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Home » Malcolm in the Middle » S02E20 — Bowling

Malcolm in the Middle

Season 2, Episode 20 — Bowling

TMDB episode metadata
Show: Malcolm in the Middle
Episode title: Bowling
Air date: April 01, 2001
Director: Todd Holland
Top billed cast: Frankie Muniz, Jane Kaczmarek, Bryan Cranston, Justin Berfield, Erik Per Sullivan, Christopher Masterson
Malcolm and Reese go to a bowling party where they vie for the attention of a cute girl.
Source: TMDB
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- This sucks. - I know.
sucks
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I wish we were old enough to drive. Then we'd never be bored.
boreddrivewish
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I wish I could get out on my own
wish
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and make a bunch of money and start the party.
bunchmoneypartystart
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I wish I was a bird.
birdwish
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♪ Yes, no, maybe ♪
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♪ I don't know ♪
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♪ Can you repeat the question? ♪
questionrepeat
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♪ Life is unfair ♪
lifeunfair
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Why can't I go bowling, too?
bowling
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Because you're spending the night in your room. You are being punished.
nightpunishedroomspending
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And tomorrow you are going to the store and buying Mrs. McNabb a new parakeet!
buyingmcnabbparakeetstoretomorrow
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- Aw. Dad? - Don't look at me.
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Your mom and I are a united front.
frontunited
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We're ready. Who's going to drive us?
driveready
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- I'll do it. - I'll do it.
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You, to your room. March!
marchroom
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Come on, son. Race you to your room.
raceroom
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Oh, boys, you are going to have so much fun.
boysfun
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checking out the old hinder.
checking
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This is good, Mom. You can drop us off here.
drop
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You don't need to come in. We can walk.
walk
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Oh, I understand.
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You're at that age where I'm an embarrassment to you.
embarrassment
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Hi. I need two pair of shoes, size seven and size nine.
ninepairsevenshoessize
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Coming up.
coming
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Where did all my money go? I've only got six dollars?
dollarsmoney
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Uh, just give me one pair, size eight.
eightpairsize
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You boys can share.
boysshare
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But Reese isn't wearing any socks.
reesesockswearing
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I'm not sticking my socks in those nasty shoes.
nastyshoessockssticking
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Ah!
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See? Told you we'd find it.
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Now let's just get you set up with some shoes.
shoes
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Oh, pricey.
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Good thing I stole some cash from your mom's wallet this morning.
cashmomsmorningstolewallet
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Go to sleep.
sleep
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- I don't want to hear another peep. - It's not fair.
anotherfairpeep
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I don't want to go to sleep early.
earlysleep
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Fine. Feel free to lie awake all night.
awakefreenight
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Okay, go to sleep. I don't want to hear a peep out of you.
peepsleep
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It's not fair. I don't want to go to sleep early.
earlyfairsleep
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We're not debating this. I'm serious, Dewey. I don't want any trouble with you.
debatingdeweyserioustrouble
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That means no pleading, no whining, no crying.
cryingpleadingwhining
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You do understand why we're doing this, don't you, son?
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Hey, check it out. Beth Ballard's here.
bethcheck
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Yeah. I hear she's why Mr. Thomas got fired.
firedthomas
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You can go now. Thanks for the ride.
ridethanks
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Where are the parents? Are there no parents here?
parents
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Mom, please don't--
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Where are your parents? Who's chaperoning this?
parents
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- Mom, we don't need a chaperone. - Okay, it's me.
chaperone
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We got two lanes here, let's use them!
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You, you, you, you and you, you'll use that lane.
lane
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- You five, use this one. - Mom, please don't do this.
five
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Are you kidding? You guys are bowling.
bowlingkidding
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You could cut the hormones around here with a knife.
hormonesknife
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What kind of parent would leave these kids alone with themselves?
alonekidsparent
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Okay, I'll see you in a couple hours.
couplecouple-hourshours
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Hey, there's Beth Ballard. Did you see that? She smiled at me.
bethsmiled
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Hate to break it to you, but she was smiling at me.
breakhatesmiling
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Okay, fine.
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- Let's both go talk to her and find out. - Sounds fair.
fairsoundssounds-fair
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- Hey, Beth. - Hi, Reese.
bethreese
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- Having fun? - I guess.
funhaving
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I'm kind of surprised to see you here.
surprised
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You're too cool to have to go to a bowling party.
bowlingcoolparty
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Well, I could say the same thing about you.
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Hey, I've got a great joke.
joke
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How would you like to take a walk on the beach,
beachwalk
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feel the salt spray in your face and the wind in your hair?
facehairsaltspraywind
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Sure. I guess.
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Looks like you already have!
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What's the matter with you? You spit on me, you pig!
matterspit
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What? Don't you get it?
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Yeah, just one game.
game
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Can you put me down at the end?
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My kids are here with their friends, and some are girls.
friendsgirlskids
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I don't want to cramp their style.
crampstyle
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That's just not me.
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And another thing, the next person who swears
anotherperson
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is getting their parents called. You can count on it.
calledcountparents
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I want to see a little daylight between you two.
daylight
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Let's go. You can do it. You're not gonna throw another gutter ball.
anotherballguttergutter-ballthrow
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- Mom, just let me bowl. - Okay, okay.
bowl
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That's a good effort, Malcolm.
effortmalcolm
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Yes!
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- Nice roll. - Thanks.
rollthanks
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And you're pretty good, too.
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I've got a joke for you.
joke
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Would you like to take a walk on the beach--
beachwalk
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Reese! You're up!
reese
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- Hello. - Hey, Dad. I need a favor.
favor
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Let's hear it.
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Well, some of the other cadets are going in together on an old car,
cadets
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and if I put in $100, I get the car every seventh weekend.
seventhweekend
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I could take road trips and go on dates.
datesroadtrips
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I could drive underprivileged children to cultural stuff.
childrenculturaldrivestuffunderprivileged
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Oh, come on, Francis. That's ridiculous.
francisridiculous
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I'm not giving you the money to buy one-seventh of a piece of junk.
givingjunkmoneypieceseventh
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Okay. Just thought I'd ask. Later, Dad.
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Bye.
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Hey, Mom, I need a favor.
favor
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Sure. Let's hear it.
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Well, some of the other cadets are going in together on an old car
cadets
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and if I put in 100 bucks I get the car every seventh weekend.
bucksseventhweekend
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- Get back in there! - I could go on dates.
dates
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I could drive underprivileged children to cultural stuff.
childrenculturaldrivestuffunderprivileged
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Oh, honey, I'm sorry. I really don't think we can afford this.
affordhoney
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Of course. I knew you'd say that.
course
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Why do I even try?
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Now you can go to bed happy, knowing that you kept my life a living hell!
happyknowinglifeliving
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Maybe the lane is warped.
lanewarped
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Mom, please.
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You're not that bad of a bowler, Malcolm. I know you're not.
bowlermalcolm
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- What are you doing? - Try this one. It's a lighter ball.
balllighter
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- Mom, this is a little kid's ball. - Just do it. Try it.
ballkids
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Pick a lane!
lanepick
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Your brother's not very good. Maybe you should help him.
brothers
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Nah. I couldn't do that in front of everybody.
everybodyfront
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I'm kind of his hero. It would just embarrass him.
embarrasshero
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That's sweet.
sweet
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- You know, you never told me that joke. - Oh, right.
joke
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Would you like to take a walk on the beach, feel the salt spray--
beachsaltspraywalk
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Reese, you're up!
reese
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Ah!
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Yeah!
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Pop them and drop them.
drop
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I'm not buying it.
buying
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- What's wrong, son? - Nothing.
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- Hey, you want me to read you a story? - No.
readstory
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Oh, come on. Hey, I'll read you "Wilbur the Worried Worm."
readwormworried
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You love that. Let's see, where...
love
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Hey, here it is.
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How about that?
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Okay.
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"There once was a worried little worm named Wilbur."
namedwormworried
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Oh, perfect.
perfect
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"Wilbur lived in a magic garden filled with beautiful flowers."
filledflowersgardenlivedmagic
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"One day..."
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Man, six strikes.
strikes
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You're on your way to a perfect--
perfect
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- Hey. - Oh, hi.
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Sorry about my brother. We try to limit his contact with humans.
brothercontacthumanslimit
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Don't worry. You still look great.
worry
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- You're not very much like him, are you? - No.
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You're so cute.
cute
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- I hate bowling. - I love bowling.
bowlinghatelove
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Medium with thick crust,
crustmediumthick
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mushroom, pepperoni and extra cheese, please.
cheeseextramushroompepperoni
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Gesundheit.
gesundheit
↓
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I am the mayor of Strike Town. Yeah!
mayorstriketown
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- Are you deaf? - What?
deaf
↓
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I guess that's a yes to the "do you like my lip gloss?" question.
glossquestion
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Yeah. Yes.
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I mean, why wouldn't I say yes to anything you ask?
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Hey, not bad. You're a pretty smooth talker.
smoothtalker
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What else are you good at?
↓
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A lot of things.
↓
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So, how about you pick one thing?
pick
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Maybe I will.
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Maybe I'd like that.
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Maybe you would.
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My roll.
roll
↓
4d4e20a1-1cec-4c58-b5ae-61a6b6956fa5.gif
Maybe it is.
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1c541208-b10b-4bf4-adaf-d21825152392.gif
I just can't seem to stop talking like this.
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db819fd8-e9dc-4427-8f93-da61e6fc5144.gif
Stop talking like that, Malcolm.
malcolm
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3a9a086d-82fc-4c06-8259-2c850472814a.gif
You can do this. Now, just remember, bend your knee on the follow-through.
bendfollowkneeremember
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e768566e-17a1-484a-9e8d-486f8cc6308a.gif
And remember to keep your elbow in.
elbowremember
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b3a0bffa-34eb-4cf8-84ff-a2d846ca321e.gif
- Why don't you just kill me? - I'm trying to help.
kill
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aec8d5bc-c9bb-4f70-98b5-c45552f7c696.gif
- Can't I at least use a boy's ball? - No. You've knocked over five pins
ballboysfiveknockedleastpins
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9af1a611-dcc8-4186-ba38-df9be7c62030.gif
since you switched to that ball.
ballswitched
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283ca4d5-654f-45fb-ace9-ce8ee3fe78a0.gif
Aw.
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132c7e6c-0317-4ce4-b19a-e2442df0cbab.gif
You must really want out of this room to draw such a manipulative picture.
drawmustpictureroom
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177b554e-4f92-44ff-bbbe-c5863bba39c4.gif
Mm-hm.
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7d68c4c6-7c1f-4bbc-ae17-ef89d0be5965.gif
Go to sleep, sweetie.
sleepsweetie
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ac0b1b89-9254-4d7e-bc1a-cce87e79db4b.gif
That's $11.50.
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bd28a7ea-caa0-43db-8ed2-c0732e710838.gif
I gave all my cash to the video guy.
cashvideo
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5d163f8f-0a8b-4470-848e-2be52c319db3.gif
- Do you take credit cards? - Yeah.
cardscreditcredit-cards
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3133abf6-ff03-4d7d-ae22-6e84f9a6f664.gif
Is one enough?
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84c72bb6-d0c0-42b6-8c14-46687ad6f258.gif
Better make that two.
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Thank you.
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340bb1b7-62ac-4507-961d-ff24b7e8bbd7.gif
Gesundheit.
gesundheit
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9d515583-2ab4-4396-8210-b5f7de482398.gif
Oh, oh, wait. Where are you going?
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89c43196-9672-4097-9a6f-994dc85b0107.gif
- I have to use the restroom. - No, no, no. Nobody leaves.
leavesnobodyrestroom
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b77e4379-d4db-42b8-a472-9c8235b9ef72.gif
- But I-- - No, no, no, please,
↓
51a63c87-4e07-4e4a-ada5-53abe0ec72a6.gif
everything's got to stay the same. I need you here.
everythings
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21e0ae57-ae37-4dd4-ba0d-49d3c1a61ae3.gif
I've never-- I've never been this close before.
close
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615e8948-3f83-4487-9ee9-3056dc4124eb.gif
You are a part of this. You're all a part of this.
part
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1ef0b944-efc0-4a42-a61d-2818d1476860.gif
Each a thread in a fabric of the perfect game.
fabricgameperfectperfect-gamethread
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cb83156e-8e4e-4b8d-af30-370567f6a30e.gif
Oh, sure, it'll be my name up there on that plaque by the men's room door,
dooritllmensmens-roomnameplaqueroom
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ffb31cc2-369d-4fcd-82e8-14ebe57fc2a8.gif
but each of you know in your heart that you had a vital role
heartrolevital
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bd173347-f32f-4687-9ed3-f38f44edf248.gif
- in my success... - Okay, okay. Okay!
success
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c6a783d8-5d04-4ace-bd88-a445f1e9a80a.gif
- Just go quick. - Okay, thank you. Thank you.
quick
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9ce2cb8b-8852-4240-8ca9-6ef86bb44416.gif
Gesundheit.
gesundheit
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13147e3e-99b7-41ac-a204-4751b908daec.gif
Two to go.
↓
10b7250f-347b-4b00-b221-219444cf1108.gif
What's their problem?
problem
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c2f31bf8-13e2-48b3-9aba-ba8b93da59ef.gif
Yeah. It's just bowling. Relax.
bowlingrelax
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02227171-b815-47e4-acc4-52d308de46fe.gif
I wish we could be alone somewhere.
alonewish
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4a9c0f6a-aa05-438e-a0bb-7ee4bc95c3e4.gif
Like outside?
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2634a52b-8f13-4bdd-a2f5-da43862e6ebc.gif
No. There's security cameras out there. Trust me.
camerassecuritysecurity-camerastrust
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7be533a1-9c39-4515-bc32-1bbc697295aa.gif
You see, Malcolm? Isn't it great
malcolm
↓
e973cd3d-1665-49aa-b916-d7486276f7f2.gif
when you don't have to worry about the gutters?
guttersworry
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c4f77550-8cb9-48aa-8dd3-f1b61052112f.gif
You can just bowl and have fun.
bowlfun
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6f6f887c-cf6a-401b-b650-748567a49667.gif
- I wish we could be alone somewhere. - Me too.
alonewish
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aed5c2ea-dd4c-4ddc-8c4c-c5e7a0827eac.gif
Wait, I still have to tell you that joke.
joke
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ee500875-6bf7-479e-95d3-4990da6f7324.gif
Would you like to take a walk on the beach, feel the salt--
beachsaltwalk
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ca671534-c8a2-49d2-b6a7-d360084fdb2f.gif
You know what? That's not a good joke.
joke
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563de834-e3b0-4249-9155-7ed2163d2db3.gif
Mom, I don't want to do this.
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f93a46ac-4505-43d0-9679-6ba816af2fb3.gif
Malcolm, I didn't raise you to stop trying when something is hard.
hardmalcolmraise
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4ba05a19-495d-4997-a948-e3d6a43cd23c.gif
You can do this. You just concentrate on those pins.
concentratepins
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cdfe048e-8938-4f30-a4da-71d98e96cc18.gif
You throw the ball.
ballthrow
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fa2ee069-f4e5-41bf-9d0a-1e7b8a55d23f.gif
You are not giving up until you bowl a strike.
bowlgivingstrike
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912ee557-0341-40a4-b834-f652dc03d5e2.gif
Your mother's right, Connie.
conniemothers
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cbbb72c4-44c3-461b-ba6f-5fb3880b35e9.gif
My name's not Connie!
connienames
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cc88a85e-3b65-42ba-8783-9cf7560f05ef.gif
Okay, Mom, you want to see a strike?
strike
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bc9ff50b-70a0-4824-82e4-5e15cdfb163d.gif
Malcolm, what are you doing?
malcolm
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d0fbbe60-b1d7-4caa-97e4-f4d69030504f.gif
Look at me! I'm the world's greatest bowler!
bowlergreatestworldsworlds-greatest
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74f226a8-fb0a-4e97-9de3-21692d42b9ba.gif
I care so much about bowling! Bowling is so important!
bowlingcare
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b766a097-482d-4927-b590-0331a64b5e7f.gif
Malcolm, come back here!
malcolm
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71ffcb39-5550-4853-8dd0-dcdc660f7317.gif
You want a strike? I'll give you a strike!
strike
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17539804-50ec-49cc-8f3f-b849de9805a1.gif
Here's your damn strike!
strike
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cdb79218-2173-4629-a70c-d7c260e1199d.gif
Way to go, Connie!
connie
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739729bd-4e55-4b74-a243-e7b3beee45e4.gif
Listen, maybe you shouldn't--
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4009d81f-bb32-4235-8134-ec95a2a3467b.gif
Connie, Connie.
connieconnie-connie
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0d50ae83-bf78-42b6-ab47-8bfb35fcdce2.gif
Connie, Connie, Connie.
connieconnie-connie
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f2a7ff02-4b4a-49cf-90ef-58a37547fecf.gif
Connie, Connie, Connie.
connieconnie-connie
↓
729e357a-32cb-4498-bda3-51411c528a76.gif
Oh, man, that was classic.
classic
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3df2cc1e-d581-4e13-bf94-4790b1bd6990.gif
- Okay, let's go make out. - I don't think so.
↓
4d6b8718-8e98-4ed0-bce6-0ce2e46fe54f.gif
Connie, Connie, Connie.
connieconnie-connie
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1a316cf0-d336-4ea4-93ce-a8a52fac16b9.gif
Connie, Connie...
connieconnie-connie
↓
75079379-63ec-488a-be1c-58f776661e63.gif
Okay, I think bowling's over.
↓
8d64a718-f199-46e3-aef4-46fa8cab3ec3.gif
Get your jackets. I'm taking everyone home.
homejackets
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0a7a8c6a-735a-4a9f-9600-75d7b9317bc0.gif
Turn in the shoes.
shoes
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fa00e682-3158-4a43-9d2c-2984365e6355.gif
I'll meet you out front.
frontmeet
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d3b7888f-e695-48e3-9737-2c7de1af6ab8.gif
- See? Nobody's here. - Yeah.
nobodys
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f57f9963-c917-4756-93e6-b85180b7b5df.gif
You know, I think you're really cute.
cute
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d6c53884-115d-4a03-b305-9a6168207707.gif
Thanks. You're cute, too.
cutethanks
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edd5fdce-d570-4a1a-865b-bfbc1e6aea43.gif
Only one more.
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a8047280-f6a2-4592-bcc0-0aacdb3bb544.gif
Okay, I'm going for it.
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9179994f-a4a5-4a7b-82bf-9beb8a8b2252.gif
I'm totally going to kiss her.
kiss
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d4bfa988-6516-423b-9872-f7c7aa76fedd.gif
Gesundheit.
gesundheit
↓
b8370c54-538e-49f5-bc9c-74ce1817eb48.gif
That counts, right?
counts
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3e3ec632-409d-4513-ad84-d613f7aeb787.gif
Three hundred. It has to count.
counthundredthreethree-hundred
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554029bb-f467-4b9c-a6bd-f03e1b71c80a.gif
3-0-0.
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3e3017ab-35a7-48a5-bfaf-c6a994356efd.gif
3-0-0.
↓
4610a3c3-41ee-49df-916b-e68517715563.gif
3-0... oh!
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c693980e-6891-4510-a08e-960ae2635c8c.gif
What's going on?
↓
8ae339c7-680b-434e-822a-12877419a324.gif
I haven't heard a peep out of you in over an hour.
heardhourpeep
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682c1c7a-2dcf-4490-b3f7-4fcd6fb23127.gif
I'm kind of tired.
tired
↓
ebd6ef4f-ac17-4fa9-a4e5-5740516a6667.gif
But you haven't tried your fake running away or your sleepwalking yet.
fakerunningsleepwalkingtried
↓
5b35d63e-5670-4a16-a228-83494b557cd6.gif
It's not like you to give up so easily.
easily
↓
45c7c73a-4e65-4c03-91ed-b2dde5456fcf.gif
Maybe you've finally learned that all those silly little games you play
finallygameslearnedsilly
↓
4e96460f-5f71-48c2-8ff5-7b34dd6c8e54.gif
- aren't going to get you anywhere. - I guess.
↓
93891d10-b723-46b6-a454-7c8d1d7074fb.gif
When you're punished in this house you're going to serve your time.
housepunishedserve
↓
1b815d48-87ee-48fb-a828-50ad7509a403.gif
There's no getting around it.
↓
00846a53-6010-43f0-827c-0953b4ad6ca9.gif
I suppose you've suffered enough.
sufferedsuppose
↓
6013ef45-5564-4f83-8753-ac400834d210.gif
I guess there's no harm in 20 minutes of TV.
harmminutes
↓
d6c72252-9b44-4039-8d12-08f31f9b6546.gif
- Okay. - Wait a minute.
minute
↓
40a5511f-7dfb-4c34-8306-8ff7f4bbf809.gif
Unless this is a new ploy.
↓
445a4670-72a5-4f8a-93b9-0ddabe7db65e.gif
- You get right back into bed, mister. - Okay.
mister
↓
b1642fab-b0bd-4662-8a92-210c8edd6f90.gif
No, no, hold on. I'm-- I'm being ridiculous.
ridiculous
↓
71cec0b9-7bd1-47ae-b567-6024b46d6e30.gif
Go, watch TV.
watch
↓
48464b7c-ef49-425e-829b-a85034dcdb69.gif
Wait, not so fast.
fast
↓
c366e93a-54e0-4c6a-a6ab-5e1428f9b021.gif
I'm not falling for it.
falling
↓
6a4d6c0a-9b9c-47f4-890c-568047de520f.gif
Ah. I'm being ridiculous.
ridiculous
↓
1e7c82f5-5b8f-4dfc-b49f-e0bbce01d3c6.gif
But you are not getting away with it. Go, watch TV.
watch
↓
8fe4d890-8332-4381-8ffa-3a76302b7ccc.gif
No, stop, stop. Stay right where you are.
↓
03619611-582b-48c6-aa4b-818e13e330e4.gif
Okay. Okay, I tell you what we're going to do.
↓
dea7d6c2-db24-4b37-81e3-c7e1b847b1f5.gif
You are going to watch television.
televisionwatch
↓
aa2ea386-5f0f-4db6-a058-6ef0c4de5709.gif
But it's going to be something you're not going to enjoy.
enjoy
↓
8c098306-7813-4bb2-b26e-d695bfc85289.gif
C-SPAN. That ought to do it.
ought
↓
1fa515ab-eb3d-47a8-b3e2-bd2658dfc8f9.gif
Okay, who just won?
↓
bc5026e2-0560-4204-8607-d64c15b972c6.gif
I'm not sure.
↓
3efa69aa-985d-4ab3-9d7e-1e361db09d9c.gif
Hey, Mom, I've got to tell you,
↓
ec85192e-f91b-4607-8f04-26abd44e9499.gif
I wasn't on board at first with you staying,
boardstaying
↓
caeb84ad-6678-49e2-bbc3-5b4593f21041.gif
but tonight was... well, it was magic.
magictonight
↓
cc7a3caa-dad7-4941-8e80-ff57ccecab0d.gif
- Hi. - What? You want to make fun of me, too?
fun
↓
da7f156b-30c1-4b28-a619-7458c54005cf.gif
No.
↓
3cdf25e7-105c-4986-afb2-3112db860b6e.gif
I wanted to tell you that it was brave of you
bravewanted
↓
ec65762e-4b1c-4e6b-a8ca-614a7f7561af.gif
to stand up to your mom like that.
stand
↓
6ea2acdb-9eac-42bc-83fa-35c62dff7f2f.gif
And I also thought it was hilarious the way you didn't hit a single pin
hilarioussingle
↓
40542f5d-8c7d-4aad-9a73-84d4f1dd36a1.gif
when you were, like, what, an inch away?
inch
↓
23ab421c-ef1d-42ab-b3bc-dbb784b87c73.gif
- Is there a point to all this? - No.
point
↓
2d3b15d3-2ee1-47e2-a57a-0d3c49eb06ee.gif
Do you want to kiss me?
kiss
↓
782a3539-33b3-4862-9f15-9aba8e5bd50a.gif
Why do you think you can come over here and make fun of me and--?
fun
↓
3f9bbb27-242e-472f-942f-625a76cd49d1.gif
Okay, that's it. Oh, for God's sake, you are worse than your father.
fathergodsgods-sakesakeworse
↓
36ffd478-18bc-4334-97c5-2ce6df687d0b.gif
You two are sitting on opposite sides of the car.
oppositesidessitting
↓
7fe9c1f8-7cd3-4d58-a835-4499d348e601.gif
Okay, fine, don't count it.
count
↓
ac5a8f18-770b-4526-b675-ff3c57a1f3f2.gif
But you and I both know that was a perfect game.
gameperfectperfect-game
↓
f9f33ab3-5645-440b-bba0-66362356284f.gif
Reese, get out of the photo booth!
boothphotoreese
↓
e49177d9-78ac-4f6b-a734-8a4efef141fa.gif
So, how'd it go?
howd
↓
27d0a52c-3e8b-4a4a-8cfc-d62d2bf1719c.gif
- Next time, you take them. - Next time, you take them.