not mine. It's my boyfriend's.
boyfriends
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I'm just holding it because his parents search his room.
holdingparentsroomsearch
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Well, they should, he's got a gun.
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- Tell me where it is. - No.
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It's not even mine.
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Do you have anything in this house that isn't junk?
housejunk
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No.
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Oh, damn!
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Big deal. Who can stuff the most pretzels in their mouth at one time?
dealmouthpretzelsstuff
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Okay, who can throw a potato chip the farthest?
chipfarthestpotatothrow
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I've never met anyone who was gonna die before.
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We're all dying...
dying
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I'm just...
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going...
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before Thanksgiving.
thanksgiving
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That's terrible.
↓
8683d234-f63f-4f24-9a4e-2b7a7d78e5b9.gif
It makes me...
makes
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appreciate the time...
appreciate
↓
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I have.
↓
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Wow. That's beautiful.
↓
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You're so...
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b30cd0e3-40f7-4aa9-b377-87951be16b99.gif
alive.
alive
↓
e0506318-0691-4c60-9c38-c39ef3d81374.gif
Can I...
↓
67a85276-2378-40ae-ba07-340f08030dfe.gif
- tongue-kiss you? - What?
kisstongue
↓
30623174-3e6a-430a-9bb8-82f76f2360bd.gif
I'm sorry.
↓
fae087d0-7acf-4235-b47a-889854067c0d.gif
The pressure on my brain.
brainpressure
↓
82c18cda-dbb6-4c94-9a78-b01428ef3cc2.gif
Oh, you poor baby.
babypoorpoor-baby
↓
cb8874d5-eb7b-449c-8a5a-4868b171e88d.gif
- What are you doing here? - What do you think?
↓
6a2dec3f-09b1-4128-a895-6d8ea769f7f0.gif
Go pee outside.
↓
899492e7-3a68-479b-af88-0ff5efbbdc96.gif
Oh, for God's sake.
godsgods-sakesake
↓
431368f5-d5d7-4189-8843-08aef2c6e2fd.gif
Out.
↓
9cf1b258-e26b-4f0b-be35-25e58422a45a.gif
At the tone, the time will be 8:22 and 30 seconds.
secondstone
↓
2b55016e-fcc7-4e66-917c-ab68d7b78512.gif
Bam. Right to the millisecond.
↓
66f517f4-b211-4fc6-9be0-7c4493d0734c.gif
- I'm two seconds off. - I'm three.
secondsthree
↓
17de1a87-dfca-4712-91cd-c239a3502f5c.gif
Same here.
↓
0c3134da-060a-40c5-9702-fc5defca4b89.gif
Hal, you don't even have a minute hand.
handminute
↓
d239fde2-548e-4c3c-8b77-563e563dc7c9.gif
Well, it's really more of a decorative piece.
piece
↓
ba62e4eb-6bff-4f7f-8d5d-514f38e825f3.gif
- Where is it? - Where's what?
↓
0ed0630c-b8e1-4b58-b1fb-332fde4e9a59.gif
Full house, nines over aces.
acesfullfull-househousenines
↓
56382c1b-30d1-42df-b545-c37cd161b45f.gif
Yeah, looks like I'm on a roll, and I expect to stay on one
expectroll
↓
da20bba5-ebdd-44fb-a9ed-7f806ac72d62.gif
once I get home to Alana, if you know what I mean.
home
↓
361b4d44-a41d-4733-8ce4-11d0a135b245.gif
And so, what is this, the third Wednesday of the month?
monththirdwednesday
↓
86c6eb91-1b1e-443c-9fda-25cb039927fd.gif
- Oh! - Hey, I do fine, thank you very much.
↓
c415f64e-5a12-4471-a4ca-22c03f0564e1.gif
Oh, yeah, what's the number?
number
↓
f4a6576b-015c-4133-a42d-9906a8598c88.gif
Whoa, whoa, whoa, we're not gonna do this.
whoawhoa-whoawhoa-whoa-whoa
↓
6d00cbd8-4f6d-41da-b44a-bde5958d912c.gif
Just deal the cards, will you?
cardsdeal
↓
9c1c8366-c721-4958-bdcb-eeb32e209870.gif
- Three. - Four.
fourthreethree-four
↓
eee75c38-37fd-488b-8ada-f56f36660faf.gif
Five.
five
↓
3c269746-701a-4393-85c7-571ce75f8846.gif
- Two. - Two?
↓
9d1d4a9d-e253-4ace-82e1-cfd2015190ee.gif
- Ouch! - Ouch!
ouch
↓
561e0120-30e5-44b9-b43d-7f85500aceec.gif
Just twice a week?
twiceweek
↓
82359cac-fa90-4be4-a468-e27344ad227e.gif
Oh, per week? Oh, then...
week
↓
2f4546f9-c908-48be-a886-24075659565d.gif
14.
↓
052251b6-872f-4eed-9973-cdbcabb8c7d3.gif
- Fourteen? Come on. - No way.
fourteen
↓
aa998a78-0239-4e1b-9f93-9dbcb5902a21.gif
No, he's telling the truth, believe me. I went on vacation with him.
believetellingtruthvacation
↓
78297d64-6999-48f6-8381-4657393abc28.gif
If anything, he's underselling himself.
↓
424b83d8-3e42-4df8-9941-1069b09b541f.gif
Well, I... guess I win.
↓
573305bc-f861-4359-8b70-2882ec4e261b.gif
I mean, it's really none of your business.
business
↓
a828d14c-97d3-431f-a23c-d347a493713f.gif
I don't care how you wear your socks, you ain't beating that.
aintbeatingcaresockswear
↓
1564071f-db2b-495a-81ea-a68f56cd7c70.gif
Hey, hats off to you, man.
hats
↓
fd924b89-dc1f-4767-96d7-45dc9f7c085c.gif
Yeah, now we know why you're so bad at poker.
poker
↓
655335c3-d976-4ae7-a71a-0b087953de37.gif
I don't even know how you can keep your eyes open.
eyeseyes-openopen
↓
361dafda-94cf-48df-bbda-b663123a0bb7.gif
Oh, you'd better watch it, Hal.
watch
↓
4610884d-b8c6-4a10-a50f-7931a2b47e0e.gif
She must be angling for something big.
must
↓
a107e5aa-b290-40bf-9eb5-ae8abc6a51af.gif
- What are you talking about? - You know she's gonna want
↓
dbedd6d4-def4-43db-b5ce-7d4f72ee791b.gif
something in exchange. You don't get anything free with women.
exchangefreewomen
↓
442921d8-1c34-4547-9718-2068206f74b5.gif
Listen to you.
↓
d4ff3311-57a3-4e9f-a108-cfdc661ee622.gif
With that attitude, it's no wonder you're not doing any better.
attitudewonder
↓
3a1c8f51-b3e6-4455-8596-1e0f5ba01629.gif
Oh!
↓
60142535-4a1c-4cea-aed8-7001d7d54e25.gif
Well, don't put that on me, pal.
↓
674811bd-4be8-4003-98ba-20758f3d5bb9.gif
- Can we...? - Let me ask you something.
↓
925b0e1d-58a4-4662-b211-2af878aa4d5f.gif
When was the last time you sent your wife flowers?
flowerssentwife
↓
53876b16-c9db-474b-b64e-5bba380ed8a8.gif
How come it's always the man
↓
315bf5f8-00ab-4195-82fa-303f35767a78.gif
that has to send the flowers? I would love to get some flowers.
flowerslovesend
↓
977f115c-15a5-4946-bfd2-95858ab749d4.gif
Might as well stretch, this is gonna take a while.
mightstretch
↓
e68ca135-b37a-4b38-964b-564e0ac81375.gif
Did you ever stop to think that women
women
↓
da6e3cbb-37e1-4586-85eb-302994cb15f9.gif
are independent human beings who can make their own...
beingshumanhuman-beingsindependent
↓
cf29f3e8-d7bc-454a-952e-14df142da2f0.gif
Choices. If you look at any successful relationship,
choicesrelationshipsuccessful
↓
16265ec9-f4f9-4705-8249-d71d5cb963c4.gif
you'll find one common element at their core: trust.
commoncoreelementtrust
↓
a9c8ae86-06a3-4fe6-9a11-274582600b76.gif
That's fine, Francis,
francis
↓
57ff8b43-325f-41e0-af5c-86c6f89ce058.gif
but I really didn't need the hour-and-20-minute speech.
hourminutespeech
↓
d190f6c8-11ab-4f01-8a82-4b6c13d04999.gif
I was just gonna ask if you wanted to take off early
earlywanted
↓
f6f1cf58-24f4-4338-b4fb-5d215a271ae2.gif
because I was willing to cover your shift,
covershiftwilling
↓
1964481a-a365-4fde-a41f-3d13ec6c8108.gif
but evidently you're not concerned, so I--
concernedevidently
↓
4aff5279-a99d-4334-840f-7aa1e2bda956.gif
You like...
↓
c9f130f7-2739-4650-9571-28dfd0bd2719.gif
- this? - Oh, yeah.
↓
a2f8ddbd-ba25-4e2d-b697-488277dbb3f0.gif
You know something, Stevie?
stevie
↓
e01777f3-0966-46f3-9f03-7e8278f71ae2.gif
Maybe it was meant for me to be here with you, you know?
meant
↓
bf764539-f436-412b-8eea-28d7d89683f3.gif
I mean, wasn't it fate that made Dawson's Creek a rerun so I came here?
creekfatererun
↓
1029841e-2f7b-473b-933b-8b4f28f945fa.gif
I guess fate...
fate
↓
2160aaa5-2a3c-48a1-8d76-398f51d9da0e.gif
can be kind...
↓
1d458ad7-96ab-4dc2-9cca-f1b1a9b64ef5.gif
too.
↓
f17827bd-c812-453d-b9b4-77b65f553fa7.gif
Oh, this is so awful.
awful
↓
1fd3ca13-8b10-4532-9b12-b4d0eda4cb70.gif
Stop.
↓
ab218006-de4f-4eae-82b7-19cb82788e82.gif
- It's okay. - No, it's not okay.
↓
fbee7403-2b88-4d57-abc5-596c04baa662.gif
I just keep thinking about everything you're gonna miss out on.
missthinking
↓
729ccbc5-0dd0-4d47-8f88-b0edc9b96c8b.gif
You're never gonna grow up.
grow
↓
26aa06cf-98db-4cfc-bdc6-86c3160b1b4d.gif
You're never gonna go to your prom.
prom
↓
6bcdeff8-421e-419b-b153-1a4536642c41.gif
I mean, you're never gonna know what it's like to be loved.
loved
↓
c277095b-0cde-4325-8d77-b73429f702dd.gif
What I'm thinking about doing,
thinking
↓
d92d22bc-0d91-4a68-bf67-3946a9ee3f58.gif
it goes against everything I believe in, okay?
believe
↓
88b943a9-a614-4268-acb5-09f6431873a3.gif
But then, I don't even know what I believe in anymore.
anymorebelieve
↓
174af2ff-320a-46e3-bc1f-c1dc6c5b6071.gif
It's like, what kind of a God could just let you die like this?
↓
e60b5366-3b5e-44ac-b4ac-35b127f464c3.gif
I'll ask...
↓
1b6a4ca7-2fdb-4398-9595-5700df7d98fa.gif
when I see him.
↓
f9ccf610-23a7-449a-be57-5410bab803f5.gif
When was the last time you just made time to talk to her?
↓
d820d599-8d06-4f80-9fdb-cefdffa3efd8.gif
You're perfectly happy just closing off and not sharing your feelings.
closingfeelingshappyperfectlysharing
↓
754d5888-ed3c-4933-a653-12e2bcee50f6.gif
- Why don't you just get off my back? - There it is, you're shutting me out!
shutting
↓
cae3ed64-9437-4bbe-bd55-c64ae9ae3fa8.gif
Why can't you just talk to me?
↓
382080a8-46fb-4e41-8aaf-d8cab65f6cbb.gif
So that you can twist my words around and just throw them back at me?
throwtwistwords
↓
b79e27cb-e0bd-4bf6-8c8a-0ffec8bd04cd.gif
How many times do I have to apologize for that?
apologizetimes
↓
1bb9f4d5-295a-4d89-a2d9-7ef9126cb0c0.gif
You've been drinking, haven't you?
drinking
↓
1de16f06-de78-4ec7-83b8-a2853fe515eb.gif
Well, I warned you, but you didn't give me any other choice.
choicewarned
↓
dff82fa0-6347-41e1-b02e-cfaefc9e7337.gif
Now my boyfriend's coming over. He's gonna get that gun from you.
boyfriendscoming
↓
723a6ab3-ddd6-40a1-97b8-14f291dd156e.gif
Oh, little Markie Rosenbaum's gonna come over and scare me.
scare
↓
f732a6ab-9049-4c42-bca2-26d7508bb391.gif
I broke up with Markie.
broke
↓
6b5d52e2-490d-4e1f-8cde-8e41040ee11e.gif
- I'm dating Derek Fowler. - Derek Fowler?
datingderek
↓
083905f4-93d5-4a96-9928-3b2fad56c6b6.gif
He's a psycho! What happened to Markie?
happenedpsycho
↓
1d85a6e8-85e4-49cb-9621-7494a902712a.gif
I loved Markie. You guys were great together.
loved
↓
6c2a31c0-0744-4e08-9497-aac4975632a4.gif
You know, Derek's gonna make you tell him where that gun is.
↓
132309b8-b0bf-4fa1-a37e-d0c111f2a959.gif
Where are you going?
↓
8e905401-1cc3-4932-ae6a-d89061435856.gif
I don't wanna be anywhere near here when he shows up.
nearshows
↓
5d01ae5f-048e-4034-9cb1-8b77fb1d5af3.gif
Chandra, I'm going home!
home
↓
af85eae5-3dfe-4847-88d6-498816dd36ba.gif
Sayo...
↓
b9ecda96-432b-4301-a1b4-f01de3293ca6.gif
nara.
↓
6a7dd2dc-bc4f-4c2d-9df2-c80dd0bc1188.gif
- Well, maybe I'll just call the cops. - Go ahead.
aheadcopsgo-ahead
↓
ae6b2b66-01d2-4966-a754-72e3fee41a12.gif
Let's hope they get here first.
hope
↓
1216be8e-28ad-4050-99c6-a716d5bbea67.gif
That's it, I've had it!
↓
1b445ec5-7877-4225-a3b0-71e6b3677745.gif
- Dewey, shut up. - You guys broke all my stuff!
brokedeweystuff
↓
d03aa093-5f83-40d8-b39c-39fb4844a7e1.gif
Look, I've got something good going on in there
↓
94dddc5f-0a66-4242-9f85-5e82db6a9875.gif
- and I don't want you to ruin it. - This is all I have left!
leftruin
↓
e175d6e7-ec98-42c7-a97e-323dd205e5b9.gif
There, now you've got nothing to worry about.
worry
↓
35597a87-a898-45bd-a928-f475d35b3212.gif
End of discussion.
discussion
↓
dcaa0d66-e663-4886-8f8d-5e34e5a08249.gif
Oh, my God, how can a night that started out so badly get even worse?
badlynightstartedworse
↓
af9820da-ecd6-4b4c-841a-8ecdad728151.gif
Wait, don't panic. Think for a second.
panicsecond
↓
c97f1cc5-71a5-4a8f-a0f4-726b04677302.gif
No, this is good, this is sensible.
sensible
↓
5562b05a-f484-4971-8295-c66f95ca9d0b.gif
I make those kind of statements and just assume that she knows I'm sorry.
assumeknowsstatements
↓
9734f552-88ff-4240-9397-090df6c6a8f1.gif
Mm-hm.
↓
edc5788b-70ba-4603-addd-21336ec96479.gif
And you know what?
↓
fb9909a3-89d5-4533-8354-2ebab0637273.gif
That's not right. She deserves better than that.
deserves
↓
6d022e95-484e-4a6b-8ef1-bea395cb75a2.gif
- That's all I needed to hear. - I'm gonna call that woman up
neededwoman
↓
6853d522-068d-4cf0-84e9-1ca258a000b1.gif
- and tell her just how much I love her. - That's being a man.
love
↓
808b10f7-cd3d-47e6-b442-197779550d44.gif
- Yeah. - Go, go.
↓
58c436bd-2ab0-4e55-ab6b-a500d9c0a0b9.gif
Hello.
↓
0a5d2182-20ca-46a4-8e14-d7bd769ae9f7.gif
Earl, is that you?
earl
↓
04e2a3fa-67d7-4ed9-9064-eef991c94ebe.gif
Earl, what the hell you doing at my house?
earlhouse
↓
8051648b-4760-4bf6-b3e8-f5a51fcdae75.gif
Hello?
↓
1e226280-20eb-4346-a340-126743902870.gif
I'm going to go home now because I've got a thing to do tomorrow.
hometomorrow
↓
725fb297-b5dc-4e87-9241-590314daef56.gif
- Okay, take care. - Talk to you tomorrow.
caretomorrow
↓
dfba8e2e-43c2-4fd3-8aa2-ad1800f5887d.gif
- Catch you later. - Call you...
catch
↓
4440473d-f2e1-4a21-8c84-76d469150534.gif
Well, I guess the game's over.
games
↓
be3406a8-40e5-4947-9808-187f50f3351a.gif
- Yeah. - Yeah.
↓
4b702fc2-44b7-4705-9742-69112f56014c.gif
Okay.
↓
c110bd11-3f8a-4cc5-bd14-8968569ca2ec.gif
You know, I wondered why Earl never came to the game.
earlgamewondered
↓
b4774118-4307-4a64-8fa4-4ab193e08643.gif
Dad, I've tried to be understanding about all this, but there is a limit.
limittriedunderstanding
↓
0e42c823-cd19-4751-b23e-fb4e2cf68d87.gif
You have a right to know what's going on in this house.
house
↓
bd438b7f-719d-4387-aa30-548491aca34f.gif
Dewey, now is not the time to be--
dewey
↓
738686d9-b424-4148-a87a-2e3e851e1a43.gif
Normally, I don't mind being a snitch, but this even makes me sad.
makesmindnormallysnitch
↓
608bba58-fa18-4e50-a48e-4f52b122d8d3.gif
This is what your son is up to.
↓
4f0d844c-99bd-4bf5-8c37-6a7c3edb5227.gif
- Stevie! What are you doing? - Where's Reese?
reesestevie
↓
de225938-1f2a-4fe7-b7e0-4a374df4255b.gif
I was about to take a scented bath. Is something going on?
bathscented
↓
5a48495c-38c6-4724-8025-b121ec014684.gif
Lamb chop! Put your sweater on!
choplamblamb-chopsweater
↓
0e8f2dba-a6a1-4012-976c-ea93f54e6011.gif
Dad...
↓
13ba0252-3f73-4107-880d-42705e95ee0e.gif
I...
↓
e450733a-4a11-47e7-838a-8a0e519cb750.gif
Stevie, how co--?
stevie
↓
9cb561bb-69cb-4096-a94e-f229ce2e03c2.gif
It's not...
↓
92a29c51-7119-4ab8-828c-aff5ef31b30d.gif
what it looks like.
↓
2fd21866-7c22-4b1a-8975-b90ba02ddbc3.gif
Well, it looks...
↓
0e730191-49cf-4bcb-b0e5-5a411465e321.gif
like she was on your lap!
↓
3fef8759-dfe6-431b-a873-20ee311f8e32.gif
Oh, my God, his head exploded!
explodedhead
↓
44c7a33d-cd72-4051-9702-d50858812d35.gif
Abe, are you okay?
↓
640e294e-df5c-4758-bbee-e1b4da865858.gif
I think so.
↓
3dc42274-ef53-41b6-967b-f980d7e0b846.gif
Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. Is every one okay?
↓
1fdf82cf-c665-4223-91a4-3cdabe47dd05.gif
I mean, what was that?
↓
d467e9c4-20a2-48d4-bec9-bdf05a6e5dbc.gif
Face it, Dad, you are a crappy father.
crappyfacefather
↓
6a880551-690d-4c4e-8ace-94338cfe0dda.gif
All you ever cared about was women, drinking, and stealing.
careddrinkingstealingwomen
↓
60965622-199e-4579-a1c2-23143c4cd6e4.gif
You know what? I can't talk about this anymore.
anymore
↓
bb72acb4-ef60-4101-9cad-f3c4100b0b61.gif
How many times do I have to say it?
times
↓
e8b5ab48-5998-4799-add7-7535e2ef6479.gif
- I need money. - Guess who's home?
homemoney
↓
27ddcf65-890d-4028-a9da-2922fac2808d.gif
- What are you doing here? - I got off early.
early
↓
f34befe6-d02a-4e9e-96b9-7312c313992b.gif
- Hello, I'm Francis, Piama's husband. - You're married?
francishusbandmarried
↓
9b2db3d8-c97f-4040-92e7-60c2a91347ed.gif
Hmm.
↓
16cae7d0-63d7-4992-a2bb-cc58e7d7d877.gif
Didn't think that was worth mentioning?
worth
↓
0777f4e0-2751-464b-801d-0ece80a6e29c.gif
Very cozy.
cozy
↓
b4ef4dd7-23ef-4433-b0ca-af8202fa5734.gif
Francis, I told you...
francis
↓
cbab13f9-f1f3-4a5f-82d1-58539f6cf49b.gif
Hey, I had a life before I met you.
life
↓
fdaebd4f-4419-48ff-92df-a1d95324e8bc.gif
Maybe I haven't been fair to you.
fair
↓
ef01d517-3253-40c1-8a7b-8e2b9b189c6a.gif
I mean, our relationship wasn't all bad.
relationship
↓
1c166508-14a4-4504-a089-5097f2e50b98.gif
- Remember all the tickle fights? - Yeah, those were wild.
fightsrememberticklewild
↓
a00f55eb-961b-4e65-8b17-76a387561114.gif
I remember this one time we were taking a bath together,
bathremember
↓
c8d82201-6283-45cd-91c3-a12660f28a88.gif
- and she started squirming-- - Ah! No, I don't wanna hear this!
started
↓
fabfcc4b-d99f-466e-a500-018c82b3619c.gif
Aw, come on, it's a funny story, Francis. And he loves telling it, don't you, Dad?
francisfunnyfunny-storylovesstorytelling
↓
fb34387e-1dc4-4c13-8967-bafbd4fbd0d7.gif
- Dad? - Yup.
↓
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I just...
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I'm so sorry. I just...
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I mean, it's a real pleasure to meet you, sir.
meetpleasurerealreal-pleasure
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- Do you have any money? - No.
money
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Well, tonight's been a big ball of nothing.
balltonights
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I'm gonna go finish off my shift.
finishshift
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Love you, honey!
honeylove
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You are never seeing that girl again.
girlseeing
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And you sure as hell are never seeing that boy again.
seeing
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You know what? You are not seeing daylight for the next six months.
daylightmonthsseeing
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Just tell me what happened.
happened
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We...
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were playing...
playing
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- cards. - Okay.
cards
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Let's start with you.
start
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Well...
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it's like...
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this.
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So, let me see. You found a gun, didn't tell your father.
fatherfound
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Handled it, hid it inside the house.
handledhouse
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Handled it again to move it and tried to destroy it with a hacksaw.
destroyhandledtried
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And at no point did you contact the police until after the gun went off.
contactpointpolice
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Yes.
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What did you say your IQ was?
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- Man, what a night. - Yeah.
night
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When that thing went off, I couldn't believe how scared I was.
believescared
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- You were scared? - I was way more scared than you guys.
scared
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Are you kidding me? I screamed like a little girl.
girlkiddingscreamed
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Please. I could have broke glass the way I screamed.
brokeglassscreamed
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You sounded like a hero compared to how I...
comparedherosounded
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- Straight up, I screamed. - Oh, I screamed, now, I screamed...
screamedstraight