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Home » Malcolm in the Middle » S02E19 — Tutoring Reese

Malcolm in the Middle

Season 2, Episode 19 — Tutoring Reese

TMDB episode metadata
Show: Malcolm in the Middle
Episode title: Tutoring Reese
Air date: March 11, 2001
Director: Ken Kwapis
Top billed cast: Frankie Muniz, Jane Kaczmarek, Bryan Cranston, Justin Berfield, Erik Per Sullivan, Christopher Masterson
Malcolm and the Krelboynes tutor Reese, and uncover the real reason behind his failing grades.
Source: TMDB
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Hal?
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Are you smoking again?
smoking
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No! I am cleaning.
cleaning
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- Do you smell smoke? - No, but I--
smellsmoke
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No, Lois, if I wanted to smoke a cigar,
cigarloissmokewanted
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I wouldn't be sneaking around like a scared little schoolboy.
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I would do it out in the open like a man.
open
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That was our third shop vac. That is our last shop vac.
shopthird
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♪ Yes, no, maybe ♪
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♪ I don't know ♪
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♪ Can you repeat the question? ♪
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♪ Life is unfair ♪
lifeunfair
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Francis, I don't wanna hear another argument about it.
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You are going to fix the roof.
roof
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That is totally unfair!
unfair
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I come home from school and you immediately put me to work.
homeimmediatelyschool
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He is not terrified!
terrified
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You are going to do this.
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Why don't you just put a choke chain around my neck
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and make me sleep in the garage?
garagesleep
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This is what we call a "level four" rage.
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The only way not to get nailed is to make no sudden moves
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and avoid eye contact at all costs.
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And you, you think just because you hide the note,
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the parent-teacher meeting will just go away?
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Mom, Mr. Woodward is totally out to get me.
woodward
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Every teacher has been out to get you.
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I know. It upsets me, too.
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Why is the drain still clogged?
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Uh...
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Uh, honey, there was a, you know...
honey
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I was only seconds away from-- It's a funny thing, see--
funnyseconds
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Oh, what a mess! Look at that!
mess
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That is a milk ring on the table.
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focus is diffuse.
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His initiative is waning,
initiative
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and it's preventing his full potentiation.
full
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That would help us here.
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and I'm going to recommend that he be moved into the remedial class.
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- And that's a euphemism for... - The remedial class.
classremedial
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- I hope it's that simple. - Reese will get back on track.
hopereesesimpletrack
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- We'll see to it if it kills him. - I'm glad to see your level of commitment.
commitmentgladkillslevel
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I'm really happy we had this chance to talk.
chancehappy
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So we can go now.
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I don't want to hear any excuses.
excuses
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You will sit down every night and work until those grades are up.
gradesnight
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Why do I have to tutor him?
tutor
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Because God gave you a giant brain. Blame him.
blamebraingiant
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Reese screws up, and I get punished for it? Where's the logic in that?
logicpunishedreesescrews
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Malcolm, I have zero tolerance on this one.
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Finally, Mom found the courage to speak her mind.
couragefinallyfoundmindspeak
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- Why aren't you fixing that roof? - It's 40 degrees out there. I'll freeze.
degreesfixingfreezeroof
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- And it's going to rain. - That's why you have to fix the roof.
rainroof
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Maybe if you didn't buy such crappy shingles,
crappy
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it wouldn't leak all the time.
leak
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Francis, as long as you are in this house, you will do as I say.
francishouse
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You know what, Mom? No.
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I'm too old to be bullied by you.
bullied
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Our whole lives, you have done nothing but dictate what you wanted.
dictateliveswantedwholewhole-lives
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You're the boss of the world, and we're all sick of it.
bosssickworld
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This may be your roof, but we live here, too.
liveroof
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We are human beings
beingshumanhuman-beings
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with rights and I'm hereby putting an end to your reign of terror.
herebyputtingreignrightsterror
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You have seen the look on her face. It was totally worth it.
faceseenworth
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Sounds like you've had it rough.
roughsounds
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Oh, man, you have no idea.
idea
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Thanks.
thanks
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I've got a place near the bus station.
nearplacestation
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It's warm and fairly dry.
fairlywarm
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You can stay there for a while. If you want to.
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- You'd do that for me? - It's a tough world.
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We've got to look out for each other.
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Thanks.
thanks
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- Richie! - Dude!
richie
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I heard your mom kicked you out. You want to stay at my place?
heardkickedplace
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- You are a lifesaver! - Could you give me a lift to--
lift
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Sorry, man. We're going the other way.
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Hi. Why aren't you flying?
flying
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My name is Dewey.
deweyname
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Good to meet you, Tony. Want to play?
meettony
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Okay, but I get to be the red team.
team
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I don't like this any better than you do. Let's just get it over with.
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Dude, this book's totally wrecked.
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- What did you do to it? - I threw it at a duck.
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- Well, where's your math book? - Which half?
bookhalfmath
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We'll just start with geography.
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- I don't take geography! - Yes, you do.
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You got a grade in it.
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Oh, that can't be good.
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Mi casa es su casa.
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This may be my parents' house, but, dude, down here, anything goes.
houseparents
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Oh, what is that smell?
smell
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It could be the laundry. It could be the mildew.
laundry
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It could be that rat I shot.
shot
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I think I wounded it.
wounded
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It probably crawled into a hole to die or something.
crawledhole
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- What's this? - It's your bed. You got to blow it up.
blow
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Welcome to Chez Richie.
richiewelcome
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Rule number one, there are no rules.
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Rule number two, no shoes on the sofa.
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It is so real.
real
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Come on. What's the answer? You can do this.
answer
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We've gone over this a thousand times.
gonethousandthousand-timestimes
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You have to carry the tenths. Tenths have to go someplace.
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Tenths don't just float around.
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Get smarter already!
smarter
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Think. Make your brain work.
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I could be outside doing anything other than this.
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But, no. I'm stuck in here babysitting this--
babysittingstuck
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4.2.
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That's right.
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I mean, I actually understand this.
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The tenths have to go someplace.
someplace
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Great. Let's move on to the next one.
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Hal! Come down from there!
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Hi, honey.
honey
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- What do you think you're doing? - Oh, just fixing the shingles.
fixing
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Francis has responsibilities.
francisresponsibilities
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- You can't keep covering for him. - This is not about him. It's about me.
covering
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I just wanted to get some fresh air and...
freshwanted
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the view from up here is incredible.
incredibleview
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Did you-- Did you ever think that I might be enjoying myself?
enjoyingmight
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I spent two days on it.
daysspent
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There was even a paragraph that really sucked
sucked
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so I went back and rewrote it.
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Malcolm, I'd never done that before, but last night, I mean, look at me.
malcolmnight
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I'm going on and on while you're sitting here trying to read.
readsitting
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How's the grammar? Never mind.
grammarmind
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Reese.
reese
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This is C-minus work.
minus
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- All right! You're not just saying that? - Nice job!
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No. This is seriously the best work I've ever seen you do.
bestseen
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That's great! I couldn't have done it without you! Thanks, Malcolm.
malcolmthanks
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Ew!
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I kicked your ass!
kicked
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You got another F?
another
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- Mom, I read that paper. It's not an F! - Then what is this?
paperread
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- We've been studying four hours a night. - Well, guess what. It's not enough.
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You're going to study eight hours a night to get your grades up.
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- That's what you're gonna do. - Mom--
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I don't see a mother here.
mother
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All I see is a warden with two prisoners who are out of their cell.
cellprisonerswarden
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Not like this.
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I'm okay! I'm okay!
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You know what? It's freezing, but I don't need heat
freezingheat
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because I got justice on my side.
justiceside
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Mom will cave.
cave
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She'll cave. It's going to be so sweet.
caveshellsweet
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Could you do that in the bathroom, Richie?
bathroomrichie
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Dude, no one's going in there for at least six hours.
hoursleastones
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Well, then, could you do it over a wastebasket or something?
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And can we cool it on the porno for, like, five minutes?
coolfivefive-minutesminutesporno
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Yeah. When this is over, I'll just pop in Sluts of the Big Ten.
sluts
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No. No more porn.
porn
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Dude, that's a documentary.
documentary
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Ow!
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God, my eye!
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Hey, try to find that toenail, Francis.
francis
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- It is so creepy to step on those things. - Ow!
creepystep
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Come on, Reese, the test is in two hours!
hoursreesetest
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This is too much, Malcolm. I'll never pass this thing.
malcolmpass
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There's 30 true-false questions and five essays. It's impossible.
essaysfalsefiveimpossiblequestions
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So, Reese, today's the big test?
reesetesttodays
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What do you have to get on this thing to say out of remedial class?
classremedial
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A "B."
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No, guys, he's serious.
serious
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But you're an idiot.
idiot
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You're right.
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Yeah. The only way this idiot is going to pass the test
idiotpasstest
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is if somebody else takes it for the idiot. Right, idiot?
idiotsomebodytakes
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Stevie set the precedent! You had a chance for rebuttal,
chancestevie
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but since you didn't answer, you waived your right! It's an agreed-upon term!
agreedanswerterm
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What am I going to do?
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I can't get put in the remedial class.
classremedial
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They walk to the cafeteria holding each other's belts.
beltscafeteriaholdingotherswalk
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Unless maybe Lloyd's right.
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Maybe someone should take the test for you.
test
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You mean cheat?
cheat
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We can't cheat. Mom will kill us.
cheatkill
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And it's wrong.
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But more importantly, Mom would kill us!
importantlykill
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Hey, we're out of options here, Reese.
optionsreese
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- You're going to get caught. - No, we're not. And you know why?
caught
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Because we have four brilliant minds here to help plan this out.
brilliantfourmindsplan
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You had to appeal to my vanity, didn't you?
appealvanity
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I'm in.
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I'm sorry, but I am honor-bound
boundhonor
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to report this conversation to the vice-principal.
conversationprincipalreportvicevice-principal
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Then we're honor-bound to report you still sleep with an Elmo blankie.
blankieboundelmohonorreportsleep
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Okay, I'm in.
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We, uh-- Here's the VCR you ordered.
ordered
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- I didn't order a VCR. - Yes, you did!
order
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Feel free to call and verify.
freeverify
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I know the extension number. There's someone there right now.
extensionnumber
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That won't be--
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Or you can take a look at this A/V equipment schedule.
equipmentschedule
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Your name and class hour's right here on page seven in nonstudent handwriting.
classhandwritinghoursnamepageseven
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All right. Go ahead and leave it.
aheadgo-ahead
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Okay.
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No, no, you said you didn't order a cart so you're not going to get one.
cartorder
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We'll just be leaving and pushing this out the door.
doorleavingpushing
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Ah! Here it is!
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- Hey, watch out! - Be the cannonball.
cannonballwatch
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- Are you all right? - Way to go, hot rod!
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Okay, well, there's the rat.
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No, Tony, that's not fair.
fairtony
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Today it's my cartoons before school and your cartoons after school.
cartoonsschooltoday
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Fine, Tony, be that way.
tony
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I don't want to be your friend, anyway.
friend
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Tony!
tony
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I can't stay mad at you either.
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Hey.
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Did you get that history test back?
historytest
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- Not yet. - No.
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You both better pray for a B.
pray
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- Hey, did Francis call you at work yet? - No, I haven't talked to him since he--
francistalked
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He thinks he's making some kind of point by cutting off all contact.
contactcuttingpointthinks
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You know, he should know.
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Till he's ready to apologize, there's really no reason to call.
apologizereadyreasontill
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I can't wait to see the look on his face when he realizes that we figured him out.
facefiguredrealizes
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Ah. What have we to figure out, dear?
dearfigure
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That I'm in it for the long haul.
haul
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He should know I am prepared to go the distance!
distanceprepared
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I think he likes tomatoes on his sandwich.
likessandwichtomatoes
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- Other bag, Hal. Bye. - Ah. Right. Bye.
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A masterful B, Malcolm. I could never dumb myself down like this.
dumbmalcolm
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I find this F very troubling.
troubling
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Something stinks.
stinks
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He knows we cheated!
cheatedknows
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We're going to have to start cutting separate deals.
cuttingdealsseparatestart
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He doesn't know anything, Dabney. I'm gonna go talk to him.
dabney
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Mr. Woodward? I'm Malcolm, I'm Reese's brother.
brothermalcolmreeseswoodward
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- Oh, hi, how are you? - Well, Reese is upset.
reeseupset
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He thinks he did better than an F on his history test.
historytestthinks
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I read it over, and I sort of thought it wasn't half bad.
halfread
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You think there's any way you could take another look?
another
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Malcolm, you should be commended for your fraternity,
fraternitymalcolm
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but the test deserved an F.
deservedtest
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Mr. Woodward, maybe if you just looked at it again--
lookedwoodward
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I can't spend a disproportionate amount of time on Reese.
amountreesespend
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- It's not fair to the other students. - But he didn't deserve an F on this.
deservefairstudents
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Look, Malcolm, I've been a teacher for a long time
malcolmteacher
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and I think I know what Reese is capable of.
capablereese
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I really don't think you do, because--
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Look, you may not want to hear this about your brother,
brother
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but I've known kids like Reese my whole life.
kidsknownlifereesewholewhole-life
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They're the ones who throw water at you so it looks like you wet your pants.
onespantsthrowwater
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They aim for your legs in dodgeball, and you fall down and you break your jaw
breakdodgeballfalllegs
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and you need to have your mouth wired shut and your teeth don't set properly.
mouthproperlyteethwired
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And you spend six years in orthodontia
spendyears
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with the most painfully embarrassing headgear ever designed,
designedembarrassingheadgearpainfully
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which is only because they don't feel fully actualized.
fully
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That guy's totally out to get you.
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Man! I was just using that as an excuse.
excuseusing
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- He is so dead when Mom finds out! - Reese, we can't bust him.
bustdeadfindsreese
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If we rat him out, then Mom will know we cheated.
cheated
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We're doomed.
doomed
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a76cf937-4bf1-436f-beaa-b117b4df87a4.gif
Two is after one. Three is after two.
three
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Four is after three.
fourthree
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e3cf2bfc-b5be-49b1-87b2-c42a2e27a68e.gif
Something is after something and then we get to 10!
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66b254eb-428f-4978-8a44-f2d1468ba182.gif
- Good lord! - Thank God you're here!
lord
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I was afraid you weren't gonna get my message.
afraidmessage
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- What happened to your eye? - How you want your burgers?
burgershappened
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Just a sec. So I got it all worked out.
worked
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You tell Mom that you need me to repair the lawnmower,
repair
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and then I hang out and I just...
hang
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No, no, I'm just not going to do that, Francis.
francis
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Hey, you guys better figure it out quick. This cheap-ass trash can's melting.
canscheapfiguremeltingquicktrashtrash-cans
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Maybe you could talk to her then?
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Just calm her down so that I could come home, maybe today?
calmhometoday
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Francis, you've got to stop putting me in the middle!
francismiddleputting
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You're just going to let her win?
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There is nothing I can do. You know what the problem is?
problem
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- You and your mother are exactly alike! - That's a lie!
alikemother
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That is true! You're both stubborn and unwilling to bend.
bendstubborn
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So, fine, you win!
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Congratulations! This is your prize!
congratulationsprize
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Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go.
excuse
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It smells like something died in here.
diedsmells
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Your father's right, man.
fathers
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Sometimes you can be so stupid.
sometimesstupid
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Uh-oh.
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I'm sorry. No one wanted it to turn out this way.
wanted
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I feel like I let Reese down.
reese
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Just keep moving, Tony.
movingtony
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So, where does this leave us?
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I think it's best if we make the switch as soon as possible.
bestpossibleswitch
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We need to look at this as an opportunity.
opportunity
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Big opportunity, being in the dumb class.
classdumbopportunity
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Reese, this isn't what I wanted, but you haven't left us any choice.
choiceleftreesewanted
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Mom, don't do this.
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a3c240c0-4ad6-4663-9bc6-311a7f65639b.gif
It's not Reese's fault. He didn't deserve an F on that test.
deservefaultreesestest
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Malcolm, we've already had this discussion.
discussionmalcolm
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383d8c85-3608-42e4-8ccd-cb8afe444d85.gif
I saw the test, he did a good job. He deserved a B.
deservedtest
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This guy is totally out to get him.
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- Malcolm. - Look, I'm sorry you feel that way,
malcolm
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but you can't blame me for Reese's shortcomings.
blamereeses
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Mom, this is the test.
test
↓
c71169dd-cb1d-482f-b611-62814f1f2b3a.gif
Take a look at this question.
question
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"What was the cause of the Great Depression?"
depression
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He put down "Black Thursday." That's a correct answer.
answerblackcorrectcorrect-answerthursday
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No, that's only a partial answer.
answerpartial
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d946a195-1697-46ca-a9dd-735fbd111af0.gif
To get full credit he should have included the vast overproduction in the U.S.,
creditfullincludedvast
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8b4ecc6d-9263-4f8f-90cd-cf3af3f63086.gif
protectionism in the foreign markets--
foreignmarkets
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Overexpansion of credit and stock market speculation?
creditmarketstock
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Yes. That would have been a complete answer.
answercomplete
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Ha! You didn't read the answer because that's exactly what I wrote.
answerreadwrote
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f4febfc3-fe45-4375-947c-5b1e0825a021.gif
"I wrote"?
wrote
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17c5031b-1095-4198-be2a-531030182256.gif
The royal "I," as in Reese.
reeseroyal
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Because I think we can all identify with what he's going through.
identify
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You took that test, didn't you?
test
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You cheated--
cheated
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You let him cheat for you?
cheat
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You gave something he wrote an F?
wrote
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51607adb-0b64-4613-ab35-fe851d4fd869.gif
You are out to get him.
↓
9d9fe749-c393-4483-8505-0ea6038eb6a3.gif
Oh, I can't wait to see you expelled or disbarred or whatever it is they do
expelled
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to creepy little men who abuse their power.
abusecreepypower
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There is no need for name-calling.
callingname
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I suggest we just leave things as they are.
suggest
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f3ae1275-c62c-42fc-951c-a1971fe10a1d.gif
Oh, I don't think so.
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2d801184-b013-4892-b3c2-bf33a8dee4c7.gif
Here's the situation, if you notify the school,
notifyschoolsituation
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then the school will find out Malcolm cheated, he'll be expelled.
cheatedexpelledmalcolmschool
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Don't you threaten me.
threaten
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3e620407-c89b-4564-8389-100e87b075e3.gif
This isn't a threat.
threat
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I just don't think you'd throw away the son who achieves for...
throw
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- Well, Reese. - You don't think I'd sacrifice this one?
reesesacrifice
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Let me explain something to you.
explain
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I would sell Malcolm down the river in a heartbeat to save Reese.
heartbeatmalcolmreeseriversavesell
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- What? - Malcolm's gonna be fine
malcolms
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no matter what happens.
happensmatter
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He'll have to go to junior college or start off blue collar,
bluecollarcollegejuniorstart
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but he'll work his way up to management eventually.
eventuallymanagement
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Reese is the one who needs saving.
needsreesesaving
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I don't believe you.
believe
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No mother could ever be that callous to her own son.
callousmother
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Mom, please let me come home!
home
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I'm cold and I'm hungry! Please, I'll fix the roof!
coldhungryroof
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I'll paint the house, I'll do anything, Mom!
housepaint
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Please, just let me live indoors, Mom!
indoorslive
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Please, I want to be warm again!
warm
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Mom, please!
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Maybe we can work something out.
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There you go, Tony. Night-night.
nightnight-nighttony
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Oh, my God, look at the size of that thing.
size
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Dewey, what in the...
dewey
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Run, Tony, run!
tony
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Why are they always named Tony?
namedtony
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Bye, Tony. I love you.
lovetony
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Yeah, it's cold, filthy, and dangerous, but I say we got off easy.
colddangerouseasyfilthy
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If we all pitch in, we should be done in a week.
pitchweek
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- Hey, hurry up. - I'm trying. I've got tar in my eyes.
eyeshurry