♥ Saved GIFs

Loading…

View all favorites →
Home » Malcolm in the Middle » S02E13 — New Neighbors

Malcolm in the Middle

Season 2, Episode 13 — New Neighbors

TMDB episode metadata
Show: Malcolm in the Middle
Episode title: New Neighbors
Air date: January 21, 2001
Director: Ken Kwapis
Top billed cast: Frankie Muniz, Jane Kaczmarek, Bryan Cranston, Justin Berfield, Erik Per Sullivan, Christopher Masterson
New neighbors, who turn out to be even more awful than Malcolm's family, move in next door; the Marlin Academy cadets prepare for a visit from Oliver North.
Source: TMDB
↓
9d314e78-6b17-4649-8a1c-775cf7209f56.gif
- What you looking at? - Reese's report card.
cardlookingreesesreportreport-card
↓
3aa55bdf-af06-4e22-bf27-94561ed01844.gif
- It is much better than last time. - Really?
↓
fcf1d7ca-7e71-41fc-823d-acc07977f6bd.gif
Yeah. This time he used the exact same brand of pen
brandexactused
↓
653463fc-cdaf-4a27-89aa-8846a8e88c4e.gif
as the teacher to change his grade.
changegradeteacher
↓
3e8373c1-ff20-4d57-bd76-0b6ac0a7e91b.gif
Look at that.
↓
5d260bea-8592-4e15-9f22-672f70bd2177.gif
He gave himself a C in math instead of an A+.
math
↓
b2579c3c-7344-44f3-9eb8-502f6bfaad6e.gif
Yeah, it's subtle. Nice attention to detail.
attentiondetailsubtle
↓
a602ea4a-591c-4d64-a53e-574768026a2a.gif
He's really learning.
learning
↓
26267a76-c084-4444-afa9-747267d99f72.gif
- Two months grounded? - Three months scrubbing toilets.
groundedmonthsscrubbingthreethree-monthstoilets
↓
fb339006-1351-48a4-b59f-441a71a17152.gif
♪ Yes, no, maybe ♪
↓
2acd2422-8ad4-457f-9c32-400621240a24.gif
♪ I don't know ♪
↓
e39bc2da-0178-48e1-b8cd-9ab45fe92ece.gif
♪ Can you repeat the question? ♪
questionrepeat
↓
669217a9-775e-4a94-abce-c920808e0e4e.gif
Hey!
↓
7c7200eb-c575-4e20-93a6-c3902ea09e9b.gif
Ooh, espresso-maker.
espressomaker
↓
0afeedfe-48ac-438e-9649-126b598b2365.gif
Leather couch. I'm thinking upscale professional.
couchleatherprofessionalthinking
↓
a95453c3-37b1-4807-8d0e-383cec23623e.gif
If they're living here, they haven't managed their money well.
livingmanagedmoney
↓
0d2c63b6-d003-4b4e-bd49-de0183e934e0.gif
Families keep moving in and out of that house.
familieshousemoving
↓
bfd897e6-f7ff-4564-9317-17d8b71dd1e3.gif
I wonder why.
wonder
↓
362e9360-2bda-4919-9542-aafabe318faf.gif
Maybe the house is haunted.
hauntedhouse
↓
1ee58c14-03f2-4ac8-a012-3f9559d4c5a3.gif
We have a clean slate with them. We're going to behave.
behaveclean
↓
5c8dbf12-171a-4701-9b02-009932f5078a.gif
I want to have one person on this earth who can pick up the mail.
earthmailpersonpick
↓
f72689e7-fd65-4c98-8589-913d6bbb272f.gif
Your mother's right.
mothers
↓
2700fbdc-09c2-492e-ae0e-da647e022cc7.gif
Doesn't hurt to have allies on the block, especially allies with a pool.
alliesblockespeciallyhurtpool
↓
dd72c1ad-3653-40c7-86a5-3a7dd35ae2ee.gif
We just got to make sure we get to them before the Reeds poison them against us.
poison
↓
5dcb198e-ca6a-4c60-8b80-46eaab3a134a.gif
Or the McCartys. Or the Whitfords.
↓
51e1588d-4309-40a1-b58e-a25d69e7713b.gif
We need to get to them before the Whitfords.
↓
6467a911-0c35-499c-9f9d-5cecab1342ce.gif
I see Mrs. Schneider circling.
circling
↓
7f39fa17-d90d-4bc7-8483-e76400066175.gif
Go, go, go, go, go, go!
↓
12c630ba-a9c8-453b-9e3c-d5ca238e450c.gif
on the parade ground practicing your close order drill.
closedrillgroundorderparadepracticing
↓
de74f739-be55-4bfc-9937-f7245f2b1be9.gif
But, sir, we just did close order drill.
closedrillorder
↓
cf793c64-d2f9-4c33-9759-45063bfec41c.gif
I think, by law, we're supposed to be allowed to sleep.
allowedsleepsupposed
↓
d5ed06b8-1baa-4b8a-bb97-066920255b8a.gif
Gentlemen, Lieutenant Colonel Oliver North,
colonelgentlemenlieutenantnortholiver
↓
619e1131-338d-4135-b6fd-d0ba01241f6d.gif
United States Marine Corps, Retired, is coming here
comingcorpsmarineretiredstatesunitedunited-states
↓
f0da6af0-79b3-42e9-952b-b11a2e8b3af1.gif
to give you a motivational speech.
motivationalspeech
↓
8d18b440-46d0-46f2-850b-6aea7600a70b.gif
- Sir, isn't he a convicted felon? - That conviction was overturned.
convictedconvictionfelon
↓
a947dee2-c472-47aa-8c74-5185bff1cda9.gif
So was mine, but I'm still stuck here.
stuck
↓
adc7ca73-0292-4610-9caa-8f04c0ed3963.gif
Well, if you had a Bronze Star, a Silver Star, two Purple Hearts,
bronzeheartspurplesilverstar
↓
6acba056-aafa-4825-996b-79f958a763f1.gif
and a nationally syndicated radio call-in show,
radio
↓
a38c4223-2476-4f8a-b5f3-5d7510be0659.gif
then maybe you could have had a deal.
deal
↓
b8ef924a-4879-425e-a441-01c430b61465.gif
But since you don't...
↓
de51f469-2428-4de5-85f6-db8d4e5e2bb4.gif
you can shut your piehole!
↓
d0b82c14-6208-4610-b3cf-858a90cdccd7.gif
This is nice, Tina. You didn't have to barbecue.
barbecuetina
↓
865f703d-920a-4008-8c91-5393a76565b0.gif
You're the first neighbors to come by and say hello.
neighbors
↓
d1cbfd14-e0e8-49c5-9986-cc6bdbef1b07.gif
Well, that's not surprising.
surprising
↓
b9916626-c5ba-4847-907d-9eed3d5f9057.gif
I don't want to speak ill of anybody and I won't say who,
anybodyspeak
↓
1ae976c9-946f-451d-8be1-d8cfa9fde30f.gif
but some of our neighbors are prone to paranoid fantasies.
fantasiesneighborsparanoidprone
↓
f1d751c5-3835-4fc3-a132-b078aa7d9ef1.gif
Don't get me started on the stories.
startedstories
↓
fe214ca0-1d3b-4c64-bba9-82c7a08910be.gif
- Hal... - Yeah.
↓
1a18adab-8115-4d52-881d-88dbc12d17d4.gif
So, what's there to do around here?
↓
825aee94-2f57-44c3-a56b-cb2e5bc4bfca.gif
Well, there's a pothole we like to jump with our bikes.
bikesjump
↓
31c6e806-866a-4567-9b18-d770399d30dd.gif
They filled it.
filled
↓
d5b81574-1721-47ae-aed9-ae1b0de6ac11.gif
There's a dead squirrel we like to poke at.
deadpokesquirrel
↓
c48f846e-a92c-43c8-9dba-948c5402667f.gif
That should be good for a few more days.
days
↓
c465f9d1-1c3e-4c3d-a1e8-65d8e54e1c74.gif
And there's always the dried-up creek in the flooded park.
creekdriedfloodedpark
↓
8d20458d-ba2b-4555-bb2f-30bd0b36a050.gif
Boy, if it wasn't for that squirrel, my life would be really pathetic.
lifepatheticsquirrel
↓
1ab1bd3f-f76b-426c-a101-b5d68fe1e7ee.gif
Wait, wait, you only flipped them once?
flipped
↓
d555e420-d1bf-4079-ac31-d7627be6f512.gif
I feel every patty has a moment.
momentpatty
↓
4a4ec2fc-6de8-4072-9836-076a20e1f236.gif
See, I always rush it.
rush
↓
a7068586-8c1b-4af3-bec6-bf05dda25792.gif
Factor in the fat content, Hal.
contentfactor
↓
fc0d6ecf-0536-4da9-805d-58de8ca9cecc.gif
- Hey, do you have a good doctor? - Why, is something wrong?
doctor
↓
008d4256-2b36-45b6-9aca-e09b2c02239c.gif
Well, neck pain. Or back pain.
neckpain
↓
a36b769b-baf7-413f-80ff-2bf6ea5f8614.gif
Whatever will get him to write the prescription.
prescriptionwrite
↓
aa8c623f-2df5-4f15-9580-7cbc9cf8bb53.gif
- No, I'm sorry. My doctor's honest. - Too bad.
doctorshonest
↓
72a4c81b-89c0-4c4d-997c-cefe118f2e3d.gif
I'll let you know if I find one.
↓
bdfd5e6e-3179-4697-8202-45e386ff7f2a.gif
♪ We are wrong, we are wrong ♪
↓
078083f4-7eb2-4225-b72c-423975c7e105.gif
♪ We are all so, so wrong We are monkeys ♪
monkeys
↓
c8d70a5e-4c8d-4628-a67e-111b620eae6d.gif
♪ Na, na, na ♪
↓
0aed5305-3bb4-4e07-b7ef-773b4e8016b9.gif
♪ We are false, we're untrue We should be in the zoo... ♪
false
↓
0007bb84-e68a-4141-b719-9a0286b113d4.gif
I wouldn't stare at him like that. He'll get angry.
angrystare
↓
ff7f2900-9d1f-4c86-bcae-6176ce7f0902.gif
No, he won't. He's friendly.
friendly
↓
f94cbcaa-daa9-4821-9fde-d731912aa3d2.gif
- Tell that to the kid he ate. - What kid?
↓
346f89d8-efee-4fff-9bcc-cb69be134ca2.gif
That's why we had to move. Didn't you read about it in the paper?
paperread
↓
f13d38f9-9f07-46bd-82d2-83d51265e2e6.gif
- No. - Just as well.
↓
1444fd12-e108-4676-b9a5-4f77c814f0a6.gif
Pictures were really gruesome.
gruesomepictures
↓
1fa81215-b8ec-468e-a283-0c6787a826bb.gif
♪ Believe anymore So believe you're a monkey ♪
anymorebelievemonkey
↓
6b80e569-3a00-41ab-bda5-77473b1b52c5.gif
I did it. I did it!
↓
e115b32d-2620-4e3a-8d7c-2531348dbc3c.gif
See? I told you you could.
↓
2734d8f8-d999-4e3d-89fc-1c129477dc18.gif
Uh, can I have another burger?
anotherburger
↓
abec81a9-588d-4d4f-af5a-acb0fc65796e.gif
- Malcolm spit on mine. - What?
malcolmspit
↓
ae4e18fd-3c91-40e2-ae3a-7fa23141d169.gif
Malcolm, why would you do such a thing?
malcolm
↓
bfd6e548-34cc-4828-8e04-7c0c3a8aa954.gif
- But, I didn't do it. - Yeah, yeah, here.
↓
8a9fdfc8-0962-4425-8426-a67efb0caad1.gif
There. Now beat it.
beat
↓
069c5a08-105c-497a-8a51-4777d8eddb75.gif
♪ We are wrong, we are wrong ♪
↓
e1d00668-a817-4404-9dd0-602125b74749.gif
♪ We are all so, so wrong We are monkeys ♪
monkeys
↓
fa0c3d24-f077-4160-ba10-9aa19b15c661.gif
Why are you staring at me?
staring
↓
56b57023-dec2-4702-bbbd-9d14ef37b022.gif
What, do you want a chip?
chip
↓
22990b7e-9230-41bd-9318-318f63608ba5.gif
Ow! Cut it out! Ow! What are you doing? Stop it!
↓
43cb1ba1-2a2c-476e-b2f4-e12bbba6cfb8.gif
Let go! Ow!
↓
fa722a87-e179-4076-bcb1-989570104759.gif
I think there are some briquettes in one of these boxes.
boxes
↓
c66d41b9-c813-4ec6-a83e-2f57aa3e2f04.gif
This...
↓
6420ac05-6045-4710-a5bc-525fc8234f6a.gif
Is this heaven?
heaven
↓
b320cc99-d504-4c78-b9fb-c10e18bb4e5d.gif
Wow, look at this collection.
collection
↓
55d6fe31-e602-4a5b-8efe-c92d503bcb10.gif
Oh, Doobie Brothers, King Crimson.
brotherscrimsondoobieking
↓
71e474ab-5131-4756-888c-8e76455fa8e7.gif
Oh, Cheap Trick. Hello!
cheaptrick
↓
f6d8dacb-2e31-4e36-b0d5-a39c3eff31f3.gif
- You like vinyl? - Oh, yeah.
↓
c8310c56-867f-4e24-b18c-f1187b5c2db7.gif
Check this out.
check
↓
964ebc89-fc52-48bf-9be2-5dddcf01578f.gif
- Is that a Shirendorff 1280 turntable? - 1290.
↓
0ad3d1d8-53a5-432c-90de-d80b0c6ff539.gif
Why did you say I spit on your burger?
burgerspit
↓
bb36e05b-8d5b-4351-b47d-d63e8dc68c81.gif
Don't worry about it.
worry
↓
419903dd-e926-4a18-b7fa-7d64bb03083b.gif
Want to see something funny?
funny
↓
90f5b2d5-2ca6-42a8-bb95-8b04373b9968.gif
- Hey, quit staring at my mom's chest. - What? I'm not.
chestmomsquitstaring
↓
f7d9da5d-442c-4b17-93c9-70945d3de1e2.gif
- Malcolm, knock it off! - But I wasn't--
knockmalcolm
↓
5dd672bf-dcb8-4551-9fab-91dbae961e58.gif
Get away from me! Ow!
↓
664df51b-860b-4dc6-905a-33dd514ef897.gif
Get away from me!
↓
d1126aa2-b5ba-46f3-8f6a-a5b32b4c2edd.gif
Your daughter is biting my son.
bitingdaughter
↓
355240f6-1335-46f7-bfe6-219d8a8bf5ca.gif
Oh, no, they're just playing.
playing
↓
28bcb910-ed53-4a20-9e7c-d4a9bf948c2e.gif
Ow! It hurts! It hurts! Mommy!
hurtsmommy
↓
f935bbde-75b7-4d12-b709-a63c178519d3.gif
Ow!
↓
96ddd4c2-7601-41f1-9e0b-885dfb0d3c87.gif
If you want to breathe,
breathe
↓
fa611b90-322c-4629-9486-5dc91a5e4cfd.gif
you're going to have to open your mouth and let go of my son.
mouthopen
↓
d915d8b7-5b9e-4e03-9216-225e68ab896d.gif
- What are you doing? - Just a little trick I picked up.
pickedtrick
↓
c61ae929-e405-4291-8ab3-2ed6d01d23f8.gif
How dare you touch my daughter.
daredaughtertouch
↓
c6d8cc52-6c16-44ea-866b-3141648b4746.gif
She was gnawing on my son. If you're not going to control her--
control
↓
3d8adbba-229e-4a08-8cfb-47c01c5ce9ee.gif
Are you questioning my parenting?
parentingquestioning
↓
1a9c3369-47b0-43a8-8cf2-377f8b087408.gif
I don't know. I haven't seen it yet.
seen
↓
f7dc3868-bd94-4bac-a649-4fe8f1acf7f4.gif
How nice. This from a woman raising a pervert.
pervertraisingwoman
↓
1e4a8784-d45a-43df-a739-d72f239579c4.gif
Where was he supposed to look?
supposed
↓
86332dd9-3532-46eb-845b-bd24e713714c.gif
You got them out like eggs on a plate.
eggsplate
↓
16b367d5-4ac2-4e8d-aaa5-1116df84f639.gif
- I wasn't-- - Emily, Josh,
emilyjosh
↓
4193b4ad-5586-4a5e-90bd-f2e2035a1b30.gif
I don't want you playing with these awful children anymore.
anymoreawfulchildrenplaying
↓
cc972f6c-9d82-4bcc-9be4-70473e2bba16.gif
Hey, my-- Well, they may be awful,
awful
↓
9dd5c4d3-c130-4535-80f7-602bad858809.gif
but they're a hell of a lot better than your two brats.
↓
c4a7d124-2b76-4761-a806-44661c41cdb1.gif
♪ Whoa! Cherokee People! ♪
whoa
↓
cbcac988-c650-4f30-9651-ad6c6744e4cd.gif
♪ Cherokee Tribe... ♪
tribe
↓
c9d056ca-566a-4ddb-bc4b-90e1a5111b61.gif
A little help?
↓
aa0c8488-c5d8-49d1-bb2c-9edc1f1d3837.gif
This is nice.
↓
24c49f0e-86fd-4d21-a306-ed810bc1f5bb.gif
- Yeah. - You know, you may not believe this,
believe
↓
d5a7e4c3-e725-4093-8743-817b4a1ab9fd.gif
but you're the first neighbor friend I've ever had.
friendneighbor
↓
87659d6b-76d7-439a-a674-aedced910d53.gif
- No way. - Yeah.
↓
501a87db-76cf-4999-8873-d23e44e64163.gif
You're the first guy back here that didn't work for the power company.
companypower
↓
ac2b8509-9f6b-4206-bf7c-7319c4c123ef.gif
Actually, I have a confession to make. I don't have many male friends myself.
confessionfriendsmale
↓
618079c7-42d3-49bf-b6fc-de876df67566.gif
- To friendship. - To friendship.
friendship
↓
9189e7a8-3eeb-4ded-a416-5ed5dcf0663c.gif
- I'm straight. - Me, too.
straight
↓
f8d579bc-a8d7-49a5-9dcb-06318e66cc27.gif
Malcolm, what's going on?
malcolm
↓
3c08180b-75d0-4136-8a00-86dda2ea3be5.gif
- Get away. I'm not talking to you. - Why? What'd I do?
whatd
↓
3aa97b7f-20a8-4ba3-b334-7de0fb195737.gif
You keep telling lies about me.
liestelling
↓
d32288ee-f79e-442b-970c-408a385ded2c.gif
Come on, man. It's just a joke.
joke
↓
59efe00b-6d3c-4f26-96cc-19adde003d4b.gif
I didn't know you were so sensitive.
sensitive
↓
55a5fac8-aecf-4598-a3f2-a3f7955cc6a1.gif
Excuse me. My friend here thinks you're really pretty.
excusefriendthinks
↓
d0ed1689-7294-40ec-9483-df0e156481ae.gif
- No, I don't, I mean-- - Come on, Malcolm, just tell her.
malcolm
↓
c927de43-b391-4c57-a8d1-dbee4b3ae05c.gif
Maybe you'll stop following her around everywhere.
following
↓
7e3525fa-655d-4c49-89dd-af6ee16f63b2.gif
I am telling you, it is not healthy.
healthytelling
↓
498a425f-7a99-4690-b1c8-a94189c66bfb.gif
Your mom said to stay away from us!
↓
4f4999ee-ee60-45b3-a930-007a9394bc09.gif
Damn it! Damn it, Hector, not over there!
hector
↓
42a6b204-ba3e-4ef3-a04f-b2e08651cee8.gif
Are you deaf or stupid or both?
deafstupid
↓
2c008ca4-daf7-41a1-8365-f3f380454839.gif
Could you please try to be a little less useless?
lessuseless
↓
f84b1c24-de71-4713-b2e1-8f20b2625194.gif
Where is the sun? Do you see the sun?
↓
ff727fe4-675f-4c26-856d-1a92a3b210cb.gif
I told you to dig the holes over there!
holes
↓
a70afc46-d068-4943-af7e-4318209ae6cd.gif
El sol!
↓
636ff32d-d562-4f2f-953c-e9ff88933940.gif
God, you people drive me nuts with your laziness!
drivenuts
↓
5b0dbbde-24a0-4d0a-b6ae-ff5493929084.gif
What is the matter with you?
matter
↓
95ee436b-4e03-477d-a846-eb060b2bb9af.gif
Excuse me?
excuse
↓
5eee08d7-8e45-4477-91fc-3cbb13ddfdd6.gif
You can't talk to him like that! He's a human being.
human
↓
dce0ddb6-8ea4-42b4-8708-3ba941b6d9b1.gif
You talk to him like he's some kind of animal.
animal
↓
46047053-3a76-4172-83fa-d84c9a5108b4.gif
I will deal with the help the way I want to.
deal
↓
e4ec7c7d-1006-4903-83a2-4d86db4a068b.gif
He is not "the help."
↓
832d716c-6d11-49fd-b020-28169af39e66.gif
He's not a servant or a slave. He's a professional.
professionalservantslave
↓
37c1cbd6-b7ff-49e5-8217-22bacde90f4d.gif
He's a person with a skill.
personskill
↓
ae53e725-356b-4d0a-b8f4-801ec2fdc5d8.gif
A skill you do not have, which is why you hired him!
hiredskill
↓
5ebab437-31b2-4ce0-9127-67aa2374853f.gif
Oh, for God's sake, just pick it up!
godsgods-sakepicksake
↓
0780d7f3-59dd-4685-9ea8-1b9b4dabb2b6.gif
Who does that woman think she is?
woman
↓
dfcf0924-78ec-4a81-82db-7e6e21b79cde.gif
Suddenly fake boobs and $50 highlights allow you to treat other people like dirt?
allowboobsdirtfakehighlightssuddenlytreat
↓
cc76f56b-1002-42f7-8998-5b9978d7e0d7.gif
I tell you, Hal, they are officially the worst neighbors we've ever had.
neighborsofficiallyworst
↓
ad8f1eea-dafa-4f54-8e44-cdbdb28490ac.gif
Worst neighbors?
neighborsworst
↓
810f030d-9faa-4c63-9b59-6f2cce56e87f.gif
Honey, that's not really fair to Mike.
fairhoneymike
↓
72f67903-4cb9-4d94-ac06-51321289fcad.gif
Remember the 70-year-old swingers?
rememberswingers
↓
ff084b0f-f34f-4342-8144-20d63cdb537a.gif
Dad, they're horrible.
horrible
↓
9d9a5251-3f71-42df-a64d-a59985550a9f.gif
Look at what their little piranha did to me.
↓
7a088009-db7c-4236-8172-ac7b9ce5dafb.gif
Every time I go outside, Emily's there, lying in wait.
lying
↓
55d67e9c-cb99-481b-936b-5afa9a63d2ee.gif
Yeah, and that kid Josh keeps making up all these weird lies about me.
joshkeepsliesweird
↓
30821ab2-edf4-44b2-98d0-e83a71ac5d3d.gif
He told the whole school
schoolwholewhole-school
↓
09f9569c-e0d0-411c-89fb-7b8c116e380b.gif
that I was born with both sex organs and raised as a girl
borngirlorgansraised
↓
774a3ef7-b797-4924-953f-1e8d3a027539.gif
until I was five.
five
↓
8000a596-ef55-4e23-b09f-fa4c5e376a48.gif
Their gnome wants to eat me. It's evil.
evilgnomewants
↓
e6a1d507-b9d2-4b3b-a4f9-5ef002421862.gif
They're all evil, sweetie.
evilsweetie
↓
97d85331-16fa-401f-9acb-62625ef4b1e7.gif
I think the word everyone is tiptoeing around is "feud."
feudword
↓
4cb8f3b6-2155-4eb0-aff2-82c47afb1bf8.gif
That's a bit drastic, Reese.
drasticreese
↓
93ae3ac2-4ea7-4feb-8f1e-9ab6eb748c5d.gif
No, Dad, a feud is just what this family needs.
familyfeudneeds
↓
208b7bd3-8e1a-44f7-be2c-0395817a981c.gif
Having a common enemy will hone our skills and unite us
commoncommon-enemyenemyhavingskillsunite
↓
abe88e70-24e0-4c28-b24b-750f12b01ab7.gif
in a brotherhood of blood.
bloodbrotherhood
↓
ef4253db-6db2-49d0-a6cb-d2496e75704d.gif
Look, all I'm saying is that before we judge them,
judge
↓
e345bfe4-fd39-4611-a5cb-20268c627790.gif
maybe we should take a long, hard look at ourselves.
hard
↓
0b3136f1-fe72-4421-96c0-fde2e09ee324.gif
Oh, never mind.
mind
↓
d5ef1c99-60ed-4a9c-8ee8-ef1db9cc22f9.gif
Ow!
↓
58625e44-8c35-45f1-bf6c-961ae004d6d4.gif
No! No! No!
↓
2dbe28b6-213d-4353-a0ee-a803b8db0c07.gif
Do you think Colonel North is going to be impressed
colonelimpressednorth
↓
e96b0f60-8115-4924-abae-0ad3ec1be973.gif
by such a sloppy group of cadets?
cadetsgroupsloppy
↓
712fd14c-d1cf-4fc7-8592-eec3f3bc8c16.gif
Now, we are going to do this and keep doing it until you get it right!
↓
5c09824d-8eca-4fc8-b0a8-9c79ca6b98eb.gif
All right, now, once more.
↓
4550e05e-556a-4913-9227-e256f2a4a89b.gif
With feeling. And...
feeling
↓
b4a07b08-2e66-4568-90a3-424eeffb53a3.gif
♪ Candy Man ♪
candy
↓
1cc135bf-254f-4323-9d5c-b6dbe3963989.gif
♪ Hey! Candy Man ♪
candy
↓
0673bfef-aa88-4c88-917d-9e65a07d8f2a.gif
♪ Who can take a sunrise ♪
sunrise
↓
c5e34fd4-61fe-4f72-864f-f1900e4db9a8.gif
♪ Who can take a sunrise ♪
sunrise
↓
d14c7e16-b7f5-4deb-8d52-fba1c05318f6.gif
♪ Sprinkle it with dew Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
sprinkle
↓
e700da42-b8ed-400a-875c-76faa4c7fe73.gif
♪ Cover it with chocolate and a miracle or two ♪
chocolatecovermiracle
↓
42ad10c8-5671-446a-b47f-3a4f34139e96.gif
♪ Candy Man ♪
candy
↓
43a8d196-1730-4780-a6fa-d09fee3ec147.gif
♪ Candy Man ♪
candy
↓
731b7236-1aa4-477d-851d-ef616d081604.gif
♪ Oh, the Candy Man can ♪
candy
↓
88f5b04e-3e01-4069-8d6c-9b2321119dab.gif
♪ The Candy Man can ♪
candy
↓
ae5bb390-b8c1-4881-b6eb-90b73bd87ea3.gif
♪ The Candy Man can ♪
candy
↓
e67343ad-e12a-4d0f-b77a-b3b25ec9965b.gif
♪ 'Cause he mixes it with love ♪
love
↓
d298d057-b458-4756-bcbf-d96872112b36.gif
♪ And makes the world taste good ♪
makestasteworld
↓
751fb793-8142-4dc2-8b45-1d7ed4e40391.gif
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
↓
737b407f-d32c-49c6-b35b-4350b341269b.gif
♪ The Candy Man makes ♪
candymakes
↓
61dd1b9b-14f2-4b4d-94e9-9934e6608272.gif
♪ Everything he bakes ♪
↓
f2330a98-365f-4932-9acc-b5d24cd6d996.gif
♪ Satisfying and delicious ♪
delicioussatisfying
↓
631278f1-bf0c-4bc4-a7a9-6df11a80d1aa.gif
♪ Do-do-do-do-do-do ♪
↓
2b8e6441-b6f4-4b88-a10f-b81144c68143.gif
♪ Talk about your childhood wishes ♪
childhoodwishes
↓
8256b358-2bb9-4139-a583-9acb34809918.gif
♪ You can even eat the dishes ♪
dishes
↓
1a8fd70d-de30-4f16-b703-508cb9ef4be4.gif
- She's out there. - Who?
↓
871eac17-5a93-4fe6-a9ac-48dea5f6c358.gif
Emily, the Demon Child. She's everywhere.
childdemonemily
↓
8ca8cd16-f982-463d-9f22-1e5859f11150.gif
No matter where I go or what I do, she's there.
matter
↓
4ea31aba-46ba-4a9a-8b17-ff18e7df6f49.gif
I'm going crazy.
crazy
↓
eac7e14e-a32e-46b5-8392-38883b206ca6.gif
Aren't you the one who wanted a feud?
feudwanted
↓
855b0dbc-c1ee-479f-b65e-f1ab137518b0.gif
Malcolm, you know I don't think things through.
malcolm
↓
fe377bd6-dcbb-4325-809d-f1b5ea11b9f3.gif
How am I supposed to fight her?
fightsupposed
↓
05013b45-dbeb-4bb4-91b3-ee95149011a1.gif
I can't hit her.
↓
3ddb1fd0-9177-4178-9d71-e376f64aa2a8.gif
I can't do anything to her, and she knows it.
knows
↓
2e740bcd-cdc0-4bf3-a88a-55fcec5a1927.gif
- I'm completely defenseless. - Reese, she's four.
completelyfourreese
↓
8e80c242-cb14-4470-9c25-2a156d898f8c.gif
You're bigger and smarter than--
biggersmarter
↓
5e9fc91e-f456-4a1f-b743-f77bb3981687.gif
Well, you're bigger.
bigger
↓
9e5394fe-226a-45cb-910e-61c24703158c.gif
Malcolm, would you come out here, please?
malcolm
↓
ae6d2b17-9865-4441-aa7a-1dea30978ebb.gif
Malcolm, these people would like a word with you.
malcolmword
↓
32be0a76-14d8-4e26-8ab3-395e50295177.gif
We've had a report that you've been seen prowling
reportseen
↓
a697bfec-ebed-40e8-b5d1-8d3796756e1a.gif
in the neighbors' yards and peeking in their windows.
neighborspeekingwindowsyards
↓
e0b9bd38-6399-495d-86e0-9b50e14d3a48.gif
- What? - So you've decided to become
becomedecided
↓
b1f1eb20-bd43-4d89-98d4-afe56288df77.gif
a Peeping Tom?
peeping
↓
c240f56e-c4f0-49af-b6c3-d5a55fbbc390.gif
A Peeping Tom?
peeping
↓
eef42f50-8e3e-41a0-8672-409c9a6c2d98.gif
But I didn't do it. Why would I want to look in anybody's windows?
anybodyswindows
↓
49639659-0b12-4b5e-9677-487b9bc7adaf.gif
Have you seen the people in this neighborhood?
neighborhoodseen
↓
2d60817e-6bfc-485b-b01e-f644a53ceba6.gif
Peeping isn't about looks, son.
peeping
↓
84556d25-d515-4d2a-a401-07fbdc13c4b7.gif
It's about the thrill and exhilaration of observing someone without their knowledge.
knowledgethrill
↓
36f312f6-f4a0-4b84-b40a-c56bb456793b.gif
Oh! Shh!
↓
65b5c7b7-cf7a-4ea9-b995-3bf66c162e14.gif
You still have to go to Dayton?
↓
58821967-2d95-46d5-b90a-38f6cc7a755c.gif
Yeah, but it's only a couple of days.
coupledays
↓
12514310-09c5-4fe3-bd52-5394c78e8c43.gif
How was your presentation?
presentation
↓
61429103-3b92-4edb-a834-0db676c3ca10.gif
Oh, great. Your joke killed.
jokekilled
↓
21befed2-76ce-4744-998d-4e3f9c05a603.gif
Look at us.
↓
469c753a-75b0-4262-911e-1b198510f01c.gif
We've been reduced to sneaking around at night.
nightreducedsneaking
↓
e7b6ad14-22dd-40a4-87c3-546a03aa63f5.gif
A man should be able to talk to his best friend in daylight.
ablebestbest-frienddaylightfriend
↓
ec031357-3845-4d4c-9855-ae16b03501f8.gif
Did you say "best"?
best
↓
88def72f-c4a2-4a00-945b-507278b05a6a.gif
I should go.
↓
7b3d5b5b-ef82-4283-97af-56c290dae9a1.gif
This has been going on for days.
days
↓
663c24a1-b4a4-4f3c-8467-4e72074f75da.gif
I can't believe everybody fell for Josh's stupid lie.
believeeverybodyfellstupid
↓
59e3d718-3b83-4fcf-b0b6-588fd3c31669.gif
Maybe if I just ignore it for a while, it'll go away.
ignoreitll
↓
a8f407aa-75f6-4be3-a1b0-49ab2b4256ce.gif
People have short memories, right?
memoriesshort
↓
9ec5c64b-fb31-4efe-a628-7d8bdb92024c.gif
♪ Late at night, when you're sleeping ♪
latenightsleeping
↓
65dac8f6-d65b-4abf-8581-f95b284655c8.gif
♪ That's when Malcolm ♪
malcolm
↓
dcaec4f4-271e-4058-aa63-b892507681b6.gif
♪ Comes a-peeping ♪
comespeeping
↓
a654aead-30bb-4a80-80b4-84c05d9029db.gif
♪ You better watch out ♪
watch
↓
1c38d1af-7113-4d4a-ad2d-4d439476d8bd.gif
♪ You better beware ♪
beware
↓
790a065d-3fe4-4cb6-9af9-50324b0ce165.gif
♪ Or Malcolm will see your underwear ♪
malcolmunderwear
↓
02c272b1-4745-487a-950f-d649d29af3e9.gif
What are you doing? Where did you learn that?
learn
↓
f3c59cc1-2d6c-4ee7-860e-1b400efb16e6.gif
At school.
school
↓
528ad7e3-0f48-4195-b006-f6dd3b5e3922.gif
♪ One, two, three, four ♪
fourthreethree-four
↓
b47c51a0-ad4a-4255-80b9-17783df789db.gif
♪ Malcolm's at your bedroom door ♪
bedroomdoormalcolms
↓
7e159748-e5df-4145-8e80-0fed2f35a9fc.gif
♪ Five, six, seven... ♪
fiveseven
↓
5f5417eb-d7e9-4afe-9082-b1ffac0b274f.gif
Oh, my God!
↓
55dc08f3-44f2-4136-b797-1d6f794b3313.gif
What are you doing?
↓
2603801e-ad48-4be3-99f1-4933a5ab870c.gif
These are our hedges!
↓
7965b042-43c8-4bc7-aeb5-3d50d93e7e90.gif
This is the property line!
linepropertyproperty-line
↓
ac4ec339-37b9-447e-bef1-c7b2a2cff000.gif
The property line! The property line!
linepropertyproperty-line
↓
995ef51b-e81e-44fc-a5cd-a5d47d2382e5.gif
You can't cross the property line!
crosslinepropertyproperty-line
↓
3ebc7bb8-5b2a-46ff-bba3-286923c75457.gif
I can see you!
↓
69033914-504f-4f1c-8598-965656ee70fd.gif
Don't think you can hide from me!
hide
↓
768b111a-1067-4f2f-84bb-08099e02029b.gif
What don't you come out here and apologize to me like an adult?
adultapologize
↓
84a9e16a-b531-41b8-97c4-c739734a631b.gif
Oh!
↓
c308f1ea-5a08-4f29-ae55-4dde1de49de7.gif
Oh, that's real mature.
maturereal
↓
fa6370a9-98d9-4715-9d78-97a3bf928c7b.gif
Don't think you can get rid of me so easy!
easy
↓
9297d8dd-0d97-44c4-bd97-b3ea3a5c452a.gif
Fine.
↓
d01c9103-9335-436c-aadd-93f251f6599c.gif
That's the way you want it to be?
↓
77c18ae3-30a8-4742-992e-185149a5110c.gif
You'll get these back when you fix my hedges!
↓
c1a307d2-5637-43ef-ac15-7714dee4df0b.gif
What's going on? We're on our fifth rendition of "Candy Man."
candyfifth
↓
d8e6faa7-38f8-4118-aacd-087093650512.gif
- Where is Spangler? - He's not ready.
readyspangler
↓
9676786b-27a3-44bd-8b0a-748786448c17.gif
Is he trying to make a fashionable entrance?
entrance
↓
6d88fb66-9ce6-4a57-91f9-d727823b9e43.gif
North's been waiting for dinner for 45 minutes.
dinnerminuteswaiting
↓
95044b03-1780-4565-97f3-343cc8f92764.gif
He's going to fill up on cheese and crackers.
cheesecrackersfill
↓
dea097e2-885d-4688-acb7-2413db6af253.gif
- Huh? - Are you all right, sir?
↓
59715150-e332-41ed-bf26-67aef461b3aa.gif
I am a little under the weather.
weather
↓
8407fbc8-5d26-436c-818d-da099c134c0c.gif
- You're drunk, sir. - That could be why.
drunk
↓
b835d7c1-62a3-46ed-9811-f07af549e149.gif
I was a tad nervous about Colonel North's visit.
colonelnervousvisit
↓
2e147004-f97d-4a52-85ae-db7fe1792e8b.gif
I thought that a little nip of something might help.
might
↓
579b120b-6b33-4f40-ad2b-b3d3eacb7e03.gif
That, and seven or eight belts of Scotch.
beltseightscotchseven
↓
55217995-25f7-4fd1-97cf-3736fa28777a.gif
Let's get you dressed.
dressed
↓
e0a8f74c-4ba4-4508-be96-d82e232a242a.gif
And attached.
attached
↓
0957bf40-aacc-4ebd-a6e0-21057c8429c4.gif
The man is a national hero.
heronational
↓
bb6a7b46-593b-4fbe-97c6-2c0bf63d3666.gif
He has done so many things and I have done so little.
↓
1aaf6354-727b-446d-a276-53970d27575c.gif
I don't deserve to breathe the same air as that great man.
breathedeserve
↓
ac531e8d-da44-4d8f-a7b6-7b7e3d6e1f9b.gif
- Don't talk like that, sir. - No! I'm a worm.
worm
↓
a1bf3d2a-f72f-4ff2-953a-e805c5f7b04a.gif
Cadet, I'm a worm.
cadetworm
↓
a88d8c67-e0aa-481d-8a47-57b2a9c53d8b.gif
I belong on the floor with the other worms.
belongfloorworms
↓
5ef3f4f5-28f0-4f7e-b2dd-5e26a6f16416.gif
Sir, get up.
↓
55dd369e-480a-45cc-82eb-4374ef5bd000.gif
Sir, please stop wriggling.
↓
fd0525eb-e9c9-4e24-890f-1a74b2747be1.gif
Sir?
↓
15d0bba6-fa6e-4e96-a952-60ca0d89b26d.gif
Look, we just sneak over the fence,
fencesneak
↓
46d517f2-0523-4bf8-862b-ed42daf64fdc.gif
plant the stolen goods under Josh's window,
goodsplantstolenwindow
↓
e740fa2e-305c-408d-b012-63bfd840e8bf.gif
and make an anonymous phone call to the police from Stevie's house.
anonymoushousephonepolicestevies
↓
e6c05f9f-8ecc-47e0-9e3f-29be25c1af5c.gif
Yeah, I know it's stupid, but I'm too desperate to care.
caredesperatestupid
↓
fe01da1f-6dfa-46af-b21d-2ef47181acd1.gif
Are you sure this is going to work?
↓
548bae7a-f857-4c66-a01c-d62f39b83a37.gif
If there's one thing I've learned, you can't clear your own name.
clearlearnedname
↓
b04905e4-7cd5-4da3-96b1-5183b7700e6c.gif
You can only ruin someone else's.
elsesruin
↓
cacfb115-779c-43e6-86dd-307264f544b6.gif
- Yeah, but-- - Trust me.
trust
↓
674debe0-93e3-4ea0-8ff2-786083a767de.gif
I've thought of everything.
↓
0ebebc75-6b25-4eec-b53d-fa06d61b378b.gif
Everyone's going to think Josh is a thief.
everyonesjoshthief
↓
021db830-88fc-4d31-9159-00aaaf62ce58.gif
His parents will be tied up in court
courtparentstied
↓
1f2133b3-d95b-4c7f-aa94-76d337932d16.gif
and Emily's going to be thrown in a foster home
fosterhomethrown
↓
a093cdb3-ab49-4059-8680-46dde10fc711.gif
where she'll bite her foster parents,
bitefosterparentsshell
↓
f5d320cb-0622-483c-9648-04195d3161a0.gif
who will then leave her at a rest stop somewhere,
rest
↓
10dc8d0e-65d1-41e5-884b-4cb6df28ac0e.gif
and she can spend the rest of her life biting hillbillies on the interstate.
bitinginterstateliferestspend
↓
e7d12bf8-1055-472d-92eb-007379e3a878.gif
Okay.
↓
504ee6e6-d6ae-4cb3-a408-d99872088728.gif
My God, you people are handsome.
handsome
↓
f38b9fd0-3253-46ad-bece-acfd78ebfad6.gif
Dios mío!
↓
d14429fc-4fcf-409b-bbca-d7ccf4547662.gif
Oh, oh! Oh, you little monsters!
monsters
↓
abc74079-7246-4563-a807-62c92effd7b0.gif
He's teaching me to swim.
swimteaching
↓
f5e1f1c4-1794-4257-81d1-c1d8d46db573.gif
I can't believe after all he put us through,
believe
↓
b9aacfa9-afc5-4b77-bf01-4a7af3e32d20.gif
Spangler ends up getting drunk and standing up the colonel.
coloneldrunkendsspanglerstanding
↓
6c597ecf-d1ce-48d8-9e37-fa98458327aa.gif
It was creepy how he was wriggling around on the floor like that,
creepyfloor
↓
c53e78ec-95e9-4230-89dc-e807321cd28a.gif
calling for his mother.
callingmother
↓
8885b33a-657d-46ec-b04f-5f490b651e36.gif
I'll go check on him.
check
↓
5fb03a75-46ed-4001-b1f2-3f6f06e078ed.gif
- Sir? - Who's there?
↓
e9006052-d41d-4d82-880e-5d984d72ab23.gif
Um, just me, sir.
↓
75ecc0fc-19b5-4487-b196-11e03f79fd89.gif
What time is it?
↓
3d3a1003-08fe-4286-b0e7-a7614e73ba4c.gif
Colonel North should be here any minute.
colonelminutenorth
↓
ff921ff7-f368-499e-862d-489e6ca520c5.gif
It's morning, sir. You already missed reveille.
missedmorning
↓
cb120fb5-6465-4664-b026-9b502028f064.gif
Oh, my God.
↓
a4532d58-55f3-4d54-bcc1-aecfbb57e417.gif
Oh, my God.
↓
22963115-df01-4b34-bf46-b1f2b284dcf7.gif
The one chance I had to be face-to-face with my hero,
chancefacehero
↓
b0279ff2-1093-41d2-bf6c-a3a362689e5b.gif
and I slept through his visit?
sleptvisit
↓
52d8291b-bb38-4efc-b4fb-42ce17184796.gif
Slept through his visit, sir?
sleptvisit
↓
3ebbe0a3-2b05-4e69-b8ec-df03de2e52f0.gif
You guys were up all night talking.
night
↓
8e6709d5-b135-4f95-8aa3-bdd403df1be9.gif
- We did? - Yeah, you really hit it off.
↓
9818d6b2-df2a-43d2-a7d8-dc1efe0b8b71.gif
He told you to call him Ollie.
ollie
↓
02215a19-6766-4d7a-bb7d-3f5399a1fdd0.gif
- Really? - Don't you remember?
remember
↓
6cc1c6d3-e616-46f6-a1c5-a1db648a402a.gif
You two were joking and laughing like old friends.
friendsjokinglaughing
↓
97b17ac8-de3b-43cf-95c7-f328f12aea46.gif
And drinking Scotch, lots and lots of Scotch.
drinkinglotsscotch
↓
63ee8e8d-7353-41e7-b99e-8e8311408365.gif
- Yes, we did, didn't we? - If I may say so, sir,
↓
2358d7aa-9489-43c0-88b7-dc5ac2e05e0a.gif
you were the happiest I have ever seen you.
happiestseen
↓
7b209af6-5e60-4a51-a455-a6f431335e74.gif
Well, you may. You may.
↓
83c32702-d6ad-4da4-94a0-827a3a1559b0.gif
Now, if you will excuse me, I have to get myself ready.
excuseready
↓
c9360b5f-b8c9-4834-9069-0309bf6bdc09.gif
- Dude, that was classy. - Thanks.
classythanks
↓
11fc2112-69ad-4655-9255-b89bdfcb147c.gif
So when do we get back the pictures of him in the negligee?
pictures
↓
7a501336-acb9-459e-a03f-8084fe071a7a.gif
Wednesday. Poster size takes two days.
dayspostersizetakeswednesday
↓
4a3cc927-66b0-47cf-97b5-674a1c6ced3c.gif
Hey, I'm really sorry about you and Tina.
tina
↓
89b70c3c-053c-46f4-8321-4953c348c32a.gif
- What's this? - A mix tape.
tape
↓
d40d6ce9-d3f0-4e10-aca9-6e420eb409a7.gif
Hey.
↓
d9b2bc0b-4864-4c77-be31-a3bbdee63225.gif
Hi, neighbor. Steve Jenkins.
jenkinsneighborsteve
↓
415df196-afb7-4304-827a-cb3832d9f702.gif
Sorry, Steve.
steve
↓
16fa203e-c079-4b42-a4e5-0deaba89973b.gif
It's just too soon for me.